Firefly (2002–2003): Season 1, Episode 13 - Trash - full transcript

We're all just floating.

You couldn't possibly-
No, I wish I was Iying.

I just, you know,
we'd all just made surgeon.

That was it. We were the elite.
The world was ours, you know.

So you had to be naked?

Naked, yes. And on top
of the statue of Hippocrates.

Can you just picture me?
What, naked?

Oh, well, let's see,
I'm gonna have to conjure up....

Yeah, that's gonna be difficult.

- So did the Feds come?
- There were no Feds.

- UntiI I started singing.
- Oh, no....



- No, this is not-
- What did you sing?

This is not funny. This is a
morality tale about the evils of sake.

I would be there right now.

I mean, it was-
It was either-

It was either that
or the nationaI anthem.

- Reports vary.
- You don't remember any of this?

I remember talking the Feds
out of telling my father.

Or paying the Feds
out of telling my father.

I get fuzzy on aspects.

So, like, never?

Well...

...no.

Not ever never?

Some orders allow shepherds to marry,
but I follow a narrower path.



But, I mean, you still got the urge?
They don't cut it off or nothing?

No. I'm more or less intact.

I just direct
my energy elsewhere.

You mean, like masturbating?

I hope you're not thinking
of taking orders yourself.

Yeah, that'll be the day.

I got stupid.
The money was too good.

I don't give half a hump
if you're innocent or not.

So where does that put you?

It ain't impossible. Saint Jayne.
It's got a ring to it.

I'm just trying to remember
how many miracles you've performed.

I once hit a guy from 500 yards
with a bent scope.

- Don't that count upstairs?
- Oh, it'll be taken into consideration.

You made that
sound kind of ominous.

I put out waves
to some old acquaintances.

I may even find something in
New Melbourne if you need the shuttle.

I'll only be there to pick up cargo.

The only thing you're gonna find there
is fish and fish-related activities.

So unless you got the overwhelming urge
to gut sturgeon, and who hasn't?

But it's a layover point
for almost every planet.

I could....
I just don't want to draw this out.

Have you decided
when you'll tell the others?

I.... No.

- I appreciate your not saying anything.
- Well, I don't, so make up your mind.

I'm a big girI. Just tell me.

None of it means a damn thing.

It's just an object.
It doesn't mean what you think.

- Stay calm!
You know that's...

Stop yelling.
That's gonna make it worse.

River. Sweetheart. Put it down.

Where did you get that?
Don't yell.

It was in my hand.

I'm not mad, just let me-
Thank you.

Fully loaded, safety off.
This here is a recipe for unpleasantness.

- Does she understand that?
- She understands.

She doesn't comprehend.

I'm glad we've made that distinction.
No touching guns, okay?

No touching.

- River-
RlvER: It's getting very, very crowded!

Thought she was on the mend.

Her medications are erratic.

There's not one that her system
can't eventually break down and-

If I want a lot of medicaI jargon,
I'll talk to a doctor.

- You are talking to a doctor.
- Yeah. Okay.

My point is, it could have been you
she might have shot.

The doctor, as you just made note of.
And who exactly could fix you?

Not nobody.

We're deep in space,
corner of No and Where.

You take extra care with her...

...because we're very much alone
out here.

Little River gets more colorfuI
by the moment. What'll she do next?

Either blow us all up
or rub soup in our hair. It's a tossup.

I hope she does the soup thing.

It's always a hoot,
and we don't all die from it.

- That poor kid.
- Yeah.

She's definitely got-

- Funny.
- Something wrong?

I'm getting a weird heat bounce
off our wake.

- Engine flux?
- Sensors probably got turned around-

She can only get in there
if she knows the combination.

I don't leave loaded guns around.

She got her hands
on your hardware.

Suppose she took up something
with hull-piercing bullets.

Bullets are soft lead. Even Vera
could barely breach the hull...

...and she's the best I got.
Now...

...let's move the conversation
in "not Jayne's fault" direction.

I didn't make her crazy.
Hell, I didn't even want her on the ship.

Is that the direction you want
this conversation to go in?

Just don't want to take a lashing
for something I ain't the cause of.

Where is River now?
- Her room.

Which I'm thinking of bolting
from the outside.

That's a little extreme.

Remember her coming at me
with a butcher's knife?

- Wacky fun.
- You wanna go, little man?

Only if it's someplace
with candleIight.

I don't think she'd harm anyone.

Butcher's knife!
- Anyone we can't spare.

As far as we know, she's never
even picked up a gun before.

That ain't so.

Kaylee, you got something to say?

Okay, Kaylee,
why don't you speak your piece?

It was when the captain and Wash
got took by Niska.

I ain't like to forget that
anytime soon.

Well, we all went in. Me too.

Didn't make much account
of myself, I'm afraid.

I got no problem with
you not killing nobody.

What's it to do with River?
She wasn't in the fight.

Well, no, she was.

I got pinned down, and there
were three guys, and I couldn't....

And then River comes up.

She looks out, sees them all.

And they was spread out, you know,
had some cover.

She only looked
for a second, and...

...took my gun,
closed her eyes...

...killed them.

She shot them?

All three. Dead in an instant.
And their eyes still closed.

Well, that's....
You saw it wrong.

Not a jot.
And it weren't auto-fire, or luck.

She just....
She just did the math.

You understand how that sounds?

She killed them with math.
What else could it have been?

You couldn't have done it, Jayne.
Nor you, captain.

Nobody can shoot like that
that's a person.

So River's not a person?

Oh, please, don't be mad.

I just want to understand
what you're saying here.

I thought River was your friend.

She is! But, Simon, the way she...

Right after, she looked at me...

...and she smiled,
like nothing was wrong.

Like we were playing.

Scared me.

Could be she saved
your life, Kaylee.

I'm aware of that,
and I'm not-

She probably didn't even know
what was going on.

Thought it was a game.

Later on, explain to me
how that's a comfort.

Might have to use
some of that math.

What we've got here to deaI with
is the larger issue.

And that larger issue is, we've got
someone onboard this ship...

...might be a danger to us.

Ain't a question
of whether we like her.

Some of us have grown
attached to River.

Kaylee, you have,
or you would have spoken sooner.

Which, by the by,
you should have.

I find River pleasant enough
myself...

...but she does have
an oddness to her.

And I ain't just talking about
her proficiency with firearms.

The girI knows things.

Things she shouldn't.
Things she couldn't.

What, are you saying
she's a witch?

Yes, Jayne. She's a witch.
She has had congress with the Beast.

She's in Congress?

How did your brain
even learn human speech?

I'm just so curious.

This isn't a joking matter.
This is about our lives and River's.

Thank you.

She's deeply intuitive.
It's true that sometimes-

I don't think she's intuitive, doctor.
I think she's a reader.

- Psychic?
- Is that even remotely possible?

You tell me.

You've been studying
what they've done to her.

Well, they've definitely altered
the way she reacts to things.

Even the way she perceives.
But I'm not-

Psychic, though? That sounds like
something out of science fiction.

- You live in a spaceship, dear.
- So?

Back up a second. Are you saying
she really reads minds?

Or near enough.
Am I alone thinking along these lines?

No.

Well, I don't like the idea of someone
hearing what I'm thinking.

No one likes the idea
of hearing what you're thinking.

The Alliance could have
any number of uses for a psychic.

A psychic. Or an assassin.

She's just a kid.

And she just wants
to be a kid.

I wish it were that simple.

Yeah. If wishes were horses,
we'd all be eating steak.

- What do we plan to do about this?
- Well, that's the question.

I don't think
she'd ever hurt any of us.

Maybe you're right.

I ain't gonna make a decision
till I thought on it a while.

It's late.

Let's get some rest.

- Simon....
- I gotta check on my assassin.

Oh, please don't be mad.
I had to say something.

I'm not mad at you.

I just....

She loves this ship.

I think it's more home to her
than any place she's been.

What about you?

I mean, I....

I thought the hospitaI was home.

I was really making
a difference there...

...and embarrassingly large
stacks of money.

And I could've....

I would be there right now
if she hadn't-

If they had just left her alone.

Is it so bad here?

I don't even know if the captain-

No, I mean....

Isn't there anything
about this place you're glad of?

Good night, you two.

- I....
- Don't. Yeah, I....

Good night.

Don't let the space bugs bite.

Space bugs?

River?

River?

I like this ship.

Serenity. She's good-looking.

How did you get on...?

Strains the mind a bit, don't it?
You think you're all alone.

Maybe I come down the chimney,
Kaylee.

Bring presents
to the good girls and boys.

Maybe not though.
Maybe I've always been here.

What do you want?

That's a beating heart, isn't it?

Pull off any one of 1000 parts,
she'll just die.

Such a slender thread.

You ever been raped?

The captain is right down that hallway.
He can hear you.

The captain's locked in his quarters.

They all are.

There's nobody can help you.

Say it.

There's nobody can help me.

I'm gonna tie you up now.

And you know
what I'm gonna do then?

I'm gonna give you a present.
Get rid of a problem you've got.

And I won't touch you in any
wrong fashion, nor hurt you at all.

Unless you make some kind of ruckus.

You throw a monkey wrench
into my dealings in any way...

...your body is forfeit.

It ain't nothing but a body to me...

...and I can find all unseemly manner
of use for it.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Turn around and put your hands
behind your back.

Oh....

Now tell me, Kaylee,
where does River sleep?

Hello?

River?

Dr. Tam,
why don't you sit yourself down.

- I'd rather die standing.
- Well, the intention is not for you to die.

The warrant doesn't specify a particular
need for you to be alive, but....

Where's your sister?

Are you Alliance?

- Am I a lion?
- What?

I don't think of myself as a lion.

You might as well, though.
I have a mighty roar.

- I said "Alliance. "
- Oh. I thought....

- No, I was....
- That's weird.

- Where's your sister?
- I don't know.

Who do you work for?

- This is her room.
- Yes.

- It's empty.
- I know.

So is it still her room
when it's empty?

Does the room, the thing, have purpose?
Or do we...?

- What's the word?
- I really can't help you.

The plan is to take your sister.

Get the reward,
which is substantiaI.

"Imbue," that's the word.

- So you're a bounty hunter?
- No, that ain't it at all.

- Then what are you?
- I'm a bounty hunter.

I'm named Early.

I'm known to some.

Been tracking you since the Feds
were tipped off on ArieI.

- She sleep with anybody?
- River?

Yeah. She grapple with any of the crew?
May be in their quarters.

No.

Maybe she does
and you don't know about it.

This is insane. I'm not gonna
help you find her, in any case.

I think this is very pretty.
I like the weight of it.

I thought the intention
was not to kill me.

You're missing the point.

The design of the thing
is functionaI.

The plan is not to shoot you.
The plan is to get the girI.

If there's no girI, then the plan,
well, is like the room.

You are gonna help me look for her.

I don't think my last act in this 'verse
is gonna be betraying my sister.

You're gonna help me.

Because every second you're with me
is a chance to turn the tables...

...to get the better of me.

Maybe you'll find your moment.
Maybe I'll slip.

Or you refuse to help me...

...I shoot your brain out and I go upstairs
and spend some time...

...violating the little mechanic
I got trussed up in the engine room.

I take no pleasure in the thought, but
she will die weeping if you cross me.

You're out of your mind.

That's between me and my mind.
Let's start with these rooms.

He's not killed. Be a while before
he comes to, but he'll mend.

How much a part of your plan dictated
the need of beating up a shepherd?

That ain't a shepherd.

She wouldn't come in here anyway.
She hates this room.

You see, Early...

...the people you're planning to sell her
to cut up her brain in a lab like this.

Tortured her. A teenaged girI.

- Not some bandit, just an innocent-
- Ever been shot?

- No.
- You ought to be shot.

Or stabbed. Lose a leg.

To be a surgeon, you know.

Know what kind of pain
you're dealing with.

They make psychiatrists
get psychoanalyzed...

...before they can get certified...

...but they don't make
a surgeon get cut on.

That seem right to you?

Come on out, River.
The nice man wants to kidnap you.

Shh.

I like the way the walls go out.

Gives you an open feeling.
Firefly's a good design.

People don't appreciate
the substance of things.

Objects in space.

People miss out on what's solid.

It's not your moment, doctor.

Is that the companion shuttle?

Yes.

We'll try the empty first.
Then we'll pay her a visit.

Her room's not saying a damn thing.

Hold it.

This is pointless, you know that?

Two hundred thousand
seems fairly pointed to me.

Money like that, I could retire.

Not that I would.

- What's life without work?
Serenity's a smuggling ship.

I've been here a year.
I couldn't name where she might hide.

I don't have a year.

Your sister's becoming
a reaI annoyance.

I feeI for you.

I'm not gonna waste my time
threatening you...

...because I think you believe I will kill
people if someone upsets my plan.

I'm gonna seaI you in, though.
You just sit.

You can still walk away from this.
I know you're tired.

Don't go visiting my intentions.

Don't ever.

Man is stronger by far
than woman...

...yet only woman can create a child.

Does that seem right to you?

All right. That's all the hide-and-seek
I got time for.

I know you're on this ship,
little girI.

So here's how this goes.

Show yourself and finish this exchange,
or your brother's brains'll be flying.

You understand. I'm sort of
on the clock here. It's frustrating.

You're wrong, Early.

No, dumpling.
I will shoot your brother if you-

Wrong about River.
River's not on the ship.

They didn't want her here,
but she couldn't make herself leave...

...so she melted. Melted away.

They didn't know she could do that,
but she did.

I'm not sure I take
your meaning there.

I'm not on the ship. I'm in the ship.

I am the ship.

- River....
- River's gone.

Then who exactly
are we talking to?

You're talking to Serenity.

And Early...

...Serenity is very unhappy.

Kaylee.

River!

You're afraid.

He tied me up.

- I don't know where he came from.
- It's okay.

You're gonna be okay.

I told him where you were.

I'm sorry. I didn't know
what else to do. I-

I'm fine. I need you to do
something for me.

Gotta be brave.

- I'm tied up. I can't.
- Got tools. Something sharp.

Don't be scared.

I'm right here.

Where'd she go?

I can't keep track of her when she's not
incorporeally possessing a spaceship.

That's nonsensicaI crap.
Ain't nobody can do that.

You somewhere on this boat.
Somewhere with a 'com, playing games.

That's somewhat unsettling.

Early.

Mr. Jubal Early, bounty hunter.

May I call you Jubal?

Ain't nobody calls me that.

Your mother does.

Oh, sorry. Did. She's gone now.

Is that supposed to scare me,
bringing up my mother?

You're a liar. I don't think
your intentions are honorable.

Well, no. I'm a bounty hunter.

It's not generally considered honorable,
so much as....

I live by a code, though,
which I think is worth-

You hurt people.

Only when the job requires it.

Wrong. You're a bad liar.
You crawl inside me uninvited...

...and you hurt my crew.
I see everything that passes-

I only hurt people because they keep
getting in the way of me finding you.

- Tell her.
- What am I, your advocate?

You are, starting now.

He's really very gentle and fuzzy.

We're becoming fast friends.

You folks are all insane.

Well, my sister's a ship.
We had a complicated childhood.

Doesn't anybody care...

...that I have a finely crafted gun
pointed at this boy's head?

I care.

Then you gonna stop me from
doing what I don't want to?

You gonna be smart here, River?

River?

Serenity?

What the hell's going on here?

I need you to do me
a favor, captain.

There was a guy. He's very blurry.

You better be carefuI.

How come there's a guy onboard, and
why are you all of a sudden the ship?

- I know you have questions.
- That's why I just asked them.

But there isn't a lot of time, captain.
I need you to trust me.

Am I dreaming?

We all are.

Don't make faces.

Are you ready?

I just have to think here.

These older models have locators at all?

Won't help.

With the exception of one deadly midget,
this girI is the smallest cargo...

...I've ever had to transport,
yet by far the most troublesome.

Does that seem right to you?

- What did he do?
- Who?

The midget.

Arson.

Little man loved fire.

I can take this guy out.

He's faster than you.
All of you. And he's wearing armor.

What about his face?
Is his face wearing armor?

No touching guns.

It's soon now. Are you ready?

- How do you know what he's gonna do?
- I'm very close to him.

- He doesn't even see it.
- Okay, but-

Go now!

You're not welcome here
anymore, Early.

Do you think I'm gonna leave here
empty-handed?

I know it.

Yeah, well, you know me reaI well.

Wish I didn't.
You like to hurt folk.

It's part of the job.

It's why you took the job.

Power, control, pain.

Your mother knew.

Signed "the sinner"
when she waved goodbye.

She's relieved.

Saw darkness in you.

You're not well.

You'll be wanting to shut up now.

Big Golden Retriever
sitting on the lawn.

Never took to you.

Smelling you.

Your neighbor's pet.

You did things to him.

Cleaned up after.

Shined and polished.

Everything in here gleams.

Well, I'll be a son of a whore.

You're not in my mind.
You're on my ship!

It's very interesting,
all these buttons.

Okay. We're not touching those, okay?

- How'd she get on my ship?
- Put the gun away.

Okay. I'm putting it away.

No, he's not.

I'm putting it away...

...because we're all
reasonable people.

Don't want to do anything rash...

...fiddling with any dials.

You're not right, Early.
You're not righteous.

- You've got issues.
- No.

Or, yes. I could have that.
You might have me figured out then.

Good job. I'm not 100 percent.

You talk too much.

I'm flawed in that way.
I sometimes go on, it's been said.

It's okay, Early.

I'm going with you.

River, what are...?

I don't belong. Dangerous, like you.

Can't be controlled.
Can't be trusted.

Everyone can just go on without me
and not have to worry.

People could be
what they wanted to be...

...could be with the people
they wanted.

Could live simple.

No secrets.

No.

I'll be fine.

I'll be your bounty, JubaI Early.

And I'll just fade away.

Well, finally something
goes according to-

Simon?

See? That's what it feels like.

Hang tight, darling.
Early's on the move.

Shh. It's okay.

You made the right move, darling.
Best of you to go with old Early.

You think so?

Some of us feeI differently.

Permission to come aboard?

You know, you ain't quite right.

It's a popular theory.

Go on, get in there.

Give your brother a thrashing
for messing up your plan.

He takes so much looking after.

To the left. Your left.

Okay, now,
very gently, pull that aside.

This is really not my area
of expertise, doctor.

I tend to be putting these into people
more than the other thing.

Can I mop your brow? I'm at the ready
with the fearsome brow mop.

You got the bullet.

Okay, I'm just gonna pass out
for a minute, but you're doing great.

And we live to fight another day.

Any chance that shima lakkoren
might survive?

Air he had left, I'd say his chance
would be about one in...

...a very large number.

He knows that play.

How's your lip?

I just feeI such a fooI.

All them years of priest training,
taken out by one bounty hunter.

Don't get me wrong.
I gave him a hell of a fight.

Epic, I'm guessing.

They'll be poems and songs.
Just you wait.

Least you got some play.
I missed every damn thing.

And then his folks
come by to fetch him...

...and it turns out
he's, like, 14 years old!

I mean, he must've been
some kind of genetic experiment...

...because I swear this guy was....

Oh, my daddy whupped me so hard.

One of fours.
Let's see you match that.

I can win this.

I'm hearing a lot of talk there, genius.
Come on. Show me what you got.

Yep. Here I am.

Subtitles by
SDI Media Group