Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 4, Episode 17 - The Rivals - full transcript
[Announcer] Here are...
with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,
and Lauren Chapin in...
Working a fly rod
is all wrist action.
- Like a whip?
- That's right.
The tip of the rod
does all the work.
Here, I'll show you.
We'll just imagine
there's a big pool there
in the corner of the room,
with a great big
old speckled trout.
Now we stand back,
and without a sound,
we'll flip a gray hackle
in the riffle at the
head of the pool.
Good cast.
The fly hit the water
about 6 feet above the fish.
Now we'll let it drift down,
over the rock where he's hiding.
Watch it now.
Be ready for a strike.
Shh.
[Betty] Mother!
You scared the fish!
Oh, sorry. I forgot we had
a lake in the living room.
It's a river.
Hey, that's quite an outfit.
You like it?
You look like a Swiss
barmaid in an English movie.
Where you going,
to a yodeling contest?
We are going square
dancing tonight.
Who's we, you and Ralph?
Naturally.
Did you call me, Betty?
Mother, do you think you could
set the button over this cuff?
It's so tight.
Kathy, run in the den and
get my sewing basket, will you?
Don't catch any
fish until I get back.
It's been so long since
we've been square dancing,
I've probably
forgotten everything.
Oh, there's nothing to it.
Do-si-do and a little more do.
- Move your big feet 'cause
you're stepping on my toe.
- [doorbell rings]
I'll get it.
- Oh, hi, Ralph. Come on in.
- Hi, Kathy. Hi, folks.
- Hello, Ralph.
- Ralph, you're early.
I just stopped by to tell you I
have to drive my aunt to the train.
I'll be about five minutes
late picking you up.
That's all right.
Can I have the fish pole?
It's not a fish
pole. It's a fly rod.
I'll get your tackle
box ready, Dad.
Thanks, Bud.
Isn't Ralph sweet?
So thoughtful.
Dear, dependable Ralph.
You know how long
we've been going together?
I don't know. For
about 14 years.
He was first in this house
on your fifth birthday party.
I remember he somehow got the
vacuum cleaner open and spilled the bag.
We had to give him a bath.
That's perfect, Mother. Thanks.
[doorbell rings]
Hi, Betty.
Oh, Marge. Come on in.
Oh, I'm positively dead.
I ran all the way from my house.
What's wrong?
I had to get away
from the house.
John Davis is taking
me to the dance tonight,
and you know I've
been going with Frank.
Well, Frank's jealous, and he's
practically plodding our street.
I couldn't let John
pick me up at my house
with Frank hovering
around just waiting for him.
Oh, it's the most awful mess.
I phoned John and told
him to pick me up here.
- I hope you don't mind.
- Of course not.
I had to do something.
You know what a
terrible temper Frank has.
He gets livid if another
boy even looks at me.
I live in an absolute nightmare,
surrounded by jealous men.
You have no idea
how lucky you are
to have just one boyfriend.
Steady old Ralph.
You have no
worries, no problems.
You don't have
this constant rivalry.
[car horn honks]
There's John.
If Frank calls, don't
tell him anything.
- Bye.
- Bye.
In fishing with a dry fly,
you want your fly to float,
so you put some of this
stuff on it. It's kind of a wax.
Oh, I'm dizzy. That Marge.
She talks a million
miles an hour.
We heard the first of it,
about her jealous boyfriend.
Marge is always in a turmoil,
hiding from this boy
to go out with that boy.
Not that Marge isn't cute,
but you'd think she was
the only girl in the world.
I don't get it. The
whole thing escapes me.
Boys chase me all the time.
That's because you're
so modest and shy.
Well, I'm not putting
myself in Marge's class,
but your father had
a little competition
when he was dating me.
Remember Roger Gilfoil?
He used to drive that
beautiful powder-blue roadster.
That was his mother's car.
Oh, and Herb Chase.
What a time I had,
keeping you and Herb apart.
My mother lived in mortal fear
that you two would
show up at the same time,
and there'd be a
battle in the front yard.
It was fun.
Mother.
We weren't married.
She was free to go out with
those other goofs if she wanted to.
It gave her a chance to see
how wonderful I
was by comparison.
Oh, get you.
In case you didn't know,
most girls have more
than one boyfriend.
If a girl's even
a little bit sharp,
she doesn't go out with
the same guy all the time,
unlike some people I know.
If you're referring
to Ralph and me...
Now, let's not get personal.
I go with a different
boy every day.
Sometimes two
different boys in one day.
I switch at lunchtime.
Well, all I know is that Ralph
doesn't have any competition.
When the doorbell
rings Saturday night,
it's always good old Ralph.
Doesn't he ever get suspicious?
- Bud.
- Now that's enough, Bud.
Well, it's a fact.
Got to face the facts.
A guy goes to a movie and
there's nobody else in the theater,
maybe it's a bum show.
Oh, you!
What was Bud talking about?
Somebody going to a movie?
Talk. Just talk.
I go out with Ralph
because I like him,
and I think he
likes me for myself,
not because he wants to be
first in the scramble for a girl.
Stupid idea there
has to be competition.
It's ridiculous.
Puts getting a date with a
girl on the same category
as winning a ham in a raffle.
I could have other
boyfriends if I wanted them.
Well, I could.
I didn't say anything.
Ralph is a nice,
sweet, considerate boy.
I couldn't ask for anyone nicer.
Oh, I like Ralph.
Oh, this family.
[doorbell rings]
It's awfully easy
to say the wrong
thing in this family,
even when you
don't say anything.
Hm, well, I'll see you, Ralph.
Yeah, see you later, Bud.
- Ready?
- Of course I'm ready.
Anything wrong?
Oh, Ralph, you make me so mad.
Me? What did I do?
[growls]
♪♪ [country]
[Caller] ♪ Grab your
partner and lean to his side ♪
♪ All join hands
in the circle wide ♪
♪ Keep on going
right around that ring ♪
♪ Face your little partner
with the old right hand ♪
♪ And here we go with
the right and left grand ♪
♪ With the right, to the
left, go round again ♪
♪ It's hand over hand
with a pretty little thing ♪
♪ Take your girl and
promenade, go two by two ♪
♪ And get them on home
like you ought to do ♪
♪ Now ladies to the center,
and back to the barn ♪
♪ And the gents to the
center with a right-hand star ♪
♪ Now back to the left,
and you don't be afraid ♪
♪ And pick up your
girl, start to promenade ♪
♪ Come on now, don't be afraid ♪
♪ Now the boys back
down with a turn and a hat ♪
♪ Put the ladies in the middle
and listen to them laugh ♪
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
♪ And the ladies back
out with the turn of a hat ♪
♪ Put the gents in the
middle like they were before ♪
♪ Walk right around
when the going's slow ♪
♪ Everybody swing and whirl ♪
♪ Around and around
with the pretty little girls ♪
♪ Now ladies in the center
and back to the barn ♪
♪ And the gents to the
center with a right-hand star ♪
♪ Back with a left, and
now don't be afraid ♪
♪ Go round in a ring,
it's a hand over hand ♪
♪ With a pretty little thing ♪
♪ Keep that girl and
promenade that pretty little girl ♪
♪ Take a little walk,
go round the room ♪
[no audible dialogue]
♪ ...with your right hand ♪
♪ Here we go with
a right step grand ♪
♪ With the right hand
out, go round in a ring ♪
♪ It's hand over hand
with a pretty little thing ♪
♪ Get your girl and
promenade, two by two ♪
♪ Get them on home
like you ought to do ♪
♪ Now ladies in the center
and back to the barn ♪
♪ And the gents to the
center with a right-hand star ♪
♪ Now back with a
left, and don't be afraid ♪
♪ And pick up your
girl, start to promenade ♪
♪ Come on now, don't be afraid ♪
♪ Now the boys back
down with a turn and a hat ♪
♪ Put the ladies in the middle
and listen to them laugh ♪
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
♪ And the ladies back
out with the turn of a hat ♪
♪ Put the gents in the
middle like they were before ♪
[no audible dialogue]
♪ Everybody swing and whirl ♪
♪ Around and around
with the pretty little girls ♪
[applause]
My feet are killing me.
I thought the car was
real cute, didn't you?
I'm about to die of starvation.
That's the only thing
wrong with square dancing.
Women get so darned hungry.
How'd we end up in this place?
I thought we were
going to Louie's.
This was her idea.
Oh, we couldn't go to Louie's.
Everybody in
school will be there.
Ralph, going out with Marge
is a real cloak and
dagger operation.
Full of intrigue.
We're like being spies.
We can't go here because
Eddie might see us.
We can't go there
because Frank might see us.
We scurry from shadow to shadow.
Oh, that's not true.
My life's in danger every
minute I'm out with her.
I never know when I'm
going to be leaped upon
by one of her insanely
jealous boyfriends.
You make it sound
as if there are dozens.
Well, aren't there?
Well, there's only one
we have to worry about,
and that's Frank.
Yeah, but he's 6'7".
You see how lucky you are
going with a girl like Betty?
You have no competition.
Nothing to worry about.
Thank you, John Davis.
I'll say something nice
about you sometime.
What'd I say?
I think we'd better
quit talking and order.
The food's supposed
to be real good.
My brother says all the
truck drivers eat here.
How about four hamburgers
with chocolate malts?
Four burgers, four malts.
Uh, Betty, when I said Ralph
didn't have any competition,
I didn't mean...
Look, let's not make
things any worse.
You opened your big fat mouth
and stuck your foot right in it.
Don't look now,
but that handsome half-man,
half-beast at the counter
has found someone at
this table very interesting.
He's looking at you, Betty.
Friend of yours?
I don't know who he is.
Not for certain.
You think maybe you know him?
He looks like a fellow I knew,
but he didn't have a beard.
What's his name? Think.
Why are you getting so fired up?
Oh, be quiet.
If it'll make everyone happier,
I'll go ask him for his card.
Won't be necessary.
I've been away from
Springfield two years,
and a lot of things
have changed,
and a lot of people
have changed.
Are you Betty Anderson?
I'm Doyle Hobbs.
You signed up for
summer vocational training
with the dizzy idea of
becoming a civil engineer,
and they assigned you to my
surveying crew. Remember that?
I remember very well.
It's good to see you again,
Betty. You cut your hair?
Mr. Hobbs, I don't mind
being in the middle
of old home week,
but would you please
move back a little?
You're standing on my foot.
Good morning, Father.
Good morning, princess.
How was the square
dance last night?
The dance was so-so,
but what happened
afterward... Oh!
Hi. Anything for breakfast?
