Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 4, Episode 2 - The Awkward Hero - full transcript
Betty is excited to be chosen as tutor for the football team. Her enthusiasm wanes when she is teamed up with Muley Orkin, a social awkward young man. The tutoring goes badly as Muley has concentration issues and is clearly infatuated with Betty. Although she is dismissive of his advances she is pleased to hear succeed in a game. After the game Muley stops by and ask Betty to a dance, because she already has a date and turns him down. After a group of girls visit the house looking for Muley, Betty decides she needs to protect Muley and agrees to change her plans and go with him. At the dance Muley begins have a change of heart over Betty who he sees becoming more like his mother. Eventually Muley sees another girl at the dance and abandons Betty for a more suitable date.
[Announcer] Here are...
with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,
and Lauren Chapin in...
Is my dress too
short in the back?
No, it's fine. You're beautiful.
You know what I
ought to have, Mother?
A string of pearls.
- I'm sure you should.
- [horn honks]
There's the school bus. Run.
Bye.
Well. One down, two to go.
Where's Betty?
Oh, she's so fascinated
with her gorgeousness,
she can't pull herself
away from the mirror.
What is all this
fussing with clothes,
some special occasion at school?
She's dressed like she's
going to the Coronation.
This is the day she
meets her football player.
- Huh?
- The one she's tutoring.
You never listen when
I tell you things, Father.
I'm one of a group
of five students
who have reasonably good grades,
and we're asked to coach
members of the football team
who need help in their studies.
I explained the whole
thing to you last week.
Who remembers last week?
Are you going to coach
one of the Varsity guys?
- Yes, dear.
- Which one did you get?
I don't know. I'll
find out today.
Are you, uh, hoping
for anyone in particular?
Well, there are two...
Dicks Davis, the fullback,
and Flash Warren,
the left halfback.
Either one would do.
Both are magnificent.
Well, this is a
very important day.
- After you, teacher.
- Wish me luck, Mother.
Women, Nothing is simple
where there's a guy involved.
Right away, it's an
international crisis.
Oh.
- Bye, dear.
- Bye.
- Oh, hi. How are you?
- [Boy] See you.
Hey, what's the idea of
this coaching bit, Midge?
I don't get it.
If the profs are so
worried about our grades,
why don't they
give us some help?
The Dean says it's
up to the students
to keep you fellas eligible.
- It wasn't my idea.
- Excuse me.
The Athletics Counselor asked me
to take charge of these
coaching sessions,
so I'm only doing
what I was told.
Oh, now, it may
not be so painful.
Oh, hi, Betty.
Hi, Midge. Sorry I'm late.
I had to stay and talk with
Mr. Henderson in psychology.
Betty, this is Dicks
Davis and Flash Warren.
This is Betty Anderson.
She's one of the coaching staff.
Hi.
- Hi, Betty.
- Hi, Betty.
Betty's our, uh, secret weapon
in the studies department.
Real brain.
I'm assigning her to the player
who needs the most help.
Well, I'm practically
failing in everything.
Very bad in psychology.
Hi, Betty. Hi. Midge.
Look, I'm in a big rush.
Which of these guys
you want me to coach?
This is Lou Carlson.
Brilliant in psychology.
Lou, you team up
with Flash Warren.
Okay, let's go. I
have to get to math.
We can talk on the way.
I'm in kind of a hurry, too.
Are you going to
the science building?
I thought we might...
Oh, Dicks isn't
going with you, Betty.
I'm coaching him.
He doesn't need a
super-intellect like yours.
I'm putting you
with one of the fellas
who was really having trouble.
Thanks loads.
Hi, Dicks.
Hey, Muley. How are you?
Oh, hello, Muley.
I'm Midge Patterson.
Hello. I... I was
supposed to talk to you.
Betty, this is Muley Orkin.
He plays end on the Varsity.
Muley, this is Betty Anderson.
She's going to help
you bring up your grades.
She's one of the brightest
girls in the college,
and I know you'll
get along just fine.
Well, we'll see
you later, Betty.
Bye.
Oh. Well, what is your name?
Muley Orkin.
They call me Muley.
My real name's Merle.
Muley Orkin.
You can call me Merle.
All right, Merle.
Well, what did we ought to do?
Such grammar. "What
did we ought to do?"
Well, if I'm to help you study,
we may as well plan something.
Yeah. Okay. Where
do we ought to...
I mean, where should we...
Well, you'd better
come to my house.
607 Maple.
Start tonight.
607 Maple. Can you remember it?
Sure. I'll just think
of maple syrup.
Well, you'd better go.
You'll be late for
your next class.
Okay. Thanks.
I... I'll see you tonight.
Tonight.
Merle, watch where you're going!
I'm sorry.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Oh!
- Excuse me.
And that sneaky Midge Patterson
took Dicks Davis for herself
and deliberately stuck me
with the gooniest,
gawkiest character
- in the entire school.
- [Jim chuckles]
You want to know his
name? You won't believe it.
Muley Orkin.
You're coaching Muley Orkin?
Why, he's first string end.
They couldn't have
put him in a better place.
He is the end.
You mean you're hollering
because you got Muley?
Believe me, if it wasn't
for my undying
loyalty to the school,
I'd resign. I'd quit this
coaching thing tomorrow.
You're out of your mind.
What is his middle
name? Muley what?
All right, all right.
One at a time.
I'm curious about his name, too.
Why do they call him Muley?
Who knows?
His real name is Merle.
