Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 4, Episode 10 - Way of a Dictator - full transcript

[Announcer] Here are...

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,

and Lauren Chapin in...

♪ Mother, Mother, I am ill ♪

♪ Call the doctor to... ♪

So what we're supposed
to do is take some dictator,

like Hitler or Stalin
or somebody...

Hey, Kathy!

And show how he got that way.

Kathy, cut it out.

And then show what
tripped him up finally.



Well, fine. That's
a good project.

You better get to work on it.

Oh, what I was thinking was

that you could sort of
write me out a rough draft,

and I could...

Kathy, you're going to
have to call an ambulance

if you don't pipe down.

How about you writing
out the rough draft?

After all, you're the one
who's going to school, not me.

Daddy, watch how far I
can go without missing.

♪ Mother, Mother... ♪

Kathy, don't you
know it's impolite

to interrupt people
when they're discussing?

Kathy, I thought I told you
not to jump rope in the house.



Yes. ♪ Then comes the doctor ♪

- Kathy, didn't you hear me?
- Yes.

- ♪ Then comes the lady... ♪
- Kathy?

Kathy. Kathy.

Your mother was talking to you.

Now take your rope outside.

Okay, but I wasn't
hurting the house any.

A fellow might
as well be in jail.

What's come over
that child lately?

She doesn't seem to hear
anything we say to her.

No, and I can tell you why.

I've been meaning to
discuss this with you.

You're not raising
that kid right.

Oh?

Why, you've let her
get away with murder.

Now you've just
lost your grip on her.

I see.

You have to be firm
with kids like her.

Of course, I don't mean you
have to beat her with a club...

constantly.

You have to do it
intelligently, of course.

Oh, of course.

Intelligent, but firm.

Well, now, tell me,

do you think you could

do a better job with
Kathy than we're doing?

Who couldn't?

Well, I wish you'd
take over then.

I would, but I'm too busy.

Besides, it's the basic job

of the maternal
head of the tribe to...

Look, if you're just going
to weasel out of this job,

you might as well
leave it up to us.

Worry about your own problems.

That paper on
dictators, for example,

which I'll be happy to look
over after you've written it.

Well, okay.

But according to
abnormal psychology,

a father should
help train his son

by showing him how to do things.

But...

Wow, what are we raising?

A one-man parents clinic?

[chuckles]

You know, it's sort of a shame.

We have to spend
our whole adult lives

desperately trying
to learn half as much

as we knew when we were 16.

[imitating machine gun]

Okay, Sergeant York.
Knock it off. Disarm.

Huh?

Proper young ladies
do not enter homes

behind a barrage of
machine gun bullets.

You're not my boss.

Well, it may
interest you to know

I've been offered the job.

Ha, that'll be the day.

[imitates machine gun]

Say, Dad, I just might
take that job after all.

Somebody has to.

Well, great. When do you start?

I'm serious.

Good. Hop to it.
The job's all yours.

Well, now wait. I'm not
so sure this is a good idea.

I have enough trouble

with those two battling
each other as it is,

and I'm the one who'll
have to put up with it.

You're at the office all day.

How long do you
think he'll keep this up?

If it lasts a whole half
a day, I'll be surprised.

Well, you'd be amazed
how much trouble

they can stir up in
a whole half a day.

So last night I looked up

Hitler, Mussolini,
Stalin, and Napoleon,

but I didn't find out what
made them become dictators.

Were they just born mean?

[chuckles]

Could be.

In fact, that was
their first big mistake,

being born.

Oh, I think you'll find it has
something to do with power.

You give certain types
dominion over other people,

and they lose their balance.
They get power happy.

Hey, wait a minute there, Kathy.

You didn't take your
dishes to the sink.

I'll get them later.

Oh, that child.

You don't seem to be having
much effect on your new charge.

How come?

I haven't had time
to work on her yet.

I was busy all last
night with school work.

Just give me time.

Well, now, I'd rather
you leave her alone.

You'll just stir up trouble.

"Leave her alone," you say.

You see, Mom? That's
your whole trouble.

You're too easy on her,

but I'm going to
change all that.

Get me back to Mussolini, Dad.

Betty, can I wear your
green bracelet to school?

No, little girls shouldn't
wear jewelry to school.

I'm not a little girl.

Yes, you are. And besides,
every time you borrow

something of mine, you break it.

If you break one
more thing of mine,

just one more thing,
you're in trouble.

[in deep voice] Miss
Jenson, take a letter.

[in high voice] Oh,
yes, sir, Mr. Sprocket.

To the Amaligator
Lumber Company.

Dear lumber company,

Please send me 5
pounds of board...

[crack]

Uh-oh, she'll
pulverize me for this.

Kathy, Mother wants you to
come down here right now,

or you'll be late for school.

Well, anyway, if you get
any thoughts at the office

about Hitler or
Stalin, jot them down.

Oh, sure. I don't have
anything else to do at the office.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

What's Kathy doing out there
running around with a shovel?

Bud, go tell her to
come in right this minute.

You bet I'll tell her.

Might as well get the
new plan started right now.

Oh, no, wait. I'd better do it.

No, I can handle it.

Just tell her to come in.

Don't try any of your...
Your child psychology.

Kathy, Mom wants
you in the house,

and I want to
have a little talk...

What are you burying?

Nothing. Nothing. Just a bird.

Strange-looking bird.

Well, this is Betty's
good pen, or it was.

Man, are you in trouble.

This was her prized possession.

Shh! Not so loud.

What did you use on
it? A sledge hammer?

Man, she'll wring
your little neck.

Shh. I didn't mean to do it.

And now you're burying
the evidence, huh?

Oh, please don't tell anyone.

I have to.

Please. I'll buy her a new one.

With what?

I'll save up for it.

I'll work real hard
scrubbing floors, anything.

Just give me a chance
and don't tell on me.

Now look, Kathy.

If you give me a chance, I'll
do anything you want me to.

- Just name it.
- No, Kathy.

When you do something wrong,

you got to face
the consequences.

I'll do anything.

The way you've
been acting lately,

you're skating on real thin ice.

Now that I've been given
the job of disciplining you...

Wait, do you mean that
about doing anything I say?

Oh, yes, yes, if you
just give me a chance

to get her a new pen
and don't tell on me.

Okay, that's a deal.

Now, from now on, I'm your boss,

and you're going to be a
real good kid. Understand?

Oh, yes, yes.

And you'll do all
your own chores

and you'll help Mother
whenever you can.

Oh, I will. I will. I will.

Oh, you're the most
wonderful and nice...

Okay. Okay, don't
get sloppy about it.

Go on inside and
get ready for school.

Yes, sir.

Oh, hello, Mother, dear.

I'll clear off the
table for you.

Oh, you've already done it.

Well, then I'll wash the dishes.

And if there's anything
else I can do, just name it.

Well, right now, all
I want you to do is,

well, just finish getting
ready for school.

Oh, yes, I will, Mother.

Oh, and, Daddy,

if there's anything you
want me to do after school,

like mowing the
lawn, washing the car,

I'd be glad to do it.

And very cheap, too.

What did Bud do to her?

What kind of a
system is he using?

See you tonight.

Uh, just a minute, Bud.

Tell me, uh,

what... what kind of a...

Yes, Dad? What kind of what?

Nothing, I'll see you tonight.

Okay. So long, Mom.

So long.

I'm dying to know
what his secret is.

When he gave me
that superior air.

[chuckles]

You and I might as
well start packing.

We've just been replaced.

Oh, Mother, have you
seen my fountain pen?

You know, that real nice
one that Ralph gave me.

I'd just die if anything
happened to that.

No, I haven't. When
did you have it last?

Well, about three days ago.

I remember I set it down here
with some things one morning.

And then I went out,
got a drink of water,

I came back,
picked the things up,

and I never saw
it again after that.

Oh, I hope I didn't lose
it on the way to school.

Oh, it'll turn up somewhere.

Oh, did you take
my fountain pen?

Pen? What pen?

You know what pen.
My very, very best one.

Blue and gold.

Oh, did you have a
blue and gold pen?

Of course I did.

If I find out that you
did anything with it,

you know what's going to happen.

I don't see why you always
blame me for everything.

- Because you're always doing...
- Oh, here's your slip.

I hope I ironed it all right.

And if there's anything
else you want me to do,

just let me know.

What's with her anyway?

How long is she going to keep
up with this good Samaritan bit?

I guess you better ask
Bud. I'm sure I don't know.

How's he doing this anyway?

I mean, how does he control her?

It can't be his compelling,
magnetic personality,

as he claimed, because
he doesn't have one.

Well, whatever it is,

I must say the results
are quite amazing.

And a little disconcerting.

Downright gruesome, I'd say.

And on top of everything
else, she's a pretty lousy ironer.

I really ought to do it over.

How much would you pay
me to do the vacuum cleaning?

Oh, no, no, you're
working much too hard.

Tomorrow you better go
out and play with your friends

instead of working all the time.

Oh, no, I like working better.

And helping people.

And earning money.

[clears throat]

Oh, that's fine, Kath, old girl.

Just put them in the closet.

Yes, sir.

You know, I'm
fairly proud of you.

- You're doing very well.
- Thank you.

Now you're acting like a
proper young girl should,

developing good habits.

Well, I guess so.

Sure you are.

I'll bet you feel better, too.

Being good, helping others.

Well, yes, I guess I do.

Sure you do.

How much, uh...

My pencil, Kathy.

How much money have
you saved up so far?

Not much. Only about 90 cents.

Gosh, you got a long ways to go.

A pen like Betty's cost
$10, $12, maybe more.

Well, gosh, I have to spend
so much time doing good things

I haven't any time
to earn money.

Now, now, Kathy.

Can't you let up
on me for a while?

Or lend me some money?

Uh-uh-uh-uh.

Did I take the pen?

Did I break it?

Will it be my neck
if Betty finds out?

No.

All right, then.

You got to remember,

I'm doing all this
for your own good.

Now, what is this?

Is Kathy shining your shoes?

Hi, Dad. Yeah, she's
brushing them up a little bit.

She does good work,
too. This is a very fine girl.

Hmm.

Want your shoes shined, Daddy?

Only costs 20 cents.

Oh, no, I hardly think
that's a job for a young lady.

But I need the money.

[clears throat]

Oh, you need the money, huh?

Well, on second thought,
maybe I do need a shine.

Uh, bring your
equipment into our room.

Let's see. This will
bring it up to $1.10.

But it's still a
long ways to go.

Don't worry, kid.
You'll make it.

Oh, you don't have
to take off your shoes.

Well, I just want to give
you a tip on how to do this.

Now, you make nice,
long brushstrokes like this.

See?

You know, you've
been pretty good lately.

Thank you.

How do you like Bud for a boss?

Oh, just wonderful.

Uh-huh.

Is he promising you some
big reward for being good?

Or threatening you?

Oh, no. He's just helping
me develop good habits

like a proper girl should.

Mm-hmm.

You said you needed money.

Just what do you
need this money for?

Just want to save
up for... For the future.

Well, someday I might
want to get married,

and I'll need money
for a wedding gown.

And rice.

Those things all cost, you know.

[chuckles]

Yes, that rice runs pretty high.

Well, here's your 20 cents.

And because you
did such a good job,

here's a 10 cent tip.

Oh, thanks.

Every little bit helps.

Towards the rice, I mean.

Oh, don't let me disturb you.

I, uh, just want to
congratulate you

on the good job
you're doing on Kathy.

Yeah, she's coming
along just fine, isn't she?

I'm very proud of her.

All right, I can't
stand it any longer.

How did you do it?

How?

Just gave her a little advice.

Oh, look, I've been
giving her advice for years,

and it never had
any miraculous effect

like whatever you're using.

Well, you see, Dad,

you're in a different
age bracket than she is.

See, you're old
enough to be her father.

In fact, you are her father,
and that's the whole trouble.

You see, I am near her age,

so I can understand her problems
better than you can. You see?

Hmm.

Oh, is that your
paper on the dictators?

How are you coming?

Oh, not so hot. This is
too tough an assignment.

I couldn't find anything

that had turned these
guys into dictators.

Except in the case of Mussolini.

Do you know what he
was as a young man?

No.

A schoolteacher.

[laughs]

You better leave that out.

I doubt if your teacher
would appreciate that point.

[clears throat]

I give up. I don't
know how he's doing it.

Have you any idea why
Kathy needs money right now?

Nope, all I know is she's
trying to earn all she can.

She says it's to buy
rice for her wedding.

[chuckles]

Well, there's certainly
something fishy about all this.

For one thing, they speak
so lovingly of each other.

And when those two do that,

now, you know that
something is wrong.

What bothers me most

is that she's
becoming Bud's slave.

Yeah.

She irons his shirts for
him, runs his errands...

She even shines his shoes.

Really? Aw, now
that's going too far.

We better do
something about this.

And we will, but not quite yet.

I'm just curious enough

to want to find out what
Bud's secret power is.

But how do we find that out?

Well, keep a weather eye open.

Our nose to the wind
and our ear to the ground.

[laughs]

Boy, are we going to look silly.

That's $9.00.

25, 35, 40.

Ooh, gee, $9.40.

Oh, boy, only 60 more
cents and I can buy the pen.

Only 60 sweaty more cents.

[Bud] Kathy.

Where are you, Kath?

In here.

Oh, there's my little old pal.

How's the fountain
pen fund stacking up?

Pretty good.

Well, you'll make it because
you're a good kid now.

Good work habits, thrifty.

And to think I've
done all this for you

in just a little over a week.

Yes, sir, you're okay.

Thanks.

Oh, by the way, I
have a date tonight,

so I'll need my black shoes
polished and my gray slack pressed.

- Got it?
- Got it.

Oh, and when you finish
with my shoes and slacks

you might straighten
up my room a little.

I didn't have
time to do it today.

Okay.

Oh, hiya, sis. How's everything?

Kathy, how much longer

are you going to let
him do this to you?

Do what to me?

Oh, stop it.

The next thing he'll have you

hobbling around here
in chains and shackles.

Why do you let him
order you around?

Because he's...

He's my brother.

He's an insufferable
little creep.

Yeah.

I mean, no. He's teaching
me good work habits, thrift...

And stupidity.

He's brainwashing you,
that's what he's doing.

Now, you listen to me.

Did you buy a new pen?

Oh, no, it's one of
Father's. It's no good, either.

If I ever get my hands on
whoever took my good one...

[Bud] Kathy.

Come in here, Kath.

Don't go.

But I have to.

Why?

Because he's... Well, he's...

He's your brother.

[Bud] Oh, Kathy.

Oh, keep quiet.

Where are you, Kath?

Yes, yes, I'm coming!

Ooh, you just wait.

Someday.

Someday.

Oh, and when you make my bed,
be sure and change the sheets.

Today's the day for
it. You know, Saturday.

I guess that's about all.

Oh, yes, you might run
these books back to the library.

And see if you can't find
any others on dictators.

I couldn't find anything
in these I could use.

Okay, sweetie?

What if I don't want to
go down to the library?

What?

I said, "What if
I don't want..."

Kathy, come here.

Kath, you're not going to undo

all the good work
I've done, are you?

You've been doing so great.

I was so proud of
you. Everyone was.

You wouldn't hurt me like this.

Not after the way I've worked
and sweated and slaved

to make such a
good kid out of you.

You don't want to
do this to me, do you?

Now, you just
do these little jobs

like the good kid
that I know you are.

Remember, this is
all for your own good.

Oh, and I'll need those
shoes and slacks by 5:30.

All for my own good, hey?

Ooh, him.

Him!

Daddy, if I wash your
car for only 60 cents,

can I have the money
now in advance?

We just washed the car
yesterday. It doesn't need it now.

But it will by the time I
get around to doing it.

All I want now is
the pay. 60 cents.

Why just 60 cents?

You got a dollar for
the same job yesterday.

Because 60 cents
is all I need to...

All you need to what?

To, um, to buy the rice.

I see.

Kathy, don't you think
it's time you told me

what you really
want this money for?

Well, it's sort of a surprise.

For Betty.

Oh.

Oh, Kathy, you mustn't
slam the door like that.

Now, you know better than that.

I'm sorry. Where's Betty?

She's right there
in the living room.

[Betty] You want me?

Betty, this is for you.

For me?

It's my pen.

No, it's a brand-new one.

That's right. I just bought it.

I broke the other
one by accident.

I was afraid to tell you.

So that's what you've
been saving up for.

I'll never break
anything of yours again.

Honest.

Is Bud upstairs?

[Margaret] I think so.

Kathy, wait.

Did Bud know anything about
this fountain pen business?

Don't worry about
Bud. I'll take care of him.

Oh, my gosh. Do you realize
what Bud's secret power is?

He's been blackmailing her.

Blackmailing? Oh,
well, we better...

[Bud] Help! Mom, Dad! Mom!

Mom, Dad!

Come out from under there!

Kathy, Kathy, little pal.

What's the matter?
I'm your friend.

You wouldn't want
to hurt me, would you?

After I've worked and
sweated and slaved.

Come out from under there

so I can knock your
head clean over the fence!

Oh, Kathy.

Dad, save me from this fiend.

No, Daddy, I can handle this.

No, no, no, we'll
take care of it.

And it's high time, too.

Bud, come out from under there.

No, wait.

Let's keep him under
there for a while.

Kathy, you go gather up
all the shoes you can find.

- Shoes?
- Yeah, hurry. Go on.

And, Betty, there's a box
in his closet about that big.

Get it.

Dad, what... what are you doing?

You be quiet, you blackmailer.

Blackmailer?

You mean this box?

Yeah, put it down there by Bud.

What do you mean blackmailer?

What should I do with them?

Dump them down there.

Now, Bud, start shining.

But, Dad, why are
you punishing me?

I didn't blackmail anybody.

Yes, you did.

Honey, get some
paper off of his desk.

And a fountain pen.

Bud seems to know how
to use pens to advantage.

All right, so I made use
of a broken fountain pen,

but it was only to
make Kathy be good.

What's wrong with that?

The end does not
justify the means.

Besides, you were
getting pretty power happy.

Now, shine!

What about these?

Oh, yeah, good.

And when you
finish with the shoes,

write down the story of your
life these past two weeks.

You wanted to write a
paper about a dictator.

Well, son, that'll be it.

Call it "The Rise and
Fall of a 60 Cent Dictator".

Shall we go, ladies?

And let the man work.

- Daddy?
- Huh?

Would you be mad if I
went in and helped Bud?

What?

Help Bud? Why?

Oh, I don't know. I just
got the habit, I guess.

I think I feel better if
I'm helping someone.

[chuckles]

Okay, kitten.

But don't help him too much.

I want this lesson to
rub in real well on him.

There's nothing like
shoe polish for rubbing in.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA