Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 4, Episode 15 - Calypso Bud - full transcript

[Announcer] Here are...

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,

and Lauren Chapin in...

Hey, Mom. Hey,
Mom. Guess what...

Oh, hi, Dad.

Wait till you see what I got.

What is it? Uranium?

Bongo drums.

Oh, no. Not that.

Yeah, I traded old
Claude for them.

Boy, did you get taken.



No, I didn't. All
I traded him was

my old skin-diving
helmet that leaks.

Look, no matter
what you gave him,

you got the worst
end of that deal.

You better trade him
back before it's too late.

Trade back? Are you with it?

The only reason I
got such a good deal

is 'cause Claude's dad

couldn't stand to hear
Claude play them anymore.

If Claude's dad
couldn't stand it,

how do you expect me to?

Well, Claude's dad
doesn't understand music.

That's music?

Am I missing anything?



- Look.
- What's that?

It's bongos. I'm going to
learn how to play them.

This record tells you
how. It's very simple.

Don't look at me. I
didn't agree to this.

In fact, I'm ag'in' it, son.

Dad, what kind
of father are you?

Don't you want your
son to be a musician?

A musician with that?

Bud, we gave you plenty of
opportunity to be a musician.

And what did you do with it?

Well, that was different.

First came the piano.

Yes, with big
payments on the piano.

And payments on the lessons.

I remember the day
the piano arrived.

Well, we couldn't
drag you away from it.

Two weeks later, we
couldn't drag you over to it.

Then came the accordion.

Yes, he claimed the
piano was unhealthy

because it kept him
cooped up indoors.

The accordion you
can practice outdoors

and get plenty of fresh air.

So back went the piano,
out came the accordion.

Oh, you were so
enthusiastic about it.

Slept with it the
first few nights.

Two weeks later, nothing.

You claimed it was
corrugating your stomach

and making you stoop-shouldered.

Okay, okay,

but I just hadn't found
the right instrument for me.

But now I have.

I'm older now, and
I know what I want.

It seems as though
I've heard that before.

Bud, let's face it.

Any musical instrument,
even that thing,

has to be practiced.

And you know how
you hate to practice.

Oh, but not on the
bongos. I'll love it.

I've got all the instructions.
I'll practice day and night.

Wouldn't that be awful?

So can I keep it, Dad?

We couldn't stand that
thumping all day long.

It isn't thumping.

And furthermore, as long
as you won't practice...

Oh, but I will.

Bud, have you forgotten all
the misery you went through?

Wait a minute. Margaret, we
better refresh this boy's memory.

Give him a demonstration
of all the tortures and...

Where's a chair?

The tortures and
torments you used to suffer

when your mother tried
to get you to practice.

Now here's the piano bench,
and here's the piano keyboard.

Come on, honey,
let's give him a sample.

- Jog his memory.
- Dad, what in the...

Now, we don't have
to rehearse this scene

because we know it by heart.

Now, here you are at the piano

with that tragic, martyred
look on your face.

Oh, no, I never
looked like that.

Then your mother...
frustrated, nerves worn thin...

Stands over you and says...

Go ahead, honey.
What would you say?

Well, now, Bud, don't
just sit there. Practice.

I'm thirsty.

Thirsty?

Well, you drank so much,
now you're waterlogged.

Now, come on. Practice.

I got to go get
something to eat.

No, you don't. Now, play.

But, Mom, I got to put
something in my stomach

to absorb all
that water I drank.

It keeps sloshing around,

and I can't hear
what I'm playing.

Why, that's the worst
excuse you ever thought up.

Now, come on.

Time's up.

It is not. It hasn't
even started.

Now, if you don't
begin, I'll call your father.

Sure got a mean mother.

Ow, my hand. I got a
cramp. I got a cramp in it.

Oh, don't do that.

Oh, I got to lie down.

[Kathy laughs]

Oh, do that again,
Daddy. That's funny.

Oh, no, no. I never
acted like that.

Oh, yes, you did. Only worse.

Oh, you guys exaggerate so much.

But really, this
is much different.

I really feel this
burning inside me.

I feel just like...

Well, like Fritz
Kreisler must have felt

when he got his first violin.

Or like Liberace when
he got his first piano.

Really, if I don't grab this,

the rest of my life will be a
hollow, empty goose egg.

Okay, go ahead.

If I throw away
this opportunity...

Did you say go ahead?

Well, sure.

We don't want any empty
goose eggs around here.

They're the worst kind.

But you got to promise to
practice in your own room

with the doors closed.

Oh, I will.

Two hours every day.

Every day.

Two hours?

Gosh, Dad, I don't know if
I can hold it down with that,

but I'll try. Gee, thanks.

Boy.

Well, I suddenly realized
that was the easiest way out.

How long do you give
his bongo career? A week?

Four days.

Those will be four
miserable days.

But that'll end it.

- Daddy?
- Yes, kitten?

I think I'd like to
learn to play the piano.

Oh, no, you don't.

Just wait four days

and you'll be able to pick up

a set of second-hand
bongos mighty cheap.

Oh, boy. Hey, Bud,

I get your bongos when
you're through with them.

Boy!

Oh, hi, Bud. Did you get your
message from Jeannie McKay?

From Jeannie?

Yeah, she's invited you
to a party at her house

a week from this
coming Saturday.

Yeah, I know about it.

You're pretty crazy
about Jeannie, aren't you?

Hey, where did these
things come from?

I got them from Claude.

I'm going to learn
how to play them.

Like you did the accordion?

No, not like the accordion.
Now, if you don't mind...

Does Jeannie like bongo
players? Is that why...

She doesn't know
a thing about this.

And you're not going
to tell her, either.

In fact, don't tell
anyone. It's a secret, see?

Now, if you don't mind
hitting the road, please,

I have to practice.

Just don't shake
down all the plaster.

♪♪ [bongo]

[Man] Ah, so you
want to play the bongo.

I thought that as you playing.

Bravo. The bongo is a very...

♪♪ [bongo]

[laughs]

Ah, so you want
to play the bongos.

[laughs]

Bravo.

The bongo is a very fascinating
and a much popularity.

So now we begin with lesson 1.

It is very, very easy.

All you have to do
is work very hard.

First, sit down and
get comfortable.

That's it.

Now cross the ankles, placing
the drums between the legs.

It is important you sit on
a high stool or high chair.

This is so the legs
will be at the right slant.

If you have no
high stool or chair,

the edge of a
bed will do nicely.

Now put the drums
between the legs,

the small drum to the left side

3 inches below the kneecap.

Yes, that is it.

Oh, you will find
this fun and relaxing.

So now we take off the Martillo,

the fundamental beat.

Now, using the fingertips,

strike the small drum
with the index finger

of the right hand
on the count of 1,

the middle finger
on the count of 2,

back to the index finger on 3,

and over on the larger drum
with the middle finger on 4.

- And for the
after-beat, - Wait.

Alternate the thumb and the last
three fingers of left hand like so.

♪♪ [bongo]

Now you try it.

No, that's wrong.

Try it again.

Ah, yes, that's much better.

See, how easy? Now do
it again exactly the same.

Bud, this is too
loud, too noisy.

You'll have to practice
somewhere else.

Well, you told me to
practice in my own room.

Okay, but I was wrong.

A man should be willing
to admit when he's wrong.

And, brother, I was wrong.

So find someplace else. Okay?

Alternate the thumb and the last
three fingers of left hand like so.

♪♪ [bongo]

Now you try it.

No, that's wrong.

Try it again.

[Jim] Bud!

It's too loud. We
can still hear it.

Practice someplace else.

See how easy?

Now do it again
exactly the same.

And for after-beats,
alternate the thumb.

The thumb,

the thumb, the thumb.

The thumb, the thumb, the thumb,

the thumb, the...

I wonder if the trumpet
would be easier.

♪♪ [bongo]

[Jim] Margaret?

Out here, dear.

- Oh, hi, dear.
- Hello.

Well, how did things go...

Say, that kid's getting fairly
good on those tom-toms.

Well, he should. He
practices hours and hours.

I can't drag him away from it.

Do you realize he's kept it
up now for almost two weeks?

Now, how do you figure that?

We get him all those
fine instruments, nothing.

Now with these crazy things.

[sighs]

He picked a fine
place to practice.

Out by the incinerator.

Well, you know there's
something driving him on,

and whatever it is,
he's keeping it a secret.

When I ask him about it,

he gets a faraway
look in his eye,

a sort of "Wouldn't
you like to know?" look.

It's a little weird.

Well, I suspect
that's just something

that happens to
all bongo players.

No, it's more than that.

And the amazing thing is
he's getting quite good on them.

Well, naturally.

After all, he has
quite a musical father.

An old banjo player, you know.

That's still a debatable point.

Oh, I don't know.

What do you suppose it
is that's driving him on?

I'd sure love to know.

Oh, boy. Won't be long now.

Just let old wise guy Kippy
start showing off at that party.

Just let him go right ahead.

Now, ladies, if you
will look closely,

you will notice this box
is but completely empty.

Now, watch closely. You'll
notice there are no tricks.

Now, right now I'll
say the magic words.

Abracadabra.

[laughs]

Here I go!

Oh, will you hold this, please?

Now, wait a minute.
What's this doing here?

[laughs]

Oh, I'm full of
them, I tell you.

Now, I got something right here.

Jeannie, look. It's Bud.

Why, Bud, I didn't
know you could play.

Oh, that's cool.

Man, that's great.

[chatter]

Oh, Bud, you're marvelous.

You're wonderful.

Oh, I love you.

Yeah, that'll show him.

Now you'll see who's
the life of the party.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

Hi, Kippy. What are you
doing? Buying out the joke shop?

Oh, no, no, just some stuff,
uh, for a nephew of mine.

Hey, Betty, wait a minute.

Is it true that Bud got
Claude's old bongos?

He's been knocking himself out

on those things day and night.

Is he planning to take them

to Jeannie's party
tomorrow night?

I doubt that. He's pretty
self-conscious about them.

He doesn't want anybody to know

he's trying to
learn to play them.

You'd better ask him
about that yourself.

A calypso shirt?

Yeah, and some black trousers.

Well, what do you need
with an outfit like that?

I need them for Jeannie's
party tomorrow night.

What is it? A costume party?

No, just a party.

Well, look just because you
made good with the bongos

doesn't mean you have to go
around looking like an island native.

I'm not. It's just
a regular shirt

except the collar's sort of...

Bud, you have plenty of
good shirts in your drawer,

and you'll look much,
much better in them.

Oh, Mom, you don't understand.

I don't want you
going to that party

in some wild-looking shirt.

Like you just got
off the banana boat.

It's not wild.

It's just a plain shirt
in very peccable taste.

Bud, you should've seen your
friend Kippy buying out the joke shop.

Yeah? Well, I don't doubt it.

He's probably loading
up for the party.

You know, he's not happy unless
he's got a whole crowd around him,

making a fool of himself.

What all was he buying?

Oh, I couldn't see.
He had it in a sack.

Do you have anything good
to eat, Mother? I'm starved.

About the shirt
and trousers, Dad.

If you could advance me my
allowance, I could go quick down

to the store in the
morning and I'd be all set.

Who said you could
fool with those?

I'm not hurting them.

And from now on, never lay
another grimy finger on them.

Aw, turn blue.

[doorbell rings]

So anyway, Dad,

I could have enough money
for the shirt and pants by tom...

Kippy. Uh-oh.

Hi, Kip, old buddy.

Hi, Bud. I was just walking by.

Thought I'd stop and say hello.

Oh, good. What
you got in the sack?

Oh, well, nothing.

Just junk. You
know, socks and stuff.

Pretty big socks.

Yeah. Well, my feet are growing.

Say, I thought I heard you
got Claude's old bongos.

- Bongos?
- Yeah.

Yeah, come to think
of it, I guess I did.

What could I have
done with them?

Well, aren't you
learning to play them?

Oh, I believe I did plunk
around on them a little.

A little?

Are you going to take
them to Jeannie's party?

Are you kidding?

Well, you are going
to the party, aren't you?

Well, I might drop in later
on if there's nothing else to do.

You going?

Oh, I don't know.
I might pop in.

I don't know. I'm not
much for parties myself.

Oh.

Well, I'll see you, kid.

Yeah, I'll see you, Kip.

[both chuckle]

What a phony.

Not much for parties? Ha.

He can hardly wait to get
over there tomorrow night

with his little sack of tricks.

And boy, have I got him worried.

Worried about what?

Why, worried that
I'm going to knock him

off his little pedestal,

steal a little of that limelight

that he's always...

Nothing.

Just worried, that's all.

So that's it.

So that's the frantic drive
behind his musical career.

The age-old desire to
be the life of the party.

Do you think he'll
really have the nerve

to take the bongos to the
party and to play them?

I hope so.

I remember once when I was a kid

I finally worked up enough
courage to take my banjo to a party.

And then, at the last minute,

I got cold feet and
hid it in the bushes.

I had a miserable evening.

And then to make matters worse,

on the way out,
someone found the banjo.

Oh, was I embarrassed.

Oh, but think how much
worse it would've been

if you'd taken it in and
they'd asked you to play.

Is that silly brother of mine

back from buying that silly
calypso shirt and pants?

No, not yet.

And he's only buying the shirt.

I convinced him these trousers
were plenty good enough.

Well, when he gets back,

will you ask him what my
cologne was doing in his room?

Oh, I suppose he's
planned to use some tonight

when he gets
ready for the party.

Oh, fine.

Why is he knocking
himself out so much

for this particular party?

Well, we're not
supposed to know,

but this is going to
be his bongo debut.

Oh, really? I didn't think
he'd have enough nerve.

Well, evidently he got tired
of sitting in the background

while Kippy's the
center of attention.

Oh, I'd love to be
there to see that.

- I can just see him now.
- Shh.

Oh, your slacks are ready.

Where's the shirt?
Didn't you get it?

No.

- Well, what...
- Hey, calypso.

Well, how rude can you be?

Hi. Getting all set
for the big party?

I'm not going.

- What's with the calypso kid?
- I don't know.

When he left to
go get the shirt,

he was on top of
the heat, but now...

He can't be serious about
not going to the party.

Not after all the
plans he's made.

Well, I'm going to get
to the bottom of this.

Oh, no, Betty, please don't.
You'll just make things worse.

No, I won't.

I'll be very careful with
the little bongo brain.

- Betty?
- What do you suppose
went wrong?

Has the bongo suddenly
been replaced with a zither?

Whatever it is, it's
definitely hit him pretty hard.

Just go away and
leave me alone, will you?

Okay, but just tell
me what happened?

What did Jeannie do to you?

I didn't say anything
about Jeannie.

All right, then, who was it?

It was Jeannie.

You know what she said to me?

I was standing there in
front of the clothing store

looking at the
shirts in the window.

I was trying to decide
what color I wanted.

Oh, hello, Bud.

Oh, hi, Jeannie.

Decorations for the party?

Mm-hmm. I've been
shopping like mad.

I'll be an absolute wreck
by the time the party starts.

Oh, say. Would you do
me a very, very big favor?

Oh, sure, you bet. Anything.

Well, I wonder if you
could call Claude Mesner

and tell him in some nice way

not to bring those
miserable bongos of his.

Not to bring them?

Well, you know Claude.

He'd want to try to
play them all night

and bore everyone to death.

Oh, but remember,
don't hurt his feelings.

Be diplomatic.

Thanks so much, Bud.

I'll see you tonight.

Bye, Jeannie.

Boy, that did it.

Why didn't you tell her that
Claude doesn't own the bongos?

Look, it doesn't
matter who owns them.

The point is she doesn't
want them at her party.

Well, she only said she didn't
want Claude to play the bongos.

Look, she doesn't like
bongos, and I don't like her!

Now, will you please
leave me alone?

I'm not going to her party.

Or any other party
as long as I live.

Oh, I feel awful.

That boy's sitting
up in his room

when he should be at the party.

Well, I used all my powers of
persuasion on him to no avail.

The only person now who could
persuade him to go is Jeannie herself.

Jeannie? She's the one
who put him in this state.

I know.

But she didn't know that
Bud has the bongos now.

She doesn't know
how well he can play.

Now, if we were to call her...

Call her?

Are you out of your mind?

That would embarrass
Bud so much,

he'd hide down in the
cellar and never come up.

Well, it was just a thought.

And a mighty poor one.

Boy, that's sure a dull party
over at Jeannie's house.

What?

Everybody's just sitting around.

Kippy's trying to do
some magic tricks,

but hardly anybody's
watching him.

Kathy, were you peeking in
the windows at Jeannie's house?

Oh, no, I was over at
Laura's house next door,

and you can see into
Jeannie's living room

from their dinning
room windows...

That is, if you
stand on a chair,

which we just
happened to be doing...

accidentally.

Kathy, I'm ashamed of you.

Well, actually...

He said he still isn't hungry.

Oh, dear.

He should eat a
little something.

On top of everything
else, he's starving to death.

The big oaf has certainly
taken this hard. I'll say that.

The boy has to
eat no matter what.

Look, Betty, there must be some
way to get Bud over to that party.

Well, the only way I can think

is to stuff him in a can
and shoot him over there.

Well, I have sort
of a half-baked idea.

See if you can round
up those bongos for me.

Mom, will you please
leave me alone?

I'm not hungry.

But if you don't
eat, you'll get sick.

Now, this is some
very good lamb stew.

I don't want any lamb stew.

Say, Dad, that's not
the way you play those.

No? I thought I was catching on.

Well, no.

Now, in the first place,
you don't use your fists.

Don't bother me. I'm getting it.

Ha ha.

Only use your fingertips
instead of your fists.

Oh.

No, no. Like this.

Hey, how do you do that?
Sit down here and show me.

I don't even know how
to hold these drums.

Well, you put them 3
inches below your knees,

and you play mostly on
the small drum like this.

Gee, that's a good beat.

Maybe you could help me.

I'm trying to work up
sort of a calypso dance

for a thing out at the
college. Keep going.

Here, let me take that.

You better find yourself a
seat and watch the dance.

[whispering] Hello, Mrs. McKay?

This is Mr. Anderson.

Oh, I wonder if I might talk
to Jeannie for just a moment.

Thank you.

Jeannie, I have a
message for you from Bud.

He's very sorry he
can't come to the party,

but he has to practice
his music now for a...

Excuse me, Mr. Anderson,
but I can't hear you very well.

Your radio must be playing.

That's Bud?

Really?

I didn't know he
could play like that.

In fact, I didn't know
he could play at all.

A rabbit.

Boy, we sure could
use him over here.

Uh, why did you say
he couldn't come?

Well, couldn't he
practice tomorrow?

We need him.

Honestly.

Frankly, Mr. Anderson,
this is a pretty dull party.

Well, I hate to
interrupt him right now.

Why don't you call him
back in a few minutes?

Maybe you can talk him into it.

Fine.

Goodbye.

Bravo.

Pretty good, huh, kitten?

Okay, now let me dance one.

[phone rings]

Start the music.

Hello?

Oh, yes, just a minute.

Uh, it's for you, Bud.

Oh, for me?

Hello?

Oh, hi, Jeannie.

You want me to what?

Well, do you mean that?

Postpone what practice?
Who said I was...

Don't hang on the
phone, Bud. Cut it short.

Come on.

Well, yeah. Sure. Gee.
Yeah, I'll be right over.

Thanks. Bye.

Well, how do you like that?

This afternoon she hates bongos.

Now she can hardly wait to get
me over there to liven up her party.

Boy, dames.

So, Mom, did you ever
press those trousers?

They're in your closet.

Oh, thanks.

Say, where do you suppose

she ever got the idea
that I was practicing?

And how did she find
out I played the bongos?

Uh, chances are she
heard it on the phone.

You know how those
things get around.

Yeah.

Not a word from you, madam.

I was only following
the old adage

never hide your
banjo under a bush.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA