Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 2, Episode 4 - First Disillusionment - full transcript

Announcer: ROBERT YOUNG...

AND JANE WYATT.

WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...

SO, YOU JUST FILL
OUT THAT APPLICATION

AND BRING IT BACK, OH, SAY...

TOMORROW? TOMORROW?

IS THAT TOO LATE. WELL, NO.

BUT I JUST DIDN'T THINK
YOU COULD DO IT THAT FAST.

OH, SURE. WELL, I'LL
BE HERE TOMORROW.

UH, WHAT TIME? OH, HOW ABOUT...
- 15?

OKAY. 11:15.



I'LL BE HERE.

WILL I START TO WORK RIGHT AWAY?

WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT TOMORROW.

11:15 A.M., IN THE MORNING.

RIGHT.

WELL, I'LL BE HERE.
SO LONG, MR. STAGG.

OH, ONE MORE THING.

UH, HOW SOON WILL I
GET MY FIRST RAISE?

GENERALLY, NOT UNTIL
AFTER YOU GET THE JOB.

OH. WELL, I GUESS
THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.

I'LL SEE YOU, MR. STAGG.

COLOR EYES.

WHAT COLOR WOULD
YOU SAY MY EYES ARE?

STEEL BLUE?



SEAWEED GREEN, I'D SAY.

AND HURRY UP WITH
THAT SILLY THING.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE DRYING THE DISHES.

IT'S NOT A SILLY THING.

POSITION APPLYING FOR.

HOW DO YOU SPELL
"STOCKROOM BOY?"

HOW DO YOU EXPECT
TO HOLD DOWN A JOB

IF YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL IT?

THEY'RE NOT HIRING ME TO SPELL.

THEY'RE HIRING ME TO WORK.

WHO'S HIRING WHO TO WHAT?

OH, HI, DAD. HI.

GUESS WHAT? I'M
GONNA GO TO WORK.

AT LAST. I'VE BEEN WAITING
A LONG TIME FOR THIS DAY.

DAD, THIS JOB IS THE
GREATEST... NO KIDDING.

I'M GONNA HANDLE
ALL THE SPORTS STUFF

IN THE STOCKROOM AT GORMAN'S...

FOOTBALLS, BASEBALLS...

OH, FISHING RODS,
GUNS... ALL DAY LONG.

WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?

WELL, IT'LL BE AFTER
SCHOOL AND SATURDAYS...

UNTIL VACATION, AND THEN
FULL TIME. PRETTY CRAZY, HUH?

YEAH. HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE
TO PAY THEM FOR A JOB LIKE THAT?

WE'LL THEY'RE GONNA PAY ME!

NO! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

HELLO, DEAR. HONEY.

SORRY I'M LATE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR
YOUNG BUSINESSMAN HERE?

I JUST HOPE HE
DOESN'T HAVE TO LIFT

A LOT OF HEAVY BOXES AND CRATES.

GEE, MOM, I CAN HANDLE IT.

BESIDES, NOW I CAN GET US
ANYTHING WE WANT WHOLESALE.

VOLLEYBALLS, SWEAT
SOCKS, TRACK SHOES...

THAT'S GOOD.
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE

A DECENT PAIR OF
TRACK SHOES TO MY NAME.

WHAT DO HAVE HERE,
AN APPLICATION?

DON'T TAKE THAT.

I WANT TO SERVE
SOME TO YOUR FATHER.

BUT HE DOESN'T LIKE TUNA! SHH!

I'LL TELL HIM IT'S
CREAMED CHICKEN.

THEY CERTAINLY WANT
TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU.

YEAH. I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT TO PUT DOWN HERE.

NAME LAST THREE EMPLOYERS,
STATE SALARY RECEIVED.

I HAVEN'T HAD ANY REAL JOBS.

YOU HAD YOUR PAPER ROUTE.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S NO GOOD
EXPERIENCE FOR A STORE JOB.

I'D BETTER PUT DOWN I
WORKED AT MAXWELL HARDWARE.

THEY HAVE SPORTING GOODS THERE.

STATE SALARY. $20 A WEEK?

I'D BETTER MAKE IT $30. THEY DON'T
WANT NO LITTLE OLD CHEAP GUY.

SON, YOU NEVER WORKED
AT MAXWELL HARDWARE.

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT DOWN
THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE.

WELL, YOU SEE, DAD, WHEN
YOU FILL OUT APPLICATIONS,

YOU GOTTA PUT STUFF LIKE THAT
DOWN TO MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.

OH, DO YOU? YEAH.

SEE, DAD, THAT'S THE
WAY YOU GET JOBS.

YOU MAY GET THEM THAT WAY,

BUT YOU CERTAINLY
WON'T KEEP THEM THAT WAY.

NOW, YOU ERASE ALL THAT
STUFF ABOUT MAXWELL HARDWARE.

HUH? GO ON, ERASE IT.

BUT, DAD... BUD...

AS LONG AS YOU'RE ENTERING
THE BUSINESS WORLD,

YOU MAY AS WELL LEARN
SOMETHING ABOUT ITS BASIC RULES.

AND THE FIRST ONE IS HONESTY.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT STUFF.

A DISHONEST MAN MAY
MAKE A TEMPORARY KILLING,

BUT IT CATCHES UP WITH
HIM SOONER OR LATER.

IN ORDER TO STAY IN BUSINESS,

YOU HAVE TO BE SOMEONE
THAT EVERYONE CAN RELY ON.

YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN
AND EAT THIS WHILE IT'S HOT.

OKAY. BUD, THE BASIC...

IT'S YOUR FAVORITE
DISH... CREAMED CHICKEN.

FINE. BUD, HERE ARE THE
THINGS YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER.

WORK HARD, DO YOUR BEST,

LEARN EVERYTHING YOU
POSSIBLY CAN ABOUT YOUR JOB.

AND ABOVE ALL, BE HONEST.

HONEST IS STILL THE BEST
POLICY. YOU UNDERSTAND?

YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

ERASE ALL THAT PHONY STUFF

AND PUT DOWN THE TRUTH.

OKAY.

MARGARET, I NEED
A FORK. OH, COMING.

I JUST HOPE THIS DOESN'T HURT
MY CHANCES OF GETTING A JOB.

HURT YOUR CHANCES?

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE
VERY THING THAT'LL HELP YOU GET IT?

WHAT HAVE I JUST
BEEN TELLING YOU?

YEAH, SURE, DAD.

WHERE DOES HE PICK
UP IDEAS LIKE THIS?

CERTAINLY NOT FROM ME.

I THINK I KNOW WHERE.
I'D BETTER CONFESS.

THAT'S NOT CHICKEN
AT ALL. IT'S TUNA.

"AND SO TWEETY HANDED THE
WALRUS HIS MISSING TUSK..."

DAD? "THE WALRUS SAID...

"THANK YOU VERY KINDLY, MA'AM.

"AND HE SWAM AWAY,

ONCE AGAIN A HAPPY,
WELL-ADJUSTED WALRUS."

DAD. READ IT AGAIN.

AGAIN? I READ IT THREE TIMES.

WELL, I WASN'T PAYING
ANY ATTENTION. OH.

DAD, YOU'VE GOT TO SIGN
THIS APPLICATION, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

I, UH... I JUST PUT DOWN
THE TRUTH, LIKE YOU SAID.

I FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT.

SURE YOU DO. YOU SEE,
BUD, IN BUSINESS, AS IN LIFE,

IF YOU STICK TO THE RULES,
OVER THE LONG HAUL...

YEAH, I KNOW, DAD.
NO MORE LECTURES.

OKAY. SORRY, OLD MAN.

HOW MUCH CHANCE DO YOU THINK
YOU HAVE OF GETTING THIS JOB?

I'VE GOT IT... PRACTICALLY.

MR. STAGG... HE'S THE
EMPLOYMENT MANAGER...

SAID THAT THIS APPLICATION
IS JUST ROUTINE RED TAPE.

HE'S A SWELL GUY. FINE, SON.

WELL, YOUR FIRST JOB.

WHAT TIME DO YOU
HAVE TO BE THERE?

11:15 A.M. SHARP.

SAY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

WHEN YOU GET
THROUGH WITH MR. STAGG,

MEET ME AT SARNO'S...
IN THE MEN'S GRILL.

WE'LL HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER,
SORT OF A CELEBRATION.

GEE, DAD, DO YOU
REALLY MEAN THAT?

SURE, I DO. AS LONG AS
YOU'RE A BUSINESSMAN,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET
USED TO HOBNOBBING WITH US.

SO, I'LL SEE YOU
AT NOON, OLD MAN.

AND AS FOR YOU... GOOD NIGHT.

GEE, YOU GET TO EAT LUNCH,

AND ALL I GET TO
DO IS GO TO SLEEP.

TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU GO TO SLEEP LIKE
A GOOD LITTLE GIRL,

AND I'LL BRING YOU HOME
SOMETHING FROM MY STORE.

LIKE A... A PUNCHING BAG?

A PUNCHING BAG?

OKAY, A PUNCHING BAG.

WHEW.

HI, BUD.

OH, HI, EDDIE. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, NOTHING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

TRYING TO GET A JOB.
STOCKROOM BOY. YEAH?

YOU OUGHT TO SEE ALL THE
JUNK THEY MAKE YOU FILL OUT.

LOOK HERE. I PUT DOWN
THREE YEARS' EXPERIENCE

AS A STOCK BOY AND THE
HILLSBOROUGH SPORTS SHOP.

BUT YOU NEVER LIVED
IN HILLSBOROUGH.

I NEVER WAS A STOCK
BOY. BUT SO WHAT?

LOOK HERE. TWO
YEARS' EXPERIENCE AS...

HI, MR. STAGG. I'M
EDDIE WARDLOW.

GOT HER ALL FILLED OUT.

OKAY, MR. STAGG, THANKS A LOT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, EDDIE.

SEE YOU AROUND, GUY.

MR. STAGG? I'VE GOT IT.

I WAS HERE BEFORE EDDIE, BUT...

OH, YES, YES. THIS IS FINE, BUD.

I'LL, UH... I'LL FILE IT,

AND THE MINUTE SOMETHING
COMES UP IN THE FUTURE,

I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
IN THE FUTURE?

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE
JOB... STOCKROOM BOY?

WELL, BUD, I'M SORRY,

BUT THAT POSITION
HAS BEEN FILLED.

BUT YESTERDAY YOU SAID...

WHO... WHO GOT
IT? EDDIE WARDLOW?

YES. YOU SEE, EDDIE'S HAD
QUITE A BIT OF EXPERIENCE.

STOCKROOM BOY OVER AT
THE HILLSBOROUGH STORE.

AND I SEE HERE BY
YOUR APPLICATION

THAT YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY.

BUT, UH, I'LL KEEP YOU IN MIND

IF ANYTHING COMES UP, BUD.

GOOD LUCK, BOY.

BUD! BUD!

OVER HERE.

I WAS AFRAID YOU
WEREN'T GOING TO MAKE IT.

HOW DID IT GO? GIVE
ME ALL THE DETAILS.

HIYA, FRANK. FUTURE
PRESIDENT OF GORMAN'S.

I WAS TELLING FRANK CONWAY
ALL ABOUT YOU THIS MORNING.

WELL, HURRY UP, SON.
TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

WHEN DO YOU START?
HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE?

WELL, WELL.

IS THIS THE BIG BUSINESSMAN?

THIS IS THE ONE. WHAT
DO YOU THINK, GUS?

YOU'RE A JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
WILL HE MAKE THE GRADE?

WELL, IF HE'S LIKE HIS POP,

YOU'VE GOT NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU HEAR THAT, SON?

WE'D BETTER ORDER. I
HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST, GUS?
WE WANT THE VERY BEST TODAY.

Gus: THE POT ROAST IS VERY GOOD.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ELIGIBLE FOR
THE BUSINESSMAN'S LUNCH NOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,
BUD? THE POT ROAST?

I'M NOT VERY HUNGRY.

TAKE YOUR TIME. I'LL BE BACK.

WHAT'S THE TROUBLE,
BUD? SOMETHING GO WRONG?

ALL THAT STUFF YOU TOLD ME...

THE BUSINESS RULES
AND HONESTY GOOP...

IT'S ALL A BUNK!

BUD. BUD!

NO, I DIDN'T GET
ANYWHERE WITH HIM.

HE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.

OH, IT SEEMS TOO BAD THAT
EDDIE WARDLOW GOT THE JOB

AFTER PUTTING
DOWN ALL THOSE LIES.

AND BUD'S PRETTY MAD
AT IGNORANT OLD ME

FOR NOT LETTING HIM DO
THE SAME SORT OF THING.

I HOPE IT DOESN'T TURN HIM
INTO AN UNBELIEVING CYNIC.

THERE'S NO TELLING
HOW HE'LL REACT.

IT IS PRETTY ROUGH
WHEN YOU BUMP UP

AGAINST THAT FIRST
DISILLUSIONMENT,

WHEN YOU SUDDENLY
DISCOVER THAT THE ADULT WORLD

IS A FEW SHABBY SEAMS.

Kathy: OW! CUT IT OUT, BUD!

MOMMY! DADDY! HELP!

KATHY, BE CAREFUL!

KATHY, I WISH YOU'D COME
DOWNSTAIRS MORE QUIETLY.

GEE, DADDY, BUD'S
GONNA MOW ME DOWN.

OH. JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

I JUST ASKED HIM
IF HE BROUGHT ME

MY PUNCHING BAG FROM GORMAN'S,

AND HE THREW A SHOE AT ME!

WELL, HE'S HAD A
PRETTY ROUGH DAY.

YOU JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND GO
TO BED, AND DON'T BOTHER HIM.

OH, OKAY.

AND DON'T RETALIATE!

I'M NOT. I'M JUST
GONNA SLUG HIM.

FATHER... DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT THE
SMOOT-HAWLEY TARIFF BILL?

WELL, I...

I'M SUPPOSED TO HAND
IN A PAPER ON IT MONDAY,

AND THERE WASN'T
ANYTHING IN THE LIBRARY ON IT.

NOW WHAT DO I DO? WELL...

JANIE HAS THE PAPER
SHE WROTE ON IT.

SHE SAID I COULD
HAND THAT IN, BUT...

THAT SEEMS JUST LIKE CHEATING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, FATHER?

WELL... EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.

I'LL CHANGE IT A
LITTLE, BUT STILL...

WHERE ARE YOU
GONNA WISE UP, SIS?

WHAT?

TAKE THE PAPER, COPY IT.

GET SMART. LEARN
A LITTLE ABOUT LIFE.

OH, POOH. WHAT DO
YOU KNOW ABOUT LIFE?

PLENTY. I'VE BEEN AROUND.

LET ME GIVE YOU
SOME ADVICE, KID.

YES, GRANDPA?

TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET. SEE, KID?

AND IT DON'T MATTER
HOW YOU GET IT.

AND DON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE PUT
ANY OTHER FOOL IDEAS IN YOUR HEAD.

THANK YOU KINDLY.
NOW GO TO BED, SONNY,

AND DON'T FALL OUT OF YOUR CRIB.

OKAY, OKAY. GO ALONG
WITH HIS BIG HONESTY DEAL,

AND SEE WHERE IT GETS YOU.

BUT JUST DON'T SAY
I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

I WAS AFRAID HE'D
REACT THIS WAY.

WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.

SEE, KID?

WELL, SOMETHING'S
GOT TO BE DONE ABOUT IT.

THAT EDDIE WARDLOW'S A CREEP!

HE'S GOT NO RIGHT TO THAT JOB.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO ABOUT IT? HE'S IN.

SO WE GOTTA GET HIM OUT.

GET THE BUM OUT OF THERE, RIGHT?

RIGHT. RIGHT.

BUT HOW?

YEAH. WE NEED SOMETHING CLEVER.

OH, WHY DON'T YOU BEAT HIM UP?

WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT DO?

BESIDES, HE'S BIGGER THAN I AM.

YEAH.

GOT TO GET HIM FIRED.

MAYBE... WE WRITE
MR. STAGG A LETTER

AND SAY EDDIE'S A CROOK,

AND SIGN IT WITH SOME
ANONYMOUS NAME.

HEY, WE CAN MAKE
IT BE FROM THE GUY

HE CLAIMED TO WORK
FOR IN HILLSBOROUGH.

AND YOU AND I KNOW
THERE'S NO SUCH GUY.

COME ON, JOE!

UH... READ ME AGAIN

WHAT YOU'VE GOT DOWN SO FAR.

"DEAR MR. STAGG,

EMPLOYMENT MANAGER...
GORMAN'S DEPARTMENT STORE."

THAT'S A DARN GOOD START.

UH, HOW ABOUT THIS?

"EDDIE WARDLOW, YOUR
NEW STOCK BOY, IS A CROOK."

NO, JOE. YOU CAN'T COME
RIGHT OUT AND SAY THAT,

OR HE COULD SUE US... I THINK.

BUT HE WON'T KNOW WHO WROTE IT.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT YOU GOTTA SAY IT

SO IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE
SAYING SOMETHING ELSE.

YEAH. HOW ABOUT THIS?

"EDDIE WARDLOW WORKED FOR ME.

AND HE'S A GOOD BOY...
EXCEPT HE'S A CROOK."

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. BUT...

WELL, IT DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE A BIG EXECUTIVE WROTE IT.

YEAH.

HEY, MAYBE THIS WILL HELP US.

IT TELLS HOW TO WRITE
ALL KINDS OF LETTERS.

YEAH, LET'S SEE THAT.

"LADY CONGRATULATING A
YOUNG LADY ON HER MARRIAGE.

DEAR JULIA..."

I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED.
I WANT TO GET A GUY FIRED.

OH, HERE'S A BUSINESS LETTER.

"MESSRS. CALLOWS
AND CLETRO, BOSTON.

SIRS, PLEASE SEND
ME, BY EXPRESS..."

THESE ARE NO GOOD.

HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT ONE?
REGISTRY AND COMPLAINT.

YEAH, LET'S SEE THAT.

"APRIL 10, 1901. DEAR MO..."

THESE ARE KIND OF
OLD, AREN'T THEY?

SO WHAT? STUFF LIKE
THIS DOESN'T CHANGE.

GO ON. WHAT'S IT SAY?

"DEAR MAUDY, IT IS WITH PAIN
I WRITE TO YOU IN AUGHT..."

"AUGHT"? WHAT DOES "AUGHT" MEAN?

ZERO, NOTHING, BLANK.

THAT'S EDDIE, ALL RIGHT.

"IT IS WITH PAIN I
WRITE TO YOU IN AUGHT

"THAT CAN SEEM LIKE
A STRAIN OF REPROACH,

"BUT I MUST CONFESS I WAS VEXED
WITH YOUR FLIRTATIOUS CONDUCT

TOWARDS MR. WATSON LAST NIGHT."

MR. WATSON? GO ON.
THIS IS INTERESTING.

YEAH, BUT IT AIN'T
HELPING US ANY.

WAIT. THAT FIRST
PART, ABOUT THE PAIN.

THAT SOUNDED GOOD. USE THAT.

YEAH, THAT'S WASN'T
BAD. READ IT TO ME.

"DEAR MAUDY, IT IS WITH..."

NOT MAUDY, YOU
DOPE. STAGG, I MEAN.

Joe: "IT IS WITH PAIN I
WRITE TO YOU IN AUGHT

THAT CAN SEEM LIKE A
STRAIN OF REPROACH."

Bud: NOT SO FAST.

"BUT I CONFESS..." EDDIE
WARDLOW'S A CROOK.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?

OH. HI, MOM.

WE'RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING. SCHOOLWORK.

YEAH, SCHOOLWORK.

JUST WHAT ARE YOU
STUDYING... OLD ENGLISH?

YEAH. SAME OLD ENGLISH.

WHAT DOES EDDIE WARDLOW
HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

OH, WELL, HE'S, UH...

WELL, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WRITE
A THEME ABOUT A CHUM OF OURS...

DESCRIBE HIM AND ALL, YOU KNOW.

HMM. I'M SURE IT'LL BE
QUITE A VIVID DESCRIPTION.

UH, WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED,
I'D BE GLAD TO GO OVER IT

AND, UH, CORRECT
THE PUNCTUATION.

THINK SHE SUSPECTS ANYTHING?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT
WE'D BETTER HURRY UP

AND GET THAT LETTER
OUT TO THE MAILMAN.

Bud: THE COAST IS CLEAR.

GO ON, JOE.

Kathy: MOMMY!

LOOK, MOMMY! I GOT A B+!

THAT'S FINE. BUT I CAN'T
LOOK AT IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

WE HAD TO WRITE ABOUT THE
STRANGEST CHARACTER WE EVER MET,

SO I WROTE ABOUT BUD.

OH, YOU SHOULDN'T WRITE
THINGS ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING BAD.

I JUST SAID HE
WAS KIND OF GOOFY.

YOU KNOW, HE EATS PEANUT BUTTER
AND BANANA SANDWICHES, AND...

MOMMY, YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.

YES, I AM. UM, ANGEL,
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK,

AND THEN I'LL LISTEN
TO THE WHOLE THING.

I WONDER IF WE'VE
GOT ANY BANANAS.

THAT MIGHT BE GOOD.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MRS.
ANDERSON. IT'S A NICE DAY.

I RECKON YOU WANT THIS MAILED.

WELL, I, UH... I REALLY...

WELL, YOU HAVEN'T GOT
ENOUGH POSTAGE ON HERE.

ONE PENNY SHORT.

HOW LUCKY.

OH, I MEAN, UH... WELL, THANKS.

Jim: MARGARET, I'M HOME!

OH. HI, HONEY.

JIM... I WANT YOU
TO LOOK AT THIS.

OH, I'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF
FOR DISTRUSTING BUD,

AND I KNOW IT'S WRONG
TO INTERFERE WITH...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

READ THIS. BUD WROTE
IT WITH JOE'S HELP.

AND THANK GOODNESS THERE
WASN'T ENOUGH POSTAGE ON IT.

"IT'S WITH PAIN I WRITE
TO YOU IN AUGHT..."

WHERE'D HE GET THIS
ARCHAIC LANGUAGE?

FROM A BOOK.
READ THE REST OF IT.

"THAT CAN SEEM LIKE
A STRAIN OF REPROACH,

"BUT FEEL IT MY DUTY
TO... ADVICE YOU"?

"REGARDS A BOY WHOSE
NAME I SHAN'T MENTION

BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO
HURT HIS MOTHER, MRS. WARDLOW."

OH, GET THIS CLOSING.

"WOULDN'T SAY
ANYTHING AGAINST HIM,

AND I HOPE YOU CAN
KEEP HIM OUT OF JAIL."

WELL, IT IS FUNNY.

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT

THAT BUD WOULD RESORT
TO A THING LIKE THIS.

HERE'S THE FUNNY PART.
THEY ARE GONNA FIRE EDDIE.

WHAT?

EDDIE'S SO IMPOSSIBLE,
THEY CAN'T USE HIM.

SO, NOW BUD HAS A
CHANCE FOR THE JOB.

WELL, AFTER THIS LETTER, I DON'T
THINK HE DESERVES ANOTHER CHANCE.

I THINK YOU OUGHT TO
CONFRONT HIM WITH IT

AND EXPLAIN THAT THAT'S
NOT THE WAY YOU GO ABOUT...

NO, HE DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE
LECTURES FROM ME RIGHT NOW.

KNOW WHAT, THOUGH?

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO LET BUD
THINK THIS LETTER WAS MAILED,

LET HIM THINK IT WORKED.

LET HIM FIND OUT ABOUT
EDDIE BEING FIRED, AND THEN...

SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

BUT, JIM, IF BUD
DOES GET THE JOB,

HE'D BE MORE CONVINCED
THAN EVER THAT...

WELL, THAT DISHONESTY
IS THE ANSWER.

NO, I DOUBT THAT.

I KNOW AT TIMES IT
SEEMS OUR TRAINING

IS GOING ONE HOLE OF HIS
HEAD AND OUT ANOTHER,

BUT IT'S RATTLING AROUND IN
THERE SOMEPLACE. IT'LL SHOW ITSELF.

HIS CONSCIENCE WON'T
LET HIM TAKE THE JOB.

I HOPE.

Joe: HEY, BUD! HOLD IT!

IT WORKED! IT WORKED! WHAT?

THE JOB. I JUST TALKED TO
EDDIE. THEY GAVE HIM THE SACK!

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!

GEE, IT SURE WORKED FAST.
DID HE MENTION THE LETTER?

NO, I DON'T EVEN THINK HE
KNEW WHAT HIT HIM! HA HA!

WELL, I GOTTA GO DOWN
AND SEE MR. STAGG.

YEAH, BEFORE SOMEBODY
ELSE ACES YOU OUT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING...

MY OLD MAN, HE'S
LIVED A LONG LIFE

AND WORKED HARD, MEANS WELL.

BUT I'VE LEARNED
MORE IN A HALF A WEEK

THAN HE HAS IN 40 YEARS.

YEAH, THEY AREN'T TOO
SMART, THAT'S FOR SURE.

YEAH. I BETTER BE GOING.

Betty: BUD!

OH, BUD, WAIT A MINUTE.
WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

MOTHER'S NOT HOME, AND I
HAVE TO GO DOWN TO THE LIBRARY

AND DO SOME MAKE-UP WORK, 'CAUSE
I DIDN'T HAND IN THAT TERM PAPER.

WOULDN'T LISTEN
TO ME, WOULD YOU?

OH, SHUSH. ANYWAY, WILL YOU
TELL MOTHER WHY I'LL BE LATE?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TIME I'M GONNA BE HOME.

I GOTTA GO DOWN TO
GORMAN'S AND PICK UP THAT JOB.

BUT... BUT I THOUGHT...

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER BOY?

OH, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

THERE GOES ANOTHER ONE, JOE.

YOU KNOW, I'VE JUST REALIZED

WHY THERE'S SO FEW REALLY
SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

THERE ARE SO FEW OF
US THAT KNOW THE KEY.

I WANT TO TELL YOU A
FEW THINGS IN CONFIDENCE.

EDDIE WAS NOT VERY DEPENDABLE.

WE COULDN'T EXACTLY TRUST
HIM IN, UH, SMALL WAYS, YOU KNOW.

YES, I KNOW.

I'M NOT IMPLYING
THAT HE'D TAKE THINGS,

OR ANYTHING LIKE
THAT, UNDERSTAND.

BUT, WELL, IN MATTERS OF, UH...

LIKE IN THE LETTER.
YES, LIKE IN, UH...

WHAT LETTER?

DIDN'T YOU GET IT YET?

OR... I MEAN...

WAS I SUPPOSED TO GET A LETTER?

NO, NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

I MUST'VE BEEN THINKING
OF SOMETHING ELSE.

FOR INSTANCE, EDDIE SAID SOME
VERY NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU.

AND I DON'T LIKE THAT, BUD.

OH, THANK YOU, MYRA.

WELL, ANYWAY, WE STARTED
TO HAVE OUR DOUBTS

AFTER WE CHECKED
ON EDDIE'S APPLICATION

AND FOUND OUT THAT
HE'D MADE MOST OF IT UP.

YOU CAN FIGURE THAT IF A
BOY IS DECEITFUL IN ONE THING,

HE'S GOING TO BE
DECEITFUL IN OTHERS.

NOW, YOU DIDN'T DO THAT.

YOU, UH, PUT DOWN THE TRUTH.

NOW YOU CAN SEE WHY
I'VE TOLD YOU ALL THIS.

BUT REMEMBER... I DON'T WANT
IT TO GO ANY FURTHER THAN THIS.

UH, COULD I JUST
SORT OF STICK AROUND

AND CLEAN UP THE OFFICE FOR YOU?

OH, NO, NO. YOU JUST BE
HERE MONDAY AFTER SCHOOL,

AND BRING THAT
ENTHUSIASM WITH YOU.

GEE, I'M SORRY. I'LL
PICK THEM UP FOR YOU.

OH, NO, NO. THAT
WON'T BE NECESSARY.

YOU DON'T START
WORKING UNTIL MONDAY.

Mr. Stagg: I WANT TO TELL YOU
A FEW THINGS IN CONFIDENCE.

EDDIE SAID SOME VERY
NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU,

AND I DON'T LIKE THAT, BUD.

YOU PUT DOWN THE TRUTH.

Bud: DAD? DAD?

DAD, ARE YOU ASLEEP?

HMM? SOMEBODY CALL ME?

IS THAT YOU, BUD?

I GOTTA TALK TO YOU, DAD.

SURE, SON.

SOMETHING WRONG?

YEAH, SORT OF.

I DID A DUMB THING.

I GUESS WE ALL DO AT TIMES.

BUT THIS IS THE WORST.

MR. STAGG'S GONNA
GET... A CERTAIN LETTER.

WHEN HE READS IT, HE'LL
KNOW WHO WROTE IT,

AND I'LL LOSE MY JOB.

BUT THAT ISN'T THE WORST.

THE WORST IS THAT HE'LL KNOW

WHAT A NO-GOOD NOTHING I AM.

A KNIFER IN THE BACKER,
A MENACE TO SOCIETY.

YOU MEAN THIS ONE... MENACE?

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

IT, UH, IT WAS RETURNED.
NOT ENOUGH POSTAGE.

OH, MAN.

DAD, DON'T EVER READ THIS.

I'VE READ IT.

YOU HAVE?

PRETTY CHEAP TRICK, HUH?

MM-HMM.

I... I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVER...

I SURE AM A STUPID
GOOF, AIN'T I?

YEAH.

AND THE DAY YOU REALIZE THAT...

THAT'S THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM.

I'M SURE I HAD
CANNED PUMPKIN HERE.

I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING
A PUMPKIN PIE FOR TONIGHT.

YOUR FATHER COMPLAINS THAT I NEVER
BAKE ANYTHING LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

HI, MOM. HI, SIS. HI, DEAR.

HEY, WHERE'S KATHY? I BROUGHT
HER HOME SOMETHING FROM MY STORE.

IN BACK PLAYING, I THINK.

BETTY, SEE IF THERE'S SOME
SQUASH IN THE FREEZER.

THAT MIGHT DO. BUT
YOUR FATHER SAYS

IT'S NOWHERE NEAR
AS GOOD AS PUMPKIN.

OH, GO AHEAD AND USE IT.

HE WON'T BE ABLE TO
TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

HEY, DON'T KID YOURSELF.

THERE'S ONE OF THE SMARTEST
GUYS THAT EVER HIT THIS EARTH.

WELL, THAT'S FINE
COMING FROM YOU.

TWO DAYS AGO, YOU
WERE GOING AROUND HERE

SAYING WHAT A STUPID
OLD MAN HE WAS.

I WAS JUST THINKING
ABOUT THAT TODAY.

HOW DO YOU EVER SUPPOSE HE
LEARNED SO MUCH IN JUST TWO DAYS?