Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 11 - The Great Guy - full transcript
Bud and Kippy go to work at a newspaper company. Their boss is a real tough taskmaster.
[classical music]
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
AND JANE WYATT...
[laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
[horn honking]
COME ON, LET'S SEE IT,
BOY. WHAT DOES IT SAY?
BUD ANDERSON AND KIPPY WATKINS
REPORT FOR WORK,
TUESDAY, 3:30 P.M.,
TO MR. SINCLAIR BRUDER,
CIRCULATION MANAGER.
REPORT FOR WORK.
OH, SING IT AGAIN, DADDY-O.
IT'S MELODIOUS AS A MATING
CALL OF A LOVE-STRUCK MOOSE.
LOOK KIPPY, LET'S NOT
GET SICKENING ABOUT THIS.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT STARTING
OUT AS BANK PRESIDENTS.
WE'RE JUST GONNA BE
LIFTING A FEW CRUMMY BUNDLES
OF NEWSPAPERS AROUND. YEAH.
AND WE START WORK
TOMORROW RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL.
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO
WORK EVERY NIGHT AFTER SCHOOL?
RIGHT DOWN THERE IN
THAT NEWSPAPER OFFICE?
WELL, SURE.
W... WHERE DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO DO NEWSPAPER WORK,
IN A PICKLE FACTORY?
BUD, YOUR SCHOOLING
IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN WORKING RIGHT NOW.
HERE YOU ARE AT THE
BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR,
TRYING TO GET ADJUSTED
TO NEW CLASSES.
MOM, I'M A SOPHOMORE NOW.
I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T WANNA
SUPPORT ME FOREVER.
AND I NEED MONEY RATTLING
AROUND IN MY POCKETS NOW.
I NEED IT FOR DATES AND, WELL,
DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE DATES,
AND, WELL, TAKING GIRLS OUT.
WHAT YOU NEED IS NOT
DATES AND JOBS AND MONEY,
BUT TIME TO CONCENTRATE
ON YOUR STUDIES.
YES, AS I RECALL,
YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY WIN ANY PHI
BETA KAPPA AWARDS LAST YEAR.
I'LL STUDY, DON'T WORRY.
IN FACT, I'LL BE ABLE
TO STUDY BETTER NOW
BECAUSE, WELL, MY MIND WILL
BE FREE OF FINANCIAL WORRIES.
[canned laughter]
HERE'S ANOTHER POINT
I'D LIKE TO BRING UP.
WHEN YOU HAD A JOB WITH
A NEWSPAPER ONCE BEFORE,
I RECALL A FEW OCCASIONS
WHEN I HAD TO GET OUT
AND CARRY THE ROUTE.
OH, DAD, THAT WAS WAY LAST YEAR.
I WAS JUST A KID THEN.
BESIDES, THIS IS AN INSIDE JOB.
IT'S GROWNUP WORK.
ALL RIGHT, IF IT IS
A GROWNUP JOB,
I WANT YOU TO GO
INTO IT AS A GROWNUP.
NO QUITTING, UNDERSTAND?
QUITTING? ARE YOU KIDDING?
I'D BE A NITWIT TO
QUIT A JOB LIKE THIS.
THIS IS NOT A JOB
FOR A YOUNG BOY.
ALL THOSE HEAVY BUNDLES?
MOM, IT WILL WORK OUT GREAT.
THIS WILL BE THE
TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE.
SOMEDAY YOU'LL COME
TO ME ON YOUR KNEES...
AND YOU'LL CRY OUT,
"OH, SON, I WAS SO WRONG
"AND YOU WERE SO RIGHT.
"HOW CAN I HAVE BEEN
SUCH A BLIND STUPID FOOL
TO HAVE DOUBTED YOU?"
BRAVO! OLE! OLE!
DO IT AGAIN, BUD. THAT WAS CUTE.
OH, YOU GUYS.
JUST WAIT TILL I OWN
THAT PAPER SOMEDAY.
YOU GUYS WILL COME
WEASELING AROUND,
ASKING FAVORS, WANTING
MONEY. [canned laughter]
AND I DON'T THINK
I'LL GIVE YOU ANY.
[canned laughter] NOW
SEE WHAT WE'VE DONE.
YOU BLIND FOOLS.
CUT US ALL OFF WITHOUT A PENNY.
[canned laughter]
OH, THIS MUST BE
THE PLACE. YEAH.
NOBODY HERE.
WELL, WHAT KIND OF GUY THIS
SINCLAIR BRUDER CHARACTER IS?
ARE YOU MR. SINCLAIR?
I... I MEAN MR. BRUDER?
CAME TO SEE SINC, HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU TWO GUYS
GONNA DO? WORK FOR SINC?
YES, SIR. YEAH.
WHAT KIND OF A GUY IS
HE? TO WORK FOR, I MEAN.
WHAT KIND OF A GUY IS SINC?
WELL, HE'S... HE'S,
UH, HE'S A GREAT GUY.
WAIT A MINUTE, [PH] CRAWFORD,
DIETRICH, COME BACK HERE.
WHAT KIND OF WORK IS THIS?
THESE BUNDLES LOOKED
LIKE THEY WERE TIED
BY A 6-YEAR-OLD RUNT OF A GIRL
TYING UP A BUNCH OF CREAM PUFFS
WITH A HAIR RIBBON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS
THINK YOU ARE, RETIRED?
THAT'S YOUR MAN.
SINC?
HEY, SINC! GOT A MINUTE?
YEAH.
GOTTA TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE SUNDAY EDITION.
THEY'RE COMING OUT
WITH TWO EXTRA SECTIONS:
THE SCENIC HISTORY OF
SPRINGFIELD OR SOMETHING.
BY THE TIME WE GET THESE
MONSTERS STUFFED AND BUNDLED,
THE OUT-OF-TOWN EDITIONS
WILL NEVER MAKE THE TRAIN.
OUR PAPER ALWAYS
MAKES THE TRAIN,
THAT'S WHY WE'RE IN
BUSINESS. SURE, SINC, BUT LOOK...
NOW, YOU KNOW THE
PROBLEM, PLAN FOR IT.
NATURE DIDN'T PUT THAT
CAVITY IN THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD
JUST TO HOLD UP YOUR SCALP.
FIGURE, A LITTLE BOY, FIGURE.
THIS PAPER COMES OUT
ON TIME ALL THE TIME.
OKAY, MATT?
OKAY, SINC.
[comical music]
♪ ♪
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO REPORT...
♪ ♪
FOR WORK...
♪ ♪
TO YOU.
♪ ♪
WE GOT THIS.
BUD ANDERSON, KIPPY WATKINS.
SO...
YOU BOYS WANNA WORK, EH?
THINK YOU KNOW HOW
TO WORK? SURE, I DO.
I'M A GOOD WORKER.
AH, HOT SHOT, EH?
ALL RIGHT, HOT SHOT!
PRINT YOUR NAME
ON THIS, TOP LINE.
THESE ARE TIME CARDS.
YOU'LL PUNCH IN
AT THE BIG CLOCK.
I'LL SHOW YOU HOW LATER.
YOU WANT THIS IN INK?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
YOU WANT MY NAME ON HERE IN INK?
[sighs] WELL, THAT'S
FOR YOU TO DECIDE.
INK LASTS A LONG TIME.
MAYBE YOU WON'T.
[canned laughter]
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
NOW, THIS IS A CONVEYOR.
CARRIES THE PAPERS
FROM THE PRESSES.
YOU BOYS KNOW
WHAT A NEWSPAPER IS?
OH, SURE.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT IS IT?
WHY, IT'S-IT'S THE
NEWS... PRINTED UP.
FIRST THING YOU GUYS GOT TO
LEARN IS WHAT A NEWSPAPER IS.
GOT TO LEARN IT AND FEEL IT.
OTHERWISE, YOU'RE JUST
WASTING YOUR TIME AROUND HERE.
A NEWSPAPER IS
THE MIRROR OF MAN.
IT'S HIS CONSCIENCE
AND HIS CRUSADER.
CRIES HIS TEARS FOR HIM
AND LAUGHS UP HIS JOKES,
SHOUTS HIS TRIUMPHS
AND RECORDS HIS FAILURES.
BRINGS HIM INTO THE
WORLD AND BURIES HIM.
FINALLY, IT GOES TO ITS OWN
DEATH CARRIED OUT AS GARBAGE.
BUT MORE IMPORTANT THAN
THAT, IT'S THE LIVING MOMENT.
IT'S NOT YESTERDAY OR
THIS MORNING, IT'S NOW.
[thumps]
A LATE NEWSPAPER IS
NO NEWSPAPER AT ALL.
WELL, YOU CAN RUN OFF 5
MILLION COPIES OF A PAPER,
BUT THAT PAPER DOES NOT EXISTS
UNTIL IT'S IN THE
HANDS OF A READER.
THAT'S WHY THIS DEPARTMENT
IS THE BLOODSTREAM
OF THE WHOLE WORKS...
CIRCULATION.
YOU GUYS GOT THAT?
OKAY.
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO TAKE
PAPERS OFF THE CONVEYOR?
WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
SURE! I DO.
JUST SORT OF THAT
AND JUST GRAB 'EM.
OKAY, GRAB 'EM.
OKAY.
[canned laughter]
QUIT PLAYING, HOT SHOT.
YOU'RE JUST JAMMING
UP THE WORKS.
MATT WILL SHOW YOU HOW
TO DO IT THE RIGHT WAY.
COME ON.
THE MOST USEFUL THING A
GUY CAN BRING TO A NEW JOB
IS A LITTLE HONEST IGNORANCE.
THERE'S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG
WAY TO DO EVERY JOB AROUND.
AIN'T NO MATTER
HOW BIG OR LITTLE IT IS,
AND THERE ARE NO UNIMPORTANT
JOBS ON A NEWSPAPER.
YOU GUYS GOT THAT? OKAY.
NOW, THESE ARE
THE INSERTION PAPER.
THESE FELLOWS HERE ARE STUFFERS.
INK PERMEATED STUFFERS, THEY
PUT THE SECTIONS TOGETHER.
OVER HERE...
OVER HERE ARE THE TIERS.
YOU BETTER LEARN THAT KNOT.
THERE ARE 50 NEWSPAPERS
IN EACH BUNDLE HERE.
AND EVERY KNOT YOU
TIE THAT WON'T HOLD...
[canned laughter]
MEANS 50 READERS
WON'T GET THEIR PAPERS.
OKAY?
NOW, WE'LL GO PUNCH IN YOUR
CARDS AND THEN COVER YOU
WITH A LITTLE BLOOD,
SWEAT, AND INK.
HEY, BUD, LET'S QUIT.
QUIT? WE HAVEN'T
EVEN STARTED YET.
YOU CAN'T QUIT UNTIL
AFTER YOU STARTED.
WELL, LET'S START THEN.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
TELL ME THE ART OF
CONVERSATION IS A LOST ART.
WELL, LET'S NOT TRY TO
REVIVE IT RIGHT NOW, EH?
COME ON.
[canned laughter]
[sighs]
OH, MAN.
THIS GUY SINC IS GONNA KILL US.
I THINK WE'RE ALREADY DEAD.
WE JUST DON'T KNOW
ENOUGH TO LIE DOWN.
COME ON, COME ON!
THIS ISN'T A REST HOME!
[comical music]
[canned laughter]
YOU'LL FIND YOU CAN
PUSH THAT TRUCK EASIER
FROM A STANDING POSITION.
[canned laughter]
YOU KNOW, IF I JUST
HAD TIME TO TRY,
I COULD HATE THAT
LITTLE BUZZARD.
NO, I DON'T HATE HIM.
IT'S WRONG TO HATE ANYONE.
I JUST LOATHE HIM.
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[thuds]
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
WHEN WE ORIGINALLY
PUT UP THIS BUILDING,
A CONTRACTOR HAD
AN INGENIOUS IDEA.
HE FIGURED IT'D BE
A LITTLE DIFFICULT
PUSHING THESE TRUCKS
RIGHT THROUGH THE WALL,
SO HE PUT IN A DOOR.
LET'S TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF HIS PLAN, EH?
YES, SIR.
WHO TIED THIS?
HOT SHOT, COME HERE!
[canned laughter]
YOU'RE NOT TYING
BOWS ON BOX LUNCHES
WHERE LADIES EAT SOCIAL SUPPERS.
THIS IS A NEWSPAPER
WE'RE RUNNING HERE.
NOW, PICK 'EM UP.
CAN'T PICK 'EM UP WITH
YOUR FEET, HOTSHOT.
[canned laughter]
OH, THAT GUY HAS GOT EYES
IN THE BACK OF HIS
FLAT, LITTLE HEAD.
[canned laughter]
[door closes]
[melancholy music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
OH, BUD!
I'M SURE GLAD YOU'RE HOME.
REMEMBER ONE DAY YOU SAID YOU
WERE GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO BOP?
WELL, LET'S DO IT NOW.
OH, GO AWAY.
BUT I'M GOING TO A PARTY FRIDAY,
AND THEY'LL ALL
BE DANCING THERE!
CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S
COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED?
NO. I'M... I'M NOT EXHAUSTED.
[canned laughter] I FEEL FINE.
IT'S REAL INVIGORATING WORK.
[canned laughter]
GIVES A GUY THAT OLD PEP.
YES, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, THEN, IF
YOU FEEL SO GOOD,
WHY DON'T YOU
TEACH ME HOW TO BOP?
[canned laughter]
WELL, I'M GOING TO.
I'M DYING TO.
I'VE GOTTA GET RID OF ALL
THIS EXCESS ENERGY SOMEHOW.
WELL, GOOD. LET'S ROCK.
[canned laughter]
[jazz music plays]
♪ ♪
BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE
DYING TO TEACH ME HOW TO BOP!
I'M DYING, PERIOD.
GET LOST, WILL YOU?
BUT YOU SAID...
I SAID GET LOST.
ALL RIGHT FOR YOU.
MOMMY, DIDN'T YOU HEAR HIM SAY
HE WAS GONNA
TEACH ME HOW TO BOP?
[door clicks open]
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
WHAT'S THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT IF YOU'LL TREE IT,
I'LL GO GET MY SHOTGUN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, DOPEY?
IS THAT GREAT JOB
THAT'S GONNA BE THE
TURNING POINT IN YOUR LIFE
TOO MUCH FOR YOU?
NO, IT ISN'T.
IT'S A VERY GOOD JOB, AND I
CAN HANDLE IT LIKE NOTHING, SEE?
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR HOMEWORK?
HOW ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE
TO DO THAT IN YOUR CONDITION?
I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS
AND DO IT RIGHT NOW.
GOSH, WHAT'S EVERYBODY
JUMP ON ME FOR,
JUST 'CAUSE I GOT THE
BULLDOG INTERPRETER
TO GO OUT AND GET A JOB.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH WORK?
NOTHING.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
AND WHEN DID YOU GET
SO CRAZY ABOUT WORK?
WE CAN'T EVEN GET YOU
TO CARRY THE GARBAGE CAN
OUT TO THE STREET.
THAT'S WOMAN'S WORK.
[canned laughter]
YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE'S RIGHT.
ABOUT CARRYING OUT
THE GARBAGE CAN?
NO.
ABOUT HIS JOB.
LITTLE WORK NEVER HURT ANYONE.
BUT HE'S COMPLETELY WORN OUT.
WELL, SURE.
BUT ANY JOB IS TOUGH AT FIRST
WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
THIS IS GOOD FOR HIM.
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID,
I HAD A MISERABLE JOB ON A...
RAILROAD SECTION GANG.
[canned laughter]
HUH?
OH, I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT, HUH?
NO, NOT THIS MONTH.
[canned laughter]
[thuds]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
THE FIRST NIGHT I GOT HOME
FROM THE SECTION GANG,
I COULDN'T EVEN LIFT A BOOK.
HI, BUD, HOW ARE YOU?
MISERABLE.
ME, TOO. [bundy clock dings]
LET'S QUIT!
NAH, I CAN'T.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?
WE'VE BEEN HERE A WEEK NOW
AND IT'S GETTING NO
BETTER AWFUL FAST.
I KNOW,
BUT I MADE SUCH A BIG THING
OUT OF THIS JOB TO MY FOLKS,
ESPECIALLY MOM.
I CAN'T BACK OUT NOW.
TRAPPED MYSELF.
I HAD TO SHOOT OFF MY BIG MOUTH.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THIS.
THAT FAT LITTLE SOUGHT-OFF
SINC MAKES ONE MORE CRACK AT ME,
I'M GONNA SLUG HIM.
AND WHILE HE'S LYING ON THE
FLOOR GASPING FOR BREATH,
I'M GONNA REED THAT GUY OUT
LIKE HE'S NEVER
BEEN REEDED BEFORE.
HERE COMES YOUR
CHANCE, GET READY.
YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT?
I DIDN'T HIRE YOU GUYS
TO REPAIR THE CLOCK,
JUST USE IT TO
PUNCH IN YOUR CARDS
AND THEN LET'S GET TO WORK.
THAT IS IF YOU DON'T
THINK IT'LL INTERFERE
WITH YOUR SOCIAL TEA-TA-TEA.
[canned laughter]
NO, SIR. YES, SIR.
WELL, THE COMPANY
WILL APPRECIATE IT HIGHLY.
[canned laughter]
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SLUG HIM?
WELL, AT LEAST, I DIDN'T
BOW AND SCRAPE LIKE YOU,
"OH, NO, SIR. YES,
SIR. YES, SIR. NO, SIR."
YEAH, WHY DO I DO THAT?
YOU KNOW, IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS, I
DON'T KNOW WHO I HATE THE MOST,
HIM OR ME.
COME HERE, YOU GUYS.
COME, ON. COME, ON. COME, ON.
YOU GUYS AREN'T KEEPING
YOUR EQUIPMENT IN SHAPE.
A WHEEL IS SUPPOSED TO TURN.
WHAT I HAVE HERE IS FULL OF INK,
GETS IN YOUR HANDS, YOUR
CLOTHES AND THEN YOUR SOLE.
AND IT CLOGS UP A WHEEL
IF YOU DON'T KEEP IT CLEAN.
A CLEAN TOOL IS
AN EFFICIENT TOOL.
GO GET A RAG,
HOTSHOT, AND AN OIL CAN.
GO GET A RAG AND AN OIL CAN.
HOW LONG'S IT GONNA
TAKE YOU GUYS TO LEARN
THERE ARE NO UNIMPORTANT
JOBS IN NEWSPAPER.
AND THERE'S A RIGHT
WAY AND A WRONG WAY
TO DO EVERY ONE OF
THOSE JOBS, RIGHT, MATT?
THAT'S RIGHT, SINC.
MATT'S LEARNED IT, THE ONLY
WAY TO LEARN IT, THE HARD WAY.
CLEAN 'EM. OIL 'EM.
NOT NOW, STUPID.
OUR CHANCE WILL COME.
OH, MAN, IT CAN'T COME
QUICK ENOUGH FOR ME.
COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
DON'T SAY THAT.
[canned laughter]
DON'T EVER SAY THAT.
WELL, EXACTLY, WHAT
WERE YOU DOING?
WHAT WAS ALL THIS STRANGE...
TRYING TO CONJURE UP AN
EVIL SPIRIT OR SOMETHING?
I WISH I COULD.
MAN, I WISH I COULD.
HEY, THIS ISN'T CLEAN.
IT'S GOT SPOTS IN IT.
OH, THOSE WON'T COME OFF
UNLESS IT'S SCOURDED
WITH STEEL WOOL.
SO SCOUR IT. [canned laughter]
IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
THERE ARE NO UNIMPORTANT JOBS.
THERE'S A RIGHT WAY AND A
WRONG WAY TO DO EACH JOB.
[canned laughter] OH
LOOK WHO'S TALKING?
BUD.
I SEE THAT YOU ONLY DID HALF
YOUR ALGEBRA PROBLEMS YESTERDAY?
YEAH, I KNOW, MOM.
BUT THAT WASN'T
MY FAULT EXACTLY.
YOU SEE, I LOANED
MY BOOK TO SOMEONE.
BUD, WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT
THAT YOU'RE TOO TIRED
TO DO YOUR SCHOOLWORK?
WELL, YOU'RE NOT ONLY TIRED,
BUT YOU COME HOME
COVERED IN NEWSPAPER INK.
IT'S... IT'S ON THE TOWELS, ON
YOUR HAND, YOUR WORK CLOTHES.
WELL, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE
TIME TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT THAT
THIS JOB IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU?
I LIKE THE JOB VERY MUCH
AND I'LL NEVER GIVE IT UP.
[canned laughter]
SURE, YOU LIKE IT.
YOU'RE CRAZY ABOUT IT.
A GOOD CASE OF THE MEASLES.
[canned laughter]
YOUNG MAN TO SEE
ME? WHAT'S HIS NAME?
[PH] LUCIUS GIMPLEKNOCKER.
HUH? OH! COME IN,
MR. GIMPLEKNOCKER.
[canned laughter]
I WANNA TALK TO YOU, DAD.
SURE, SIT DOWN.
HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR INSURANCE?
CUT THE COMEDY,
DAD. THIS IS SERIOUS.
OH?
I DON'T THINK I GOT ANY BRAINS.
I WANNA QUIT, BUT EVERY
TIME MOM TELLS ME I OUGHT TO,
WELL, RIGHT AWAY I SAY,
"OH, NO, I LOVE THE JOB
AND I'LL NEVER GIVE IT UP."
I SAID IT TO HER
AGAIN JUST LAST NIGHT.
WHAT MAKES A GUY DO THAT?
OH, A FELLOW JUST HATES
TO ADMIT THAT HE WAS WRONG.
IT TAKES A LITTLE
COURAGE TO DO THAT.
WELL, YEAH, YEAH, I GUESS.
I CERTAINLY DON'T
WANNA SEE YOU QUIT,
BUT IF THE WORK IS THAT HARD...
NO, THE... THE WORK ISN'T HARD.
I'M GETTING ON TO THAT.
IT'S THAT LITTLE SQUIRT
THAT RUNS IT, OLD SINC.
SINC?
SINCLAIR BRUDER.
HE THINKS HE'S HITLER.
HE RUNS THAT DEPARTMENT
WITH AN IRON CLAW.
[canned laughter]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE EXPECTS US TO WORK
ALL THE TIME WE'RE THERE.
WELL, ISN'T THAT WHAT
HE'S PAYING YOU FOR?
[canned laughter]
YEAH, BUT... WELL,
HE'S SO FINICKY.
EVERY LITTLE THING
HAS TO BE DONE JUST SO.
HE DRIVES YOU BATTY.
HE'S GOT EYES IN THE BACK
OF HIS HEAD AND ON BOTH SIDES.
[canned laughter]
YOU HIDE SOME PLACE TO
GOOF OFF, FOR JUST A MINUTE,
AND BANG, HE SPOTS
YOU. [canned laughter]
PUT A BUNDLE, THAT'S
NOT TIED TO GOOD
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE
STACK AND HE COULD SPOT IT
IF HE WAS A MILE AWAY.
I TELL YOU, HE DRIVES YOU BATTY.
SOUNDS LIKE HE'S JUST TRYING
TO DO A GOOD THOROUGH JOB.
OH, NO, ALL HE'S TRYING TO DO
IS MAKE A PSYCHOLOGICAL
NERVOUS WRETCH OUT OF ME.
WELL, IF IT'S AFFECTING YOU
THAT WAY, YOU BETTER QUIT.
BUT YOU MIGHT AS WELL KNOW
NOW THAT WHEREVER YOU GO,
THERE'LL ALWAYS BE A SINC BRUDER
AND YOU'D BETTER LEARN
TO GET ALONG WITH HIM.
WELL, I KNOW HOW,
JUST WALK OUT ON HIM.
NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. YOU
HAVE TO GIVE HIM AMPLE NOTICE,
SO HE HAS TIME TO
HIRE ANOTHER BOY.
HE WOULDN'T GIVE
ME AMPLE NOTICE.
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE FAIR.
WELL, SURE.
SEEMS A SHAME TO THROW
AWAY A GOOD CHANCE
TO GET EVEN WITH HIM.
WELL, YOU'LL BE
THINKING OF A GOOD WAY
TO EXPLAIN MY QUITTING TO MOM.
MAKE IT SOUND
LIKE I'M STILL RIGHT.
I ALREADY KNOW A GOOD WAY.
JUST TELL HER THAT
YOU WERE WRONG.
AND HURRY, OR YOU'LL
BE LATE FOR WORK.
HEY, WHERE YOU'VE BEEN, BOY?
I'VE BEEN TALKING TO MY DAD.
I'VE MADE UP MY MIND,
KIPPY, I'M GONNA QUIT.
NOW, YOU'RE TALKING SENSE.
THAT'S THE ONLY REASON
I CAME TO WORK TODAY.
I'M GONNA TELL HIM OFF
AND THEN WALKOUT ON HIM.
WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA
GIVE HIM A WEEK'S NOTICE?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WOULD HE GIVE US ANY NOTICE?
YOU KNOW WHAT HE'D DO
IF HE SAW YOU IN A
RIVER DROWNING?
HE'D THROW YOU A 60-POUND ANVIL.
WELL, HE'S GOING TO
HIS SQUIRREL CAGE.
NOW, WOULD BE A GOOD TIME
FOR US TO TELL HIM WE'RE QUITTING.
YEAH.
YOU WANNA BE FIRST?
[canned laughter]
WELL, NO, NO. GO... GO
AHEAD IF YOU WANT TO.
OKAY, I... I'M NOT AFRAID.
I GOT A LITTLE SPEECH MADE UP
THAT'LL POP THE CORN RIGHT
OFF THAT CORN COB PIPE OF HIS.
GOOD LUCK.
YEAH.
ARE YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANNA BE FIRST?
[canned laughter]
UH, NO, I CAN WAIT.
[canned laughter]
OKAY.
[canned laughter]
MR. BROODER...
YOU'RE GONNA QUIT?
ALL RIGHT, PUNCH
OUT YOUR TIME CARD,
GET OVER TO THE PERSONNEL
MANAGEMENT OFFICE,
AND PICK UP YOUR CLOSING CHECK.
[canned laughter]
HE'LL BE EXPECTING YOU.
HEY, KID, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT'S THE IDEA OF SENDING OUT
THE WRONG INSERT IN THAT
WEST SPRINGFIELD EDITION?
WELL, GOSH, I... I...
THE WEST SPRINGFIELD
ADVERTISERS AREN'T PAYING US
TO SEND THEIR ADS CLEAN
OUT TO HILLSBOROUGH.
NOW, THEY ALL WANT REFUNDS.
ALL RIGHT, DARBY, YOU
GOT ANYTHING TO SAY?
SAY IT TO ME. WELL...
LOOK HERE, THE... THE... COMPLAINTS
AND DEMANDS FOR REFUNDS
BECAUSE YOUR BOYS INSERTED
THE WRONG SECTION AND...
DARBY, YOU KNOW THAT
WE INSERT THE SECTIONS
THAT ARE SENT DOWN TO US.
AND WHERE DID THE ORDERS
COME FROM FOR THAT?
FROM THAT OFFICE OF YOURS,
THAT PARAGON OF CONFUSION.
DON'T COME PRYING AROUND HERE.
AND DON'T PICK ON MY BOYS,
ESPECIALLY NOT THIS ONE.
HE'S MY BEST BOY, YOU SEE?
[canned laughter]
THANK YOU, MR. BRUDER.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET TO WORK.
HEY, BUD!
DID YOU QUIT YET?
NO, I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE.
WELL, I DID. I TOLD
HIM OFF GOOD.
YEAH, I KNOW. I HEARD YOU.
BUT AT LEAST I QUIT. THAT'S
MORE NERVE THAN YOU GOT.
YEAH. HEY, KID, COME HERE.
NOW, WHAT KIND
OF STACKING IS THIS?
DID I TEACH YOU TO
DO THIS KIND OF WORK?
NO, SIR, BUT I DIDN'T DO THAT.
WELL, IT'S YOUR TRUCK, AND
YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.
BUT I DIDN'T DO IT.
SOMEBODY ELSE MUST
HAVE 'CAUSE I JUST GOT HERE.
WELL, YOU KNOW I
DON'T STACK LIKE THAT.
I CAN STACK BETTER
THAN ANY GUY YOU GOT,
AND I CAN TIE WITH ANY OF THEM,
AND I'M FASTER THAN
ANYBODY EXCEPT MATT.
AND IF YOU DON'T STOP
RIDING ME, I'M GONNA...
I'M...
♪ ♪
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? ANDREWS?
ANDERSON.
♪ ♪
WHAT DO YOU THINK
HE'S GONNA DO TO YOU?
I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE.
I JUST DON'T WANT HIM THINKING I
WAS SUCH A BAD GUY, AND
THEN THAT HAD TO HAPPEN.
[whispering] HEY CAN
YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
ANDERSON, THE PERSONNEL MANAGER
WANTS YOU TO
REPORT TO HIS OFFICE.
♪ ♪
YOU GOT THE SACK, BOY. YEAH.
HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH
NERVE TO TELL ME TO MY FACE.
OH, BOY, I'M GONNA REPORT
TO THAT PERSONNEL
MANAGER ALL RIGHT.
AND THE REPORT'S GONNA
BE ABOUT ONE MR. SINC.
OH, SIT DOWN.
YOU'RE, UH, BUD ANDERSON.
IS THAT RIGHT? YES, SIR.
I HAVE A REPORT ON YOU HERE
FROM SINC... OH, MR. BRUDER.
NOW, WE PUT A LOT OF
STOCK IN HIS REPORTS.
HE'S A FAIRLY KEEN
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
AND WHEN HE TELLS US
SOMETHING ABOUT A BOY,
WE CAN BE PRETTY SURE IT'S TRUE.
YES, BUT IN THIS CASE...
IN THIS CASE, HE'S
RECOMMENDED YOU FOR A JOB
THAT'S JUST OPENED UP IN
THE ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT.
HE... RECOMMENDED ME?
HE SAYS YOU'RE A GOOD
WORKER, DEPENDABLE,
KNOW YOUR STUFF, FAST LEARNER,
HUMBLE, GOOD CHARACTER,
AND ABOVE ALL...
YOU'RE NOT A QUITTER.
HE... HE SAID THAT ABOUT ME?
YOU KNOW...
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
WHO DON'T LIKE SINC.
BUT IT'S ALWAYS THE PEOPLE
WHO DON'T DO THEIR JOB.
ONCE A MAN PROVES
HIMSELF TO SINC,
HE'S GOT A FRIEND FOR LIFE.
A GREAT GUY IS SINC...
GREAT GUY.
YOU SAY, UH, KIPPY
TOLD YOU THIS?
YES, HE WAS COMING OUT
FROM THE NEWSPAPER OFFICE
WHEN I SAW HIM.
HE SAID BUD AND THE SINC FELLOW
HAD THIS TERRIBLE FIGHT AND...
OH, WAS BUD HURT?
OH, THEY WERE JUST SHOUTING
AT EACH OTHER, I THINK.
AND THEN SINC HAD BUD
TAKEN UP TO THE FRONT OFFICE,
AND BUD TOLD KIPPY THAT HE WAS
GONNA MAKE TROUBLE FOR SINC.
OH, I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE
THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
I KNEW IT! THAT'S
NO PLACE FOR A BOY.
WELL, THAT SETTLES IT.
I'LL GO DOWN THERE AND FIND
OUT EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
I AM LOOKING FOR A
FELLOW NAMED, UH, SINC.
OKAY, IT'S ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
OH, WELL, I'M, UH, BUD
ANDERSON'S FATHER,
AND I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU
A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.
OKAY. WHAT QUESTIONS DO
YOU THINK YOU WANT ANSWERED?
WELL, IN THE FIRST PLACE... DAD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DAD?
WELL, I HEARD THERE WAS
SOME KIND OF TROUBLE,
AND I CAME DOWN
HERE TO SETTLE THINGS.
EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SETTLED.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
I WANNA THANK YOU, MR. BRUDER,
FOR RECOMMENDING ME FOR THE JOB.
THEY SAID AT THE NEW JOB,
I... I WOULDN'T BE
WITH YOU ANYMORE...
SO I TURNED IT DOWN.
I'M STAYING HERE WITH YOU.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
GOTTA HAVE THIS
BOY'S HEAD EXAMINED.
♪ ♪
NO MONKEYING
AROUND WITH HIS HEART,
NOT MANY LIKE THAT COME ALONG.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪
NOW, LET'S, UH... LET'S GET
HERE ON TIME TOMORROW.
♪ ♪
[sighs] I DON'T
THINK I GET THIS.
A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO,
ALL YOU WANTED TO DO WAS
GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN.
NOW, YOU TURNED DOWN
A JOB TO STAY WITH HIM.
WHAT KIND OF A MAN IS HE?
WELL, HE'S, UH, A
GREAT GUY, DAD.
GREAT GUY.
♪ ♪
[applause]
[theme music]
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
AND JANE WYATT...
[laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
[horn honking]
COME ON, LET'S SEE IT,
BOY. WHAT DOES IT SAY?
BUD ANDERSON AND KIPPY WATKINS
REPORT FOR WORK,
TUESDAY, 3:30 P.M.,
TO MR. SINCLAIR BRUDER,
CIRCULATION MANAGER.
REPORT FOR WORK.
OH, SING IT AGAIN, DADDY-O.
IT'S MELODIOUS AS A MATING
CALL OF A LOVE-STRUCK MOOSE.
LOOK KIPPY, LET'S NOT
GET SICKENING ABOUT THIS.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT STARTING
OUT AS BANK PRESIDENTS.
WE'RE JUST GONNA BE
LIFTING A FEW CRUMMY BUNDLES
OF NEWSPAPERS AROUND. YEAH.
AND WE START WORK
TOMORROW RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL.
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO
WORK EVERY NIGHT AFTER SCHOOL?
RIGHT DOWN THERE IN
THAT NEWSPAPER OFFICE?
WELL, SURE.
W... WHERE DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO DO NEWSPAPER WORK,
IN A PICKLE FACTORY?
BUD, YOUR SCHOOLING
IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN WORKING RIGHT NOW.
HERE YOU ARE AT THE
BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR,
TRYING TO GET ADJUSTED
TO NEW CLASSES.
MOM, I'M A SOPHOMORE NOW.
I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T WANNA
SUPPORT ME FOREVER.
AND I NEED MONEY RATTLING
AROUND IN MY POCKETS NOW.
I NEED IT FOR DATES AND, WELL,
DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE DATES,
AND, WELL, TAKING GIRLS OUT.
WHAT YOU NEED IS NOT
DATES AND JOBS AND MONEY,
BUT TIME TO CONCENTRATE
ON YOUR STUDIES.
YES, AS I RECALL,
YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY WIN ANY PHI
BETA KAPPA AWARDS LAST YEAR.
I'LL STUDY, DON'T WORRY.
IN FACT, I'LL BE ABLE
TO STUDY BETTER NOW
BECAUSE, WELL, MY MIND WILL
BE FREE OF FINANCIAL WORRIES.
[canned laughter]
HERE'S ANOTHER POINT
I'D LIKE TO BRING UP.
WHEN YOU HAD A JOB WITH
A NEWSPAPER ONCE BEFORE,
I RECALL A FEW OCCASIONS
WHEN I HAD TO GET OUT
AND CARRY THE ROUTE.
OH, DAD, THAT WAS WAY LAST YEAR.
I WAS JUST A KID THEN.
BESIDES, THIS IS AN INSIDE JOB.
IT'S GROWNUP WORK.
ALL RIGHT, IF IT IS
A GROWNUP JOB,
I WANT YOU TO GO
INTO IT AS A GROWNUP.
NO QUITTING, UNDERSTAND?
QUITTING? ARE YOU KIDDING?
I'D BE A NITWIT TO
QUIT A JOB LIKE THIS.
THIS IS NOT A JOB
FOR A YOUNG BOY.
ALL THOSE HEAVY BUNDLES?
MOM, IT WILL WORK OUT GREAT.
THIS WILL BE THE
TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE.
SOMEDAY YOU'LL COME
TO ME ON YOUR KNEES...
AND YOU'LL CRY OUT,
"OH, SON, I WAS SO WRONG
"AND YOU WERE SO RIGHT.
"HOW CAN I HAVE BEEN
SUCH A BLIND STUPID FOOL
TO HAVE DOUBTED YOU?"
BRAVO! OLE! OLE!
DO IT AGAIN, BUD. THAT WAS CUTE.
OH, YOU GUYS.
JUST WAIT TILL I OWN
THAT PAPER SOMEDAY.
YOU GUYS WILL COME
WEASELING AROUND,
ASKING FAVORS, WANTING
MONEY. [canned laughter]
AND I DON'T THINK
I'LL GIVE YOU ANY.
[canned laughter] NOW
SEE WHAT WE'VE DONE.
YOU BLIND FOOLS.
CUT US ALL OFF WITHOUT A PENNY.
[canned laughter]
OH, THIS MUST BE
THE PLACE. YEAH.
NOBODY HERE.
WELL, WHAT KIND OF GUY THIS
SINCLAIR BRUDER CHARACTER IS?
ARE YOU MR. SINCLAIR?
I... I MEAN MR. BRUDER?
CAME TO SEE SINC, HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU TWO GUYS
GONNA DO? WORK FOR SINC?
YES, SIR. YEAH.
WHAT KIND OF A GUY IS
HE? TO WORK FOR, I MEAN.
WHAT KIND OF A GUY IS SINC?
WELL, HE'S... HE'S,
UH, HE'S A GREAT GUY.
WAIT A MINUTE, [PH] CRAWFORD,
DIETRICH, COME BACK HERE.
WHAT KIND OF WORK IS THIS?
THESE BUNDLES LOOKED
LIKE THEY WERE TIED
BY A 6-YEAR-OLD RUNT OF A GIRL
TYING UP A BUNCH OF CREAM PUFFS
WITH A HAIR RIBBON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS
THINK YOU ARE, RETIRED?
THAT'S YOUR MAN.
SINC?
HEY, SINC! GOT A MINUTE?
YEAH.
GOTTA TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE SUNDAY EDITION.
THEY'RE COMING OUT
WITH TWO EXTRA SECTIONS:
THE SCENIC HISTORY OF
SPRINGFIELD OR SOMETHING.
BY THE TIME WE GET THESE
MONSTERS STUFFED AND BUNDLED,
THE OUT-OF-TOWN EDITIONS
WILL NEVER MAKE THE TRAIN.
OUR PAPER ALWAYS
MAKES THE TRAIN,
THAT'S WHY WE'RE IN
BUSINESS. SURE, SINC, BUT LOOK...
NOW, YOU KNOW THE
PROBLEM, PLAN FOR IT.
NATURE DIDN'T PUT THAT
CAVITY IN THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD
JUST TO HOLD UP YOUR SCALP.
FIGURE, A LITTLE BOY, FIGURE.
THIS PAPER COMES OUT
ON TIME ALL THE TIME.
OKAY, MATT?
OKAY, SINC.
[comical music]
♪ ♪
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO REPORT...
♪ ♪
FOR WORK...
♪ ♪
TO YOU.
♪ ♪
WE GOT THIS.
BUD ANDERSON, KIPPY WATKINS.
SO...
YOU BOYS WANNA WORK, EH?
THINK YOU KNOW HOW
TO WORK? SURE, I DO.
I'M A GOOD WORKER.
AH, HOT SHOT, EH?
ALL RIGHT, HOT SHOT!
PRINT YOUR NAME
ON THIS, TOP LINE.
THESE ARE TIME CARDS.
YOU'LL PUNCH IN
AT THE BIG CLOCK.
I'LL SHOW YOU HOW LATER.
YOU WANT THIS IN INK?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
YOU WANT MY NAME ON HERE IN INK?
[sighs] WELL, THAT'S
FOR YOU TO DECIDE.
INK LASTS A LONG TIME.
MAYBE YOU WON'T.
[canned laughter]
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
NOW, THIS IS A CONVEYOR.
CARRIES THE PAPERS
FROM THE PRESSES.
YOU BOYS KNOW
WHAT A NEWSPAPER IS?
OH, SURE.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT IS IT?
WHY, IT'S-IT'S THE
NEWS... PRINTED UP.
FIRST THING YOU GUYS GOT TO
LEARN IS WHAT A NEWSPAPER IS.
GOT TO LEARN IT AND FEEL IT.
OTHERWISE, YOU'RE JUST
WASTING YOUR TIME AROUND HERE.
A NEWSPAPER IS
THE MIRROR OF MAN.
IT'S HIS CONSCIENCE
AND HIS CRUSADER.
CRIES HIS TEARS FOR HIM
AND LAUGHS UP HIS JOKES,
SHOUTS HIS TRIUMPHS
AND RECORDS HIS FAILURES.
BRINGS HIM INTO THE
WORLD AND BURIES HIM.
FINALLY, IT GOES TO ITS OWN
DEATH CARRIED OUT AS GARBAGE.
BUT MORE IMPORTANT THAN
THAT, IT'S THE LIVING MOMENT.
IT'S NOT YESTERDAY OR
THIS MORNING, IT'S NOW.
[thumps]
A LATE NEWSPAPER IS
NO NEWSPAPER AT ALL.
WELL, YOU CAN RUN OFF 5
MILLION COPIES OF A PAPER,
BUT THAT PAPER DOES NOT EXISTS
UNTIL IT'S IN THE
HANDS OF A READER.
THAT'S WHY THIS DEPARTMENT
IS THE BLOODSTREAM
OF THE WHOLE WORKS...
CIRCULATION.
YOU GUYS GOT THAT?
OKAY.
YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO TAKE
PAPERS OFF THE CONVEYOR?
WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
SURE! I DO.
JUST SORT OF THAT
AND JUST GRAB 'EM.
OKAY, GRAB 'EM.
OKAY.
[canned laughter]
QUIT PLAYING, HOT SHOT.
YOU'RE JUST JAMMING
UP THE WORKS.
MATT WILL SHOW YOU HOW
TO DO IT THE RIGHT WAY.
COME ON.
THE MOST USEFUL THING A
GUY CAN BRING TO A NEW JOB
IS A LITTLE HONEST IGNORANCE.
THERE'S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG
WAY TO DO EVERY JOB AROUND.
AIN'T NO MATTER
HOW BIG OR LITTLE IT IS,
AND THERE ARE NO UNIMPORTANT
JOBS ON A NEWSPAPER.
YOU GUYS GOT THAT? OKAY.
NOW, THESE ARE
THE INSERTION PAPER.
THESE FELLOWS HERE ARE STUFFERS.
INK PERMEATED STUFFERS, THEY
PUT THE SECTIONS TOGETHER.
OVER HERE...
OVER HERE ARE THE TIERS.
YOU BETTER LEARN THAT KNOT.
THERE ARE 50 NEWSPAPERS
IN EACH BUNDLE HERE.
AND EVERY KNOT YOU
TIE THAT WON'T HOLD...
[canned laughter]
MEANS 50 READERS
WON'T GET THEIR PAPERS.
OKAY?
NOW, WE'LL GO PUNCH IN YOUR
CARDS AND THEN COVER YOU
WITH A LITTLE BLOOD,
SWEAT, AND INK.
HEY, BUD, LET'S QUIT.
QUIT? WE HAVEN'T
EVEN STARTED YET.
YOU CAN'T QUIT UNTIL
AFTER YOU STARTED.
WELL, LET'S START THEN.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
TELL ME THE ART OF
CONVERSATION IS A LOST ART.
WELL, LET'S NOT TRY TO
REVIVE IT RIGHT NOW, EH?
COME ON.
[canned laughter]
[sighs]
OH, MAN.
THIS GUY SINC IS GONNA KILL US.
I THINK WE'RE ALREADY DEAD.
WE JUST DON'T KNOW
ENOUGH TO LIE DOWN.
COME ON, COME ON!
THIS ISN'T A REST HOME!
[comical music]
[canned laughter]
YOU'LL FIND YOU CAN
PUSH THAT TRUCK EASIER
FROM A STANDING POSITION.
[canned laughter]
YOU KNOW, IF I JUST
HAD TIME TO TRY,
I COULD HATE THAT
LITTLE BUZZARD.
NO, I DON'T HATE HIM.
IT'S WRONG TO HATE ANYONE.
I JUST LOATHE HIM.
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[thuds]
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
WHEN WE ORIGINALLY
PUT UP THIS BUILDING,
A CONTRACTOR HAD
AN INGENIOUS IDEA.
HE FIGURED IT'D BE
A LITTLE DIFFICULT
PUSHING THESE TRUCKS
RIGHT THROUGH THE WALL,
SO HE PUT IN A DOOR.
LET'S TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF HIS PLAN, EH?
YES, SIR.
WHO TIED THIS?
HOT SHOT, COME HERE!
[canned laughter]
YOU'RE NOT TYING
BOWS ON BOX LUNCHES
WHERE LADIES EAT SOCIAL SUPPERS.
THIS IS A NEWSPAPER
WE'RE RUNNING HERE.
NOW, PICK 'EM UP.
CAN'T PICK 'EM UP WITH
YOUR FEET, HOTSHOT.
[canned laughter]
OH, THAT GUY HAS GOT EYES
IN THE BACK OF HIS
FLAT, LITTLE HEAD.
[canned laughter]
[door closes]
[melancholy music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
OH, BUD!
I'M SURE GLAD YOU'RE HOME.
REMEMBER ONE DAY YOU SAID YOU
WERE GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO BOP?
WELL, LET'S DO IT NOW.
OH, GO AWAY.
BUT I'M GOING TO A PARTY FRIDAY,
AND THEY'LL ALL
BE DANCING THERE!
CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S
COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED?
NO. I'M... I'M NOT EXHAUSTED.
[canned laughter] I FEEL FINE.
IT'S REAL INVIGORATING WORK.
[canned laughter]
GIVES A GUY THAT OLD PEP.
YES, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, THEN, IF
YOU FEEL SO GOOD,
WHY DON'T YOU
TEACH ME HOW TO BOP?
[canned laughter]
WELL, I'M GOING TO.
I'M DYING TO.
I'VE GOTTA GET RID OF ALL
THIS EXCESS ENERGY SOMEHOW.
WELL, GOOD. LET'S ROCK.
[canned laughter]
[jazz music plays]
♪ ♪
BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE
DYING TO TEACH ME HOW TO BOP!
I'M DYING, PERIOD.
GET LOST, WILL YOU?
BUT YOU SAID...
I SAID GET LOST.
ALL RIGHT FOR YOU.
MOMMY, DIDN'T YOU HEAR HIM SAY
HE WAS GONNA
TEACH ME HOW TO BOP?
[door clicks open]
[canned laughter]
[canned laughter]
WHAT'S THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT IF YOU'LL TREE IT,
I'LL GO GET MY SHOTGUN.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, DOPEY?
IS THAT GREAT JOB
THAT'S GONNA BE THE
TURNING POINT IN YOUR LIFE
TOO MUCH FOR YOU?
NO, IT ISN'T.
IT'S A VERY GOOD JOB, AND I
CAN HANDLE IT LIKE NOTHING, SEE?
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR HOMEWORK?
HOW ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE
TO DO THAT IN YOUR CONDITION?
I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS
AND DO IT RIGHT NOW.
GOSH, WHAT'S EVERYBODY
JUMP ON ME FOR,
JUST 'CAUSE I GOT THE
BULLDOG INTERPRETER
TO GO OUT AND GET A JOB.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH WORK?
NOTHING.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
AND WHEN DID YOU GET
SO CRAZY ABOUT WORK?
WE CAN'T EVEN GET YOU
TO CARRY THE GARBAGE CAN
OUT TO THE STREET.
THAT'S WOMAN'S WORK.
[canned laughter]
YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE'S RIGHT.
ABOUT CARRYING OUT
THE GARBAGE CAN?
NO.
ABOUT HIS JOB.
LITTLE WORK NEVER HURT ANYONE.
BUT HE'S COMPLETELY WORN OUT.
WELL, SURE.
BUT ANY JOB IS TOUGH AT FIRST
WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
THIS IS GOOD FOR HIM.
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID,
I HAD A MISERABLE JOB ON A...
RAILROAD SECTION GANG.
[canned laughter]
HUH?
OH, I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT, HUH?
NO, NOT THIS MONTH.
[canned laughter]
[thuds]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
THE FIRST NIGHT I GOT HOME
FROM THE SECTION GANG,
I COULDN'T EVEN LIFT A BOOK.
HI, BUD, HOW ARE YOU?
MISERABLE.
ME, TOO. [bundy clock dings]
LET'S QUIT!
NAH, I CAN'T.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?
WE'VE BEEN HERE A WEEK NOW
AND IT'S GETTING NO
BETTER AWFUL FAST.
I KNOW,
BUT I MADE SUCH A BIG THING
OUT OF THIS JOB TO MY FOLKS,
ESPECIALLY MOM.
I CAN'T BACK OUT NOW.
TRAPPED MYSELF.
I HAD TO SHOOT OFF MY BIG MOUTH.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THIS.
THAT FAT LITTLE SOUGHT-OFF
SINC MAKES ONE MORE CRACK AT ME,
I'M GONNA SLUG HIM.
AND WHILE HE'S LYING ON THE
FLOOR GASPING FOR BREATH,
I'M GONNA REED THAT GUY OUT
LIKE HE'S NEVER
BEEN REEDED BEFORE.
HERE COMES YOUR
CHANCE, GET READY.
YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT?
I DIDN'T HIRE YOU GUYS
TO REPAIR THE CLOCK,
JUST USE IT TO
PUNCH IN YOUR CARDS
AND THEN LET'S GET TO WORK.
THAT IS IF YOU DON'T
THINK IT'LL INTERFERE
WITH YOUR SOCIAL TEA-TA-TEA.
[canned laughter]
NO, SIR. YES, SIR.
WELL, THE COMPANY
WILL APPRECIATE IT HIGHLY.
[canned laughter]
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SLUG HIM?
WELL, AT LEAST, I DIDN'T
BOW AND SCRAPE LIKE YOU,
"OH, NO, SIR. YES,
SIR. YES, SIR. NO, SIR."
YEAH, WHY DO I DO THAT?
YOU KNOW, IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS, I
DON'T KNOW WHO I HATE THE MOST,
HIM OR ME.
COME HERE, YOU GUYS.
COME, ON. COME, ON. COME, ON.
YOU GUYS AREN'T KEEPING
YOUR EQUIPMENT IN SHAPE.
A WHEEL IS SUPPOSED TO TURN.
WHAT I HAVE HERE IS FULL OF INK,
GETS IN YOUR HANDS, YOUR
CLOTHES AND THEN YOUR SOLE.
AND IT CLOGS UP A WHEEL
IF YOU DON'T KEEP IT CLEAN.
A CLEAN TOOL IS
AN EFFICIENT TOOL.
GO GET A RAG,
HOTSHOT, AND AN OIL CAN.
GO GET A RAG AND AN OIL CAN.
HOW LONG'S IT GONNA
TAKE YOU GUYS TO LEARN
THERE ARE NO UNIMPORTANT
JOBS IN NEWSPAPER.
AND THERE'S A RIGHT
WAY AND A WRONG WAY
TO DO EVERY ONE OF
THOSE JOBS, RIGHT, MATT?
THAT'S RIGHT, SINC.
MATT'S LEARNED IT, THE ONLY
WAY TO LEARN IT, THE HARD WAY.
CLEAN 'EM. OIL 'EM.
NOT NOW, STUPID.
OUR CHANCE WILL COME.
OH, MAN, IT CAN'T COME
QUICK ENOUGH FOR ME.
COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
DON'T SAY THAT.
[canned laughter]
DON'T EVER SAY THAT.
WELL, EXACTLY, WHAT
WERE YOU DOING?
WHAT WAS ALL THIS STRANGE...
TRYING TO CONJURE UP AN
EVIL SPIRIT OR SOMETHING?
I WISH I COULD.
MAN, I WISH I COULD.
HEY, THIS ISN'T CLEAN.
IT'S GOT SPOTS IN IT.
OH, THOSE WON'T COME OFF
UNLESS IT'S SCOURDED
WITH STEEL WOOL.
SO SCOUR IT. [canned laughter]
IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
THERE ARE NO UNIMPORTANT JOBS.
THERE'S A RIGHT WAY AND A
WRONG WAY TO DO EACH JOB.
[canned laughter] OH
LOOK WHO'S TALKING?
BUD.
I SEE THAT YOU ONLY DID HALF
YOUR ALGEBRA PROBLEMS YESTERDAY?
YEAH, I KNOW, MOM.
BUT THAT WASN'T
MY FAULT EXACTLY.
YOU SEE, I LOANED
MY BOOK TO SOMEONE.
BUD, WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT
THAT YOU'RE TOO TIRED
TO DO YOUR SCHOOLWORK?
WELL, YOU'RE NOT ONLY TIRED,
BUT YOU COME HOME
COVERED IN NEWSPAPER INK.
IT'S... IT'S ON THE TOWELS, ON
YOUR HAND, YOUR WORK CLOTHES.
WELL, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE
TIME TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT THAT
THIS JOB IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU?
I LIKE THE JOB VERY MUCH
AND I'LL NEVER GIVE IT UP.
[canned laughter]
SURE, YOU LIKE IT.
YOU'RE CRAZY ABOUT IT.
A GOOD CASE OF THE MEASLES.
[canned laughter]
YOUNG MAN TO SEE
ME? WHAT'S HIS NAME?
[PH] LUCIUS GIMPLEKNOCKER.
HUH? OH! COME IN,
MR. GIMPLEKNOCKER.
[canned laughter]
I WANNA TALK TO YOU, DAD.
SURE, SIT DOWN.
HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR INSURANCE?
CUT THE COMEDY,
DAD. THIS IS SERIOUS.
OH?
I DON'T THINK I GOT ANY BRAINS.
I WANNA QUIT, BUT EVERY
TIME MOM TELLS ME I OUGHT TO,
WELL, RIGHT AWAY I SAY,
"OH, NO, I LOVE THE JOB
AND I'LL NEVER GIVE IT UP."
I SAID IT TO HER
AGAIN JUST LAST NIGHT.
WHAT MAKES A GUY DO THAT?
OH, A FELLOW JUST HATES
TO ADMIT THAT HE WAS WRONG.
IT TAKES A LITTLE
COURAGE TO DO THAT.
WELL, YEAH, YEAH, I GUESS.
I CERTAINLY DON'T
WANNA SEE YOU QUIT,
BUT IF THE WORK IS THAT HARD...
NO, THE... THE WORK ISN'T HARD.
I'M GETTING ON TO THAT.
IT'S THAT LITTLE SQUIRT
THAT RUNS IT, OLD SINC.
SINC?
SINCLAIR BRUDER.
HE THINKS HE'S HITLER.
HE RUNS THAT DEPARTMENT
WITH AN IRON CLAW.
[canned laughter]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE EXPECTS US TO WORK
ALL THE TIME WE'RE THERE.
WELL, ISN'T THAT WHAT
HE'S PAYING YOU FOR?
[canned laughter]
YEAH, BUT... WELL,
HE'S SO FINICKY.
EVERY LITTLE THING
HAS TO BE DONE JUST SO.
HE DRIVES YOU BATTY.
HE'S GOT EYES IN THE BACK
OF HIS HEAD AND ON BOTH SIDES.
[canned laughter]
YOU HIDE SOME PLACE TO
GOOF OFF, FOR JUST A MINUTE,
AND BANG, HE SPOTS
YOU. [canned laughter]
PUT A BUNDLE, THAT'S
NOT TIED TO GOOD
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE
STACK AND HE COULD SPOT IT
IF HE WAS A MILE AWAY.
I TELL YOU, HE DRIVES YOU BATTY.
SOUNDS LIKE HE'S JUST TRYING
TO DO A GOOD THOROUGH JOB.
OH, NO, ALL HE'S TRYING TO DO
IS MAKE A PSYCHOLOGICAL
NERVOUS WRETCH OUT OF ME.
WELL, IF IT'S AFFECTING YOU
THAT WAY, YOU BETTER QUIT.
BUT YOU MIGHT AS WELL KNOW
NOW THAT WHEREVER YOU GO,
THERE'LL ALWAYS BE A SINC BRUDER
AND YOU'D BETTER LEARN
TO GET ALONG WITH HIM.
WELL, I KNOW HOW,
JUST WALK OUT ON HIM.
NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. YOU
HAVE TO GIVE HIM AMPLE NOTICE,
SO HE HAS TIME TO
HIRE ANOTHER BOY.
HE WOULDN'T GIVE
ME AMPLE NOTICE.
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE FAIR.
WELL, SURE.
SEEMS A SHAME TO THROW
AWAY A GOOD CHANCE
TO GET EVEN WITH HIM.
WELL, YOU'LL BE
THINKING OF A GOOD WAY
TO EXPLAIN MY QUITTING TO MOM.
MAKE IT SOUND
LIKE I'M STILL RIGHT.
I ALREADY KNOW A GOOD WAY.
JUST TELL HER THAT
YOU WERE WRONG.
AND HURRY, OR YOU'LL
BE LATE FOR WORK.
HEY, WHERE YOU'VE BEEN, BOY?
I'VE BEEN TALKING TO MY DAD.
I'VE MADE UP MY MIND,
KIPPY, I'M GONNA QUIT.
NOW, YOU'RE TALKING SENSE.
THAT'S THE ONLY REASON
I CAME TO WORK TODAY.
I'M GONNA TELL HIM OFF
AND THEN WALKOUT ON HIM.
WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA
GIVE HIM A WEEK'S NOTICE?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WOULD HE GIVE US ANY NOTICE?
YOU KNOW WHAT HE'D DO
IF HE SAW YOU IN A
RIVER DROWNING?
HE'D THROW YOU A 60-POUND ANVIL.
WELL, HE'S GOING TO
HIS SQUIRREL CAGE.
NOW, WOULD BE A GOOD TIME
FOR US TO TELL HIM WE'RE QUITTING.
YEAH.
YOU WANNA BE FIRST?
[canned laughter]
WELL, NO, NO. GO... GO
AHEAD IF YOU WANT TO.
OKAY, I... I'M NOT AFRAID.
I GOT A LITTLE SPEECH MADE UP
THAT'LL POP THE CORN RIGHT
OFF THAT CORN COB PIPE OF HIS.
GOOD LUCK.
YEAH.
ARE YOU SURE YOU
DON'T WANNA BE FIRST?
[canned laughter]
UH, NO, I CAN WAIT.
[canned laughter]
OKAY.
[canned laughter]
MR. BROODER...
YOU'RE GONNA QUIT?
ALL RIGHT, PUNCH
OUT YOUR TIME CARD,
GET OVER TO THE PERSONNEL
MANAGEMENT OFFICE,
AND PICK UP YOUR CLOSING CHECK.
[canned laughter]
HE'LL BE EXPECTING YOU.
HEY, KID, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT'S THE IDEA OF SENDING OUT
THE WRONG INSERT IN THAT
WEST SPRINGFIELD EDITION?
WELL, GOSH, I... I...
THE WEST SPRINGFIELD
ADVERTISERS AREN'T PAYING US
TO SEND THEIR ADS CLEAN
OUT TO HILLSBOROUGH.
NOW, THEY ALL WANT REFUNDS.
ALL RIGHT, DARBY, YOU
GOT ANYTHING TO SAY?
SAY IT TO ME. WELL...
LOOK HERE, THE... THE... COMPLAINTS
AND DEMANDS FOR REFUNDS
BECAUSE YOUR BOYS INSERTED
THE WRONG SECTION AND...
DARBY, YOU KNOW THAT
WE INSERT THE SECTIONS
THAT ARE SENT DOWN TO US.
AND WHERE DID THE ORDERS
COME FROM FOR THAT?
FROM THAT OFFICE OF YOURS,
THAT PARAGON OF CONFUSION.
DON'T COME PRYING AROUND HERE.
AND DON'T PICK ON MY BOYS,
ESPECIALLY NOT THIS ONE.
HE'S MY BEST BOY, YOU SEE?
[canned laughter]
THANK YOU, MR. BRUDER.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET TO WORK.
HEY, BUD!
DID YOU QUIT YET?
NO, I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE.
WELL, I DID. I TOLD
HIM OFF GOOD.
YEAH, I KNOW. I HEARD YOU.
BUT AT LEAST I QUIT. THAT'S
MORE NERVE THAN YOU GOT.
YEAH. HEY, KID, COME HERE.
NOW, WHAT KIND
OF STACKING IS THIS?
DID I TEACH YOU TO
DO THIS KIND OF WORK?
NO, SIR, BUT I DIDN'T DO THAT.
WELL, IT'S YOUR TRUCK, AND
YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.
BUT I DIDN'T DO IT.
SOMEBODY ELSE MUST
HAVE 'CAUSE I JUST GOT HERE.
WELL, YOU KNOW I
DON'T STACK LIKE THAT.
I CAN STACK BETTER
THAN ANY GUY YOU GOT,
AND I CAN TIE WITH ANY OF THEM,
AND I'M FASTER THAN
ANYBODY EXCEPT MATT.
AND IF YOU DON'T STOP
RIDING ME, I'M GONNA...
I'M...
♪ ♪
WHAT'S YOUR NAME? ANDREWS?
ANDERSON.
♪ ♪
WHAT DO YOU THINK
HE'S GONNA DO TO YOU?
I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE.
I JUST DON'T WANT HIM THINKING I
WAS SUCH A BAD GUY, AND
THEN THAT HAD TO HAPPEN.
[whispering] HEY CAN
YOU HEAR ANYTHING?
ANDERSON, THE PERSONNEL MANAGER
WANTS YOU TO
REPORT TO HIS OFFICE.
♪ ♪
YOU GOT THE SACK, BOY. YEAH.
HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH
NERVE TO TELL ME TO MY FACE.
OH, BOY, I'M GONNA REPORT
TO THAT PERSONNEL
MANAGER ALL RIGHT.
AND THE REPORT'S GONNA
BE ABOUT ONE MR. SINC.
OH, SIT DOWN.
YOU'RE, UH, BUD ANDERSON.
IS THAT RIGHT? YES, SIR.
I HAVE A REPORT ON YOU HERE
FROM SINC... OH, MR. BRUDER.
NOW, WE PUT A LOT OF
STOCK IN HIS REPORTS.
HE'S A FAIRLY KEEN
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
AND WHEN HE TELLS US
SOMETHING ABOUT A BOY,
WE CAN BE PRETTY SURE IT'S TRUE.
YES, BUT IN THIS CASE...
IN THIS CASE, HE'S
RECOMMENDED YOU FOR A JOB
THAT'S JUST OPENED UP IN
THE ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT.
HE... RECOMMENDED ME?
HE SAYS YOU'RE A GOOD
WORKER, DEPENDABLE,
KNOW YOUR STUFF, FAST LEARNER,
HUMBLE, GOOD CHARACTER,
AND ABOVE ALL...
YOU'RE NOT A QUITTER.
HE... HE SAID THAT ABOUT ME?
YOU KNOW...
THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE
WHO DON'T LIKE SINC.
BUT IT'S ALWAYS THE PEOPLE
WHO DON'T DO THEIR JOB.
ONCE A MAN PROVES
HIMSELF TO SINC,
HE'S GOT A FRIEND FOR LIFE.
A GREAT GUY IS SINC...
GREAT GUY.
YOU SAY, UH, KIPPY
TOLD YOU THIS?
YES, HE WAS COMING OUT
FROM THE NEWSPAPER OFFICE
WHEN I SAW HIM.
HE SAID BUD AND THE SINC FELLOW
HAD THIS TERRIBLE FIGHT AND...
OH, WAS BUD HURT?
OH, THEY WERE JUST SHOUTING
AT EACH OTHER, I THINK.
AND THEN SINC HAD BUD
TAKEN UP TO THE FRONT OFFICE,
AND BUD TOLD KIPPY THAT HE WAS
GONNA MAKE TROUBLE FOR SINC.
OH, I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE
THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
I KNEW IT! THAT'S
NO PLACE FOR A BOY.
WELL, THAT SETTLES IT.
I'LL GO DOWN THERE AND FIND
OUT EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
I AM LOOKING FOR A
FELLOW NAMED, UH, SINC.
OKAY, IT'S ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT?
OH, WELL, I'M, UH, BUD
ANDERSON'S FATHER,
AND I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU
A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.
OKAY. WHAT QUESTIONS DO
YOU THINK YOU WANT ANSWERED?
WELL, IN THE FIRST PLACE... DAD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DAD?
WELL, I HEARD THERE WAS
SOME KIND OF TROUBLE,
AND I CAME DOWN
HERE TO SETTLE THINGS.
EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SETTLED.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
I WANNA THANK YOU, MR. BRUDER,
FOR RECOMMENDING ME FOR THE JOB.
THEY SAID AT THE NEW JOB,
I... I WOULDN'T BE
WITH YOU ANYMORE...
SO I TURNED IT DOWN.
I'M STAYING HERE WITH YOU.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
GOTTA HAVE THIS
BOY'S HEAD EXAMINED.
♪ ♪
NO MONKEYING
AROUND WITH HIS HEART,
NOT MANY LIKE THAT COME ALONG.
GOOD NIGHT.
♪ ♪
NOW, LET'S, UH... LET'S GET
HERE ON TIME TOMORROW.
♪ ♪
[sighs] I DON'T
THINK I GET THIS.
A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO,
ALL YOU WANTED TO DO WAS
GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN.
NOW, YOU TURNED DOWN
A JOB TO STAY WITH HIM.
WHAT KIND OF A MAN IS HE?
WELL, HE'S, UH, A
GREAT GUY, DAD.
GREAT GUY.
♪ ♪
[applause]
[theme music]