Finding Carter (2014–2015): Season 2, Episode 8 - Riptide - full transcript

Previously on "Finding Carter..."

You and dad
are dating other people

while you're still married.

I had no idea how much
this was bothering you, Grant.

I want to live with
grandma and grandpa.

I want to move out.

Taylor!

You don't think the cops
will test me, do you?

For what?

I took something. A pill.

Carter told me that she had to say
she was driving.



She's unbelievable.

We both care about you, Taylor.

Whatever.

The insurance company called.

It was an accident, I'm sorry.

I thought Carter was driving.

I was. I got distracted
for like a second.

Were you texting?

- It wasn't her fault.
- Give me your phone.

You're grounded.

I've been thinking about something.

Lori told us the truth and then

things just started to fall apart.

Like with Max and mom and dad.



But please don't shut us down.

It just feels kind of lonely.

I have an idea.

I don't know.

No, no, no, I need it more.

- Rock, paper, scissors?
- Fine.

Rock, papers, scissors, shoot.

Two out of three?

- Yeah.
- Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey, Happy Birthday, mom.

Happy Birthday.

Here, for you, birthday lady.

You're not getting
your phone back.

- How long am I gonna be punished?
- Cream, please?

A little bit longer.

- Dad?
- Sorry. Texting and driving

is just about one of
the dumbest things you can do.

I know, and I'm never
going to do it again.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Okay, so tonight,
for my birthday,

I want to have a family dinner.

All of us together.

It's not your night here.

Well, thank you for
reminding me, calendar police.

But your father and I have
already discussed this.

Yes. On birthdays
the schedule changes.

Tonight all members of this
family will be present.

Well, I don't really have a choice
since I'm still grounded.

Well, that works out perfectly.

Wait, what about Grant?

He will be here. Hopefully.

We have a plan. We are
all gonna be on our best behavior

and he will see
how well everything's going

and he will get comfortable with
the idea of coming home.

I don't think one
dinner is gonna suddenly

woo him back into the family.

Sure it will.
It's a celebratory wooing.

I don't think that's a thing.

Apparently it is now.

I'll get it.

Hi.

What the hell
are you doing here?

That's not really the
greeting I was expecting.

Well, since we're talking
about failed expectations...

You're upset I never called?

Or texted or emailed

or contacted me in any way
when Lori was on the run.

Max was here
the next day, Madison.

I'm so sorry. It was
my parents, Carter.

They... wanted me
to keep my distance

from you and the whole
situation.

Great, that's what I was
to you? A situation?

No, but I couldn't just
leave town like Max could.

I wanted to come visit;
My parents wouldn't let me.

So how are you here now?

I heard you got
re-kidnapped and...

Thought I better come
see you before you get

snatched again for the trifecta.

Great. So that's what it takes
for you to be a friend?

Multiple kidnappings?

Carter, I really am sorry.

Plus, you know, I just paid,
like, 200 bucks for an uber, so...

Be pretty cold to turn me away.

- You're a terrible friend.
- I know.

Let me try and
make it up to you, okay?

I've really missed you.

Hello.

Hi.

You must be the new parents.

Or... old parents?

Real parents... it's all
so confusing, isn't it?

Guys, this is Madison.

She's my... friend

from... back there.

Well, nice to meet you.

- That's my sister, Taylor.
- Hi.

Whoa, that is trippy.
You have a sister?

Twin sister, and, yeah,
kinda trippy at first,

but not really anymore.

Okay, so I know
that I'm grounded

but would it be okay
if Madison came in?

Of course, yeah, come in.

Fine.

But you're not
allowed to have any fun.

Perfect, because she's
a huge bummer.

Yeah, hanging out with me

is more of a burden
than anything else, so...

Great! Then welcome.

So... what did you do
to get grounded?

Nothing.

But she doesn't know that,
so here I am.

It's kind of a long story.

Parents are crazy. Why are
they all so insane?

I don't know. Maybe something
happens when you have a kid

that makes you completely
lose your mind.

That would explain why
my parents kicked me out.

Your parents kicked you out?

What did you do this time?

Drink all their bourbon?

If only.

Lately it seems like whatever
I do gets me in trouble.

And I just kept thinking

about when I used to have
problems with my family

I would just run
to you and Lori.

So... here I am.

Right.

Here you are.

I hope that's...

Okay.

It's better than okay.

It's actually kind of cool.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Don't you still have a key?
- Yeah.

I just...
I thought it would be weird

if I just let myself in.

Almost as weird as you
knocking on the front door.

I wasn't sure
if you'd want to see me.

No, I do... wanna see you.

I'm sorry.

I know you don't like it

when I talk with Carter
about you,

- and I get it.
- No, it's okay.

You guys were worried.

I wasn't myself.

We both just care about you.
We want you to feel better.

Are you doing okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Will you let me know next
time you're not doing okay?

Yeah, I will.

So Carter and I were talking
and... and she brought up

this thing about Lori.

What about her?

Well, just that...

When I started to feel
not like myself...

And when we broke up...

I had just found out

that she was
my biological whatever...

Anyway, she... she thinks
maybe it has to do with that.

Does it?

I mean, I don't know.

I know I was confused.

I still am, but...

Maybe I just need time
to figure it out.

There is no timeline.

It's a lot to process.

Yeah.

Um, it's my mom's
birthday tonight.

We're gonna have a birthday
dinner for her here,

if you want to come.

Yeah, I would love that.

Maximilianus!

- Madison!
- In the flesh.

It is so good to see you.

Clearly.

- What are you doing here?
- I had to get out of that town.

So you two know each other,
I guess.

We grew up together.

Yeah, and then puberty hit

and we, used to mess around.

I like to say Max turned me gay.

You're very welcome for that.

Pretty sure that's
just a coincidence, Mad.

I don't think
that's actually a thing.

Well, still the only guy
I'll ever love, Max.

I gotta get to work.

- I'll see you later.
- Yup.

Bye.

God, he looks great, doesn't he?

- Yup.
- Max is the best.

So he's been here the whole
time that you've been here?

Yeah, he moved here.
He actually lived with us

in the house
for a while as well.

I ran into his mom last week.

She said that he visits her
and he's doing really great.

Yeah, he's pretty much
recovered now.

Man, that kid's a rock.

To go through everything
that he went through

and then get shot on top of it.

What do you mean,
everything he went through?

You don't know this?

When he was little,
his mom got attacked

and he watched the whole thing.

He had to call 9-1-1 and hold
her bloody hand until the...

Madison.

Wait, what are you
talking about?

Carter?

Yeah, it's true.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because it's not really
my thing to tell, Tay.

Crap, I'm sorry.
I have a big mouth.

I... I thought
it was common knowledge.

Not that common.

Can I just substitute

- this onion for a green onion?
- No.

Are you sure
you don't want me to cook?

No. Dad and I have this
under control.

Yeah, I can see that.

- Hey.
- Hey. Where's your friend?

Upstairs.

To be clear...
Just because she's here

doesn't mean that you
aren't still grounded.

Yes, you've made that
very clear.

I can assure you
we aren't having any fun.

- This is not a joke.
- No, I agree.

There is absolutely
nothing funny about it.

Mom, this is so unfair, okay?

You don't even know
the whole story.

Taylor.

- What story?
- There's no story.

She just feels bad for me,

and thank you, Taylor,
I really appreciate it.

Okay, well, apparently,

I have to go back
to the grocery store.

You know where it is?

She's being super hard on you.

- I am so sorry.
- It's fine, don't worry about it.

No, I don't want you
to take the fall for me.

I'm gonna tell them
that it was me.

No, Tay, seriously, it's okay.

She can't keep me
grounded forever.

I really appreciate it.

I don't wanna go.

Honey, sometimes
we gotta do things

we don't wanna do.

Honey, you'll go, you'll
have a mediocre dinner,

you'll spend an hour
talking to your family,

and then I'll pick you up.
It'll be painless.

- Do I have a choice?
- Actually, no.

Poppop and I really need
some alone time.

Please don't ever
say that again.

I've suffered
enough trauma already.

Yeah?

Hey.

As soon as I get back
from the grocery store,

we can start cooking.

Liz, we need to talk
about Carter.

- She's learned her lesson.
- Are you kidding me?

If it was up to me, David,

she would never
get her phone back.

These teenagers live their lives

like nothing bad is ever
going to happen to them.

It is our job to remind them
of the consequences.

I completely agree,

but we need to think about
what's appropriate here.

And we did. That's why
she's still grounded.

Liz, I know you're afraid
when she's out of your sight.

- No, that's not it.
- Sure it is.

Every mother is afraid
for her children.

Not all mothers have to
deal with kidnappings.

Then Angela McDowell...

Remember that big slut?

Patient zero of the great
herpes outbreak of 2013?

Right, so she got pregnant,

and then everyone started
talking about that.

Wow. My kidnapping was trumped by
a standard teenage pregnancy?

What can I say?
We're a fickle bunch.

Of course, she got pregnant
by her stepdad,

- so there's that.
- Um... okay.

So what happened
with your parents, Mad?

What do you think?

They heard a rumor
that I was into girls...

And confronted me about it.

What rock
were they living under?

Everyone in the free world
knows you're gay.

Right?

But that's why
I never told them.

I mean, I knew
this would happen.

So they're all like,
"you can't live under our roof

if you wanna be that way."

Wow.

I mean, it's your standard...

Bigoted small-town response.

Mad, that's awful,
I'm really sorry.

Yeah, it's a bummer.

Um...

Hey, go somewhere with me.

- What, right now?
- No better time.

I can't, I'm grounded, remember?

My God.

Grounded? Can you...

Can you imagine
Lori grounding you?

No. I don't think
she was capable of it.

I mean, kidnapping, no problem,

but grounding...

So have you
talked to her lately?

No, she's still getting
psychiatric care.

Sent me a bunch
of letters, though.

- What did she say?
- I don't know, I didn't open them.

Can I see them?

Um... okay.

If you want.

They're not very interesting.

Wonder what they say.

I could read 'em for you
and tell you what...

No, that's fine.

I'm gonna just read them
when I feel like it.

Or not.

I get that she had problems,
but she was cool.

- I mean... yeah, I guess.
- And fun.

Do you remember like
all the crazy things

that we would all do together?

- Yeah, we had a lot of fun.
- Tons.

I mean... that must be so weird,

going from one extreme
to the other.

You were like
a free-range chicken.

Now you're
in this sad little coop

where you can't spread
your wings

and you're eating other
chickens by accident.

Yeah, okay, thanks, Mad.

I wouldn't go that far.

You know what I mean.

Okay.

Okay, what?

Okay... let's go.

There she is.

That's my girl.

Shh.

It was the step, not me.

Where are we going?

Does it matter?

No, not really.

Grant!

- Ha, there he is.
- Hi, hi.

I'm sorry.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Happy Birthday.

Thank you.

We are so glad to have you here.

- Hey, dad.
- Hey, buddy.

- Happy Birthday, honey.
- Thank you.

Yeah.

Well, what have you
got going on here?

We're not really sure yet.

What do you mean?

We're... we're totally sure.

I went shopping,
I have a recipe.

All right, Bobby Flay,
calm down.

I think that's my cue. Bye.

Actually, gammy,
can you stay, too?

Yeah. Of course, mom.

Would you like to stay
for dinner?

Sure, thank you, I'd love to.

Bathtub, afternoon sun.

Pretty nice, Mads.

I love it. Do you love it?

It's a really nice place.

- Great, so you're in?
- What?

- Move in with me.
- You're joking, right?

No, I'm serious.

This place could be awesome.

And I will keep the bathroom
clean, I promise.

I can't afford rent.

We'll get jobs! You'll figure
out a way to make it work.

Okay, that is what strippers say

right before
they become hookers.

Carter.

Remember back with Lori?

You could come and go
whenever you wanted.

Nobody was telling you
what to do.

Don't you miss that?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I guess I just try
not to think about it.

Well, she thinks
about you all the time.

How do you know that?

Mad?

I've been talking to her.

You've been talking to her?

Yeah.

- In the mental hospital?
- Yeah.

Did she call you?

Yeah, she... wanted to know
if I had talked to you.

Mad, why the hell
didn't you tell me that?

Sorry. Was just looking
for the right time.

She was worried.

And... I told her
that I hadn't seen you.

But we talked for a while
'cause I was going through

the whole thing with my parents

'cause they had just
completely disowned me

and she reminded me that...

This little world
that I was living in

didn't have to be my world,

and I could find...

my own life.

Find myself.

Yup, she was always
really good at that stuff.

I really didn't want you
to be mad.

But I talked to her
before I reached out to you.

I didn't even think that you
wanted to talk to me,

'cause, you know, I wasn't there

when everything went down.

But Lori said you'd forgive me.

- She did?
- Yeah.

She said that you have a huge
heart and you'd understand,

'cause you've always had
this thing about you

since you were little,
this ability

to put yourself
in someone else's shoes.

You were that kid
on the playground, you know,

who's the first to run over

when somebody fell down.

I think we should talk
decorating

'cause the possibilities
are endless.

The forks go on the left.

Sorry.

"Fork" and "left" both have
four letters in them, so...

Everything else
goes on the right.

That's a good way
to remember it.

What's up?

Nothing.

Just want the table
to be set correctly.

I can tell something's wrong.

- I know that much.
- It just turns out...

Don't know you as well
as I thought I did.

What does that mean?

I'm just wondering
why you never told me

about what happened to your mom?

Madison said that...

She was attacked and that
you saw the whole thing.

Madison likes to talk.

It sounds horrible.

Why didn't you tell me?

'Cause I didn't.

But you told Madison.

- And Carter.
- I didn't tell either of them.

Everybody in town just knew.

It isn't something
that I like to talk about.

There's a lot of things

that I don't like to talk about.

But I told you.

I told you everything.

And it really hurts that
something so big happened

and you never told me.

I'm sorry you're
taking it so personally.

She isn't one of
those things that

comes up in conversation
very easily.

Just leave it alone, Taylor.

That's gonna be good.

That's gonna be horrible.

Look who... dropped by.

I am so sorry to intrude.

I totally forgot
to drop these papers off,

and I thought you said you
needed them

so I was just gonna leave
them by the front door,

but then that felt creepy, so...

No, it's okay.

Thank you, Hillary.

Happy Birthday.

David told me.

Yeah, thank you. It is.

Would you like some wine?

Um... yeah, sure.

Sit down.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Okay, let's see.

Um...

So what are you guys cooking?

That is a good question.

We're not sure,
that's why we need the wine.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

Don't worry about it.

It's none of my business.

It's not easy to talk about.

Then you don't have to.

Ever.

I was six years old...

When my mom was attacked.

It was a Tuesday.

I had been sent home sick
from school,

so my mom had to take off work.

Nobody was supposed to be home.

I saw him stab her.

I was hidden in this little...

Pantry... thing in our kitchen.

I couldn't do anything.

My God.

The thing that Carter knows,

that I'm not sure
anybody else does,

is it was my dad.

It was my father.

They had been separated

because of his using.

Then he just... he kind of
showed up out of nowhere.

I'm so sorry, Max.

I'm sorry that that happened

and I'm sorry that I
made you think about it.

Don't be.

It is what it is.

But it wasn't because
I didn't trust you.

I don't want you to think that.

I don't.

I'm not really
feeling up for dinner.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Um... do you want me

to come to Bird's
with you, hang out?

No.

No, it's cool.

Thank you, though.

Okay, we are almost done.

- All I need now is that nonstick pan.
- Nonstick.

- Hi.
- Hi!

Hey, everyone.

- Happy Birthday.
- Thank you.

- You said I could swing by.
- Yeah...

It's all right.
You shouldn't have.

Take a seat, we're just cooking.

- Okay.
- Yeah. Okay.

It's time for me
to sautee some fungi.

That's a first.

Kyle, this is Hillary.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Can I get you
a glass of wine, beer?

Yeah, I'll have a beer, sure.

Oop, excuse me.

Thank you.

- Am I doing this?
- Definitely.

- Yeah.
- Do you think this is still good?

Wait, let me smell.

No!

What are we making?

I'm not sure exactly.

It's definitely a team effort.

I have no idea how to cut this.

This is getting...
Do you know what that is?

So I'm, I'm gonna go.

Okay.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I'll walk you out.

Thanks for bringing
those papers by.

Yeah, yeah, no problem.

- I shouldn't have come.
- What, why?

I just wish I hadn't seen

you and Elizabeth
in there together.

Listen, things
with Elizabeth and I

are very complicated.

No, of course.

We have kids, we've been
together a long time.

I think that's part
of why I like you.

You still get along
with your ex.

You haven't just
walked away from your kids.

Well, I like you, too.

But I need to take this
slow, if that's okay?

Yeah. Yeah, it's okay.

It's absolutely okay.

Carter? Please tell me

this isn't what it looks like.

- What does it look like?
- It looks like you were out

when it's been made clear
you're grounded.

Yeah, it's pretty much
what it looks like.

Really?!

Where have you been?

We went out.

You went out
and you're grounded.

Does that mean anything to you?

If it makes you feel better,
we didn't have any fun.

- Not helping.
- Got ya.

Carter, inside.

I'm just gonna sneak by you.

Um, thanks for the wine.

Actually, you know what?

I... I think I'd better go, too.

I'll call you, okay?

Happy Birthday.

It's your birthday?

- Happy Birthday.
- Thank you.

What were you doing?

Okay, look, I'm sorry,

but we were out
for under an hour.

Okay, look,
I wasn't out drinking

or smoking or...

- Selling myself.
- Glad to hear.

We were looking at an apartment.

- Excuse me?
- What?

Carter and I
are moving in together.

Is that true?

We were just looking at
an apartment that Madison...

You're 17 years old, you're
not moving out of here.

I never said I was moving out,

but you guys gotta stop
treating me like I'm a child.

- Then stop acting like a child.
- That is exactly what I'm talking about.

Carter shouldn't even
be grounded.

Tay, don't.

She definitely should be!

No, mom, you don't understand.

Taylor, please, stop.

Boy, the headcount
keeps going down.

Mom, please.

- I like you.
- Who are you?

- I'm gammy, who are you?
- Madison, come on.

Is this what you meant
by "painless"?

Excuse me?

She said, ""
in a really judgmental tone.

Grant, why don't you
help me finish cooking?

So now I'm being put to work.

Grant, go.

Mom, you are not
the parent here!

Grant, go.

That gammy is spunky.

Is she single?

Madison, what are you doing?

It's a joke.

Okay, I don't actually wanna
hook up with your gammy.

Why would you tell them
I'm moving out?

I don't know, because it's true?

No, I said
I would think about it.

I never said I was gonna do it.

Well, I'm sorry.
I don't know what to say.

Why don't we just
go back in time

and I'll keep my mouth shut?

Madison, stop!

Not everything in life
is a joke.

Yeah, I don't understand what
you're so upset about.

I'm trying to get you away

from your bitchy
control-freak "mom"

and your goodie-two-shoes
sister.

Okay, stop it.

No, they may not be perfect

and, yeah, they may have
their problems

but they're my family, Mad.

They looked for me for 13 years.

And you know what?

If I was half the person
Taylor is, I'd be happy.

Okay.

Jeez, my bad.

I know these people
don't mean anything to you,

but they do mean
something to me.

You know, it's fine.

That you have this life

and that you have these people

but as far as I'm concerned,

you're burying yourself in it
to try and forget your past.

And you know what,
it's not gonna work,

because that's still
a part of you.

Me and Lori.

Everything that happened
before this place.

I think you better leave.

I really don't want you here.

- Honey...
- No, no, mom, I cannot have

this conversation with you right now.

I know you think that you can

parent these kids
better than I can.

I never said that!

- Look, I was gonna say...
- Okay, here it comes.

I'm trying to help you here

but sometimes you make such
questionable decisions.

Mom, please,
could you just stop?!

- Elizabeth...
- No, just stop it, please.

Elizabeth...

- Elizabeth...
- Mom? Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

David!

David, I need your help!

Gammy!

My God.

I can't find her pulse.

- Mom!
- I found it, I found her pulse.

- I'm calling an ambulance.
- Her pills, I think she needs her heart pills.

Okay.

Okay, what's... what's going on?

- Hey, hey...
- What happened?

You fainted.

- You fainted.
- Man.

Let's get you to the chair.

It's okay, I...

I don't have...

I forgot my... my pills.

Here, here.

Honey, thank you.

Maybe a bourbon?

- No.
- I don't think so.

- She's feeling better.
- You're so strict.

I think they just want you
to be okay, gammy.

Look, I'm sorry, it's my fault.

I was supposed to remind you
to take your pills.

Don't be silly, this is
not your responsibility.

This is on me, okay?
I'm responsible here.

Hey.

Hey.

I'm happy to see you.

I was gonna call you

just to see
how you were feeling.

I'm feeling okay.

Just came
to give Madison a ride.

You know, it was
a long time ago, Taylor.

And my mom has never been
the same since, so I...

I know what that anger
can do to you if you let it.

That's why you forgave Crash.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thanks for coming.

All right, I'll be in my truck.

Okay.

See you.

Bye.

Walk me out?

So, Max said that I
can crash at his place

for a couple days
'til I figure out

what I'm gonna do next.

He lives with a Bird?

No, her name is Bird.

Listen, um...

I really am sorry.

I think maybe I'm just jealous.

Of what?

Having a family that
cares about you,

no matter what.

And your new life and,

and I'm not a part of it.

Well, you could've been, Mad.

You still can be.

Look, I never forgot
about you or Lori.

But these people
are a part of my life now,

a really big part of it.

And I'm not gonna
just move out and leave them

after everything we've been
through together.

I get that.

Look, why don't you
come back inside?

If there's one thing
about this family,

it is that they are
very forgiving.

No, I need to go.

I don't wanna do
any more damage.

Believe me, it was damaged
way before you got here.

Okay.

I'll text you later.

You don't have a phone.

Okay, I will text you

as soon as I get my phone back.

As soon as you get it back.

Yeah.

Don't get kidnapped
in the meantime.

I'll see what I can do.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Hey, Mad?

It was really great to see you.

You, too.

I'll see you soon.

Yeah.

Well, that looks salvageable.

No, it's not.

You okay?

You know, I have fought with
that woman my entire life,

but if something
actually happened to her,

I would be a mess.

Funny how life works like that.

Yeah.

She's gonna be fine.

I'll talk to her doctor.

- Hey.
- Hey, bud.

Just came to check on my cake.

You made a cake?

Yeah, I mean,

it's from a box, but, um, yeah.

You made a cake.
That's so sweet, thank you.

Well, I should take Joan home.

Or rather I should make her
think it's her idea

and then take her home.

Okay, thank you for that.

All right, Grant,
you almost ready?

Um... I was actually thinking
of staying here tonight

if it was okay.

Yeah, of course.

Yes, that's okay.

You know, I can't ice my cake
until it cools down.

And, plus, Poppop
spends a lot of time

in his underwear.

We're glad to hear it.

Not about Poppop...
Not the underwear...

About you.

Well, you should have
the house tonight.

So after I drop Joan off,
I'll make myself scarce.

You know, David...

What if you just
come back here tonight?

It'll just be nice for all of us

to be in the same house
together.

Okay.

But you have to have
the bedroom.

I mean, it's your birthday.

Well, if you insist.

I will help you
blow up the air mattress.

Thank you.

Man, you guys are really weird.

Hey.

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah.

Just...

Why does everything
have to be so hard?

Yeah.

If you figure that out,
you should let me know.

I'm not moving in with Madison.

I'm glad.

I just...

I got frustrated with this
never-ending grounding

and the idea
of getting out of here

appealed to me very briefly.

Well, you shouldn't even
be grounded.

But did you really
wanna move out?

I don't know.

Madison was just this reminder

of what my life used to be like.

I had no rules.
I could do whatever I wanted.

I heard what you said
about me to Madison.

Well, I meant it.

You're the best person I know.

Well, you're the best
person that I know.

Thank you, Carter.

Seriously, for everything.

Covering for me,

for worrying about me,

for helping me.

It's fine.

Don't worry about it.

Don't ever leave.

- Hey...
- Promise me you won't.

You're the one who's going
off to college next year.

So are you.

We could go together.

Yeah, because the Ivy leagues

are just beating down my door.

Well, Stanford was
really hot for you.

Okay, how about this?

Wherever we end up,
we talk every day.

- Twice.
- Twice.

You know the worst part
of this family dinner?

That there was no dinner.

I am starving.

I'm back.

Well, Joan seems to be
completely recovered.

She managed to insult me
several times

in a ten-minute journey.

So we can all rest easy tonight.

- Thank you for doing that.
- Sure.

And...

Just so you know,
I was never moving out.

Yeah...

I don't think I'm quite ready
to leave you guys yet.

Or this crazy household.

Well, with that,
I think it's time for this.

Whoa, look at that!

All right,
do we have any candles?

Candles? Who needs 'em?
I'll get the plates.

Plates? Who needs 'em?

- All right.
- Okay. Yeah.

You should go first though
'cause it's your birthday.

- All right, ready?
- Yeah.

Nice.

It's really good, son.

- That is really good.
- You baked this?

All right, come on,
it's from a box.

This is the best
birthday dinner ever.

Thank you.

Really?

Yes.

Thank you.

Carter, don't text and drive.

If you text and drive again,

you are never getting
that phone back, ever.

Yes, mom, please,
enough with the PSA.

- I said I wouldn't, and I meant it.
- Good.

I know that we're hard
on you sometimes

or... me specifically.

I just try so hard
to protect you that

sometimes I get carried away.

You are a parental vise grip.

But I really appreciate you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

- That was sweet.
- That was nice.

I'm gonna eat more cake
just for that.

- You do it.
- Now get off your phone.

- Yeah.
- I'm kidding.

Damn, she's blowing up!

I know. A day's worth
of texts and voicemails.

I've never been so popular.

Do you dare me
to eat the whole cake?

You wish you
had that many friends.

Ok, you eat
half I'll eat the other half

- and we'll see who gets sick first.
- You wish.

Remember on our wedding?

What's up?

It's about Lori.

What about her?

She tried to kill herself.