Fraggle Rock (1983–1987): Season 2, Episode 13 - Red's Club - full transcript

[upbeat music playing]

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Work your cares away

I Dancing's for another day

I Let the Fraggles play

We're Gobo, Mokey, Wembley, Boober, Red!

“Whoopee!
Wowee!

Ooh, a Fraggle!



[chuckles] Look, Ma. I got a Fraggle!

Argh!

Whoopee!

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

Down in Fraggle Rock.

I'm afraid he's going to be
very disappointed.

[barking]
-Oh, no. Of course, I understand.

And thank you for calling, Mister...
Yes, certainly. Good-bye.

Well, Sprocket, I'm afraid
I have some bad news.

Remember your application for membership
to the Top Dog Club?



It was rejected.

Now, listen, old fella.
We knew it was gonna be difficult.

The Top Dog Club
is a very exclusive organization.

-[whimpers]
-You have to have a pedigree to belong.

Huh? No, that's not your pedigree.
That's your dog license.

Besides, who wants to be a member
of an organization

full of pampered poodles
and little yap-yaps?

Besides, a club for dogs is silly, anyway.

[growls]
-Okay, so it's not silly.

But it's also not the end of the world.

[howling]

Well, Sprocket, if you're so determined
tobe ina club,

why don't you just start one of your own?

[barks]

You could be president, naturally.
We could call it the Underdog Club.

[barking in excitement]

[chuckles I'm sorry my idea
wasn't met with more enthusiasm.

Okay, let's make up
alist of members, right?

[barking]

[Fraggles clapping]

I love this game.
Who will I challenge first? Mokey!

I One and one and one are three
Can you sing as high as me? ♪

7 One and one are only two
I can sing as high as you!

-I Higher
-I Higher

I Higher?

I'm the one that won.

-Now, Boober!
-Oh, no.

I One and one and one are three
Can you hop as high as me??

7 One and one are only two
I'can hop as high as you!

-I Higher
-I Higher

I Higher?

I'm the one that won.

Um, Wembley.

Okay.

I One and one and one are three
Can you run as fast as me? I

7 One and one are only two
I can run as fast as you ♪

-0 Faster, faster?
-0 Faster, faster?

-0 Fast, fast, fast?
-! Fast, fast, fast?

♪ Fast fast, fast, fast, fast ♪

I'm the one that won.

Okay, Gobo, you're next.

I One and one and one are three
Can you laugh as hard as me? ♪

7 One and one are only two
I can laugh as hard as you I

[both laughing]

[Red laughing heartily]

I'm the one that won.

Come on, everybody, let's play that again.

No, Red, we're all kind of tired.

How about playing a nice quiet game
of Paint a Song?

Oh, that's a good idea, Gobo.

Yeah, I could use a little therapy.

[both sighing]

But, but...

[sighs]

Why is it that no one ever does
what I want to do?

-[chuckles] What do you want to do, Red?
[all laughing]

Not fair. I'm just as good as Gobo
at being the leader.

Oh, great idea.
Let's play Follow the Leader.

[laughing]
“Who'll be the leader?

It's my turn to be the boss.

-Okay, Red's the leader.
-Okay.

[laughing]

Now and then, I ought to decide
which game to play.

Why is it always Gobo, Gobo, Gobo?

Gobo, Gobo, Gobo.

-Gobo, Gobo, Gobo.
-Gobo, Gobo, Gobo.

Hey, Red, you're a great leader.

lam?

Well, yeah. You know, if there was a club,
and you were the leader,

I'd join in a minute.

Me, too.
Me, too.

Me, too.

That's it. Il start a club.

[in unison] A club? Great idea, Red.

And I'l be the leader.

And then everybody who belongs
will do what I want to do,

including, and especially, Gobo.

-Yeah.
-Come on, follow me.

Follow me.

Uh, follow me.
-Yeah, follow me.

Cotterpin Doozer,
if you climb up there, you'll get stuck.

But, Architect, I've got to see this tower
from another angle.

It's of professional importance.

Haven't you ever heard of a forklift?

But a forklift can't get me high enough.

Don't worry. I'm a good climber.

Well, if you can't get down,
don't come crying to me for help.

Oh, I'm getting too old
for these shenanigans.

There. Well, I've finished my picture.

Hey, how about if now I read my postcard
from Uncle Traveling Matt?

-Oh, yeah. Great idea!
Yeah.

I've just thought
of the first rule for the club.

No more listening to postcards
from Uncle Matt.

Hey, but I like Uncle Matt's cards.

Oh, well, in that case, I guess
you just can't be in the club.

Rules are rules.

Whatever you say, boss.

[stutters] What?

Everybody ready? "Dear Nephew Gobo..."

[Matt] On my recent journeys,
I came upon a very powerful cave.

A cave that could actually
control small creatures.

How? By ringing.

When the silly creatures
heard the ringing,

they turned and entered the large cave.

I decided to follow,
but when [ entered the cave,

the tunnels were empty.

Obviously, the cave had told
the silly creatures

-{o disappear completely.
[bell ringing]

Then suddenly,
the cave started to ring again.

The silly creatures obeyed the call
and appeared out of nowhere.

Say, I... Och. Uh, excuse me.

Uh, yes, Traveling Matt here.

[ringing]

The silly creatures paid no attention
to me.

They only heeded the ringing of the bell

1 know, from experience,
that silly creatures are hard to control.

It's clear
that ringing caves are very powerful.

"Love, your Uncle Traveling Matt."

[sighs]

Is it over yet?

Uh, wait here.

Oh, go for it, Red! [laughing]

Uh, hi, everyone, are you bored,
listless, wondering what to do next?

Not really, Red.

I've got an idea
that will solve all your problems.

You can join my club.

A club? Oh, Red, what a cohesive idea.

-Yeah,
-Yeah, let's start a club.

Wait a minute. I've already got a club.

-I'm the leader and--
-Of course.

Uh, the first thing we must do is decide
what our noble purpose should be.

Noble purpose?

We could rid the world of germs.
That would be noble.

-Germs?
-Oh, yes, Boober.

But, uh, do you think that germs
could relate to being a purpose?

-[Red sighs]
-You'd rather they were members?

Look, just forget the noble purpose.
I'l just make up the rules and--

Wait. Wait. I've got it. I've got it.

The first rule of our club
will be to help one another.

Don't we always do that?

I like it. A helping club would be perfect
for those of us in constant need.

You're right.
A helping club is a great idea.

The leader could be called
the High Helper.

Wonderful.
We must now choose a High Helper.

Good idea.

As founder
of this great and noble organization,

I think our only choice
for a High Helper is

Gobo!

Gobo. Of course.

Oh, Red, you're so perceptive.

I vote for Gobo.

Gobo?

There. It's unanimous.
Gobo is High Helper.

[stutters] What?

Well, if you insist on electing me,
then I accept.

Uh, do you object, Red?

Object? No, I don't object. I quit!

Hey, listen, Red--

I'm tired of listening to you.
['l start my very own club.

And the first rule is, I wouldn't let
you and your crummy club help me

if my life depended on it.

Okay, Sprocket.
Here's our list of potential club members.

First name is Binky.

No, we can't have Binky.
She yaps. I can't stand dogs that yap.

First rule of your club is,
no dogs that yap.

That automatically eliminates Fred,
Ginger, Angel, Mortimer, Mugsy, Ralph...

Oh, what about Spud?
No, no, we can't have Spud.

He's too big. One wag of his tail,
all my tools would break.

Another rule of your club, can't have
any big dogs in your club, Sprocket.

[Sprocket sighing]

I call the first meeting
of Red's Helping Club to order.

-To order. To order.
-To order.

The first rule is that nobody in our club
speaks to anybody in Gobo's club.

Why not?

Because it's the rules.
-That's why not.

Red. Oh, Red, I simply have to tell you,

helping is such an intensely personal idea
for a club.

-Speak to them and you're out.
-Mmm-hmm.

Hi, Red. This your club?

Do you know?
So far we have helped 17 Fraggles,

two Rumble Bugs,
and a Moss-billed Flubberduck.

All members. [chuckles]

Uh, 50, anyone here need help?

No, thanks, Mokey, we're fine.

-You broke the rules!
‘What rules?

I guess I can't be in your club anymore,
huh, Red?

Rules are rules.

Hey, Mokey, can we be in Gobo's club, huh?

Well, of course you can.
-Oh, boy.

Uh, I don't suppose I could interest you
in a membership?

[Red scoffs]

No, guess not. [snickering]

Oh, I'l show him.
I'l get more members than he can count.

I've got to find lots of members fast.

If I'can't find lots,
then I'l settle for a few.

If I'can't find a few, I'l take a couple.

How about just one?

[sighs]

Yep, I'm stuck.

Help!
-Oh, boy.

One member of Red's Helping Club
coming right up.

Help!

Oh, help. Oh.

A Doozer?
I can't have a Doozer in my club.

I'm not that desperate.

Would you get me down, please?

I guess I'm that desperate.

-Hey, I remember you.
-'m Cotterpin.

That's right. How are you doing?

Oh, alot better. Thanks.
Thanks for helping me.

Gee, I wish I could do
something for you in return,

but since I'm just a Doozer, well...
[giggles]

Oh, Cotterpin, I've got just the thing.

-You're going to belong to my club.
-Huh?

7 Rule number one is a barrel of fun
‘Cause it tells you what fo do

Yeah.

I When you run, when you walk
When you jump off a rock

-0 You gotta use one foot, not two ♪
-Oh, no, no, no.

♪ Rule number one is a son of a gun
If I walk that way, I fall

1 think, somehow, I remember now ♪

♪ You gotta use both feet
If you're small I

I Everybody take the vow
Everybody bow }

-} Everybody follow me I
-She's the leader.

I I'm the leader, I'm the leader now! }

Okay, another one then.

♪ Now, rule number two is a secret clue
‘Cause it shows who's in the know ♪

I You walk with a wiggle
And you talk with a giggle

-0 And you tie your hair in bows
-Oh, no, no, no.

I Rule number two is a real P.U.
My hair won't tie at all }

1 think, somehow, I remember now ♪

7 You leave it straight if you're small

All right.

I Everybody take the vow
Everybody bow }

-} Everybody follow me I
-She's the leader.

I I'm the leader, I'm the leader now! }

All right, give me another one.

I Now, rule number three
Is a treat to see

-0 ‘Cause it tells you what to say ♪
Yeah.

I When you meet with fools
With different rules ♪

-! You don't breathe a word all day ♪
No way.

I Rule number three is not for me
If I shush, they'll tramp me flat §

I Well, I think, somehow, I remember now §

7 You can talk if you're short and fat §

What?

I Everybody take the vow
Everybody bow }

-} Everybody follow me I
-She's the leader.

I I'm the leader, I'm the leader now! }

You got that?

Uh, maybe we should vote on it.

We're the perfect helping club.
Weare.

And we will not be outdone.

Never.
-Let's get out there and start helping.

-Let's get helping.
-Whoo-hoo! [gasps]

Hi, Red. Found anyone
to join your club yet?

Uh, um...

Actually, I just came by to tell you
we're having so much fun in our club,

-but, well, we miss you, Red.
Huh.

We even had a secret meeting about it.

-Secret meeting?
-Sure. We have those all the time.

Except, see, you have to know
the password fo get in.

Would you like to know the password?

Uh... [sighs]

Okay, be that way.

You heard him.
We have to have a secret meeting, quick.

[grunting]

Okay, I call this secret meeting
of Red's Helping Club to order.

~The first item on our agenda is obvious.
-I don't get it.

We've got to help more club members
than Gobo. We'll show him.

Uh, Red, I hate to bring this up,
but you know our club?

-Mmm-hmm.
Well, you're looking at it.

So lam.

Well, Cotterpin,
to make up for our lack of members,

we'll just have to help each other
as many times as possible.

Oh, yeah? [shrieks]

Hey, what do you~ Hey!

[exclaiming]

Help!
-Gladly.

Oh, thank you.

-That's one. Now, where should I put you?
-Put me down, Red.

Oh, what?

[exclaiming]

Help! Whoa!
-Sure.

That's two, Cotterpin.
You're really great at needing help.

Just wait till the others hear
how much helping we've done.

Help!
[Red] Coming.

Help!
-[Red] I'm here.

[Cotterpin sighs]

There you go, Boober.

Do you realize that this is
the 47th time I've helped you today.

Oh, this is just so fulfilling.

I'm so pleased to know I'm making
such an important contribution.

We just gotta figure out some way
to help Red.

Uh, why? Does Red need help?

She was talking to a basket
when I last saw her.

Uh, sounds like Red needs help.

Um, Wembley, is there something
I can help you with?

Well, uh... [grunts]

[Red] That's 65 times
I've helped you today, Cotterpin.

It's absolutely fantastic.

Oh, I think it's absolutely stupid.

Hey, hey, let's forget about the club
and go listen to some Rumble Hums, okay?

Shh!

-[Gobo] Well, what should we do?
Well, I guess we better help Red.

Listen, they must be having
a secret meeting.

So what?

So, we've got to find out
what they're planning to do next.

[stuttering] Why, for heaven's sakes?

Cotterpin, I've been helping you all day.
Now it's your tum to help me.

Uh-oh.

Either she does have a club,

or she's going through a lot of trouble
to make us think she does.

Oh, but why would she pretend, Gobo?

Hmm. I don't know.
But I get the feeling she'd help a Gorg

if she thought we had,
just to prove that her club could do it.

-[groaning]
- guess we just have to wait it out.

That Red is one stubbom Fraggle.

Ooh! Ah.

-They were talking about helping Gorgs.
[gasps]

What's a Gorg, anyway?

-A Gorg?
-Yeah.

A Gorg is a horrible, scary giant.
A walking mountain.

Oh, how are we ever going to help one?

[chuckles] We aren't gonna do
anything of the kind.

Well, if Gobo's club is going to help
a Gorg, we've got to beat them to it.

-Come on.
-Nothing doing.

But, Cotterpin, I need your help.
You've got to help me. You're in my club.

Not anymore, I'm not.

Wait, Cotterpin. Listen to me.
No.

Red, I am tired of listening to you,

and I'm tired of doing everything
you want to do all the time, too.

But, Cotterpin,
we can't let Gobo's club get ahead.

Our club has got to be the best.

Itis not our club, Red.

Itis your club.

It always has been, and well,
now it always will be, because I quit.

[Red gasps]

[Doc] Well, Sprocket, we've crossed out
dogs that yap, dogs that are too big,

dogs that leap on you when they're happy,
dogs that shed and dogs that eat too much.

It's gonna be a pretty exclusive club,
you know that?

Hey, what about Frank,

that feisty little terrier
down the street?

[howling]

No, no, no. I remem--
Oh, he bit me on the leg once.

You can't have a dog in your club
that's bitten me on the leg, Sprocket.

Now, let's see what we've got here
in the Underdog Club.

We've got one president, that's you,
and one member, that's me.

No?

You mean, I can't be in your club?

“Well, I never.
[barks]

Well, the future of Red's Helping Club
rests with me,

the High Helper and only member.

Oh, I must help a Gorg.

I... I can't wait to see Gobo's face.
So, who'll be leader then, huh?

-I bet they'll all want to join my club.
-I'm the king

-and I can't even get a decent nap.
Uh-oh.

There's some Gorgs now.
I wonder if they need help.

It's just there, stuck about halfway down.

Well, I'l try, my wife and queen.

Oh. Why you had to drop it down the well,
Il never know.

[straining]

-Any luck?
-No.

Oh, dear, my handkerchief,

the one you gave me on our wedding day.

Oh, if you cannot retrieve it,
I will be sad for etemity.

-[Ma Gorg sobbing]
-[Pa Gorg] Oh, no, not again!

-Don't worry, pumpkin. I'l get it.
My hankie!

Uh, well, look, Ma,
there's Junior's fishing line.

Il use it to fish your hankie
out of the well.

-[Ma Gorg exclaiming]
-Oh, it's a brilliant idea!

-You're so clever, my liege. [chuckles]
-[Pa Gorg laughing]

['l'leave you to your task
50 you can concentrate.

[chuckles]

Okay, handkerchief, I command you
fo take hold of that string,

-or else!
[shudders]

Oh, drat and Deuteronomy.

How am I ever gonna get that hankie
out of this blasted well?

[sighing] If only I were this tall,
I could crawl down this string.

If you were this tall, you'd be a Fraggle.

If I were this tall, I'd be a Fraggle.

If only I were a Fraggle.

Uh, you're not a Fraggle but I am.

Why, so you are!

Fraggle, come here this instant.

I just got me another brilliant idea.
[laughing]

No Fraggle's gonna boss me around.

Oh, maybe I shouldn't have quit.
Red could be in big trouble now.

I wonder if Red still needs help.

Oh, how can we help her?
We don't even know where she is.

[Cotterpin clears throaf]

Um, if you're looking
for Miss Red Fraggle--

Yeah?

She's in the garden helping
giant, horrible, walking Gorg mountains.

-Red is helping Gorgs?
-That's what I said.

But you're a Doozer. How do you know?

None of your business.

-I don't believe it.
“What?

A Doozer just told me
that Red is in the Gorgs' garden.

-A Doozer told you?
-That's what I said.

Uh, Gobo, do you need help?

Yeah. I think probably I do, Wembley.
Come on, let's go.

Whoa!

Oh, no wonder Cotterpin quit.
This is not fun.

Oh, there's the handkerchief. [straining]

Well, Fraggle?
-l got it.

Whoo-hoo! Oh, oh. Watch it!

-There she is.
-Oh.

Well done, Fraggle.
You've just proved that I'm brilliant.

Now stay here.
I'l'be back to deal with you in a minute.

-Hey, wait.
-Hey, Red! Hey!

-Gobo!
We've come to rescue you.

You have?

Oh, yes, in the true spirit
of our helping club.

Uh... Uh... Go away.

My club's been helping Gorgs.
I don't need your help.

Could have fooled me.

Gotcha!

[Fraggles shuddering]

One Fraggle's one thing,
but four Fraggles are something else.

Hey, Ma. Ma, find my blunderbuss.

Oh, no.

-Help!
-Help!

Wembley, Boober, you have called.
I must help you.

-Mokey.
[Red] Hey!

Gobo, hook this to the basket. [grunts]

Now, watch out and get ready to run.

Right.

Whoopee!

[screaming]

Let's get out of here.

[Pa Gorg] Ma.

Oh. [screaming]

Drat and Deuteronomy!
The Fraggles have escaped.

Oh, Red. Red, oh, Red.
That was so giving of you.

I mean, our club was there to help you,
and you helped us.

-Yeah, I guess I did.
-So, now, can we join your club?

Well, sure, if you want to.
I only started my club because--

Because you wanted to be High Helper?

Well, yes. Now that you mention it.

Oh, why didn't you say so, Red?

I vote for Red Fraggle as High Helper.

Me, too.
-Gosh.

[clears throat] Okay, fellow members
of Red's Helping Club,

as High Helper,
I will now make up the rules.

-Rules which you must follow.
Right.

So, the first rule is,
no one in this club will be in this club.

What?

Yeah. Who needs a dumb old club
when we've got each other.

Aw, Red!

[all laughing]

[Mokey] But, Gobo, did you see that dive?
It was fantastic.

[Doc] Well, Sprocket, I must admit
it was kind of a blow

when you disqualified me from your club.

Was it just because I'm not a dog?

whines]
“What do you mean, no, not exactly?

[growls]

I see. Well, I guess I did
kind of take over.

I had no right making up all those rules
and eliminating all your members.

All right, all right. I'm sorry.

It just goes to show
if you try to control something too much,

you'll soon end up
with nothing to control.

We should include members,
not exclude them, right?

Okay, we'll have everyone in our club.

All. "Binky, Cassie,
Fred, Ginger, Angie--"

[barks]

"Ralph, Mortimer, Mugsy, Spud, Frank,
Perkins," Fluffinella from next door,

the vet, the paper girl,
the garbage collector, me.

[barking]

Oh, you mean, I can't be in your club?

[growls]

Ah, good!

You know, Sprocket?
We're gonna have a great time.

[music playing]

[scatting]

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Dance your cares away ♪

I Worry's for another day

I Let the music play }

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪

I Down in Fraggle Rock ♪