Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 3, Episode 10 - Whistle Bait - full transcript
Betty becomes jealous of a new girl in school, who is getting whistled at by all the boys. Betty wonders why no one will whistle at her.
♪ ♪
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
AND JANE WYATT.
- [laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
- DON'T ASK ME HOW I DID IT.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT
THROUGH THOSE
FIRST TESTS AT ALL.
- YOU'RE A BRAIN, A REAL BRAIN.
- OH, I'M NOT.
- WELL, YOU GOT THE
SECOND-HIGHEST GRADE
IN THE FRESHMAN CLASS.
NOW, WHAT DO YOU
CALL THAT? [chuckles]
GEE. OH, I WISH I
WAS SMART LIKE YOU.
- OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
- I WAS JUST LUCKY.
- OH.
- BETTY, I HEARD
ABOUT YOUR GRADE.
- YOU WERE SENSATIONAL.
- THANKS, JUDY.
- YOU'RE GOING TO THE
BIG HOMECOMING DANCE?
- I WILL IF SOMEBODY ASKS ME.
- OH, ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU'LL HAVE A DOZEN
BOYS ASKING YOU. [laughs]
- THERE'S BETTY
ANDERSON, GIRL GENIUS.
- OH, BE QUIET. OH,
HELLO, MRS. CLARK.
- OH, IF YOU HAVE
A MOMENT, BETTY,
I'D LIKE TO SEE
YOU IN MY OFFICE.
- CERTAINLY. SEE YOU LATER.
- OH, I'LL WAIT
OUT HERE FOR YOU.
- BETTY, YOU SEEM TO HAVE
MADE A PRETTY GOOD START
IN YOUR FIRST
SEMESTER AT COLLEGE.
- I TRIED.
- EXCELLENT GRADES.
AND YOU SEEM TO BE VERY
POPULAR, SOCIALLY WELL-ADJUSTED.
- THANK YOU.
- THE, UM, THE REASON I
ASKED YOU TO COME IN,
I'D LIKE YOU TO BE A
FRESHMAN COUNSELOR.
- A COUNSELOR?
- I THINK YOU CAN BE A
GREAT HELP TO NEW GIRLS
COMING INTO THE SCHOOL,
PARTICULARLY THE SHY ONES,
THE GIRLS WHO DON'T
MAKE FRIENDS EASILY.
IT WILL BE YOUR JOB
TO TAKE THESE GIRLS UNDER
YOUR WING AND SHOW THEM AROUND,
INTRODUCE THEM TO
THE OTHER STUDENTS,
HELP THEM TO BECOME
PART OF THE GROUP.
- YOU UNDERSTAND?
- OH, OF COURSE, I DO.
- IT'S AGREED THEN.
NEXT TIME THERE'S A PROBLEM
WITH A NEW GIRL IN THE CLASS,
SHE'LL BE ASSIGNED TO YOU.
- THANK YOU, MRS. CLARK.
I'LL DO ALL I CAN TO HELP.
- I KNOW YOU WILL, BETTY.
THAT'S ALL. THANK
YOU FOR COMING IN.
- WHAT'D SHE WANT?
- SHE WANTS ME TO BE A
FRESHMAN COUNSELOR!
- OH, REALLY?
- UH-HUH.
- OH, BETTY, THAT'S STUPENDOUS.
WHY, YOU MADE IT A
COUNSELOR AT SPRINGFIELD J.C.,
THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE GREATEST.
OH, IT'S PRACTICALLY
LIKE BEING THE QUEEN.
- OH, IT'S TOO PERFECT.
- OH.
- SO MANY GOOD THINGS
CAN'T HAPPEN IN ONE DAY.
SOMETHING HAS TO
GO WRONG. IT HAS TO.
- OH, NOTHING EVER
GOES WRONG FOR YOU.
YOU'RE THE FAIR-HAIRED CHILD.
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE SMART, YOU'RE PRETTY,
AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE.
- OH, STOP!
- IF...
IF I ONLY HAD
ONE-TENTH AS MUCH AS...
- [laughter]
- OH.
OH, THE ONE IN THE
MIDDLE, THAT'S GLEN CLARK.
- [laughter]
- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
- BETTY, YOU'VE GOT TO SNAG HIM.
OH, HE'S GOT TO TAKE YOU
TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE.
OH, THE MOST POPULAR GIRL
AND THE MOST POPULAR BOY.
OH, WHAT A MATCH.
YOU'D BE SENSATIONAL TOGETHER.
- HEY, BETTY, THEY JUST
POSTED THE GRADES.
YOU REALLY SMASHED
THROUGH. CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANKS, GLEN.
- SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BRAIN.
WE HAD ALGEBRA
TOGETHER IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OOH, IT WAS MURDER!
- YEAH, IT WOULD
HAVE BEEN MURDER
IF SHE HADN'T HELPED YOU
ON EXAMS. YOU'D BE DEAD.
- HOW DO YOU MANAGE
TO BE SO SMART
AND SO POPULAR AT THE SAME TIME?
THAT'S PRACTICALLY ILLEGAL.
- [laughs]
- [wolf whistle]
- [wolf whistles]
[canned laughter]
- HEY, WHAT WAS THAT?
- SHE MUST BE NEW. I'VE
NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE.
- OH, YOU CAN PUT
YOUR EYES BACK IN NOW.
- COME ON. LET'S GO, FELLOWS.
- THIS WAY, [PH] LOCHINVAR.
- OH, THAT WAS [... ]
- OH, GLEN.
- GOODBYE, GLEN.
- BYE.
- GOODBYE, GIRLS.
- BOY, THAT CREATURE
REALLY BROKE UP THE PICNIC.
WHERE'D SHE COME FROM ANYWAY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- HM.
- OH, WHO CARES?
I GOTTA GET HOME.
- I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. BYE.
- BYE.
[canned laughter]
- HOW WOULD I LOOK WITH CURLS?
- OH, YOU'D BE BEAUTIFUL.
- MAYBE I COULD WIN
A BEAUTY CONTEST.
- SURE. THEY'D ELECT
YOU MISS APPLE HEAD.
- [chuckles] [hisses]
WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
- I IMAGINE IT'S YOUR BROTHER.
- [hissing]
- WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
- MOM, HOW DO YOU WHISTLE
THROUGH YOUR TEETH?
- OH, I KNOW I SHOULD KNOW
THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE,
BUT I'M AFRAID
I'M JUST IGNORANT.
- YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT.
[whistles sharply]
[canned laughter]
- DO THAT AGAIN.
- [whistles sharply]
- MOTHER.
- OUT HERE, BETTY.
- YOU USE THESE TWO FINGERS.
[wolf whistles]
- YEAH, BUT HOW?
[hissing sound]
- HI, MOTHER. WHERE'S FATHER?
- [whistles sharply]
- UPSTAIRS. HE'D BE
DOWN IN A MINUTE.
- OH, WAIT TILL I TELL YOU
WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.
- [whistles]
- KATHY,
YOU AND BUD GO OUTSIDE
AND PRACTICE YOUR WHISTLING.
- [sighs]
WHAT A PROBLEM?
IT'S SO HARD TO
TEACH HIM ANYTHING.
[canned laughter]
- COME ON, YOU.
- THIS WAS POSITIVELY
THE DAY TO END ALL DAYS.
- [whistles sharply]
- OH, I WISH FATHER
WERE DOWN HERE.
- [wolf whistle]
- [whistles sharply]
- [hissing sound]
- [wolf whistle]
[canned laughter]
- [whistling]
♪ ♪
- WHO'S WHISTLING?
