Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 8 - Bud, the Millionaire - full transcript
Bud feels he is being underpaid in his allowance, and he has to work to earn it. Jim decides to teach him a lesson by giving him $10 a week and the stipulation he has to only use it on himself. Bud finds having money does not buy friends.
[classical music]
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
♪ ♪
AND JANE WYATT...
[laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY AND LAUREN CHAPIN
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
[comic music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
HI, DAD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, NOTHING, JUST FOOLING
AROUND WITH MY KNIFE.
OH.
I THOUGHT YOU DEVELOPED A NEW
SYSTEM FOR CUTTING THE GRASS:
ONE BLADE AT A TIME.
YOU BETTER GET STARTED IF
YOU WANNA EARN THAT DOLLAR.
HEY, DAD, WHY DO
WE CUT THE GRASS?
IT JUST GROWS
RIGHT BACK UP AGAIN.
WHY DO YOU EAT, YOU
JUST GET HUNGRY AGAIN?
[canned laughter]
I'LL BE HOME EARLY
THIS AFTERNOON.
BUT IF YOU GET
THROUGH BEFORE THAT...
YOU CAN COLLECT YOUR
DOLLAR FROM YOUR MOTHER.
♪ ♪
GOOD MORNING, MR. ANDERSON.
GOOD MORNING, FRED.
HEY, BUDDY BOY.
HI, FRED.
♪ ♪
HE GOT YOU WORKING, HUH?
YEAH.
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THE HAT?
DOWN AT THE VARIETY
STORE. PRETTY JAZZY, HUH?
YEAH. GEE, I SURE
WISH I HAD ONE.
LET ME TRY IT.
GET YOURSELF ONE.
THEY'RE ONLY A BUCK.
ONLY A BUCK?
THAT'S ALL I'M GETTING FOR
MOWING THIS WHOLE LAWN.
ONE BUCK.
ONE MEASLY BUCK.
[clicks tongue] THAT'S NOT MUCH.
YOU'RE TELLING ME?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
YOU KNOW ERNIE WINKLER? YEAH.
YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH HE GETS A WEEK?
HOW MUCH? 10 BUCKS.
YOU'RE KIDDING. NO.
10 BUCKS.
WHAT'S HE HAVE TO DO FOR IT?
NOTHING. THAT'S
THE GREAT PART OF IT.
♪ ♪
10 BUCKS... A WEEK.
HIS DAD'S LOADED.
HE RUNS AN OIL
COMPANY, OR SOMETHING.
ERNIE DOESN'T HAVE
TO DO ANYTHING.
DOESN'T HAVE TO MOW ANY
LAWN, TAKE OUT ANY TRASH.
HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO
BREATHE IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO.
GEE, WOULDN'T THAT BE THE LIFE?
YEAH. MONEY IN YOUR
POCKETS ALL THE TIME.
NO WORK.
NOTHING TO DO, BUT MOSEY AROUND,
AND SPEND A LITTLE DOUGH HERE...
A LITTLE DOUGH THERE.
YEAH.
HOW OLD IS DADDY
GONNA BE TOMORROW?
WELL, LET'S JUST
SAY HE'S PAST 20.
WE GOT TO KNOW EXACT, DON'T WE?
SO WE CAN HAVE THE
RIGHT NUMBER OF CANDLES.
NO, I THINK HE'LL LIKE IT
BETTER IF WE'RE NOT TOO EXACT.
WHY THE CAKE?
TOMORROW'S DADDY'S BIRTHDAY.
WELL, I THOUGHT YOU'RE
GONNA MOW THE LAWN.
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU CUT ONE CORNER, THEN QUIT.
I GOT TO TALK TO DAD
WHEN HE GETS HOME.
YOU BUST THE LAWN
MOWER? [door closes]
NO. MOTHER?
IN THE KITCHEN!
I MET MRS. LEWIS
AT THE DRUGSTORE.
SHE ASKED ME IF I'D BABYSIT
WITH HER CHILDREN
THIS AFTERNOON,
AND I SAID, "SURE".
BOY, TALK ABOUT PERFECT TIMING.
JUST WHEN I WAS WONDERING
WHERE I'D FIND THE MONEY
TO BUY FATHER A
BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
I'M MAKING HIM A
PRESENT, MAKING IT MYSELF.
WELL, YOU'RE A GENIUS, I'M NOT.
HMM! DID YOU KNOW YOU
LEFT THE LAWN MOWER
SITTING RIGHT IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE FRONT WALK?
PART OF THE LAWN'S
CUT AND PART OF IT ISN'T.
IT LOOKS AWFUL.
WHAT'S THE IDEA?
AREN'T YOU GONNA FINISH IT?
WELL, I CAN'T SAY...
DEFINITELY... YET.
BUD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
NOTHING, I'D JUST BEEN THINKING.
YOU?
A GUY'S GOT A RIGHT
TO THINK, HASN'T HE?
AND THAT LAWN OUT
THERE, EVERY WEEK I CUT IT.
I'VE BEEN WASTING
MY LIFE DOING A JOB
THAT COULD BE DONE
BY A HUNGRY COW.
I'M GONNA LIE DOWN AND
REST UNTIL DAD GETS HOME.
I'LL BE UP IN MY ROOM.
NOW, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
WE GOIN' TO GET A COW?
WELL, THERE'S
SOMETHING IN THE WIND.
MAYBE HE'S JUST TIRED.
PROBABLY DIDN'T GO TO
BED IN LATE LAST NIGHT.
WHAT KIND OF COW
ARE WE GONNA GET?
NOBODY'S GETTING
A COW. [door closes]
WELL, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
MARGARET, I'M HOME.
OOH, HIDE THIS. OH!
OH, HI, DADDY!
HAPPY DAY BEFORE YOUR BIRTHDAY!
THANK YOU, KITTEN.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TODAY?
MAKING YOU A PRESENT,
BUT IT'S A SECRET.
OH. BUD'S GONNA GET A COW.
A COW? TO EAT THE LAWN.
HELLO, DEAR. THAT'S
A NICE SENSIBLE IDEA.
HI, HONEY. [chuckles]
DON'T COME IN THE LIVING ROOM.
HEY, WHAT'S WITH BUD?
WHY DIDN'T HE FINISH
MOWING THE LAWN?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
HE CAME HOME MUTTERING
SOMETHING ABOUT WASTING HIS LIFE.
I THINK HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
HE'S UPSTAIRS IN
HIS ROOM, RESTING.
I SEE, WASTING HIS LIFE.
WELL, THAT COULD MEAN
HE WANTS TO QUIT SCHOOL
AND TAKE UP A CORRESPONDENCE
COURSE IN SKIN DIVING,
OR HE AND I SHOULD BUY A
COUPLE OF MOTORCYCLES
AND TAKE A TRIP TO
ALASKA. [canned laughter]
I'LL SEE WHAT'S ON HIS MIND.
OH, HI, DAD.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
YEAH.
WELL, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
MONEY.
OH.
WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO WORK
SO HARD JUST TO MAKE A BUCK?
WELL... LOOK AT THE TIME I WASTE
SHOVING THAT DARN
LAWN MOWER AROUND,
TIME WHEN A GUY OUGHT
TO BE OUT ENJOYING HIS LIFE.
YOU KNOW, THE YEARS ARE
GOING PRETTY FAST, DAD,
I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.
I DON'T SEE ANY GRAY HAIRS.
YEAH, BUT YOU AND MOM ALWAYS SAY
THAT YOUTH IS THE
BEST TIME IN A GUY'S LIFE,
AND YOU ALWAYS SAY
IT DOESN'T LAST LONG.
SO, WHY SHOULD I
WASTE IT WORKING?
KILLING MYSELF FOR
ONE MEASLY BUCK?
I DON'T GET WHAT
YOU'RE DRIVING AT.
YOU WANT TWO MEASLY
BUCKS? [canned laughter]
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST...
WELL, I... I JUST DON'T WANT
TO FRITTER MY LIFE AWAY.
OH.
AND THE TIME YOU SPEND WORKING,
YOU FEEL THAT'S, UH, FRITTERED?
SURE. HMM.
WELL, LOOK AT ERNIE WINKLER.
NOW, HE'S GOT THE DEAL.
HE DOESN'T DO ANY
WORK. NO WORK AT ALL.
AND HIS DAD GIVES
HIM 10 BUCKS A WEEK.
OH, I SEE.
NOW, WHY CAN'T I
GET A DEAL LIKE THAT?
YOU WANT ME TO
JUST HAND YOU $10?
WHY NOT?
BUD, IT JUST DOESN'T
WORK THAT WAY.
WHY NOT? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T.
I... IT'S, UH, ONE OF THE
FIRST LAWS OF NATURE.
YOU... YOU...
YOU CAN'T GET
SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.
WELL, ERNIE WINKLER DOES.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT
ERNIE WINKLER.
HIS FATHER WANTS
TO DOLE OUT MONEY
AND TURN HIS SON INTO A
LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING,
THAT'S HIS BUSINESS.
JUST DON'T EXPECT ME TO DO IT.
YOU MEAN THE ANSWER IS NO?
OF COURSE, THE ANSWER IS NO.
YOU WANT MONEY? YOU JUST...
WORK FOR IT LIKE
ANYONE ELSE. DAD.
I SUGGEST YOU GO DOWN
AND FINISH MOWING THAT LAWN.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
WELL, BIG CHIEF THUNDERCLOUD,
WHAT GOES WITH YOU?
NEVER MIND.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH BUD?
OH, NOTHING, WE JUST HAD A
SLIGHT DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
WHERE'RE YOU OFF TO?
OH, I... I HAVE A
DATE. [chuckles]
SEE YOU LATER.
[door slams shut]
A DATE?
2 O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON?
SHE'S BABYSITTING
OVER AT THE LEWISES.
OH, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU
BUT SHE'S EARNING MONEY TO
BUY YOU A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
OH.
QUITE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR
KIDS RIGHT AT THE MOMENT.
BUD'S MADDER THAN A WET HEN
BECAUSE I WON'T GIVE HIM
$10 A WEEK FOR DOING NOTHING.
OH, SO THAT'S WHAT
WAS ON HIS MIND.
HMM?
DON'T COME IN! DON'T COME IN!
CLOSE YOUR EYES, DADDY.
[canned laughter]
WHAT AM I, UH, NOT
SUPPOSED TO SEE?
I'M MAKING YOU A... [gasps]
NOT GONNA TELL.
THAT'S WHY YOU GOTTA
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
[paper crinkling]
OKAY, NOW, YOU CAN LOOK.
[fading footsteps]
BIG PREPARATIONS
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
YEAH.
WHERE DID BUD GET
THIS $10-A-WEEK IDEA?
OH, SOME KID HE KNOWS
IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
THIS ARRANGEMENT.
NOTHING TO DO BUT SPEND
MONEY AND HAVE A BIG TIME.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN TO A
BOY THAT THIS IS NO GOOD?
YOU MUST EXPLAIN
IT TO HIM SOMEHOW.
HE'S OUT MOWING THE LAWN AGAIN.
[canned laughter]
SORT OF.
I DIDN'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.
I ORDERED HIM BACK TO
WORK. THAT WAS THE EASY WAY.
BUT THE WHOLE IDEA
WAS SO FANTASTIC THAT I...
WELL, IT CAUGHT ME
OFF BALANCE, THAT'S ALL.
I JUST DIDN'T HAVE
A SENSIBLE ANSWER.
HOW DO YOU
CONVINCE A BOY HIS AGE
THAT "ALL MONEY AND NO WORK"...
ISN'T AS ROSY AS IT SOUNDS?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THERE ARE TIMES AFTER
I'VE HAD A HARD DAY
WHEN YOU'D EVEN HAVE
TROUBLE CONVINCING ME.
[canned laughter]
I THINK I HAVE THE
BEGINNING OF A SNEAKY IDEA.
[whirring]
IT'S PRETTY CRUEL, BUT
IT MAY BE THE ANSWER.
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE WOULD HAPPEN
IF I WENT ALONG WITH
THIS IDEA OF BUD'S?
OH, I WOULDN'T MAKE ANY BETS.
YOU COULD LOSE YOUR SHIRT.
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
IN FACT, I HAVE 6,000 YEARS
OF EXPERIENCE TO BACK ME UP.
[canned laughter]
BUD!
[whirring]
BUD! YEAH?
OH, COME IN HERE
A MINUTE, WILL YOU?
WHAT DID I DO?
NOTHING. I JUST
WANNA TALK TO YOU.
WHAT ABOUT?
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
THAT MONEY PROBLEM OF YOURS.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE $10 A WEEK.
NO KIDDING.
W... WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
[canned laughter] NOTHING.
IN FACT, THAT'S ONE OF
THE CONDITIONS OF THE DEAL.
YOU'RE NOT TO DO
ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE.
YOU REALLY MEAN THIS NOW?
IT'S NOT JUST A GAG? NO GAG.
THERE YOU ARE.
[money rustling]
[canned laughter]
THERE'S YOUR $10 FOR THIS WEEK.
[canned laughter]
HMM.
OH, UM... THERE IS
ONE OTHER CONDITION.
OH, I KNEW THERE HAD
TO BE A CATCH TO IT.
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
THERE'S NO CATCH.
BUT YOU MUST MAKE
A SOLEMN PROMISE.
YOU ARE TO BE HONOR BOUND
TO SPEND THIS MONEY
ONLY ON YOURSELF.
OH, SURE. [chuckles]
A GUY COULDN'T ASK FOR A
BETTER PROMISE THAN THAT.
REMEMBER THIS MONEY AND
WHATEVER YOU BUY WITH IT
IS ONLY FOR YOURSELF.
NOW, YOU BREAK THAT
RULE AND THE DEAL IS OFF.
YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK.
WELL, I... I PROMISE. I PROMISE.
YOU'RE SURE THERE'S
NO OTHER CATCH TO THIS?
[canned laughter]
NO, THAT'S ALL.
THE MONEY IS YOURS
NOW. GO OUT AND LIVE IT UP.
GEE, I... WELL,
THIS IS GREAT, DAD.
THANKS. IT'S OKAY
IF I TELL FRED?
SURE.
OH, BUD, UH, JUST
ONE MORE THING.
WHAT IS IT?
WHEN YOU GET OUT
TO THE FRONT YARD,
WILL YOU DO ME A BIG FAVOR?
[sighs]
MOVE THE HAND OF THE LAWNMOWER,
SO IT DOESN'T BLOCK THE WALK.
[canned laughter]
SURE.
[door opens]
I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
WELL, I'LL ADMIT I'M
TAKING A CHANCE.
BUT IF I'M RIGHT, THIS IS A
LESSON HE'LL NEVER FORGET.
IF YOU'RE WRONG,
YOU MAY BE SUPPORTING HIM
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
[canned laughter]
OKAY. YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, HUH?
THERE YOU ARE, 10 BUCKS.
MAN, I NEVER HEARD
ANYTHING LIKE IT.
WHAT A DEAL!
HEY, WE KNOW A GUY WITH MONEY,
OL'MILLIONAIRE BUD.
YEAH, OL'MONEY BAGS ANDERSON.
DON'T FORGET, BUD,
WE KNEW YOU WHEN.
OKAY, LET'S NOT OVERDO IT.
WELL, LADS, WHAT
CAN I DO FOR YOU?
YOU BOYS BUYING OR JUST LOOKING?
WE'RE BUYING.
MR. BIGELOW, OUR FRIEND
HERE JUST HIT THE JACKPOT.
YOU DON'T SAY.
HE'S LOADED.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BUY?
I THINK I LIKE ONE OF THOSE HAT.
[toy gun buzzes] OKAY.
HERE'S ONE OUGHT
TO BE ABOUT YOUR SIZE.
HOW ABOUT THAT, YOU GUYS?
NEAT, MAN, I SURE
WISH I HAD ONE.
ME, TOO.
I HAD ONE, BUT THE
DARN DOG CHEWED IT UP.
[canned laughter]
ANYTHING ELSE?
I THINK I'LL HAVE A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES.
HERE.
I CAN ALWAYS USE A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES.
HEY, BUY ONE OF THESE.
AN EGG BEATER?
THEY'RE ONLY A QUARTER.
I THINK I'LL HAVE A CANE, TOO,
THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD.
HEY, HOW ABOUT SOME CANDY?
LET'S GET SOME JAW BREAKERS.
GET SOME
CHOCOLATE-COVERED PEANUTS!
HMM, WELL...
I THINK I'LL HAVE, UH,
SOME OF THOSE MINTS,
AND, UH, SOME OF THOSE
ORANGE SLICES, TOO.
THERE YOU ARE.
THAT'S $4.60 ALTOGETHER.
$4.60. $4.60 OUT OF $5.00.
[cash register rings up]
[canned laughter]
THERE YOU ARE.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
HOW ABOUT SPREADING
THE CANDY AROUND,
BOY, WE'RE WAITING.
YEAH, HOW ABOUT IT?
WELL, I CAN'T GIVE YOU GUYS ANY.
I PROMISED MY DAD.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
N-NOT EVEN ONE PIECE?
WELL, I-I CAN'T DO IT.
IT'S PART OF THE DEAL.
I-I HAD TO PROMISE THAT
I WOULDN'T BUY ANYTHING
FOR ANYBODY OR GIVE
ANY OF THE STUFF AWAY.
IF I DO, I'LL LOSE THE 10 BUCKS,
AND I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK.
[car horn honks]
HONEST, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
OKAY, BIG SPORT.
[canned laughter]
WAIT.
WELL, IT WAS PART OF THE DEAL.
I CAN'T HELP IT IF
I MADE A PROMISE.
HEY, FRED, WHY DON'T YOU AND ME
GO TO THE MOVIE TONIGHT?
IT'S A GOOD SHOW ON.
OKAY, THAT'S A DEAL.
SURE, GOOD DEAL.
SEE YOU TONIGHT.
YEAH, 7:30, IN
FRONT OF THE SHOW.
GOOD DEAL, 7:30, SEE YOU.
YEAH, SEE YOU.
[comic music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[door clicks open]
HI, WHERE'S FATHER?
UPSTAIRS, WHY?
OH, WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE
BIRTHDAY PRESENT I BOUGHT HIM.
MRS. LOUIS PAID ME $3.
I JUST GOT IT AT
THE JEWELRY STORE
BEFORE IT CLOSED. OH, DID
YOU SEE BUD ANYWHERE?
NO, I GOT FATHER THE
MOST BEAUTIFUL PAIR...
FATHER!
OH, WHAT'S WRONG?
AM I IN A RESTRICTED AREA?
[canned laughter]
[knocks]
[door shuts]
[canned laughter]
WHAT DO YOU HEAR FROM THE...
[canned laughter]
HOW'S THE NEW DEAL?
GREAT, DAD, JUST GREAT.
BUDDY, GO EASY ON THAT CANDY.
DINNER'S ALMOST READY.
OH, I THOUGHT I WON'T
BE HERE FOR DINNER, MOM.
ME AND FREDDIE
ARE GOING TO A SHOW
AND I GOTTA LEAVE PRETTY SOON.
WHAT GOES WITH HIM?
WHAT DO YOU GOT, BUD?
NOTHIN' YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN.
GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF IT!
OKAY, STINGY!
OOH, WHAT'S THIS FOR?
DON'T HANDLE THE MERCHANDISE.
[canned laughter] FORGIVE
ME, OH, EMPEROR.
A THOUSAND PARDONS,
YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.
I SHALL GO FORTH AND
EXECUTE MYSELF IMMEDIATELY.
YEAH, YOU DO THAT.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
JIM, DON'T YOU THINK
YOU OUGHTA PUT A STOP
TO THE SPENDING SPREE?
LOOK AT HIM IN THERE.
WHY, IT'S DISGUSTING!
IT'S A PERFECTLY NORMAL
REACTION FOR A BOY.
OH.
NOW, LEAVE HIM ALONE.
HE'S DOING FINE.
FATHER, WHAT HAVE
YOU DONE TO BUD?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
WELL, THE CRAZY WAY HE'S ACTING,
SOMEBODY'S DONE SOMETHING.
AND I KNOW IT WASN'T MOTHER.
[canned laughter]
NOW, YOU JUST LEAVE BUD ALONE.
HE'S GOING THROUGH A
PERFECTLY HARMLESS PERIOD
OF MENTAL DEVELOPMENT.
DEVELOPMENT?
YOU CALL THAT DEVELOPMENT?
LYING IN THERE WITH
THAT RIDICULOUS HAT ON,
STUFFING HIMSELF WITH CANDY,
ACTING LIKE A LITTLE TIN GOD.
WHERE DID HE GET ALL THE
MONEY HE'S THROWING AROUND?
[canned laughter]
AREN'T YOU AT ALL CONCERNED?
THERE'S NOTHING TO
BE CONCERNED ABOUT.
I GAVE BUD THE MONEY
AND HE DID WHAT EXACTLY
AS I HOPED HE WOULD,
BOUGHT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
SO, NOW, HE HAS ALL THE
JUNK, HE'S STUFFED WITH CANDY,
AND HE'S PROBABLY
REALIZING RIGHT THIS MINUTE
THAT HIS MONEY ISN'T BUYING
ALL HE THOUGHT IT WOULD.
OH, BUD HEARD ABOUT A BOY
WHOSE PARENTS
GAVE HIM $10 A WEEK
AND HE DIDN'T HAVE
TO DO ANY WORK.
SO THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED.
OF ALL THE UTTERLY INSANE IDEAS.
AND YOU GAVE IT TO HIM?
YES, I GAVE IT TO HIM.
AND DON'T LOOK AT ME
AS IF I'D LOST MY SENSES.
THIS IS THE BEST
CURE IN THE WORLD.
AND THE QUICKEST.
IN FACT, IT'S WORKING A LOT
QUICKER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
YOU SAW HIM WHEN HE CAME IN.
DID YOU SEE ANY JOY?
ANY ELATION?
HE'S HAD IT.
THE GLITTER'S GONE.
THE BUBBLE'S BURST.
I'LL BET YOU 10 TO 1, HE'S SICK
OF THE WHOLE DEAL RIGHT NOW.
HE'S COMPLETELY BACK TO NORMAL.
I GOTTA BE LEAVING
NOW. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OH, WHAT ABOUT DINNER?
WELL, I'LL GRAB A STEAK OR
SOMETHING AT THE RESTAURANT.
[canned laughter] GRAB A STEAK?
SURE.
I'LL SEE YOU.
BUD!
DON'T FORGET TO WEAR A JACKET.
IT'LL BE COLD WALKING DOWNTOWN.
WELL, I WON'T WALK.
I'LL CATCH A CAB.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
YOU CALL THAT NORMAL?
[canned laughter]
HI.
I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE
FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES.
OH, I'M SORRY.
I HAD DINNER AT THE GOLDEN GRILL
AND THE WAITERS ARE REAL SLOW.
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE.
[canned laughter]
WELL, LET'S GO IN
AND SEE THE SHOW.
OKAY.
ONE PLEASE.
[INDISCERNIBLE]
[canned laughter]
WHERE'S YOUR
TICKET? [canned laughter]
HE GAVE IT TO YOU, DIDN'T HE?
HE GAVE ME ONE TICKET.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GETTING THE TICKETS?
WELL, I GOT MY OWN. I...
YOU ASKED ME TO GO TO THE MOVIE?
YOU MEAN, I GOTTA
BUY MY OWN TICKET?
CLEAR THE DOOR, FELLOWS.
YOU'RE BLOCKING TRAFFIC.
WELL, I TOLD YOU.
I CAN'T BUY IT FOR ANYBODY.
BUT YOU INVITED ME.
I DIDN'T INVITE
YOU, I ASKED YOU.
IT'S THE SAME THING.
REAL FRIEND YOU ARE.
NOTHING BUT A PHONY TIGHTWAD.
BIG MAN!
BIG CHEAPSKATE.
WAIT, FRED.
GO ON!
GO TO THE SHOW, MONEYBAGS!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
CAN I HAVE MY
MONEY BACK FOR THIS?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DIDN'T YOU LIKE THE SHOW?
WELL, IT'S NO FUN GOING ALONE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
[door clicks open]
[door shuts close]
HI, BUD. HI.
HOW WAS THE SHOW?
I DIDN'T GO.
I GUESS I'LL HAVE A MALT,
UH, CHOCOLATE, I GUESS.
[classical music]
♪ ♪
[footsteps approaching]
♪ ♪
WOW, THE OL'MILLIONAIRE.
[canned laughter]
OH, CAN, I [INDISCERNIBLE]
AND FRED SIT DOWN HERE?
MAYBE WE CAN SHINE
YOUR SHOES FOR YOU.
MAYBE YOU'LL EVEN GIVE US A
DIME IF WE SHINE 'EM REAL GOOD.
YEAH.
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[coin clinks]
♪ ♪
[coin clinks]
♪ ♪
YOU'RE SITTING ON MY HAT.
HUH?
OH, I'M DEVASTATED!
[canned laughter]
I'VE SAT ON THIS MAJESTY'S HAT.
OH, HOW PERFECTLY
DREADFUL OF ME.
ALLOW ME TO REPAIR IT.
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
OH, IT'S YOU, THE BIG TYCOON.
CUT IT OUT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO THE MOVIE?
I CHANGED MY MIND.
YOU'RE BROKE ALREADY.
NO, I'M NOT BROKE ALREADY.
OH, WHAT DID YOU GET
FOR FATHER'S BIRTHDAY?
FOR WHAT?
FATHER'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW,
DIDN'T YOU GET HIM ANYTHING?
OH, I FORGOT.
I'LL... I'LL GET HIM SOMETHING.
PRIDEY'S STORE IS STILL OPEN.
I'LL... I'LL GET HIM
SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.
WELL, I SHOULD THINK SO.
You can't buy him a
present with that, remember?
Just for yourself, remember?
HEY, BETTY.
WAIT.
COULD YOU LEND ME
A COUPLE OF BUCKS?
LEND YOU?
ME, LEND YOU A COUPLE OF BUCKS?
[chuckling] THAT'S HYSTERICAL.
YOU'RE THE MILLIONAIRE.
USE YOUR OWN MONEY.
OH, THE NERVE.
[laughs]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[squeaks]
WELL, YOU BACK SO SOON?
WHERE'S DAD?
OUT IN THE GARAGE.
WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM?
NO.
♪ ♪
MOM, I'M... I'M IN A TOUGH SPOT.
TOMORROW IS DAD'S BIRTHDAY
AND... I WANNA GET HIM
SOMETHING REAL GOOD,
BUT I...
BUT YOU WHAT?
WELL, I GOT THE MONEY, $3.20...
BUT IF I'D SPEND IT ON A
PRESENT FOR HIM, WELL, I'M DEAD.
I'D LOSE THE 10 BUCKS A WEEK.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
WELL, I THINK YOU HAVE TO
DECIDE WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT,
YOUR LIFE OF MONEY AND EASE
OR A GIFT FOR YOUR FATHER?
IT HAS TO BE ONE OR THE OTHER.
BUD, I CAN'T HELP YOU.
THIS HAS TO BE YOUR DECISION.
IT'S UP TO YOU.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
WHAT WILL IT BE, SON?
WELL, I'D, UH...
I'D LIKE TO BUY A
WALLET FOR MY DAD...
FOR $3.20.
KITTEN, THAT'S A
REAL WORK OF ART,
A PICTURE OF A GENUINE HORSE.
I PAINTED IT MYSELF.
NOBODY HELPED ME.
I CAN'T THINK OF A
NICER BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
WHERE ARE THE
CUFFLINKS BETTY GAVE YOU?
I'M WEARING THEM. OH.
JUST THE KIND I LIKE.
SHOW THEM BUD'S PRESENT.
OH, THIS IS FROM BUD,
THE EX-MILLIONAIRE.
AND I'D LIKE TO READ YOU THE
LITTLE NOTE THAT HE PUT IN IT.
"DEAR DAD, I HAD TO BUY THIS
WITH WHAT I HAD LEFT OF THE $10,
SO OUR DEAL IS OFF.
"BUT DON'T FEEL BAD
BECAUSE I FEEL GOOD.
"HAVING THE MONEY WAS NO FUN
THE WAY I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
"LIKE YOU SAID, YOU CAN'T
GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING...
WHICH IS TOO BAD.
[canned laughter]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. BUD."
[laughs]
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, DADDY?
UH...
MAYBE HE FOUND OUT
MONEY IS STRANGE STUFF.
YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE A BARREL OF IT,
BUT IT'S NOT MUCH GOOD
UNLESS YOU WORK FOR IT,
OR YOU CAN SHARE IT WITH OTHERS.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
[laughs]
[canned laughter]
OH HERE, DON'T SPOIL MY PICTURE.
[applause]
[theme music]
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
♪ ♪
AND JANE WYATT...
[laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY AND LAUREN CHAPIN
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
[comic music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
HI, DAD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, NOTHING, JUST FOOLING
AROUND WITH MY KNIFE.
OH.
I THOUGHT YOU DEVELOPED A NEW
SYSTEM FOR CUTTING THE GRASS:
ONE BLADE AT A TIME.
YOU BETTER GET STARTED IF
YOU WANNA EARN THAT DOLLAR.
HEY, DAD, WHY DO
WE CUT THE GRASS?
IT JUST GROWS
RIGHT BACK UP AGAIN.
WHY DO YOU EAT, YOU
JUST GET HUNGRY AGAIN?
[canned laughter]
I'LL BE HOME EARLY
THIS AFTERNOON.
BUT IF YOU GET
THROUGH BEFORE THAT...
YOU CAN COLLECT YOUR
DOLLAR FROM YOUR MOTHER.
♪ ♪
GOOD MORNING, MR. ANDERSON.
GOOD MORNING, FRED.
HEY, BUDDY BOY.
HI, FRED.
♪ ♪
HE GOT YOU WORKING, HUH?
YEAH.
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THE HAT?
DOWN AT THE VARIETY
STORE. PRETTY JAZZY, HUH?
YEAH. GEE, I SURE
WISH I HAD ONE.
LET ME TRY IT.
GET YOURSELF ONE.
THEY'RE ONLY A BUCK.
ONLY A BUCK?
THAT'S ALL I'M GETTING FOR
MOWING THIS WHOLE LAWN.
ONE BUCK.
ONE MEASLY BUCK.
[clicks tongue] THAT'S NOT MUCH.
YOU'RE TELLING ME?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
YOU KNOW ERNIE WINKLER? YEAH.
YOU KNOW HOW
MUCH HE GETS A WEEK?
HOW MUCH? 10 BUCKS.
YOU'RE KIDDING. NO.
10 BUCKS.
WHAT'S HE HAVE TO DO FOR IT?
NOTHING. THAT'S
THE GREAT PART OF IT.
♪ ♪
10 BUCKS... A WEEK.
HIS DAD'S LOADED.
HE RUNS AN OIL
COMPANY, OR SOMETHING.
ERNIE DOESN'T HAVE
TO DO ANYTHING.
DOESN'T HAVE TO MOW ANY
LAWN, TAKE OUT ANY TRASH.
HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO
BREATHE IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO.
GEE, WOULDN'T THAT BE THE LIFE?
YEAH. MONEY IN YOUR
POCKETS ALL THE TIME.
NO WORK.
NOTHING TO DO, BUT MOSEY AROUND,
AND SPEND A LITTLE DOUGH HERE...
A LITTLE DOUGH THERE.
YEAH.
HOW OLD IS DADDY
GONNA BE TOMORROW?
WELL, LET'S JUST
SAY HE'S PAST 20.
WE GOT TO KNOW EXACT, DON'T WE?
SO WE CAN HAVE THE
RIGHT NUMBER OF CANDLES.
NO, I THINK HE'LL LIKE IT
BETTER IF WE'RE NOT TOO EXACT.
WHY THE CAKE?
TOMORROW'S DADDY'S BIRTHDAY.
WELL, I THOUGHT YOU'RE
GONNA MOW THE LAWN.
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU CUT ONE CORNER, THEN QUIT.
I GOT TO TALK TO DAD
WHEN HE GETS HOME.
YOU BUST THE LAWN
MOWER? [door closes]
NO. MOTHER?
IN THE KITCHEN!
I MET MRS. LEWIS
AT THE DRUGSTORE.
SHE ASKED ME IF I'D BABYSIT
WITH HER CHILDREN
THIS AFTERNOON,
AND I SAID, "SURE".
BOY, TALK ABOUT PERFECT TIMING.
JUST WHEN I WAS WONDERING
WHERE I'D FIND THE MONEY
TO BUY FATHER A
BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
I'M MAKING HIM A
PRESENT, MAKING IT MYSELF.
WELL, YOU'RE A GENIUS, I'M NOT.
HMM! DID YOU KNOW YOU
LEFT THE LAWN MOWER
SITTING RIGHT IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE FRONT WALK?
PART OF THE LAWN'S
CUT AND PART OF IT ISN'T.
IT LOOKS AWFUL.
WHAT'S THE IDEA?
AREN'T YOU GONNA FINISH IT?
WELL, I CAN'T SAY...
DEFINITELY... YET.
BUD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
NOTHING, I'D JUST BEEN THINKING.
YOU?
A GUY'S GOT A RIGHT
TO THINK, HASN'T HE?
AND THAT LAWN OUT
THERE, EVERY WEEK I CUT IT.
I'VE BEEN WASTING
MY LIFE DOING A JOB
THAT COULD BE DONE
BY A HUNGRY COW.
I'M GONNA LIE DOWN AND
REST UNTIL DAD GETS HOME.
I'LL BE UP IN MY ROOM.
NOW, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
WE GOIN' TO GET A COW?
WELL, THERE'S
SOMETHING IN THE WIND.
MAYBE HE'S JUST TIRED.
PROBABLY DIDN'T GO TO
BED IN LATE LAST NIGHT.
WHAT KIND OF COW
ARE WE GONNA GET?
NOBODY'S GETTING
A COW. [door closes]
WELL, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
MARGARET, I'M HOME.
OOH, HIDE THIS. OH!
OH, HI, DADDY!
HAPPY DAY BEFORE YOUR BIRTHDAY!
THANK YOU, KITTEN.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TODAY?
MAKING YOU A PRESENT,
BUT IT'S A SECRET.
OH. BUD'S GONNA GET A COW.
A COW? TO EAT THE LAWN.
HELLO, DEAR. THAT'S
A NICE SENSIBLE IDEA.
HI, HONEY. [chuckles]
DON'T COME IN THE LIVING ROOM.
HEY, WHAT'S WITH BUD?
WHY DIDN'T HE FINISH
MOWING THE LAWN?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
HE CAME HOME MUTTERING
SOMETHING ABOUT WASTING HIS LIFE.
I THINK HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
HE'S UPSTAIRS IN
HIS ROOM, RESTING.
I SEE, WASTING HIS LIFE.
WELL, THAT COULD MEAN
HE WANTS TO QUIT SCHOOL
AND TAKE UP A CORRESPONDENCE
COURSE IN SKIN DIVING,
OR HE AND I SHOULD BUY A
COUPLE OF MOTORCYCLES
AND TAKE A TRIP TO
ALASKA. [canned laughter]
I'LL SEE WHAT'S ON HIS MIND.
OH, HI, DAD.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
YEAH.
WELL, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
MONEY.
OH.
WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO WORK
SO HARD JUST TO MAKE A BUCK?
WELL... LOOK AT THE TIME I WASTE
SHOVING THAT DARN
LAWN MOWER AROUND,
TIME WHEN A GUY OUGHT
TO BE OUT ENJOYING HIS LIFE.
YOU KNOW, THE YEARS ARE
GOING PRETTY FAST, DAD,
I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.
I DON'T SEE ANY GRAY HAIRS.
YEAH, BUT YOU AND MOM ALWAYS SAY
THAT YOUTH IS THE
BEST TIME IN A GUY'S LIFE,
AND YOU ALWAYS SAY
IT DOESN'T LAST LONG.
SO, WHY SHOULD I
WASTE IT WORKING?
KILLING MYSELF FOR
ONE MEASLY BUCK?
I DON'T GET WHAT
YOU'RE DRIVING AT.
YOU WANT TWO MEASLY
BUCKS? [canned laughter]
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST...
WELL, I... I JUST DON'T WANT
TO FRITTER MY LIFE AWAY.
OH.
AND THE TIME YOU SPEND WORKING,
YOU FEEL THAT'S, UH, FRITTERED?
SURE. HMM.
WELL, LOOK AT ERNIE WINKLER.
NOW, HE'S GOT THE DEAL.
HE DOESN'T DO ANY
WORK. NO WORK AT ALL.
AND HIS DAD GIVES
HIM 10 BUCKS A WEEK.
OH, I SEE.
NOW, WHY CAN'T I
GET A DEAL LIKE THAT?
YOU WANT ME TO
JUST HAND YOU $10?
WHY NOT?
BUD, IT JUST DOESN'T
WORK THAT WAY.
WHY NOT? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T.
I... IT'S, UH, ONE OF THE
FIRST LAWS OF NATURE.
YOU... YOU...
YOU CAN'T GET
SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.
WELL, ERNIE WINKLER DOES.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT
ERNIE WINKLER.
HIS FATHER WANTS
TO DOLE OUT MONEY
AND TURN HIS SON INTO A
LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING,
THAT'S HIS BUSINESS.
JUST DON'T EXPECT ME TO DO IT.
YOU MEAN THE ANSWER IS NO?
OF COURSE, THE ANSWER IS NO.
YOU WANT MONEY? YOU JUST...
WORK FOR IT LIKE
ANYONE ELSE. DAD.
I SUGGEST YOU GO DOWN
AND FINISH MOWING THAT LAWN.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
WELL, BIG CHIEF THUNDERCLOUD,
WHAT GOES WITH YOU?
NEVER MIND.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH BUD?
OH, NOTHING, WE JUST HAD A
SLIGHT DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
WHERE'RE YOU OFF TO?
OH, I... I HAVE A
DATE. [chuckles]
SEE YOU LATER.
[door slams shut]
A DATE?
2 O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON?
SHE'S BABYSITTING
OVER AT THE LEWISES.
OH, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU
BUT SHE'S EARNING MONEY TO
BUY YOU A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
OH.
QUITE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR
KIDS RIGHT AT THE MOMENT.
BUD'S MADDER THAN A WET HEN
BECAUSE I WON'T GIVE HIM
$10 A WEEK FOR DOING NOTHING.
OH, SO THAT'S WHAT
WAS ON HIS MIND.
HMM?
DON'T COME IN! DON'T COME IN!
CLOSE YOUR EYES, DADDY.
[canned laughter]
WHAT AM I, UH, NOT
SUPPOSED TO SEE?
I'M MAKING YOU A... [gasps]
NOT GONNA TELL.
THAT'S WHY YOU GOTTA
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
[paper crinkling]
OKAY, NOW, YOU CAN LOOK.
[fading footsteps]
BIG PREPARATIONS
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
YEAH.
WHERE DID BUD GET
THIS $10-A-WEEK IDEA?
OH, SOME KID HE KNOWS
IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
THIS ARRANGEMENT.
NOTHING TO DO BUT SPEND
MONEY AND HAVE A BIG TIME.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN TO A
BOY THAT THIS IS NO GOOD?
YOU MUST EXPLAIN
IT TO HIM SOMEHOW.
HE'S OUT MOWING THE LAWN AGAIN.
[canned laughter]
SORT OF.
I DIDN'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.
I ORDERED HIM BACK TO
WORK. THAT WAS THE EASY WAY.
BUT THE WHOLE IDEA
WAS SO FANTASTIC THAT I...
WELL, IT CAUGHT ME
OFF BALANCE, THAT'S ALL.
I JUST DIDN'T HAVE
A SENSIBLE ANSWER.
HOW DO YOU
CONVINCE A BOY HIS AGE
THAT "ALL MONEY AND NO WORK"...
ISN'T AS ROSY AS IT SOUNDS?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THERE ARE TIMES AFTER
I'VE HAD A HARD DAY
WHEN YOU'D EVEN HAVE
TROUBLE CONVINCING ME.
[canned laughter]
I THINK I HAVE THE
BEGINNING OF A SNEAKY IDEA.
[whirring]
IT'S PRETTY CRUEL, BUT
IT MAY BE THE ANSWER.
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE WOULD HAPPEN
IF I WENT ALONG WITH
THIS IDEA OF BUD'S?
OH, I WOULDN'T MAKE ANY BETS.
YOU COULD LOSE YOUR SHIRT.
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
IN FACT, I HAVE 6,000 YEARS
OF EXPERIENCE TO BACK ME UP.
[canned laughter]
BUD!
[whirring]
BUD! YEAH?
OH, COME IN HERE
A MINUTE, WILL YOU?
WHAT DID I DO?
NOTHING. I JUST
WANNA TALK TO YOU.
WHAT ABOUT?
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
THAT MONEY PROBLEM OF YOURS.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE $10 A WEEK.
NO KIDDING.
W... WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
[canned laughter] NOTHING.
IN FACT, THAT'S ONE OF
THE CONDITIONS OF THE DEAL.
YOU'RE NOT TO DO
ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE.
YOU REALLY MEAN THIS NOW?
IT'S NOT JUST A GAG? NO GAG.
THERE YOU ARE.
[money rustling]
[canned laughter]
THERE'S YOUR $10 FOR THIS WEEK.
[canned laughter]
HMM.
OH, UM... THERE IS
ONE OTHER CONDITION.
OH, I KNEW THERE HAD
TO BE A CATCH TO IT.
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
THERE'S NO CATCH.
BUT YOU MUST MAKE
A SOLEMN PROMISE.
YOU ARE TO BE HONOR BOUND
TO SPEND THIS MONEY
ONLY ON YOURSELF.
OH, SURE. [chuckles]
A GUY COULDN'T ASK FOR A
BETTER PROMISE THAN THAT.
REMEMBER THIS MONEY AND
WHATEVER YOU BUY WITH IT
IS ONLY FOR YOURSELF.
NOW, YOU BREAK THAT
RULE AND THE DEAL IS OFF.
YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK.
WELL, I... I PROMISE. I PROMISE.
YOU'RE SURE THERE'S
NO OTHER CATCH TO THIS?
[canned laughter]
NO, THAT'S ALL.
THE MONEY IS YOURS
NOW. GO OUT AND LIVE IT UP.
GEE, I... WELL,
THIS IS GREAT, DAD.
THANKS. IT'S OKAY
IF I TELL FRED?
SURE.
OH, BUD, UH, JUST
ONE MORE THING.
WHAT IS IT?
WHEN YOU GET OUT
TO THE FRONT YARD,
WILL YOU DO ME A BIG FAVOR?
[sighs]
MOVE THE HAND OF THE LAWNMOWER,
SO IT DOESN'T BLOCK THE WALK.
[canned laughter]
SURE.
[door opens]
I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
WELL, I'LL ADMIT I'M
TAKING A CHANCE.
BUT IF I'M RIGHT, THIS IS A
LESSON HE'LL NEVER FORGET.
IF YOU'RE WRONG,
YOU MAY BE SUPPORTING HIM
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
[canned laughter]
OKAY. YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, HUH?
THERE YOU ARE, 10 BUCKS.
MAN, I NEVER HEARD
ANYTHING LIKE IT.
WHAT A DEAL!
HEY, WE KNOW A GUY WITH MONEY,
OL'MILLIONAIRE BUD.
YEAH, OL'MONEY BAGS ANDERSON.
DON'T FORGET, BUD,
WE KNEW YOU WHEN.
OKAY, LET'S NOT OVERDO IT.
WELL, LADS, WHAT
CAN I DO FOR YOU?
YOU BOYS BUYING OR JUST LOOKING?
WE'RE BUYING.
MR. BIGELOW, OUR FRIEND
HERE JUST HIT THE JACKPOT.
YOU DON'T SAY.
HE'S LOADED.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BUY?
I THINK I LIKE ONE OF THOSE HAT.
[toy gun buzzes] OKAY.
HERE'S ONE OUGHT
TO BE ABOUT YOUR SIZE.
HOW ABOUT THAT, YOU GUYS?
NEAT, MAN, I SURE
WISH I HAD ONE.
ME, TOO.
I HAD ONE, BUT THE
DARN DOG CHEWED IT UP.
[canned laughter]
ANYTHING ELSE?
I THINK I'LL HAVE A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES.
HERE.
I CAN ALWAYS USE A
PAIR OF SUNGLASSES.
HEY, BUY ONE OF THESE.
AN EGG BEATER?
THEY'RE ONLY A QUARTER.
I THINK I'LL HAVE A CANE, TOO,
THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD.
HEY, HOW ABOUT SOME CANDY?
LET'S GET SOME JAW BREAKERS.
GET SOME
CHOCOLATE-COVERED PEANUTS!
HMM, WELL...
I THINK I'LL HAVE, UH,
SOME OF THOSE MINTS,
AND, UH, SOME OF THOSE
ORANGE SLICES, TOO.
THERE YOU ARE.
THAT'S $4.60 ALTOGETHER.
$4.60. $4.60 OUT OF $5.00.
[cash register rings up]
[canned laughter]
THERE YOU ARE.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
HOW ABOUT SPREADING
THE CANDY AROUND,
BOY, WE'RE WAITING.
YEAH, HOW ABOUT IT?
WELL, I CAN'T GIVE YOU GUYS ANY.
I PROMISED MY DAD.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
N-NOT EVEN ONE PIECE?
WELL, I-I CAN'T DO IT.
IT'S PART OF THE DEAL.
I-I HAD TO PROMISE THAT
I WOULDN'T BUY ANYTHING
FOR ANYBODY OR GIVE
ANY OF THE STUFF AWAY.
IF I DO, I'LL LOSE THE 10 BUCKS,
AND I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK.
[car horn honks]
HONEST, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
OKAY, BIG SPORT.
[canned laughter]
WAIT.
WELL, IT WAS PART OF THE DEAL.
I CAN'T HELP IT IF
I MADE A PROMISE.
HEY, FRED, WHY DON'T YOU AND ME
GO TO THE MOVIE TONIGHT?
IT'S A GOOD SHOW ON.
OKAY, THAT'S A DEAL.
SURE, GOOD DEAL.
SEE YOU TONIGHT.
YEAH, 7:30, IN
FRONT OF THE SHOW.
GOOD DEAL, 7:30, SEE YOU.
YEAH, SEE YOU.
[comic music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[door clicks open]
HI, WHERE'S FATHER?
UPSTAIRS, WHY?
OH, WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE
BIRTHDAY PRESENT I BOUGHT HIM.
MRS. LOUIS PAID ME $3.
I JUST GOT IT AT
THE JEWELRY STORE
BEFORE IT CLOSED. OH, DID
YOU SEE BUD ANYWHERE?
NO, I GOT FATHER THE
MOST BEAUTIFUL PAIR...
FATHER!
OH, WHAT'S WRONG?
AM I IN A RESTRICTED AREA?
[canned laughter]
[knocks]
[door shuts]
[canned laughter]
WHAT DO YOU HEAR FROM THE...
[canned laughter]
HOW'S THE NEW DEAL?
GREAT, DAD, JUST GREAT.
BUDDY, GO EASY ON THAT CANDY.
DINNER'S ALMOST READY.
OH, I THOUGHT I WON'T
BE HERE FOR DINNER, MOM.
ME AND FREDDIE
ARE GOING TO A SHOW
AND I GOTTA LEAVE PRETTY SOON.
WHAT GOES WITH HIM?
WHAT DO YOU GOT, BUD?
NOTHIN' YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN.
GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF IT!
OKAY, STINGY!
OOH, WHAT'S THIS FOR?
DON'T HANDLE THE MERCHANDISE.
[canned laughter] FORGIVE
ME, OH, EMPEROR.
A THOUSAND PARDONS,
YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.
I SHALL GO FORTH AND
EXECUTE MYSELF IMMEDIATELY.
YEAH, YOU DO THAT.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
JIM, DON'T YOU THINK
YOU OUGHTA PUT A STOP
TO THE SPENDING SPREE?
LOOK AT HIM IN THERE.
WHY, IT'S DISGUSTING!
IT'S A PERFECTLY NORMAL
REACTION FOR A BOY.
OH.
NOW, LEAVE HIM ALONE.
HE'S DOING FINE.
FATHER, WHAT HAVE
YOU DONE TO BUD?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
WELL, THE CRAZY WAY HE'S ACTING,
SOMEBODY'S DONE SOMETHING.
AND I KNOW IT WASN'T MOTHER.
[canned laughter]
NOW, YOU JUST LEAVE BUD ALONE.
HE'S GOING THROUGH A
PERFECTLY HARMLESS PERIOD
OF MENTAL DEVELOPMENT.
DEVELOPMENT?
YOU CALL THAT DEVELOPMENT?
LYING IN THERE WITH
THAT RIDICULOUS HAT ON,
STUFFING HIMSELF WITH CANDY,
ACTING LIKE A LITTLE TIN GOD.
WHERE DID HE GET ALL THE
MONEY HE'S THROWING AROUND?
[canned laughter]
AREN'T YOU AT ALL CONCERNED?
THERE'S NOTHING TO
BE CONCERNED ABOUT.
I GAVE BUD THE MONEY
AND HE DID WHAT EXACTLY
AS I HOPED HE WOULD,
BOUGHT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
SO, NOW, HE HAS ALL THE
JUNK, HE'S STUFFED WITH CANDY,
AND HE'S PROBABLY
REALIZING RIGHT THIS MINUTE
THAT HIS MONEY ISN'T BUYING
ALL HE THOUGHT IT WOULD.
OH, BUD HEARD ABOUT A BOY
WHOSE PARENTS
GAVE HIM $10 A WEEK
AND HE DIDN'T HAVE
TO DO ANY WORK.
SO THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED.
OF ALL THE UTTERLY INSANE IDEAS.
AND YOU GAVE IT TO HIM?
YES, I GAVE IT TO HIM.
AND DON'T LOOK AT ME
AS IF I'D LOST MY SENSES.
THIS IS THE BEST
CURE IN THE WORLD.
AND THE QUICKEST.
IN FACT, IT'S WORKING A LOT
QUICKER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
YOU SAW HIM WHEN HE CAME IN.
DID YOU SEE ANY JOY?
ANY ELATION?
HE'S HAD IT.
THE GLITTER'S GONE.
THE BUBBLE'S BURST.
I'LL BET YOU 10 TO 1, HE'S SICK
OF THE WHOLE DEAL RIGHT NOW.
HE'S COMPLETELY BACK TO NORMAL.
I GOTTA BE LEAVING
NOW. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
OH, WHAT ABOUT DINNER?
WELL, I'LL GRAB A STEAK OR
SOMETHING AT THE RESTAURANT.
[canned laughter] GRAB A STEAK?
SURE.
I'LL SEE YOU.
BUD!
DON'T FORGET TO WEAR A JACKET.
IT'LL BE COLD WALKING DOWNTOWN.
WELL, I WON'T WALK.
I'LL CATCH A CAB.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
YOU CALL THAT NORMAL?
[canned laughter]
HI.
I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE
FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES.
OH, I'M SORRY.
I HAD DINNER AT THE GOLDEN GRILL
AND THE WAITERS ARE REAL SLOW.
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE.
[canned laughter]
WELL, LET'S GO IN
AND SEE THE SHOW.
OKAY.
ONE PLEASE.
[INDISCERNIBLE]
[canned laughter]
WHERE'S YOUR
TICKET? [canned laughter]
HE GAVE IT TO YOU, DIDN'T HE?
HE GAVE ME ONE TICKET.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GETTING THE TICKETS?
WELL, I GOT MY OWN. I...
YOU ASKED ME TO GO TO THE MOVIE?
YOU MEAN, I GOTTA
BUY MY OWN TICKET?
CLEAR THE DOOR, FELLOWS.
YOU'RE BLOCKING TRAFFIC.
WELL, I TOLD YOU.
I CAN'T BUY IT FOR ANYBODY.
BUT YOU INVITED ME.
I DIDN'T INVITE
YOU, I ASKED YOU.
IT'S THE SAME THING.
REAL FRIEND YOU ARE.
NOTHING BUT A PHONY TIGHTWAD.
BIG MAN!
BIG CHEAPSKATE.
WAIT, FRED.
GO ON!
GO TO THE SHOW, MONEYBAGS!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
CAN I HAVE MY
MONEY BACK FOR THIS?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DIDN'T YOU LIKE THE SHOW?
WELL, IT'S NO FUN GOING ALONE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
[door clicks open]
[door shuts close]
HI, BUD. HI.
HOW WAS THE SHOW?
I DIDN'T GO.
I GUESS I'LL HAVE A MALT,
UH, CHOCOLATE, I GUESS.
[classical music]
♪ ♪
[footsteps approaching]
♪ ♪
WOW, THE OL'MILLIONAIRE.
[canned laughter]
OH, CAN, I [INDISCERNIBLE]
AND FRED SIT DOWN HERE?
MAYBE WE CAN SHINE
YOUR SHOES FOR YOU.
MAYBE YOU'LL EVEN GIVE US A
DIME IF WE SHINE 'EM REAL GOOD.
YEAH.
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[coin clinks]
♪ ♪
[coin clinks]
♪ ♪
YOU'RE SITTING ON MY HAT.
HUH?
OH, I'M DEVASTATED!
[canned laughter]
I'VE SAT ON THIS MAJESTY'S HAT.
OH, HOW PERFECTLY
DREADFUL OF ME.
ALLOW ME TO REPAIR IT.
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
OH, IT'S YOU, THE BIG TYCOON.
CUT IT OUT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOING TO THE MOVIE?
I CHANGED MY MIND.
YOU'RE BROKE ALREADY.
NO, I'M NOT BROKE ALREADY.
OH, WHAT DID YOU GET
FOR FATHER'S BIRTHDAY?
FOR WHAT?
FATHER'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW,
DIDN'T YOU GET HIM ANYTHING?
OH, I FORGOT.
I'LL... I'LL GET HIM SOMETHING.
PRIDEY'S STORE IS STILL OPEN.
I'LL... I'LL GET HIM
SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.
WELL, I SHOULD THINK SO.
You can't buy him a
present with that, remember?
Just for yourself, remember?
HEY, BETTY.
WAIT.
COULD YOU LEND ME
A COUPLE OF BUCKS?
LEND YOU?
ME, LEND YOU A COUPLE OF BUCKS?
[chuckling] THAT'S HYSTERICAL.
YOU'RE THE MILLIONAIRE.
USE YOUR OWN MONEY.
OH, THE NERVE.
[laughs]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[squeaks]
WELL, YOU BACK SO SOON?
WHERE'S DAD?
OUT IN THE GARAGE.
WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM?
NO.
♪ ♪
MOM, I'M... I'M IN A TOUGH SPOT.
TOMORROW IS DAD'S BIRTHDAY
AND... I WANNA GET HIM
SOMETHING REAL GOOD,
BUT I...
BUT YOU WHAT?
WELL, I GOT THE MONEY, $3.20...
BUT IF I'D SPEND IT ON A
PRESENT FOR HIM, WELL, I'M DEAD.
I'D LOSE THE 10 BUCKS A WEEK.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
WELL, I THINK YOU HAVE TO
DECIDE WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT,
YOUR LIFE OF MONEY AND EASE
OR A GIFT FOR YOUR FATHER?
IT HAS TO BE ONE OR THE OTHER.
BUD, I CAN'T HELP YOU.
THIS HAS TO BE YOUR DECISION.
IT'S UP TO YOU.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
WHAT WILL IT BE, SON?
WELL, I'D, UH...
I'D LIKE TO BUY A
WALLET FOR MY DAD...
FOR $3.20.
KITTEN, THAT'S A
REAL WORK OF ART,
A PICTURE OF A GENUINE HORSE.
I PAINTED IT MYSELF.
NOBODY HELPED ME.
I CAN'T THINK OF A
NICER BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
WHERE ARE THE
CUFFLINKS BETTY GAVE YOU?
I'M WEARING THEM. OH.
JUST THE KIND I LIKE.
SHOW THEM BUD'S PRESENT.
OH, THIS IS FROM BUD,
THE EX-MILLIONAIRE.
AND I'D LIKE TO READ YOU THE
LITTLE NOTE THAT HE PUT IN IT.
"DEAR DAD, I HAD TO BUY THIS
WITH WHAT I HAD LEFT OF THE $10,
SO OUR DEAL IS OFF.
"BUT DON'T FEEL BAD
BECAUSE I FEEL GOOD.
"HAVING THE MONEY WAS NO FUN
THE WAY I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
"LIKE YOU SAID, YOU CAN'T
GET SOMETHING FOR NOTHING...
WHICH IS TOO BAD.
[canned laughter]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. BUD."
[laughs]
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, DADDY?
UH...
MAYBE HE FOUND OUT
MONEY IS STRANGE STUFF.
YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE A BARREL OF IT,
BUT IT'S NOT MUCH GOOD
UNLESS YOU WORK FOR IT,
OR YOU CAN SHARE IT WITH OTHERS.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
[laughs]
[canned laughter]
OH HERE, DON'T SPOIL MY PICTURE.
[applause]
[theme music]