Fleishman Is in Trouble (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Summon Your Witnesses - full transcript

Toby Fleishman awoke
one morning inside the city

he'd lived in all
his adult life,

which was suddenly, somehow,
now crawling with women

who wanted him.

Not just any women.

Women who were self-actualized
and independent

and who knew what they wanted.

Women who seemed kind.

Women who seemed
motivated and available.

But also some who just sent
over a picture of a G-string.

Or their side boob.



Or their underboob.

Or their just
plain regular boob.

It was more than a
newly divorced man

could take after 15
years of marriage.

All this, after a youth
full of romantic rejection.

All this, after placing a
lifetime bet on one woman.

Who could have predicted this?

Who could have predicted

that there was such
life in him yet?

But these women were
not objects to Toby.

They were his mentors.

No, they were his heroes.

They were teaching him how to
live now that he was suddenly,

somehow, no longer
living with Rachel.



Each morning he would wake up

with an overwhelming
sense of panic

in that new apartment of his.

Where was he? Where was she?

Where was his home?

"Something is
wrong," he'd think.

"I am in trouble."

For Rachel was no
longer in bed with him.

She was no longer in the
kitchen, griping about her day.

Now I'm gonna have to spend
whole day cleaning up that mess

with a lunch I don't
even have time for.

She was no longer just
coming home from the gym

in a less black mood than usual.

It was a disaster. It
was a complete disaster.

Maybe it will be
fine. I don't know.

Oh, I'll be home late,

so I'll need that
prescription picked up.

She was no longer
applying a thick layer

of black liquid eyeliner
to her upper lid

with the precision of
an arthroscopy robot.

Are the kids ready already?

But on this particular morning,

she was also not in
the much nicer home

that was just hers now.

A spot opened
up at that yoga thing

I was trying to get into
upstate... Everglade...

So, uh, the kids
are with you FYI.

FYI? FYI, I dropped the
kids off a day early?

What the hell were you thinking?

I said a spot opened up.

Yeah, well they're not groceries,
okay? They are children.

What if I hadn't
checked my phone?

What if I had been
called into the hospital

in the middle of the night?

Well, that didn't
happen, right? Good news.

Well, I have plans
tonight, alright?

I'm not supposed to have
them until tomorrow.

It's just one
night. Call Mona.

Hey, I want to be with them
when I have them, alright?

I don't want to just
leave them with a sitter.

That's you.

Wow, I didn't think you
could say anything shittier

than you said last night.

You should have been this
aggressive in your career.

Okay, that's very
nice. Very mature.

They went back and forth
like that for a while.

All the while, Toby
tried to remember

exactly what he'd said
last night that was so bad.

But he couldn't remember.

I just can't believe you
would do that to the kids.

Like, waking them up like that.

I have to secure my oxygen
mask, you know, before theirs.

Of course, your
oxygen, I forgot.

Listen, it's been a hard month.
I just need some me time.

I-I ha... All of your
time is you time, Rachel.

These days, he only
ever said her name

at the end of sentences.

Alright, I got to go,
okay? I'm running late now.

Which was just as well
because his boner was gone.

Alright, come on,
guys. Let's go.

I'm so tired.

Well, I am excited 'cause
I get you a full day early.

And here, I think your mother
left some clothes for you here.

There you go.

These are for the Hamptons.
These aren't for camp.

The subtext of everything
Hannah said these days was,

"You fucking idiot."

I wanted Corn Chex, not Flakes.

You fucking idiot.

Okay.

Mm, Hannah, these corn
flakes are amazing.

You have to try them.

Okay. Alright.

Mwah!

Thank you, buddy.

We got to go. We got to go.

Come on, come on.

Of all the ways
Toby so far resented

Rachel's mismanagement
of that morning,

the biggest was an unplanned
visit to that den of dread,

that locus of a late-capitalist
society, the 92nd Street Y.

Forget what you know
about Y's in general,

this place with its
ridiculous parent population

and a nursery school
you had to put your kids

on the waiting list
for at conception

was as infected by
the Upper East Side

as anything else that
came into contact with it.

Okay, bye, Hannah.

Toby, hey. Fancy
seeing you here.

Hey. Where's Rachel?

Working as always?
Yeah.

Agency won't run
itself, I guess.

Hey, that's her line.

Rachel was a theater agent,
best known as the person

who discovered Alejandra Lopez,
the creator of "Presidentrix!"

It was so brilliant that it set

the New York theater-going
world on fire

and reinvented Broadway.

"Presidentrix!"
was everywhere.

There were parodies.

You're
just the wife!

I'm just
I'm just something.

Alright, look,
hold your applause.

And, oh, boy
was there some merch.

Take care. Thanks, yeah.

She had a swear on her shirt.

Yeah, ignore it.

Okay, I'll see you later, Solly.

You're picking
us up? Not Mona?

Yeah, it's all me.

Toby.

I keep meaning to
reach out to you.

How are you doing? How
are the kids doing?

Ah, well, we're okay. I mean,
it's a change, for sure.

I've been waiting
to run into you

to tell you myself what
I hope you already know,

but we're not leaving your life.

We're not going anywhere, Toby.

We are your friends too.

It never didn't
shock him that this

was who Rachel cared about.

As a measure of self protection,

Toby thought about
a physical therapist

he had slept with a
few nights before.

He couldn't quite
remember her name.

Jamie? Jasmine?

Jill?

Had things been hard long?

Um... yes. I mean, no.

I mean, it wasn't like a... like a
spur-of-the-moment decision or anything,

if that's what you're asking.

But Cyndi wanted information.

These days, everyone did.

Well, did you have a date night?

Were you fighting at that
parent-teacher conference?

But you looked so happy
at the spring gala.

The questions were never
really about the Fleishmans,

but about the
person's own marriage.

Do we argue too much? Are
our fights too vicious?

Do we have enough sex?
Are we too miserable?

How miserable is too miserable?

Jenny!

The physical therapist's
name was Jenny!

Well, obviously the girls
are still thick as thieves.

So you can count on us to make
sure nothing changes that.

Sorry. Uh...

We're here for you.

Ah!

Hoping
we're still on for tonight.

Sorry, this is work. I
have, um... I have a biopsy.

You're still at the hospital?

Well, you know, people are
still getting sick, so,

supply and demand. Yeah.

Yeah, anyway, it was
great to see you.

Hey, look, really, really,
we got to do dinner

sometime with the kids

'cause we had so
much fun last time.

But had they?

It's 40 years old. It's
made by these Roman monks.

They only make
eight cases a year.

Mm. I taste that.

Mm-hmm. I want in.

I have a hookup.
Can't say who.

Come on, man.

It was the same
crowd every time.

Rachel's school-mom
friends whose husbands

were a chronic condition
that Toby had to manage.

There was Todd Leffer, who
was a portfolio manager

at a distressed debt fund

and who didn't not
have a photo of himself

next to a dead giraffe
and a live Trump son.

There was Rich Hertz, whose
name was literally Rich

and whose father had made
his fortune in the '80s

by buying up life
insurance policies

on people who had AIDS.

And then there was the
alpha homecoming king,

Sam Rothberg, a vice president
at a pharmaceutical company

who rose to prominence
pushing Vicodin

on every housewife
in the country,

except for his own wife,

who was already
besotted with Xanax.

So, um, how's the
liver business, my man?

Well, you know, people
still get sick, so...

You know what? Let me
ask you something, Toby.

If your kids said that they
wanted to get into medicine,

what would you say?

No, no, no, you
don't get it, okay?

It was an insult. He was
insulting me, alright?

This is the guy who made
his money by buying up

underwater mortgages in states
with expedited eviction laws

so they can kick out the
tenants and go condo.

And he thinks he could ask me

if I would ever lead my poor
children into my shameful life?

Well, would you?

Mrs. Fields. Hi.

This is Dr. Fleishman.
Is now a good time?

By the time he was done
with his residency,

medicine had undergone
such upheaval

that suddenly even
being a specialist

at a top hospital in Manhattan

wouldn't earn enough to
offer Rachel the lifestyle

to which she so badly
wanted to become accustomed.

She never understood that
his job was its own reward

and its own comfort.

Particularly in those
first delicate weeks

following his divorce.

And Clay, what is the
most common vascular mass?

Uh, hepatocellular carcinoma.

That would be correct if
a hepatocellular carcinoma

were either vascular or
the most common anything.

It's hemangioma.

I'm sorry, Clay. I, um...

Listen, guys, I don't
know if this is, like,

an appropriate thing, but
I'm gonna say it anyway.

I'm getting a divorce.

I don't mean to be an
asshole. If I am, forgive me.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay.

So, uh, what are you doing now?

We saw a psychologist
to figure out

how to make sure the kids
are okay with everything.

I moved into a new
place recently.

Great, but are you...
are you on the apps yet?

What?

Okay, this is gonna be fun.

I had a Jdate account
when people had...

Do people have Jdate accounts?
This is totally different.

It's not that different.
It's still scary.

Well, you still do it.

Yes, I do.

Okay, so there's a couple.

Yeah. Okay, and what is this?

Sorry, what am I looking at?

So that's her lighthouse.

Her lighthouse? Mm-hmm.

You know, uh, it's to
indicate a person's readiness.

Her readiness?

Like if she's available.

Okay. And horny.

Okay, wait, sorry.
You do this too?

You see what I mean?

Okay. Thank you. I'm
gonna... we'll table this.

Uh, we have patients to
get to. Right, right.

Uh, those lives will not
save themselves, right?

Get me to the OR, stat.

I mean, you are playing God.

Yeah, no one's dying
tonight. Not on my watch.

He watched the apps
passively for a week or two,

not engaging at all...

See you Monday.

Until one weekend.

Rachel had taken the
kids out to the Hamptons.

It was his first-ever
weekend without them,

and he missed them so much
he thought he might die.

The app asked him, "What
is your fave movie?"

"The Graduate."

It was "Twister."

The app asked him,

"How do you like to
spend a rainy Saturday?"

Doing a crossword puzzle.

Watching porn and masturbating?

"Fave food?"

Caesar salad. With shrimp.

It was steamed chicken
and vegetables...

No sauce, no oil.

"What is your sun,
moon, and ascendant?"

What is an ascendant?

Maybe he had tried to pump
himself up in some answers,

but he'd been honest
about the important stuff.

And then it asked,
"How single are you?"

I'm divorced.

That was true.

The app needed a pic.

Hey, you. Hi. Hi.

Hi. How are you?

Tongue emoji. You're cute.

You're a doctor?

Good for you. Vampire emoji.

Where do you live?
Where do you live?

I live in Brooklyn. I
have a place in Queens.

Like a doctor in a hospital
or a doctor of English?

Octopus emoji. Remind
me where the liver is?

If you're an asshole... Please know
I've been down that road before.

And, no, thank you.
I grew up in LA, too.

Well, friends, he lost
a full Saturday right there.

Sitting here alone.

So I went into social work.
And I miss it all the time.

I think I've had
too much to drink.

Fingers-crossed emoji.

And then
the whole weekend.

Winding down with
a glass of wine.

I'm into older guys. You
remind me of someone.

Grandpa emoji. You're hot.

"Angry with possible smoke coming
from sides of the mouth" emoji...

You have to understand
that Toby was not exactly

a desired property in his youth.

You're so handsome.

Where have you been all my life?

"Possible samba and
evening gown" emoji.

Glass of milk emoji.

Enough about me.
What about you?

My dad was a doctor, too.

Purple-devil emoji.

By late Sunday, his cheeks hurt
from expressing joy and wonder.

His wrist and hand were
sore from repetitive stress.

So, am I going to get to
see that cute face soon?

But then, he suddenly
realized... this was real,

very little on
earth stands still,

that forward momentum
is always available

to pluck you from your sadness

and invite you to
rejoin the living.

So, am I seeing you...
Question mark, question mark.

Don't leave me hanging, cutie.

Sorry. Yes.

Looking forward to it.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Joanie.

Hi. Yeah, I am on my way up.

Look at that.

Look at that.
It's good as new.

Mm. No scarring.

It's like nothing ever happened.

Huh. Y-You have
to love the liver.

I mean, seriously, show me
a more life-affirming organ.

I mean, look at it. Look what it...
Look what it can recover from.

We should all be
more like the liver.

Livers behave in
some erratic ways...

I mean, all the organs do,
but the liver is unique

in the way that it heals.

It's full of
forgiveness, you know?

It understands that
you need a few chances

before you get your life right.

And it doesn't just forgive
you... you know, it...

You know, it
practically forgets.

On the darkest
days of his marriage,

Toby attended to his
hospital business.

Out of the corner of his
eyes was always the liver,

whispering to him that one day
there would not be much sign

of all of this damage, that
he would regenerate too.

Toby, we have a new
patient up from the E.R.

Oh, that's great.
Yeah. Let's go.

I'm a liver specialist.

I was called in because
your wife is jaundiced.

Right. Okay.

Do you want to... you want
to tell us what happened?

She was slurring, uh, a
little, and not making sense.

She was clumsier than usual.

Um, finally, I said we
should go to s-see a doctor.

And then we got in the
car, and on the way,

s-she, uh... she passed out.

Maybe she's asleep?

Uh, well... well, we're
gonna figure that out.

She's in good hands now.

Nurse Ortiz is going to show
you to our family lounge,

and we are going to
examine your wife

and figure out
what's going on here.

So, what's going on here?

Yeah, it's alcoholic cirrhosis.
She went on a bender.

Probably been a secret
drinker for years.

Okay. You seem pretty
sure about that. Joanie?

He said she was slurring.

Okay. Uh, what did
he actually say?

Uh, he said she was
clumsy and slurring.

She's a drunk.

Phillip. I'm sorry.

Alcoholic. A person
with alcoholism.

An alcoholic-American.
Yeah, okay.

Listen, the husband, he said

that she was
clumsier than usual.

So whatever this is,
it's been going on longer

than just the last week.

Uh, what else? Uh, is
she on an antidepressant?

She's on Zoloft
as of a month ago.

How'd you know that?

Get her internist on the phone.

Okay.

You saw her a month ago,
and you prescribed Zoloft.

Well, she said
she was feeling down.

Her AST/ALT wasn't elevated?

I didn't check LFTs.
You didn't check.

Okay, well, she
has an AST of 145

and an ALT of 103
and a bili of 14.

She is en... encephalopathic
and coagulopathic.

Her total cholesterol is
98. She's in liver failure.

She's as yellow
as a highlighter.

Listen, my whole practice
is these women in their 40s

who suddenly become
depressed and start drinking

more than they should at lunch.

Really? Okay,
well, good for you.

I got to go treat your
patient now.

Sorry. You shouldn't do that.

Alright, here's the thing... This
woman's doctor could have helped her

if he had actually
taken her seriously.

You know, she wouldn't be
having neurological symptoms,

and she probably wouldn't
have a failing liver.

Guys, insurance is not going to
pay for more than 15 minutes.

You still have
to listen. Okay?

You have to take
that time as a loss.

You have to ask questions
and give a shit.

What did our
friend Dr. Osler say?

You remember? Mm-hmm.

Listen to the patient.

She is telling
you her diagnosis.

Okay. So go ahead.
Look harder.

Oh, my God.

Patient has a ring of
copper around her iris.

It's Wilson's.

Yeah. Yeah. I've only
seen it once before.

Oh!

Do you see that? God, it's...

It's so beautiful. Yeah.

As life-threatening diseases
go, it is a pretty one.

It means her body
doesn't process copper.

So usually it presents as
what you called clumsiness.

And then all it takes is
one big night of drinking

for something like
this to happen.

She went to, uh, Vegas
with friends last weekend

for, like, a bachelorette thing.

Okay, so that's actually
really good to know.

And Dr. Clifton
here will take a...

A more detailed history, okay?

And what do I do?

Well, you call your job and tell
them you need a few days off,

and then you call your
family and friends

and tell them what's going on
so they can help with your kids.

And we will tell you when
we know something, alright?

Alright. Take care.

Thanks. Yeah.

So, never? I'm a middle-aged
housewife now. I've been domesticated.

You're a legend.

Not... Not pot? Not
even cigarettes?

Cigarettes? Hey.

Are you crazy?

What would the other
mothers even say about me?

I'd be a pariah.

Do you realize that the
only thing our Libby here

ever inhales into her lungs anymore
is the New Jersey pollution?

Yes. She grew up. As a doctor,
I endorse this. Thank you.

I knew this guy who lived
literally beneath a cave...

Not in it, beneath
it... In Argentina.

And he grew this
one strain of pot

that he combined
with this extract,

so you're high, but you
don't know you're high.

Sorry. Uh, what
does that even mean?

But I think I want
to know if I'm high.

Am I... Am I high right
now? Am I high right now?

No. Mm. I'd be hungrier
if I were high.

I'm not. Not hungry?

Telltale sign.

You ready? Wait a
minute. I am hungry.

Um... Tuna sandwich, please.

Yeah, thanks. Wait.
Yeah. Excuse me.

Sorry, I don't know
if you realize this,

but the American
Medical Association

now recommends eating tuna fish
like once a month, if that.

Got it. Well, those
people are animals,

so a tuna sandwich
would be amazing.

Thank you.

I'm gonna have the Lumberjack,

and can I have a grilled
cheese on the side?

Wow. Child.

Uh, I will have the spinach
and egg-white omelet,

uh, no butter and
very little oil.

French fries
or home fries?

Um,
no, no, neither.

And no bread, please.

Okay.

Thank you.

The three of us had
been getting together regularly

for the first time in years,

ever since Toby
called to tell us

that he was getting a divorce.

So it's crazy because,
when you're in space,

no matter where you are,

you feel like you're
in the center.

Have you considered that maybe

you shouldn't have
been a lawyer?

Only every day.

How was your day?

Fine. It was nothing.

Toby Fleishman?

Elizabeth
Slater. Toby Fleishman.

God!

It's Epstein now, but, yeah, hi!

Hi? Hello.

I am calling to tell you
that I am getting a divorce.

I am doing this on the
advice of a therapist,

who thinks it would
be healing for me

to reach out to the
people who I haven't seen

since my marriage
was falling apart.

I was stunned.

I'm stunned.

I just moved out.

I have the kids, uh,
every other weekend

and on weekdays when
she's working late.

It was hard for a long time.

Uh, we actually went
to a couples' therapist

who said that we have
three of the four horsemen

of the marital apocalypse.

Whoa. W-What are those?

Contempt, I think,
was the first one.

Defensiveness. And,
uh, shutting down.

You know what? I can't even
remember the fourth one.

Was it... being a
total fucking bitch?

Wow!

Elizabeth. Uh, maybe.

I hated her. I mean, I-I-I...

Can I... Can I say that?

I know... I-I know
I just said that,

but, like, can I say that?

Yeah,
I know, I know.

It's been a while, Elizabeth.
What, like 10 years?

Or 12?

It's been since you didn't
bother showing up to my wedding.

So 12 years.

I'm so sorry. It
was... It was so hard.

Yeah, I mean, you s...

Uh, you should have
called me, you know?

It was a nightmare. We
would fight in public.

I'm... I'm so sorry.

I couldn't.

You still should have called me.

We made arrangements to
see each other immediately,

and I took a brief
shore leave from my life

as a housewife in New Jersey
to come into the big city.

Hi.

Hi. Whew.

Hello. Hi.

Okay. Come on. Come on in.
Yeah. Let's hug, let's hug.

Should we get something to eat?

Uh, no, no. I'm good.
I ate on Tuesday.

Ah.

Are you doing okay?

Yes, I am okay. Okay.

I don't know. I
worry about the kids.

I hate weekends when
I don't have them.

I freak out when I wake
up in my new apartment,

which, by the way, is like a...

A hovel compared to the
palace I just moved out of.

Sure. Seriously.

But... I think I'm
past the hard part.

And, um, yeah, I
think I'm, like,

actually up to the
interesting part.

Look at this.

What is that?

It's like a bevy of
interested sexual partners

that comprises the underlayer
of this city, apparently.

I don't know. Might
have been here forever.

Toby Fleishman. Hot damn.

Can you imagine all those years

I couldn't even get
return eye contact, and...

I cannot believe that this is
where life has deposited you.

Listen, I know it feels like
we haven't been in touch,

but I get the magazine,
and I look, like,

every month for your name,
and I read the stories,

and, Lib, it is like
your voice in my ears.

Uh...

I'm... I'm proud
of you, you know?

Yeah. I'm not at the
magazine anymore.

I'm not anywhere anymore.

This is... Yeah.

Our friend Seth had
fewer questions.

Dude. Mm.

The world is your
oyster now. Lick it up.

I'm trying, you know, to...
Hey, hey, I have a great idea.

Yeah. Go to your
apartment, put on shorts.

Why? We're gonna go to yoga.

It's... It's Saturday night.

It's Saturday
afternoon. Trust me.

What? I can't. I
just had a drink.

The place I go to is owned by
a guy who trained under Bikram.

He started a splinter
group that nearly brought

the Indian political
system to its knees.

Really? Yes.

Do you know who goes to yoga?

Girls. Yeah, right.

Going to yoga is shorthand
for showing a woman

how evolved you are
and how not set you are

on maintaining the patriarchy
she so loathes and fears.

No, I can't. I got to
get home to the kids.

And aren't you dating
someone anyway?

I'm doing this for you, not me.

Oh. How high is
your closing rate?

It's like 60%. It's 30%.

I don't know. I
can't keep track.

You should be at 100%.

You should only be
closing right now.

You are prime time
now. You are golden.

Are you being too picky? No.

I'd put my penis in a he-donkey right
now. That's how picky I'm being.

So
what's the problem?

The problem? I don't know.

I'm getting out of
a 15-year marriage

to a woman who wouldn't
let me pee standing up.

I have... I have
some healing to do.

Mm. I really missed you, man.

Go put those shorts on.

Then Toby invited
us to his new place

when his kids were with
Rachel one weekend,

the three of us together for
the first time in 15 years.

You didn't want
to move downtown?

You know, my kids are up here,
and I work across the park,

so I'm kind of like
a... A prisoner

of the Upper East
Side until the...

Till The Hague mandates
that I can leave.

You need new shades.

Yes, I know. I also
need a new toaster.

You know who has a
good toaster? Rachel.

Well, I pronounce this
place completely delightful.

I love this apartment.

It reminds me of,
uh, the first place

Adam and I had together.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

It reminds me of our
dorm room in Israel.

Very mean. I mean, I love it.

I mean, I hated the place
that Rachel put us in.

Had these high ceilings. Ugh.

And they made the
doormen dress like

they were in the military.

Divorce is like that old
Othello game, you know?

You start your marriage with
all the disks white, right?

And then there are
some black disks

here and there along the way.

You know, you fight, but
ultimately, you laugh

and it's fine because the board
is still mostly white, right?

But then something happens
and the marriage falls apart,

and suddenly the
entire board is black.

Is that how you play Othello?

They should probably
change the name.

Othello, you know?

Yeah, so now even
the good memories

are, like, tinged with darkness.

You know, they're tainted. Like
they were rotten from the start.

Not all of them.

Yes, man, all of them. Okay?

Now you look back on
all those memories...

Like the fight you
had on the honeymoon,

the way you couldn't agree on,
like, a name for your child...

And suddenly they're no longer
innocuous fights anymore.

Now they're foreshadowing.

I think when we get married,
we really have no way

to fully understand what...
What forever means, you know?

That's what I'm always saying.
Marriage is for suckers.

How are you going to know
how you're going to feel

in three times the amount of
years you've been alive for?

You were how old
when you got married?

26. 30.

30. I mean, has your brain
even stopped growing at 30?

Does your brain grow?

Seriously, I was
ridiculous in my 20s.

Who would I have married?

What kind of decision or
choice would I have made?

You grow up. You change.

It's like the show "Friends."

I used to like "Friends"
when it first came out.

Now I hear that opening music...
It makes me want to kill myself.

You definitely should
not watch "Friends."

What I'm saying is
I keep seeing people

outgrow the people
that they were with,

and now all the guys
at work... My work...

Are these, like, miserable,
desperate creatures

who get way too wasted at
other people's bachelor parties

because they're
dreading going home.

But you know what? Mm.

I was at their
weddings. I saw them.

They were in love. They
were happy that day.

You and Rachel were
happy that day.

Yeah, we were. Yeah,
you really were.

So how could an intelligent
observer of this

ever decide to choose it?

Mm.

Are you still going to therapy?

No. The apps are
like my therapy.

It's like group therapy, except
at the end of the session,

you get to put your penis
in the therapist's mouth.

My therapist does that.

So we met, and we laughed.

And in our laughter, I
heard something dangerous,

which was the
sound of our youth.

Which landed us here on the day

that Rachel dropped the
kids off at Toby's apartment

a full day earlier
than expected.

She just does whatever
the hell she wants.

Like, seriously, I shouldn't even
been surprised to see our kids,

like, sleep-marched
over to the apartment

at 4:00 in the morning...
4:00 in the morning!

Sorry. I'm angry
all over again.

I don't know. I thought she would at
least be a good, like, divorce partner.

Why would you ever think
that? She was a terrible wife.

Yeah. No, I know.

I thought we had some kind of,
like, gentlemen's agreement

where we'd put each other
through enough... thank you...

And, you know, we could at
least be normal to each other.

No. Thanks.

But what I remember
is that I'm normal,

and she's crazy, and that's
why this could never work out.

Oh, sorry. You know, actually,
I had a date tonight.

Let me see.

Okay. Here you go.

Alright. What do you
think of her? Oh, nice.

How old is she?

Let me see. Uh, I don't know.

She said she's 39. No.

No? She's not 39.

Weird fact about dating is
no one is actually 39 or 29.

There's 40 or 30. Oh.

They shouldn't even
let you use those ages

because they don't even exist.

Uh, how did it go
with the zoologist?

It was actually really freaky.
She wanted me to choke her.

What? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that happens all the time.

Women have been let loose.
They are emancipated.

That is the opposite
of emancipation.

They're just doing that
because they saw it in porn.

What did you do? I told
her I couldn't do it.

I told her I took an oath.

I mean, I'm serious. A
person could die like that.

I told her that.

What does your oath say about
her being a naughty girl

who needs some very
light spanking?

Come on.
Come on. No, no, no.

What were we talking about?

Ages. Oh, yeah. Right.

When I was on
the apps... Yeah.

I'd put my search
interest from 21 to 28.

That way, the oldest
woman I would get is 35.

That's how you beat
the system. Stop it.

Truthfully, I don't really
like the younger women.

You don't? No.

I mean, hey, come on, you know,
we're not that old, you know?

I don't think women
our age are old.

I just think the younger
ones hate us less.

Have you thought that
all the way through?

Am I wrong?

I don't know.

I'm just... you know, it
makes a girl start to wonder

how she might do on
the produce market.

Aw. You don't have
to worry about it.

You're married.
He was married.

I actually did go
out on a couple dates

with a 25-year-old
until I changed

my search parameters
to 39 to 47...

You know, 'cause I'm not
gonna marry these women.

If they want to have kids, I
don't want to waste their time.

But also

You know, also, I... I
can't be with someone

right now who doesn't understand
the nature of consequences.

You know, how the world
will have its way with you

despite your careful
planning and good behavior.

Yikes, dude. I
know. I'm sorry.

I'm just so angry
at Rachel right now,

who is old enough to understand
the nature of consequences.

And yet! And yet!

Uhh...

May the townsfolk know
of her promiscuity

and stone her in the square.

No, that is not nice.
That is not nice.

May the next man... Yeah?

Who visits her undercarriage...

Oh! Yes.

Have a big sneeze. Oh,
no. Please, please.

And the sneeze travels
up her vagina... No, no.

Oh, my God. And
causes an embolism.

That's not how embolisms...

I'm pretty sure that's
how embolism works.

Thank you for taking
my side. Anytime.

Mm. Okay.

I should go. I should go.

You guys can split that.

Yeah. Thanks so much.

Thank you.

Alright. Love you.

Okay. Bye.

Uh, bye. Bye-bye.

Hey! Was today good?
Mm. Hello to you.

There's a STEM contest at the Y.

Mm-hmm. Can we enter it?

If you win, you get to be in
a science fair in September.

Yeah, I think we
can arrange that.

I have what Mom calls
the "competitive edge"

because I have a science dad.

O-Okay. Oh, here
comes the bus.

Hey, what's going on?

I'm not going on the bus.

Hannah. Come on.

No.

You're so embarrassing.

Okay. This is nonsense.

Hannah, come with us right now,

or you're not going
to Lexi's tomorrow.

Can we just take a cab?

Look, you have to be able
to, like, live among people

without wanting or
needing to be like them.

Alright? You have
to know our values.

Not wanting to be
seen on a bus...

That's not a good value, Hannah.

Not wanting to take a
bus is not a good value

for like a million reasons.

Hey, Dad. Yeah?

Can I get golf lessons?

G... You want golf... Yeah.

Yeah, sure. I'll
look into it, buddy.

For the 10th time that day,

Toby was forced to ask
the question that occurred

to him nearly every few
minutes since his separation...

How did I get here?

How did I become a divorced guy?

How could my kids be so
much like these people

when they also so resembled me?

How did he get here?

Hey, Dad? Yes.

I think I found our project.

Can we do quantum superposition?

Uh, it's like, uh,
Schroedinger's cat.

Yeah, maybe, I just don't want
to be killing any living things.

There's no way to do
it without a dead cat?

I don't know. Listen, we'll
figure something out, okay?

Hey, Dad? Yeah.

Can we get a dog?

Oh, God. Are you serious?

Uh, I don't know.
Check with your mother.

Um, I got to get...
I got to get changed.

Where are you going?
He's going on a date.

Thank you, Hannah. What?

Don't you want to work
on our project, though?

Yeah, I do. You know how, like, you
have play dates with your friends?

Adults have those, too.
And it's... it's healthy.

It's, like, normal.

Yeah. Mona. Mona!

Thank you so much for coming.

Hi! I really do appreciate it.

Hi, Mona.

Hey, babe. Nice to see you.

Oh, Mona, you're a lifesaver.

You can have a costume party
on a day other than Halloween.

Guess I should be punished.

Mm. Well, that
can be arranged.

Whoa! Hey, is this really the
best thing to watch right now?

You ruin everything.

Okay.

He had emerged that
summer like a newborn baby seal

with his eyes clamped shut.

But now they were open,
and he was a student again.

And in the short time, he had
learned a million new things.

Among them was the fact

that if you skew your
vision just right,

you could see the world as
his dating app presented it,

with New York as a
city full of people

with only one imperative...

To fuck or lick or suck or
finger or apply hot breath

to a warm body with a
compatible schedule.

Okay, okay.

As he tried to get his
bearings these last few months,

he enjoyed the
simplicity of that.

Hey. Are you Alex?

I'm... No, I'm... I'm Toby.

Yeah, of course you are.

And he learned that he wasn't
alone in his search for someone

to talk to and kiss and ignite,

even if it was just for a night.

He was meeting a
woman named Tess

that he'd been exchanging
dirty messages with for a week.

He tried to remember
what she looked like,

but she'd sent too many pictures
of body parts in the meantime,

and he realized he'd lost
the plot on her face.

Bicep emoji.

Shrug with "What are you
gonna do?"-arms emoji.

Hi. Hi.

He turned 50 and got depressed,

so I sent him on a
survival skills weekend

with a famous life coach.

It cost $10,000 for a weekend.

Oh, my God.

She's a shaman now.
I would hope so.

Well, he comes back and says

he wants to start
having threesomes.

I'm surprised.

But I also think, "Look at this
beautiful life he's given me."

So I say sure.

You know, we'll need
some rules, but why not?

I'm not dead yet.

Well, that is very
generous of you.

Well, turns out he wants to have
threesomes with other women.

Mm-hmm. Two other women.

None of them me. No.
No. That is insane.

Wait, so the life coach
told him to do this?

She told him to live
his truth or whatever.

His truth?

I swear, you think
you know someone,

and then they go
and do something

you could not have predicted
in your wildest dreams.

Boy, isn't that the truth?
That's... That's my truth.

So, um, how did you guys meet?

You know, it's funny.
In a threesome.

But what Toby really
learned the whole summer

was that he was wanted again.

Toby! Oh, oh, yes!

He was wanted on top.

He was wanted on bottom.

Get down.

They wanted him on all
fours, which was new for him.

Yes, ma'am.

They wanted him to go slower.

Ohh! Ohh!

They wanted him to go faster.

They wanted to know if
he was gonna come hard.

They wanted him
to come to Mommy.

They wanted to call him Daddy.

He was madly in love
with each of them.

On these nights, he
didn't wonder why

this had happened to him.

Albert. My man.

On these nights, he was
grateful life was long

and he got to experience
all of these new things.

He had been so lost.

And each night, he became
just a little more found.

I know! We can do relativity. Yeah.
Yeah. It's actually not a bad idea.

Oh!

That might be for me.

"Good morning, Doctor."

Ugh. W-Who's... Who's Tess?

Tess? Oh, she's a
resident. She's a fellow.

She's a... She's a, um...
She's a new patient.

She's a good patient.

That was fun last night.

I just bought a piece
of filthy lingerie

that I think you'll
enjoy removing.

Cat-with-heart-eyes emoji.

Poison-skull emoji.
Robot-arm emoji.

I found a corner! Yeah,
I'll be right there.

How's
tomorrow night? Dad.

My kids will
be here. Your place?

Two pieces that connect!
I got it, buddy.

Thumbs-up emoji. Say, 6:00?

See if I can find another one.

Yeah. Just hold
on to it, kiddo.

866 East 91st Street.
Anytime after 5:00.

Laughing-and-crying emoji.

What if I need to call you?

I'm sure the Leffers
have a landline.

Or you could use Cyndi's phone.

Also, you've never called
me from a sleepover, ever.

Can't you just get me a phone?

I will get you a phone
on your 12th birthday.

That's in four months.

Well, then, you get to be my
baby for four more months.

Ugh!

On their way to the
sleepover at the Leffers',

Toby felt the same
anxiety he always felt

leaving his daughter
on the frontlines

of a social war zone.

But he was
momentarily distracted

as they passed a
brownstone doorway

that he'd ended up getting
a handjob in a week ago

from a writer he'd
been out with.

Is it too late to switch
my Bat Mitzvah venue?

Oh, um, you know, I think we
already printed up invitations,

and there's a deposit.

I still don't have a dress.

Hey, it's not till November.
And you know your haftarah.

That's the most important thing.

Sure, Dad.

Fleishmans! Hello!

Hi, Mrs. Leffer.

Hi, honey. Lexi!

Hannah, you have to see this.

Hello, Dr. Fleishman.
Hi, Lexi.

Hey, Hannah, if you need me,
j... honey, j... yeah, okay.

So, big plans for
you boys tonight?

We're going book shopping.

Nice.

How's the good doctor?

Oh, Toby.

We were going to
have you and the kids

to the club next weekend,

but Todd says you don't
play tennis or golf?

Mm, yeah, I play basketball.

No kidding? Mm.

Fuck you, Todd. Mm-hmm.

Good for you.

You ever get an
outdoor handjob, Todd?

Well, okay, I think Rachel

will be picking up
the girls tomorrow

to take them to the
show at about 4:00.

"You're just the
wife."

Uh, curtain's at 7:00.

And, uh, Rachel has
reservations at Joe Allen.

Isn't she the nicest?

Well, you call Hannah if
you need anything, okay?

Actually, she doesn't
have a phone yet.

Toby? Yeah?

Get that girl a
phone!

You boys have a
good night, okay?

Bye, guys. Bye, Solly.

Leffers expecting you at
4:00 for Joe Allen and show.

Hey, what do you got?

Let's see... "4,000 Facts
About the Universe."

This is good.

And this for relati...

No, this one's
more for grown-ups.

They don't have so many
relativity books for kids.

Well, yeah, but
that makes sense.

Okay, go with those.

Alright,
we'll take these two.

Alright. Is that
gonna be it for you?

Yeah.

You've reached
Rachel Fleishman.

If this is urgent, you can
call my assistant Simone at...

So the same thing
happens at the same time.

Mm-hmm.

But if someone else observes
it at a different angle...

Yeah. Yeah. It means
it's also true, though.

Here. Um, you know what?

Put out... Put out
your thumb like this.

Yeah. Good.

Now, uh... Now close
your right eye.

Yeah. Good. Now
close your left.

It's weird, right?

It's like a different
perspective,

but they're both reality.

Suddenly it
occurred to Toby

that he hadn't heard
a thing from Rachel

since their phone conversation
on Friday morning.

Question
mark. Question mark.

Where are you, Rachel?

It's Sunday. I am so
sick of this shit.

Hey, Toby, it's 4:30,

and I haven't heard from Rachel,

and Todd and I have to head
out for a golf tournament.

We got to go. Come
on, we got to go.

Look, your dad's here
now. Hey. Where's Mom?

Yeah, Mom's running late.

I think her yoga
retreat ran over.

I don't know.
Maybe they... Hi.

Yeah. Maybe they
all fell asleep.

That's not funny.
Yeah. I don't know.

Listen, she would not
miss this. It's her work.

Why don't you girls
come back to my place

and she can pick
you up from there?

No, no, I am not taking
Lexi to your apartment.

Hey, how about you're not going
anywhere if you keep this up?

Oh, my God.

It was right then
that Toby started to wonder

whether it was weird that
he hadn't heard from her

since their conversation
on Friday morning.

No dismissive eye-rolling,
no middle-finger emoji,

no three dots.

She wouldn't just blow him off.

She wouldn't reserve
seats for a show

that she helped put up and
leave the box office hanging.

She wouldn't even let the
maître d' at Joe Allen down.

Toby, yes. The Joe
Allen maître d', no.

What?

Oh. Hi.

This is where your dad lives?

Oh, it's... it's just temporary.

It's not temporary. Can't
really talk right now.

Okay.

Okay, bye.

Hi.

How was your day in
the actual world?

You didn't miss anything.

The real world is
highly overrated.

How was everything
here in paradise, huh?

Lately I couldn't stop thinking
about Toby on his dates.

Coming home alone,
coming home with someone.

I didn't have a thing for him,

and I didn't want
to be divorced.

It's that Toby's life was
no longer predictable.

He had somehow had the sense
of possibility returned to him.

I'd been feeling so old.

Here was Toby, exact same age,

just realizing how young he was.

I couldn't believe that it
was possible for two people

to be the same age
and feel so different.

Which one of us was right?

Which is a way of saying
that I was going through

something too right then,
but I couldn't name it yet.

Are you Elizabeth Slater?

I was.

Sign this, please.

Yeah.

Thanks. Thank you.

But this isn't about me.

Okay, I don't know what
you think you're doing,

but I have two kids dressed
for the theater at my apartment

for a 7:00 curtain, and
it is... it is 5:55.

Yeah. What? What?

Yeah? We already
missed our reservation!

We're never gonna get
there in time! Yeah.

I don't know where
she is, okay?!

If I had a phone,
she'd just pick up!

She hates you! Hannah! Enough!

Oh,
thank God!

Mom!

Oh, shit!

Toby! No, no,
that's... you're...

I am so sorry. I had
a change of plans.

Whose kids are
those? They're mine.

Well, one of them's a
friend of my daughter's...

The tall one... the
blonde... It doesn't matter.

I'm not here to be humiliated.

Yes, I'm not trying
to humiliate you.

Tess, I am so sorry. Fuck off!

Yeah.

Dad. Dad. Where is Mom?

Yeah, that woman had
the wrong apartment.

Hey, are you okay,
buddy?

She knew your name.

I don't know why I'm crying!

Oh, God. It's
okay. I hate you.

Where is Mom? I
don't know, Hannah!

Where is Mom?!

Where are you?

Where was she?

This is so embarrassing!

I need to change my
custody agreement.

Rachel dropped the
kids off with me

and never came to
picked them up.

How do you want to
adjust the agreement?

I want to make sure she
has no access to the kids.

Like none. Like forever.

Sounds like you
already have that.

Welp... I...

How did we all get this way?

Will... Yes!

Really? Yes!

How'd we get put
on this trajectory?

We all ended up at
the same boring life.

How was your day?

It was fine.

I don't remember.

We're a mess Dad.

The Fleishmans are a mess.

Hello.

What are you doing here?

A person needs a
little bit of danger

in order to feel like
she knows what matters.

Rachel Fleishman.

As I live and breathe.

Is this totally kosher,
like watching two women...

Toby!

Yes.

Do you not have enough problems?

No, no. I have enough problems.

Enjoy this.

Is she up there?

She just got home.

You cannot just do whatever
you want in this world.

That's not how it works.

You're a crazy little guy.