Franklin & Bash (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript
Peter Bash and Jared Franklin are young, fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants lawyers and partners in the law firm Franklin & Bash. Their nontraditional approach to the legal profession keeps things interesting in the office and the courtroom. The duo's use of questionable legal tactics draws the attention of Stanton Infeld, partner of the prominent law firm of Infeld Daniels. He makes an offer for them to work for him with a promise of certain creative liberty. With work and play frequently intermingling, days and nights are anything but traditional when spending time with Franklin & Bash.
I want you in my bed.
So, what are you waiting for?
Come see me at Mattress Masters
for a great night's sleep.
That's 1245, Firestone Boulevard,
El Monte.
I'll be waiting.
You and Marisa Tomei.
It's not complicated.
The question is fundamentally flawed.
Too many variables.
- You're avoiding it.
- I'm not.
- It's a simple ques...
- You weren't clear on the stakes.
It's a simple question.
Answer it, we'll move on.
What are the odds of you sleeping
with Marisa Tomei?
Do I get to meet her?
If I did, it'd be like 4-to-1.
-4-to-1?
-4-to-1.
You're out of your mind. I saw her
at Home Depot. She looks beautiful.
-10 million-to-1.
- Your numbers are inflated.
- I'd like to see your data.
- How old is she?
- She'll be 46 on December 4th.
- Okay, so...
Putting aside the fact that you know
her birthday, creepy stalker guy...
...in 20 years, she'll be 66.
So the odds plummet.
But in 40 years,
the odds are 1000-to-1.
She'd be like 86,
with dementia, maybe cataracts.
But she's still Marisa Tomei.
What I'm saying is, for guys
like you and me, it is all about...
...patience.
Wait.
- Got it?
- Yep.
- You all right?
- I think so.
We're lawyers. You're the victim
of one of the dangers that faces our city.
- We'd like to help you collect.
- But it was my fault.
- Studies show that it is...
- Impossible to operate a vehicle...
...if you're forced
to take your eyes off...
For more than six seconds.
That advertisement runs for 18.
Come by the office. We'll talk.
Hello? He hit me.
Legally,
we can't guarantee any results
- You'll be fine.
- The Law Offices of Franklin & Bash.
- We've got your back.
- We've got your back.
Once again, that's Franklin & Bash.
What is the Alameda discovery
motion doing in the refrigerator?
- It's got hummus on it.
- Oh, there's hummus left.
It's 10: 13 a. m.
I say we start without him.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Jean-Claude Van Damme marathon
last night. Unavoidable.
You know, Bloodsport,
not in AFI's top 100 films. It's insane.
It's political.
- Let's go around.
- I'll start.
Pindar and I haven't gotten paid
in three weeks.
All right, not to worry.
We're going to jury
on the billboard case, and we will win.
If we don't, I'll sell my ass on Sunset.
That'll be like printing money.
- I'll sell my ass too, Jared.
- Thanks, buddy.
Excuse me. I've got the ball?
Sorry.
Let's have our ducks in a row.
It is one duck,
and the witness is subpoenaed.
- Ready to go.
- Law to support our theory?
I checked federal and state.
We don't have a leg to stand on.
The law was made
by rich white people.
Our job is not to follow the law.
Our job is to make the law.
What's going on
with Annie Benton's case?
Got a motion to dismiss Friday.
They've got no case.
Anyone wanna guess which
deputy DA is against us?
Janie and I have moved on.
Not a problem.
Bullshit.
I feel like Ali walking in the Garden
in his first fight against Frazier.
That's the idea, the mindset, except,
you know, Ali lost. Do you like this tie?
- I'm ready. I am in the zone.
- Game time.
Peter.
Iceberg.
- Come on.
- I got your motion to dismiss.
- It's thin.
- There was no sex.
Annie's not a hooker.
She's a dominatrix.
- Huge difference.
- Really like the up-do.
- What?
- No, you just...
You still dating
that Civil War re-enactor?
- What?
- Yeah, the guy with the soul patch?
- You had a soul patch.
- Great. So he stole my look.
- Peter.
- I miss you.
There. You know, I said it.
Janie, I'm not the same guy.
I've evolved.
Hey, scrotum face. Come on.
See you in court, scrotum face.
Hi, Janie. I'm fine. Nice ass.
So's the stick in it.
- Bash, head in the game.
- My head's in the game. Don't worry.
- Worry about that tie.
- What's wrong with my tie?
Good luck.
Trying a case against you has been...
- Anyway, good luck.
- That's a talent.
Sounding like a total asshole...
...even when you're
saying something sincere.
- Nice tie. Are those turtles?
- What's wrong with turtles?
Oh, by all means, go first.
Couple of fancy trial attorneys.
Oh, thanks, compadre.
Not sure about wearing sweats
into court, but God bless.
Oh, God bless you.
Miss Spencer, can you tell us
what brought you to Los Angeles?
I moved here from Chula Vista
last year to be a model.
And how exactly did you book
the Mattress Masters ad?
- My agent...
- Objection, Your Honour.
She's disrobing?
The client wanted
a model who could...
- ... demand attention...
- Your Honour.
Your Honour?
Ms. Spencer, please refrain
from taking off your blouse.
Thank you.
Don't listen to him.
Excuse me.
Counsel, did you just tell the witness
to disregard my order?
- No.
- Nice!
- Objection.
- You're in contempt.
Remand him to custody.
Miss Spencer.
Justice is blind,
but justice is also naked.
Miss Spencer, please step down.
Fully dressed.
- It's all yours.
- Well played.
Thank you.
- Don't tase me, bro.
- Order.
I apologise for my colleague.
He gets carried away sometimes.
Apparently, so does Ms. Spencer.
But let's focus
on what she had to say.
When we asked her what the ad agency
was looking for, she said...
I've drawn a complete blank. I'm sorry.
Could the court reporter
please read back...
- ... Ms. Spencer's answer?
- I didn't get it.
I was distracted.
Distracted.
- Can we get Ms. Spencer back in here...?
- Absolutely not.
Mr. Karp?
Do you remember?
Well, it seems everyone
was distracted.
And if we were all distracted
by Ms. Spencer in court...
...what about the people operating
heavy machinery on Sunset Boulevard?
- What you got?
- Strik e.
- How was lock-up?
- Productive.
Signed two DUIs and a weenie wagger.
You got nothing.
Okay, guys? Hello?
That was Infeld Daniels about
the billboard case. They wanna settle.
They wanna settle!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Yes!
I don't care if he was calling
to wish me a happy birthday.
He pulled me out of the
Chamberlin depo. Bill him for the call.
Bitchy little barracuda.
I'm getting movement
in the lumberyard.
Mr. Franklin and Mr. Bash
to see Mr. Infeld.
We're meeting with Stanton Infeld?
He took on Exxon
over the Santa Barbara oil rig.
- Stanton Infeld is...
- That guy.
- Mr. Franklin and Mr. Bash.
- I'm glad you could make it.
Please, come in. Sit down.
Well, that was
very impressive yesterday.
Of course, your witness
wouldn't have come close...
...if you hadn't pulled
Judge Emerson.
Well, if the facts are against you, argue
the law. If the law's against you...
Have a chick with enormous breasts
take off her clothes.
Yeah. Well, yes.
Look, I have advised my clients
to settle.
Well, that's nice, but we'll take our
chances with the jury, the next time.
- Good doing business with you.
- We haven't started yet.
I want you both to come here
and work for me at Infeld Daniels.
As attorneys?
Yes, of course.
I've had my eye on both of you
for quite some time.
Peter Bash, no one plays a jury
better than you.
The way you look
past their eyes into their souls.
Jared Franklin, son of the legendary
trial lawyer Leonard Franklin...
...you're F. Lee Bailey
meets Barnum & Bailey.
Are you familiar with yin and yang?
The tramp-stamp tattoo? Sure.
The idea that opposing forces
are interconnected...
...and interdependent,
giving rise to each other.
No way.
Watch something besides
Real Housewives.
They're real housewives, Peter.
I want to bring
these opposing forces together...
...to create a more powerful energy
at this firm.
Well, thanks,
but we're not cut out for a big firm.
Can you give us a minute?
- We are taking this offer.
- What?
Oh, come on, this is about Janie.
I'm not gonna blow a good thing
over some girl.
I'm not sticking around while you
try to get back at your father.
I will consider it
if we can keep Carmen and Pindar...
...and we get to keep doing the cases
that made Franklin & Bash famous.
- And I want a '75 Bronco.
- You wanna counter with a Bronco?
- I accept all your conditions.
- Sweet Moses. Okay.
Full disclosure. I never miss
an opening day at Anaheim or Del Mar.
I've got a three-day pass
for Coachella.
Good to know. We can carpool.
Do you like strawberry jam?
This place looks lik e the Borg Cube.
- What?
- Star Trek: Next Generation.
The Borg attempt to assimilate
every species into Borg.
You can't spew Star Wars dorkage
if you can't make it downtown.
Star Trek. And downtown is dirty.
Nut up, Pindy. There's a billion
more germs in the cave.
I've built up an immunity
to Franklin & Bash toxins.
Turn him off.
It's not too late for us to turn back.
My name is Debbie Wilcox,
I'll be your assistant.
Call us Peter and Jared.
We don't like to work past 4:00.
Never ask you to run an errand.
Unless it's a package
from Central America.
- He's joking.
- You're cool.
Here we are.
There's only one desk.
We'll both need...
Oh, this is your office, Mr. Bash.
Mr. Franklin's office is next door.
We'll need that wall taken down.
Yes, sir. I'll call someone.
Well, at this point, I'd like to welcome
Jared Franklin and Peter Bash.
Jared Franklin. I love the law.
As soon as the state recognises it,
I'm gonna marry that law.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Peter Bash. Happy to be here.
I'm Carmen. I'm not with them.
And I'm Pindar Singh.
Pindar's writing a brief
due tomorrow...
...but we expect he'll be starting
in the office very soon.
I don't expect much
the first few days.
Just listen and shadow the partners.
Right. Damien, what's going on
with Trans-Sky Airlines?
You've heard about the 707 that made
the landing in the Oxnard cornfield.
Of course.
Touchdown Tommy Donegan.
Makes that Sully guy
look like a big pussy.
So much for just listening.
Passengers are suing
for injuries sustained during landing.
We're gonna make it about Donegan.
We're done, a jury would more likely
convict Susan Boyle than Donegan.
- I love Susan Boyle.
- Oh, she's great.
She's an angel.
Right. Franklin and Bash?
Peter's about to start
his dominatrix case...
...and I'm representing
medical marijuana against the city.
So if you need some samples,
ding-dong.
Why are they here?
- Impressive, right?
- I give you guys two weeks.
- Welcome. Hanna Linden.
- Jared Franklin.
We should grab coffee sometime.
I can tell you
where the bodies are buried.
I'd like that. Hanna.
- I got something she can bury.
- Elegant.
- Like it?
- Go with that.
- I gotta get to court.
- Good luck.
How did you like your first meeting?
Good. Except for that Karp guy,
what a dick.
- Damien's my nephew.
- You didn't let me finish.
We're taking Trans-Sky to the media.
There's a press conference
today at 3.
Now, Damien will be running it.
I want you and Peter
to go down there...
...and familiarise yourselves
with the case.
You know, soften Damien up,
if need be.
He gets very contentious
around journalists.
Shocking. Not a problem.
We've got your back.
That's our ads on bus stops and
urinal cakes. You may have seen them.
Yeah, well...
Where's my office?
- You told me to dress conservatively.
- Before I learned we got Emerson.
I had him on my last case.
He loves the ladies.
In fact, if I may?
There's my " not guilty. "
This is so humiliating.
The police should feel humiliated.
They arrested you
because you looked like a prostitute.
You are an actress.
You're paid to play a role,
like Dame Judi Dench.
Well, maybe not her.
But thanks.
You're three minutes late.
Please join us.
There must be some confusion.
Judge Emerson is...
Under judicial review.
- Just...
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
Mr. Bash,
your reputation precedes you.
I assure you, I am not gonna put up
with any of your theatrics.
None necessary.
I assume the court has read our brief.
In the absence of proof of sex,
there's no crime here.
Which is why
we're fortunate to have these.
Sorry to bring them late.
Confusion as to where to send them.
Defendant's counsel
has had a change of address.
I find that hard to believe.
Miss Ross is trying to backdoor...
- Baby Jesus.
- Oh, my.
Well, it's been a while,
but this looks like sex to me.
Motion to dismiss is denied.
- You lied to me.
- I didn't lie to you.
- Hello? Reverse cowgirl?
- Evan Porter didn't pay for sex.
He was my boyfriend.
- Your boyfriend?
- Yeah.
He started as a client,
then we started seeing each another.
No money exchanged hands,
because we fell in love.
Just like in The Notebook.
Why didn't you tell me?
After, I found out he was married.
I am not a home wrecker.
He lied to you.
Have you ever been in love?
Sometimes you do things
that defy explanation.
If he loves you, then he'll stand up
and say it under oath.
Tommy Donegan is a decorated
veteran with over 10,000 flight hours.
And yet the very people
whose lives he and the airline saved...
...have brought this extraordinary and
unwarranted attack against my client.
- Now...
- How'd it go with Annie?
Game over.
Can I keep these?
Who's the douche next to Karp?
Neal Bryant, CEO of Trans-Sky Airlines.
Feel free to open a file once in a while.
I'm not a hero,
and neither was my co-pilot...
- ... Barry Stone.
- Barry.
I did what I learned in flight school,
and let the plane do the rest.
Captain, TMZ reports
you were intimately involved...
...with a flight attendant
before the engine flamed out.
You're referencing a blog?
The pilot logbook shows
that you left the cockpit at 1:52 p. m.
We're allowed to.
And were seen going in a restroom...
- ... with a woman, Rachel Salazar.
- Rachel's a friend of mine.
- I would never...
- Shut up.
Did Karp just tell the client
to shut up?
Are you a player, Captain Donegan?
Are you a player?
I said a few questions,
and this guy blew it for all of you.
- Death spiral. We gotta do something.
- Yeah, okay.
- What the hell was that?
- Diversion.
There's a fight.
Not the face.
Fight!
Reporting live from City Hall...
Yes, they're here at the pool house.
- Hey.
- I'll handle it.
Well, your little stunt today is up to
100,000 hits on YouTube.
The partners
are questioning my sanity...
- ... on bringing you guys on board.
- Actively questioning his sanity.
FYI, Damien.
Repeating someone else's sentence
doesn't make it a thought.
Kumiko, please allow me to impress
my friends with my Japanese.
Laugh as if I just said
something amusing.
It's not that funny.
Dude speaks Japanese.
That's awesome.
We wanna apologise
for the 100,000 hits on YouTube.
Yeah, well, we're sorry.
We were hoping for a million.
Excuse me?
Check the news. It's about two lawyers
kicking the crap out of each other.
Nothing about
that your Captain America...
- ... is a mile-high frequent flier.
- And a pathological degenerate.
It's not our place to judge.
One man gathers
what another spills.
- I like that. Confucius? Mencius?
- Grateful Dead.
Sorry to interrupt
with something relevant...
...but, witness or not, Donegan's
character is now front and centre.
So if the paparazzi don't nail him,
someone with a cell phone will.
Damien's right.
I am worried about
tainting the jury pool.
I mean, we have based our entire case
on Donegan's character.
He cannot be left alone.
You know...
- ... I've got a crazy idea.
- I doubt it could top hiring these two.
- Donegan stays at your place.
- And it does.
Trial starts Tuesday.
It's only about a week.
Bring the party to him,
he won't itch to go out.
Right. Well, everyone, clear out.
My sensei is waiting.
Good. How you feel?
- Good.
- Good.
Seriously, why are they here?
Is this a joke?
Do they have pictures of you
with a Burmese she-male?
Not that I know of.
You'll just have to trust me on this one,
Damien.
- Love you too.
- Thank you.
Might wanna go
to the conference room.
Your partner's about to get punched.
- Thanks.
- Any chance you could mix in a song...
...doesn't make me wanna
blow my brains out?
- What are you doing?
- I'm working.
On what, your backhand?
No, I...
What's wrong with my backhand?
It's the biggest screen
in the building.
Forty-15.
Oh, good shot. Your serve.
I have reserved this conference room.
No problem.
We're all professionals here.
Karaoke machine?
Right here. Across the lobby,
third door on the left.
- Can I talk to you?
- You got it.
- A karaoke machine?
- Wouldn't care if this was the cave.
It's not the cave.
It's a law firm that's paying us...
To bring in karaoke machines.
To mess with the zombie culture.
- And occasionally practise law.
- Exactly. Occasionally.
I could've gone to work at a big firm,
but I chose to stay because...
You got caught boning the senior
partner's daughter in his office.
A contributing factor,
but not the sole reason.
I wanted to help you out.
Can we meet them halfway?
Sure. Here's halfway.
This half stays the same.
This half sells out.
What?
Can I do for you?
Trouble in paradise?
No, no, that's nothing.
We have three of those a week.
My old boyfriend was a lawyer too.
We fought a lot.
- How'd you work things out?
- I've found makeup sex works.
Well, I'll run it by Peter. We did it once,
and it got awkward, but...
You know,
we're babysitting the pilot tonight.
I don't know if you wanna swing by
and check up on us.
Thanks, but I've got plans.
Maybe another time.
This thing's amazing.
It's almost like the real thing, except
I'm awake and I got my pants on.
That's disgusting.
- Seriously?
- No, I'm just kidding.
Never been a member
of the mile-high club...
...while I was piloting the plane.
I'm a member since 2002.
Had sex in an airplane bathroom
35,000 feet over Denver.
- All right.
- Doesn't count when you do it alone.
Never mind.
Hey.
What's wrong?
I went to go see Evan.
He said that he never loved me
and that he was just paying for the sex.
What a dick.
He said that I was his sex addiction.
You sure there were no texts
or e-mails saying he loves you?
Even if you erased them.
No, we met post-Tiger,
so he was really adamant...
- ... about no e-mails or sexting, nothing.
- So it's her word against his.
Maybe we can get her clients
to testify...
...that they never had sex with Annie.
Yeah. It'll help establish a pattern
for her business practice.
- That's good.
- I got it.
That's not enough to get her off.
- Don't.
- I wasn't.
We put the boyfriend on the stand.
No, we can't do that without anything
to impeach Evan's testimony.
Gonna look like
we're trying to humiliate him.
We're doing it.
He likes to be humiliated.
We'll do it for free.
Hey. You came.
- How's Touchdown Tommy doing?
- So far, so good.
We're about to start
the drinking game...
...and read some Goodnight Moon.
I thought you had plans.
I did, but my friend
and I got into a fight.
Well, sounds like someone's
getting some makeup sex tonight.
Yes, somebody is.
This is where the magic happens,
mostly.
- Oh, impressive.
- To your friend.
Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.
That's Empire
when Luke visits Yoda in Dagobah...
...and I'm hopeful that someday
you may share my last name.
Yep.
It's been over between Janie and me
for about a year now.
You know how it is.
For one of us, it isn't.
Yeah, I've been there. My wife.
We were only married eight months.
If I'd been a better husband,
she wouldn't have left...
...and I wouldn't have a rep
as a womaniser.
- People wouldn't make up lies.
- Who would make up this lie?
We build up our heroes
just to tear them down.
First that boy in the balloon, now me.
Yeah.
Don't you worry.
We're gonna clear your name.
You know, for lawyers,
you guys are almost human.
Pindy, how many showers
is that tonight?
- Just three.
- Good for you.
Get out of here,
or we have sex in your bed.
Don't come back unless
there's a fire. Like, a huge fire.
Backdraft, Pindar!
Hey.
I found something in the code could
support our argument in Annie's case.
Fantastic. Let me see it.
Yeah, which reminds me...
...gonna need new girl
to sign the waivers.
Shepardise these.
Make sure the law's good.
Got it.
Thanks.
Yes, thank you. I will certainly
tak e you up on that drink.
My sound advice to you.
These Donegan allegations,
along with the layoffs, are killing us.
Stock is down
8 percent this quarter.
I'm looking at a lynch mob
at the meeting.
- Actually, allegations could save you.
- What are you talking about?
If Donegan's actions
were so outrageous...
...they were outside
of his employment...
...as a pilot for Trans-Sky Airlines,
they can't be held liable...
...which gets Trans-Sky
dismissed from the case.
Puts the whole thing on Donegan.
Only one problem.
There's no witness...
...who saw Donegan
with the flight attendant.
There's always a witness.
You just have to know their price.
Jared!
- What?
- I was on... They...
The pilot in trouble.
Fire! Towering Inferno.
Excuse me.
Look how much bigger this is than my...
Law books. You must be so smart.
Do you want something?
I want you to pull the plug on your
"throw Donegan under the bus" plan.
Give us the room for a second?
- Thank you.
- Take five, guys.
Me and the president are gonna rap.
Seems that someone forgot to shut off
the video to Pindar last night.
We heard everything.
Now, from what I understand...
...you were exploiting
the emotional state of a senior partner.
- Hanna's boyfriend.
- Hanna's trying to rekindle something...
...went on
before we worked at the firm.
Unlike you, I recognise that workplace
relationships are inappropriate.
They're even actionable.
Obviously, Hanna's acting out.
There definitely
was some role-playing.
- Pindar saw everything.
- Is that right?
- He's willing to testify.
- Really?
Well, that's interesting, because I
heard that Pindar doesn't get out much.
You can't testify
as to what Pindar heard...
...because that would be hearsay.
That would be hearsay.
We'll be making the motion
to dismiss the airline today.
- You don't have a witness.
- Oh, no, actually, we do.
Barry Stone, Donegan's co-pilot.
He saw him leave the flight deck
right before the crash.
- How much are you paying him?
- Please.
- Count on Pindar being there.
- I look forward to it.
And by the way, if you say anything
to Donegan about communications...
...between me and my client,
I'll have you and Bash disbarred.
Like that ever scares us.
- Hey, where's Infeld?
- Out of pocket for the day.
Damn it.
Oh, you.
Did you come over to get
back at Karp, or to feed him intel?
I like you.
I wouldn't have come over if I didn't.
Sorry you felt used.
Hey, you can use me for sex
anytime.
But if you used me
to screw over Tommy Donegan...
...you and I got bigger problems.
Aren't you supposed to just shadow?
I don't shadow. I cast shadows.
And Tommy Donegan
is a part of that airline.
I was going...
You cannot continue to lead a 2D
existence and work at this firm.
I need 3D Pindar in court today!
Or those dicks will take Donegan down.
They teach a class on me at the
psychiatric institute in Zurich, Jared.
Zurich.
I have a phobia. Phobias.
- Phobias? Phobium?
- You know what? I got a cure.
Repeated blows to your head...
...with your bronze Darth Maul statue
if you are not in court by 1.
You hear me? Do you...? Pindy!
So it was strictly business
between you and Annie Benton?
I mean, you'd pay her
and she'd humiliate you?
- Objection.
- Perhaps the district attorney...
...isn't familiar
with sadomasochism...
...after all her repressed
years in Gamma Pi.
I'm not proud of my behaviour.
Well, we're all pretty bizarre.
Some of us are just better at hiding it...
...that's all.
- Did I say something funny?
- No. No.
Actually, you said something stolen.
Emilio Estevez, The Breakfast Club.
That was his line.
It's my favourite movie.
Yours too, right?
Along with Wedding Crashers,
Gremlins and Yentl.
Yeah. I guess.
You would discuss cinema
in between lashes of her barbed whip?
And I'm not judging.
- No.
- Yeah.
Sounds more like pillow talk
between two people in love.
Don't you think?
You know what? I don't know.
Well, of course you don't know.
I mean, no one really knows.
But these photos
don't prove an absence of love.
But what is love?
Giving someone a foot rub every night,
even though you think feet look weird...
...and you'd just as soon
not be reminded people have them?
That sounds like love.
Or writing an entire rock opera with...
Maybe the music borrowed from Rent,
but the lyrics were all yours.
That would probably qualify
as proof of love.
- Or having an airplane trail a banner...
- All right, Mr. Bash.
Is there a question
coming any time soon?
Absent tangible proof, how would you
prove you loved your husband?
I didn't mean a question for me.
I know what I'd do.
I'd look into their eyes.
That's where the truth is.
Mr. Porter, I want you to look my client
in the eyes, and I want you to answer:
Are you now, or have you ever been,
in love with Annie Benton?
No. No, I've never loved her.
- No further questions, Your Honour.
- Thank you, Mr. Bash.
We will take a short break
and reconvene at 2:00.
Come on, Pindar. You can do this.
Good boy. Let's do this.
Let's go to court.
Oh, God.
Mr. Stone's testimony
concerning Mr. Donegan...
...leaving the flight deck
with Ms. Salazar...
...combined with Mr. Donegan's
shoddy employment record...
...replete with
instances of reckless behaviour...
...leaves the court with no choice...
...but to dismiss
Trans-Sky Airlines from the case.
I don't think
that could have gone any better.
Barry, what the hell?
Tommy, we tried to stop it.
You know, you guys pretend
that you're not like the other guys...
...but you're just like them.
He testifies and you're fired.
How do you feel?
Bryant must have
backed up the truck to pay off Stone.
Small price to save your company.
Is this who we are now?
Just big-footing the little guy?
- We can't let them do this.
- Yeah. We have to plant our flag.
Let them know this is not
how we do it.
I say we saddle up. Ride to the
Trans-Sky shareholders' meeting.
Take the fight to them.
Love it. Let's ride.
- I can't. Gotta get back to court.
- What?
I'll get there as soon as I can.
- Don't just stand there. Like the wind.
- Like the wind. All right.
Okay.
Okay, no, I got it. Got it.
Okay, so Jared's on his way...
...to the Trans-Sky shareholders'
meeting at the airport.
Look, Pindar, you can still do this.
I tried. You saw what happened.
Oh, God. Don't remind me.
Look, I experienced that
with all five senses.
Pindar, Jared and Peter
took a chance with us.
Do you think there's a lot of law firms
that would hire an ex-con...
...and an agoraphobe
who is terrified of birds?
Have you ever really looked at one?
They have weird faces.
Eyes on the side of their head.
How can they see in front of them?
They're descended from dinosaurs.
They're tiny velociraptors.
Pindar, we both owe them.
But today they needed you.
- Demons of the sky.
- You let them down.
Hi. Excuse me.
Stanton. I need to speak with you.
Yes, yes, thank you.
I got your messages.
Apparently, a man can't have
a poppy-seed colonic...
- ... without the whole world calling.
- Hey. What are you two doing here?
Celebrating Trans-Sky's victory.
Same as you.
I wonder if you told Stanton
how you won the case.
- I want him out of here.
- All right, look.
- What's going on here?
- Nothing much. Suborning perjury.
Sacrificing an innocent client
to benefit a more important one.
What does a guy have to do to get
one of those little pizza thingies?
- Just ask, buddy.
- Hey, thanks.
- How'd it go?
- Rocked the closing. Jury's out.
Stanton, these two clowns are hurting
the firm and ruining your name.
Ruining your name? Your nephew cut
Donegan loose without consulting you.
Your fat-cat client over there paid off
a witness to testify against Donegan.
I'm paying you guys
$850 an hour for this?
If you have proof of any of this,
why didn't you present it in court?
- Well, it wasn't...
- It wasn't us.
...actually us who heard
or saw the incident in question.
But it was Pindar, and, well, he's...
Hello. My name is Pindar Singh.
Thank you for your attention.
I bear disturbing news
about Trans-Sky management.
It is with a great deal of regret...
...that I must avouch to you
that your leaders...
- Pindar!
- ... have...
We want Tommy Donegan hired back,
Trans-Sky to release a statement...
...confirming he's an American hero.
Now, you hired us because we
reminded you of you and your partner...
...when you first started.
See, the question is...
...what would you have done
when you were us?
You do whatever you have to do.
I want to hear what Pindar has to say.
You got it.
- Wilfully and...
- No!
Deal.
Just tell that freak
to step away from the podium.
You know, you better hire yourself
another lawyer.
We're getting
out of the scumbag business.
And I'll talk to you later.
Awesome.
Ta-ta.
I'm gonna find the bar.
- Well...
- Look...
...I'm not sure why you decided
to work here...
...instead of go work
for your father's firm.
Not even sure that you're sure,
but I'm just glad you're here.
Oh, Peter,
I'm glad I don't have a daughter.
- I'd better check on Pindar.
- Yeah.
The fact
you won't sleep with Hanna...
...because it violates
some Victorian ethical code...
...makes me respect you a little.
But mostly, I'm just glad
because I still got a shot.
You got no shot.
I got a shot.
- Pindy.
- Hey, Peter.
I took the bus. I took the bus.
Hey, buddy.
We are so proud of you.
- It smelt like yoghurt...
- You won the case for us.
...and sex.
- Think you can let go of the podium?
- I do not.
- The verdict's in on Annie's case.
- Go, go, go. I got this.
Hey, tell Janie I say hi.
In the above entitled action
on the sole count of prostitution...
...we find the defendant not guilty.
Thank you.
- I'm so happy for you.
- Appreciate it.
Peter, can we talk?
- Five minutes?
- Yeah.
Bash.
- I'm sorry.
- For what?
The can of whup-ass I unleashed.
Oh, that makes you, what,
one for 10 against me now?
One for 14, actually.
I may not win
now that you're with the big boys.
Congrats on the gig.
- Never thought I'd see the day.
- Well, thanks.
- You wanted to talk?
- I do.
Oh, see, I love those two words
coming out of your mouth.
Well, you're gonna hear them again.
Peter, I'm engaged.
I wanted you to hear it
coming from me.
I appreciate you telling me.
I mean, really? Engaged?
- Yeah.
- That's great. That's great.
- You're okay?
- Yeah.
- Good.
- Yeah. I'm fine.
- Yeah.
- Great. Right. Yeah. Good.
Wait.
I still got a shot.
Peter Bash.
Alan, can I get a number four
for Peter?
All right. How about winning not one,
but two cases today, huh?
Hey, that's a good year for us.
You okay?
You get a date
with Scarlett Johansson.
Don't joke about Scarlett. Ever.
One night, but there's a catch.
Doesn't matter. Nothing could keep me
from Scar Jo. Nothing. Go.
Mike Tyson has to punch you
in the face one time.
- Hard?
- Right cross, full force.
It 1980s Tyson
or crying-on-Oprah Tyson?
Eighties Tyson.
Chance to sleep with the most
beautiful woman in the world.
And a chance to live in a coma
the rest of your life.
Can I have the sex first
and then the punch?
Sorry.
So, what are you waiting for?
Come see me at Mattress Masters
for a great night's sleep.
That's 1245, Firestone Boulevard,
El Monte.
I'll be waiting.
You and Marisa Tomei.
It's not complicated.
The question is fundamentally flawed.
Too many variables.
- You're avoiding it.
- I'm not.
- It's a simple ques...
- You weren't clear on the stakes.
It's a simple question.
Answer it, we'll move on.
What are the odds of you sleeping
with Marisa Tomei?
Do I get to meet her?
If I did, it'd be like 4-to-1.
-4-to-1?
-4-to-1.
You're out of your mind. I saw her
at Home Depot. She looks beautiful.
-10 million-to-1.
- Your numbers are inflated.
- I'd like to see your data.
- How old is she?
- She'll be 46 on December 4th.
- Okay, so...
Putting aside the fact that you know
her birthday, creepy stalker guy...
...in 20 years, she'll be 66.
So the odds plummet.
But in 40 years,
the odds are 1000-to-1.
She'd be like 86,
with dementia, maybe cataracts.
But she's still Marisa Tomei.
What I'm saying is, for guys
like you and me, it is all about...
...patience.
Wait.
- Got it?
- Yep.
- You all right?
- I think so.
We're lawyers. You're the victim
of one of the dangers that faces our city.
- We'd like to help you collect.
- But it was my fault.
- Studies show that it is...
- Impossible to operate a vehicle...
...if you're forced
to take your eyes off...
For more than six seconds.
That advertisement runs for 18.
Come by the office. We'll talk.
Hello? He hit me.
Legally,
we can't guarantee any results
- You'll be fine.
- The Law Offices of Franklin & Bash.
- We've got your back.
- We've got your back.
Once again, that's Franklin & Bash.
What is the Alameda discovery
motion doing in the refrigerator?
- It's got hummus on it.
- Oh, there's hummus left.
It's 10: 13 a. m.
I say we start without him.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Jean-Claude Van Damme marathon
last night. Unavoidable.
You know, Bloodsport,
not in AFI's top 100 films. It's insane.
It's political.
- Let's go around.
- I'll start.
Pindar and I haven't gotten paid
in three weeks.
All right, not to worry.
We're going to jury
on the billboard case, and we will win.
If we don't, I'll sell my ass on Sunset.
That'll be like printing money.
- I'll sell my ass too, Jared.
- Thanks, buddy.
Excuse me. I've got the ball?
Sorry.
Let's have our ducks in a row.
It is one duck,
and the witness is subpoenaed.
- Ready to go.
- Law to support our theory?
I checked federal and state.
We don't have a leg to stand on.
The law was made
by rich white people.
Our job is not to follow the law.
Our job is to make the law.
What's going on
with Annie Benton's case?
Got a motion to dismiss Friday.
They've got no case.
Anyone wanna guess which
deputy DA is against us?
Janie and I have moved on.
Not a problem.
Bullshit.
I feel like Ali walking in the Garden
in his first fight against Frazier.
That's the idea, the mindset, except,
you know, Ali lost. Do you like this tie?
- I'm ready. I am in the zone.
- Game time.
Peter.
Iceberg.
- Come on.
- I got your motion to dismiss.
- It's thin.
- There was no sex.
Annie's not a hooker.
She's a dominatrix.
- Huge difference.
- Really like the up-do.
- What?
- No, you just...
You still dating
that Civil War re-enactor?
- What?
- Yeah, the guy with the soul patch?
- You had a soul patch.
- Great. So he stole my look.
- Peter.
- I miss you.
There. You know, I said it.
Janie, I'm not the same guy.
I've evolved.
Hey, scrotum face. Come on.
See you in court, scrotum face.
Hi, Janie. I'm fine. Nice ass.
So's the stick in it.
- Bash, head in the game.
- My head's in the game. Don't worry.
- Worry about that tie.
- What's wrong with my tie?
Good luck.
Trying a case against you has been...
- Anyway, good luck.
- That's a talent.
Sounding like a total asshole...
...even when you're
saying something sincere.
- Nice tie. Are those turtles?
- What's wrong with turtles?
Oh, by all means, go first.
Couple of fancy trial attorneys.
Oh, thanks, compadre.
Not sure about wearing sweats
into court, but God bless.
Oh, God bless you.
Miss Spencer, can you tell us
what brought you to Los Angeles?
I moved here from Chula Vista
last year to be a model.
And how exactly did you book
the Mattress Masters ad?
- My agent...
- Objection, Your Honour.
She's disrobing?
The client wanted
a model who could...
- ... demand attention...
- Your Honour.
Your Honour?
Ms. Spencer, please refrain
from taking off your blouse.
Thank you.
Don't listen to him.
Excuse me.
Counsel, did you just tell the witness
to disregard my order?
- No.
- Nice!
- Objection.
- You're in contempt.
Remand him to custody.
Miss Spencer.
Justice is blind,
but justice is also naked.
Miss Spencer, please step down.
Fully dressed.
- It's all yours.
- Well played.
Thank you.
- Don't tase me, bro.
- Order.
I apologise for my colleague.
He gets carried away sometimes.
Apparently, so does Ms. Spencer.
But let's focus
on what she had to say.
When we asked her what the ad agency
was looking for, she said...
I've drawn a complete blank. I'm sorry.
Could the court reporter
please read back...
- ... Ms. Spencer's answer?
- I didn't get it.
I was distracted.
Distracted.
- Can we get Ms. Spencer back in here...?
- Absolutely not.
Mr. Karp?
Do you remember?
Well, it seems everyone
was distracted.
And if we were all distracted
by Ms. Spencer in court...
...what about the people operating
heavy machinery on Sunset Boulevard?
- What you got?
- Strik e.
- How was lock-up?
- Productive.
Signed two DUIs and a weenie wagger.
You got nothing.
Okay, guys? Hello?
That was Infeld Daniels about
the billboard case. They wanna settle.
They wanna settle!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Yes!
I don't care if he was calling
to wish me a happy birthday.
He pulled me out of the
Chamberlin depo. Bill him for the call.
Bitchy little barracuda.
I'm getting movement
in the lumberyard.
Mr. Franklin and Mr. Bash
to see Mr. Infeld.
We're meeting with Stanton Infeld?
He took on Exxon
over the Santa Barbara oil rig.
- Stanton Infeld is...
- That guy.
- Mr. Franklin and Mr. Bash.
- I'm glad you could make it.
Please, come in. Sit down.
Well, that was
very impressive yesterday.
Of course, your witness
wouldn't have come close...
...if you hadn't pulled
Judge Emerson.
Well, if the facts are against you, argue
the law. If the law's against you...
Have a chick with enormous breasts
take off her clothes.
Yeah. Well, yes.
Look, I have advised my clients
to settle.
Well, that's nice, but we'll take our
chances with the jury, the next time.
- Good doing business with you.
- We haven't started yet.
I want you both to come here
and work for me at Infeld Daniels.
As attorneys?
Yes, of course.
I've had my eye on both of you
for quite some time.
Peter Bash, no one plays a jury
better than you.
The way you look
past their eyes into their souls.
Jared Franklin, son of the legendary
trial lawyer Leonard Franklin...
...you're F. Lee Bailey
meets Barnum & Bailey.
Are you familiar with yin and yang?
The tramp-stamp tattoo? Sure.
The idea that opposing forces
are interconnected...
...and interdependent,
giving rise to each other.
No way.
Watch something besides
Real Housewives.
They're real housewives, Peter.
I want to bring
these opposing forces together...
...to create a more powerful energy
at this firm.
Well, thanks,
but we're not cut out for a big firm.
Can you give us a minute?
- We are taking this offer.
- What?
Oh, come on, this is about Janie.
I'm not gonna blow a good thing
over some girl.
I'm not sticking around while you
try to get back at your father.
I will consider it
if we can keep Carmen and Pindar...
...and we get to keep doing the cases
that made Franklin & Bash famous.
- And I want a '75 Bronco.
- You wanna counter with a Bronco?
- I accept all your conditions.
- Sweet Moses. Okay.
Full disclosure. I never miss
an opening day at Anaheim or Del Mar.
I've got a three-day pass
for Coachella.
Good to know. We can carpool.
Do you like strawberry jam?
This place looks lik e the Borg Cube.
- What?
- Star Trek: Next Generation.
The Borg attempt to assimilate
every species into Borg.
You can't spew Star Wars dorkage
if you can't make it downtown.
Star Trek. And downtown is dirty.
Nut up, Pindy. There's a billion
more germs in the cave.
I've built up an immunity
to Franklin & Bash toxins.
Turn him off.
It's not too late for us to turn back.
My name is Debbie Wilcox,
I'll be your assistant.
Call us Peter and Jared.
We don't like to work past 4:00.
Never ask you to run an errand.
Unless it's a package
from Central America.
- He's joking.
- You're cool.
Here we are.
There's only one desk.
We'll both need...
Oh, this is your office, Mr. Bash.
Mr. Franklin's office is next door.
We'll need that wall taken down.
Yes, sir. I'll call someone.
Well, at this point, I'd like to welcome
Jared Franklin and Peter Bash.
Jared Franklin. I love the law.
As soon as the state recognises it,
I'm gonna marry that law.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Peter Bash. Happy to be here.
I'm Carmen. I'm not with them.
And I'm Pindar Singh.
Pindar's writing a brief
due tomorrow...
...but we expect he'll be starting
in the office very soon.
I don't expect much
the first few days.
Just listen and shadow the partners.
Right. Damien, what's going on
with Trans-Sky Airlines?
You've heard about the 707 that made
the landing in the Oxnard cornfield.
Of course.
Touchdown Tommy Donegan.
Makes that Sully guy
look like a big pussy.
So much for just listening.
Passengers are suing
for injuries sustained during landing.
We're gonna make it about Donegan.
We're done, a jury would more likely
convict Susan Boyle than Donegan.
- I love Susan Boyle.
- Oh, she's great.
She's an angel.
Right. Franklin and Bash?
Peter's about to start
his dominatrix case...
...and I'm representing
medical marijuana against the city.
So if you need some samples,
ding-dong.
Why are they here?
- Impressive, right?
- I give you guys two weeks.
- Welcome. Hanna Linden.
- Jared Franklin.
We should grab coffee sometime.
I can tell you
where the bodies are buried.
I'd like that. Hanna.
- I got something she can bury.
- Elegant.
- Like it?
- Go with that.
- I gotta get to court.
- Good luck.
How did you like your first meeting?
Good. Except for that Karp guy,
what a dick.
- Damien's my nephew.
- You didn't let me finish.
We're taking Trans-Sky to the media.
There's a press conference
today at 3.
Now, Damien will be running it.
I want you and Peter
to go down there...
...and familiarise yourselves
with the case.
You know, soften Damien up,
if need be.
He gets very contentious
around journalists.
Shocking. Not a problem.
We've got your back.
That's our ads on bus stops and
urinal cakes. You may have seen them.
Yeah, well...
Where's my office?
- You told me to dress conservatively.
- Before I learned we got Emerson.
I had him on my last case.
He loves the ladies.
In fact, if I may?
There's my " not guilty. "
This is so humiliating.
The police should feel humiliated.
They arrested you
because you looked like a prostitute.
You are an actress.
You're paid to play a role,
like Dame Judi Dench.
Well, maybe not her.
But thanks.
You're three minutes late.
Please join us.
There must be some confusion.
Judge Emerson is...
Under judicial review.
- Just...
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
Mr. Bash,
your reputation precedes you.
I assure you, I am not gonna put up
with any of your theatrics.
None necessary.
I assume the court has read our brief.
In the absence of proof of sex,
there's no crime here.
Which is why
we're fortunate to have these.
Sorry to bring them late.
Confusion as to where to send them.
Defendant's counsel
has had a change of address.
I find that hard to believe.
Miss Ross is trying to backdoor...
- Baby Jesus.
- Oh, my.
Well, it's been a while,
but this looks like sex to me.
Motion to dismiss is denied.
- You lied to me.
- I didn't lie to you.
- Hello? Reverse cowgirl?
- Evan Porter didn't pay for sex.
He was my boyfriend.
- Your boyfriend?
- Yeah.
He started as a client,
then we started seeing each another.
No money exchanged hands,
because we fell in love.
Just like in The Notebook.
Why didn't you tell me?
After, I found out he was married.
I am not a home wrecker.
He lied to you.
Have you ever been in love?
Sometimes you do things
that defy explanation.
If he loves you, then he'll stand up
and say it under oath.
Tommy Donegan is a decorated
veteran with over 10,000 flight hours.
And yet the very people
whose lives he and the airline saved...
...have brought this extraordinary and
unwarranted attack against my client.
- Now...
- How'd it go with Annie?
Game over.
Can I keep these?
Who's the douche next to Karp?
Neal Bryant, CEO of Trans-Sky Airlines.
Feel free to open a file once in a while.
I'm not a hero,
and neither was my co-pilot...
- ... Barry Stone.
- Barry.
I did what I learned in flight school,
and let the plane do the rest.
Captain, TMZ reports
you were intimately involved...
...with a flight attendant
before the engine flamed out.
You're referencing a blog?
The pilot logbook shows
that you left the cockpit at 1:52 p. m.
We're allowed to.
And were seen going in a restroom...
- ... with a woman, Rachel Salazar.
- Rachel's a friend of mine.
- I would never...
- Shut up.
Did Karp just tell the client
to shut up?
Are you a player, Captain Donegan?
Are you a player?
I said a few questions,
and this guy blew it for all of you.
- Death spiral. We gotta do something.
- Yeah, okay.
- What the hell was that?
- Diversion.
There's a fight.
Not the face.
Fight!
Reporting live from City Hall...
Yes, they're here at the pool house.
- Hey.
- I'll handle it.
Well, your little stunt today is up to
100,000 hits on YouTube.
The partners
are questioning my sanity...
- ... on bringing you guys on board.
- Actively questioning his sanity.
FYI, Damien.
Repeating someone else's sentence
doesn't make it a thought.
Kumiko, please allow me to impress
my friends with my Japanese.
Laugh as if I just said
something amusing.
It's not that funny.
Dude speaks Japanese.
That's awesome.
We wanna apologise
for the 100,000 hits on YouTube.
Yeah, well, we're sorry.
We were hoping for a million.
Excuse me?
Check the news. It's about two lawyers
kicking the crap out of each other.
Nothing about
that your Captain America...
- ... is a mile-high frequent flier.
- And a pathological degenerate.
It's not our place to judge.
One man gathers
what another spills.
- I like that. Confucius? Mencius?
- Grateful Dead.
Sorry to interrupt
with something relevant...
...but, witness or not, Donegan's
character is now front and centre.
So if the paparazzi don't nail him,
someone with a cell phone will.
Damien's right.
I am worried about
tainting the jury pool.
I mean, we have based our entire case
on Donegan's character.
He cannot be left alone.
You know...
- ... I've got a crazy idea.
- I doubt it could top hiring these two.
- Donegan stays at your place.
- And it does.
Trial starts Tuesday.
It's only about a week.
Bring the party to him,
he won't itch to go out.
Right. Well, everyone, clear out.
My sensei is waiting.
Good. How you feel?
- Good.
- Good.
Seriously, why are they here?
Is this a joke?
Do they have pictures of you
with a Burmese she-male?
Not that I know of.
You'll just have to trust me on this one,
Damien.
- Love you too.
- Thank you.
Might wanna go
to the conference room.
Your partner's about to get punched.
- Thanks.
- Any chance you could mix in a song...
...doesn't make me wanna
blow my brains out?
- What are you doing?
- I'm working.
On what, your backhand?
No, I...
What's wrong with my backhand?
It's the biggest screen
in the building.
Forty-15.
Oh, good shot. Your serve.
I have reserved this conference room.
No problem.
We're all professionals here.
Karaoke machine?
Right here. Across the lobby,
third door on the left.
- Can I talk to you?
- You got it.
- A karaoke machine?
- Wouldn't care if this was the cave.
It's not the cave.
It's a law firm that's paying us...
To bring in karaoke machines.
To mess with the zombie culture.
- And occasionally practise law.
- Exactly. Occasionally.
I could've gone to work at a big firm,
but I chose to stay because...
You got caught boning the senior
partner's daughter in his office.
A contributing factor,
but not the sole reason.
I wanted to help you out.
Can we meet them halfway?
Sure. Here's halfway.
This half stays the same.
This half sells out.
What?
Can I do for you?
Trouble in paradise?
No, no, that's nothing.
We have three of those a week.
My old boyfriend was a lawyer too.
We fought a lot.
- How'd you work things out?
- I've found makeup sex works.
Well, I'll run it by Peter. We did it once,
and it got awkward, but...
You know,
we're babysitting the pilot tonight.
I don't know if you wanna swing by
and check up on us.
Thanks, but I've got plans.
Maybe another time.
This thing's amazing.
It's almost like the real thing, except
I'm awake and I got my pants on.
That's disgusting.
- Seriously?
- No, I'm just kidding.
Never been a member
of the mile-high club...
...while I was piloting the plane.
I'm a member since 2002.
Had sex in an airplane bathroom
35,000 feet over Denver.
- All right.
- Doesn't count when you do it alone.
Never mind.
Hey.
What's wrong?
I went to go see Evan.
He said that he never loved me
and that he was just paying for the sex.
What a dick.
He said that I was his sex addiction.
You sure there were no texts
or e-mails saying he loves you?
Even if you erased them.
No, we met post-Tiger,
so he was really adamant...
- ... about no e-mails or sexting, nothing.
- So it's her word against his.
Maybe we can get her clients
to testify...
...that they never had sex with Annie.
Yeah. It'll help establish a pattern
for her business practice.
- That's good.
- I got it.
That's not enough to get her off.
- Don't.
- I wasn't.
We put the boyfriend on the stand.
No, we can't do that without anything
to impeach Evan's testimony.
Gonna look like
we're trying to humiliate him.
We're doing it.
He likes to be humiliated.
We'll do it for free.
Hey. You came.
- How's Touchdown Tommy doing?
- So far, so good.
We're about to start
the drinking game...
...and read some Goodnight Moon.
I thought you had plans.
I did, but my friend
and I got into a fight.
Well, sounds like someone's
getting some makeup sex tonight.
Yes, somebody is.
This is where the magic happens,
mostly.
- Oh, impressive.
- To your friend.
Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.
That's Empire
when Luke visits Yoda in Dagobah...
...and I'm hopeful that someday
you may share my last name.
Yep.
It's been over between Janie and me
for about a year now.
You know how it is.
For one of us, it isn't.
Yeah, I've been there. My wife.
We were only married eight months.
If I'd been a better husband,
she wouldn't have left...
...and I wouldn't have a rep
as a womaniser.
- People wouldn't make up lies.
- Who would make up this lie?
We build up our heroes
just to tear them down.
First that boy in the balloon, now me.
Yeah.
Don't you worry.
We're gonna clear your name.
You know, for lawyers,
you guys are almost human.
Pindy, how many showers
is that tonight?
- Just three.
- Good for you.
Get out of here,
or we have sex in your bed.
Don't come back unless
there's a fire. Like, a huge fire.
Backdraft, Pindar!
Hey.
I found something in the code could
support our argument in Annie's case.
Fantastic. Let me see it.
Yeah, which reminds me...
...gonna need new girl
to sign the waivers.
Shepardise these.
Make sure the law's good.
Got it.
Thanks.
Yes, thank you. I will certainly
tak e you up on that drink.
My sound advice to you.
These Donegan allegations,
along with the layoffs, are killing us.
Stock is down
8 percent this quarter.
I'm looking at a lynch mob
at the meeting.
- Actually, allegations could save you.
- What are you talking about?
If Donegan's actions
were so outrageous...
...they were outside
of his employment...
...as a pilot for Trans-Sky Airlines,
they can't be held liable...
...which gets Trans-Sky
dismissed from the case.
Puts the whole thing on Donegan.
Only one problem.
There's no witness...
...who saw Donegan
with the flight attendant.
There's always a witness.
You just have to know their price.
Jared!
- What?
- I was on... They...
The pilot in trouble.
Fire! Towering Inferno.
Excuse me.
Look how much bigger this is than my...
Law books. You must be so smart.
Do you want something?
I want you to pull the plug on your
"throw Donegan under the bus" plan.
Give us the room for a second?
- Thank you.
- Take five, guys.
Me and the president are gonna rap.
Seems that someone forgot to shut off
the video to Pindar last night.
We heard everything.
Now, from what I understand...
...you were exploiting
the emotional state of a senior partner.
- Hanna's boyfriend.
- Hanna's trying to rekindle something...
...went on
before we worked at the firm.
Unlike you, I recognise that workplace
relationships are inappropriate.
They're even actionable.
Obviously, Hanna's acting out.
There definitely
was some role-playing.
- Pindar saw everything.
- Is that right?
- He's willing to testify.
- Really?
Well, that's interesting, because I
heard that Pindar doesn't get out much.
You can't testify
as to what Pindar heard...
...because that would be hearsay.
That would be hearsay.
We'll be making the motion
to dismiss the airline today.
- You don't have a witness.
- Oh, no, actually, we do.
Barry Stone, Donegan's co-pilot.
He saw him leave the flight deck
right before the crash.
- How much are you paying him?
- Please.
- Count on Pindar being there.
- I look forward to it.
And by the way, if you say anything
to Donegan about communications...
...between me and my client,
I'll have you and Bash disbarred.
Like that ever scares us.
- Hey, where's Infeld?
- Out of pocket for the day.
Damn it.
Oh, you.
Did you come over to get
back at Karp, or to feed him intel?
I like you.
I wouldn't have come over if I didn't.
Sorry you felt used.
Hey, you can use me for sex
anytime.
But if you used me
to screw over Tommy Donegan...
...you and I got bigger problems.
Aren't you supposed to just shadow?
I don't shadow. I cast shadows.
And Tommy Donegan
is a part of that airline.
I was going...
You cannot continue to lead a 2D
existence and work at this firm.
I need 3D Pindar in court today!
Or those dicks will take Donegan down.
They teach a class on me at the
psychiatric institute in Zurich, Jared.
Zurich.
I have a phobia. Phobias.
- Phobias? Phobium?
- You know what? I got a cure.
Repeated blows to your head...
...with your bronze Darth Maul statue
if you are not in court by 1.
You hear me? Do you...? Pindy!
So it was strictly business
between you and Annie Benton?
I mean, you'd pay her
and she'd humiliate you?
- Objection.
- Perhaps the district attorney...
...isn't familiar
with sadomasochism...
...after all her repressed
years in Gamma Pi.
I'm not proud of my behaviour.
Well, we're all pretty bizarre.
Some of us are just better at hiding it...
...that's all.
- Did I say something funny?
- No. No.
Actually, you said something stolen.
Emilio Estevez, The Breakfast Club.
That was his line.
It's my favourite movie.
Yours too, right?
Along with Wedding Crashers,
Gremlins and Yentl.
Yeah. I guess.
You would discuss cinema
in between lashes of her barbed whip?
And I'm not judging.
- No.
- Yeah.
Sounds more like pillow talk
between two people in love.
Don't you think?
You know what? I don't know.
Well, of course you don't know.
I mean, no one really knows.
But these photos
don't prove an absence of love.
But what is love?
Giving someone a foot rub every night,
even though you think feet look weird...
...and you'd just as soon
not be reminded people have them?
That sounds like love.
Or writing an entire rock opera with...
Maybe the music borrowed from Rent,
but the lyrics were all yours.
That would probably qualify
as proof of love.
- Or having an airplane trail a banner...
- All right, Mr. Bash.
Is there a question
coming any time soon?
Absent tangible proof, how would you
prove you loved your husband?
I didn't mean a question for me.
I know what I'd do.
I'd look into their eyes.
That's where the truth is.
Mr. Porter, I want you to look my client
in the eyes, and I want you to answer:
Are you now, or have you ever been,
in love with Annie Benton?
No. No, I've never loved her.
- No further questions, Your Honour.
- Thank you, Mr. Bash.
We will take a short break
and reconvene at 2:00.
Come on, Pindar. You can do this.
Good boy. Let's do this.
Let's go to court.
Oh, God.
Mr. Stone's testimony
concerning Mr. Donegan...
...leaving the flight deck
with Ms. Salazar...
...combined with Mr. Donegan's
shoddy employment record...
...replete with
instances of reckless behaviour...
...leaves the court with no choice...
...but to dismiss
Trans-Sky Airlines from the case.
I don't think
that could have gone any better.
Barry, what the hell?
Tommy, we tried to stop it.
You know, you guys pretend
that you're not like the other guys...
...but you're just like them.
He testifies and you're fired.
How do you feel?
Bryant must have
backed up the truck to pay off Stone.
Small price to save your company.
Is this who we are now?
Just big-footing the little guy?
- We can't let them do this.
- Yeah. We have to plant our flag.
Let them know this is not
how we do it.
I say we saddle up. Ride to the
Trans-Sky shareholders' meeting.
Take the fight to them.
Love it. Let's ride.
- I can't. Gotta get back to court.
- What?
I'll get there as soon as I can.
- Don't just stand there. Like the wind.
- Like the wind. All right.
Okay.
Okay, no, I got it. Got it.
Okay, so Jared's on his way...
...to the Trans-Sky shareholders'
meeting at the airport.
Look, Pindar, you can still do this.
I tried. You saw what happened.
Oh, God. Don't remind me.
Look, I experienced that
with all five senses.
Pindar, Jared and Peter
took a chance with us.
Do you think there's a lot of law firms
that would hire an ex-con...
...and an agoraphobe
who is terrified of birds?
Have you ever really looked at one?
They have weird faces.
Eyes on the side of their head.
How can they see in front of them?
They're descended from dinosaurs.
They're tiny velociraptors.
Pindar, we both owe them.
But today they needed you.
- Demons of the sky.
- You let them down.
Hi. Excuse me.
Stanton. I need to speak with you.
Yes, yes, thank you.
I got your messages.
Apparently, a man can't have
a poppy-seed colonic...
- ... without the whole world calling.
- Hey. What are you two doing here?
Celebrating Trans-Sky's victory.
Same as you.
I wonder if you told Stanton
how you won the case.
- I want him out of here.
- All right, look.
- What's going on here?
- Nothing much. Suborning perjury.
Sacrificing an innocent client
to benefit a more important one.
What does a guy have to do to get
one of those little pizza thingies?
- Just ask, buddy.
- Hey, thanks.
- How'd it go?
- Rocked the closing. Jury's out.
Stanton, these two clowns are hurting
the firm and ruining your name.
Ruining your name? Your nephew cut
Donegan loose without consulting you.
Your fat-cat client over there paid off
a witness to testify against Donegan.
I'm paying you guys
$850 an hour for this?
If you have proof of any of this,
why didn't you present it in court?
- Well, it wasn't...
- It wasn't us.
...actually us who heard
or saw the incident in question.
But it was Pindar, and, well, he's...
Hello. My name is Pindar Singh.
Thank you for your attention.
I bear disturbing news
about Trans-Sky management.
It is with a great deal of regret...
...that I must avouch to you
that your leaders...
- Pindar!
- ... have...
We want Tommy Donegan hired back,
Trans-Sky to release a statement...
...confirming he's an American hero.
Now, you hired us because we
reminded you of you and your partner...
...when you first started.
See, the question is...
...what would you have done
when you were us?
You do whatever you have to do.
I want to hear what Pindar has to say.
You got it.
- Wilfully and...
- No!
Deal.
Just tell that freak
to step away from the podium.
You know, you better hire yourself
another lawyer.
We're getting
out of the scumbag business.
And I'll talk to you later.
Awesome.
Ta-ta.
I'm gonna find the bar.
- Well...
- Look...
...I'm not sure why you decided
to work here...
...instead of go work
for your father's firm.
Not even sure that you're sure,
but I'm just glad you're here.
Oh, Peter,
I'm glad I don't have a daughter.
- I'd better check on Pindar.
- Yeah.
The fact
you won't sleep with Hanna...
...because it violates
some Victorian ethical code...
...makes me respect you a little.
But mostly, I'm just glad
because I still got a shot.
You got no shot.
I got a shot.
- Pindy.
- Hey, Peter.
I took the bus. I took the bus.
Hey, buddy.
We are so proud of you.
- It smelt like yoghurt...
- You won the case for us.
...and sex.
- Think you can let go of the podium?
- I do not.
- The verdict's in on Annie's case.
- Go, go, go. I got this.
Hey, tell Janie I say hi.
In the above entitled action
on the sole count of prostitution...
...we find the defendant not guilty.
Thank you.
- I'm so happy for you.
- Appreciate it.
Peter, can we talk?
- Five minutes?
- Yeah.
Bash.
- I'm sorry.
- For what?
The can of whup-ass I unleashed.
Oh, that makes you, what,
one for 10 against me now?
One for 14, actually.
I may not win
now that you're with the big boys.
Congrats on the gig.
- Never thought I'd see the day.
- Well, thanks.
- You wanted to talk?
- I do.
Oh, see, I love those two words
coming out of your mouth.
Well, you're gonna hear them again.
Peter, I'm engaged.
I wanted you to hear it
coming from me.
I appreciate you telling me.
I mean, really? Engaged?
- Yeah.
- That's great. That's great.
- You're okay?
- Yeah.
- Good.
- Yeah. I'm fine.
- Yeah.
- Great. Right. Yeah. Good.
Wait.
I still got a shot.
Peter Bash.
Alan, can I get a number four
for Peter?
All right. How about winning not one,
but two cases today, huh?
Hey, that's a good year for us.
You okay?
You get a date
with Scarlett Johansson.
Don't joke about Scarlett. Ever.
One night, but there's a catch.
Doesn't matter. Nothing could keep me
from Scar Jo. Nothing. Go.
Mike Tyson has to punch you
in the face one time.
- Hard?
- Right cross, full force.
It 1980s Tyson
or crying-on-Oprah Tyson?
Eighties Tyson.
Chance to sleep with the most
beautiful woman in the world.
And a chance to live in a coma
the rest of your life.
Can I have the sex first
and then the punch?
Sorry.