The most of us
have already eaten,
but I can scrape up something.
What happened
afterward, after the dance?
We all went to the Highway
Cafe for hamburgers,
and you'll never
guess who I saw there.
You'll never guess
in a thousand years.
Doyle Hobbs.
Doyle Hobbs.
Remember a couple of years ago
I thought I wanted
to be an engineer?
I remember. He tried
to discourage you.
Said that woman's
place was in the home.
- That's Doyle.
- Outdoor type.
A rugged
individualist, as I recall.
Definitely. He's
been up in Canada
with some mining company.
You know, at first I
didn't even recognize him.
He had on these dirty old
khakis and he hadn't shaved.
And when Doyle came up
to the table and spoke to me,
you should have seen the
expression on Ralph's face.
He turned six shades of purple.
Hold it, Bud. Red light.
Why do you have to go through the
house with that gasoline equipment?
To get from the
front to the back.
You could use the
driveway, you know.
That goes from the front
to the back, and vice versa.
Yeah, I could, I guess.
[phone rings]
That's probably good
old steady Ralph.
Hello. Betty? Right here.
Doyle Hobbs.
How do you know?
He told me.
Hello?
Betty, this is Doyle.
Well, hello.
I don't like people who
wait till the last minute
to make engagements, but
this is an exceptional situation.
I read in the paper here that tonight
is the annual Concert Under the Stars.
- Would you like to go?
- Uh, Concert Under the Stars?
Well, I, uh,
sort of have a halfway
date for it, Doyle.
What do you mean sort of? Either
you have a date for it, or you haven't.
- If you haven't,
I'd like to take you.
- Well, it's just that...
Marge Corbett just
drove up in front.
All right. It's a date.
I'll be over to pick
you up at exactly 7:30.
All right. I'll be ready. Bye.
I thought you were going
to the concert with Ralph.
Oh, well, he mentioned
something about it months ago,
but he's said nothing since.
- [doorbell rings]
- That's Marge
at the front door.
I know.
Oh, you see...
Well, she can't just sit at home
and wait for Ralph to
decide what he's going to do.
She's not his personal property.
Well, don't jump on
me. I just said I thought
you were going with
Ralph, and if he did ask you,
and you accepted, then I
certainly think you ought to...
Excuse me, Father.
I'll bet you a $1,000
against a plugged nickel,
she made a date
with Ralph for tonight.
Then why hasn't he
said something about it?
What is he supposed to say?
- [doorbell rings]
- Oh.
- Hi.
- Hi. Come on in.
I was afraid you weren't home.
I had to talk to you
about last night.
I would've called, but my sneaky
father beat me to the phone.
Come on upstairs.
- Doyle just phoned just now.
- Oh!
A little competition
will be good for Ralph.
I remember it worked
wonders on you.
Oh, Margaret.
Last night, right
in this very spot,
Betty said competition
was ridiculous...
That it put getting
a date with a girl
in the same category as
winning a ham at a raffle.
[phone rings]
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Anderson?
This is Ralph.
[horn honking]
Oh, hello, Ralph.
- Is Betty...
- [honking continues]
Look, Mr. Anderson. I've
got a nervous customer here.
Would you tell Betty I'll pick
her up for the concert about 7:30?
[phone clicks]
Ralph...
Ralph?
Well, this is going to be
an interesting raffle tonight
for our popular little ham.
There'll be two winning numbers.
There's no excuse for it.
Betty's practically
a grown woman.
Oh, having two dates for
one night isn't exactly a crime.
- Oh.
- I remember the time
when you and Doug
Hodges both thought
you were taking me to a dance.
Oh, that was different.
You were just confused.
The thing that gets my goat
about this Ralph and Doyle business
is I think Betty's
pulling it off on purpose.
And somebody's gonna
get a raw deal out of it.
Oh, men of Springfield, arise.
Fight against the raw deal.
Why are you so worried
about Ralph and Doyle?
Big lugs can look
after themselves.
Margaret, what kind
of an attitude is this?
This isn't like you.
And it's not like you
to get so steamed up
over a little confusion
in Betty's dates.
Little confusion? Ha!
I'm gonna have a
talk with that girl.
I couldn't tell too much what Doyle
looked like with that beard last night.
Oh, he's a real dreamy
thing. He's very masculine.
Betty! Oh.
How are you, Mr. Anderson?
Uh, hello, Marge.
- You want me, Father?
- Well...
Oh, say, who was that
that phoned a little bit ago?
It was Ralph.
Ralph? What did he say?
He said he'd be by tonight at
7:30 to take you to the concert.
Oh, no! Doyle will
be here at 7:30.
What am I gonna do? I'll die.
Oh, Ralph will be hysterical,
and Doyle will
go out of his mind.
Lucky.
I'll see you tonight.
Maybe. Good luck.
What goes on?
Deceiving two innocent boys.
Is this an accomplishment?
Why are you getting
so worked up, Father?
I'm getting worked up
because I don't like
what you're doing.
What's gotten into you and your
mother? That's what I want to know.
Have you lost all
sense of fair play?
Father, you just
don't understand.
I understand when you're being
reasonable, when you're being yourself.
But this business of... Two
dates on the same night.
And is she worried? Is
she sorry? She's delighted.
And because I don't congratulate
her on this deliberate fraud,
I'm accused of
not understanding.
Dear, she did not
deliberately make two dates.
Not really. It was just, uh,
fortunate that it
worked out that way.
Fortunate?
Well, uh, isn't there an
old saying to the effect
that every dog is
entitled to one bite?
Well, I think that every
girl, at some time in her life,
is entitled to have
two dates for one night.
I consider that a highly
questionable philosophy.
What about Ralph and
Doyle? Has anyone considered
how they're gonna
feel about all this?
Only one of them will
be disappointed, Father,
and he'll get over it.
Mighty charitable of
you. Oh, come back here.
- What do you want?
- Call Ralph or Doyle...
I don't care which...
And cancel out for tonight.
There's no hurry.
I have all day.
All day?
Yes, sir.
- Fill it up.
- Right.
- Nice fly rod you got there.
- Thanks.
- Been out?
- Not yet.
Thought I'd go up and try
Willow Creek this afternoon.
It's a nice stream if
you know the right spots.
You a fisherman?
Oh, I hook a trout now and then.
Say, didn't I meet you last
night at the Highway Cafe?
I thought I'd seen
you someplace before.
- You're Doyle Hobbs.
- Yeah. You're, uh, Ralph.
Right. Well, if you're
going up to Willow Creek,
leave your car at the bridge and
walk downstream about a mile.
I won't have time. I gotta be
back in town early. I got a date.
How do you get out to this place where
they're having the Concert Under the Stars?
Oh, just go out Highway
12 to Cedar Grove Park.
Follow the signs.
You can't miss it.
Maybe I'll see you out there
tonight. Betty and I are going.
- Betty Anderson?
- Yeah.
Are you sure she's
going with you?
Sure I'm sure.
One of us better reel in, boy.
We've got our lines crossed.
Betty has a date
with me for tonight.
This new line
feels different, Dad.
It was made to float.
You don't have to dress it
to keep it on the
surface with a dry fly.
Did you call Ralph or Doyle and
straighten things out about tonight?
- Not yet, but I will.
- [scoffs]
Haven't decided which
one I want to go with.
[high-pitched voice] I haven't
decided with one I want to go with.
Well, we'll settle this
little matter right now.
That's the stuff, Dad.
Pin her ears back.
Mother, where's
the ironing board?
I want to press this
dress for tonight.
In the broom closet
where it always is.
- Betty?
- Hmm?
All right. You've had your fun.
I want you to get on that
phone, call Ralph or Doyle,
apologize and cancel
out for this evening.
All right. Which
one will I call?
Well, that's up to you. You
know the right thing to do.
I suppose I'll
have to call Doyle.
All right, then. Call him.
You should've
done it this morning.
- [doorbell rings]
- Bud'll see who's at the door.
You make your call.
You two.
[dialing phone]
Hello, Bud. Remember
me? I'm Doyle Hobbs.
- Oh, yeah. Hi. Come on in.
- Is Betty in?
Yeah. I think she's in
the kitchen. I'll get her.
Hey, irresistible,
Doyle's out there.
Doyle!
Women!
Well, this saves
you a phone call.
You can go right in
there and tell Doyle
that you had a mix-up
with your dates tonight.
I can't let him see me
like this. My hair's a mess.
What's the difference? You're
not going out with him anyway.
[Bud whistles]
Now hear this. Guess
who just drove up in front.
None other than good old Ralph.
Oh, no!
Well, we've reached
an interesting point
in your little game.
Doyle's in the living
room, and Ralph out front.
What happens now?
Ralph's not out in front.
You're just saying that.
- [horn honking]
- I am?
- What am I gonna do?
- Let him in.
With Doyle in there?
They'll kill each other.
[Jim] It's a chance
you'll have to take.
Naturally, you don't care.
You're not the one
they're fighting over.
What a phony.
[high-pitched voice]
Naturally, you don't care.
You're not the one
they're fighting over.
It's beautiful, wonderful me.
[normal voice]
She's having a ball.
Doyle, wait! Don't
open the door, please.
- Why not?
- You don't know
who's out there.
Yeah, I saw him through
the window. It's Ralph.
- Hi. Come on in.
- Hello.
Well, now... now, Ralph, Doyle,
please try to act like
grown-up, civilized men.
Just come on in the
living room and sit down.
I'll explain everything.
- Don't make a scene, please.
- Who's making a scene?
[Doyle] I just want to find out
who you're going out with tonight.
I guess Ralph wants
to know the same thing.
Well, I didn't mean to
cause all this trouble, really.
- What trouble?
- Between you and Ralph.
Hey, that's nice
action. Try that.
I didn't realize, when I
made the date with you
for tonight, Doyle, I'd
already told Ralph...
- Nice.
- Are you listening?
Sure.
How's the cat-and-mouse game?
The cat's in trouble.
It belongs to Betty's dad.
He knows how to use it,
too. A good man on a stream.
Well, about tonight...
- I have an idea.
- Yes?
- Let's go fishing.
- What?
You can get off work, can't you?
Sure. Hey, another idea.
Let's ask Mr. Anderson
to go along.
He knows Willow Creek
like the back of his hand.
Right. We'll all get back
in time to go to the concert.
- Okay. Is that a deal?
- Great.
What about me?
- Oh, you can go along.
- Sure.
[laughing]
Imagine, my daughter
playing second fiddle to a fish.
You should complain
about second fiddle.
