Fraggle Rock (1983–1987): Season 2, Episode 17 - Fraggle Wars - full transcript

[upbeat music playing]

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Work your cares away

I Dancing's for another day

I Let the Fraggles play

We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red!

“Whoopee!
Wowee!

Ooh, a Fraggle!



[chuckles] Look, Ma. I got a Fraggle!

Argh!

Whoopee!

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

Down in Fraggle Rock.

[woofing]

That Shimmelfinney!

I've had it with him
and his practical jokes!

Just look what he put
on the front seat of my car.

[exclaims]
Yuck! It's disgusting, isn't it?



That man has the strangest sense of humor!

Where's his dignity, his compassion,
his concern for how other people feel?

[laughs] Just what I need.

Oh, Ned, could I see you for a moment?

I'm gonna get him now.

I'l pretend to shake hands,
and then I'l

-[device buzzes)
-Zap him with this.

[howling]

Me angry with you, Ned? Of course not.

I just want to give your hand
a neighborly shake.

[exclaims]

[laughing]

Isn't this great? I bet we've gone farther
than any Fraggle has gone before.

Oh, I'm sure we have.

Even farther than, um... Gobo.

What does Gobo have to do
with our camping trip?

Oh, nothing. Nothing.

It's just maybe not such a coincidence

that while Gobo's exploring
the Golden Grotto,

we are exploring
in the opposite direction.

You know, Mokey,

sometimes I think you know more
about why I do things than I do.

[giggles]

Oh, no.

I just know more about why I do things.

Anyhow, I figure all Fraggles
are pretty much the same.

How can you say that?

There are so many
different kinds of Fraggles.

Ah! On the outside, maybe,
but not on the inside. [yawning]

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

Are you saying that
I'm the same as Boober?

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah! [exhaling]

That is nuts!

Could you imagine Boober
deciding to travel this far?

He wouldn't do it for anything.

Oh... he might surprise you.

[Mokey yawning]

Oh, Mokey.

Just when I think you know everything,
I realize you don't make any sense at all.

[Mokey snoring]

[music playing]

Red, Red!

[Red snoring]

What...

Hmm!

Hmm?

What is that?

I Worry, rant, and rave I

I No time now for being brave ♪

♪ Order's what we crave

I Down in Fraggle Cave }

Fraggle Cave?

Hmm?

I don't understand.

[crowd chanting] Order!

Order!

[Mokey] Why, they're Fraggles!

[chanting continues] Order!

Gee, this is strange.

I don't know anyone.

[crowd] Order!

[Mokey] Hello! [giggles]

[crowd exclaiming]

[Mokey] Gee, don't be afraid.

[chuckles] I'm just a Fraggle like you.

[Fraggle] Better get her.
Don't let her leave.

Better get her.

[Mokey] Wait. Ha! Just...

Excuse me.

[gasps]

[gasping]

All I did was say hello.

[Red] Hey, Mokey, you awake?

Mokey?

Oh, she better not be off
having fun without me!

Mokey!

You know, I really think
there's been some sort of a mistake here.

Hey! You can't do that!

[Mokey] Ah! Thank you.

That's what I've been
trying to telling them.

You can't guard a prisoner
without weapons.

[Fraggle] Ah, yeah, right, right.

[whining] Red, where are you?

Mokey, where are you?

[crowd chanting] Prisoner! Prisoner!

Prisoner!
What?

[crowd] Prisoner! Prisoner!

Prisoner! Prisoner!

Oh!

Prisoner! Prisoner!

Prisoner! Prisoner!

Um, could somebody please tell me
why you're doing this?

We're not permitted
to speak to enemy Fraggles.

-Enemy Fraggles?
-Mmm-hmm.

There's no such thing.

Then why do you think
you're being kept in this cage?

-Uh... Oh.
[crowd] Prisoner!

[horn blaring]

[Red] Hey, everybody, listen! Listen.

This is terrible! This... [scoffs]

Quiet!

[Fraggle] Shh!

-Something terrible has happened!
-[Fraggles exclaiming]

Mokey's been taken prisoner
by enemy Fraggles.

Come on, Red, there's no such thing
as enemy Fraggles.

Oh, yeah? Well, what would you call
Fraggles that lock you up in a cage?

[Fraggles exclaiming]

Well, just tell us where she is,
and we can go get her.

-[Fraggles agreeing]
-There are too many of them!

What if they don't let her go?

Is it possible?

Alot of horrible things are possible.

Get out of my way!

Go on, get out of my way!

Allright, Red Fraggle,
just what have you been up to?

Well, Mokey and I went camping,

and I wanted to explore a place
that no one had ever been before.

Then, now my best friend's behind bars!

I knew it! You found
those other Fraggles, didn't you?

Yeah.

-I was afraid this would happen someday.
What? What? What?

War.

[all] War?

Wait a minute.
There's no such thing as war.

[Fraggle] Yeah.
That's just an old Fraggle tale.

Oh, yeah. A very old Fraggle!

[Fraggles laughing]

You wouldn't laugh if you'd seen
what they were doing to Mokey.

-[Fraggle] Lunchtime!
[all murmuring in excitement]

Are you all crazy?

We're talking about something
alot more important than lunch.

Listen to me.

We've got to do something
to stop those fiends.

They've got Mokey now,
but any one of us could be next.

It could be you!

[Fraggles exclaiming]

I In their dank and smelly lair §

I They hoisted her into the air }

I wasn't even sure she was alive }

[Fraggles exclaiming]

I They hung her by her ankles high ♪

7 A blindfold stretched across her eyes

I They jeered and chanted at her
As she writhed

[Fraggles exclaiming]

I And, oh, to watch her squirm

I It made my stomach tum

I You wouldn't want to laugh again
Too soon ♪

I If it happened to you

Well, that Fraggle's making
alot of sense.

I They're not the same as you and me

I Their kind just lives for cruelty

I They never laugh
They never even smile }

It's in their blood
It's in their veins ♪

I And gurgles through
Their twisted brains ♪

I They're wild and nasty
Vicious, mean, and vile }

I Have you ever had a dream §

♪ That made you want to scream?

[Fraggles] Yeah.

I Imagine if that dream
Had all come true ♪

I And it happened to you }

And you, and you, and you, and you.

It could happen to you }

Allright, so you know
what this means, don't you?

We can go rescue Mokey!

This means war!

[Fraggles] War! War!
-[Red] No!

[Doc laughing]

There are great practical jokes
in here, Sprocket!

Oh, you don't approve
of practical jokes, eh?

Well, Shimmelfinney started it,
and all could do is get even.

That's why I wish I could have
seen his face this moming

when he drove off,

when he discovered
I tied a bunch of tin cans

-to the back of his car.
-[Sprocket growling]

Oh, come on, Sprocket,
you know that's funny. [chuckles]

[car approaches]
-That must be Shimmelfinney right now.

He's probably ready to admit
that I've beaten him at his own game.

[Sprocket sighs]

[car door closes)

Came over to call it quits,
eh, Shimmelfinney?

[cackling]

Shimmelfinney, this means war.

[Sprocket] Mmm!

In a war, you have a bunch of Fraggles
on one side

who hate a bunch of Fraggles
on the other side.

[Fraggles exclaiming]

Why?

Why what?

Why do we have to hate the other Fraggles?

Because you can't have a war without hate,
that's why.

But, but... what if there's no reason
to hate them?

Well, of course there is a reason.
They've got Mokey.

Mokey? What has she got to do with this?

Those other Fraggles
are holding her prisoner!

I know that!

They might be torturing her right now

while we're sitting around
twiddling our tails!

All right, well, then, follow me,

the only Fraggle capable of leading us
in this terrible time.

Are the facilities satisfactory, prisoner?

Of course they're not!

What?

But I'm following all the rules
in the Fraggle Security Manual,

chapter three, section seven
on the care and feeding of prisoners.

Yes, well, I'm really sorry
to be the one to have to tell you this,

but, you know,
there is absolutely nothing satisfactory

about being blindfolded
and locked in a cage!

Oh!

Gee, when you put it that way,
it sounds pretty awful.

Itis awful!

It's the worst thing
that ever happened to me.

Oh, well...

This makes me feel terrible.

Um, I could think of something
that would make you feel better.

What's that?

-Let me take this blindfold off.
-Oh, no, no. I couldn't do that.

No, no, no, you know,
section five, chapter 12

Would you forget all that, please!
Couldn't you just do it to be nice, huh?

Well, I guess...

I guess it wouldn't hurt.

Oh, oh!

Ah, I can see!

Whoopee!

[Fraggles gasping]

Please, you're going
to have to watch your language.

Well, what do you mean? Why?

We don't think it's nice to use...

that word.

Um...

What word?

You know.

The "W" word.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

You mean, um... Um...

“Whoopee!
[all gasping]

[sighs] Having a prisoner
is going to be a lot more difficult

than I thought it would.

Well, I had hoped this day
would never have to come.

[Red sighs]

[sighs] But I guess it has,
50 let's get going.

Hup, two, three.

What exactly happens in a war?

Well, Wembley, I think you have to hurt
other Fraggles on purpose.

But I don't want to do
something like that.

Wait.

Couldn't we just have
a Fraggle bake-off instead?

We're not going to be able to save
Mokey with pies, Booher.

Come help me move this rock.

Come on, get in here. Hurry up.
Hurry it up.

Okay. [grunting]

[grunting]

Get it up.

[all straining]

Oh!

Whats it?

It's something cruel and fierce
and terrible, young Fraggle.

I always knew something like this
would happen.

This is a weapon.

[all gasping]

-A weapon?
What's it for?

Destruction.

[all gasping]

Well, I suppose it's all right
for you Fraggles to have some fun,

but I want you to pick up rocks
the minute the break is over, okay?

Oh, uh, yoo-hoo, security Fraggle.

Yes, what is it, prisoner?

Um, I was just wondering, uh...

Do those Fraggles really think
dusting is fun?

Well, of course. Isn't it obvious?

No. No, it's not.

Well, what do you Fraggles do for fun?

Oh, well, we tell jokes, play games,
sing, dance, swim, you know.

Ugh! You've got to be kidding.

[chuckles] Listen.

I know there are lots of ways
of having fun,

but, um... how come you never laugh?

Laugh?

I'm sorry. Have I said
something wrong again?

I mean, you do laugh, don't you?

-Do we laugh?
-Hmm.

I What a funny world it is I

♪ The world is full of funniness ♪

I We laugh at how much fun itis

I As you can see ♪

I Every morning when we wake ♪

I Our funny bones begin to ache

I We count the times we shake and quake ©

I With tee hee hee!?

I When somebody goes ah-choo

I It makes us think of running shoes ♪

I Or else the sum of two plus two ©

I And ho ho ho! }

I Ha ha ha!?

I Heh heh heh! I

I Hee hee hee! I

I Did you hear the one about

I The person who went walking out ♪

I And then he came back home again? ♪

I Ha ha ha!?

7 Stop me if you heard this one

I met a man who had a son ♪

I He also had a daughter, too

♪ Hoo hoo hoo! I

I When we see the setting sun ♪

I It makes us think of eating buns

7 And of the number 317

I And ho ho ho! }

I Ha ha ha!?

I Heh heh heh! I

I Hee hee hee! I

I What a funny world it is I

♪ The world is full of funniness ♪

I We laugh at how much fun itis

I As you can see ♪

I Every morning when we wake ♪

I Our funny bones begin to ache

I We count the times we shake and quake ©

I With tee hee hee!?

I Heh heh heh! I

I Ha ha ha!?

I Hoo hoo hoo! Ha ha ha!

Heh ha!

Whoopee!

[Fraggles] Oh!

Remember, my fellow Fraggles,

-we will be victorious.
“Whoo!

We will be triumphant.

-Don't forget about Mokey.
We will be Mokey!

That doesn't make any sense.

No, I mean, don't forget
that Mokey is why we're doing this.

Leave commanding these troops to me,
Red Fraggle.

I don't think you know
what you're talking about.

Glory is our destiny, my fellow Fraggles,
supremacy, our dream.

What do you think about individual quiches
for our first meal on the road?

All right, you lily-livered pebble heads!

Let's fallin!

Fallin! Fall in!

This isn't a picnic we're going on.

-I couldn't have said it better myself.
Red grunts]

[Red] Let's move out. Left face!

Forward, march!

Hup, two, three, four!

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait minute. You forgot the weapon.
We can't have a war without a weapon.

You see, art is often the expression
of an inner voice.

Not just the beauty around us, but--

I don't think I have an inner voice.

Oh, of course you do.

You just have to listen.

[stomach growling]

I think I hear something.

No, no. That was my lunch.

There will be no fratemizing
with the prisoner.

Nope.

If you don't mind.

This is war!

War? What are you talking about?

Excuse me.

You see, this is the cave's
oldest Fraggle,

and she remembers the time

when you Fraggles and us Fraggles
decided to become enemies forever.

Oh, I don't believe it!

Well, I don't remember it exactly,

-but I know it's true.
Mmm.

Oh, excuse me.

[clears throat] That's why
we captured you.

Now, if you would be so kind
as to scoot over there,

I will interrogate the prisoner.

Interrogate! This is ridiculous.

Ooh, you mind your manners, young Fraggle.

Excuse me.

I think you should do what she says.
Hmm, yeah.

Whoa!

All right.

-Much better, Beige.
-[Mokey sighs]

Qut with it!

Remember, the enemy is ruthless and cruel.

He'll stop at nothing
to get what he wants.

Hup, two, three, four!

Hup, two, three!

Hup, two, three, four!

My name is Mokey Fraggle.
I gather radishes in the Gorgs' garden.

I am not now, nor have I ever been,
a spy for the enemy Fraggles.

-Again!
[sighs]

My name is Mokey Fraggle.

We've spotted them!

What were they doing?

-Spotting us.
-Those monsters.

What do we do now?

Rescue Mokey!

No, we'll wait until dawn,
and then we'll attack.

That's the way these things are done.

Again.

Oh, please.

Listen, I promise you,
my Fraggles are not trying to attack you.

-Maybe she's telling the truth.
-Of course, I'm telling the truth!

My Fraggles believe in sharing
and friendship and peace and love.

Death and destruction!
The enemy Fraggles are here!

-But-
-They'll probably attack at dawn.

That's how these things are done.

But... Oh, Beige.

Oh!

This has simply got to be a mistake.

I wish it was true, Mokey, but--

Um, sorry.

We are not permitted
to speak to prisoners.

[snoring]

[Red] I still don't understand

why we fought with those other Fraggles
in the first place.

Well, as I remember it,

those other Fraggles
had no sense of humor.

Yeah. And what else?

What do you mean, what else?

I mean, why did we hate them enough
to build a weapon?

Oh, that's what I'm telling you.

They didn't laugh at radish jokes,
they didn't laugh at gourd jokes,

they didn't even laugh at jokes
about Fraggles who ate their socks.

I can't believe this.

Wait, let me tell you the worst part.

They thought the funniest thing

about a Fraggle getting hit
in the face with a pie

was having to clean it all up!

Oh, there's got to be more to it
than that.

Nope. That's it.

But how can you go to war
over not liking the same jokes?

Well, it's as good a reason as any.

-[snores)
-Huh?

This is outrageous!

I'm going to go in there
and get Mokey myself

before anybody has to get hurt. [grunts]

Somebody let me out.

Please.

I Sunlight and shadow 7

I An oak tree's bravado ♪

1 And rivers that race to the sea I

♪ Puffballs and fireflies ♪

I And larks in the sunrise ♪

7 All know a way to be free

I And here's to their roaming

I Here's to their homing

I Ah, but I wish it was me

I Pity a soul that's not free

I Ants have a highway I

I And birds have a skyway?

I And winds can go wandering far

See how they climb ♪

7 In the mercy of time ♪

I And they don't know how lucky they are I

I And here's to their roaming

I Here's to their homing

I Ah, but I wish it was me

♪ Sit for a moment

I And pity a soul

♪ That's not free I

Oh, poor Mokey.

I've got to get her out of there.

I've got to get her out of there!
I've got to

Mokey?

-Oh!
-Oh!

Oh! Isn't this nice!

-Beige, this is Red.
-Red, Beige.

Well, uh, don't just stand there.
[chuckles]

-Say hello.
Well--

How could you put my best friend
in a cage, you crazy Fraggle?

Crazy? I'm crazy?

Oh, what are you doing here with an army,

-you, you, you brutal Fraggle?
-[Mokey growls]

Brutal?
-Yeah.

But I don't want to hurt anybody,
I just want to help Mokey.

Oh, that's what I want, too.

You mean, you don't want a war?

[Beige] No. Do you?

[Red] No way!

[crowd chanting] War!

Uh, excuse me.

Isn't this great?
Beige doesn't want to fight.

Yeah, that's really nice.

Yeah, there's no reason
to have a war at all.

No!

You know, I'm really glad
both of you feel that way,

but don't you think you should
convince the others?

[Red and Beige exclaiming]

What do we do?

I've got an idea.

What everyone needs
is a really good laugh!

-Yeah.
-Right!

-Yeah! Come on.
-Okay.

We'll show them a thing or two about war.

Did you hear that?
Load a rock into that weapon.

We'll hit first, and talk later.

Get me a rock for that weapon.

We'll show them
what real Fraggles are made of. [coughs]

We've got 100 rocks here,
you mean and nasty Fraggles!

We've got 101,
you dull and funless Fraggles!

Yeah. One, two, three!

What?

[laughing]

[Red] Hey, Beige!
We did it. We stopped the war.

All the Fraggles are laughing
at the same thing.

[laughing]

Whoopee!

Oh, hey, everybody.

Hey, haven't you forgotten something, huh?

-Don't worry, Mokey, I'm here.
Red!

-Oh, thank goodness.
-Oh!

-Oh, Red!
-Oh, Mokey!

See? All Fraggles are alike.

They all laugh.

Do you think it was something we said?

Oh, yes.

Look at this, Sprocket.

Peach pie, apple pie,

blueberry pie, chocolate cream pie.
What do you think of that?

[Sprocket] Mmm.

Shimmelfinney's going to get
apie in the face

every time he walks out his door.

-[woofing]
Well, what am I supposed to do?

He started the practical joke war,
and I'm going to finish it.

That's the way these things are.

What are you doing?

You're so against me hitting Shimmelfinney
with a pie in the face,

you'd leave me?

But you don't even
like Shimmelfinney! [grunting]

Well, if it's that important to you...

[woofs]

Yeah, well, you're right.

It's just that when he played a joke,

I had to play a bigger joke,
and before we knew, we just couldn't stop.

Oh, I'm going to forget the whole thing.

What am I going to do with all these pies?

[Sprocket gasps]

[barking]
Huh?

Of course! I'l call Shimmelfinney
and invite him over to a party.

Whoo-hoo!

[music playing]

[scatting]

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