Fortunes of War (1987): Season 1, Episode 2 - Romania: January 1940 - full transcript
(birds chirping)
(bird cawing)
(bird wings whooshing)
(dramatic music)
- [Harriet] What's it mean?
- It says.
♪ Come water your horses ♪
♪ All you that are able ♪
♪ Come water your horses ♪
♪ And give them some corn ♪
♪ And he that won't do it ♪
♪ The sergeant shall know it ♪
♪ He shall be whipped ♪
♪ And put in a dark hole ♪
- (sighs) It's cold.
- Come on.
(cat meows)
(door slams)
- [Guy] Ah.
- You going out?
- Yes, we've been summoned to a meeting
with Commander Sheppy.
Shakespeare, yes, I shall need that.
- That secret serviceman?
- Shh, no one is supposed to know.
- Everybody knows, looks as if he's taken
a correspondence course in leadership.
- [Guy] Oh, cheerio, darling.
- Cheerio.
(cat thuds)
(upbeat music)
- What have we here?
- A map.
- But what have we here?
- Does he mean the Danube?
- Well, at a rough guess,
I'd say it was the Danube.
- The Danube, right.
Now, you've been called here today
because you're Englishmen.
Young, robust, patriotic Englishmen
who ought to be on active service,
but for one reason or another are not.
- Do I take it, General--
- Commander.
- Do I take it that
conscientious objectors
have no part in your plans?
- In my world, young man,
there is no such thing
as a conscientious objector.
- [Dubedat] Good afternoon, Commander.
- Right.
- I think I'm a pacifist.
- I should tell him later.
- We'll be forming a striking
force to hit the enemy
where he'll feel it most, the belly.
Last year, 400,000 tons of wheat went
from Romania to Germany.
And how did it get there?
- The Danube?
- The Danube, right, the belly.
We'll be blowing things up.
(men snickering)
Explosions, laddies, explosions.
We'll start with the iron gates.
Remember, this isn't a lark,
but it is an adventure.
There'll be lots of fun, and
we're letting you in on it.
So be prepared, await instructions,
and keep your traps shut.
- Of course, I'm only here as an observer.
- And what do you observe about Sheppy?
(Sheppy laughs dramatically)
- Very amusing, and clinically insane.
(men laughing)
- [Guy] Woo, hello, everyone!
- What have you done?
- [Guy] It's only me.
- Yes, but what's that?
- [Guy] Balaclava helmet,
present from Clarence!
- (laughs) Professor,
(speaking in foreign language).
- It is not a present.
It was knitted by some gallant woman,
probably in West Hartlepool,
(Guy laughs)
for the gallant Polish refugees,
to protect them from the gallant winter.
- I have loaned it to Guy
and it must be returned.
- It's ridiculous, do you
imagine the Poles will miss it?
- I am responsible for the contents
of an entire warehouse
of such gallant garments.
- You're also drunk.
- I want to get drunk.
- You are drunk.
- I want to remain drunk!
- Despina!
- Yes, yes, Domnul Lawson?
(speaking in foreign language)
- Bring us lots of beer.
- [Despina] Oh, lots of
beer, but lots of money.
- Give her lots of money, Clarence.
- Yes, lots of money to buy lots of beer.
- Oh, that will buy only a little beer.
- Well, we already have a little beer.
You go buy a little more.
(all laughing)
(speaking in foreign language)
- Oh, darling, could you put
that somewhere safe for me?
- [Harriet] Yes, of course.
- Yes, and some beer, right.
- It says "most secret."
- Guy is going to blow
up the River Danube,
and thereby bring the war
to an early conclusion.
- Don't sit on the cat!
- Harriet, there are
beggars dying in the snow.
They collect their bodies each morning
with a horse and cart, and
you make a fuss about a cat.
- People are dying.
Is that an argument in
favor of sitting on cats?
- We don't have a cat, do we?
- We have a cat.
That is to say, I have a cat.
- Where do you want me to hide this?
- Shh, don't tell him, secret.
- You won't do it, will you?
- Hmm?
- You won't go on secret missions
to blow up the River Danube?
You'd be hopeless.
You can't even work a box of matches.
Blow yourself up.
- Darling, I can't fight, can I?
But I do loathe and despise fascism.
And I shall do anything
in my power to destroy it.
Now, if some apparent maniac asks me
to blow things up in that cause,
I think I shall do my very best to learn.
And I shall be very careful.
I'll ask someone else
to carry the matches.
(upbeat music)
- I think Yakimov is a spy.
Is he not always telling
us he knows secrets?
But he will not tell us
what those secrets are.
It is no longer safe to be
friendly with the English.
I think we tell everyone
Prince Yakimov is a spy.
- Yakimov!
- Ah, oh!
Oh, dear boy, do you know
I seem to have wandered
into the wrong room?
- Wrong room?
You haven't got a room here!
Sling your hook.
- Dear boy, I really do need
to stay in the center of town.
Meeting friends for dinner.
- You need to stay in the center of town,
hoping somebody turns up
who'll buy you a drink!
- More hungry than thirsty,
to tell you the truth.
I suppose you--
- You won't get nothing more
out of me, you parasite.
- Well, uh, wartime, you know.
English should stick together.
- You stick to people like
shit sticks to a blanket!
- Bit tasteless, dear boy.
- Yakimov, have you got fleas?
(dramatic music)
(suspenseful music)
- [Dobson] If you are not a
resident at the Athenee Palace,
you are not entitled to use their rooms.
- I was a resident.
I only moved out temporarily,
so I took the precaution
of hanging on to a key,
ready for when I move back in.
- And stop making people
think you're a spy.
- Spy, who thinks I'm a spy?
- I've been told you're
spying for the British
and for the Germans.
Apparently, you persuade people,
newspapermen and the like,
that you have valuable information.
- Well, you know, my
friends give me hospitality.
I like to entertain them with stories.
- I see, you invent the
information, in fact.
- When there's no genuine information,
one has to invent.
Like to give value.
- You could end up being shot
by both sides simultaneously.
(knuckles rapping)
Come in.
- Is this Prince Yakimov?
- It is indeed, do you know Foxy Leverett?
- By reputation, of course.
Constant topic of conversation
in the English Bar.
Foxy Leverett, intrepid hero
in daring secret adventures.
- Yes, we'd prefer you
didn't talk about it.
- Lips permanently sealed, dear boy.
- Sit down.
(clock chiming)
- I'm told you have a car.
- A car, well, yes and no.
Fact is, the poor girl's
impounded on the Yugoslav border.
Hispano-Suiza, beauty.
- Held on the border against unpaid debts
which you left in Yugoslavia, it seems.
- Misunderstanding, 35 thou,
I could clear up the whole business
before you can say Veuve Clicquot.
- The fact is, Mr. Yakimov.
- Prince.
- Fact is, I'm slipping over
the border into Yugoslavia,
and it would be a great
help to me if I could
have a motor car in which to slip back.
- My Hispano-Suiza?
- You've got the receipt, keys and so on?
- Oh, yes.
(bell tolling)
- Clarence, can you do me a favor?
- [Clarence] I see no
compelling reason why I should.
- I'm supposed to be
having lunch with Harriet,
but I've been summoned
to an important meeting.
- [Clarence] Sheppy's fighting force?
- I'm not allowed to say.
- [Clarence] Sheppy's fighting force.
- One o'clock, Nestor's.
- But--
- Tell her I'll meet her at the
English Bar at four o'clock.
- What about my own plans for lunch?
- Oh, Clarence, don't be absurd.
You never have plans.
- [Clarence] True.
(upbeat music)
- You're the sort of
woman that men confess to.
- I considered the priesthood,
but I'm not interested in horseracing.
- My father was a clergyman.
- Really, a clergyman and a sadist.
He believed devoutly
in corporal punishment.
He deliberately sent me to a school
that believed in corporal punishment, too.
The great public school
tradition, brutality.
It destroys the human spirit but then,
I suppose that's the intention.
- Is that why you're a pacifist?
- Who told you that?
- You're not a member of
Commander Sheppy's private army.
- I told myself it was pacifism.
Really, I just don't
like to be with people.
Oh, one at a time is sometimes bearable
but more than that, I.
- Guy loves to be with people.
He comes to life in a crowd.
- There's nothing I can do
to help Guy or you or me.
Am I good company?
- Not very.
- Bless you for your beauty
and your honesty. (laughs)
(lively music)
(both laughing)
- We could walk to the hotel.
- I drive better like this.
(car engine roars)
- My friends, I think.
Fellow English spies.
Dear girl, how nice to see a human face.
I say, you don't think I'm a spy, do you?
- Have you seen Guy?
- Well, no, I can't say
that I have, dear girl.
Eager to help.
- Would you like a drink?
- Thanks, dear boy, might just struggle
through a soupçon of brandy.
- Nothing for me.
- Two brandies.
- Have you seen Guy?
- Sorry, dear.
- He was supposed to be
here half an hour ago.
- What price the fate of one individual
when nations are toppling by the minute?
- They all talk like their
newspapers, these chaps.
- Best plan, stick to the sporting life.
- Has something happened?
- Hungary's mobilizing,
German troops flooding in.
All the lines to Budapest are dead.
It'll be our turn next.
- Aren't the passes blocked with snow?
- Oh, that old story.
Snow didn't stop Hannibal.
Won't stop the Germans.
- The Romanians said they would fight.
- (laughs) Have you
seen the Romanian army?
Bunch of half-starved peasants,
wouldn't go three rounds
with the Crazy Gang.
- [Yakimov] Is this true about Hungary?
- [Galpin] True enough for my paper.
- Might as well have another drink.
Doubt if we'll get one in Berlin.
- Good thinking, Harry, fill ups!
- We're both drinking brandy.
- I can't decide what
sort of bastard you are.
- Nor can anyone else, dear boy.
- I'm going to look for Guy.
If he comes here, tell
him I'm at the university
or the Information Bureau.
Or in the lake.
- The lake's frozen.
- I enjoy a challenge!
(men laughing)
There's a rumor Germany's invaded Hungary.
Do you believe it?
- That could be.
Doesn't mean they'll come here.
Hungary's more important to
the Germans than Romania.
- Thank you, everybody
thinks the Germans will come.
- If Germany can get what
she needs from Romania
without the trouble of
conquering the place,
she'll be very happy to do so.
And no, Harriet, I'm afraid
I haven't seen your husband.
He does tend to disappear
without trace for hours on end.
- I'm afraid he's gone
off with Commander Sheppy
on one of those insane
sabotage expeditions.
- Sabotage?
- It's all most secret,
but I gather it's about
blowing up the River Danube.
Dynamiting the iron gates,
detonators down oil wells.
- Yes, I see.
Um, I think you'd better
leave this one to me, Harriet.
- But where is Guy?
- That is of no immediate importance.
My concern is an important
question of principle.
He'll turn up.
You know he'll turn up.
He'll go on turning up for
the rest of your married life.
(door slams)
- Oh, hi, darling.
- Where on earth have you been?
- I just--
- Don't you realize
the Germans have invaded Hungary?
They could well be invading
Romania at this very moment.
- Have you been talking to Galpin?
- Yes, but it could still be true.
- I heard the rumors.
I rang the British Legation.
There had been a breakdown
on the line to Budapest.
The line has now been restored.
No one has invaded Hungary,
and no one is going to invade Romania.
- You weren't in the
English Bar at four o'clock.
- Well, I glanced in,
and you weren't there.
I can't be precise
exactly what time it was.
Then I met Dubedat,
and he was going to see a
rather interesting French film,
so I thought--
- You've been to the pictures?
- Well, you weren't in the English Bar.
- You were at the pictures!
- Well, it was a Rene Clair film.
- Why haven't you been
blowing up oil wells?
- I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.
- I was promised lunch with my husband!
Instead of which I had two
hours of soul-searching
with Clarence Lawson!
And for the next two hours,
I played hunt for Guy
with no success!
I was worried, damn you, worried!
I thought you might be dead!
Instead of which you were at
the pictures with Dubedat,
of all people!
- You see, it was stupid to worry.
- That's why I'm angry!
Because I was stupid!
(cat meows)
(cat purrs)
Are you reading the whole of Shakespeare?
- Rereading.
- Why?
- I like Shakespeare.
- I like my cat.
(dramatic music)
- [Guy] "A harmless necessary cat."
- Is that Shakespeare?
- "Merchant of Venice."
- "Have I not hands, organs,
"senses, dimensions, passions"
- Sorry, darling?
- It doesn't matter.
Goodnight, sweet prince.
(water burbling)
(water dripping)
(water burbling)
(rain patters)
- Good evening.
- Good evening, sir.
- Thank you.
- Merci.
- Guy, hello, Harriet.
I've just come from your friend,
the mysterious Commander Sheppy.
- Oh, do I know him?
- I informed him that whosoever he may be,
he has no jurisdiction over my men.
Now, Guy, I can well
understand your wanting
to do something more
dramatic than lecturing,
but the situation does not permit.
It just does not permit.
You're here to obey orders, my orders.
- Professor Inchcape, you must
know that the King is about
to announce an amnesty for the Iron Guard.
- I've heard today's rumors, yes.
- In other words, we are on the brink
of a fascist takeover in this country.
People are in prison without
trial or any prospect of trial.
Nobody knows what's become
of the Drucker family.
Sasha Drucker, my own student,
has disappeared without trace.
And you want me to answer this situation
just by giving lectures?
- Well, if you want to help,
you can do some clerical
work at the Legation.
You can hang up posters
at the Information Bureau.
You could help Lawson at
the Polish Relief Center.
- Oh, yes, help him
catalog his balaclavas.
- Guy, you are many things to many people,
but you are not a warrior.
And you're well out of it.
(Guy sighs)
- Well, somebody must have told him.
This Sheppy thing was secret.
- A secret that everybody
in Bucharest knew about.
But I told him.
Are we going for lunch now?
- No!
- Well, where are you going?
- That's my business.
(men yelling)
(gentle music)
- Where can poor Yaki go?
- [Woman] Pay me my money!
- What about my belongings?
A chap can't go about starkers!
- Pay me my money!
- Look, I'm expecting my
remittance any day, dear girl.
It's probably delayed in the post.
There's a war on, you know!
- Pay me my money!
- "Pay me my money!"
(plate shatters)
Hello, dear boy.
- Hello, darling.
- [Harriet] Hello.
- I've got a surprise for you.
- A nice surprise?
- Yes.
- I'm going to take you
away for the weekend.
- A holiday?
- In the mountains.
(Guys chuckles)
- Better now?
- Better, thank you.
- And while we're away,
Prince Yakimov's gonna
look after the flat for us.
(floor creaks)
(knuckles rapping)
Darling, he's ill.
He's hungry, he's been
turned out of his lodgings.
- He's a scrounger and a glutton.
- We must help him, not
because he's a good person,
because he needs help.
- Why can't you find
some good people to help?
- Well, Yakimov's not bad.
If the world was composed of Yakimovs,
there'd be no wars, would there?
- There'd be no anything.
- [Guy] Come into the room.
Be nice to him.
(cat purring)
(cat meows)
(dramatic music)
- How kind of beauty to
feed her poor old Yak.
- Isn't it beautiful?
- Hmm, it has some good moments.
It has some very good moments.
- I'm talking about the mountains.
- Oh, the mountains?
- [Harriet] You do agree,
the mountains have some good moments.
- Well, I really need my
distance glasses, darling.
- Can you see me without
your distance glasses?
- Of course I can, darling.
- And what do you see?
- I see you.
If I look very closely,
I can see myself reflected in your eyes.
- You can see yourself
reflected in anybody's eyes.
- Ah, it's not the same.
You're my wife.
I married you.
You're part of myself.
- And am I part of you?
- Naturally, I mean, the
exact proportions may vary,
but basically you are.
- I love you.
- I know.
- Read your book.
- Right.
- "Troilus and Cressida?"
- Yes, that's the one.
- The one?
- Hmm.
I'm going to put it on
at the National Theatre.
- In Bucharest?
- Yes.
- Have you told anyone?
- No, I've just decided.
I think two or three
phone calls should do it.
- But Guy, there are 28 speaking parts.
- Yes, well, I shall
ask some of my students
to carry spears.
- You need 28 people who can
speak English, learn the lines,
spare the time for
rehearsals and remain sober.
- 27.
- 28.
- 27, Cressida.
(door slams)
(Harriet laughing)
- [Harriet] You're quite
sure he'll have gone?
- Of course, we sent the telegram
and I told him quite
firmly that the invitation
to stay only covered the weekend.
(Yakimov snoring)
- Wake up!
(Yakimov yells)
We expected you would be gone!
- Oh, well, you know, I was
going this very day, dear girl.
Wanted to welcome you back.
Hear all about the trip.
- Get out of our bed.
- Oh, dear boy, I should,
poor old Yaki's rather a sick man.
Perhaps I should take a bath.
(Yakimov singing in foreign language)
- It doesn't take me two
hours to have a bath.
- Oh, come on, darling, be charitable.
- This is my home.
I can't share it with someone I despise.
(Harriet sighs)
Have you seen the cat?
- Well, to be truthful, darling,
I haven't looked for the cat.
(door slams)
- Ah, Despina. (speaking
in foreign language)
(speaking in foreign language)
There's no need to do that.
Just tell me where the cat is.
- (speaking in foreign
language) Mrs. Pringle.
- Dead?
- Dead. (speaking in foreign language)
- Well, how did it happen?
- I am cleaning room,
cat go on the balcony,
then to next door balcony.
(speaking in foreign language)
No like cats, makes like this, cats!
Cat falls down, I found it.
No pain, death instant,
Mrs. Pringle, I'm so sorry.
- Where was Yakimov when this happened?
- Ah, that one!
He eat and eat and sleep
and sleep all the time!
(Yakimov speaks faintly)
- You killed my cat.
- Oh, no, hands clean,
dearest one, verdict suicide.
- (gasps) Mrs. Pringle,
all the time he eat and eat
and sleep and sleep!
- Yaki, how would you
like to play Pandarus?
- Not very good at card games, dear boy.
- You killed my cat.
- With deepest sympathy, much
love, condolences in your sad.
Wife seems a little upset.
(Harriet sobbing)
- You will only understand English poetry
when you understand that English
poets, without exception,
have always been over-privileged,
pampered, myopic,
narrow-minded and, for the most part,
alcoholic and homosexual.
Personally, I'd rather listen
to a Liverpool docker any day of the week.
- Psst.
- But.
- How would you like to play Thersites?
- Who the hell's Thersites?
- Well, Shakespeare
describes him as a deformed
and scurrilous Greek.
- All right if I play him
as a sniveling, working-class lout?
- Exactly what I had in mind, thank you.
- So, you want me to play Ulysses?
- You would be perfect.
- He always struck me
as a thoroughly decent fellow, Ulysses.
No speeches, but still.
- Agamemnon?
- Helen of Troy?
- Achilles, what sort of chap is he?
- A Greek commander.
- Officer class?
- Absolutely.
- The trouble is, Pringle,
I'll be over the border
into foreign parts any day now.
- Yugoslavia?
- Not in a position to say.
- But what about you?
- Him?
- Not a chance, old son.
Hate and despise William Shakespeare.
- Why?
- Because the bastard reminds me
what I do to the English language.
- [Galpin] Harry, fill ups.
- "Ay, do, do, thou sodden-witted lord!
"Thou hast no more brain
than I have in mine elbow.
"An asinego may tutor thee,
"you scurvy-valiant ass!
"Thou art here but to thrash Trojans.
"Thou art bought and sold amongst those
"of any wit like a barbarian slave.
"If thou use to beat me, I
will begin at thy heels!"
- "You dog!"
- "You scurvy lord!"
- "You cur!"
- Yes, and then you hit him.
Very good, very good, excellent.
Yes, now, ah, darling and Yaki,
would you like to dip your toes
into Act One, Scene Two?
Very good, excellent.
- Couldn't we just read the play through
from start to finish?
I can't tell what the story's about.
- Yes, very good, Bella.
It's just if we can, at this point,
begin to feel our way into the characters,
I think we can just come back
to the story anytime, okay?
Thank you, now, if you'd like to begin
at the point I mentioned earlier?
- Hector passes, dear boy?
- Yes, absolutely.
(clock ticks)
- I thought you were wonderful tonight.
- Did you?
- Mm.
- Hmm!
- The way you enthuse everyone.
It's really amateur dramatics,
but everybody went home feeling
it's the most important
thing in the whole world.
- Well, it is, really.
We'll start proper rehearsals
at the university tomorrow.
Darling, would you mind
having a go at the costumes?
- Costumes, I thought
I was playing Cressida.
- Well, I think you'd be so
much more useful doing costumes.
And of course, if you did the costumes,
you wouldn't really have
time to play Cressida.
- Would this, by any chance,
be a most secret message
meaning you have someone else
in mind to play Cressida?
- Well, only if you can
manage the costumes.
- Who's playing Cressida?
- Sophie.
- Sophie.
- Well, I understand she's
been very depressed lately,
so I thought that if.
(bombs booming)
- Who's bombing who, dear boy?
(airplane engine roaring)
- The Germans are bombing Norway.
- Ah, miles away.
There's a countenance.
"It's not a brave man?
"Is a not?"
(siren blares)
"Does a man's heart good"
- Shh.
(bomb booms)
- "Why should a man be
proud, how doth pride grow?
"I know not what pride is," pause.
"I-I"
- "I do hate"
- "I do hate a proud man
"as I do hate the engendering of toads."
- [Harriet] Everybody
in Bucharest is talking
in Elizabethan prose or blank verse.
- [Dubedat] "The engendering of toads."
What does it mean?
Does it mean anything?
Does any of it mean anything?
The Germans will be here
before the first night, anyway.
- I've never seen Guy so happy.
(man speaking in foreign language)
- I'm going to walk out of the show.
- Whatever for?
- His behavior.
Casting that bitch Sophie in your place.
(man speaking in foreign language)
- Isn't one bitch much
the same as any other?
- No, Harriet, the answer is no.
- That's very good, darling.
This time, go a little
further back and uh,
try from "Good uncle, I beseech you."
Give yourself a run at
it, whenever you're ready.
- "Good uncle, I beseech you,
on my knees I beseech you,
"what's the matter?"
- "Thou must be gone,
wench, thou must be gone."
Get down on my knees.
- Down, down, down.
- "Thou are changing."
- Did you do these?
- Mm.
I drew them, yes.
I copied the costumes from books.
I've improved them, though.
Guy wanted to do it in modern dress.
- Helen of Troy, in modern dress?
And he's supposed to be
the intellectual, oh, God.
- [Harriet] The press has arrived.
- Very good, when you're ready,
begin speaking.
- "Thou must to thy father,
"and be gone from Troilus
'twill be his death,
'twill be his bane, he cannot bear it."
- [Sophie] "O you immortal
gods, I will not go."
- [Yakimov] "Thou must."
- I thought you hated Shakespeare.
- Well, I like a good story.
- Is this a good story?
- Europe in flames.
German army crashing through
Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg,
and the English in
exile doing Shakespeare?
It's great stuff.
Only trouble is, I can't decide
whether it's a defiant gesture
in the face of the enemy
or a shameful waste of
time and money in the midst
of a national crisis.
What do you think?
- I blame capitalist imperialism.
- Of course you do, I was forgetting.
Oh, do I spy the turd Yakimov?
- [Dubedat] Yeah, and
he's gonna steal the show.
- Well, fellow's a natural born thief.
- [Sophie] "Upon my
back, to defend my belly,
"upon my wit to defend my wiles,
"upon my secrecy to defend mine honesty,
"my mask to defend my beauty,
"and you to defend all these,
"and at all these wards I lie,
"at a thousand watches."
- Very good, very good, darling.
One, one note only, which is to enjoy it.
- You needn't worry.
He's only interested in art.
- Now, if I could have
your attention, please!
Hearken unto me.
I have now been able to finalize dates.
We shall give two
performances on June the 14th
in the National Theatre.
Now, the first one will be in
the afternoon for students,
and the evening performance for grownups.
Now, the proceeds will go to
a special fund I've set up
with Dubedat for the
housing of poor students.
(crowd clapping)
Now, that means we have
just over three weeks,
so I shall expect you all to
work even harder than hitherto,
so stiffen the sinews,
summon up the blood,
and be careful where
you stick your spears.
(audience laughs)
Now, any problems, questions,
nervous breakdowns?
Front page news?
- Yep, I've got some front page news.
Another strategic withdrawal.
- Where now, Holland, Belgium?
- The Germans have invaded the English Bar
at the Athenee Palace.
(crowd murmuring)
(people chattering)
- Who are all these ghastly people?
- [Galpin] Businessmen, embassy officials,
spies, even journalists, God help us.
- [Man] Switch who was doing your driving.
Should he be gone.
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
- It'll be The Drinking
Song from The Student Prince
into the small hours.
- There's a garden at
the back of the hotel
we could drink in.
It's very pretty.
- You mean the open air?
- Yes, but just as a
temporary measure, you know.
- Fresh air brings on my cough.
- Come on, let's go to the garden.
- Mm, we shall return!
- [Commentator] We shall
fight with growing confidence
and growing strength in the air.
We shall defend our island,
whatever the cost maybe.
We shall fight on the beaches,
we shall fight on the landing grounds.
We shall fight in the
fields and in the streets.
We shall fight in the hills.
We shall never surrender.
(dramatic music)
(man groans)
- Brilliant audience, all
our best families are here,
and all on their uppers.
I just wonder who paid
for their seats, hmm?
(actors speaking faintly)
- Cue the music.
(upbeat music)
House lights out.
(audience applauds)
- In Troy, there lies the scene.
From Isles of Greece the princes orgulous,
their high blood chafed,
have to the port of
Athens sent their ships,
fraught with the ministers
and instruments of cruel war.
Like or find fault,
do as your pleasures are.
Now good or bad,
'tis but the chance of war.
(airplane engine roars)
(dramatic music)
(bomb booming)
Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back,
wherein he puts arms for oblivion,
a great-sized monster of ingratitudes.
Those scraps are good deeds past,
which are devoured as
fast as they are made,
forgot as soon as done.
(somber music)
So Ilion, fall thou next!
- Come, Troy, sink down!
Here lies thy heart,
thy sinews and thy bone.
On Myrmidons, and cry you all amain,
"Achilles hath the mighty Hector slain."
The dragon wing of night
overspreads the earth,
and stickler-like, the armies separates.
My half-supp'd sword, that
frankly would have fed,
pleased with this dainty bait,
thus goes to bed.
- Full merrily, the humble-bee doth sing,
till he hath lost his honey and his sting.
And being once subdued in armed tail,
sweet honey and sweet notes together fail.
Good traders in the flesh, set
this in your painted cloths.
As many as be here of pander's hall,
your eyes, half out, weep
out at Pandar's fall.
Or if you cannot weep,
yet give some groans,
though not for me, yet
for your aching bones.
Till then I'll sweat
and seek about for eases,
and at that time bequeath you my diseases.
(audience applauds)
(speaking faintly)
- Okay, stand by.
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
- Bravo.
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
(dramatic music)
(audience applauds)
- Bravo, go on.
(upbeat music)
- Ah, darling!
- Congratulations.
It was a tremendous success.
- It wasn't bad, was it?
When I do another one I--
- Surely not another?
- But I thought you enjoyed it.
- Wonderful costumes, Harriet.
- Thank you, wonderful Ulysses.
- Well, one does one's best.
- I thought Dubedat was
rather good, considering.
- He knows how to exploit
his natural unpleasantness.
Oh, uh, would you excuse me a moment?
- Yes, of course.
- You could save me, Harriet.
- Why should I have to save you?
- They're bound to send
me back to London soon.
Come with me.
- Come with you?
- Yes.
- I haven't been married a year,
and already I'm being propositioned.
- [Clarence] Your husband is a fool.
- I'd rather have a fool
who believes in something
than a fool who believes in nothing.
- Ladies and gentlemen, may
I please have your attention?
I regret to inform you
that Paris has fallen
to the Germans, that's all.
- Such times we had in Paris.
- But are we down-hearted?
- I think we are, a little.
- I give you a toast, victory.
- [All] Victory!
(speaking in foreign language)
(upbeat music)
- Shall we?
- You see, a fool.
- But they believe him, I believe him.
- You believe in victory?
- I believe in the
possibility of a future.
You're like Yakimov,
you belong to the past.
- All we have is a past.
All England has is a past.
Soon England will be invaded.
- Nonsense.
- And when England is
lost, and we are left here,
marooned on the wrong side of
Europe, the money running out,
who will knit balaclava helmets for us?
- Nobody can save you, Clarence.
- Wonderful costumes, darling.
- Thank you.
♪ Brighten up the night ♪
♪ I have you, love ♪
♪ And we can face the music together ♪
♪ Dancing in the dark ♪
♪ Till the tune ends,
we're dancing in the dark ♪
♪ And it soon ends ♪
♪ We're waltzing in the wonder ♪
♪ Of why we're here ♪
- Professor Pringle.
- Sorry?
- Sasha, Sasha Drucker.
- Oh, my God, what's happened to you?
- When my father was arrested,
they took me for military service.
I ran away.
I've been hiding here for days.
I couldn't believe it when I saw you.
- You must come home with us.
- Are you hungry?
It's breakfast time, anyway.
- We must be careful.
- We'll be careful,
it's all right, come on.
- I.
- What is it?
- I was a stranger and you took me in.
Isn't that the expression you use?
- Hardly ever, come on.
(upbeat music)
(bird cawing)
(bird wings whooshing)
(dramatic music)
- [Harriet] What's it mean?
- It says.
♪ Come water your horses ♪
♪ All you that are able ♪
♪ Come water your horses ♪
♪ And give them some corn ♪
♪ And he that won't do it ♪
♪ The sergeant shall know it ♪
♪ He shall be whipped ♪
♪ And put in a dark hole ♪
- (sighs) It's cold.
- Come on.
(cat meows)
(door slams)
- [Guy] Ah.
- You going out?
- Yes, we've been summoned to a meeting
with Commander Sheppy.
Shakespeare, yes, I shall need that.
- That secret serviceman?
- Shh, no one is supposed to know.
- Everybody knows, looks as if he's taken
a correspondence course in leadership.
- [Guy] Oh, cheerio, darling.
- Cheerio.
(cat thuds)
(upbeat music)
- What have we here?
- A map.
- But what have we here?
- Does he mean the Danube?
- Well, at a rough guess,
I'd say it was the Danube.
- The Danube, right.
Now, you've been called here today
because you're Englishmen.
Young, robust, patriotic Englishmen
who ought to be on active service,
but for one reason or another are not.
- Do I take it, General--
- Commander.
- Do I take it that
conscientious objectors
have no part in your plans?
- In my world, young man,
there is no such thing
as a conscientious objector.
- [Dubedat] Good afternoon, Commander.
- Right.
- I think I'm a pacifist.
- I should tell him later.
- We'll be forming a striking
force to hit the enemy
where he'll feel it most, the belly.
Last year, 400,000 tons of wheat went
from Romania to Germany.
And how did it get there?
- The Danube?
- The Danube, right, the belly.
We'll be blowing things up.
(men snickering)
Explosions, laddies, explosions.
We'll start with the iron gates.
Remember, this isn't a lark,
but it is an adventure.
There'll be lots of fun, and
we're letting you in on it.
So be prepared, await instructions,
and keep your traps shut.
- Of course, I'm only here as an observer.
- And what do you observe about Sheppy?
(Sheppy laughs dramatically)
- Very amusing, and clinically insane.
(men laughing)
- [Guy] Woo, hello, everyone!
- What have you done?
- [Guy] It's only me.
- Yes, but what's that?
- [Guy] Balaclava helmet,
present from Clarence!
- (laughs) Professor,
(speaking in foreign language).
- It is not a present.
It was knitted by some gallant woman,
probably in West Hartlepool,
(Guy laughs)
for the gallant Polish refugees,
to protect them from the gallant winter.
- I have loaned it to Guy
and it must be returned.
- It's ridiculous, do you
imagine the Poles will miss it?
- I am responsible for the contents
of an entire warehouse
of such gallant garments.
- You're also drunk.
- I want to get drunk.
- You are drunk.
- I want to remain drunk!
- Despina!
- Yes, yes, Domnul Lawson?
(speaking in foreign language)
- Bring us lots of beer.
- [Despina] Oh, lots of
beer, but lots of money.
- Give her lots of money, Clarence.
- Yes, lots of money to buy lots of beer.
- Oh, that will buy only a little beer.
- Well, we already have a little beer.
You go buy a little more.
(all laughing)
(speaking in foreign language)
- Oh, darling, could you put
that somewhere safe for me?
- [Harriet] Yes, of course.
- Yes, and some beer, right.
- It says "most secret."
- Guy is going to blow
up the River Danube,
and thereby bring the war
to an early conclusion.
- Don't sit on the cat!
- Harriet, there are
beggars dying in the snow.
They collect their bodies each morning
with a horse and cart, and
you make a fuss about a cat.
- People are dying.
Is that an argument in
favor of sitting on cats?
- We don't have a cat, do we?
- We have a cat.
That is to say, I have a cat.
- Where do you want me to hide this?
- Shh, don't tell him, secret.
- You won't do it, will you?
- Hmm?
- You won't go on secret missions
to blow up the River Danube?
You'd be hopeless.
You can't even work a box of matches.
Blow yourself up.
- Darling, I can't fight, can I?
But I do loathe and despise fascism.
And I shall do anything
in my power to destroy it.
Now, if some apparent maniac asks me
to blow things up in that cause,
I think I shall do my very best to learn.
And I shall be very careful.
I'll ask someone else
to carry the matches.
(upbeat music)
- I think Yakimov is a spy.
Is he not always telling
us he knows secrets?
But he will not tell us
what those secrets are.
It is no longer safe to be
friendly with the English.
I think we tell everyone
Prince Yakimov is a spy.
- Yakimov!
- Ah, oh!
Oh, dear boy, do you know
I seem to have wandered
into the wrong room?
- Wrong room?
You haven't got a room here!
Sling your hook.
- Dear boy, I really do need
to stay in the center of town.
Meeting friends for dinner.
- You need to stay in the center of town,
hoping somebody turns up
who'll buy you a drink!
- More hungry than thirsty,
to tell you the truth.
I suppose you--
- You won't get nothing more
out of me, you parasite.
- Well, uh, wartime, you know.
English should stick together.
- You stick to people like
shit sticks to a blanket!
- Bit tasteless, dear boy.
- Yakimov, have you got fleas?
(dramatic music)
(suspenseful music)
- [Dobson] If you are not a
resident at the Athenee Palace,
you are not entitled to use their rooms.
- I was a resident.
I only moved out temporarily,
so I took the precaution
of hanging on to a key,
ready for when I move back in.
- And stop making people
think you're a spy.
- Spy, who thinks I'm a spy?
- I've been told you're
spying for the British
and for the Germans.
Apparently, you persuade people,
newspapermen and the like,
that you have valuable information.
- Well, you know, my
friends give me hospitality.
I like to entertain them with stories.
- I see, you invent the
information, in fact.
- When there's no genuine information,
one has to invent.
Like to give value.
- You could end up being shot
by both sides simultaneously.
(knuckles rapping)
Come in.
- Is this Prince Yakimov?
- It is indeed, do you know Foxy Leverett?
- By reputation, of course.
Constant topic of conversation
in the English Bar.
Foxy Leverett, intrepid hero
in daring secret adventures.
- Yes, we'd prefer you
didn't talk about it.
- Lips permanently sealed, dear boy.
- Sit down.
(clock chiming)
- I'm told you have a car.
- A car, well, yes and no.
Fact is, the poor girl's
impounded on the Yugoslav border.
Hispano-Suiza, beauty.
- Held on the border against unpaid debts
which you left in Yugoslavia, it seems.
- Misunderstanding, 35 thou,
I could clear up the whole business
before you can say Veuve Clicquot.
- The fact is, Mr. Yakimov.
- Prince.
- Fact is, I'm slipping over
the border into Yugoslavia,
and it would be a great
help to me if I could
have a motor car in which to slip back.
- My Hispano-Suiza?
- You've got the receipt, keys and so on?
- Oh, yes.
(bell tolling)
- Clarence, can you do me a favor?
- [Clarence] I see no
compelling reason why I should.
- I'm supposed to be
having lunch with Harriet,
but I've been summoned
to an important meeting.
- [Clarence] Sheppy's fighting force?
- I'm not allowed to say.
- [Clarence] Sheppy's fighting force.
- One o'clock, Nestor's.
- But--
- Tell her I'll meet her at the
English Bar at four o'clock.
- What about my own plans for lunch?
- Oh, Clarence, don't be absurd.
You never have plans.
- [Clarence] True.
(upbeat music)
- You're the sort of
woman that men confess to.
- I considered the priesthood,
but I'm not interested in horseracing.
- My father was a clergyman.
- Really, a clergyman and a sadist.
He believed devoutly
in corporal punishment.
He deliberately sent me to a school
that believed in corporal punishment, too.
The great public school
tradition, brutality.
It destroys the human spirit but then,
I suppose that's the intention.
- Is that why you're a pacifist?
- Who told you that?
- You're not a member of
Commander Sheppy's private army.
- I told myself it was pacifism.
Really, I just don't
like to be with people.
Oh, one at a time is sometimes bearable
but more than that, I.
- Guy loves to be with people.
He comes to life in a crowd.
- There's nothing I can do
to help Guy or you or me.
Am I good company?
- Not very.
- Bless you for your beauty
and your honesty. (laughs)
(lively music)
(both laughing)
- We could walk to the hotel.
- I drive better like this.
(car engine roars)
- My friends, I think.
Fellow English spies.
Dear girl, how nice to see a human face.
I say, you don't think I'm a spy, do you?
- Have you seen Guy?
- Well, no, I can't say
that I have, dear girl.
Eager to help.
- Would you like a drink?
- Thanks, dear boy, might just struggle
through a soupçon of brandy.
- Nothing for me.
- Two brandies.
- Have you seen Guy?
- Sorry, dear.
- He was supposed to be
here half an hour ago.
- What price the fate of one individual
when nations are toppling by the minute?
- They all talk like their
newspapers, these chaps.
- Best plan, stick to the sporting life.
- Has something happened?
- Hungary's mobilizing,
German troops flooding in.
All the lines to Budapest are dead.
It'll be our turn next.
- Aren't the passes blocked with snow?
- Oh, that old story.
Snow didn't stop Hannibal.
Won't stop the Germans.
- The Romanians said they would fight.
- (laughs) Have you
seen the Romanian army?
Bunch of half-starved peasants,
wouldn't go three rounds
with the Crazy Gang.
- [Yakimov] Is this true about Hungary?
- [Galpin] True enough for my paper.
- Might as well have another drink.
Doubt if we'll get one in Berlin.
- Good thinking, Harry, fill ups!
- We're both drinking brandy.
- I can't decide what
sort of bastard you are.
- Nor can anyone else, dear boy.
- I'm going to look for Guy.
If he comes here, tell
him I'm at the university
or the Information Bureau.
Or in the lake.
- The lake's frozen.
- I enjoy a challenge!
(men laughing)
There's a rumor Germany's invaded Hungary.
Do you believe it?
- That could be.
Doesn't mean they'll come here.
Hungary's more important to
the Germans than Romania.
- Thank you, everybody
thinks the Germans will come.
- If Germany can get what
she needs from Romania
without the trouble of
conquering the place,
she'll be very happy to do so.
And no, Harriet, I'm afraid
I haven't seen your husband.
He does tend to disappear
without trace for hours on end.
- I'm afraid he's gone
off with Commander Sheppy
on one of those insane
sabotage expeditions.
- Sabotage?
- It's all most secret,
but I gather it's about
blowing up the River Danube.
Dynamiting the iron gates,
detonators down oil wells.
- Yes, I see.
Um, I think you'd better
leave this one to me, Harriet.
- But where is Guy?
- That is of no immediate importance.
My concern is an important
question of principle.
He'll turn up.
You know he'll turn up.
He'll go on turning up for
the rest of your married life.
(door slams)
- Oh, hi, darling.
- Where on earth have you been?
- I just--
- Don't you realize
the Germans have invaded Hungary?
They could well be invading
Romania at this very moment.
- Have you been talking to Galpin?
- Yes, but it could still be true.
- I heard the rumors.
I rang the British Legation.
There had been a breakdown
on the line to Budapest.
The line has now been restored.
No one has invaded Hungary,
and no one is going to invade Romania.
- You weren't in the
English Bar at four o'clock.
- Well, I glanced in,
and you weren't there.
I can't be precise
exactly what time it was.
Then I met Dubedat,
and he was going to see a
rather interesting French film,
so I thought--
- You've been to the pictures?
- Well, you weren't in the English Bar.
- You were at the pictures!
- Well, it was a Rene Clair film.
- Why haven't you been
blowing up oil wells?
- I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.
- I was promised lunch with my husband!
Instead of which I had two
hours of soul-searching
with Clarence Lawson!
And for the next two hours,
I played hunt for Guy
with no success!
I was worried, damn you, worried!
I thought you might be dead!
Instead of which you were at
the pictures with Dubedat,
of all people!
- You see, it was stupid to worry.
- That's why I'm angry!
Because I was stupid!
(cat meows)
(cat purrs)
Are you reading the whole of Shakespeare?
- Rereading.
- Why?
- I like Shakespeare.
- I like my cat.
(dramatic music)
- [Guy] "A harmless necessary cat."
- Is that Shakespeare?
- "Merchant of Venice."
- "Have I not hands, organs,
"senses, dimensions, passions"
- Sorry, darling?
- It doesn't matter.
Goodnight, sweet prince.
(water burbling)
(water dripping)
(water burbling)
(rain patters)
- Good evening.
- Good evening, sir.
- Thank you.
- Merci.
- Guy, hello, Harriet.
I've just come from your friend,
the mysterious Commander Sheppy.
- Oh, do I know him?
- I informed him that whosoever he may be,
he has no jurisdiction over my men.
Now, Guy, I can well
understand your wanting
to do something more
dramatic than lecturing,
but the situation does not permit.
It just does not permit.
You're here to obey orders, my orders.
- Professor Inchcape, you must
know that the King is about
to announce an amnesty for the Iron Guard.
- I've heard today's rumors, yes.
- In other words, we are on the brink
of a fascist takeover in this country.
People are in prison without
trial or any prospect of trial.
Nobody knows what's become
of the Drucker family.
Sasha Drucker, my own student,
has disappeared without trace.
And you want me to answer this situation
just by giving lectures?
- Well, if you want to help,
you can do some clerical
work at the Legation.
You can hang up posters
at the Information Bureau.
You could help Lawson at
the Polish Relief Center.
- Oh, yes, help him
catalog his balaclavas.
- Guy, you are many things to many people,
but you are not a warrior.
And you're well out of it.
(Guy sighs)
- Well, somebody must have told him.
This Sheppy thing was secret.
- A secret that everybody
in Bucharest knew about.
But I told him.
Are we going for lunch now?
- No!
- Well, where are you going?
- That's my business.
(men yelling)
(gentle music)
- Where can poor Yaki go?
- [Woman] Pay me my money!
- What about my belongings?
A chap can't go about starkers!
- Pay me my money!
- Look, I'm expecting my
remittance any day, dear girl.
It's probably delayed in the post.
There's a war on, you know!
- Pay me my money!
- "Pay me my money!"
(plate shatters)
Hello, dear boy.
- Hello, darling.
- [Harriet] Hello.
- I've got a surprise for you.
- A nice surprise?
- Yes.
- I'm going to take you
away for the weekend.
- A holiday?
- In the mountains.
(Guys chuckles)
- Better now?
- Better, thank you.
- And while we're away,
Prince Yakimov's gonna
look after the flat for us.
(floor creaks)
(knuckles rapping)
Darling, he's ill.
He's hungry, he's been
turned out of his lodgings.
- He's a scrounger and a glutton.
- We must help him, not
because he's a good person,
because he needs help.
- Why can't you find
some good people to help?
- Well, Yakimov's not bad.
If the world was composed of Yakimovs,
there'd be no wars, would there?
- There'd be no anything.
- [Guy] Come into the room.
Be nice to him.
(cat purring)
(cat meows)
(dramatic music)
- How kind of beauty to
feed her poor old Yak.
- Isn't it beautiful?
- Hmm, it has some good moments.
It has some very good moments.
- I'm talking about the mountains.
- Oh, the mountains?
- [Harriet] You do agree,
the mountains have some good moments.
- Well, I really need my
distance glasses, darling.
- Can you see me without
your distance glasses?
- Of course I can, darling.
- And what do you see?
- I see you.
If I look very closely,
I can see myself reflected in your eyes.
- You can see yourself
reflected in anybody's eyes.
- Ah, it's not the same.
You're my wife.
I married you.
You're part of myself.
- And am I part of you?
- Naturally, I mean, the
exact proportions may vary,
but basically you are.
- I love you.
- I know.
- Read your book.
- Right.
- "Troilus and Cressida?"
- Yes, that's the one.
- The one?
- Hmm.
I'm going to put it on
at the National Theatre.
- In Bucharest?
- Yes.
- Have you told anyone?
- No, I've just decided.
I think two or three
phone calls should do it.
- But Guy, there are 28 speaking parts.
- Yes, well, I shall
ask some of my students
to carry spears.
- You need 28 people who can
speak English, learn the lines,
spare the time for
rehearsals and remain sober.
- 27.
- 28.
- 27, Cressida.
(door slams)
(Harriet laughing)
- [Harriet] You're quite
sure he'll have gone?
- Of course, we sent the telegram
and I told him quite
firmly that the invitation
to stay only covered the weekend.
(Yakimov snoring)
- Wake up!
(Yakimov yells)
We expected you would be gone!
- Oh, well, you know, I was
going this very day, dear girl.
Wanted to welcome you back.
Hear all about the trip.
- Get out of our bed.
- Oh, dear boy, I should,
poor old Yaki's rather a sick man.
Perhaps I should take a bath.
(Yakimov singing in foreign language)
- It doesn't take me two
hours to have a bath.
- Oh, come on, darling, be charitable.
- This is my home.
I can't share it with someone I despise.
(Harriet sighs)
Have you seen the cat?
- Well, to be truthful, darling,
I haven't looked for the cat.
(door slams)
- Ah, Despina. (speaking
in foreign language)
(speaking in foreign language)
There's no need to do that.
Just tell me where the cat is.
- (speaking in foreign
language) Mrs. Pringle.
- Dead?
- Dead. (speaking in foreign language)
- Well, how did it happen?
- I am cleaning room,
cat go on the balcony,
then to next door balcony.
(speaking in foreign language)
No like cats, makes like this, cats!
Cat falls down, I found it.
No pain, death instant,
Mrs. Pringle, I'm so sorry.
- Where was Yakimov when this happened?
- Ah, that one!
He eat and eat and sleep
and sleep all the time!
(Yakimov speaks faintly)
- You killed my cat.
- Oh, no, hands clean,
dearest one, verdict suicide.
- (gasps) Mrs. Pringle,
all the time he eat and eat
and sleep and sleep!
- Yaki, how would you
like to play Pandarus?
- Not very good at card games, dear boy.
- You killed my cat.
- With deepest sympathy, much
love, condolences in your sad.
Wife seems a little upset.
(Harriet sobbing)
- You will only understand English poetry
when you understand that English
poets, without exception,
have always been over-privileged,
pampered, myopic,
narrow-minded and, for the most part,
alcoholic and homosexual.
Personally, I'd rather listen
to a Liverpool docker any day of the week.
- Psst.
- But.
- How would you like to play Thersites?
- Who the hell's Thersites?
- Well, Shakespeare
describes him as a deformed
and scurrilous Greek.
- All right if I play him
as a sniveling, working-class lout?
- Exactly what I had in mind, thank you.
- So, you want me to play Ulysses?
- You would be perfect.
- He always struck me
as a thoroughly decent fellow, Ulysses.
No speeches, but still.
- Agamemnon?
- Helen of Troy?
- Achilles, what sort of chap is he?
- A Greek commander.
- Officer class?
- Absolutely.
- The trouble is, Pringle,
I'll be over the border
into foreign parts any day now.
- Yugoslavia?
- Not in a position to say.
- But what about you?
- Him?
- Not a chance, old son.
Hate and despise William Shakespeare.
- Why?
- Because the bastard reminds me
what I do to the English language.
- [Galpin] Harry, fill ups.
- "Ay, do, do, thou sodden-witted lord!
"Thou hast no more brain
than I have in mine elbow.
"An asinego may tutor thee,
"you scurvy-valiant ass!
"Thou art here but to thrash Trojans.
"Thou art bought and sold amongst those
"of any wit like a barbarian slave.
"If thou use to beat me, I
will begin at thy heels!"
- "You dog!"
- "You scurvy lord!"
- "You cur!"
- Yes, and then you hit him.
Very good, very good, excellent.
Yes, now, ah, darling and Yaki,
would you like to dip your toes
into Act One, Scene Two?
Very good, excellent.
- Couldn't we just read the play through
from start to finish?
I can't tell what the story's about.
- Yes, very good, Bella.
It's just if we can, at this point,
begin to feel our way into the characters,
I think we can just come back
to the story anytime, okay?
Thank you, now, if you'd like to begin
at the point I mentioned earlier?
- Hector passes, dear boy?
- Yes, absolutely.
(clock ticks)
- I thought you were wonderful tonight.
- Did you?
- Mm.
- Hmm!
- The way you enthuse everyone.
It's really amateur dramatics,
but everybody went home feeling
it's the most important
thing in the whole world.
- Well, it is, really.
We'll start proper rehearsals
at the university tomorrow.
Darling, would you mind
having a go at the costumes?
- Costumes, I thought
I was playing Cressida.
- Well, I think you'd be so
much more useful doing costumes.
And of course, if you did the costumes,
you wouldn't really have
time to play Cressida.
- Would this, by any chance,
be a most secret message
meaning you have someone else
in mind to play Cressida?
- Well, only if you can
manage the costumes.
- Who's playing Cressida?
- Sophie.
- Sophie.
- Well, I understand she's
been very depressed lately,
so I thought that if.
(bombs booming)
- Who's bombing who, dear boy?
(airplane engine roaring)
- The Germans are bombing Norway.
- Ah, miles away.
There's a countenance.
"It's not a brave man?
"Is a not?"
(siren blares)
"Does a man's heart good"
- Shh.
(bomb booms)
- "Why should a man be
proud, how doth pride grow?
"I know not what pride is," pause.
"I-I"
- "I do hate"
- "I do hate a proud man
"as I do hate the engendering of toads."
- [Harriet] Everybody
in Bucharest is talking
in Elizabethan prose or blank verse.
- [Dubedat] "The engendering of toads."
What does it mean?
Does it mean anything?
Does any of it mean anything?
The Germans will be here
before the first night, anyway.
- I've never seen Guy so happy.
(man speaking in foreign language)
- I'm going to walk out of the show.
- Whatever for?
- His behavior.
Casting that bitch Sophie in your place.
(man speaking in foreign language)
- Isn't one bitch much
the same as any other?
- No, Harriet, the answer is no.
- That's very good, darling.
This time, go a little
further back and uh,
try from "Good uncle, I beseech you."
Give yourself a run at
it, whenever you're ready.
- "Good uncle, I beseech you,
on my knees I beseech you,
"what's the matter?"
- "Thou must be gone,
wench, thou must be gone."
Get down on my knees.
- Down, down, down.
- "Thou are changing."
- Did you do these?
- Mm.
I drew them, yes.
I copied the costumes from books.
I've improved them, though.
Guy wanted to do it in modern dress.
- Helen of Troy, in modern dress?
And he's supposed to be
the intellectual, oh, God.
- [Harriet] The press has arrived.
- Very good, when you're ready,
begin speaking.
- "Thou must to thy father,
"and be gone from Troilus
'twill be his death,
'twill be his bane, he cannot bear it."
- [Sophie] "O you immortal
gods, I will not go."
- [Yakimov] "Thou must."
- I thought you hated Shakespeare.
- Well, I like a good story.
- Is this a good story?
- Europe in flames.
German army crashing through
Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg,
and the English in
exile doing Shakespeare?
It's great stuff.
Only trouble is, I can't decide
whether it's a defiant gesture
in the face of the enemy
or a shameful waste of
time and money in the midst
of a national crisis.
What do you think?
- I blame capitalist imperialism.
- Of course you do, I was forgetting.
Oh, do I spy the turd Yakimov?
- [Dubedat] Yeah, and
he's gonna steal the show.
- Well, fellow's a natural born thief.
- [Sophie] "Upon my
back, to defend my belly,
"upon my wit to defend my wiles,
"upon my secrecy to defend mine honesty,
"my mask to defend my beauty,
"and you to defend all these,
"and at all these wards I lie,
"at a thousand watches."
- Very good, very good, darling.
One, one note only, which is to enjoy it.
- You needn't worry.
He's only interested in art.
- Now, if I could have
your attention, please!
Hearken unto me.
I have now been able to finalize dates.
We shall give two
performances on June the 14th
in the National Theatre.
Now, the first one will be in
the afternoon for students,
and the evening performance for grownups.
Now, the proceeds will go to
a special fund I've set up
with Dubedat for the
housing of poor students.
(crowd clapping)
Now, that means we have
just over three weeks,
so I shall expect you all to
work even harder than hitherto,
so stiffen the sinews,
summon up the blood,
and be careful where
you stick your spears.
(audience laughs)
Now, any problems, questions,
nervous breakdowns?
Front page news?
- Yep, I've got some front page news.
Another strategic withdrawal.
- Where now, Holland, Belgium?
- The Germans have invaded the English Bar
at the Athenee Palace.
(crowd murmuring)
(people chattering)
- Who are all these ghastly people?
- [Galpin] Businessmen, embassy officials,
spies, even journalists, God help us.
- [Man] Switch who was doing your driving.
Should he be gone.
- Oh, yeah, definitely.
- It'll be The Drinking
Song from The Student Prince
into the small hours.
- There's a garden at
the back of the hotel
we could drink in.
It's very pretty.
- You mean the open air?
- Yes, but just as a
temporary measure, you know.
- Fresh air brings on my cough.
- Come on, let's go to the garden.
- Mm, we shall return!
- [Commentator] We shall
fight with growing confidence
and growing strength in the air.
We shall defend our island,
whatever the cost maybe.
We shall fight on the beaches,
we shall fight on the landing grounds.
We shall fight in the
fields and in the streets.
We shall fight in the hills.
We shall never surrender.
(dramatic music)
(man groans)
- Brilliant audience, all
our best families are here,
and all on their uppers.
I just wonder who paid
for their seats, hmm?
(actors speaking faintly)
- Cue the music.
(upbeat music)
House lights out.
(audience applauds)
- In Troy, there lies the scene.
From Isles of Greece the princes orgulous,
their high blood chafed,
have to the port of
Athens sent their ships,
fraught with the ministers
and instruments of cruel war.
Like or find fault,
do as your pleasures are.
Now good or bad,
'tis but the chance of war.
(airplane engine roars)
(dramatic music)
(bomb booming)
Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back,
wherein he puts arms for oblivion,
a great-sized monster of ingratitudes.
Those scraps are good deeds past,
which are devoured as
fast as they are made,
forgot as soon as done.
(somber music)
So Ilion, fall thou next!
- Come, Troy, sink down!
Here lies thy heart,
thy sinews and thy bone.
On Myrmidons, and cry you all amain,
"Achilles hath the mighty Hector slain."
The dragon wing of night
overspreads the earth,
and stickler-like, the armies separates.
My half-supp'd sword, that
frankly would have fed,
pleased with this dainty bait,
thus goes to bed.
- Full merrily, the humble-bee doth sing,
till he hath lost his honey and his sting.
And being once subdued in armed tail,
sweet honey and sweet notes together fail.
Good traders in the flesh, set
this in your painted cloths.
As many as be here of pander's hall,
your eyes, half out, weep
out at Pandar's fall.
Or if you cannot weep,
yet give some groans,
though not for me, yet
for your aching bones.
Till then I'll sweat
and seek about for eases,
and at that time bequeath you my diseases.
(audience applauds)
(speaking faintly)
- Okay, stand by.
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
- Bravo.
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
(dramatic music)
(audience applauds)
- Bravo, go on.
(upbeat music)
- Ah, darling!
- Congratulations.
It was a tremendous success.
- It wasn't bad, was it?
When I do another one I--
- Surely not another?
- But I thought you enjoyed it.
- Wonderful costumes, Harriet.
- Thank you, wonderful Ulysses.
- Well, one does one's best.
- I thought Dubedat was
rather good, considering.
- He knows how to exploit
his natural unpleasantness.
Oh, uh, would you excuse me a moment?
- Yes, of course.
- You could save me, Harriet.
- Why should I have to save you?
- They're bound to send
me back to London soon.
Come with me.
- Come with you?
- Yes.
- I haven't been married a year,
and already I'm being propositioned.
- [Clarence] Your husband is a fool.
- I'd rather have a fool
who believes in something
than a fool who believes in nothing.
- Ladies and gentlemen, may
I please have your attention?
I regret to inform you
that Paris has fallen
to the Germans, that's all.
- Such times we had in Paris.
- But are we down-hearted?
- I think we are, a little.
- I give you a toast, victory.
- [All] Victory!
(speaking in foreign language)
(upbeat music)
- Shall we?
- You see, a fool.
- But they believe him, I believe him.
- You believe in victory?
- I believe in the
possibility of a future.
You're like Yakimov,
you belong to the past.
- All we have is a past.
All England has is a past.
Soon England will be invaded.
- Nonsense.
- And when England is
lost, and we are left here,
marooned on the wrong side of
Europe, the money running out,
who will knit balaclava helmets for us?
- Nobody can save you, Clarence.
- Wonderful costumes, darling.
- Thank you.
♪ Brighten up the night ♪
♪ I have you, love ♪
♪ And we can face the music together ♪
♪ Dancing in the dark ♪
♪ Till the tune ends,
we're dancing in the dark ♪
♪ And it soon ends ♪
♪ We're waltzing in the wonder ♪
♪ Of why we're here ♪
- Professor Pringle.
- Sorry?
- Sasha, Sasha Drucker.
- Oh, my God, what's happened to you?
- When my father was arrested,
they took me for military service.
I ran away.
I've been hiding here for days.
I couldn't believe it when I saw you.
- You must come home with us.
- Are you hungry?
It's breakfast time, anyway.
- We must be careful.
- We'll be careful,
it's all right, come on.
- I.
- What is it?
- I was a stranger and you took me in.
Isn't that the expression you use?
- Hardly ever, come on.
(upbeat music)