After the way
she's been playing,
she's lucky to even
be in the orchestra.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,
and Lauren Chapin in...
Working a fly rod
is all wrist action.
- Like a whip?
- That's right.
The tip of the rod
does all the work.
Here, I'll show you.
We'll just imagine
there's a big pool there
in the corner of the room,
with a great big
old speckled trout.
Now we stand back,
and without a sound,
we'll flip a gray hackle
in the riffle at the
head of the pool.
Good cast.
The fly hit the water
about 6 feet above the fish.
Now we'll let it drift down,
over the rock where he's hiding.
Watch it now.
Be ready for a strike.
Shh.
[Betty] Mother!
You scared the fish!
Oh, sorry. I forgot we had
a lake in the living room.
It's a river.
Hey, that's quite an outfit.
You like it?
You look like a Swiss
barmaid in an English movie.
Where you going,
to a yodeling contest?
We are going square
dancing tonight.
Who's we, you and Ralph?
Naturally.
Did you call me, Betty?
Mother, do you think you could
set the button over this cuff?
It's so tight.
Kathy, run in the den and
get my sewing basket, will you?
Don't catch any
fish until I get back.
It's been so long since
we've been square dancing,
I've probably
forgotten everything.
Oh, there's nothing to it.
Do-si-do and a little more do.
- Move your big feet 'cause
you're stepping on my toe.
- [doorbell rings]
I'll get it.
- Oh, hi, Ralph. Come on in.
- Hi, Kathy. Hi, folks.
- Hello, Ralph.
- Ralph, you're early.
I just stopped by to tell you I
have to drive my aunt to the train.
I'll be about five minutes
late picking you up.
That's all right.
Can I have the fish pole?
It's not a fish
pole. It's a fly rod.
I'll get your tackle
box ready, Dad.
Thanks, Bud.
Isn't Ralph sweet?
So thoughtful.
Dear, dependable Ralph.
You know how long
we've been going together?
I don't know. For
about 14 years.
He was first in this house
on your fifth birthday party.
I remember he somehow got the
vacuum cleaner open and spilled the bag.
We had to give him a bath.
That's perfect, Mother. Thanks.
[doorbell rings]
Hi, Betty.
Oh, Marge. Come on in.
Oh, I'm positively dead.
I ran all the way from my house.
What's wrong?
I had to get away
from the house.
John Davis is taking
me to the dance tonight,
and you know I've
been going with Frank.
Well, Frank's jealous, and he's
practically plodding our street.
I couldn't let John
pick me up at my house
with Frank hovering
around just waiting for him.
Oh, it's the most awful mess.
I phoned John and told
him to pick me up here.
- I hope you don't mind.
- Of course not.
I had to do something.
You know what a
terrible temper Frank has.
He gets livid if another
boy even looks at me.
I live in an absolute nightmare,
surrounded by jealous men.
You have no idea
how lucky you are
to have just one boyfriend.
Steady old Ralph.
You have no
worries, no problems.
You don't have
this constant rivalry.
[car horn honks]
There's John.
If Frank calls, don't
tell him anything.
- Bye.
- Bye.
In fishing with a dry fly,
you want your fly to float,
so you put some of this
stuff on it. It's kind of a wax.
Oh, I'm dizzy. That Marge.
She talks a million
miles an hour.
We heard the first of it,
about her jealous boyfriend.
Marge is always in a turmoil,
hiding from this boy
to go out with that boy.
Not that Marge isn't cute,
but you'd think she was
the only girl in the world.
I don't get it. The
whole thing escapes me.
Boys chase me all the time.
That's because you're
so modest and shy.
Well, I'm not putting
myself in Marge's class,
but your father had
a little competition
when he was dating me.
Remember Roger Gilfoil?
He used to drive that
beautiful powder-blue roadster.
That was his mother's car.
Oh, and Herb Chase.
What a time I had,
keeping you and Herb apart.
My mother lived in mortal fear
that you two would
show up at the same time,
and there'd be a
battle in the front yard.
It was fun.
Mother.
We weren't married.
She was free to go out with
those other goofs if she wanted to.
It gave her a chance to see
how wonderful I
was by comparison.
Oh, get you.
In case you didn't know,
most girls have more
than one boyfriend.
If a girl's even
a little bit sharp,
she doesn't go out with
the same guy all the time,
unlike some people I know.
If you're referring
to Ralph and me...
Now, let's not get personal.
I go with a different
boy every day.
Sometimes two
different boys in one day.
I switch at lunchtime.
Well, all I know is that Ralph
doesn't have any competition.
When the doorbell
rings Saturday night,
it's always good old Ralph.
Doesn't he ever get suspicious?
- Bud.
- Now that's enough, Bud.
Well, it's a fact.
Got to face the facts.
A guy goes to a movie and
there's nobody else in the theater,
maybe it's a bum show.
Oh, you!
What was Bud talking about?
Somebody going to a movie?
Talk. Just talk.
I go out with Ralph
because I like him,
and I think he
likes me for myself,
not because he wants to be
first in the scramble for a girl.
Stupid idea there
has to be competition.
It's ridiculous.
Puts getting a date with a
girl on the same category
as winning a ham in a raffle.
I could have other
boyfriends if I wanted them.
Well, I could.
I didn't say anything.
Ralph is a nice,
sweet, considerate boy.
I couldn't ask for anyone nicer.
Oh, I like Ralph.
Oh, this family.
[doorbell rings]
It's awfully easy
to say the wrong
thing in this family,
even when you
don't say anything.
Hm, well, I'll see you, Ralph.
Yeah, see you later, Bud.
- Ready?
- Of course I'm ready.
Anything wrong?
Oh, Ralph, you make me so mad.
Me? What did I do?
[growls]
♪♪ [country]
[Caller] ♪ Grab your
partner and lean to his side ♪
♪ All join hands
in the circle wide ♪
♪ Keep on going
right around that ring ♪
♪ Face your little partner
with the old right hand ♪
♪ And here we go with
the right and left grand ♪
♪ With the right, to the
left, go round again ♪
♪ It's hand over hand
with a pretty little thing ♪
♪ Take your girl and
promenade, go two by two ♪
♪ And get them on home
like you ought to do ♪
♪ Now ladies to the center,
and back to the barn ♪
♪ And the gents to the
center with a right-hand star ♪
♪ Now back to the left,
and you don't be afraid ♪
♪ And pick up your
girl, start to promenade ♪
♪ Come on now, don't be afraid ♪
♪ Now the boys back
down with a turn and a hat ♪
♪ Put the ladies in the middle
and listen to them laugh ♪
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
♪ And the ladies back
out with the turn of a hat ♪
♪ Put the gents in the
middle like they were before ♪
♪ Walk right around
when the going's slow ♪
♪ Everybody swing and whirl ♪
♪ Around and around
with the pretty little girls ♪
♪ Now ladies in the center
and back to the barn ♪
♪ And the gents to the
center with a right-hand star ♪
♪ Back with a left, and
now don't be afraid ♪
♪ Go round in a ring,
it's a hand over hand ♪
♪ With a pretty little thing ♪
♪ Keep that girl and
promenade that pretty little girl ♪
♪ Take a little walk,
go round the room ♪
[no audible dialogue]
♪ ...with your right hand ♪
♪ Here we go with
a right step grand ♪
♪ With the right hand
out, go round in a ring ♪
♪ It's hand over hand
with a pretty little thing ♪
♪ Get your girl and
promenade, two by two ♪
♪ Get them on home
like you ought to do ♪
♪ Now ladies in the center
and back to the barn ♪
♪ And the gents to the
center with a right-hand star ♪
♪ Now back with a
left, and don't be afraid ♪
♪ And pick up your
girl, start to promenade ♪
♪ Come on now, don't be afraid ♪
♪ Now the boys back
down with a turn and a hat ♪
♪ Put the ladies in the middle
and listen to them laugh ♪
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
♪ And the ladies back
out with the turn of a hat ♪
♪ Put the gents in the
middle like they were before ♪
[no audible dialogue]
♪ Everybody swing and whirl ♪
♪ Around and around
with the pretty little girls ♪
[applause]
My feet are killing me.
I thought the car was
real cute, didn't you?
I'm about to die of starvation.
That's the only thing
wrong with square dancing.
Women get so darned hungry.
How'd we end up in this place?
I thought we were
going to Louie's.
This was her idea.
Oh, we couldn't go to Louie's.
Everybody in
school will be there.
Ralph, going out with Marge
is a real cloak and
dagger operation.
Full of intrigue.
We're like being spies.
We can't go here because
Eddie might see us.
We can't go there
because Frank might see us.
We scurry from shadow to shadow.
Oh, that's not true.
My life's in danger every
minute I'm out with her.
I never know when I'm
going to be leaped upon
by one of her insanely
jealous boyfriends.
You make it sound
as if there are dozens.
Well, aren't there?
Well, there's only one
we have to worry about,
and that's Frank.
Yeah, but he's 6'7".
You see how lucky you are
going with a girl like Betty?
You have no competition.
Nothing to worry about.
Thank you, John Davis.
I'll say something nice
about you sometime.
What'd I say?
I think we'd better
quit talking and order.
The food's supposed
to be real good.
My brother says all the
truck drivers eat here.
How about four hamburgers
with chocolate malts?
Four burgers, four malts.
Uh, Betty, when I said Ralph
didn't have any competition,
I didn't mean...
Look, let's not make
things any worse.
You opened your big fat mouth
and stuck your foot right in it.
Don't look now,
but that handsome half-man,
half-beast at the counter
has found someone at
this table very interesting.
He's looking at you, Betty.
Friend of yours?
I don't know who he is.
Not for certain.
You think maybe you know him?
He looks like a fellow I knew,
but he didn't have a beard.
What's his name? Think.
Why are you getting so fired up?
Oh, be quiet.
If it'll make everyone happier,
I'll go ask him for his card.
Won't be necessary.
I've been away from
Springfield two years,
and a lot of things
have changed,
and a lot of people
have changed.
Are you Betty Anderson?
I'm Doyle Hobbs.
You signed up for
summer vocational training
with the dizzy idea of
becoming a civil engineer,
and they assigned you to my
surveying crew. Remember that?
I remember very well.
It's good to see you again,
Betty. You cut your hair?
Mr. Hobbs, I don't mind
being in the middle
of old home week,
but would you please
move back a little?
You're standing on my foot.
Good morning, Father.
Good morning, princess.
How was the square
dance last night?
The dance was so-so,
but what happened
afterward... Oh!
Hi. Anything for breakfast?
The most of us
have already eaten,
but I can scrape up something.
What happened
afterward, after the dance?
We all went to the Highway
Cafe for hamburgers,
and you'll never
guess who I saw there.
You'll never guess
in a thousand years.
Doyle Hobbs.
Doyle Hobbs.
Remember a couple of years ago
I thought I wanted
to be an engineer?
I remember. He tried
to discourage you.
Said that woman's
place was in the home.
- That's Doyle.
- Outdoor type.
A rugged
individualist, as I recall.
Definitely. He's
been up in Canada
with some mining company.
You know, at first I
didn't even recognize him.
He had on these dirty old
khakis and he hadn't shaved.
And when Doyle came up
to the table and spoke to me,
you should have seen the
expression on Ralph's face.
He turned six shades of purple.
Hold it, Bud. Red light.
Why do you have to go through the
house with that gasoline equipment?
To get from the
front to the back.
You could use the
driveway, you know.
That goes from the front
to the back, and vice versa.
Yeah, I could, I guess.
[phone rings]
That's probably good
old steady Ralph.
Hello. Betty? Right here.
Doyle Hobbs.
How do you know?
He told me.
Hello?
Betty, this is Doyle.
Well, hello.
I don't like people who
wait till the last minute
to make engagements, but
this is an exceptional situation.
I read in the paper here that tonight
is the annual Concert Under the Stars.
- Would you like to go?
- Uh, Concert Under the Stars?
Well, I, uh,
sort of have a halfway
date for it, Doyle.
What do you mean sort of? Either
you have a date for it, or you haven't.
- If you haven't,
I'd like to take you.
- Well, it's just that...
Marge Corbett just
drove up in front.
All right. It's a date.
I'll be over to pick
you up at exactly 7:30.
All right. I'll be ready. Bye.
I thought you were going
to the concert with Ralph.
Oh, well, he mentioned
something about it months ago,
but he's said nothing since.
- [doorbell rings]
- That's Marge
at the front door.
I know.
Oh, you see...
Well, she can't just sit at home
and wait for Ralph to
decide what he's going to do.
She's not his personal property.
Well, don't jump on
me. I just said I thought
you were going with
Ralph, and if he did ask you,
and you accepted, then I
certainly think you ought to...
Excuse me, Father.
I'll bet you a $1,000
against a plugged nickel,
she made a date
with Ralph for tonight.
Then why hasn't he
said something about it?
What is he supposed to say?
- [doorbell rings]
- Oh.
- Hi.
- Hi. Come on in.
I was afraid you weren't home.
I had to talk to you
about last night.
I would've called, but my sneaky
father beat me to the phone.
Come on upstairs.
- Doyle just phoned just now.
- Oh!
A little competition
will be good for Ralph.
I remember it worked
wonders on you.
Oh, Margaret.
Last night, right
in this very spot,
Betty said competition
was ridiculous...
That it put getting
a date with a girl
in the same category as
winning a ham at a raffle.
[phone rings]
Hello.
Hello, Mr. Anderson?
This is Ralph.
[horn honking]
Oh, hello, Ralph.
- Is Betty...
- [honking continues]
Look, Mr. Anderson. I've
got a nervous customer here.
Would you tell Betty I'll pick
her up for the concert about 7:30?
[phone clicks]
Ralph...
Ralph?
Well, this is going to be
an interesting raffle tonight
for our popular little ham.
There'll be two winning numbers.
There's no excuse for it.
Betty's practically
a grown woman.
Oh, having two dates for
one night isn't exactly a crime.
- Oh.
- I remember the time
when you and Doug
Hodges both thought
you were taking me to a dance.
Oh, that was different.
You were just confused.
The thing that gets my goat
about this Ralph and Doyle business
is I think Betty's
pulling it off on purpose.
And somebody's gonna
get a raw deal out of it.
Oh, men of Springfield, arise.
Fight against the raw deal.
Why are you so worried
about Ralph and Doyle?
Big lugs can look
after themselves.
Margaret, what kind
of an attitude is this?
This isn't like you.
And it's not like you
to get so steamed up
over a little confusion
in Betty's dates.
Little confusion? Ha!
I'm gonna have a
talk with that girl.
I couldn't tell too much what Doyle
looked like with that beard last night.
Oh, he's a real dreamy
thing. He's very masculine.
Betty! Oh.
How are you, Mr. Anderson?
Uh, hello, Marge.
- You want me, Father?
- Well...
Oh, say, who was that
that phoned a little bit ago?
It was Ralph.
Ralph? What did he say?
He said he'd be by tonight at
7:30 to take you to the concert.
Oh, no! Doyle will
be here at 7:30.
What am I gonna do? I'll die.
Oh, Ralph will be hysterical,
and Doyle will
go out of his mind.
Lucky.
I'll see you tonight.
Maybe. Good luck.
What goes on?
Deceiving two innocent boys.
Is this an accomplishment?
Why are you getting
so worked up, Father?
I'm getting worked up
because I don't like
what you're doing.
What's gotten into you and your
mother? That's what I want to know.
Have you lost all
sense of fair play?
Father, you just
don't understand.
I understand when you're being
reasonable, when you're being yourself.
But this business of... Two
dates on the same night.
And is she worried? Is
she sorry? She's delighted.
And because I don't congratulate
her on this deliberate fraud,
I'm accused of
not understanding.
Dear, she did not
deliberately make two dates.
Not really. It was just, uh,
fortunate that it
worked out that way.
Fortunate?
Well, uh, isn't there an
old saying to the effect
that every dog is
entitled to one bite?
Well, I think that every
girl, at some time in her life,
is entitled to have
two dates for one night.
I consider that a highly
questionable philosophy.
What about Ralph and
Doyle? Has anyone considered
how they're gonna
feel about all this?
Only one of them will
be disappointed, Father,
and he'll get over it.
Mighty charitable of
you. Oh, come back here.
- What do you want?
- Call Ralph or Doyle...
I don't care which...
And cancel out for tonight.
There's no hurry.
I have all day.
All day?
Yes, sir.
- Fill it up.
- Right.
- Nice fly rod you got there.
- Thanks.
- Been out?
- Not yet.
Thought I'd go up and try
Willow Creek this afternoon.
It's a nice stream if
you know the right spots.
You a fisherman?
Oh, I hook a trout now and then.
Say, didn't I meet you last
night at the Highway Cafe?
I thought I'd seen
you someplace before.
- You're Doyle Hobbs.
- Yeah. You're, uh, Ralph.
Right. Well, if you're
going up to Willow Creek,
leave your car at the bridge and
walk downstream about a mile.
I won't have time. I gotta be
back in town early. I got a date.
How do you get out to this place where
they're having the Concert Under the Stars?
Oh, just go out Highway
12 to Cedar Grove Park.
Follow the signs.
You can't miss it.
Maybe I'll see you out there
tonight. Betty and I are going.
- Betty Anderson?
- Yeah.
Are you sure she's
going with you?
Sure I'm sure.
One of us better reel in, boy.
We've got our lines crossed.
Betty has a date
with me for tonight.
This new line
feels different, Dad.
It was made to float.
You don't have to dress it
to keep it on the
surface with a dry fly.
Did you call Ralph or Doyle and
straighten things out about tonight?
- Not yet, but I will.
- [scoffs]
Haven't decided which
one I want to go with.
[high-pitched voice] I haven't
decided with one I want to go with.
Well, we'll settle this
little matter right now.
That's the stuff, Dad.
Pin her ears back.
Mother, where's
the ironing board?
I want to press this
dress for tonight.
In the broom closet
where it always is.
- Betty?
- Hmm?
All right. You've had your fun.
I want you to get on that
phone, call Ralph or Doyle,
apologize and cancel
out for this evening.
All right. Which
one will I call?
Well, that's up to you. You
know the right thing to do.
I suppose I'll
have to call Doyle.
All right, then. Call him.
You should've
done it this morning.
- [doorbell rings]
- Bud'll see who's at the door.
You make your call.
You two.
[dialing phone]
Hello, Bud. Remember
me? I'm Doyle Hobbs.
- Oh, yeah. Hi. Come on in.
- Is Betty in?
Yeah. I think she's in
the kitchen. I'll get her.
Hey, irresistible,
Doyle's out there.
Doyle!
Women!
Well, this saves
you a phone call.
You can go right in
there and tell Doyle
that you had a mix-up
with your dates tonight.
I can't let him see me
like this. My hair's a mess.
What's the difference? You're
not going out with him anyway.
[Bud whistles]
Now hear this. Guess
who just drove up in front.
None other than good old Ralph.
Oh, no!
Well, we've reached
an interesting point
in your little game.
Doyle's in the living
room, and Ralph out front.
What happens now?
Ralph's not out in front.
You're just saying that.
- [horn honking]
- I am?
- What am I gonna do?
- Let him in.
With Doyle in there?
They'll kill each other.
[Jim] It's a chance
you'll have to take.
Naturally, you don't care.
You're not the one
they're fighting over.
What a phony.
[high-pitched voice]
Naturally, you don't care.
You're not the one
they're fighting over.
It's beautiful, wonderful me.
[normal voice]
She's having a ball.
Doyle, wait! Don't
open the door, please.
- Why not?
- You don't know
who's out there.
Yeah, I saw him through
the window. It's Ralph.
- Hi. Come on in.
- Hello.
Well, now... now, Ralph, Doyle,
please try to act like
grown-up, civilized men.
Just come on in the
living room and sit down.
I'll explain everything.
- Don't make a scene, please.
- Who's making a scene?
[Doyle] I just want to find out
who you're going out with tonight.
I guess Ralph wants
to know the same thing.
Well, I didn't mean to
cause all this trouble, really.
- What trouble?
- Between you and Ralph.
Hey, that's nice
action. Try that.
I didn't realize, when I
made the date with you
for tonight, Doyle, I'd
already told Ralph...
- Nice.
- Are you listening?
Sure.
How's the cat-and-mouse game?
The cat's in trouble.
It belongs to Betty's dad.
He knows how to use it,
too. A good man on a stream.
Well, about tonight...
- I have an idea.
- Yes?
- Let's go fishing.
- What?
You can get off work, can't you?
Sure. Hey, another idea.
Let's ask Mr. Anderson
to go along.
He knows Willow Creek
like the back of his hand.
Right. We'll all get back
in time to go to the concert.
- Okay. Is that a deal?
- Great.
What about me?
- Oh, you can go along.
- Sure.
[laughing]
Imagine, my daughter
playing second fiddle to a fish.
You should complain
about second fiddle.
After the way
she's been playing,
she's lucky to even
be in the orchestra.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA