Feral (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Billy & Carl - full transcript
The story of Billy and Carl.
Carl: On the first day
that the sun rose,
and the ocean
painted itself blue,
I was a starfish,
and you were a glowing,
green sea anemone.
And once upon a time,
we lived in a tidepool
in the mouth of a baby whale
with the most gigantic,
sweet, ripe strawberry heart
the world had ever seen.
I can never tell you,
in the right words,
how much I need you.
Like breath.
Like water.
Long ago, our fingers
found each other,
and became tangled,
and pressed into quicksand,
whispering in time.
I love you.
I am so happy
about the day you were born.
And even more happy
that you put your sweet hands
into my chest,
and pressed your
love into my heart
Happy birthday, Billy.
What's so funny?
Billy: I was just remembering
that time I came outside
and you were perched on the roof
like an owl.
Keeping away the pigeons.
Carl: Gosh.
That was pretty silly.
Billy: I don't get why...
Every time Emily comes around,
you just, like...
Billy: You get scared.
Carl: No I don't.
Billy: I mean, I know
she's a lot, but...
Carl: I like her, she's fun.
I just really don't
know how to...
keep up, sometimes.
I know you have
so much fun with her.
I don't want to get
in the way of that.
Billy: She loves you.
Billy: It's beautiful.
Dad: Billy?
Dad: Hey, what's up?
You're...
you're in another world there.
Just...
thinking about Carl.
What's going on with Carl?
Is there something
I can do to help?
Um...
I think if you were okay with...
me
Not
smiling
that would help, because...
when I feel responsible
for you being happy,
is when it hurts the worst.
So, um...
I think that would help me.
You don't need
to worry about me.
Yeah...
Billy: I don't know,
it's just...
like there's a wall up, that...
I don't know,
I can't get through.
Dad: What do you
think it is?
I mean, is he...
seeing somebody else, or...
is he cutting things off
with you?
No, I don't think
it's anything like that.
Yeah.
So he's depressed?
I mean, it seems
that way, but...
He's been depressed
in the past, and...
So he has a clinical depression?
He sees a psychiatrist.
He was seeing someone, but...
I didn't know that.
That's a tough...
That's a tough road to go, man.
I know.
When you're dealing with
somebody with a depression...
Trust me, I know, okay?
You can't...
You can't fix them.
I'm not trying to fix him,
I just wanna...
I don't know.
I just know he can
be better, and...
maybe me giving him
space is what he needs?
Maybe. Maybe, yeah.
But I don't want him to feel
like I'm abandoning him.
Right, that's important.
You need to let him know
that you care, and you're there.
It's kind of about
leaving an open door.
But, you know, you can't
make him come through it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
I don't know, I just
want him to be happy.
Dad: Yeah, I understand that.
I want you to be happy.
Just let him know you care.
And that you're there.
Can this be our place?
Close your eyes.
Now smile.
And mean it.
And tell me how it feels.
Come have fun with me!
Billy: Carl.
Yeah.
I don't want you
to worry about me.
Do you love me?
Maybe I don't.
Maybe you don't.
Yeah, maybe I...
maybe I don't.
What do you want?
Do you want me
to leave you alone?
Is that what you want?
Yes?
You want me to leave you alone.
So that's it?
Okay.
So the last four years,
it's just done.
Is that it?
I need you to say
that it's over.
Do you want food?
What?
Where do you want to go?
I want hot fries.
Hot fries?
Like, gas station food?
Okay.
We can go by Ballenger's.
I think it's gonna rain.
My throat feels a little sore.
No.
Do you need some tea?
I'll get some green tea.
I need pho.
Warm soup.
Can we go to Pho Binh?
Okay.
Have you ever climbed
the Doughboy?
What's that?
It's the statue in Overton.
I used to when I was a kid,
all the time.
Me too.
They have that new playground.
You want to be
a kid for the day?
Go to the Children's Museum.
What's up?
Nothing.
Hi!
Hey.
I brought you a flower.
Do you want me
to put it over there?
Yeah.
Thank you for the flower.
I really like it.
I grew it from the one
you gave me last year.
I've missed you, y'know.
I missed you too.
You want to see a movie tonight?
Yeah maybe.
I've been doing really good.
Carl, it's 4:00 in
the afternoon!
Carl!
Carl!
Carl!
God!
Carl! Fuck.
Fuck.
Carl, Carl.
Carl, what the fuck...
Carl...
Carl...
No, Carl...
Carl...
I had the worst nightmare.
Please keep loving, Billy.
that the sun rose,
and the ocean
painted itself blue,
I was a starfish,
and you were a glowing,
green sea anemone.
And once upon a time,
we lived in a tidepool
in the mouth of a baby whale
with the most gigantic,
sweet, ripe strawberry heart
the world had ever seen.
I can never tell you,
in the right words,
how much I need you.
Like breath.
Like water.
Long ago, our fingers
found each other,
and became tangled,
and pressed into quicksand,
whispering in time.
I love you.
I am so happy
about the day you were born.
And even more happy
that you put your sweet hands
into my chest,
and pressed your
love into my heart
Happy birthday, Billy.
What's so funny?
Billy: I was just remembering
that time I came outside
and you were perched on the roof
like an owl.
Keeping away the pigeons.
Carl: Gosh.
That was pretty silly.
Billy: I don't get why...
Every time Emily comes around,
you just, like...
Billy: You get scared.
Carl: No I don't.
Billy: I mean, I know
she's a lot, but...
Carl: I like her, she's fun.
I just really don't
know how to...
keep up, sometimes.
I know you have
so much fun with her.
I don't want to get
in the way of that.
Billy: She loves you.
Billy: It's beautiful.
Dad: Billy?
Dad: Hey, what's up?
You're...
you're in another world there.
Just...
thinking about Carl.
What's going on with Carl?
Is there something
I can do to help?
Um...
I think if you were okay with...
me
Not
smiling
that would help, because...
when I feel responsible
for you being happy,
is when it hurts the worst.
So, um...
I think that would help me.
You don't need
to worry about me.
Yeah...
Billy: I don't know,
it's just...
like there's a wall up, that...
I don't know,
I can't get through.
Dad: What do you
think it is?
I mean, is he...
seeing somebody else, or...
is he cutting things off
with you?
No, I don't think
it's anything like that.
Yeah.
So he's depressed?
I mean, it seems
that way, but...
He's been depressed
in the past, and...
So he has a clinical depression?
He sees a psychiatrist.
He was seeing someone, but...
I didn't know that.
That's a tough...
That's a tough road to go, man.
I know.
When you're dealing with
somebody with a depression...
Trust me, I know, okay?
You can't...
You can't fix them.
I'm not trying to fix him,
I just wanna...
I don't know.
I just know he can
be better, and...
maybe me giving him
space is what he needs?
Maybe. Maybe, yeah.
But I don't want him to feel
like I'm abandoning him.
Right, that's important.
You need to let him know
that you care, and you're there.
It's kind of about
leaving an open door.
But, you know, you can't
make him come through it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
I don't know, I just
want him to be happy.
Dad: Yeah, I understand that.
I want you to be happy.
Just let him know you care.
And that you're there.
Can this be our place?
Close your eyes.
Now smile.
And mean it.
And tell me how it feels.
Come have fun with me!
Billy: Carl.
Yeah.
I don't want you
to worry about me.
Do you love me?
Maybe I don't.
Maybe you don't.
Yeah, maybe I...
maybe I don't.
What do you want?
Do you want me
to leave you alone?
Is that what you want?
Yes?
You want me to leave you alone.
So that's it?
Okay.
So the last four years,
it's just done.
Is that it?
I need you to say
that it's over.
Do you want food?
What?
Where do you want to go?
I want hot fries.
Hot fries?
Like, gas station food?
Okay.
We can go by Ballenger's.
I think it's gonna rain.
My throat feels a little sore.
No.
Do you need some tea?
I'll get some green tea.
I need pho.
Warm soup.
Can we go to Pho Binh?
Okay.
Have you ever climbed
the Doughboy?
What's that?
It's the statue in Overton.
I used to when I was a kid,
all the time.
Me too.
They have that new playground.
You want to be
a kid for the day?
Go to the Children's Museum.
What's up?
Nothing.
Hi!
Hey.
I brought you a flower.
Do you want me
to put it over there?
Yeah.
Thank you for the flower.
I really like it.
I grew it from the one
you gave me last year.
I've missed you, y'know.
I missed you too.
You want to see a movie tonight?
Yeah maybe.
I've been doing really good.
Carl, it's 4:00 in
the afternoon!
Carl!
Carl!
Carl!
God!
Carl! Fuck.
Fuck.
Carl, Carl.
Carl, what the fuck...
Carl...
Carl...
No, Carl...
Carl...
I had the worst nightmare.
Please keep loving, Billy.