Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 24 - Trip to Hillsborough - full transcript

Bud and Kippy want to travel for new experiences and write exciting stories. They want to go to Hillsborough by themselves and stay. Jim and Margaret agree since both boys will be there. Kippy backs out at the last minute

[classical music]

♪ ♪

Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...

AND JANE WYATT...

- [laughter]

- WITH ELINOR DONAHUE,
BILLY GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN

IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.

- SHANGHAI, CITY OF INTRIGUE.

SHANGHAI, MECCA OF HUMANITY,

LAND OF EXCITEMENT
SEETHING WITH LIFE.

LAND OF ENCHANTMENT, LAND
OF... AVERY'S MEAT MARKET.



[canned laughter]

THINK WE'LL EVER
REALLY GO TO SHANGHAI?

- YOU'RE DARN RIGHT,

AND ROME AND PARIS AND
CALCUTTA AND RANGOON,

AND THIS WEEK, HILLSBOROUGH.

- HILLSBOROUGH.

SOMEHOW, IT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE MUCH OF A PLACE

TO START OUR WORLD'S TRAVEL.

- LOOK, WE CAN'T GO TO SHANGHAI
ON A LITTLE FRIDAY NIGHT TRIP.

HERE, LOOK OVER THESE HEADINGS.

IF WE'RE GONNA BE AUTHORS,

WE GOTTA TAKE A LOT
OF NOTES ON OUR TRIPS.

- "EXCITING INCIDENTS ON
A TRIP TO HILLSBOROUGH."

HEY, THAT'S GOOD.



"INTERESTING
PEOPLE MET ON TRIP."

"THINGS LEARNED
ABOUT LIFE ON TRIP."

- WE'LL LEARN PLENTY, TOO.

HEY, MY UNCLE SAID
IT WILL BE OKAY FOR US

TO RIDE UP THERE
ON ONE OF HIS TRUCKS.

WE'LL RIDE WITH OL' BICK NORTON,

HE'S A GOOD DRIVER.

- I JUST HOPE MY
FOLKS WILL LET ME GO.

- OH, THEY GOTTA,
THAT'S THE WHOLE IDEA.

WE'RE GETTING OLD ENOUGH
TO STRIKE OUT FOR OURSELVES.

WE CAN'T GO ON
LIVING SHELTERED LIVES,

CODDLED LIKE A COUPLE
OF SOFT BOILED EGGS.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

- PARENTS ARE
OKAY UP TO A POINT,

BUT WE'RE PAST THAT POINT.

WHEN YOU'RE 45,

DO YOU WANT YOUR MAMA
TO TAKE YOU BY THE HAND,

AND WALK YOU DOWN
TO THE ICE CREAM STORE?

- NOT ME, BOY.

- DID AUTHORS LIKE JACK LONDON

LEARN ABOUT LIFE
HANGING AROUND HOME?

NO, SIR!

LONDON WAS AN OYSTER
PIRATE UP IN ALASKA,

AND HE WENT TO JAIL.

- WELL, I DON'T
WANNA GO TO JAIL.

- MARGARET, I'M HOME.
- WELL, THAT'S MY DAD.

[door closes]

- NOW, LOOK, DON'T ASK
HIM IF YOU CAN GO, TELL HIM.

USE THE "TRAVEL IS
EDUCATION" ANGLE.

- SHH, KNOCK IT
OFF, HE'LL HEAR YOU.

[clears throat]

- HI, DAD.
- HELLO, SON.

- HOW ARE YOU, KIPPY?
- OKAY.

- UH, WE WERE JUST KICKING
AROUND A LITTLE IDEA.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT A
LITTLE TRIP TO HILLSBOROUGH,

TO STAY OVERNIGHT
AT A HOTEL, SORTA?

- KNOCK AROUND TOWN A LITTLE
AND COME BACK SATURDAY NIGHT.

- WELL, THAT MIGHT
WORK OUT JUST FINE.

IT JUST HAPPENS I HAVE A
CLIENT IN HILLSBOROUGH

I OUGHT TO CALL ON.

WHAT TIME DO YOU FIGURE
YOU OUGHT TO GET AWAY?

- OH, WELL, YOU SEE, DAD...

- WELL, NOW, WAIT, I BETTER
CHECK WITH THE WOMEN FOLKS,

AND SEE IF THIS INTERFERES
WITH ANY OF THEIR PLANS,

THEN WE'LL DECIDE, OKAY?

- [laughter]

- LOOK, YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET
'EM GET AWAY WITH THIS, ARE YOU?

WE'VE GOT TO GO ALONE.
THAT'S THE WHOLE IDEA.

GO ON, GO TELL HIM.

- OH, I CAN'T JUST TELL
HIM WE DON'T WANT HIM.

IT'LL HURT HIS FEELINGS.

- LOOK, IT'S NOW OR NEVER.

- HILLSBOROUGH?

THAT DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE MUCH OF A TRIP.

- WELL, IT WAS THE BOYS' IDEA.

THEY'RE AT A RESTLESS
AGE, YOU KNOW,

THEY JUST WANNA GO SOMEWHERE.

[breathes heavily] AH,
THAT SMELLS GOOD.

- WHAT CAN YOU FIND TO DO
THERE FOR A DAY AND A HALF?

BESIDES, I HAVE THIS CLIENT
THERE I OUGHT TO LOOK UP.

- CAN I GO, DADDY?

- NO, KITTEN, THIS
IS JUST FOR US MEN.

- I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MEN.

- [chuckles] YOU WOULD
HAVE AFTER THIS TRIP.

YOU WOULDN'T ENJOY IT.

UH, WILL YOU GET ME THE
PAPER LIKE A GOOD LITTLE KITTEN?

- IF I DO THIS FOR
YOU, CAN I GO?

- NO.
[canned laughter]

- DAD?
- OH, IT'S ALL SET, BUD.

THE SERGEANT HERE HAS
JUST GIVEN US A WEEKEND PASS.

- YEAH, WELL, DAD...

- YES?

- WELL, YOU SEE,
THE MAIN IDEA...

- OH, SAVE IT, BEFORE I FORGET,

I WANNA SEE IF I HAVE
ANY FILM IN THE CAMERA.

I'D LIKE TO GET SOME COLOR
SHOTS ALONG THE RIVER THERE.

THE BIRCHES ARE SO PRETTY
THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.

- IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?

- OH, NO, NOTHING'S THE MATTER.

- ALL RIGHT, WHAT IS IT?

- WELL, IT'S... IT'S NOT THAT DAD
ISN'T A GOOD GUY OR ANYTHING,

BUT YOU SEE, KIPPY
AND I ARE PLANNING

TO MAKE THIS TRIP ALONE.

- ALONE? OVERNIGHT?

WELL, HOW WOULD YOU GET THERE?

WHERE ARE YOU GONNA STAY?

- NOW, WAIT, MOM,
IT'S ALL PLANNED.

AND BESIDES, WE CAN'T GO
ON LIVING SHELTERED LIVES,

CODDLED LIKE A COUPLE
OF SOFT BOILED EGGS.

- CODDLED?

- DO YOU KNOW WHAT JACK
LONDON WAS DOING AT MY AGE?

HE WAS AN OYSTER PIRATE.

- OYSTER PIRATE?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANNA
BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

- NO, A WRITER, AND A WRITER
HAS TO LEARN ABOUT LIFE.

LOOK AT THE EDUCATIONAL
VALUE OF THIS TRIP.

- WELL, SOMEHOW, I DOUBT
THE EDUCATIONAL VALUE

OF A TRIP TO HILLSBOROUGH,
EVEN FOR A WRITER.

- SAY, BUD, I JUST REMEMBERED
A COUPLE OF APPOINTMENTS

THAT'LL KEEP ME HERE SATURDAY.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU BOYS ARE
GONNA HAVE TO GO ALONE.

- YEAH? OH, GEE,
THAT'S TOO BAD, DAD.

