Four More Shots Please (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode 8 - full transcript
When you let something
simmer for too long,
it will explode.
Emotionally,
physically,
metaphysically.
You're a good boy, Xerxes.
You a good boy or not?
Do you like it here
in Goa?
Are you a good boy?
Are you a good boy
or not?
Are you going to lick me?
Jeh uncle's girlfriend?
No.
Then why are you wearing
his shirt?
Why were you sleeping
in Jeh uncle's room?
'Cause he's my friend?
Ewww...you smell like poo!
Poo! Poo! Poo!
They're right, Xerxes.
I smell.
Can you smell me?
You're always welcome
to shower.
Hi...
Goa suits you.
Does it?
Ya, you look relaxed.
More relaxed than I've
ever seen you before.
Right.
Keep smiling like this.
This whole world's burden...
...that you're carrying...
...will get lighter.
I have permanently
hunched shoulders.
You know...
Got into the habit
when I hit puberty.....
...trying to hide my boobs.
But they're nice boobs.
Why hide them?
Really, Xerxes?
No loyalty?
You really are a dog.
Shut up, guys!
Twenty three years...
...you held on to
your virginity.
And suddenly one night,
against the lighthouse walls...
Bang! Yes baby...
Guys, stop it. Stop it!
-Siddhu got her cherry popped.
Siddhu got her cherry popped.
Siddhu got her cherry popped.
-Okay guys, seriously.
It's not a big deal okay.
I just lost my virginity.
Not like I won an Oscar.
Question is,
did he win one...
...for his performance!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
You guys are actually cray...
-Oh, yeah!
But I love it.
By the way, by removing
the 'Z' from crazy...
...how much time do
you save?
I take the 'O' out of OK
as well.
So it adds up.
Such a child.
But do you know who's
not a child anymore?
Our very own Siddhi.
Now she's a woman.
Okay, enough about me.
What about your girlfriend?
What? What? What?
Mangs has a girlfriend?
Check this out.
-Siddhi...
Look at it.
Samara frickin' Kapoor!
What the fuck!
She's into girls?
Wow! That's...
That's makes her even hotter!
Samara Kapoor?
-Sa...Samara Kapoor?
Oh, my god!
-Mangs!
Okay! Okay! Okay!
- Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- Hymen.
- Hymen who?
Hymen the mood for some
girl-on-girl action...
...with a superstar!
Sids, please!
Don't distract us from
your hymen!
Seriously, why didn't you
tell us before?
And she tells us about
every silly one night stand.
But you hid this from us!
Because like...
She asked you to hide it.
No.
Because...
this time...
...it's just different.
Why?
'Cause she's famous.
No, ya...
'Cause I'm in love with her.
Like proper, proper love?
Yes. And...
I just figured after Pinky...
...I would never have these
intense love feelings.
But once Samara and
I got together...
When I'm with her,
I don't even want to look at
anyone else.
You know, it's so perfect.
Like ice cream and gulab jamun.
(Indian delicacy)
Like jalebi and rabdi.
(Indian delicacy)
Like chana chaval.
(Indian delicacy)
Mangs, you really
are in love...
Ladies, mojitos
made fresh with...
...mint and lemons from
the orchards.
What's up.
-In the house...
...and on the house.
-Thank you.
Excuse me,
fancy cocktails?
What happened to
your rules?
Jeh has changed.
Ya guys...
I mean, this is Goa.
Everything's different here.
Sid...
Your phone.
Oh, thanks.
You don't need it?
No.
Jeh lent me a spare.
Oh.
Sharing bedrooms,
sharing phones.
Sharing clothes,
sharing glances.
Okay, okay.
Guys, guys...
You are all invited to
my parents'...
...fortieth wedding
anniversary celebrations.
-Oh.
-And my mum insists
on sharing the day with
our birthday girl here.
And Anjana,
bring your friend along.
What friend?
Your child!
-Oh!
She forgot about him.
-You forgot!
You forgot about him?
Cheers...
-Cheers to that!
There you are.
Hey...
Come on in.
The water's great.
I'm not falling for that
one again.
Don't you have a pool
in your hotel?
It's filled with noisy kids.
Whoa!
So is this pool.
Yes, but...
You're not in my hotel.
I'm a leech.
Stuck on you.
Bar's open.
Cocktail?
Nice rings...colourful.
Damini!
Over here.
Hi!
-Hi!
Hey!
-Hello...
Hi!
Happy anniversary
Mr and Mrs Wadia.
Thank you.
-Ms D'Costa.
I didn't add Wadia to
my name.
This Wadia is
completely insane!
Okay, Ms D'Costa.
By the way, Damini...
This morning, from
under the blanket,
I could only see
your eyes.
Nice to see you in full
my dear girl.
But really...
Isn't she beautiful?
Yes.
Well done, Jeh.
We had lost total hope
in you.
I'll go get a drink.
-Yes, please.
Mihir is texting.
Why?
Because you guys did it
last night.
He probably does have good
morning-after etiquette?
But if I reply immediately,
he's going to think
I'm really desperate.
Says who?
I read it in a magazine.
Don't chase boys.
Let them do it.
What do you feel like doing?
Oh, no. I don't know.
What if he thinks
I'm some stuck up bitch?
Also, I don't want it to seem
like it's a big deal we had...
...you know.
But if I reply immediately,
he'll think I'm obsessing
over him...
...because he was my first.
And if I don't then,
what if he thinks I hated it?
Not that I hated it,
it's just...
It just wasn't anything like...
...what I'd expected, you know.
It really hurt and that...
...that wall was so cold.
So bored.
What're you doing?
Mohit?
Mohit, stop it! Give it to me.
Mohit! Stop it!
-Invitation sent!
Location sent!
Enjoy.
Today's generation...
...has no patience.
We used to put roses in
our log books...
...for our boyfriends.
For one phone call...
...we used to wait for hours.
To speak with our boyfriend.
Not boyfriend.
I have a girlfriend.
Ooh! Girlfriend!
Speak louder please.
She's a lesbian.
Ooh!
Come, come. Sit here.
Come, come.
Tanaz aunty and Delnaz aunty...
...also did hanky-panky
in the Bharuch house.
So what?
Men.
They are like donkeys.
No brains whatsoever!
Forty five years.
Kaizad never satisfied me!
At first, he used to hurry
through it.
Later, he decided to
slow down.
But he was never able to
catch my speed.
You are very lucky, young lady.
You can live your life openly.
Tanaz aunty and Delnaz aunty...
...committed suicide.
They couldn't live together...
...so they died together.
I love my nipples
to be nibbled!
Oh, God!
I hope you take care of her...
...and she takes care of you.
Ya, we try.
Kaizad and I,
we tried anal sex also.
Very pleasurable.
Naughty girl!
So what!
I don't eat raw food.
Try it.
It's an aphrodisiac.
Apparently so are chocolate
covered strawberries.
But they just make me
put on weight, that's all.
That's because you
have to work it off.
Afterwards.
I am horrible at flirty talk.
At this point,
all I can think of is my...
...sweaty spinning teacher...
...shouting 'Faster! Faster!'
I can make you spin.
And sweat.
While you scream
'Faster! Faster!'
The oyster's still waiting.
Let's do this.
This vodka-cranberry popsicle...
...is the undisputed popsicle
king.
I mean, it is life affirming.
Shows how low your
self-esteem is...
considering you're getting your
affirmations from shaved ice.
I get mine from shaved pubes.
Gross. Thanks!
Oh, God. He's here.
What?
Oh, shit! My popsicle!
Popsicle?
Is that what you call him now?
Mr Cherry Popper?
Mohit, please! Just hide me.
My ass is not that big.
What does he look like?
What?
He's a guy.
Wow. That narrows it down.
Mihir!
-What are you doing?
Mihir!
Mihir! Hey, this way man!
He's cute. In a very banker
sort of way.
Hey, Mihir!
-Horrible!
Hey...
Hey, I dropped my popsicle.
I need another one.
Mihir...
Hi, Mohit.
-Hi...
I'm Siddhi's new bestie.
-Oh, nice.
-Tell me...
Do you really live in
New York...
...or you're just saying
Newark in a hybrid accent?
Sorry, what?
-She's ignoring you.
-Why?
-I call it the MALV syndrome.
-What's that?
Morning After Losing Virginity?
Is the door shut?
Hey, Siddi-Piddi...
Look, about last night...
Okay. This is taking too long.
I changed my mind.
Sorry, I don't want it.
Siddi-Piddi, can we just talk?
I really need to pee.
Fuck!
I have to...
Make a phone call,
get a popsicle,
go pee,
have a snack,
pick some coconut,
save the world,
...stand for President.
-What the hell?
Oh, shit, I'm so sorry.
Prime Minister.
I forgot, the head of state
here is the Prime Minister.
I really have to go.
-You've got...
You've got to be
kidding me, Siddhi...
Shit! Damini...
Don't sell out, Uma.
Please.
It's funny.
You know, all this while
I thought you were on my side.
What are you trying to say?
Out?
From where?
What?
I'm sorry?
You're the one who's been
pushing me!
You can't...
My everything!
You cannot remove me!
Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck
the entire board Uma!
I won't let you do this okay!
I will not let you do this!
Hello!
Uma!
Let's hide here!
Let's hide here!
Let's hide here!
-Shut the door! Shut the door!
Who are you?
This is Aunty Diana's room.
No it's not. It's Jeh's room.
And I've taken his
permission, okay?
This is not a fancy
dress party, okay.
I know that but...
...I have to put on a show.
Now go.
Are you a wicked witch
from a Disney movie?
What?
Sing a song.
Wicked witch song.
Not now. Later. Okay?
Now go.
Sing.
Or I'll call Mom and Dad.
Come here, Jeh.
I think someone's stuck.
I think it's Homai.
She falls now and then.
Homai aunty...
Are you there?
I'll just get the key.
Homai...
"I'm a witch
or I'm an angel..."
"Gonna get you,
gonna get you anyway..."
"I'm a witch
or I'm an angel..."
"Gonna get you,
gonna get you..."
Once more! Once more!
Damini...
Seventy eight...
Seventy nine...
Eighty...
I'm stuck.
I'm stuck, Jeh.
They fired me.
They fucking fired me
from my own company.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Take your time.
I think I'm frozen.
I just have to finish counting
the number of...
...tiles on the floor.
Ya, these...
...tiles are pretty interesting,
aren't they?
And anyway, there's
nothing super exciting
happening outside.
Except that my...
...half Goan, half Parsi...
...fully mad family
is hitting peak madness.
Melvin uncle just touched
Diana aunty's ass.
You made me forget
my count.
That's okay.
Let's start from the beginning.
We have all the time
in the world.
Okay.
C'mon, I'll count with you.
Okay.
Start from the...
...right top corner?
One...
Two...
-Two...
Three...
-Three...
Four...
-Four...
Five...
-Five...
Six...
-Six...
Seven...
-Seven...
Eight...
Nine...
"Gonna get you,
gonna get you..."
Fuck you.
I'm going to fucking
sue their pants off.
The whole fucking board,
you watch.
It's okay, Anj.
It was anyway time.
They were making it
impossible for me.
So, now what?
No freaking clue!
It's like being twenty one
again, you know.
Where are the years going?
It's like I was
twenty one yesterday.
I was. Twenty one.
Like almost yesterday.
Shut up, Ms Baby Patel.
Twenty one was awful, guys.
Final year of LLB at NLS.
No idea how to talk to boys.
And the worst
fashion sense ever!
Hey, you guys know
those lists...
...with thirty things to do
before you're thirty?
Oh, my God.
-Oh, God!
I used to read all of them.
Who makes these lists?
Who are these people?
Seriously, man.
This Manali to Leh
solo bike trip.
Go to a Buddhist monastery...
...and make noodle soup
with the lamas.
Quit your job, go to Goa
and sell beaded necklaces.
And party.
-Ya...
Sky dive.
Confront life and death.
Which I do every day...
...while crossing
traffic on Peddar Road.
Hey! Guys...
One really good one.
Sex in the rainforest with...
...creatures crawling up
your bottom.
Or maybe in an airplane loo...
...with the tap up your butt!
I've never gone for a trek.
Or had sex.
I mean, not in a rainforest
or an airplane.
Sids, did you just
forget that you had sex?
Girls!
We've been looking for
you everywhere.
Awww...
Looking for your mommy?
Diaper change?
Need a spanking?
Wow.
These girls are mean,
aren't they?
Just bad alcohol behaviour.
Hey...
Why is your nose so crooked?
Why are you such a grouch?
Need a spanking?
Damini, don't you
want to cut your cake?
Oh, yeah!
Cake! Cake!
-Cake! Cake!
How long have you been
married for?
Fifty nine years.
Wow! That's...
And it's been bliss.
Ya?
-We have such fun together.
Like I'll say to him,
'Move over, fatso.'
And he'll say, 'Okay, flatso.'
Why does he call you 'flatso'?
Because I'm flat.
I don't have a big bosom.
Okay.
Hi, baby!
Mama, we went to
Bandra flea market.
Wow! Flea market!
But there was no flea.
Only mosquitos.
One bit me also.
My arm was red, red.
Oh, sorry...
Kavya aunty put cream,
now it's better.
Hi, Arya...
Hi!
Mama, who's that?
Baby, I'm going to
speak to you later, okay?
Bye! Love you!
Sorry, I...
I should've asked...
-Never...
...do that again.
Hello, Ms Usain Bolt.
What happened?
Got tired of running?
Look...
I...
...really, really like you,
Siddi-Piddi.
And I want this to go
somewhere meaningful.
I'm just here for two weeks...
...and then I return to
New York.
And then I don't
know when I'll ever...
Wow!
Damini...
You always know
what to do.
Not this time, Mom.
Your prodigal daughter
is clueless.
Are you disappointed?
Damini...
You're a journalist.
They can take away your title...
...but they can never
take away your talent.
Happy birthday, darling.
You know what?
Everything's going to
be alright.
Okay?
Thank you.
Don't worry.
Bye.
Hi...
Bye, Jeh.
-Bye, bye.
Bye, bye.
-Bye!
Thanks for coming.
Next week.
Next stop, Truck Bar.
Come fast.
Guys, don't run.
Wait up, ya!
Good morning.
Good morning, beautiful.
That is a beautiful way
to wake up.
Shall we go for a walk?
We can have breakfast
at a shack.
Walk?
Costume trial in a bit.
So cancel it.
It's my film, Umang.
I can't be a diva.
Then give me five minutes.
I'll get ready and come along.
Or...
You could...
...go to the gym.
I heard it's awesome.
What is the problem?
Don't come to the shoot.
Don't come to the
costume trial.
The other day, at the party,
you introduced me
as your trainer.
Am I an embarrassment to you?
What? Don't be mad.
Then what's the problem?
Look...
I have to keep...
...my personal life private.
You know how the
tabloids are.
When you were with
Raghuveer Singh...
...your personal life
was all over the tabloids.
Umang...
All this...
...is new for me.
Okay?
I can't just...
Can't just what?
I can't just come out of
the closet.
My career will be over.
And I can't go back into
the closet.
I fought against everyone
in Ludhiana,
left behind those I loved,
to make this life for myself.
I value it too damn much.
And I fought really hard
to get exactly where I am.
Too hard to throw it all away,
just like that.
-Just like that?
-Ya.
Just like that?!
-Ya!
This is my first relationship
with a woman.
I'm not even sure if I'm...
If I'm what?
I don't even know if
I want this.
You knew it when you were
fucking me.
Fuck the board.
Welcome back, Damini Rizvi Roy.
simmer for too long,
it will explode.
Emotionally,
physically,
metaphysically.
You're a good boy, Xerxes.
You a good boy or not?
Do you like it here
in Goa?
Are you a good boy?
Are you a good boy
or not?
Are you going to lick me?
Jeh uncle's girlfriend?
No.
Then why are you wearing
his shirt?
Why were you sleeping
in Jeh uncle's room?
'Cause he's my friend?
Ewww...you smell like poo!
Poo! Poo! Poo!
They're right, Xerxes.
I smell.
Can you smell me?
You're always welcome
to shower.
Hi...
Goa suits you.
Does it?
Ya, you look relaxed.
More relaxed than I've
ever seen you before.
Right.
Keep smiling like this.
This whole world's burden...
...that you're carrying...
...will get lighter.
I have permanently
hunched shoulders.
You know...
Got into the habit
when I hit puberty.....
...trying to hide my boobs.
But they're nice boobs.
Why hide them?
Really, Xerxes?
No loyalty?
You really are a dog.
Shut up, guys!
Twenty three years...
...you held on to
your virginity.
And suddenly one night,
against the lighthouse walls...
Bang! Yes baby...
Guys, stop it. Stop it!
-Siddhu got her cherry popped.
Siddhu got her cherry popped.
Siddhu got her cherry popped.
-Okay guys, seriously.
It's not a big deal okay.
I just lost my virginity.
Not like I won an Oscar.
Question is,
did he win one...
...for his performance!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
You guys are actually cray...
-Oh, yeah!
But I love it.
By the way, by removing
the 'Z' from crazy...
...how much time do
you save?
I take the 'O' out of OK
as well.
So it adds up.
Such a child.
But do you know who's
not a child anymore?
Our very own Siddhi.
Now she's a woman.
Okay, enough about me.
What about your girlfriend?
What? What? What?
Mangs has a girlfriend?
Check this out.
-Siddhi...
Look at it.
Samara frickin' Kapoor!
What the fuck!
She's into girls?
Wow! That's...
That's makes her even hotter!
Samara Kapoor?
-Sa...Samara Kapoor?
Oh, my god!
-Mangs!
Okay! Okay! Okay!
- Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- Hymen.
- Hymen who?
Hymen the mood for some
girl-on-girl action...
...with a superstar!
Sids, please!
Don't distract us from
your hymen!
Seriously, why didn't you
tell us before?
And she tells us about
every silly one night stand.
But you hid this from us!
Because like...
She asked you to hide it.
No.
Because...
this time...
...it's just different.
Why?
'Cause she's famous.
No, ya...
'Cause I'm in love with her.
Like proper, proper love?
Yes. And...
I just figured after Pinky...
...I would never have these
intense love feelings.
But once Samara and
I got together...
When I'm with her,
I don't even want to look at
anyone else.
You know, it's so perfect.
Like ice cream and gulab jamun.
(Indian delicacy)
Like jalebi and rabdi.
(Indian delicacy)
Like chana chaval.
(Indian delicacy)
Mangs, you really
are in love...
Ladies, mojitos
made fresh with...
...mint and lemons from
the orchards.
What's up.
-In the house...
...and on the house.
-Thank you.
Excuse me,
fancy cocktails?
What happened to
your rules?
Jeh has changed.
Ya guys...
I mean, this is Goa.
Everything's different here.
Sid...
Your phone.
Oh, thanks.
You don't need it?
No.
Jeh lent me a spare.
Oh.
Sharing bedrooms,
sharing phones.
Sharing clothes,
sharing glances.
Okay, okay.
Guys, guys...
You are all invited to
my parents'...
...fortieth wedding
anniversary celebrations.
-Oh.
-And my mum insists
on sharing the day with
our birthday girl here.
And Anjana,
bring your friend along.
What friend?
Your child!
-Oh!
She forgot about him.
-You forgot!
You forgot about him?
Cheers...
-Cheers to that!
There you are.
Hey...
Come on in.
The water's great.
I'm not falling for that
one again.
Don't you have a pool
in your hotel?
It's filled with noisy kids.
Whoa!
So is this pool.
Yes, but...
You're not in my hotel.
I'm a leech.
Stuck on you.
Bar's open.
Cocktail?
Nice rings...colourful.
Damini!
Over here.
Hi!
-Hi!
Hey!
-Hello...
Hi!
Happy anniversary
Mr and Mrs Wadia.
Thank you.
-Ms D'Costa.
I didn't add Wadia to
my name.
This Wadia is
completely insane!
Okay, Ms D'Costa.
By the way, Damini...
This morning, from
under the blanket,
I could only see
your eyes.
Nice to see you in full
my dear girl.
But really...
Isn't she beautiful?
Yes.
Well done, Jeh.
We had lost total hope
in you.
I'll go get a drink.
-Yes, please.
Mihir is texting.
Why?
Because you guys did it
last night.
He probably does have good
morning-after etiquette?
But if I reply immediately,
he's going to think
I'm really desperate.
Says who?
I read it in a magazine.
Don't chase boys.
Let them do it.
What do you feel like doing?
Oh, no. I don't know.
What if he thinks
I'm some stuck up bitch?
Also, I don't want it to seem
like it's a big deal we had...
...you know.
But if I reply immediately,
he'll think I'm obsessing
over him...
...because he was my first.
And if I don't then,
what if he thinks I hated it?
Not that I hated it,
it's just...
It just wasn't anything like...
...what I'd expected, you know.
It really hurt and that...
...that wall was so cold.
So bored.
What're you doing?
Mohit?
Mohit, stop it! Give it to me.
Mohit! Stop it!
-Invitation sent!
Location sent!
Enjoy.
Today's generation...
...has no patience.
We used to put roses in
our log books...
...for our boyfriends.
For one phone call...
...we used to wait for hours.
To speak with our boyfriend.
Not boyfriend.
I have a girlfriend.
Ooh! Girlfriend!
Speak louder please.
She's a lesbian.
Ooh!
Come, come. Sit here.
Come, come.
Tanaz aunty and Delnaz aunty...
...also did hanky-panky
in the Bharuch house.
So what?
Men.
They are like donkeys.
No brains whatsoever!
Forty five years.
Kaizad never satisfied me!
At first, he used to hurry
through it.
Later, he decided to
slow down.
But he was never able to
catch my speed.
You are very lucky, young lady.
You can live your life openly.
Tanaz aunty and Delnaz aunty...
...committed suicide.
They couldn't live together...
...so they died together.
I love my nipples
to be nibbled!
Oh, God!
I hope you take care of her...
...and she takes care of you.
Ya, we try.
Kaizad and I,
we tried anal sex also.
Very pleasurable.
Naughty girl!
So what!
I don't eat raw food.
Try it.
It's an aphrodisiac.
Apparently so are chocolate
covered strawberries.
But they just make me
put on weight, that's all.
That's because you
have to work it off.
Afterwards.
I am horrible at flirty talk.
At this point,
all I can think of is my...
...sweaty spinning teacher...
...shouting 'Faster! Faster!'
I can make you spin.
And sweat.
While you scream
'Faster! Faster!'
The oyster's still waiting.
Let's do this.
This vodka-cranberry popsicle...
...is the undisputed popsicle
king.
I mean, it is life affirming.
Shows how low your
self-esteem is...
considering you're getting your
affirmations from shaved ice.
I get mine from shaved pubes.
Gross. Thanks!
Oh, God. He's here.
What?
Oh, shit! My popsicle!
Popsicle?
Is that what you call him now?
Mr Cherry Popper?
Mohit, please! Just hide me.
My ass is not that big.
What does he look like?
What?
He's a guy.
Wow. That narrows it down.
Mihir!
-What are you doing?
Mihir!
Mihir! Hey, this way man!
He's cute. In a very banker
sort of way.
Hey, Mihir!
-Horrible!
Hey...
Hey, I dropped my popsicle.
I need another one.
Mihir...
Hi, Mohit.
-Hi...
I'm Siddhi's new bestie.
-Oh, nice.
-Tell me...
Do you really live in
New York...
...or you're just saying
Newark in a hybrid accent?
Sorry, what?
-She's ignoring you.
-Why?
-I call it the MALV syndrome.
-What's that?
Morning After Losing Virginity?
Is the door shut?
Hey, Siddi-Piddi...
Look, about last night...
Okay. This is taking too long.
I changed my mind.
Sorry, I don't want it.
Siddi-Piddi, can we just talk?
I really need to pee.
Fuck!
I have to...
Make a phone call,
get a popsicle,
go pee,
have a snack,
pick some coconut,
save the world,
...stand for President.
-What the hell?
Oh, shit, I'm so sorry.
Prime Minister.
I forgot, the head of state
here is the Prime Minister.
I really have to go.
-You've got...
You've got to be
kidding me, Siddhi...
Shit! Damini...
Don't sell out, Uma.
Please.
It's funny.
You know, all this while
I thought you were on my side.
What are you trying to say?
Out?
From where?
What?
I'm sorry?
You're the one who's been
pushing me!
You can't...
My everything!
You cannot remove me!
Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck
the entire board Uma!
I won't let you do this okay!
I will not let you do this!
Hello!
Uma!
Let's hide here!
Let's hide here!
Let's hide here!
-Shut the door! Shut the door!
Who are you?
This is Aunty Diana's room.
No it's not. It's Jeh's room.
And I've taken his
permission, okay?
This is not a fancy
dress party, okay.
I know that but...
...I have to put on a show.
Now go.
Are you a wicked witch
from a Disney movie?
What?
Sing a song.
Wicked witch song.
Not now. Later. Okay?
Now go.
Sing.
Or I'll call Mom and Dad.
Come here, Jeh.
I think someone's stuck.
I think it's Homai.
She falls now and then.
Homai aunty...
Are you there?
I'll just get the key.
Homai...
"I'm a witch
or I'm an angel..."
"Gonna get you,
gonna get you anyway..."
"I'm a witch
or I'm an angel..."
"Gonna get you,
gonna get you..."
Once more! Once more!
Damini...
Seventy eight...
Seventy nine...
Eighty...
I'm stuck.
I'm stuck, Jeh.
They fired me.
They fucking fired me
from my own company.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Take your time.
I think I'm frozen.
I just have to finish counting
the number of...
...tiles on the floor.
Ya, these...
...tiles are pretty interesting,
aren't they?
And anyway, there's
nothing super exciting
happening outside.
Except that my...
...half Goan, half Parsi...
...fully mad family
is hitting peak madness.
Melvin uncle just touched
Diana aunty's ass.
You made me forget
my count.
That's okay.
Let's start from the beginning.
We have all the time
in the world.
Okay.
C'mon, I'll count with you.
Okay.
Start from the...
...right top corner?
One...
Two...
-Two...
Three...
-Three...
Four...
-Four...
Five...
-Five...
Six...
-Six...
Seven...
-Seven...
Eight...
Nine...
"Gonna get you,
gonna get you..."
Fuck you.
I'm going to fucking
sue their pants off.
The whole fucking board,
you watch.
It's okay, Anj.
It was anyway time.
They were making it
impossible for me.
So, now what?
No freaking clue!
It's like being twenty one
again, you know.
Where are the years going?
It's like I was
twenty one yesterday.
I was. Twenty one.
Like almost yesterday.
Shut up, Ms Baby Patel.
Twenty one was awful, guys.
Final year of LLB at NLS.
No idea how to talk to boys.
And the worst
fashion sense ever!
Hey, you guys know
those lists...
...with thirty things to do
before you're thirty?
Oh, my God.
-Oh, God!
I used to read all of them.
Who makes these lists?
Who are these people?
Seriously, man.
This Manali to Leh
solo bike trip.
Go to a Buddhist monastery...
...and make noodle soup
with the lamas.
Quit your job, go to Goa
and sell beaded necklaces.
And party.
-Ya...
Sky dive.
Confront life and death.
Which I do every day...
...while crossing
traffic on Peddar Road.
Hey! Guys...
One really good one.
Sex in the rainforest with...
...creatures crawling up
your bottom.
Or maybe in an airplane loo...
...with the tap up your butt!
I've never gone for a trek.
Or had sex.
I mean, not in a rainforest
or an airplane.
Sids, did you just
forget that you had sex?
Girls!
We've been looking for
you everywhere.
Awww...
Looking for your mommy?
Diaper change?
Need a spanking?
Wow.
These girls are mean,
aren't they?
Just bad alcohol behaviour.
Hey...
Why is your nose so crooked?
Why are you such a grouch?
Need a spanking?
Damini, don't you
want to cut your cake?
Oh, yeah!
Cake! Cake!
-Cake! Cake!
How long have you been
married for?
Fifty nine years.
Wow! That's...
And it's been bliss.
Ya?
-We have such fun together.
Like I'll say to him,
'Move over, fatso.'
And he'll say, 'Okay, flatso.'
Why does he call you 'flatso'?
Because I'm flat.
I don't have a big bosom.
Okay.
Hi, baby!
Mama, we went to
Bandra flea market.
Wow! Flea market!
But there was no flea.
Only mosquitos.
One bit me also.
My arm was red, red.
Oh, sorry...
Kavya aunty put cream,
now it's better.
Hi, Arya...
Hi!
Mama, who's that?
Baby, I'm going to
speak to you later, okay?
Bye! Love you!
Sorry, I...
I should've asked...
-Never...
...do that again.
Hello, Ms Usain Bolt.
What happened?
Got tired of running?
Look...
I...
...really, really like you,
Siddi-Piddi.
And I want this to go
somewhere meaningful.
I'm just here for two weeks...
...and then I return to
New York.
And then I don't
know when I'll ever...
Wow!
Damini...
You always know
what to do.
Not this time, Mom.
Your prodigal daughter
is clueless.
Are you disappointed?
Damini...
You're a journalist.
They can take away your title...
...but they can never
take away your talent.
Happy birthday, darling.
You know what?
Everything's going to
be alright.
Okay?
Thank you.
Don't worry.
Bye.
Hi...
Bye, Jeh.
-Bye, bye.
Bye, bye.
-Bye!
Thanks for coming.
Next week.
Next stop, Truck Bar.
Come fast.
Guys, don't run.
Wait up, ya!
Good morning.
Good morning, beautiful.
That is a beautiful way
to wake up.
Shall we go for a walk?
We can have breakfast
at a shack.
Walk?
Costume trial in a bit.
So cancel it.
It's my film, Umang.
I can't be a diva.
Then give me five minutes.
I'll get ready and come along.
Or...
You could...
...go to the gym.
I heard it's awesome.
What is the problem?
Don't come to the shoot.
Don't come to the
costume trial.
The other day, at the party,
you introduced me
as your trainer.
Am I an embarrassment to you?
What? Don't be mad.
Then what's the problem?
Look...
I have to keep...
...my personal life private.
You know how the
tabloids are.
When you were with
Raghuveer Singh...
...your personal life
was all over the tabloids.
Umang...
All this...
...is new for me.
Okay?
I can't just...
Can't just what?
I can't just come out of
the closet.
My career will be over.
And I can't go back into
the closet.
I fought against everyone
in Ludhiana,
left behind those I loved,
to make this life for myself.
I value it too damn much.
And I fought really hard
to get exactly where I am.
Too hard to throw it all away,
just like that.
-Just like that?
-Ya.
Just like that?!
-Ya!
This is my first relationship
with a woman.
I'm not even sure if I'm...
If I'm what?
I don't even know if
I want this.
You knew it when you were
fucking me.
Fuck the board.
Welcome back, Damini Rizvi Roy.