- IT'S BUD AND KATHY.
- [whistling]
- BUD!
- FATHER, COME
OUT IN THE KITCHEN.
- [wolf whistles]
- [whistles]
[canned laughter]
- WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THE NEWS!
- I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING
WITH THAT RACKET GOING ON.
[canned laughter]
- [wolf whistles]
- WELL, I TAUGHT
HIM. BOY, WHAT A JOB!
[canned laughter]
- [whistling]
- WELL, THE FIRST THING
THAT HAPPENED TODAY WAS...
OH, WAIT TILL I PUT
A MUFFLER ON BUD.
- [whistles]
[wolf whistles]
[canned laughter]
[whistling]
OH, HI. [canned laughter]
[whistles]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- PRACTICING.
[whistling]
- PRACTICING WHAT?
- WHISTLING.
[canned laughter]
- WELL I GATHERED THAT.
WHAT IS THIS? A NEW
CAREER FOR YOU?
- NO. IT'S FOR
WHISTLING AT GIRLS.
I STILL DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS STUFF.
[wolf whistles]
- OH, IT'S PRETTY
IMPORTANT, HUH?
- OH, SURE.
- NOW, WHAT'S FATHER DOING?
- THIS, UH, WHISTLING AT GIRLS,
THIS IS SOMETHING
NEW FOR YOU, ISN'T IT?
- OH, A GUY'S GOTTA
LEARN THIS STUFF.
AS HE GETS OLDER, YOU
KNOW? [canned laughter]
I MEAN SOME GIRLS, UH,
JUST HAVE TO BE WHISTLED AT.
IF YOU DON'T, THEY GET SORE.
- [hissing sound]
- OH!
JUST SOME GIRLS YOU
WHISTLED AT, NOT ALL OF THEM.
- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
[wolf whistles]
- WELL, THIS IS INTERESTING.
HOW DO YOU DETERMINE WHO
RATES THE WHISTLE AND WHO DOES IT?
- WELL, YOU JUST...
WELL, IT ALL DEPENDS.
SOME GIRLS THE GUYS WHISTLE
AT AND OTHERS THEY DON'T.
I... IT'S SORT OF
HARD TO EXPLAIN.
NOW, TAKE BETTY FOR INSTANCE,
THE GUYS DON'T WHISTLE AT HER.
- WHY NOT?
- OH, I DON'T KNOW?
THEY JUST DON'T.
- WELL, I'M WAITING TO
HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.
WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
- OH, BETTY.
- KIDS. WHERE IS BETTY?
- I DON'T KNOW. SHE MIGHT
HAVE GONE TO HER ROOM.
- I THOUGHT SHE WANTED
TO TELL US SOMETHING?
- WELL, SHE WAS WAITING
HERE FOR YOU, HAPPY AS A BIRD.
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, FOR
NO REASON, HER MOOD CHANGED.
SHE WAS IN DEPTHS OF
GLOOM, JUST DISAPPEARED.
- THAT'S STRANGE.
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
- NOTHING. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING.
- I WONDER IF SHE'S
FEELING ALL RIGHT.
- SHE SEEMED TO BE.
- WELL, I'LL GO UP TO
SEE WHAT'S WRONG.
- [wolf whistles]
[canned laughter]
- NOT IN THE HOUSE!
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- DADDY, GUESS WHO
TAUGHT BUD HOW TO WHISTLE?
- SO IT WAS YOU! I'LL
DEAL WITH YOU LATER!
[canned laughter]
[laughs]
♪ ♪
- WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
- NOTHING.
- YOU SAID YOU HAD SOMETHING
IMPORTANT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME.
- I... IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
- SOMETHING IS WRONG.
NOW TELL ME AND
WE'LL STRAIGHTEN IT OUT.
- I SAID IT'S NOTHING.
- WELL, HAVE I DONE
SOMETHING? SAID SOMETHING?
- NO.
- WELL, HAS ANYBODY
DONE ANYTHING?
- NO.
- WELL, THEN WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
- OH, BETTY, OBVIOUSLY,
THERE IS SOMETHING.
I'LL HELP YOU IF YOU'LL
TELL ME WHAT IT IS.
- I TOLD YOU,
FATHER, IT'S NOTHING!
- [sighs] ALL RIGHT.
DINNER WILL BE ON
IN A FEW MINUTES.
- I'M NOT HUNGRY.
- OH, NOW, BETTY.
- FATHER, PLEASE!
- ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
[canned laughter]
[whistles]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- DID YOU TALK TO HER?
- WELL, I'VE TRIED TO,
BUT I DIDN'T GET VERY FAR.
WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I
WAS OUT OF THE KITCHEN?
- NOTHING, I WAS
BUSY AT THE STOVE
AND SHE WAS WAITING
FOR YOU TO COME IN.
- WELL, SHE'S IN A
STEW ABOUT SOMETHING.
WHEN I WENT IN THE ROOM, SHE WAS
STANDING IN FRONT OF HER MIRROR
GOING THROUGH ALL
KINDS OF STRANGE MOTIONS.
SHE WOULDN'T EXPLAIN,
DIDN'T WANNA TALK,
DOESN'T WANNA EAT.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
- OH, I DON'T THINK THERE'S
ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
NOTHING VERY SERIOUS COULD
HAVE COME ON THAT QUICKLY.
- WELL, IF IT ISN'T SERIOUS,
WHY WON'T SHE
TELL ME WHAT IT IS?
- OH, RELAX, DEAR!
LET'S SAY NO MORE
ABOUT IT TO HER.
JUST LEAVE HER ALONE.
CHANCES ARE, WELL, THE
WHOLE THING WILL BE FORGOTTEN
BY TOMORROW MORNING.
♪ ♪
- GOOD MORNING, BETTY.
- OH, GOOD MORNING, MR. BIGELOW.
♪ ♪
- [whistling]
[canned laughter]
[whistling]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[comical music]
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- HI, BETTY.
- OH, HELLO, GLEN.
- HI, CHILD.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, BETTY.
- OH, JUST A...
UH, A COKE, EDDIE.
- HEY, UH, WHAT GOES?
WHY ALL THE GLOOM?
- RALPH, YOU'VE KNOWN
ME PRACTICALLY ALL MY LIFE.
- HUH?
- I CONSIDER YOU, UH,
AN AVERAGE NORMAL BOY
OF AVERAGE NORMAL INTELLIGENCE.
- YEAH.
- NOW, I... I WANT TO ASK YOU A
PURELY IMPERSONAL QUESTION,
AND I WANT AN IMPERSONAL ANSWER.
I WANT YOU TO BE
ABSOLUTELY HONEST.
- WELL, WHAT'S THE QUESTION?
- YOU PROMISE
YOU'LL TELL THE TRUTH.
NO LITTLE WHITE LIES,
NO BEING TACTFUL OR DIPLOMATIC,
THE PLAIN, HONEST TRUTH.
- OKAY.
- IF YOU WERE STANDING ON
THE SIDEWALK AND I WALK BY...
WOULD YOU WHISTLE AT ME?
[canned laughter]
WOULD YOU?
- WELL...
- WELL, I WON'T BE INSULTED.
THIS IS A PURELY
ACADEMIC QUESTION.
BUT IT CAN'T BE AS
DIFFICULT AS ALL THAT?
YOU SIMPLY SAY YES OR NO.
WOULD YOU OR WOULDN'T YOU?
- WELL, I...
NO, I WOULDN'T.
- WHY NOT?
[canned laughter]
- NO, YOU'RE JUST NOT THE...
I MEAN... I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN.
I... I JUST WOULDN'T.
WELL, YOU ASKED ME
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH?
- OH, YOU... YOU!
[canned laughter]
[door slams shut]
[canned laughter]
- WELL, YOU CAN
BORROW FRED'S TUXEDO.
HE'S ABOUT YOUR SIZE.
- WHY DO I HAVE
TO WEAR A TUXEDO?
- BECAUSE I'M GOING
TO WEAR MY FORMAL.
THE HOMECOMING DANCE
IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST
AFFAIRS OF THE WHOLE YEAR.
AND BESIDES, YOU LOOK
SO HANDSOME IN A TUXEDO,
REAL DREAMY.
- WELL, I GUESS I
CAN BORROW FRED'S.
- OH.
HEY, BETTY.
- OH, HI, DOTTY. HELLO, HOWARD.
- WHERE ARE YOU RUSHING TO?
- OH, MRS. CARR'S OVER.
SHE'S WAITING FOR ME.
- I'VE GOT TO GO.
- OH, HERE, TAKE THESE.
I'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS.
- WELL, THANKS A MILLION.
[canned laughter]
- OH, HOWARD'S A DOLL.
WHAT ABOUT GLEN CLARK?
HAS HE ASKED YOU TO THE
HOMECOMING DANCE YET?
OH, WELL, HE HASN'T
REALLY HAD A CHANCE.
AND AFTER ALL...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU LOOK TIRED. IS
SOMETHING WRONG?
- [whistling]
- WELL, I FEEL JUST FINE...
- [whistling]
- WHO IS THAT SNAKE?
- NO ONE I CARE LESS.
OH, UH, MRS. CARR IS
WAITING, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
[knocking]
- COME IN.
- SORRY TO HAVE KEPT
YOU WAITING, MRS. CARR.
- I HAVE YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT
FOR YOU, MS. FRESHMAN COUNSELOR.
A CASE WAS BROUGHT TO
MY ATTENTION THIS MORNING,
A GIRL WHO'S NEW IN THIS SCHOOL.
SHE'S HAVING A LITTLE
DIFFICULTY MAKING FRIENDS.
I AM... I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE
UNDERLYING CAUSES MAY BE,
BUT I SENT FOR HER.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET HER
AND INTRODUCE HER AROUND.
[knocking]
COME IN.
I THINK SHE JUST NEEDS
SOMEONE TO GIVE HER A START.
[door clicks open]
[comical music]
HELLO, DIANE.
THIS IS DIANE MILLS.
DIANE, THIS IS BETTY ANDERSON.
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- HELLO.
- DIANE IS FROM CHICAGO.
BETTY IS ONE OF OUR FRESHMAN
COUNSELORS, A TOP STUDENT.
SHE KNOWS PRACTICALLY
EVERYONE IN THE CLASS.
SHE'LL SEE THAT
YOU GET ACQUAINTED.
I'M SURE YOU'LL GET
ALONG JUST FINE.
- YES, I... I'M SURE WE WILL.
- STOP IN AND SEE ME ANY TIME.
LET ME KNOW HOW
YOU'RE GETTING ALONG.
- THANK YOU, MRS. CARR.
[comical music]
[canned laughter]
- [whistles]
- I'M GETTING SO TIRED
OF BEING WHISTLED AT.
- I CAN IMAGINE.
[canned laughter]
BUT IT'S PRETTY LATE
TODAY TO MEET ANYBODY.
I'LL... I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
WE'LL MEET SOMEPLACE
OR SOMETHING.
- ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- [whistling]
- MARGARET, I'M HOME.
- [whistles]
- OH!
- HOW ABOUT THAT
DAD? NO FINGERS.
- I'M WITH NO EARS. WILL
YOU DO THAT OUTSIDE?
[canned laughter]
- HELLO, DEAR.
- HI, HONEY.
- IS BETTY HOME YET?
- NO, SHE'S LATE.
PROBABLY HAVE
THINGS TO DO AT SCHOOL.
- NOW, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THAT GIRL ANYWAY?
IT'S BEEN ON MY MIND ALL
DAY. WAS IT SOMETHING I DID?
- OH, DON'T WORRY. IT'S
PROBABLY JUST A MOOD.
- WHAT BOTHERS ME, I GUESS,
IS THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S
REFUSED TO CONFIDE IN US.
ALWAYS BEFORE, SHE TELLS
US WHAT WAS TROUBLING HER.
- OH, I THINK YOU'RE
MAKING TOO MUCH OUT OF IT.
MAYBE THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL.
MAYBE SHE HAD AN EXCITING
DAY AT SCHOOL YESTERDAY
AND WAS TIRED, AND SUDDENLY
THERE WAS A LETDOWN, A REACTION.
YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN
A THING LIKE THAT.
OH, WAIT, JIM,
I THINK SHE WILL COME
IN HERE HER USUAL SELF.
IT WILL ALL BE FORGOTTEN.
- I SUPPOSE.
- OH, SHE'LL WALK IN
HERE SMILING AND HAPPY
WITH HER USUAL CHATTER.
IF YOU ASK HER WHAT
WAS WRONG LAST NIGHT,
- SHE WON'T EVEN REMEMBER.
- [laughs]
- [whistles]
- IF YOU DON'T STOP
THAT CRAZY WHISTLING...
[canned laughter]
- WHISTLING? I'M
JUST TYING MY...
SHOE. [canned laughter]
- HOW ARE THINGS AT SCHOOL TO...
- OH, IF SHE THINKS I'M GONNA
INTRODUCE HER TO MY FRIENDS,
SHE IS CRAZY.
[canned laughter]
- NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA.
- I THINK IT'S TIME
WE DRAW THE LINE.
THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH.
- YOU BETTER GO UP
AND CHECK ON BETTY.
- WHAT'S SHE DOING?
- SHE'S ACTING KINDA STRANGE.
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
- MUST I ALWAYS HAVE
PEOPLE STARING AT ME?
- WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU?
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US?
- IT'S NOTHING. I TOLD
YOU IT'S NOTHING!
- BUT, BETTY, WE KNOW
THERE IS SOMETHING.
- WHY WON'T YOU LET US HELP YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU
AND MOTHER KEEP INSISTING.
ONCE AND FOR ALL,
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG.
[phone ringing]
- I'LL GET IT!
HELLO?
WHO?
JUST A MINUTE.
BETTY, IT'S FOR YOU!
BETTY!
[canned laughter]
- I'M COMING!
♪ ♪
- IS IT GLEN?
- IT'S A GIRL.
- HELLO?
- HELLO, BETTY. THIS IS DOTTY.
- HELLO, DOTTY.
NO. NO, I HAVEN'T A DATE YET.
- OH, WELL, I'M GLAD.
OH, I MEAN, I'M SORRY,
BUT I'M GLAD, TOO.
OH, I'M IN AN AWFUL JAM.
YOU SEE, I CAN'T GO TO
THE HOMECOMING DANCE.
MY AUNT'S GETTING MARRIED
AND WE HAVE TO GO TO
MILWAUKEE THIS WEEKEND.
- OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
GEE, I'M SORRY.
I'LL DO ALL I CAN. NOW,
WHAT'S THE FAVOR?
- GEE, UH, I HATE TO ASK
YOU THIS, BETTY, BUT...
WELL, YOU KNOW, HOWARD
AND I HAVE BEEN GOING STEADY
AND, UH, I HATE TO LEAVE HIM
WANDERING AROUND LOOSE
THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE
AND... WELL, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU'D BE A REAL TRUE-BLUE
FRIEND AND GO WITH HIM.
- WELL, I... I... I SUPPOSE
IF... IF YOU WANT ME TO.
- IT WOULD BE A REAL BIG FAVOR,
AND YOU'RE THE
ONLY ONE I'D ASKED.
YOU'RE THE ONLY
GIRL I CAN TRUST.
OH, I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY.
I KNOW HOWARD WILL
BE SAFE WITH YOU.
[canned laughter]
- OH, SURE. ALL RIGHT.
[canned laughter]
OH, NO, NO, NO. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
BYE.
SO NOW I'M THE
KIND YOU CAN TRUST.
I'M THE SAFE TYPE.
HOW LOW CAN YOU GET?
[canned laughter]
[door slams shut]
- IT'S BEGINNING TO MAKE SENSE?
- WELL, I'M TRYING TO
PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER.
SHE ISN'T GOING TO INTRODUCE
SOME OTHER GIRL TO HER FRIENDS,
AND SHE'S UPSET BECAUSE
SHE CAN BE TRUSTED.
NOW, HOW THOSE TWO FIT
TOGETHER, I DON'T KNOW.
- IF WE ONLY KNOW WHAT
STARTED THIS IN THE BEGINNING.
[doorbell dings]
- IT ABSOLUTELY DEFIES...
- OH, HOW DO YOU DO?
- ARE YOU MR. ANDERSON?
- YES, I AM.
- I'M DIANE MILLS
FROM JUNIOR COLLEGE.
- MM-HM.
- IS, UH, BETTY HOME?
- YES, SHE IS.
WON'T YOU COME IN?
- THANK YOU.
- OH, I'M BETTY'S MOTHER.
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- HELLO.
- BETTY IS, UH, IN HER
ROOM. I'LL CALL HER.
- THANK YOU.
- WELL, COME TO THE LIVING ROOM.
BETTY WILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.
[knocking]
- BETTY?
- WHAT IS IT?
- THERE'S A GIRL FRIEND
OF YOURS DOWNSTAIRS,
DIANE MILLS.
- WHAT DOES SHE WANT?
- WELL, SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU.
- TELL HER I'M NOT HOME.
- BETTY, YOUR MOTHER AND
I HAVE TRIED TO BE PATIENT.
SOMETHING IS TROUBLING YOU,
AND WE'VE OFFERED TO HELP.
NOW, WE HAVEN'T INSISTED THAT
YOU TELL US WHAT THE TROUBLE IS,
EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE BEEN
PRETTY HARD TO LIVE WITH
THE PAST 48 HOURS.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOUR QUARREL IS
WITH THIS GIRL DOWNSTAIRS OR
HOW SHE FIGURES IN YOUR PROBLEM.
BUT I DO KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA
SOLVE ANYTHING BY AVOIDING HER.
- THERE'S NOTHING TO SOLVE.
I SIMPLY DON'T WANNA
SEE HER, THAT'S ALL.
- ARE YOU JEALOUS OF DIANE?
- JEALOUS?
- WELL, ARE YOU?
- I'M MOST CERTAINLY
AND POSITIVELY
AND DEFINITELY AM NOT.
- WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT.
BECAUSE AS A POET ONCE SAID,
"JEALOUSY IS THE
FUME OF LITTLE HEARTS,"
AND I KNOW YOURS
IS NOT A LITTLE HEART.
SHE'S DOWN THERE WAITING.
- OH, THE THINGS YOU MAKE ME DO.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- WE MOVED HERE FROM
CHICAGO ABOUT A WEEK AGO.
IT'S A LOT DIFFERENT.
- OF COURSE, IT IS.
BUT YOU'LL LIKE
SPRINGFIELD AS SOON AS...
OH, DIANE TELLS ME THEY'RE
NEWCOMERS TO SPRINGFIELD.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD
TO MEETING YOUR MOTHER.
I... I HOPE YOU'LL BRING
HER OVER TO SEE US.
- THANK YOU.
I WAS ON MY WAY HOME.
I WONDER IF I COULD
TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE.
- WHAT DO YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT?
- MRS. CARR TOLD ME IF I HAD
ANY QUESTIONS OR PROBLEMS,
I SHOULD ASK YOU.
- WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION?
- WHY IS IT NO ONE
AT SCHOOL LIKES ME?
[dramatic music]
- WELL, THAT'S A
STRANGE QUESTION.
- YOU DON'T LIKE ME.
I COULD SEE IT THIS
AFTERNOON RIGHT AFTER WE MET.
AND AFTER WHAT MRS.
CARR TOLD ME ABOUT YOU,
ABOUT HOW NICE AND
FRIENDLY AND POPULAR YOU ARE
WITH ALL THE OTHER KIDS,
I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU'D BE DIFFERENT.
I THOUGHT PERHAPS
I COULD TALK TO YOU
AND THAT MAYBE WE
COULD BE FRIENDS.
WHAT IS IT I'M DOING WRONG?
WHY WILL NONE OF
THE GIRLS SPEAK TO ME?
IS IT BECAUSE I'M A STRANGER
OR BECAUSE OF THE WAY I DRESS
OR THE WAY I TALK?
YOU MUST KNOW WHAT IT IS, BETTY.
JUST ASK YOURSELF,
"WHY, WHY DO YOU
HATE DIANE MILLS?"
- SHE'S GOT BETTY ON THE SPOT.
- NOW, WE'LL SEE WHAT
KIND OF A DAUGHTER WE HAVE.
♪ ♪
- YOU'RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING WRONG, DIANE.
YOU KNOW THE TROUBLE?
WE'RE JEALOUS.
SOUNDS TERRIBLE,
DOESN'T IT? BUT IT'S TRUE.
JUST LIKE MY FATHER SAID...
I WAS JEALOUS BECAUSE...
WELL, JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER
GIRLS BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY AND...
AND YOU'RE NEW AT SCHOOL...
AND ALL THE BOYS WHISTLE
AT YOU WHEN YOU WALK BY.
THERE'S THE TRUTH.
WE'VE BEEN CHEAP...
PETTY...
AND HATEFUL.
AND I'M SORRY.
FRIENDS?
- [sighs] FRIENDS.
- BY GOLLY, SHE DID IT!
- SHH!
[canned laughter]
- OH, JUST LEAVE
EVERYTHING TO ME.
YOU'LL HAVE A MILLION FRIENDS.
SAY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
GO TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE?
- OH, I'D LOVE TO...
BUT I HAVEN'T A DATE.
BOYS DON'T ASK ME
OUT, THEY JUST WHISTLE.
- [chuckles]
I'LL SEE THAT YOU GET A
DATE WITH GLEN CLARK.
HE'S THE GREATEST.
I'M CHAPERONING DOTTY
SNOW'S BOYFRIEND,
SO WE'LL DOUBLE-DATE, OKAY?
- OH, SURE. THAT'LL BE PERFECT.
- DIANE, NOW THAT
WE KNOW EACH OTHER
AND I'VE ANSWERED
A QUESTION FOR YOU,
WILL YOU ANSWER ONE FOR ME?
- OH, YES, ANYTHING.
- WELL, WHY IS IT THAT
BOYS WHISTLE AT YOU
AND THEY DON'T WHISTLE AT ME?
- THAT'S BECAUSE
I'M NEW IN TOWN.
YOU'VE LIVED HERE ALL YOUR LIFE.
BOYS NEVER WHISTLE AT GIRLS
THEY WENT TO KINDERGARTEN WITH.
- YOU THINK THAT'S IT?
- SURE!
- OH.
[laughter]
- SO THAT'S IT.
THE WHISTLING BUSINESS.
[laughs]
[applause]
[theme music]
Narrator: ROBERT YOUNG...
AND JANE WYATT.
- [laughter]
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...
IN FATHER KNOWS BEST.
- DON'T ASK ME HOW I DID IT.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT
THROUGH THOSE
FIRST TESTS AT ALL.
- YOU'RE A BRAIN, A REAL BRAIN.
- OH, I'M NOT.
- WELL, YOU GOT THE
SECOND-HIGHEST GRADE
IN THE FRESHMAN CLASS.
NOW, WHAT DO YOU
CALL THAT? [chuckles]
GEE. OH, I WISH I
WAS SMART LIKE YOU.
- OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
- I WAS JUST LUCKY.
- OH.
- BETTY, I HEARD
ABOUT YOUR GRADE.
- YOU WERE SENSATIONAL.
- THANKS, JUDY.
- YOU'RE GOING TO THE
BIG HOMECOMING DANCE?
- I WILL IF SOMEBODY ASKS ME.
- OH, ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU'LL HAVE A DOZEN
BOYS ASKING YOU. [laughs]
- THERE'S BETTY
ANDERSON, GIRL GENIUS.
- OH, BE QUIET. OH,
HELLO, MRS. CLARK.
- OH, IF YOU HAVE
A MOMENT, BETTY,
I'D LIKE TO SEE
YOU IN MY OFFICE.
- CERTAINLY. SEE YOU LATER.
- OH, I'LL WAIT
OUT HERE FOR YOU.
- BETTY, YOU SEEM TO HAVE
MADE A PRETTY GOOD START
IN YOUR FIRST
SEMESTER AT COLLEGE.
- I TRIED.
- EXCELLENT GRADES.
AND YOU SEEM TO BE VERY
POPULAR, SOCIALLY WELL-ADJUSTED.
- THANK YOU.
- THE, UM, THE REASON I
ASKED YOU TO COME IN,
I'D LIKE YOU TO BE A
FRESHMAN COUNSELOR.
- A COUNSELOR?
- I THINK YOU CAN BE A
GREAT HELP TO NEW GIRLS
COMING INTO THE SCHOOL,
PARTICULARLY THE SHY ONES,
THE GIRLS WHO DON'T
MAKE FRIENDS EASILY.
IT WILL BE YOUR JOB
TO TAKE THESE GIRLS UNDER
YOUR WING AND SHOW THEM AROUND,
INTRODUCE THEM TO
THE OTHER STUDENTS,
HELP THEM TO BECOME
PART OF THE GROUP.
- YOU UNDERSTAND?
- OH, OF COURSE, I DO.
- IT'S AGREED THEN.
NEXT TIME THERE'S A PROBLEM
WITH A NEW GIRL IN THE CLASS,
SHE'LL BE ASSIGNED TO YOU.
- THANK YOU, MRS. CLARK.
I'LL DO ALL I CAN TO HELP.
- I KNOW YOU WILL, BETTY.
THAT'S ALL. THANK
YOU FOR COMING IN.
- WHAT'D SHE WANT?
- SHE WANTS ME TO BE A
FRESHMAN COUNSELOR!
- OH, REALLY?
- UH-HUH.
- OH, BETTY, THAT'S STUPENDOUS.
WHY, YOU MADE IT A
COUNSELOR AT SPRINGFIELD J.C.,
THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE GREATEST.
OH, IT'S PRACTICALLY
LIKE BEING THE QUEEN.
- OH, IT'S TOO PERFECT.
- OH.
- SO MANY GOOD THINGS
CAN'T HAPPEN IN ONE DAY.
SOMETHING HAS TO
GO WRONG. IT HAS TO.
- OH, NOTHING EVER
GOES WRONG FOR YOU.
YOU'RE THE FAIR-HAIRED CHILD.
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE SMART, YOU'RE PRETTY,
AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE.
- OH, STOP!
- IF...
IF I ONLY HAD
ONE-TENTH AS MUCH AS...
- [laughter]
- OH.
OH, THE ONE IN THE
MIDDLE, THAT'S GLEN CLARK.
- [laughter]
- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
- BETTY, YOU'VE GOT TO SNAG HIM.
OH, HE'S GOT TO TAKE YOU
TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE.
OH, THE MOST POPULAR GIRL
AND THE MOST POPULAR BOY.
OH, WHAT A MATCH.
YOU'D BE SENSATIONAL TOGETHER.
- HEY, BETTY, THEY JUST
POSTED THE GRADES.
YOU REALLY SMASHED
THROUGH. CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANKS, GLEN.
- SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BRAIN.
WE HAD ALGEBRA
TOGETHER IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OOH, IT WAS MURDER!
- YEAH, IT WOULD
HAVE BEEN MURDER
IF SHE HADN'T HELPED YOU
ON EXAMS. YOU'D BE DEAD.
- HOW DO YOU MANAGE
TO BE SO SMART
AND SO POPULAR AT THE SAME TIME?
THAT'S PRACTICALLY ILLEGAL.
- [laughs]
- [wolf whistle]
- [wolf whistles]
[canned laughter]
- HEY, WHAT WAS THAT?
- SHE MUST BE NEW. I'VE
NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE.
- OH, YOU CAN PUT
YOUR EYES BACK IN NOW.
- COME ON. LET'S GO, FELLOWS.
- THIS WAY, [PH] LOCHINVAR.
- OH, THAT WAS [... ]
- OH, GLEN.
- GOODBYE, GLEN.
- BYE.
- GOODBYE, GIRLS.
- BOY, THAT CREATURE
REALLY BROKE UP THE PICNIC.
WHERE'D SHE COME FROM ANYWAY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- HM.
- OH, WHO CARES?
I GOTTA GET HOME.
- I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. BYE.
- BYE.
[canned laughter]
- HOW WOULD I LOOK WITH CURLS?
- OH, YOU'D BE BEAUTIFUL.
- MAYBE I COULD WIN
A BEAUTY CONTEST.
- SURE. THEY'D ELECT
YOU MISS APPLE HEAD.
- [chuckles] [hisses]
WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
- I IMAGINE IT'S YOUR BROTHER.
- [hissing]
- WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
- MOM, HOW DO YOU WHISTLE
THROUGH YOUR TEETH?
- OH, I KNOW I SHOULD KNOW
THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE,
BUT I'M AFRAID
I'M JUST IGNORANT.
- YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT.
[whistles sharply]
[canned laughter]
- DO THAT AGAIN.
- [whistles sharply]
- MOTHER.
- OUT HERE, BETTY.
- YOU USE THESE TWO FINGERS.
[wolf whistles]
- YEAH, BUT HOW?
[hissing sound]
- HI, MOTHER. WHERE'S FATHER?
- [whistles sharply]
- UPSTAIRS. HE'D BE
DOWN IN A MINUTE.
- OH, WAIT TILL I TELL YOU
WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.
- [whistles]
- KATHY,
YOU AND BUD GO OUTSIDE
AND PRACTICE YOUR WHISTLING.
- [sighs]
WHAT A PROBLEM?
IT'S SO HARD TO
TEACH HIM ANYTHING.
[canned laughter]
- COME ON, YOU.
- THIS WAS POSITIVELY
THE DAY TO END ALL DAYS.
- [whistles sharply]
- OH, I WISH FATHER
WERE DOWN HERE.
- [wolf whistle]
- [whistles sharply]
- [hissing sound]
- [wolf whistle]
[canned laughter]
- [whistling]
♪ ♪
- WHO'S WHISTLING?
- IT'S BUD AND KATHY.
- [whistling]
- BUD!
- FATHER, COME
OUT IN THE KITCHEN.
- [wolf whistles]
- [whistles]
[canned laughter]
- WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THE NEWS!
- I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING
WITH THAT RACKET GOING ON.
[canned laughter]
- [wolf whistles]
- WELL, I TAUGHT
HIM. BOY, WHAT A JOB!
[canned laughter]
- [whistling]
- WELL, THE FIRST THING
THAT HAPPENED TODAY WAS...
OH, WAIT TILL I PUT
A MUFFLER ON BUD.
- [whistles]
[wolf whistles]
[canned laughter]
[whistling]
OH, HI. [canned laughter]
[whistles]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- PRACTICING.
[whistling]
- PRACTICING WHAT?
- WHISTLING.
[canned laughter]
- WELL I GATHERED THAT.
WHAT IS THIS? A NEW
CAREER FOR YOU?
- NO. IT'S FOR
WHISTLING AT GIRLS.
I STILL DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS STUFF.
[wolf whistles]
- OH, IT'S PRETTY
IMPORTANT, HUH?
- OH, SURE.
- NOW, WHAT'S FATHER DOING?
- THIS, UH, WHISTLING AT GIRLS,
THIS IS SOMETHING
NEW FOR YOU, ISN'T IT?
- OH, A GUY'S GOTTA
LEARN THIS STUFF.
AS HE GETS OLDER, YOU
KNOW? [canned laughter]
I MEAN SOME GIRLS, UH,
JUST HAVE TO BE WHISTLED AT.
IF YOU DON'T, THEY GET SORE.
- [hissing sound]
- OH!
JUST SOME GIRLS YOU
WHISTLED AT, NOT ALL OF THEM.
- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
[wolf whistles]
- WELL, THIS IS INTERESTING.
HOW DO YOU DETERMINE WHO
RATES THE WHISTLE AND WHO DOES IT?
- WELL, YOU JUST...
WELL, IT ALL DEPENDS.
SOME GIRLS THE GUYS WHISTLE
AT AND OTHERS THEY DON'T.
I... IT'S SORT OF
HARD TO EXPLAIN.
NOW, TAKE BETTY FOR INSTANCE,
THE GUYS DON'T WHISTLE AT HER.
- WHY NOT?
- OH, I DON'T KNOW?
THEY JUST DON'T.
- WELL, I'M WAITING TO
HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.
WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
- OH, BETTY.
- KIDS. WHERE IS BETTY?
- I DON'T KNOW. SHE MIGHT
HAVE GONE TO HER ROOM.
- I THOUGHT SHE WANTED
TO TELL US SOMETHING?
- WELL, SHE WAS WAITING
HERE FOR YOU, HAPPY AS A BIRD.
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, FOR
NO REASON, HER MOOD CHANGED.
SHE WAS IN DEPTHS OF
GLOOM, JUST DISAPPEARED.
- THAT'S STRANGE.
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
- NOTHING. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING.
- I WONDER IF SHE'S
FEELING ALL RIGHT.
- SHE SEEMED TO BE.
- WELL, I'LL GO UP TO
SEE WHAT'S WRONG.
- [wolf whistles]
[canned laughter]
- NOT IN THE HOUSE!
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- DADDY, GUESS WHO
TAUGHT BUD HOW TO WHISTLE?
- SO IT WAS YOU! I'LL
DEAL WITH YOU LATER!
[canned laughter]
[laughs]
♪ ♪
- WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
- NOTHING.
- YOU SAID YOU HAD SOMETHING
IMPORTANT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME.
- I... IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
- SOMETHING IS WRONG.
NOW TELL ME AND
WE'LL STRAIGHTEN IT OUT.
- I SAID IT'S NOTHING.
- WELL, HAVE I DONE
SOMETHING? SAID SOMETHING?
- NO.
- WELL, HAS ANYBODY
DONE ANYTHING?
- NO.
- WELL, THEN WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
- OH, BETTY, OBVIOUSLY,
THERE IS SOMETHING.
I'LL HELP YOU IF YOU'LL
TELL ME WHAT IT IS.
- I TOLD YOU,
FATHER, IT'S NOTHING!
- [sighs] ALL RIGHT.
DINNER WILL BE ON
IN A FEW MINUTES.
- I'M NOT HUNGRY.
- OH, NOW, BETTY.
- FATHER, PLEASE!
- ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
[canned laughter]
[whistles]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- DID YOU TALK TO HER?
- WELL, I'VE TRIED TO,
BUT I DIDN'T GET VERY FAR.
WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I
WAS OUT OF THE KITCHEN?
- NOTHING, I WAS
BUSY AT THE STOVE
AND SHE WAS WAITING
FOR YOU TO COME IN.
- WELL, SHE'S IN A
STEW ABOUT SOMETHING.
WHEN I WENT IN THE ROOM, SHE WAS
STANDING IN FRONT OF HER MIRROR
GOING THROUGH ALL
KINDS OF STRANGE MOTIONS.
SHE WOULDN'T EXPLAIN,
DIDN'T WANNA TALK,
DOESN'T WANNA EAT.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
- OH, I DON'T THINK THERE'S
ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
NOTHING VERY SERIOUS COULD
HAVE COME ON THAT QUICKLY.
- WELL, IF IT ISN'T SERIOUS,
WHY WON'T SHE
TELL ME WHAT IT IS?
- OH, RELAX, DEAR!
LET'S SAY NO MORE
ABOUT IT TO HER.
JUST LEAVE HER ALONE.
CHANCES ARE, WELL, THE
WHOLE THING WILL BE FORGOTTEN
BY TOMORROW MORNING.
♪ ♪
- GOOD MORNING, BETTY.
- OH, GOOD MORNING, MR. BIGELOW.
♪ ♪
- [whistling]
[canned laughter]
[whistling]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[comical music]
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- HI, BETTY.
- OH, HELLO, GLEN.
- HI, CHILD.
- HELLO.
- HELLO, BETTY.
- OH, JUST A...
UH, A COKE, EDDIE.
- HEY, UH, WHAT GOES?
WHY ALL THE GLOOM?
- RALPH, YOU'VE KNOWN
ME PRACTICALLY ALL MY LIFE.
- HUH?
- I CONSIDER YOU, UH,
AN AVERAGE NORMAL BOY
OF AVERAGE NORMAL INTELLIGENCE.
- YEAH.
- NOW, I... I WANT TO ASK YOU A
PURELY IMPERSONAL QUESTION,
AND I WANT AN IMPERSONAL ANSWER.
I WANT YOU TO BE
ABSOLUTELY HONEST.
- WELL, WHAT'S THE QUESTION?
- YOU PROMISE
YOU'LL TELL THE TRUTH.
NO LITTLE WHITE LIES,
NO BEING TACTFUL OR DIPLOMATIC,
THE PLAIN, HONEST TRUTH.
- OKAY.
- IF YOU WERE STANDING ON
THE SIDEWALK AND I WALK BY...
WOULD YOU WHISTLE AT ME?
[canned laughter]
WOULD YOU?
- WELL...
- WELL, I WON'T BE INSULTED.
THIS IS A PURELY
ACADEMIC QUESTION.
BUT IT CAN'T BE AS
DIFFICULT AS ALL THAT?
YOU SIMPLY SAY YES OR NO.
WOULD YOU OR WOULDN'T YOU?
- WELL, I...
NO, I WOULDN'T.
- WHY NOT?
[canned laughter]
- NO, YOU'RE JUST NOT THE...
I MEAN... I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN.
I... I JUST WOULDN'T.
WELL, YOU ASKED ME
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH?
- OH, YOU... YOU!
[canned laughter]
[door slams shut]
[canned laughter]
- WELL, YOU CAN
BORROW FRED'S TUXEDO.
HE'S ABOUT YOUR SIZE.
- WHY DO I HAVE
TO WEAR A TUXEDO?
- BECAUSE I'M GOING
TO WEAR MY FORMAL.
THE HOMECOMING DANCE
IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST
AFFAIRS OF THE WHOLE YEAR.
AND BESIDES, YOU LOOK
SO HANDSOME IN A TUXEDO,
REAL DREAMY.
- WELL, I GUESS I
CAN BORROW FRED'S.
- OH.
HEY, BETTY.
- OH, HI, DOTTY. HELLO, HOWARD.
- WHERE ARE YOU RUSHING TO?
- OH, MRS. CARR'S OVER.
SHE'S WAITING FOR ME.
- I'VE GOT TO GO.
- OH, HERE, TAKE THESE.
I'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS.
- WELL, THANKS A MILLION.
[canned laughter]
- OH, HOWARD'S A DOLL.
WHAT ABOUT GLEN CLARK?
HAS HE ASKED YOU TO THE
HOMECOMING DANCE YET?
OH, WELL, HE HASN'T
REALLY HAD A CHANCE.
AND AFTER ALL...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU LOOK TIRED. IS
SOMETHING WRONG?
- [whistling]
- WELL, I FEEL JUST FINE...
- [whistling]
- WHO IS THAT SNAKE?
- NO ONE I CARE LESS.
OH, UH, MRS. CARR IS
WAITING, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
[knocking]
- COME IN.
- SORRY TO HAVE KEPT
YOU WAITING, MRS. CARR.
- I HAVE YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT
FOR YOU, MS. FRESHMAN COUNSELOR.
A CASE WAS BROUGHT TO
MY ATTENTION THIS MORNING,
A GIRL WHO'S NEW IN THIS SCHOOL.
SHE'S HAVING A LITTLE
DIFFICULTY MAKING FRIENDS.
I AM... I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE
UNDERLYING CAUSES MAY BE,
BUT I SENT FOR HER.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET HER
AND INTRODUCE HER AROUND.
[knocking]
COME IN.
I THINK SHE JUST NEEDS
SOMEONE TO GIVE HER A START.
[door clicks open]
[comical music]
HELLO, DIANE.
THIS IS DIANE MILLS.
DIANE, THIS IS BETTY ANDERSON.
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- HELLO.
- DIANE IS FROM CHICAGO.
BETTY IS ONE OF OUR FRESHMAN
COUNSELORS, A TOP STUDENT.
SHE KNOWS PRACTICALLY
EVERYONE IN THE CLASS.
SHE'LL SEE THAT
YOU GET ACQUAINTED.
I'M SURE YOU'LL GET
ALONG JUST FINE.
- YES, I... I'M SURE WE WILL.
- STOP IN AND SEE ME ANY TIME.
LET ME KNOW HOW
YOU'RE GETTING ALONG.
- THANK YOU, MRS. CARR.
[comical music]
[canned laughter]
- [whistles]
- I'M GETTING SO TIRED
OF BEING WHISTLED AT.
- I CAN IMAGINE.
[canned laughter]
BUT IT'S PRETTY LATE
TODAY TO MEET ANYBODY.
I'LL... I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
WE'LL MEET SOMEPLACE
OR SOMETHING.
- ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- [whistling]
- MARGARET, I'M HOME.
- [whistles]
- OH!
- HOW ABOUT THAT
DAD? NO FINGERS.
- I'M WITH NO EARS. WILL
YOU DO THAT OUTSIDE?
[canned laughter]
- HELLO, DEAR.
- HI, HONEY.
- IS BETTY HOME YET?
- NO, SHE'S LATE.
PROBABLY HAVE
THINGS TO DO AT SCHOOL.
- NOW, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THAT GIRL ANYWAY?
IT'S BEEN ON MY MIND ALL
DAY. WAS IT SOMETHING I DID?
- OH, DON'T WORRY. IT'S
PROBABLY JUST A MOOD.
- WHAT BOTHERS ME, I GUESS,
IS THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S
REFUSED TO CONFIDE IN US.
ALWAYS BEFORE, SHE TELLS
US WHAT WAS TROUBLING HER.
- OH, I THINK YOU'RE
MAKING TOO MUCH OUT OF IT.
MAYBE THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL.
MAYBE SHE HAD AN EXCITING
DAY AT SCHOOL YESTERDAY
AND WAS TIRED, AND SUDDENLY
THERE WAS A LETDOWN, A REACTION.
YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN
A THING LIKE THAT.
OH, WAIT, JIM,
I THINK SHE WILL COME
IN HERE HER USUAL SELF.
IT WILL ALL BE FORGOTTEN.
- I SUPPOSE.
- OH, SHE'LL WALK IN
HERE SMILING AND HAPPY
WITH HER USUAL CHATTER.
IF YOU ASK HER WHAT
WAS WRONG LAST NIGHT,
- SHE WON'T EVEN REMEMBER.
- [laughs]
- [whistles]
- IF YOU DON'T STOP
THAT CRAZY WHISTLING...
[canned laughter]
- WHISTLING? I'M
JUST TYING MY...
SHOE. [canned laughter]
- HOW ARE THINGS AT SCHOOL TO...
- OH, IF SHE THINKS I'M GONNA
INTRODUCE HER TO MY FRIENDS,
SHE IS CRAZY.
[canned laughter]
- NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA.
- I THINK IT'S TIME
WE DRAW THE LINE.
THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH.
- YOU BETTER GO UP
AND CHECK ON BETTY.
- WHAT'S SHE DOING?
- SHE'S ACTING KINDA STRANGE.
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
♪ ♪
[canned laughter]
- MUST I ALWAYS HAVE
PEOPLE STARING AT ME?
- WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU?
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US?
- IT'S NOTHING. I TOLD
YOU IT'S NOTHING!
- BUT, BETTY, WE KNOW
THERE IS SOMETHING.
- WHY WON'T YOU LET US HELP YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU
AND MOTHER KEEP INSISTING.
ONCE AND FOR ALL,
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG.
[phone ringing]
- I'LL GET IT!
HELLO?
WHO?
JUST A MINUTE.
BETTY, IT'S FOR YOU!
BETTY!
[canned laughter]
- I'M COMING!
♪ ♪
- IS IT GLEN?
- IT'S A GIRL.
- HELLO?
- HELLO, BETTY. THIS IS DOTTY.
- HELLO, DOTTY.
NO. NO, I HAVEN'T A DATE YET.
- OH, WELL, I'M GLAD.
OH, I MEAN, I'M SORRY,
BUT I'M GLAD, TOO.
OH, I'M IN AN AWFUL JAM.
YOU SEE, I CAN'T GO TO
THE HOMECOMING DANCE.
MY AUNT'S GETTING MARRIED
AND WE HAVE TO GO TO
MILWAUKEE THIS WEEKEND.
- OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
GEE, I'M SORRY.
I'LL DO ALL I CAN. NOW,
WHAT'S THE FAVOR?
- GEE, UH, I HATE TO ASK
YOU THIS, BETTY, BUT...
WELL, YOU KNOW, HOWARD
AND I HAVE BEEN GOING STEADY
AND, UH, I HATE TO LEAVE HIM
WANDERING AROUND LOOSE
THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE
AND... WELL, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU'D BE A REAL TRUE-BLUE
FRIEND AND GO WITH HIM.
- WELL, I... I... I SUPPOSE
IF... IF YOU WANT ME TO.
- IT WOULD BE A REAL BIG FAVOR,
AND YOU'RE THE
ONLY ONE I'D ASKED.
YOU'RE THE ONLY
GIRL I CAN TRUST.
OH, I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY.
I KNOW HOWARD WILL
BE SAFE WITH YOU.
[canned laughter]
- OH, SURE. ALL RIGHT.
[canned laughter]
OH, NO, NO, NO. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
BYE.
SO NOW I'M THE
KIND YOU CAN TRUST.
I'M THE SAFE TYPE.
HOW LOW CAN YOU GET?
[canned laughter]
[door slams shut]
- IT'S BEGINNING TO MAKE SENSE?
- WELL, I'M TRYING TO
PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER.
SHE ISN'T GOING TO INTRODUCE
SOME OTHER GIRL TO HER FRIENDS,
AND SHE'S UPSET BECAUSE
SHE CAN BE TRUSTED.
NOW, HOW THOSE TWO FIT
TOGETHER, I DON'T KNOW.
- IF WE ONLY KNOW WHAT
STARTED THIS IN THE BEGINNING.
[doorbell dings]
- IT ABSOLUTELY DEFIES...
- OH, HOW DO YOU DO?
- ARE YOU MR. ANDERSON?
- YES, I AM.
- I'M DIANE MILLS
FROM JUNIOR COLLEGE.
- MM-HM.
- IS, UH, BETTY HOME?
- YES, SHE IS.
WON'T YOU COME IN?
- THANK YOU.
- OH, I'M BETTY'S MOTHER.
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- HELLO.
- BETTY IS, UH, IN HER
ROOM. I'LL CALL HER.
- THANK YOU.
- WELL, COME TO THE LIVING ROOM.
BETTY WILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.
[knocking]
- BETTY?
- WHAT IS IT?
- THERE'S A GIRL FRIEND
OF YOURS DOWNSTAIRS,
DIANE MILLS.
- WHAT DOES SHE WANT?
- WELL, SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU.
- TELL HER I'M NOT HOME.
- BETTY, YOUR MOTHER AND
I HAVE TRIED TO BE PATIENT.
SOMETHING IS TROUBLING YOU,
AND WE'VE OFFERED TO HELP.
NOW, WE HAVEN'T INSISTED THAT
YOU TELL US WHAT THE TROUBLE IS,
EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE BEEN
PRETTY HARD TO LIVE WITH
THE PAST 48 HOURS.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOUR QUARREL IS
WITH THIS GIRL DOWNSTAIRS OR
HOW SHE FIGURES IN YOUR PROBLEM.
BUT I DO KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA
SOLVE ANYTHING BY AVOIDING HER.
- THERE'S NOTHING TO SOLVE.
I SIMPLY DON'T WANNA
SEE HER, THAT'S ALL.
- ARE YOU JEALOUS OF DIANE?
- JEALOUS?
- WELL, ARE YOU?
- I'M MOST CERTAINLY
AND POSITIVELY
AND DEFINITELY AM NOT.
- WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT.
BECAUSE AS A POET ONCE SAID,
"JEALOUSY IS THE
FUME OF LITTLE HEARTS,"
AND I KNOW YOURS
IS NOT A LITTLE HEART.
SHE'S DOWN THERE WAITING.
- OH, THE THINGS YOU MAKE ME DO.
[canned laughter]
[comical music]
♪ ♪
- WE MOVED HERE FROM
CHICAGO ABOUT A WEEK AGO.
IT'S A LOT DIFFERENT.
- OF COURSE, IT IS.
BUT YOU'LL LIKE
SPRINGFIELD AS SOON AS...
OH, DIANE TELLS ME THEY'RE
NEWCOMERS TO SPRINGFIELD.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD
TO MEETING YOUR MOTHER.
I... I HOPE YOU'LL BRING
HER OVER TO SEE US.
- THANK YOU.
I WAS ON MY WAY HOME.
I WONDER IF I COULD
TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE.
- WHAT DO YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT?
- MRS. CARR TOLD ME IF I HAD
ANY QUESTIONS OR PROBLEMS,
I SHOULD ASK YOU.
- WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION?
- WHY IS IT NO ONE
AT SCHOOL LIKES ME?
[dramatic music]
- WELL, THAT'S A
STRANGE QUESTION.
- YOU DON'T LIKE ME.
I COULD SEE IT THIS
AFTERNOON RIGHT AFTER WE MET.
AND AFTER WHAT MRS.
CARR TOLD ME ABOUT YOU,
ABOUT HOW NICE AND
FRIENDLY AND POPULAR YOU ARE
WITH ALL THE OTHER KIDS,
I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU'D BE DIFFERENT.
I THOUGHT PERHAPS
I COULD TALK TO YOU
AND THAT MAYBE WE
COULD BE FRIENDS.
WHAT IS IT I'M DOING WRONG?
WHY WILL NONE OF
THE GIRLS SPEAK TO ME?
IS IT BECAUSE I'M A STRANGER
OR BECAUSE OF THE WAY I DRESS
OR THE WAY I TALK?
YOU MUST KNOW WHAT IT IS, BETTY.
JUST ASK YOURSELF,
"WHY, WHY DO YOU
HATE DIANE MILLS?"
- SHE'S GOT BETTY ON THE SPOT.
- NOW, WE'LL SEE WHAT
KIND OF A DAUGHTER WE HAVE.
♪ ♪
- YOU'RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING WRONG, DIANE.
YOU KNOW THE TROUBLE?
WE'RE JEALOUS.
SOUNDS TERRIBLE,
DOESN'T IT? BUT IT'S TRUE.
JUST LIKE MY FATHER SAID...
I WAS JEALOUS BECAUSE...
WELL, JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER
GIRLS BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY AND...
AND YOU'RE NEW AT SCHOOL...
AND ALL THE BOYS WHISTLE
AT YOU WHEN YOU WALK BY.
THERE'S THE TRUTH.
WE'VE BEEN CHEAP...
PETTY...
AND HATEFUL.
AND I'M SORRY.
FRIENDS?
- [sighs] FRIENDS.
- BY GOLLY, SHE DID IT!
- SHH!
[canned laughter]
- OH, JUST LEAVE
EVERYTHING TO ME.
YOU'LL HAVE A MILLION FRIENDS.
SAY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
GO TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE?
- OH, I'D LOVE TO...
BUT I HAVEN'T A DATE.
BOYS DON'T ASK ME
OUT, THEY JUST WHISTLE.
- [chuckles]
I'LL SEE THAT YOU GET A
DATE WITH GLEN CLARK.
HE'S THE GREATEST.
I'M CHAPERONING DOTTY
SNOW'S BOYFRIEND,
SO WE'LL DOUBLE-DATE, OKAY?
- OH, SURE. THAT'LL BE PERFECT.
- DIANE, NOW THAT
WE KNOW EACH OTHER
AND I'VE ANSWERED
A QUESTION FOR YOU,
WILL YOU ANSWER ONE FOR ME?
- OH, YES, ANYTHING.
- WELL, WHY IS IT THAT
BOYS WHISTLE AT YOU
AND THEY DON'T WHISTLE AT ME?
- THAT'S BECAUSE
I'M NEW IN TOWN.
YOU'VE LIVED HERE ALL YOUR LIFE.
BOYS NEVER WHISTLE AT GIRLS
THEY WENT TO KINDERGARTEN WITH.
- YOU THINK THAT'S IT?
- SURE!
- OH.
[laughter]
- SO THAT'S IT.
THE WHISTLING BUSINESS.
[laughs]
[applause]
[theme music]