- YEAH, BUT I GUESS YOU BOYS

WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE
OUT ALL RIGHT WITHOUT ME.

- DEAR, YOU'RE NOT REALLY
SUGGESTING THEY GO ALONE,

ARE YOU?

- MOM, WE WON'T BE ALONE.
KIPPY AND I ARE BOTH GOING.

THAT'S TWO RIGHT THERE.

- BUT, BUD...
- AND OUR RIDE IS ALL SET.

WE'RE GONNA STAY
AT THE CHRISTY HOTEL.

IT'S GONNA COST
US 4 BUCKS A PIECE,

AND WE'VE ALREADY
GOT THE MONEY SAVED.

- CRISTY. IS THAT A GOOD HOTEL?

- IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S THE
ONLY GOOD ONE THERE.

- IT'S AN EDUCATIONAL TRIP, DAD.

- YES, I KNOW.

- MEET INTERESTING PEOPLE,
LEARN THINGS ABOUT LIFE.

- YES, I UNDERSTAND.

- WELL, CAN I GO?
- YES.

- YIPPEE! IT SURE IS A
SHAME YOU CAN'T GO, DAD.

[canned laughter]

- YEAH, SURE.

- DEAR, DO YOU
THINK THIS IS WISE?

- OH, THEY'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

IT'S HIGH TIME THEY DID A
FEW THINGS ON THEIR OWN

WITHOUT AN OLD
MAN TAGGING ALONG.

- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

DID YOU HEAR BUD TALKING TO ME?

- TALKING? ABOUT WHAT?

NO, I JUST FEEL IT ISN'T GOOD

TO SHELTER A BOY
TOO MUCH, CODDLE HIM.

- OH. SO YOU DID HEAR.

- WELL, I COULDN'T
HELP HEARING A LITTLE,

BUT I WASN'T LISTENING.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I THINK THAT YOU'RE FEELING
SORRY FOR YOURSELF.

- NO. NO.

I... I UNDERSTAND THEY
WANT TO TRY THEIR WINGS,

BE ON THEIR OWN.

AFTER ALL, THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH
TO TAKE THE TRIP BY THEMSELVES.

- OH, I KNOW THAT,

BUT I JUST WISH THEY
WERE GOING TO A CAMP

OR SOME PLACE DEFINITE.

IT'S THIS IDEA OF KNOCKING
AROUND THAT WORRIES ME.

THAT'S WHEN BOYS
GET INTO TROUBLE.

- SURE.

BUT I KNOW THE MANAGER AT
THE CHRISTY HOTEL... SLIGHTLY.

I PLAN TO CALL HIM AND ASK
HIM TO KEEP AN EYE ON THE BOYS,

BUT WITHOUT THEIR
KNOWING ABOUT IT.

- WELL, THAT'LL HELP.

- AND AS FOR MY FEELING
SORRY FOR MYSELF...

- HI.
- HELLO, PRINCESS.

I HOPE I'M INTELLIGENT
ENOUGH TO KNOW

THAT THIS TIME WAS
COMING SOONER OR LATER.

BOY HAS TO GROW UP.

NATURALLY, HE DOESN'T WANT AN...

OLD MAN...

TAGGING ALONG.

[canned laughter]

- W... WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH HIM?

- OH, HE'S... HE'S
JUST BEEN JILTED.

[canned laughter]

- THAT'S RIGHT, JUST, UH,
SORT OF KEEP AN EYE ON THEM,

KEEP 'EM OUT OF TROUBLE.

BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T
LET THEM KNOW THAT I CALLED.

[laughs] THAT'S RIGHT.

NO, THEY'LL BE
STAYING AT YOUR HOTEL

JUST THE ONE NIGHT.

WELL, FINE. I APPRECIATE
THIS VERY MUCH.

GOODBYE. WELL, IT'S ALL SET.

- ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANNA TALK TO THEM OUT OF THIS?

- OH, HONEY, THEY'LL
BE JUST AS SAFE AS...

- OH, ALL SET, SON.
- YEAH.

WHAT'S THE CHANCE OF GETTING
A RIDE DOWN THE WAREHOUSE?

- SURE.
- WAREHOUSE?

- YEAH, THAT'S WHERE
WE BOARD THE TRUCK.

- I'M GONNA MEET KIPPY THERE.
- LET ME SEE WHAT YOU PACKED.

- OH, MOM.

- WELL, DID YOU PUT IN YOUR
ROBE AND YOUR SLIPPERS?

- ROBE AND... MOM, WE'RE NOT
GOING TO A SLUMBER PARTY.

- OKAY, LET'S GO.

- WELL, GOODBYE, MOM.

- UM, TAKE GOOD
CARE OF YOURSELF.

AND... AND DON'T
SLEEP IN A DRAFT.

- OH, AND IF IT RAINS...
- IT WON'T RAIN.

COME ON, DAD. SO LONG, MOM.

- IS THIS THE TRUCK YOU
AND KIPPY ARE RIDING IN?

HEY, THERE'S NO ROOM
FOR YOU KIDS UP HERE.

I GUESS THEY WEREN'T KIDDING
WHEN THEY SAID, "NO RIDERS".

- [laughing]
- WE'RE GONNA RIDE IN BACK.

- OH.
- YOU CAN GO NOW, DAD.

THANKS A LOT FOR
DRIVING ME DOWN. SO LONG.

- WELL, WAIT. I WANNA
MEET YOUR DRIVER, THE...

- DAD, I... I DON'T WANT
ANYBODY TO THINK

THAT MY DAD HAS TO SEE ME OFF

LIKE A LITTLE KID GOING
TO CAMP OR SOMETHING.

- OH.

OH, I SEE. WELL, SURE.

[chuckles] TAKE
CARE OF YOURSELF.

- SO LONG.
- SO LONG, DAD.

- WATCH OUT, KID, WATCH OUT.

YOU COULD LOSE AN ARM OR A LEG
HANGING AROUND HERE, YOU KNOW.

- EXCUSE ME, ARE...
ARE YOU BICK NORTON?

- YEAH.
- WELL, I'M BUD ANDERSON.

- IS OL' KIP HERE YET?
- WHO?

- KIPPY, THE BOSS' NEPHEW.

- NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

BUT I GOT A LITTLE NEWS FOR YOU.

WE CAN'T WAIT AROUND
HERE MUCH LONGER.

I GOTTA GET THIS
MONSTER ON THE ROAD.

- OH, DON'T WORRY,
HE'LL BE HERE.

- WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
GONNA DO IN HILLSBOROUGH?

- OH, YOU KNOW, KNOCK
AROUND, SEE THE TOWN.

SEE, WE'RE GONNA BE
AUTHORS SOMEDAY AND...

- YEAH, WELL, CLIMB IN, KID.

WE GOTTA SHOVE.

- HEY, WAIT, KIPPY'S
NOT HERE YET!

- WE CAN'T WAIT...
WAIT MUCH LONGER.

I GOTTA MEET MY SCHEDULE.

- BICK!

YOU HAD A CALL FROM
THE KID, THE BOSS' NEPHEW.

- HE CAN'T MAKE THE TRIP.
- OKAY.

- SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT, WALT.
- OKAY.

I GUESS THIS WILL CHANGE
YOUR PLANS, HUH, KID?

- NO. NO, SIR.

[canned laughter]

- REMEMBER NOW, MEET
ME HERE TOMORROW NIGHT,

RIGHT ON THIS CORNER AT 5:30?

SEE? DON'T BE LATE.

- YEAH, I'LL BE HERE.

- HEY!

IS THIS YOURS?

"INTERESTING
PEOPLE MET ON TRIPS."

- YEAH, THANKS.

[canned laughter]

OH, SAY, WAIT!

WHERE'S THE CRISTY
HOTEL FROM HERE?

- THE CRISTY? UH...

IT'S ABOUT THREE
BLOCKS DOWN THAT WAY.

SAY, YOU AIN'T GONNA
STAY THERE, ARE YOU?

- OH, SURE, WHY NOT?

- WELL, THEY'LL GOUGE
YOU FOR A ROOM.

- WELL, I GOT MONEY, 9 BUCKS.

- YEAH, BUT WHY BLOW
IT ALL ON A ROOM?

YOU WON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT
TO KNOCK AROUND TOWN WITH?

- YEAH, BUT I PLAN
ON STAYING THERE.

- LOOK, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT.

BUT IF IT WAS ME, I'D PUT
UP AT THE LONDON HOUSE.

- THE LONDON HOUSE?

IS THAT GOOD?

- WELL, IT'S CLEAN,

AND YOU CAN GET A NICE ROOM
THERE FOR A BUCK AND A HALF.

AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE CASH
LEFT TO CASE THE TOWN ON.

- W... WOULD A GUY MEET
INTERESTING PEOPLE THERE?

- WELL, I'LL SAY THIS,

YOU'LL MEET PEOPLE YOU'LL
NEVER MEET AT THE CRISTY.

THEY'RE PRETTY STUFFY
AT THE CRISTY HOTEL.

- YEAH? WELL, WHERE
IS THE LONDON HOUSE?

- IT'S ABOUT, UH, HALF A
BLOCK DOWN THAT WAY.

BUT LOOK, KID, YOU
DO WHAT YOU WANT.

REMEMBER, KID, SEE YOU
TOMORROW NIGHT, 5:30.

- OKAY. SO LONG, BICK!

[comical music]

♪ ♪

[canned laughter]

♪ ♪

WHAT AN INTERESTING
CHARACTER TO WRITE ABOUT.

I SURE CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.

[canned laughter]

- WELL, HOWDY, MR. KIPNER?

LONG TIME, NO SEE.

- YUP! BEEN OUT IN THE STICKS
TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK OR TWO.

HA, AIN'T EASY THESE DAYS.

WHAT I NEED NOW IS A PLACE
TO LAY THE OLD BONES DOWN.

- WELL, THAT'S THE WAY SHE GOES.

[chuckles] ONE TWELVE,
SAME OLD ROOM.

- GOOD.

- WELL, WHAT IS IT?

- OH, UH...

I... I NEED A PLACE TO
LAY MY OLD BONES DOWN.

[canned laughter]

- YOU GOT ANY MONEY?

- OH, SURE, SURE, I HAVE.

- WELL, UH, HOW LONG
ARE YOU GONNA STAY?

- WELL, JUST TONIGHT,
ONE NIGHT IS ALL.

- THAT WILL BE
$1.50, IN ADVANCE.

- UH, I GUESS YOU GET A LOT OF
INTERESTING PEOPLE HERE, HUH?

- CHECK OUT TIME'S 3 O'CLOCK.

[canned laughter]

- WELL, WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO
MEET SOME OF THESE INTEREST...

- YOUR ROOM'S ON
THE THIRD FLOOR.

THE ELEVATOR IS
RIGHT OVER THERE.

IF IT'S STUCK, UH,
USE THE STAIRS.

[canned laughter]

[comical music]

♪ ♪

- FARM QUARTERLY.
[laughs]

I COULD JUST SEE MYSELF
SITTING AROUND READING THAT.

♪ ♪

[canned laughter]

THE FIRST MAN I SAW... NO,
THE FIRST MAN I ENCOUNTERED

WAS A GENUINE SPY.

HE WAS DISGUISED IN A
DARK, VERY SINISTER BEARD,

AND A BLACK HAMBURGER HAT.

[canned laughter]

I CAN TELL BY THE SNEAKY
WAY HE LOOKED AROUND.

HE WAS AFRAID THE
FBI WAS CLOSING IN.

[canned laughter]

TAKING MY LIFE IN MY HANDS,

I MOVE CLOSER TO
GET A CLOSER LEAD

ON HIS OPERATIONS.

- ALL RIGHT, BENNY,
HIT THE ROAD.

I SAID YOU CAN READ THE PAPER,

BUT I TOLD YOU NOT
TO BRING ANY FOOD IN.

GO ON, GET OUT.

- I'M GOING, I'M GOING.

[canned laughter]

[door shuts close]

[canned laughter]

- NOW, I KNOW I'VE
SEEN YOU, DON'T TELL ME.

YOU'RE VERN SLADE'S
BOY FROM BUFORD CITY.

- NO, MA'AM.

- YOU'RE NOT?

EMMA, LOOK. [canned laughter]

ISN'T HE THE SPITTING
IMAGE OF VERN'S BOY?

- WELL, NOT PARTICULARLY.

[canned laughter]

- I'M BUD ANDERSON
FROM SPRINGFIELD.

- SPRINGFIELD?

MY STARS AND GARTERS!

EMMA, HE'S FROM SPRINGFIELD.

WELL, YOU MUST KNOW OUR
RELATIONS, THE SHIPPERMANS.

WHAT A SMALL WORLD.

OH YOU MUST SEE THE SNAPSHOTS
THE SHIPPERMANS SENT US.

IMAGINE BUMPING INTO SOMEONE
WHO KNOWS OUR RELATI...

EMMA, I CAN'T FIND
THE SNAPSHOTS.

- I'VE GOT THEM.
[canned laughter]

- OH. OH, YES.

- UH, THIS IS FRED AND HARLEY.

- THIS IS FRED AND HARLEY

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE TWINS,
BUT THEY SURE DON'T LOOK ALIKE.

ONLY FRED DOES.

[canned laughter]

- OH, THIS IS GLORIA
AT JIMSON BEACH.

- THIS IS GLORIA
AT JIMSON BEACH.

CERTAINLY A DAINTY LOOKING ONE

JUST 16 AND ALREADY SHE'S
WON A BATHING BEAUTY CONTEST.

WHY, THAT'S THE FAVORITE
SUIT SHE WON IT IN.

- THIS IS THE COURTHOUSE.

- THE COURTHOUSE.

[canned laughter]

YES, SIR, THIS ONE
SURE IS A LOOKER.

NO TWO WAYS ABOUT THAT. OH!

- MRS. BAUMANN, YOUR PHONE
CALL FROM BUFORD CITY IS HERE.

- OH, MY STARS, EMMA!

THERE'S OUR CALL.

- COME ON, COME ON.
- OH, OH, JUST A MINUTE.

THE PICTURE OF THE COURTHOUSE.

- OH, YES, NICE.

WE HAVE ONE JUST LIKE IT.

[canned laughter]

- HONEY, STOP
LOOKING SO WORRIED.

THE BOYS ARE ALL RIGHT.

- I'M SURE THEY ARE.

BUT I CAN'T HELP FEELING
THAT SOMETHING'S WRONG.

MAYBE HE'S HUNGRY.

- HE HAS MONEY.

AND IF HE'S SHORT, THE MANAGER
AT THE HOTEL WILL HELP HIM OUT.

HE ASSURED ME OVER THE
PHONE HE'D WATCH OUT FOR THEM.

- I SUPPOSE SO.

I WONDER IF HE
BRUSHED HIS TEETH.

[canned laughter]
- [laughs]

HONEY, HE'S PRACTICALLY
A GROWN MAN.

NOW, STOP WORRYING.

- ALL RIGHT.

[sighs] GOOD NIGHT, DEAR.

- GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.

- DO YOU THINK WE
BETTER CALL THEM

JUST TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT?

- LOOK, HONEY,

I'M JUST AS ANXIOUS TO
TALK TO HIM AS YOU ARE,

BUT HE'D KNOW WE WERE
CHECKING UP ON HIM, SNOOPING.

IT'S THE VERY THING HE
DOESN'T WANT RIGHT NOW.

IT WOULD UNDERMINE HIM

AND THROW A WET BLANKET
ON THE BIG TIME HE'S HAVING.

[canned laughter]
- BIG TIME, DOING WHAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.
[chuckles]

I'LL ADMIT IF I HAD
THIS TO DO OVER,

I MIGHT HAVE ACTED DIFFERENTLY.

BUT I'M SURE THE
BOYS ARE ALL RIGHT.

THE MANAGER AT THE HOTEL
WILL LOOK OUT FOR THEM.

THERE'LL BE HOME TOMORROW NIGHT.

BESIDES, OUR LITTLE BOY IS
GROWING UP, ISN'T THAT TRUE?

- YES.

I JUST WISH THAT HE DIDN'T
HAVE TO DO IT THIS WEEK.

[canned laughter]
- [laughs]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[knocking]

- COME IN.

- GOOD MORNING, MRS. ANDERSON.

IS OL' BUD UP YET OR IS
HE'S STILL IN THE SACK?

- WELL, NO, HE WENT TO
HILLSBOROUGH LAST NIGHT

WITH KIP...

KIPPY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- YOU MEAN, BUD ACTUALLY WENT?

- WHY, YES, YES, HE WENT.

- BUT... BUT YOU, DIDN'T YOU?

- NO, I COULDN'T GO.
MY FOLKS WOULDN'T...

- DEAR, HE IS THERE ALONE.

BUD'S IN HILLSBOROUGH ALONE.

- OH, THAT'S NOT SO AWFUL.

HE'S BEEN ALONE BEFORE.

BESIDES THE MANAGER
AT THE CHRISTY HOTEL...

- OH, CALL HIM RIGHT AWAY,
DEAR. CALL THE HOTEL.

- ALL RIGHT, I INTEND TO.
- WELL, HURRY.

- NOW, DON'T GET SO EXCITED.

- OH, DEAR, HE'S ALL ALONE.

HE'S PROBABLY HALF SICK.

HE'S HUNGRY.

[canned laughter]

- I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO A, UH,
JAMES ANDERSON, JR., PLEASE.

- OH, WHAT'S WRONG?

- WHY DOES EVERYONE LOOK SO...
- SHH.

- OH, WELL, MAYBE HE'S
REGISTERED AS BUD ANDERSON.

I KNOW HE'S THERE. HE
CHECKED IN LAST NIGHT.

- HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENED?
- SHH.

- WELL, LOOK, UH...
UH, HE WAS PLANNING...

OH, WHAT OTHER HOTELS
ARE THERE IN HILLSBOROUGH?

THE... THE LONDON
HOUSE? UH, THANK YOU.

- HE'S NOT THERE?
- NO.

HELLO, OPERATOR, I WANNA PUT IN
ANOTHER CALL TO HILLSBOROUGH.

THIS ONE TO THE LONDON
HOUSE. THANK YOU.

- I'D LOVE TO KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON.

- OH, I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE
THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

IF ONLY YOU HAVEN'T FELT
SO SORRY FOR YOURSELF,

- AND FORCED HIM TO GO ALONE.
- I DIDN'T FORCE... HELLO?

DO YOU HAVE A BUD ANDERSON

OR A JAMES ANDERSON,
JR. REGISTERED THERE?

YOU DO?

YES, RING HIS ROOM, PLEASE.

HE'S THERE. [laughs]

[phone ringing]

HE... HE DOESN'T ANSWER?

WELL, HE HASN'T
CHECKED OUT, HAS HE?

WELL, LOOK, WHEN HE COMES BACK,

HAVE HIM CALL HIS
PARENTS RIGHT AWAY.

- COLLECT. OH, NO.
- OKAY. NO?

TELL HIM WE'LL
DRIVE UP AND GET HIM.

- OH, NO, HONEY, HONEY...

- TELL BUD STAY RIGHT
THERE AND WE'LL PICK HIM UP.

TELL HIM NOT TO GO AWAY.

- THAT'S RIGHT. THANK YOU.
- BUT, MARGARET...

- NOW, THIS IS THE
ONLY THING TO DO.

NOW, COME ON,
LET'S HIT THE ROAD.

[canned laughter]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

- SAY, WHAT CAN A GUY DO IN
THIS TOWN TILL 5:30 TONIGHT?

I'VE WALKED AROUND
IT TWICE ALL...

HEY, HELLO?

- [snoring]

[canned laughter]

- WHAT A TOWN.

[comical music]

♪ ♪

- HELLO, I'M MR. ANDERSON.

I CALLED YOU FROM SPRINGFIELD
A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO

ABOUT MY SON?

- OH, OH, YEAH, YEAH.

WELL, THE BOY NEVER CAME BACK.

- HMM?
- SEE?

HERE'S THE NOTE I
WROTE OUT FOR HIM.

HE... HE MUST HAVE LEFT
EARLY THIS MORNING.

- BUT WHY WOULD HE...?

BUT WHERE... WHERE WOULD HE...?

UH, ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

- OH, CERTAINLY.

I-I KEPT A SHARP
LOOKOUT FOR HIM.

NO... NOBODY EVER GETS BY
THIS DESK WITHOUT MY SEEING.

- OH, WELL, WHAT ABOUT
HIS BILL, DID HE PAY THAT?

- OH. OH, YEAH, HE PAID THAT
LAST NIGHT BEFORE HE CHECKED IN.

- BUT WHAT ABOUT HIS ROOM KEY?

UH, DIDN'T... DIDN'T
HE TURN THAT IN?

- OH, PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS
POCKETING OUR KEYS.

SOMETIMES THEY SEND THEM
BACK, SOMETIMES THEY DON'T.

- OH, LOOK, DID HE HAVE HIS
SUITCASE WITH HIM WHEN HE LEFT?

OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T
SEE HIM LEAVE?

WELL...

THANKS ANYWAY.

- SORRY.

♪ ♪

- DAD!

DAD! DAD!

[canned laughter]

NO.

NO.

- AND GO RIGHT BACK
TO HIS HOTEL ROOM

AND SEE IF HIS
SUITCASE IS THERE.

- YEAH, I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT
OF THAT WHILE I WAS THERE.

- AND DON'T TAKE ANYBODY'S
WORD FOR ANYTHING.

SEE FOR YOURSELF.

- [clicks tongue]

[sighs]

[knocking on the door]

COME IN.

- DAD?
- HELLO, SON.

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- SURE.

UH, I'M FINE. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- OH, WELL, I...

I JUST HAPPEN TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

AND I... I THOUGHT I DROP BY
AND SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING.

- WELL, IT'S GOING SWELL, GREAT.

[canned laughter]

NO, IT ISN'T, DAD.

IT'S MISERABLE.

WHAT AN AWFUL TRIP.

BOY, I WAS GONNA LEARN
ALL THAT GREAT STUFF,

SO I CAN WRITE ABOUT IT SOMEDAY.

WELL, I DIDN'T LEARN NOTHING.

- WELL, SON, MAYBE YOU
LEARNED MORE THAN YOU KNOW.

WELL, GET YOUR THINGS
AND WE'LL GO HOME.

THE FAMILY'S OUT IN THE CAR.

- BOY, I'M READY TO GO.

OH, I... I CAN'T.

I'VE GOT TO WAIT HERE UNTIL
5:30 TO RIDE BACK WITH BICK.

HE'S EXPECTING ME.

- WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT THERE,
HE'LL KNOW YOU'VE GONE,

WON'T HE?

- OH, NO, NOT BICK. HE'LL
LOOK ALL OVER TOWN FOR ME.

HE'S DEPENDING ON ME TO BE
RIGHT THERE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

- I SEE.

- I SHOULD... I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW.

- WELL, IF BICK IS
DEPENDING ON YOU

AND YOU GAVE HIM YOUR PROMISE,

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
FOR YOU TO DO, SON,

AND THAT'S... WAIT HERE
AND RIDE BACK WITH HIM.

- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

- WELL, COME ON,
YOU BETTER GO OUT

AND EXPLAIN THIS TO YOUR MOTHER.

[comical music]

[canned laughter]

- HOW ARE YOU DOING, BUD?
- FINE, BICK.

- SURE NICE TO HAVE COMPANY
ALONG FOR THE TRIP, KID.

- IT SURE IS.

[canned laughter]

[applause]

[theme music]