Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 19 - Brief Holiday - full transcript

Margaret gets tired of all the housework and demands of the children, expecting her to do their every whim. She decides to take a day off and go into town. She browses the stores and has her picture drawn by a street artist.

♪♪ [theme]

[man] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt,

[chuckling]

with Elinor Donahue, Billy
Gray, and Laurin Chapin,

in...

I don't know what
else to do with it.

First you said it was too
short, so I lengthened it,

and then you said it was
too long, so I shortened it.

Exactly what's
wrong with it now?

Well, now it's...



now it's too medium.

Maybe it's just
the way it hangs.

Oh, you can fix it.
See you after school.

You want some more hotcakes?
No, thanks. I've had plenty.

Oh, bye, Daddy. Bye.

Now, remember,
Mommy... Remember what?

Oh, you know.
No, I'm afraid I...

Oh, yes. I know: Feed your frog.

And don't just give him
bread or stuff like that.

He's very particular
what he eats.

Give him some bugs, some
flies, and nice, juicy insects.

Yes, I know.

And, uh, fill his water pan

and think of a
good name for him.



I thought I already
named him for you.

Yes, but... Oh, I don't know.

“Austin” doesn't seem like
much of a name for a frog.

Oh, Mommy'll think of
one. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, oh!

Bye. Bye.

Well, it looks like you have
your work cut out for you today.

[chuckles] Oop.

Hey, Mom, when I get
home from school, be sure

and have my white
cords washed and ironed.

I need 'em 'cause I'm
going roller skating, okay?

Well, I don't know if
I'm gonna have time...

Just be the good,
dear, sweet gray-haired

mother I've always
thought you were and do it.

Okay, thanks a lot, Mom. Bye.

[clatters]

What does he think a mother
is? A supercharged robot?

Well, at least he said “thanks.”

I'm gonna have a talk with
those little slave drivers.

You know what you mothers ought
to do? Form a union and go on strike.

No more meals, no
more dresses fixed,

no more buttons sewn on.

Oh, say, there's a
button off my gray suit.

I think you'll find it in
the left-hand pocket.

Send it to the cleaners too.

You might call a man
about that garage door fixed.

I nearly break my back
opening it. I'll see you tonight.

Et tu, Brute?

Margaret, what are you doing?

Oh, Myrtle, come on in.

I was just, um, trapping
a light lunch for Austin.

Austin? Who's Austin?

Oh, he's a frog who's staying
with us now. A friend of Kathy's.

A frog? You know,
I was just thinking.

When I was in
school, I took a course

in the gracious
art of homemaking,

but nowhere in the course
did they even mention

how to catch flies for frogs.

You're right. They didn't.

They didn't mention a
lot of things we have to do.

Like scrubbing corduroy
pants and fixing garage roofs...

Cleaning out a stopped-up sink.

That's what I have
to do this morning.

Margaret, do you
have one of those

rubber stopper plungers things?

And I hope you don't.

Well, you're out of
luck. I do have one.

I think Jim gave me
this for Mother's Day.

Any plumber's friend of mine
is a plumber's friend of yours.

I didn't think you'd have one.

Yeah, I wish I didn't.

Wish I didn't have
any soap flakes either.

I don't think I can look
another dirty dish in the face

as long as I live.

Well, don't, then. Oh,
sure. Just ignore them.

Walk out and...

You know, that's just
exactly what I'd like to do.

Have you ever felt that way?

You know, just dropping
everything and walking out?

For good? Oh, no.

Just for a few hours.

Just get up and go.

Oh.

Oh, I see. Did you
and Jim have a fight?

Of course not.

Well, what happened, then,
honey? Nothing happened.

Oh, look, sweetie, you can
tell me. I wouldn't tell a soul.

Well, there's nothing to tell.

Nothing's wrong.

In fact, everything's
very right.

I have a good
husband who loves me,

healthy children, a
comfortable home,

security, everything.

It's just that... Yes?

Oh, don't look so eager.
I have nothing to tell.

This is just a silly
mood. It'll pass.

Why, in five minutes, I'll
have that sink full of suds...

You know, I have a
mad impulse to dress up

and buy a ridiculous hat.

And not at Gorman's
Department Store either.

At some, oh, exotic little place

like... like...

Have you ever seen that

little French hat shop
down on Orleans Street?

Orleans Street?

Why that's in a...
in another world!

Oh, no. I'm just
talking silly. I'm happy!

Oh, I couldn't
go if I wanted to.

I have to feed frogs

and sew on buttons out of a left-hand
pocket and un-medium a shirt, and...

Why don't you go home
and un-stop your sink?

Yes, maybe I'd better.

Talk to you later.

Margaret, you know, they do
say that those mineral baths

are very relaxing
and therapeutic.

[chuckles] I'll struggle along.

Well, you call me, hon,
if you need me. Bye.

“Orleans Street”?

[Jim] “Our insurance adjuster
will call on you in a very few days

“and make the proper appraisal.

Very truly yours.”

I think that's all for now.

Do you want me to call
Mrs. Anderson for you now?

Mrs. Anderson?

You wanted me to
remind you to tell her

something about a man
fixing the garage door.

Oh, yes, yes. That's right. I want him to
repair some shutters too. Yes, call her.

Always something needs
repairs, it seems like.

Oh, Rock Hudson. How do you do?

Oh, fine. “You're
steady, dependable,

even-tempered,
and love animals.”

I guess you didn't
know, Mr. Rock Hudson,

that I walked out
on a starving frog.

She doesn't seem to be there.

What? Oh, she must
be. She's always there.

I'll try her a little later.
Maybe she's at a neighbor's.

No, she's not one
to run around much.

Probably out in back
feeding Kathy's frog.

Frog's legs. That's
what I'd like... frog's legs.

Oh, no. No, that would
hardly be fair to Austin.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, nothing.

It, uh... It should
be something exotic.

The scallops are nice.

No. No, no. I want
something more...

You'd like our scallops.

No. I want something
more like this.

“Coquille Saint
Jacque a la Parisienne.”

Very good choice.

Oh, uh, exactly what is that?

Scallops.

But we fix them very exotically.

How about a nice
portrait, ma'am?

Oh, no. No, thank you.
I'm just on my way home.

Oh, it will only take a minute.

Oh, what an interesting face!

I don't think it's really
my face today, though.

And I wouldn't want to throw away
my money on someone else's face.

Oh, what's 75 cents?

And you'd have something
to remember this day by,

and this mood...

that you're beginning
to lose, aren't you?

Oh, you had it when you
came out of the hat shop,

you had it when you went
into the cafe, but now...

Come. Let's put it on
paper before it is too late.

Oh, it was such
a beautiful mood.

So... [clicks tongue] saucy,

like a... like a
brief happy song.

Well...

Still no answer.

Really?

Well, that's funny. It can't
take that long to feed a frog.

Three children? Can't
be. Can't possibly be.

You're making this up to
confuse me. But you can't do this.

The artist sees
through to the truth.

Well, the artist had better
take another look, then.

Oh, no. Can't be.

The girl in this
portrait is like, um...

like a wild godetia. A what?

Oh, don't lie.

A godetia is a
beautiful wildflower,

pink and delicate.

In the morning it opens up,

boldly, saucily,

and in the evening it closes.

Oh. [chuckles]

Three kids? I got five.

You? Oh, no.

I thought artists lived free,
unfettered lives in one-room attics.

Oh, no. Artists are like
everyone else... trapped.

And the appetite those kids got.

When they come home from
school and hit that icebox...

Oh, my goodness!
What time is it?

Mine will be coming home
soon too. I've got to go!

But, lady, your portrait...
Sorry. I'll get it another time.

The godetia has to turn back
into a common house plant.

But, lady, lady! 75 cents.

Lady! Lady, your package!

“Mrs. J. Anderson.

607 South Maple.”

♪♪ [humming]

Oh, hello, Betty. Hi.
How did my dress...

Oh, Mother, how come you're
doing dishes this time of day?

Well, does it matter
when I do them?

No, but... I don't know.
It just seems funny.

It's not like you to leave
dirty dishes in the sink all day.

Hey, how'd my dress turn out?

The dress? Oh...

Well, to tell the truth, I
haven't got around to it yet.

You haven't? Mother,
I need it for tomorrow.

What happened to you today?

Well, uh, I'll fix your dress.

I'll, uh... I'll do it tonight.

Oh, hi, Mommy. How'd you
and Austin get along today?

Golly, aren't you through
with the dishes yet?

What'd you do? Goof off all day?

Oh, hi, Mom. Hey,
how'd my cords...

What are you washing
dishes now for?

Because they're dirty, that's
why. Any other questions?

Well, I... You ought
to be cooking by now.

Oh, should I?

Well, sure. You
sick or something?

No, I am not sick.

In fact, I never felt better.

Well, at least I did until
a few moments ago.

Oh. Well, where are my cords?

Up in your room.
I didn't do them.

What? Mom, I gotta have 'em!

Hello, honey. Oh, hello, dear.

Kind of behind schedule
today, aren't you?

Am I supposed to
work on schedules?

No, no, of course not.

It just seemed kind of odd
for you to be behind, that's all.

Oh, I tried to call you
several times today.

Oh? Where were you?

Um... Well, I-I...

guess I must just happened to
have been out when you called.

Well, that's obvious.

Just seemed odd that I kept missing
you, because I knew you were home all day.

We'll have to hook up
some kind of buzzer system

in the backyard so you
can hear the phone...

[doorbell rings]

Uh-oh. I guess the bill collectors
have found out I'm home.

Yes? This belongs
to Mrs. Anderson.

Oh.

A hat. What is this,
a C.O.D. delivery?

Oh, no. Just a
favor. She forgot it.

But she does owe
me 75 cents for this.

What's this?

When... Who did this?

I did. Good, huh?

Perhaps I can do you sometime
when you're down on Orleans Street.

Orleans Street?

Just when did you do this?

This afternoon.

“This afternoon”? Wait a minute.

There's something wrong
here. She was home all day.

She was?

Oh. [chuckles] Now I remember.

It must've been yesterday, huh?

Or perhaps the day before?

Oh. Oh, I have the
memory of an old goat.

I forget. I can't
remember anything.

My wife says I'm hopeless.

I wish my wife
would talk about me

like yours does about you.

Fine woman you have here.

Sterling quality.

75 cents?

Thank you.

Interesting face.

Bye.

You know, this is a
very interesting picture.

Hmm?

It really isn't
you, and yet, uh,

it is you.

Well, where did you get that?

From the man who drew it.

Well, what are you
doing, spying on me?

Spying? Of course not. The
man just brought it to the door.

He brought that too.
You, uh, forgot it, he said.

I thought you said
you were home all day.

Oh, no. No, I didn't say that.

I... I said I was out.

So, how did you happen to go
down to Orleans Street today?

Well, I... Oh, it's silly.

I just felt like it, that's all.

You know how it is. Sometimes
you feel like doing something different.

You know. Well, this
morning I looked at the dishes,

and I... I just didn't
want to do them.

So I... I didn't.

Just had an urge to
buy a ridiculous hat

on Orleans Street.

Well, haven't you sat in your
office and suddenly felt like

jumping up and doing
something ridiculous, maybe?

You know how it is. Just...

Absolutely no reason at all.

Hey, Mom, I think
you just take these...

Hey, who's this picture
of? This is your mother.

Yeah? Oh, well, flip her a fish.

This is my dear,
sweet, little old

gray-haired mother?
Looks like a canary bird.

Hey, Mom, I think if you just run an
iron over these, I can wear them okay.

Let me take another look
at the poor man's Mona Lisa.

[chuckling]

[laughs]

I thought the portrait
was very nice.

All right, now.

Really, why did you
go down there today?

Well, I told you why.

I just felt like it, that's all.

I wanted to buy a new hat.

Honey, you don't have
to hide anything from

me. We don't have any
secrets from each other.

There's no secret.
I've told you everything.

There's nothing more.

Okay, honey. It's all right. You don't
have to tell me. I shouldn't have asked.

But I did tell you! I
said it was all right.

Jim, why won't you believe me?

Well... [chuckles]

Well, you're just not the type.

You're not the kind that would
flit off at the drop of a whim.

You're the steady type,
dependable, even-tempered.

Yes, and love animals. Jim,
will you please listen to me?

I've told you everything...
Honey, you don't have to explain.

You had a reason for doing whatever
you did, and that's good enough for me.

Whatever I did?

Well, I told you what
I did! All I did was...

Look, it doesn't matter. I
don't even want to know.

It's done and forgotten.
Finished. A closed incident.

Oh, how am I gonna
get it into his big, fat head

that I'm not hiding anything?

Who are you?

You're not Margaret.

Why can't you tell
me things anymore?

How have we become
strangers all of a sudden?

What happened?

What went wrong?

Did you call me, Mr. Anderson?

No, no, I didn't.

Oh. I thought sure
I heard your voice.

No, it must've been, uh,
somebody's radio or something.

Oh. Oh, just a minute.

Miss Thomas, you're a woman.

Well, thank you.

I mean, maybe you can give me

a woman's point
of view on a matter.

Sit down, won't you?

Uh, there are these two
people we know, you see,

and-and they've been

very happy for a
long time, very close.

Now, the wife has always been a
very sensible, steady, dependable type.

But all of a sudden, she
started doing strange things.

That is, strange for her.

Right in the middle of the
day, she drops everything,

all of her responsibilities,
and walks out.

Seeks out a carnival atmosphere.
Has a portrait made of herself.

And then... and this
is the worst part...

She won't tell her husband why.

Won't tell him what's
in back of all of this.

Now, how would you explain that?

Well, to tell you the
truth, marital problems

are a little out of my
field, unfortunately.

Surely you must have some
thoughts on a problem like this.

Now, why would
she do such a thing?

Well, what sort of
person's the husband?

Well, he's a...

He-He's a...

Well, I'll say this much for him:
He's certainly broad-minded,

willing to listen to
anything reasonable.

Maybe he's an awful bore. Huh?

Real stuffy and real dull.

Comes home at night,

plunks himself down in a chair and
buries his head in the newspaper.

Nothing charming
about him at all anymore.

About as much personality
as a bowl of stewed prunes.

Oh, no. No. You've
got him all wrong.

No, this fellow is a... a...

Well, he's fairly, uh...

Well, he has a...

My gosh, you don't suppose
that could be true, do you?

Well, she's evidently seeking a
temporary escape from something,

and if it's not from him,
well, I don't know what it is.

Hmm. No.

It couldn't be...

Oh, he does read
the paper a lot.

Of course, I'm a
poor one to ask,

having no first-hand experience,

but I will say this: Yes?

As scarce as
husbands are in my life,

I still think I'd rather leave

than have to live
with this Mr. Prunes.

[thinking] Leave?

Margaret would never
do a thing like that.

That's ridiculous!

All right, if it's
so ridiculous,

how come you're
having thoughts like this?

And why is Margaret
acting the way she is?

Oh. Are you leaving?

Yes, I have some personal business to take
care of. I won't be back until morning.

Oh, well, if anything important should
come up, is there anyplace I can reach you?

Uh, at home. Yes, sir. At home.

Oh, you little troublemaker.

Why did you entice me?

Why didn't you let
me stay at home

in my little trap,

where I evidently belong?

And this is where you belong.

I do one unusual thing,

one little deviation,

and suddenly
it's a federal case.

The whole roof falls in.

Now I'm accused of hiding
things from my husband.

Mommy, Mommy,
Austin's gone! What?

The frog! He jumped
out of his cage! He's gone!

Good for him. What did you say?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

Come on. We'll go look for him.

Austin? Where are you?

Austin, answer me!

[Jim] Margaret?

Margaret... Well, Jim,
what are you doing home?

Honey, I want to talk to you.
Now, look. The only thing to do

is face this thing squarely.

Face what thing?

Oh, honey, you know
what I'm talking about.

I know how you feel about
me, but I don't blame you.

I just didn't realize I'd gotten
to be such a stupid bore,

such an old stewed
prune. “Stewed prune”?

Honey, don't stare at me as
though you didn't understand all this.

Don't keep this wall up.

Can't we talk things
over the way we used to?

I realize why you went
down to Orleans Street.

You needed an escape from me,

the dull guy who keeps his nose
buried in the newspaper all the time.

No, but, Jim... No, no,
no. No. Let me finish.

Let me tell you how
this has upset me.

Do you know I-I even had

ridiculous thoughts
about you leaving me?

But... But everything's
gonna be different now.

We're gonna have
fun again. Aren't we?

Yes? Well, Jim,

don't you think a
woman would be justified

in leaving her husband if he
didn't believe anything she said?

“Didn't believe...” Oh, honey,

I believe whatever you say.

But you didn't. When I told you

why I went down to Orleans
Street, you didn't believe me.

Instead, you were sure
that I was hiding something.

And now look what a-a
thing you've built it up into.

Okay, honey, but you have
to admit, it was pretty odd.

There you go
again! “Pretty odd.”

Why is it that I'm the
only one around here

who can't do something out of the
ordinary routine without causing a tornado?

“Where were you?”

“Why are you washing
dishes this time of day?”

“Why aren't you cooking?” “You
went down to Orleans Street?

“You had your portrait painted?

Oh, how odd! How peculiar!”

Mommy, I found him!

I'll put old Austin back into
his cage where he belongs.

That's right. Back in his
cage where he belongs.

Austin and me. Oh, now, honey...

Please iron the collar on
this dress for me. She cannot!

Your mother's not just a woman we
keep in a cage to work for all of us.

Even if she wanted to
do it now, she couldn't,

because she's
going out to dinner.

With her husband. In the
middle of the afternoon?

Why not? Just because she
does something out of the ordinary,

that's no cause for a tornado.

Honey, go in and put on
something fancy, frivolous.

And hurry!

When you get your dress
done, fix dinner for the kids.

Yes, that's exactly
the hat to wear.

Just right for
where we're going.

Where are we going?
[chuckles] You'll see.

You wanted to know why you
were the only one in the family

who couldn't deviate from the
normal without causing a riot.

Took you an awfully long
time to think of an answer.

But I have one.

It's because you're the hub
around which we all revolve,

the center, the axle,

the beacon light
in the lighthouse,

guiding us all safely home.

I thought the light
in the lighthouse

went clear around, like this,

instead of back and forth.

Oh, no, no, no. Most
of them go like this.

Just so far. Depends
on how far the harbor...