Merle Orkin.
Wouldn't you know I'd
draw a goof like this?
So you don't like him. Think
what it could mean to me
having my sister hobnobbing
with the Varsity end.
I'm not hobnobbing with him.
All right. You know
him. That's enough.
That means I can
get to know him,
get to be friends with him.
My old friend Muley.
I can get to know all
the guys on the team.
Maybe they'll let me sit
on the bench with them.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Huh?
If you aren't careful, you're
going to be carrying a ball.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, that couldn't be
Merle... I mean Muley.
- What time is it?
- At 6:30?
It could be.
- I'll get it.
- Oh, I'll get it.
Now wait a minute,
kids. Hey, kitten!
- Oh. Hi, Mr. Orkin.
- Hello.
Is this where Betty
Anderson lives?
She's eating dinner. Come on in.
I'm sorry. I'm early, I guess.
Just tell her I was here.
Well, no. Don't go away.
Hey, Betty, Muley's here!
Say, how are things on the team?
Run along, children.
You're just a little
ahead of time, Merle.
I didn't expect
you till 7 or 7:30.
Yeah. I'm kind of early.
I'll come back later.
Well, you may as well come
in as long as you're here.
No. You're eating.
I'll just wait out here.
You can't stand out
here. Come in the house.
I'll sit down on this step
and read or something.
You're not going to
sit out here and read.
Now come in the house right now.
Go in the living
room and sit down.
I'll be finished with
dinner in just a minute.
Uh, now, this
paragraph is important.
It explains the social forces
which motivated the writings
of this particular period
and...
Merle, please pay attention.
Just look at the book.
No, here. Right here.
"The Romantic era is typified
"by the shorter works
of such writers of the time
as..."
There's no use trying
to do any more tonight.
You're just not listening.
Merle, how do you
expect me to help you
if you don't cooperate?
You'd better pick up
your books and things.
It's time for you to go home.
- [clatter]
- Oh, Merle, be careful.
Merle!
Sorry.
Thanks for helping me,
taking the time and everything.
Well, I don't mind
helping you, Merle,
if you'll just cooperate.
Oh, for heaven's sake, Merle.
I'm sorry. They slip.
I don't know how you
manage to hold on to a football.
Uh, Betty, I was
going to ask you.
Tomorrow's the game.
We're playing over at Sheraton.
Are you going to go?
I can't Merle. I have
to study for a test.
Oh.
Well, I was wondering
about tomorrow night.
Would you like to go out to
the Harvest Moon Dance?
I'm sorry, Merle.
Not tomorrow night.
Thank you for asking me.
Good night, Merle.
This maybe will
sound sort of crazy,
but I want you to know
that tomorrow afternoon,
I'm going to be playing
that game for you.
Well, that's nice of you, Merle.
I wish you luck.
Thanks. Good night.
Good night, Merle.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Well, how did it go, teacher?
There is unquestionably
the biggest oaf
in the entire world.
He simply has no brain.
I swear, he spent
the whole evening
sitting out there staring at me.
Say, where's Muley?
Muley has gone back to the barn.
Well, if he stared
at you all evening,
I'd consider that a compliment.
You enchanted him
with your beauty.
Eww!
What's the matter?
Don't you like him?
He can't think. He can't talk.
He can't move without practically
knocking the whole house down.
He's positively the clumsiest
human being I've ever seen.
[clunk]
Do you realize you're talking
about the first string end
on the college football team?
First string end. I wouldn't
trust that big lummox
to sweep up peanut
shells in the grandstand.
- What?
- And it isn't bad enough
that I have to tutor him.
Now he wants me
to go out with him.
He asked you for a date?
When are you going?
Never. I wouldn't
go out with him
if he were the last
creature on earth.
[Bud] Well, this is too much.
She's just gone. She's way gone.
Stop it.
Betty, are you sure
you're not being
unreasonable about this?
Oh, now, what do you think?
In the game over at
Sheraton tomorrow,
he says he's going
to be playing for me.
Now, can you imagine that?
I feel sorry for
Springfield's chances
if they're counting on him.
They won't have to tackle him.
He'll fall over his own feet.
Oof!
Oh, how I hate that
Midge Patterson!
How did Midge
Patterson get into it?
Midge is the key
to the whole thing.
Midge was in charge
of this tutoring group.
Apparently, she took the
handsomest boy for herself
and dumped poor Muley on Betty.
Well, just how stuck
up can one sister be?
That's what I want to know.
Who does she
think she is anyway,
the queen of the jungle?
If I was Muley, I'd pop her one
right in the chops, boy.
Women. Just litter up the earth.
Well. That was quite a storm.
While it lasted.
We laugh at this,
but I don't like
Betty's attitude one bit.
Who does she think she
is, the queen of the jungle?
Why, are you worried
about little Muley?
I think someone
should worry about him.
He's a big, innocent moose...
Shy and probably sensitive
about his... his looks
and his awkwardness.
Oh, it's plain he's
got a crush on Betty.
And I'm afraid she's
going to hurt him.
Oh, I don't think so.
You don't know girls.
Well, I think I know Betty.
She's a lot like you.
Oh, she'll breathe fire
and threaten havoc
and devastation,
but when it comes right down
to the act of being
cruel, of hurting someone,
she won't do it.
Oh, she pretends
to be a fiery female,
but underneath, she...
You know what she is?
She's a mother hen.
Next time he comes over,
if he stares at me all evening,
I'm going to take
Bud's baseball bat
and bash him
right over the head!
[door slams]
That's a mother hen?
Ladies and gentlemen,
the game between
Springfield and Sheraton
- is about to begin.
- [crowd cheering]
And here, to give you
a play-by-play account,
is a former Sheraton alumnus.
Our honored guest
at the microphone,
that world-famous
sportscaster...
Ted Husing.
Well, thank you, Van.
You know, it's a real
thrill to be back here,
among the scenes
of my college days,
to bring you this
fine football game.
It's the big one between
those traditional rivals
Springfield and Sheraton.
It's a sunny afternoon
here at Sheraton Stadium.
And there's the toss.
Springfield wins the
toss and elects to receive.
Sheraton will kick off.
Hey, Tallulah, can you hear it?
Yes, I can hear it.
And here we go,
Carmichael kicking
off for Sheraton.
And he comes
up to meet the ball.
Boots it. It's a high one,
going down the field,
coming down on the 3 yard line,
and Davis takes it.
No return. He's
tackled immediately
and brought down to the dirt.
This just came for you,
delivered from the drugstore.
I didn't order anything.
Springfield comes
out of the huddle.
Warren is wide.
And the ball is
about to be snapped.
And here it is,
with Davis fading
back to the end zone.
He throws a long forward
pass intended for Orkin,
and Orkin has it.
Muley got it! He got it!
He's off for the races.
He's on the 40 yard line,
down to the 30 yard line,
and there two of the
Sheraton tacklers are after him.
And he is going.
Look at that boy go.
And as he runs down,
he goes to the 20 yard line
- to the 10 yard line...
- [crowd cheering]
and continues over
for a touchdown.
- Hey!
- How do you like that guy?
He went all the way!
I told you, that guy's great.
Listen to the crowd.
They're yelling for Muley.
Candy. I wonder who sent it.
Here.
Oh.
"To Betty with
cherished affection
"from your devoted admired...
Merle Orkin."
That's a very nice sentiment.
Cherished affection?
That means you're his girl.
I am not.
And do you know who
made four touchdowns?
I could never guess.
Good old Muley. That
guy was all over the field.
He was catching passes,
he was intercepting passes,
he was running. He
was doing everything.
You know, the crowd
was going crazy.
Toward the end of the game,
the announcer was calling
him the one-man football team.
He said Muley was
playing inspired football.
Hello, inspiration.
Very funny. I'll finish
my dress, Mother.
So where are you going?
I have a date with Ralph.
I'm going to the
Harvest Moon Dance.
- [doorbell rings]
- Ralph.
Bud, see who's at
the front door, will you?
[Kathy] I'll get it!
Hi, Mr. Muley.
Hello. Is Betty home?
Sure. Come on in.
No. I'll just wait out here.
You were sure good
in the game today.
- We heard it.
- Thanks.
Just a minute. I'll
get Betty. Betty!
Muley's here.
- Hello, Merle.
- Hello.
You never let me talk to him.
You're just plain selfish.
Thanks for the candy,
and congratulations on the game.
Thank you.
What happened to your
face? Did you get hurt?
Oh, no, it's nothing.
Well, don't you want to come in?
If it's all right.
Did you wash your face
before you put
those bandages on?
Oh, sure.
Uh, Betty, what I
wanted to ask you...
Well, I was wondering
if maybe you changed
your mind about tonight.
That's what I was
playing the game for today,
so that you might
change your mind
and go to the Harvest
Moon Dance with me.
I'm sorry, Merle.
I told you yesterday
I have another date.
Well, I just
thought... you know.
You shouldn't go
out tonight anyway
after the game this afternoon.
You should go to bed.
Yeah.
Well...
I just thought I'd ask.
I'll see you.
Well, how was Merle?
He's a mess.
It looks like he'd been
run over by a herd of cattle.
He wanted to know if
I'd changed my mind
about going out with him tonight
because of the
game this afternoon.
I told him I definitely had not.
Well, you can't help
feeling sorry for him.
Are you kidding?
Feeling sorry for him?
She's the one you
want to feel sorry for.
Turning down a date
with Muley, the
hero of the school,
to go out with
that nothing Ralph.
[phone rings]
That's probably Ralph now.
[ring]
Hello.
Is this Betty Anderson?
- Yes.
- Betty, you've never met me.
I'm Mrs. Orkin, Merle's mother.
Merle's on his way
over to your house.
When he gets there,
would you ask him
to stop at the grocery
on his way home
and get a loaf of white
bread and three lamb chops?
I'd be glad to,
Mrs. Orkin, but...
Thank you so much.
And I want to tell you, Betty,
how much you've done for Merle.
Well, Mrs. Orkin...
There's been the greatest
improvement in him.
I don't know what
you did or said to him.
I'll have to learn your secret.
I've tried everything
I could think of
to make him take an interest
in his studies and
his appearance,
but I'm just his mother.
He won't listen to me.
Well, Mrs. Orkin, what
I was trying to tell you,
Merle's already been here.
He left just a minute ago.
Oh.
Well, it was nice
talking to you, Betty.
Goodbye.
What's she thanking me for?
Under protest I
agreed to work with him,
and 24 hours later I'm
practically his fairy godmother.
This wasn't part of the bargain.
I will not get mixed
up in his personal life.
- Would you?
- [doorbell rings]
I'm a little confused.
Oh, I'll bet that's
Merle back again.
I'm going to end this
whole thing right here.
What was he supposed
to get at the store?
Lamb chops and what
else? Bread, that was it.
- Hi. Are you Betty Anderson?
- Yes. What is it?
We're looking for
Muley. Is he over here?
You're his guardian or
something, aren't you?
I certainly am not.
What do you want?
Where are you hiding him?
His mother said
he was over here.
We're not going to hurt him.
Did you find Muley?
She's got him locked
in the basement.
- Merle is not here.
- Well, where is he?
We're going to take him
to the Harvest Moon Dance.
What do you mean
"We're going to take him"?
All of us. The Muley
Orkin Fan Club.
- Oh!
- Look!
- Who's that?
- Who's he?
That is my father.
Hey, what's going on out there?
Betty? I don't know.
Merle's mother phoned.
Merle was here. I'm lost.
I don't know what she's doing.
- There's a whole...
- [door slams open]
The vultures are on his trail.
The wolf pack is in full cry.
The Muley Orkin Fan
Club is on the march.
Uhh!
Those predatory creatures
with their fangs bared.
Vicious little females,
all squealing and clawing,
all hunting for that
poor, innocent goof.
I thought for a minute
they were after me.
- Oh, hush.
- Flattering little snips.
They probably swarm from
one campus hero to the next.
Now the target is Merle.
Oh, when they find him,
they'll swarm all over him,
build up his ego, and
ruin him completely!
There's not one of them there
that's fit to shine his shoes.
Well, don't look at me.
He's not my responsibility.
I'm not his mother.
She has a problem, dear.
Where's the advice?
Oh, she doesn't need any advice.
What she does from here
on will be strictly automatic.
A little thing called Ye
Olde Maternal Instinct.
[phone rings]
[ring]
Hello.
Hello, Mrs. Orkin.
This is Betty Anderson.
Is Merle there?
He came in just a minute ago.
Hold the line. I'll call him.
Merle, you're
wanted on the phone.
Who is it?
It's Betty Anderson. Hurry up.
Betty?
Don't mumble and stammer
when you talk to her.
Speak up. Speak
slowly and distinctly.
Yes, Mother.
Don't slouch over.
Stand up straight.
Hello.
Hello, Merle. This is Betty.
Would you still like to take me
to the Harvest Moon Dance?
Sure, if you'll go. I
mean, do you want to?
Well, I wouldn't have called you
if I didn't want to go with you.
I can't hear you,
Merle. Don't mumble.
Wear a dark suit
and pick me up about 8:00.
Uh... Uh... I'll be there.
Y-Yeah, sure.
I mean thanks.
Goodbye.
Hey, Mom!
I'm taking Betty to the dance!
Oh!
Well, that's nice.
Now shine your shoes,
and don't wear that red
tie with the spots on it.
Yes, Mother.
And stand up straight, Merle.
Betty, what did you
decide about Merle?
I'm going to the dance with him.
Well, somebody has
to protect the big oaf.
What about Ralph?
I'll call him and explain.
He'll understand.
His cousin's in town. He
can take her to the dance.
You know, I don't
really dislike Merle.
He's sweet and gentle,
but he's just not for me.
Still, I couldn't throw him
to those female wolves.
What was I going to do?
You did the right
thing, so don't worry.
What if he thinks I like him?
Then he'll be tied
to my apron strings
for the rest of my life.
I'd like to know
why it's always me
who gets into these things.
I must be dumb... D-U-M-B dumb!
I've never learned
to dance very good.
You mean you didn't
learn to dance well.
I didn't learn at all.
You're doing fine.
Don't slouch over, and
don't watch your feet.
Hi, Betty.
Oh, hi, Ralph. You know Merle.
- Sure. Hello, Merle.
- Hello.
Betty, this is my
cousin Shirley.
They just moved
here from St. Louis.
- Hi, there.
- Hi, Betty.
Shirley, I'd like you
to meet Merle Orkin.
- Hello, Merle.
- Hello.
I've been admiring your suit.
Tall men always
look so well dressed.
[Ralph] Well, we'll
see you later, huh?
Bye.
She's kind of nice.
Oh, shall we sit down, Merle?
My feet are killing me.
Hey, Muley. How are you?
Hello, Betty.
It... It's a pretty
good dance, isn't it?
Yes, it's lovely.
Merle, sit up straight.
Don't slouch over.
[music ends, dancers applaud]
You look so much better
when you sit up straight.
There. That's much better.
You look all caved in
when you hunch over.
Sit up straight, Merle.
Don't slouch over.
Please pull up your tie, Merle.
It's hanging way down.
You can see the
button on your collar.
Just pull your tie up so
it's against your collar.
It looks so much
neater that way.
There. That looks much better.
Nothing looks worse
than a sloppy tie.
Is there anything else
that needs to be fixed?
Is my hair combed?
Are my ears on straight?
Merle, I'm just
trying to help you.
You'll never be a
success and be popular
if you're not careful
about such things.
- Hi.
- Hi.
We're just table-hopping.
- Mind if we join you?
- No. Gather around.
- Quite a shindig, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
Would you like
to dance, Shirley?
- Do you mind, Ralph.
- No. Go ahead.
I'm not a very good dancer.
Okay. That starts us even.
Excuse me.
Well, old Muley
and my kid cousin
are quite a pair.
Looks like it might turn
out to be something.
Are you crying?
You wanted Muley to
meet a nice girl, didn't you?
What's wrong, then?
He doesn't need me anymore.
Good night.
Well, how was the dance?
Yes. Give us a
report on old Merle.
Merle met Ralph's
cousin Shirley,
and it was love at first sight.
She's going to help
him with his studies.
I'm out, cast aside
like an old shoe.
Well, don't worry.
Shirley will take
good care of him.
Well, she'd better,
or she'll hear from me.
I can tell you that.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night. Mother.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,
and Lauren Chapin in...
Is my dress too
short in the back?
No, it's fine. You're beautiful.
You know what I
ought to have, Mother?
A string of pearls.
- I'm sure you should.
- [horn honks]
There's the school bus. Run.
Bye.
Well. One down, two to go.
Where's Betty?
Oh, she's so fascinated
with her gorgeousness,
she can't pull herself
away from the mirror.
What is all this
fussing with clothes,
some special occasion at school?
She's dressed like she's
going to the Coronation.
This is the day she
meets her football player.
- Huh?
- The one she's tutoring.
You never listen when
I tell you things, Father.
I'm one of a group
of five students
who have reasonably good grades,
and we're asked to coach
members of the football team
who need help in their studies.
I explained the whole
thing to you last week.
Who remembers last week?
Are you going to coach
one of the Varsity guys?
- Yes, dear.
- Which one did you get?
I don't know. I'll
find out today.
Are you, uh, hoping
for anyone in particular?
Well, there are two...
Dicks Davis, the fullback,
and Flash Warren,
the left halfback.
Either one would do.
Both are magnificent.
Well, this is a
very important day.
- After you, teacher.
- Wish me luck, Mother.
Women, Nothing is simple
where there's a guy involved.
Right away, it's an
international crisis.
Oh.
- Bye, dear.
- Bye.
- Oh, hi. How are you?
- [Boy] See you.
Hey, what's the idea of
this coaching bit, Midge?
I don't get it.
If the profs are so
worried about our grades,
why don't they
give us some help?
The Dean says it's
up to the students
to keep you fellas eligible.
- It wasn't my idea.
- Excuse me.
The Athletics Counselor asked me
to take charge of these
coaching sessions,
so I'm only doing
what I was told.
Oh, now, it may
not be so painful.
Oh, hi, Betty.
Hi, Midge. Sorry I'm late.
I had to stay and talk with
Mr. Henderson in psychology.
Betty, this is Dicks
Davis and Flash Warren.
This is Betty Anderson.
She's one of the coaching staff.
Hi.
- Hi, Betty.
- Hi, Betty.
Betty's our, uh, secret weapon
in the studies department.
Real brain.
I'm assigning her to the player
who needs the most help.
Well, I'm practically
failing in everything.
Very bad in psychology.
Hi, Betty. Hi. Midge.
Look, I'm in a big rush.
Which of these guys
you want me to coach?
This is Lou Carlson.
Brilliant in psychology.
Lou, you team up
with Flash Warren.
Okay, let's go. I
have to get to math.
We can talk on the way.
I'm in kind of a hurry, too.
Are you going to
the science building?
I thought we might...
Oh, Dicks isn't
going with you, Betty.
I'm coaching him.
He doesn't need a
super-intellect like yours.
I'm putting you
with one of the fellas
who was really having trouble.
Thanks loads.
Hi, Dicks.
Hey, Muley. How are you?
Oh, hello, Muley.
I'm Midge Patterson.
Hello. I... I was
supposed to talk to you.
Betty, this is Muley Orkin.
He plays end on the Varsity.
Muley, this is Betty Anderson.
She's going to help
you bring up your grades.
She's one of the brightest
girls in the college,
and I know you'll
get along just fine.
Well, we'll see
you later, Betty.
Bye.
Oh. Well, what is your name?
Muley Orkin.
They call me Muley.
My real name's Merle.
Muley Orkin.
You can call me Merle.
All right, Merle.
Well, what did we ought to do?
Such grammar. "What
did we ought to do?"
Well, if I'm to help you study,
we may as well plan something.
Yeah. Okay. Where
do we ought to...
I mean, where should we...
Well, you'd better
come to my house.
607 Maple.
Start tonight.
607 Maple. Can you remember it?
Sure. I'll just think
of maple syrup.
Well, you'd better go.
You'll be late for
your next class.
Okay. Thanks.
I... I'll see you tonight.
Tonight.
Merle, watch where you're going!
I'm sorry.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Oh!
- Excuse me.
And that sneaky Midge Patterson
took Dicks Davis for herself
and deliberately stuck me
with the gooniest,
gawkiest character
- in the entire school.
- [Jim chuckles]
You want to know his
name? You won't believe it.
Muley Orkin.
You're coaching Muley Orkin?
Why, he's first string end.
They couldn't have
put him in a better place.
He is the end.
You mean you're hollering
because you got Muley?
Believe me, if it wasn't
for my undying
loyalty to the school,
I'd resign. I'd quit this
coaching thing tomorrow.
You're out of your mind.
What is his middle
name? Muley what?
All right, all right.
One at a time.
I'm curious about his name, too.
Why do they call him Muley?
Who knows?
His real name is Merle.
Merle Orkin.
Wouldn't you know I'd
draw a goof like this?
So you don't like him. Think
what it could mean to me
having my sister hobnobbing
with the Varsity end.
I'm not hobnobbing with him.
All right. You know
him. That's enough.
That means I can
get to know him,
get to be friends with him.
My old friend Muley.
I can get to know all
the guys on the team.
Maybe they'll let me sit
on the bench with them.
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Huh?
If you aren't careful, you're
going to be carrying a ball.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, that couldn't be
Merle... I mean Muley.
- What time is it?
- At 6:30?
It could be.
- I'll get it.
- Oh, I'll get it.
Now wait a minute,
kids. Hey, kitten!
- Oh. Hi, Mr. Orkin.
- Hello.
Is this where Betty
Anderson lives?
She's eating dinner. Come on in.
I'm sorry. I'm early, I guess.
Just tell her I was here.
Well, no. Don't go away.
Hey, Betty, Muley's here!
Say, how are things on the team?
Run along, children.
You're just a little
ahead of time, Merle.
I didn't expect
you till 7 or 7:30.
Yeah. I'm kind of early.
I'll come back later.
Well, you may as well come
in as long as you're here.
No. You're eating.
I'll just wait out here.
You can't stand out
here. Come in the house.
I'll sit down on this step
and read or something.
You're not going to
sit out here and read.
Now come in the house right now.
Go in the living
room and sit down.
I'll be finished with
dinner in just a minute.
Uh, now, this
paragraph is important.
It explains the social forces
which motivated the writings
of this particular period
and...
Merle, please pay attention.
Just look at the book.
No, here. Right here.
"The Romantic era is typified
"by the shorter works
of such writers of the time
as..."
There's no use trying
to do any more tonight.
You're just not listening.
Merle, how do you
expect me to help you
if you don't cooperate?
You'd better pick up
your books and things.
It's time for you to go home.
- [clatter]
- Oh, Merle, be careful.
Merle!
Sorry.
Thanks for helping me,
taking the time and everything.
Well, I don't mind
helping you, Merle,
if you'll just cooperate.
Oh, for heaven's sake, Merle.
I'm sorry. They slip.
I don't know how you
manage to hold on to a football.
Uh, Betty, I was
going to ask you.
Tomorrow's the game.
We're playing over at Sheraton.
Are you going to go?
I can't Merle. I have
to study for a test.
Oh.
Well, I was wondering
about tomorrow night.
Would you like to go out to
the Harvest Moon Dance?
I'm sorry, Merle.
Not tomorrow night.
Thank you for asking me.
Good night, Merle.
This maybe will
sound sort of crazy,
but I want you to know
that tomorrow afternoon,
I'm going to be playing
that game for you.
Well, that's nice of you, Merle.
I wish you luck.
Thanks. Good night.
Good night, Merle.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Well, how did it go, teacher?
There is unquestionably
the biggest oaf
in the entire world.
He simply has no brain.
I swear, he spent
the whole evening
sitting out there staring at me.
Say, where's Muley?
Muley has gone back to the barn.
Well, if he stared
at you all evening,
I'd consider that a compliment.
You enchanted him
with your beauty.
Eww!
What's the matter?
Don't you like him?
He can't think. He can't talk.
He can't move without practically
knocking the whole house down.
He's positively the clumsiest
human being I've ever seen.
[clunk]
Do you realize you're talking
about the first string end
on the college football team?
First string end. I wouldn't
trust that big lummox
to sweep up peanut
shells in the grandstand.
- What?
- And it isn't bad enough
that I have to tutor him.
Now he wants me
to go out with him.
He asked you for a date?
When are you going?
Never. I wouldn't
go out with him
if he were the last
creature on earth.
[Bud] Well, this is too much.
She's just gone. She's way gone.
Stop it.
Betty, are you sure
you're not being
unreasonable about this?
Oh, now, what do you think?
In the game over at
Sheraton tomorrow,
he says he's going
to be playing for me.
Now, can you imagine that?
I feel sorry for
Springfield's chances
if they're counting on him.
They won't have to tackle him.
He'll fall over his own feet.
Oof!
Oh, how I hate that
Midge Patterson!
How did Midge
Patterson get into it?
Midge is the key
to the whole thing.
Midge was in charge
of this tutoring group.
Apparently, she took the
handsomest boy for herself
and dumped poor Muley on Betty.
Well, just how stuck
up can one sister be?
That's what I want to know.
Who does she
think she is anyway,
the queen of the jungle?
If I was Muley, I'd pop her one
right in the chops, boy.
Women. Just litter up the earth.
Well. That was quite a storm.
While it lasted.
We laugh at this,
but I don't like
Betty's attitude one bit.
Who does she think she
is, the queen of the jungle?
Why, are you worried
about little Muley?
I think someone
should worry about him.
He's a big, innocent moose...
Shy and probably sensitive
about his... his looks
and his awkwardness.
Oh, it's plain he's
got a crush on Betty.
And I'm afraid she's
going to hurt him.
Oh, I don't think so.
You don't know girls.
Well, I think I know Betty.
She's a lot like you.
Oh, she'll breathe fire
and threaten havoc
and devastation,
but when it comes right down
to the act of being
cruel, of hurting someone,
she won't do it.
Oh, she pretends
to be a fiery female,
but underneath, she...
You know what she is?
She's a mother hen.
Next time he comes over,
if he stares at me all evening,
I'm going to take
Bud's baseball bat
and bash him
right over the head!
[door slams]
That's a mother hen?
Ladies and gentlemen,
the game between
Springfield and Sheraton
- is about to begin.
- [crowd cheering]
And here, to give you
a play-by-play account,
is a former Sheraton alumnus.
Our honored guest
at the microphone,
that world-famous
sportscaster...
Ted Husing.
Well, thank you, Van.
You know, it's a real
thrill to be back here,
among the scenes
of my college days,
to bring you this
fine football game.
It's the big one between
those traditional rivals
Springfield and Sheraton.
It's a sunny afternoon
here at Sheraton Stadium.
And there's the toss.
Springfield wins the
toss and elects to receive.
Sheraton will kick off.
Hey, Tallulah, can you hear it?
Yes, I can hear it.
And here we go,
Carmichael kicking
off for Sheraton.
And he comes
up to meet the ball.
Boots it. It's a high one,
going down the field,
coming down on the 3 yard line,
and Davis takes it.
No return. He's
tackled immediately
and brought down to the dirt.
This just came for you,
delivered from the drugstore.
I didn't order anything.
Springfield comes
out of the huddle.
Warren is wide.
And the ball is
about to be snapped.
And here it is,
with Davis fading
back to the end zone.
He throws a long forward
pass intended for Orkin,
and Orkin has it.
Muley got it! He got it!
He's off for the races.
He's on the 40 yard line,
down to the 30 yard line,
and there two of the
Sheraton tacklers are after him.
And he is going.
Look at that boy go.
And as he runs down,
he goes to the 20 yard line
- to the 10 yard line...
- [crowd cheering]
and continues over
for a touchdown.
- Hey!
- How do you like that guy?
He went all the way!
I told you, that guy's great.
Listen to the crowd.
They're yelling for Muley.
Candy. I wonder who sent it.
Here.
Oh.
"To Betty with
cherished affection
"from your devoted admired...
Merle Orkin."
That's a very nice sentiment.
Cherished affection?
That means you're his girl.
I am not.
And do you know who
made four touchdowns?
I could never guess.
Good old Muley. That
guy was all over the field.
He was catching passes,
he was intercepting passes,
he was running. He
was doing everything.
You know, the crowd
was going crazy.
Toward the end of the game,
the announcer was calling
him the one-man football team.
He said Muley was
playing inspired football.
Hello, inspiration.
Very funny. I'll finish
my dress, Mother.
So where are you going?
I have a date with Ralph.
I'm going to the
Harvest Moon Dance.
- [doorbell rings]
- Ralph.
Bud, see who's at
the front door, will you?
[Kathy] I'll get it!
Hi, Mr. Muley.
Hello. Is Betty home?
Sure. Come on in.
No. I'll just wait out here.
You were sure good
in the game today.
- We heard it.
- Thanks.
Just a minute. I'll
get Betty. Betty!
Muley's here.
- Hello, Merle.
- Hello.
You never let me talk to him.
You're just plain selfish.
Thanks for the candy,
and congratulations on the game.
Thank you.
What happened to your
face? Did you get hurt?
Oh, no, it's nothing.
Well, don't you want to come in?
If it's all right.
Did you wash your face
before you put
those bandages on?
Oh, sure.
Uh, Betty, what I
wanted to ask you...
Well, I was wondering
if maybe you changed
your mind about tonight.
That's what I was
playing the game for today,
so that you might
change your mind
and go to the Harvest
Moon Dance with me.
I'm sorry, Merle.
I told you yesterday
I have another date.
Well, I just
thought... you know.
You shouldn't go
out tonight anyway
after the game this afternoon.
You should go to bed.
Yeah.
Well...
I just thought I'd ask.
I'll see you.
Well, how was Merle?
He's a mess.
It looks like he'd been
run over by a herd of cattle.
He wanted to know if
I'd changed my mind
about going out with him tonight
because of the
game this afternoon.
I told him I definitely had not.
Well, you can't help
feeling sorry for him.
Are you kidding?
Feeling sorry for him?
She's the one you
want to feel sorry for.
Turning down a date
with Muley, the
hero of the school,
to go out with
that nothing Ralph.
[phone rings]
That's probably Ralph now.
[ring]
Hello.
Is this Betty Anderson?
- Yes.
- Betty, you've never met me.
I'm Mrs. Orkin, Merle's mother.
Merle's on his way
over to your house.
When he gets there,
would you ask him
to stop at the grocery
on his way home
and get a loaf of white
bread and three lamb chops?
I'd be glad to,
Mrs. Orkin, but...
Thank you so much.
And I want to tell you, Betty,
how much you've done for Merle.
Well, Mrs. Orkin...
There's been the greatest
improvement in him.
I don't know what
you did or said to him.
I'll have to learn your secret.
I've tried everything
I could think of
to make him take an interest
in his studies and
his appearance,
but I'm just his mother.
He won't listen to me.
Well, Mrs. Orkin, what
I was trying to tell you,
Merle's already been here.
He left just a minute ago.
Oh.
Well, it was nice
talking to you, Betty.
Goodbye.
What's she thanking me for?
Under protest I
agreed to work with him,
and 24 hours later I'm
practically his fairy godmother.
This wasn't part of the bargain.
I will not get mixed
up in his personal life.
- Would you?
- [doorbell rings]
I'm a little confused.
Oh, I'll bet that's
Merle back again.
I'm going to end this
whole thing right here.
What was he supposed
to get at the store?
Lamb chops and what
else? Bread, that was it.
- Hi. Are you Betty Anderson?
- Yes. What is it?
We're looking for
Muley. Is he over here?
You're his guardian or
something, aren't you?
I certainly am not.
What do you want?
Where are you hiding him?
His mother said
he was over here.
We're not going to hurt him.
Did you find Muley?
She's got him locked
in the basement.
- Merle is not here.
- Well, where is he?
We're going to take him
to the Harvest Moon Dance.
What do you mean
"We're going to take him"?
All of us. The Muley
Orkin Fan Club.
- Oh!
- Look!
- Who's that?
- Who's he?
That is my father.
Hey, what's going on out there?
Betty? I don't know.
Merle's mother phoned.
Merle was here. I'm lost.
I don't know what she's doing.
- There's a whole...
- [door slams open]
The vultures are on his trail.
The wolf pack is in full cry.
The Muley Orkin Fan
Club is on the march.
Uhh!
Those predatory creatures
with their fangs bared.
Vicious little females,
all squealing and clawing,
all hunting for that
poor, innocent goof.
I thought for a minute
they were after me.
- Oh, hush.
- Flattering little snips.
They probably swarm from
one campus hero to the next.
Now the target is Merle.
Oh, when they find him,
they'll swarm all over him,
build up his ego, and
ruin him completely!
There's not one of them there
that's fit to shine his shoes.
Well, don't look at me.
He's not my responsibility.
I'm not his mother.
She has a problem, dear.
Where's the advice?
Oh, she doesn't need any advice.
What she does from here
on will be strictly automatic.
A little thing called Ye
Olde Maternal Instinct.
[phone rings]
[ring]
Hello.
Hello, Mrs. Orkin.
This is Betty Anderson.
Is Merle there?
He came in just a minute ago.
Hold the line. I'll call him.
Merle, you're
wanted on the phone.
Who is it?
It's Betty Anderson. Hurry up.
Betty?
Don't mumble and stammer
when you talk to her.
Speak up. Speak
slowly and distinctly.
Yes, Mother.
Don't slouch over.
Stand up straight.
Hello.
Hello, Merle. This is Betty.
Would you still like to take me
to the Harvest Moon Dance?
Sure, if you'll go. I
mean, do you want to?
Well, I wouldn't have called you
if I didn't want to go with you.
I can't hear you,
Merle. Don't mumble.
Wear a dark suit
and pick me up about 8:00.
Uh... Uh... I'll be there.
Y-Yeah, sure.
I mean thanks.
Goodbye.
Hey, Mom!
I'm taking Betty to the dance!
Oh!
Well, that's nice.
Now shine your shoes,
and don't wear that red
tie with the spots on it.
Yes, Mother.
And stand up straight, Merle.
Betty, what did you
decide about Merle?
I'm going to the dance with him.
Well, somebody has
to protect the big oaf.
What about Ralph?
I'll call him and explain.
He'll understand.
His cousin's in town. He
can take her to the dance.
You know, I don't
really dislike Merle.
He's sweet and gentle,
but he's just not for me.
Still, I couldn't throw him
to those female wolves.
What was I going to do?
You did the right
thing, so don't worry.
What if he thinks I like him?
Then he'll be tied
to my apron strings
for the rest of my life.
I'd like to know
why it's always me
who gets into these things.
I must be dumb... D-U-M-B dumb!
I've never learned
to dance very good.
You mean you didn't
learn to dance well.
I didn't learn at all.
You're doing fine.
Don't slouch over, and
don't watch your feet.
Hi, Betty.
Oh, hi, Ralph. You know Merle.
- Sure. Hello, Merle.
- Hello.
Betty, this is my
cousin Shirley.
They just moved
here from St. Louis.
- Hi, there.
- Hi, Betty.
Shirley, I'd like you
to meet Merle Orkin.
- Hello, Merle.
- Hello.
I've been admiring your suit.
Tall men always
look so well dressed.
[Ralph] Well, we'll
see you later, huh?
Bye.
She's kind of nice.
Oh, shall we sit down, Merle?
My feet are killing me.
Hey, Muley. How are you?
Hello, Betty.
It... It's a pretty
good dance, isn't it?
Yes, it's lovely.
Merle, sit up straight.
Don't slouch over.
[music ends, dancers applaud]
You look so much better
when you sit up straight.
There. That's much better.
You look all caved in
when you hunch over.
Sit up straight, Merle.
Don't slouch over.
Please pull up your tie, Merle.
It's hanging way down.
You can see the
button on your collar.
Just pull your tie up so
it's against your collar.
It looks so much
neater that way.
There. That looks much better.
Nothing looks worse
than a sloppy tie.
Is there anything else
that needs to be fixed?
Is my hair combed?
Are my ears on straight?
Merle, I'm just
trying to help you.
You'll never be a
success and be popular
if you're not careful
about such things.
- Hi.
- Hi.
We're just table-hopping.
- Mind if we join you?
- No. Gather around.
- Quite a shindig, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
Would you like
to dance, Shirley?
- Do you mind, Ralph.
- No. Go ahead.
I'm not a very good dancer.
Okay. That starts us even.
Excuse me.
Well, old Muley
and my kid cousin
are quite a pair.
Looks like it might turn
out to be something.
Are you crying?
You wanted Muley to
meet a nice girl, didn't you?
What's wrong, then?
He doesn't need me anymore.
Good night.
Well, how was the dance?
Yes. Give us a
report on old Merle.
Merle met Ralph's
cousin Shirley,
and it was love at first sight.
She's going to help
him with his studies.
I'm out, cast aside
like an old shoe.
Well, don't worry.
Shirley will take
good care of him.
Well, she'd better,
or she'll hear from me.
I can tell you that.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night. Mother.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA