Flatbush Misdemeanors (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - Hot Potato - full transcript

Previously, on
"Flatbush Misdemeanors"...

What the fuck
are you doing here, man?

What happened
to waiting outside?

My niece, goes to Delaney,

they can't even afford set
dressing for their school play.

We're gonna call the principal
and we're gonna get this done.

And thank you, Kevin.
Exceptional painting.

I can tell
you for real like me.

I'm-a tell Junior that you
was looking out, all right?

Yo. She better not find out

about our business, either.



For NA, I have to take
a moral inventory of my life,

and just consider how, uh,

your resentments have,
like, affected others.

You didn't think it was
your place to tell me

about my own family?

Yo, you sound stupid, bro.
Come here...

Nah. You lost me.

Yo, bro, where you going?

There's something
I got to tell you.

Drew, we got into a little
thing, like a back-and-forth.

Principal Douglass was
asking me who that was,

"Tell me or I'll fire you.
Tell me."

So I told him.
Douglass called the cops,

Drew got arrested.



Goddamn!

♪ To infinity ♪

♪ And beyond that, notice my energy... ♪

Don't you just feel
so good right now?

Giving back to the community?

Yeah, aren't you just bursting
with pride right now,

representing these kids?

I'm not from here, bro.
Fuck them kids.

Okay, R. Kelly.

Well, you know, I mean,
give me some credit.

That's not fair.

R. Kelly knew the kids.

Oh, shit, look at
your phone, they just announced

- the final assignment.
- Word, what is it?

I don't know, I can't scroll,
I got paint all over my fingers.

- Come on, bro.
- Yo, you better hope

it's not another
community project.

- All right, shut the fuck up.
- Okay.

"Congratulations, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, your final assignment
is open-ended.

Paint in whatever style
you desire,

or as some of you
might say, 'Do you.'"

Ugh. "The only rule

is that the painting must be
an expression of self."

Damn, t-that means we can
paint whatever we want.

Yeah, finally.
Let's hurry up and get out this

poor-ass, weak-ass school.

These dumb ass kids
is making me itch.

I-I'm sorry.

You know you don't
want to work here.

Are you tense? Anxious?

Always tired
but can't fall asleep?

No matter who you are, you'll
feel better and live better

when you learn to relax.

Well, the bad news is,

I pulled a hamstring.

Good news is,

- I'm fucking again.
- Fucking bus.

I mean, I'm getting better
with age.

I'm finding out shit
that I didn't even know

I was supposed
to be looking for.

You know what I...
You know what I mean.

Are we supposed to update
people every time we fuck?

Oh, yeah, that's actually,
that's the next step.

- Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah.

I wish that I could
enjoy all this good,

but it's just an escape,
because my kid hates me.

She thinks I haven't changed,
just because

- I do the same things.
- Yep.

True. I'm going through it
with my niece.

- She's always...
- Who are you?

Oh, my name's Drew, and, um,

yeah, like I was saying,
uh, my niece cut me off, too.

The shit I'm into is starting
to hurt her for real.

Shit, I didn't even think
I'd be doing it this long.

Thought it was the answer
to all my problems.

But then you get
used to it and then

it turns into something else.

I remember, Eddie said
something in his last share...

- It's Franklin.
- Gesundheit. Eddie said,

"You might be strong enough
to handle the pain,

don't mean you deserve it."

I felt that, but the thing is,

I don't know what I'd be doing
if I wasn't doing this.

At first, I didn't want
to be in this program.

Shit, I didn't even like
most of y'all. I still don't.

But I can relate

to what y'all go through.

This life's exhausting.

All the lies and pressure,
shit's fucking up

the relationship
with my family, man.

Maybe I need to stop
doing what I'm doing

and... what y'all say?

Surrender to a higher power?

I don't know.

Okay, works for me.

Come on, Zay,
I know you in there.

The fuck? Oh, my God, Desmond,
I don't want to be bothered.

Go away!

Bro, I said I'm sorry, damn.

- What else you want? Damn.
- This fucking boy.

I swear to God.

Just because you apologize
does not mean

I need to accept your apology.

I said I need space,
so that is that.

Like, damn, nigga.

What the fuck?

Drew the one that told me
not to tell you

- about him and Junior.
- Mmm.

I-I just ain't never been in
this kind of situation before.

I-I really ain't know
what to do.

Yo, you ain't telling me
nothing I don't know already.

Junior got picked up yesterday.

What?

Was Drew with him?

I don't know.

That's what I came over here
to talk to you about.

I just need somebody to talk to
about Junior, man.

He ain't never been
to jail before.

Where they keeping him?

His mom said
they taking him to the island.

My head just fucked up.

Come here.

It might take a little while
for him to get out.

Wait. Was Amaya with him?

Oh, my God.
Why she ain't text me?

I hope she's okay.

So, uh,

you gotta go to school, huh?

Yeah. What's up?

I was just seeing
if you wanted to do something.

No.

What do ya got today?

Um... Oh, that auditor's coming
to watch me teach

and decide
if I can teach full-time again.

No way. You got
a big sex ed lesson planned?

Oh, yeah. Well, it's, uh,
it's Condom Week.

Oh, happy Condom Week
to your family.

Happy Condom Week
to you and yours, yes.

- Thank you very much.
- Um...

Yeah, so I'll just
give the kids condoms,

and they'll probably make 'em
into balloon animals.

But that's, like,
a step towards using 'em.

- Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Um...

Where do you want to eat?

I...

I can't eat right now.
I'm sorry.

- I'm-I'm swamped with work.
- Oh.

Did I do something?

- No.
- Just 'cause you-you've bailed

the last few times, and...

I'll believe you
if it's nothing,

but also, you can just tell me,

and I'll, like,
back off a little bit.

I like hanging with you.

- I promise.
- Okay.

How's your back been

since you hurt it?

- Fine.
- Um...

Are you lying?

What?

I mean, you said...
I was like, "How's your back?"

And you were like, "Good."
Like, was that...

- Was that a lie?
- Wh-What?

Just, you weren't looking at me
when you said that.

You're not looking at me
right now.

Well, I'm here,
so I'm happy to help, also.

- Thank you, Dan.
- Um, I'm not qualified, but...

No. N-Not even slightly.

- No.
- But if I had a condom question,

- you would be first one I call.
- I would... First call.

Hey, Drew. You wanted to talk
to me about your case, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Cool. Okay. Yeah, he took me up

- on that offer.
- Sure.

- Legal aid stuff. Um...
- Yeah.

Text me later, yeah?

- Yeah. You're good?
- Thank you, Dan.

Yes, good. Hey.

Okay, now you free to eat?

Um...

- Yeah.
- Good. Great. Come on.

Let's go pick up
some IHOP to go.

- Where do we take the IHOP?
- "Chipolte."

They got great benches there.

True relaxation
comes from conquering

both nervous
and physical tensions

by calming both mind
and muscles.

Did you hear that, dear?

Uh, Ms. Owens, do you need
a water or a chair

- or something? I can...
- Oh, no, no, no.

Remember, Mr. Joseph,
I'm not here.

Okay. Um, all right, kids. So,

Ms. Owens is gonna be observing
our class today,

so let's make this

the best sex ed class
we've ever had

tied with all the rest.

Okay. STI prevention.

Now, we discussed
external condoms,

but what else is there?

And don't say abstinence.
Let's be realistic.

Pulling out.

Okay.

Yes, pulling out is a method,

but it doesn't prevent STls.

Internal condoms.

Vaginal. Why do you think
I'm holding this vagina?

Now, female condoms

are slightly less effective
than male condoms.

- Okay?
- Mr. J, how's your pullout game?

Okay, listen,
you're gonna ask real questions

or go see Principal Douglass.
I'm not kidding.

All right. My bad. Damn.

- It's just a joke.
- Okay.

Quick demonstration.

Now, you're gonna want to check
the expiration date,

because these things expire
like dairy.

Let's get
this demonstration going.

So, there's two rings.

You're gonna want to pinch
the...

elastic ring.

Give it a little pinch.

- Now, the goal...
- Girl,

- where the fuck have you been?
- ...is to cover that cervix.

I've been texting you
all morning.

I'm sorry. The person
you were trying to reach

was a little busy
'cause of this.

What are you talking about?

Amaya, what the fuck?

Stick it in there.

And then... Look at that.

And then you just kind of...
like that and it gives this...

What are you doing
with all these drugs?

I was supposed to drop it
for Junior,

but then he got arrested

before he could tell me
where to,

and now I don't know
what to do with it.

Wait, why would you even
bring them to school with you?

'Cause you know my mother
is Caribbean, bitch.

She'll kill me twice if she see
this shit in her house.

Girl, you cannot have
these drugs here.

I'm-a get caught.
Like, this what I get

for trying to be a bad bitch.

Amaya, stop crying. Just relax.

Who uses female condoms?
The best of the best.

Mary J., Meg Thee Stallion.

- Doja Cat.
- What about Desmond?

Girl, what about him?

You don't think
he'd be able to hold it down?

Hell no. That nigga
probably would get caught

with them.
He wouldn't know what to do.

These niggas be useless, bro.

Zayna, Amaya, be quiet.
All right?

And I know these things,

- female condoms...
- What about Drew?

Girl, they have already
arrested Junior.

They probably out there
looking for Drew, as well.

Especially since they
were working together.

Bro, these niggas
be useless, son.

On God, I'm never dating
a drug dealer again, bro.

This tough boy shit
got me sweating and shit.

- My edges.
- Safe as can be.

And... Oh!
You can insert a female condom

up to eight hours before sex,
so if you have a date at night,

you just toss it in there
at lunch,

- and you go about your day.
- I'm sorry.

- He just said eight hours?
- That's nasty.

Looking good, feeling good.

Upbeat music

Arsema, you did a great job

on the school project
at Beauford.

The theater director
just called,

- said that they loved it.
- Thank you.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Hey. Hey, Nancy?
- Yeah.

Hey, I worked on that, too.
Did they say something about me?

- Nothing.
- Oh.

Fuck, bro, how could
they not say my name?

Like, I was right there.

I told you.

You need to learn
how to kiss some ass.

Yeah, but they still should've
said my name, bro. Like,

come on. Fuck.

I could lose 'cause of that.
Like...

Stop being so dramatic.
It's fine.

You still have the final.

Kevin, they did say something
about you.

- Oh, yeah?
- They said you left your wallet.

- Oh.
- They said

that there was a condom in there

that expired eight years ago

and a note from your mom
that said "keep trying."

- Do you need condoms?
- No.

'Cause I have
a full fresh batch in my drawer.

- I'm sure you do.
- Okay? Sizes, varieties.

- That's...
- Everything you need.

- Ribbed.
- Okay.

- Okay?
- All right.

I gotcha.

Eight years. Damn.

Huh? Oh,

no, that's-that's not my wallet.

- Mm.
- I-I be... I be fucking raw.

Right.

Upbeat music

Yo, what's up

with the toilet paper?

Yo, my fault, bro.
I had Taco Bell earlier.

I gotta
get the fuck up out of here.

I swear.

Tired of this shit.

Them lil' niggas
Desmond and Junior

run they mouths
too fucking much.

One of them tell Zayna
we was working together.

Next day, very next day,

Junior end up on the island.

- Junior got knocked?
- See?

Getting too old for this shit.

Gotta find a new hustle.

Yo, the met a verse.

The fuck is that?

Bro, that shit
like Grand Theft Auto,

but with real money, man.

They call it
digital real estate.

- What we gonna do with that?
- Start a trap house

in the met a verse.

Yo.

Or they got NFTs, bro.

You fuck with that.
That's, like, art shit.

Art shit take too long, man.
Need fast money.

Bro, cats is making,
like, 300, 500k

off of pictures of apes, bro.

Art is lucrative, man.
You never listen to 4:44?

Shit, that is a lot of bread.

Yeah. Kev could help you
with this shit, too.

Yup, you right.
This might be it.

- Mm-hmm.
- Bro, you need

to get on
this Metaverse, though.

- Nah, I'm out.
- Ain't bullshittin'.

Hey, yo, Tiff, what's good?
We going to the park?

- Hey, Blue.
- What's going on?

- How you been?
- Can I touch 'em?

Squeeze it harder.

There. Do it again.

Is this okay?

- Yeah, I like that.
- You nasty.

And remember, female
condoms are not flammable.

All right?

Girl, this bell needs to hurry
up and fucking ring, B. Like...

- Know what I'm saying?
- Female condoms

are one of the best things
you can use

for safety,
short of male condoms.

- Okay?
- My brother said the latex

in condoms make you
start pissing rocks.

No. Latex does not make you
start pissing rocks.

Okay, look, I've read that
online, too; It's not true.

Do not trust your siblings
about sex.

It's very important.

And remember...

What's that?

Hold up.

Um, thank you, Zayna, for

reminding me and all of us
about lubricant.

Yep.

So, Zayna made this mix
in science.

Great work again, Zayna.

So let's demonstrate.

You're gonna apply it
like that.

And remember, it actually
lessens the risk

of the contraceptive breaking
while also protecting you more

from STls.

- That's nasty.
- That's nasty.

Okay, um, all right,
what do you say

we split up into groups of two
now for a project?

We never do projects.

That's what makes
this so exciting.

"What the heck? A project?"
Okay, Zayna, Amaya,

you two seem like a great pair.

Everybody else,
you know how pairs work.

Mr. Joseph, look.

Is that what I think it is?

- It's not ours.
- I don't care.

I'm not gonna get you
in trouble,

- but it has to go, now.
- Yep.

Gentle music

You know people usually
wait until I'm done

before they try to steal
my ideas.

You're not Barkley Hendricks.

If this shit ain't good,
I'm never gonna stop

talking shit about it.

Yeah, see, it's not even done

and you already got
expectations for it.

- It's finna be iconic.
- Who are you right now?

Shit, I'm a god.
That's what I am.

Okay, Kevin.

Nah, it's just I think
I got this place figured out.

They just want a version of
Blackness that they can sell,

so...

And this is a version of
Blackness that they can sell?

Yeah, it is.

Okay. You're an idiot.

All right, just let me finish,

you know, and then
I'll show you, all right?

What you about to paint?

Some Ethiopian shit.

- You're Ethiopian?
- Yes.

I literally talk about it
all the time. What?

I thought you was just
light-skinned

with a big forehead.

Come on.

I thought you was, like,
Eritrean.

I heard... I don't know why
I heard Eritrea.

- Or Somalia.
- You know what?

One of them big forehead
countries.

- You wrong for that.
- Barbados.

- You sound just like Nancy.
- One of them joints, you know.

There he is.

Oh, shit, what's up, bro?
How are you?

I need to pick your brain
for a minute.

- What about?
- What you know about NFTs?

I mean, they're kinda
hot right now,

but that's not really what I do.

Nah, 'cause I heard you could
make guap doing this.

If you make one of them
lil' monkeys,

we could sell that shit
for 300K.

That's not how that work, bro.

- Then how it work, nigga?
- Yo.

Can you come back later
and talk about that?

Like, 'cause I'm-I'm working
on something else, man.

All right, that's cool.

Somebody in here know how
to do that shit.

Shit, I'll make the
motherfucking Donkey Kong

my damn self.

Oh, yeah, what's up, baby?

What you know about NFTs?

The "N," the "F," the "T."

Don't matter what
you start with.

I don't even
know what to do with this shit.

Bro, I don't know.

You cannot have promethazine
at school.

Okay? That's almost
definitely a rule.

Okay, Nancy Reagan,
want to follow rules and shit,

say no to drugs.

- Nancy Reagan?
- Well, can't we just

- leave it with you?
- No.

- No, no, no.
- Absolutely not.

No. Wait, why are you saying no?

- Because you do drugs.
- I don't drink lean.

Although I'm sure I'd like it
if I tried it, honestly. But no.

That's not an option.

Bro, it's either we leave it

with this crackhead,

or we give it to Drew.

I agree with Amaya.

That man handles lean
better than any of us.

I told you before,
I do not want to do that.

Girl, we don't have
any other choice.

Okay, look.

Zayna, I'm not telling you
what to do...

- You literally just did.
- No.

I'm just giving you
my strong take

on what you should do.

Huge difference, okay?

But make the call
you want to make. All right?

Also, class is over,

so I'm gonna catch you up
on the female condom stuff

you missed tomorrow, all right?
A lot of fun facts.

Get rid of it.
Get rid of it.

Let me know when
you get rid of it.

Okay.

- Oh, my God, bro.
- Fuck!

So it don't gotta be an ape.

B-B-But what's the one that
Steph Curry bought?

He gon' want another one.

Nah, niggas love me in here.
Ohdee.

Stuck inside a loop and
I'm tired with nowhere...

Blue, let me hit you back
real quick.

Yeah. Yo.

You made those?

Yep.

Can you make it where
the monkeys is wearing

Timbs and fitteds?

That's actually...

Matter fact...

I'm, yeah, I'm so sorry
about this nigga. I'm sorry.

Is he, like,
an art dealer or something?

Nah, he used to be an artist,
but, like,

I don't know where
this NFT shit's coming from.

All right, well, can you
tell him that no one here

is gonna make it for him?

Like, not today, at least.

He don't really understand
the word "no."

- What do you mean?
- What are you talking about?!

You said if I did something
off the list, I'd be good.

I been going to NA.

I'm not doing no community
service, bro. Fuck that!

I can't do this shit.
I'll finish later, I guess.

I already told you I can't work
for nobody, my nigga.

Yo, I'm about to start
my own company selling NFTs.

Facts. My man about to start
doing it for me right now.

Yeah, a'ight. Yeah, a'ight.
Whatever.

Yo, Kev, I'm telling you,
my nigga.

Don't catch a case.

Motherfuckers act like
they own you.

Fuck outta here.

Hey, yo, Drew, bro, look...

So I was thinking we could
call 'em DrewFTs. Hmm?

You make the monkeys,
and I use my skills to sell 'em.

What you think?

- Nigga, you gotta go.
- What you talking about?

Bro, I need to focus, man.

I gotta finish this project
in, like, 12 hours,

and you been in here
fucking my whole day up.

Like, come on, man.

This is all I have
to myself, bro.

And I get that you need help
or whatever, but...

Yo, tell me about
all that shit later.

Something going on with Zayna.

I'm gonna get at you. Word.

I'm done, I'm tanked out

Stuck inside a loop
and I'm tired with nowhere...

I hate Black people.

Notice how wonderful
you're beginning to feel?

Like you are floating away
into dreams.

Um...

how much longer
do you think this will...

Almost done, Mr. Joseph.

Okay.

Mr. Joseph, I need
your full attention.

Sure, yeah, there's just
a lot going on today,

but nothing, uh, nothing bad.

Just various good things.

Zay, what's up?

I thought something
happened to you.

I don't know if Junior
said anything, okay,

and I don't know if the cops
is looking for you.

Zay, what are you talking about?

- What's this?
- I had nothing to do with this.

And Amaya, she was just holding
it for Junior, that's it.

What the fuck?!

Why would she do that?

I know you're not judging.

Nah, I mean, she ain't
heard from him?

- No.
- And Desmond?

He don't know nothing
about this.

Anybody see you with this?

Mr. Joseph.

But he's the one that
told me to call you.

- He didn't tell nobody?
- No.

Fuck.

I was just trying to
stay away from this shit,

but this is crazy.

Yeah, right.

What you mean, "Yeah, right"?
No funny.

I'm tired of running around
doing all this.

I don't know if Junior talking.

This dumb ass white boy in there.

I can't keep this on me.

- Do whatever you gotta do, Drew.
- Zay.

What?!

I should have told you about
what I was doing with the kid.

I'm sorry.

You got every right
to be mad at me,

but I'm dead ass.
I'm done with this shit.

I gotta head to class.

Um... thank you for coming.

I love you.

Shit.

Okay, after
a careful assessment,

it is my recommendation that...

Yes!

Oh, thank God.

I haven't told you
my decision yet.

Oh, sorry, I was just,
I'm excited for the decision.

My recommendation that you be
fully reinstated next year.

Full salary restored.

- Congratulations.
- Wow.

Um, that's crazy.

Uh, thank you so much,
Ms. Owens.

Um, uh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
if I've been weird today,

I'm just, you know, I'm nervous.

You're not the weirdest,
but maybe don't do

that lube thing again.

Right. I was just
giving it a whirl.

♪ Them a call fi
a weekend love ♪

♪ She them waa fi be side piece,
only a night piece ♪

♪ Love off indecent love... ♪

Hey, yo, Addis Ababa.

What's up, Google Earth?

Yo, what you think of this?

It's a'ight.

A'ight? Bro,
you know Nancy about to squirt

right on this dude's forehead.
Stop playing with me.

Thank you so much
for that imagery.

I'm just saying, this shit nice.

Man, you still got a lot
more work to do.

Yeah, I know.

Yo, what-what happened
to your friend?

Oh, I told that nigga,
I said, "Nigga,

if you don't get the fuck
up outta here,

I'll beat your ass.

You know how many push-ups
I did this morning?"

Word. I'm sure you did.

Nah, it's just,
you know, it's hard to paint

when people talking to me.

What you mean?
You paint when I talk.

Yeah, 'cause I can't hear women.

Classic. Yeah.

Nah, you know,
it's-it's natural with you.

You know, like, I paint,
you paint.

I'm not gonna lie,
I'm, like, happy I met you

'cause you're, like,
my only normal friend.

Like, Drew, I fuck with him,
but, bro, I need to not see

that nigga again for at least

- two to three...
- Kev!

Let me holler at you
for a minute.

Fuck, bro, this nigga
Candyman, fam.

What the fuck?

Yo, did you shoot somebody else?

Nah, it ain't like that.

I need you to hold this
for a minute.

Bro, what is that?

Fuck, man.
Bro, why can't Blue hold it?

Son, I'm asking you.

I'm-a come back and get it.

I just need to make sure
nobody looking for it.

- No, Drew, it's not a good time.
- Yo, Kev.

Yo, I'm out the game
after this one, bro.

That's why I was asking you
about the NFT shit earlier.

I'm trying to do
something different, bro.

Zayna getting older.
She tired of this shit.

I'm tired of this shit.

My brother, man. Kev, come on.

Just need you to hold it till
I figure some shit out.

Please, bro.

Fuck, man.

All right, bro.

Yeah, that's
what I'm talking about.

Oh, you gonna leave me hanging?

"I'm Depressed" by KA5SH plays...

Yeah. Got you.

- Man, I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

Man, I'm depressed, baby

- I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

I'm depressed, baby

- I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

Man, I'm depressed, baby

- I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

Man, I'm depressed, baby

- I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

I might sleep for four days

- And never rest
- Never rest

You're all irritating

- I'm not impressed
- Not impressed

Man, I'm depressed, baby

- I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

Man, I'm depressed, baby

- I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

Ain't had water in weeks

- Man, I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

I let my orders pile up

- And I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

I might not eat
for four days

- 'Cause I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

I think I lost 20 pounds

- 'Cause I'm depressed
- I'm depressed

Man, I don't feel
like linking

Please don't make plans
next weekend

Phone on airplane,
no speaking