Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 2, Episode 28 - Family Dines Out - full transcript

The Andersons face a dilemma when Betty promises a wealthy friend that they will attend an exclusive charity dinner on the same night that Bud needs the family to eat at the modest drugstore counter where he has just gotten his first job.

Announcer: SCOTT PAPER COMPANY
TAKES PLEASURE IN PRESENTING...

ROBERT YOUNG...

AND JANE WYATT.

WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...

MARGARET?

MARGARET. YES, JIM?

SEE IF YOU CAN GET BUD
OFF THE PHONE, WILL YOU?

I CAN'T LEAVE THE WINDOW, DEAR.

KATHY, STOP PUSHING.

BUT I WANT TO SEE, TOO.

IF HE HANGS ONTO THAT
PHONE MUCH LONGER,



IT'LL GROW ON HIM.

I WISH SHE'D HURRY.

ME, TOO. I'VE GOT THINGS TO DO.

DON'T YOU KNOW IT ISN'T POLITE
TO WATCH YOUR NEIGHBORS?

MOVE OVER.

WE'RE WATCHING FOR
BETTY. IS THAT ALL?

SHE CALLED A WHILE AGO,

AND ASKED US TO BE SURE
AND LOOK OUT THE WINDOW

AT EXACTLY 5:30.

SHE SAID SHE HAD A
BIG SURPRISE FOR US.

KNOWING BETTY, THAT
COULD MEAN ANYTHING

FROM A NEW BOYFRIEND
TO AN ELEPHANT.

I HOPE IT IS AN ELEPHANT.

IF IT'S ANYTHING
EARTH-SHAKING, LET ME KNOW.



DADDY! LOOK! JIM!

NO WONDER SHE WANTED
US TO WATCH FOR HER.

THAT IS A BIG
SURPRISE, ALL RIGHT.

I THINK AN ELEPHANT'S
A BIGGER SURPRISE.

WHO'S CAR IS IT, MARGARET?

I GUESS IT MUST BELONG
TO THE SANFORDS.

BETTY WAS INVITED TO A LUNCHEON
GIVEN BY THEIR DAUGHTER TODAY.

SHE'S IN PRETTY
EXPENSIVE COMPANY.

I HAD SUCH A NICE TIME,
ELOISE. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

YOU'RE VERY WELCOME, BETTY.

I'M SO GLAD I HAD THE
CHANCE TO MEET YOU.

ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN'T
COME IN AND MEET MY FAMILY?

I WISH I COULD.

BUT I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH
MY DRESSMAKER IN A FEW MINUTES.

ANYWAY, I'LL GET TO MEET YOUR
FAMILY TOMORROW NIGHT AT THE CLUB.

YES. YES, OF COURSE.

I'M SO GLAD THEY'LL BE THERE.

I AM, TOO.

OH, ARE YOU GOING TO
WEAR A SHORT BLOUSE

OR A LONG BLOUSE
WITH YOUR DRESS?

WELL, I... I GUESS SHORT.

I WILL, TOO, THEN.

SHE CERTAINLY CARRIED
HERSELF WITH DIGNITY.

THE WAY SHE HELD
HER NOSE IN THE AIR,

IT'S A WONDER SHE DIDN'T
FALL ON HER DIGNITY.

COME HERE, KATHY.

LET'S HAVE SOME FUN WITH BETTY.

MOTHER, WHAT HAPPENED?!

WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE WINDOW?

OH, BETTY. IT
ISN'T 5:30 YET, IS IT?

OF COURSE IT IS.
MOTHER, YOU PROMISED.

OH, I'M SORRY, DEAR. I DIDN'T
REALIZE HOW LATE IT WAS.

MARGARET, BETTY,
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP.

WELL, ISN'T THIS JUST FINE!

IF MRS. MARTIN, WHO
LIVES FIVE BLOCKS AWAY,

AS MUCH AS CHANGES THE
PART IN HER HAIR, YOU KNOW IT.

BUT TODAY, WHEN YOUR
OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

ARRIVES HOME IN A LIMOUSINE WITH
A CHAUFFER, YOU AREN'T WATCHING.

YAP, YAP, YAP, YAP.

CHAUFFER? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

MOTHER, HOW CAN
YOU DO THIS TO ME?

ALL I ASKED WAS THAT YOU...

HEY, BETTY! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

NO, I'M MISERABLE.

I WAS AFRAID SOMETHING
HAPPENED TO YOU.

I COULD ELOPE WITH THE
ENTIRE FOREIGN LEGION,

AND NO ONE AROUND
HERE WOULD EVEN NOTICE.

DIDN'T YOU JUST COME
HOME IN AN AMBULANCE?

AN AMBULANCE?!

I WAS TALKING TO JOE
PHILLIPS OVER THE PHONE,

AND HIS GRANDMOTHER
HOLLERED TO HIM

THAT AN AMBULANCE JUST STOPPED
OUT IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE.

IT WASN'T AN AMBULANCE.

AND SHE SAID A MAN IN A
UNIFORM HELPED YOU OUT.

THE MAN IN THE UNIFORM
WAS A CHAUFFER.

THEN WHAT WAS HE
DOING IN AN AMBULANCE?

OH, BUD.

BUD, LET ME CLARIFY
THE SITUATION FOR YOU.

IN THE FIRST PLACE, JOE PHILLIPS'
GRANDMOTHER IS NEARSIGHTED.

AND IN THE SECOND
PLACE, THE CAR SHE SAW

WAS A LIMOUSINE OWNED
BY ELOISE SANFORD'S FATHER.

YOUR SISTER HAD
LUNCHEON THIS AFTERNOON,

AND THEIR CHAUFFER
DROVE HER HOME.

OH. BIG DEAL, HUH?

VERY BIG.

OH, YOU DID SEE ME.

YOU DON'T THINK WE'D MISS
A CHANCE LIKE THAT, DO YOU?

YOU HAD ME WORRIED.

YOU LOOKED LIKE MRS.
VAN ASTORBILT HERSELF.

OH, I WAS REALLY LIVING!

BOY, THE SANFORDS
MUST HAVE A LOT OF MONEY

TO OWN A TRAVEL BUGGY LIKE THAT.

THAT'S NOTHING.
THEY ALSO HAVE A JEEP,

A STATION WAGON, A CONVERTIBLE.

AND YOU SHOULD SEE THEIR HOUSE.

TENNIS COURTS, A SWIMMING POOL.

THEY EVEN HAVE A BUTLER.

WHAT'S A BUTLER?

OH, SOMEONE WHO
OPENS DOORS FOR YOU.

CAN'T THEY OPEN THEIR OWN DOORS?

WHEN YOU HAVE THAT
MUCH MONEY, KITTEN,

DOORS ARE OPENED FOR YOU.

YOU'LL LIKE ELOISE.
SHE'S SUCH A NICE GIRL.

HOW OLD IS SHE?

ABOUT THE SAME AGE AS I.

IS SHE PRETTY? VERY.

THINK SHE COULD GET
INTERESTED IN A YOUNGER MAN?

SHE'S ALSO SMART, BUD,
WHICH LETS YOU OUT.

WITH THAT MUCH MONEY, I
WON'T HOLD THAT AGAINST HER.

YOU'LL WANT TO MEET
THE SANFORDS, WON'T YOU?

THAT'D BE VERY NICE, BETTY.

HOW ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT?

WELL, LET'S NOT RUSH IT.

BUT THE OPENING OF THE NEW
COUNTRY CLUB IS TOMORROW NIGHT.

I'M AFRAID IT'LL JUST
HAVE TO OPEN WITHOUT US.

BUT WE'VE GOT TO
BE THERE, MOTHER.

WHY? WELL...

BECAUSE ANYBODY WHO'S
ANYBODY WILL BE THERE.

IT'S THE SOCIAL
EVENT OF THE SEASON.

IT'S ALSO THE MOST EXPENSIVE.

BUT WHAT'LL THE SANFORDS
THINK IF WE DON'T GO?

BETTY, IT'S DIFFICULT
ENOUGH NOWADAYS

TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONESES.

DON'T EXPECT US TO KEEP UP
WITH PEOPLE LIKE THE SANFORDS.

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS TERRIBLY
IMPORTANT TO ME.

BETTY, DID YOU TELL
ELOISE WE'D BE THERE?

WELL... IN SORT OF A
ROUNDABOUT WAY, YES.

BETTY, I'M SURPRISED AT YOU.

THAT'S OUT OF OUR
LEAGUE AND YOU KNOW IT.

NOW, FORGET IT. WE AREN'T GOING.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE SAYING NO?

IN A SORT OF ROUNDABOUT
WAY, YES... I'M SAYING NO.

OH, MY GOSH!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I JUST REMEMBERED...

JOE'S STILL WAITING ON THE PHONE

TO FIND OUT IF THAT WAS
AN AMBULANCE OR NOT.

DINNER'S READY, BUD. OKAY, DAD.

SAY, DAD... YEAH?

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

OF COURSE, SON.

WHAT IS IT?

I'M TRYING TO MAKE
A BIG DECISION. OH?

EVER SINCE BETTY TOLD
US ABOUT ALL THE CARS

AND EVERYTHING
THE SANFORDS HAVE,

I'VE BEEN THINKING I'D LIKE
TO HAVE A LOT OF MONEY, TOO.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING
WRONG WITH THAT.

HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GET IT?

THAT'S THE DECISION
I'M TRYING TO MAKE.

YOU KNOW, BUD, IT TOOK
A GREAT MANY YEARS

FOR MR. SANFORD TO
ACCUMULATE HIS WEALTH.

IT WASN'T DONE OVERNIGHT.

HOW DID HE DO IT?

BY HARD WORK.

HE STARTED OUT AS A
LUMBERJACK, SWINGING AN AX.

HE WASN'T MUCH OLDER THAN
YOU ARE AT THE TIME, EITHER.

SAVED HIS MONEY, BOUGHT A
LOT OF LAND COVERED WITH TREES.

FROM THERE, HE WENT INTO THE
PAPER MANUFACTURING BUSINESS.

NOW HE OWNS LARGE
LUMBER INTERESTS

ALL OVER THE WORLD.

GUESS THAT LETS ME OUT. WHY?

I CAN'T EVEN CHOP A
LOG FOR THE FIREPLACE

WITHOUT GETTING BLISTERS.

YOU DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO
START OUT AS A LUMBERJACK, BUD.

THERE ARE A GREAT
MANY FIELDS OPEN TODAY

IF YOU'RE WILLING TO START
AT THE BOTTOM AND WORK UP.

ALL IT TAKES IS HARD WORK,

PERSEVERANCE, DETERMINATION.

THAT'S THE WONDERFUL
THING ABOUT LIVING IN AMERICA...

ANYONE WHO IS NOT AFRAID OF WORK

CAN HAVE A CHANCE
TO BE A SUCCESS.

I'M NOT AFRAID OF WORK, DAD.

IT'S JUST THAT I HAVEN'T
GOT ANY TALENT TO GO WITH IT.

YOU HAVE CHARM, BUD.
DON'T FORGET THAT.

YEAH, BUT THE KIND OF
CHARM I GOT NEEDS MONEY.

Jim: BETTY?

WHAT IS IT, FATHER?

YOU'VE BEEN TREATING
ME ALL EVENING

LIKE I WAS A STRANGER.

I'M SORRY.

DON'T I EVEN RATE
A "GOOD NIGHT"?

GOOD NIGHT, FATHER.

MAYBE I'D BETTER
INTRODUCE MYSELF.

I'M JAMES ANDERSON, SR.

WE HAVE A CUSTOM HERE IN
THE ANDERSON HOUSEHOLD.

WHEN WE SAY "GOOD
NIGHT", WE DO IT WITH A SMILE.

GOOD NIGHT.

BETTY, DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME

THAT GOING TO THIS
OPENING TOMORROW NIGHT

MEANS SO MUCH TO YOU?

IT DOES.

WELL, WHY?

BECAUSE I TOLD
ELOISE WE'D BE THERE.

WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU, BETTY?

THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU.

I KNOW.

FATHER, THERE WAS SOMETHING
ABOUT RIDING IN THAT LIMOUSINE,

SEEING THEIR HOME,

THE SERVANTS, THE WAY
THEY LIVE AND EVERYTHING...

WHEN SHE ASKED ME IF WE WERE
GOING TO BE THERE TOMORROW NIGHT,

I SAID YES.

NOT ONLY THAT,
BUT I MADE IT SOUND

LIKE WE ALWAYS GO TO
SOCIAL FUNCTIONS LIKE THAT.

AND AFTER I SAID IT,

AND SHE BELIEVED ME, IT
WAS TOO LATE TO BACK OUT.

FATHER, IF WE DON'T GO,

SHE'LL NOT ONLY
THINK I'M A LIAR,

BUT THAT I'M TRYING TO
PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING I'M NOT.

AND AREN'T YOU?

NOT REALLY.

I JUST DON'T WANT HER
TO THINK WE CAN'T AFFORD

TO GO PLACES LIKE THAT.

THERE'S NOTHING
DISGRACEFUL ABOUT THAT.

WE CAN'T.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT
TOMORROW NIGHT COSTS?

NO.

$20 A PLATE. THAT'S
JUST FOR FOOD ALONE.

THERE ARE BOUND TO
BE OTHER EXPENSES.

BUT THERE'D JUST
BE THE THREE OF US...

YOU AND MOTHER AND MYSELF.

DON'T YOU THINK THAT $60
IS A LOT OF MONEY TO PAY

FOR JUST A SLIP OF THE TONGUE?

BUT WHAT'LL ELOISE
THINK IF WE DON'T GO?

IF SHE'S THE KIND OF
GIRL YOU SAY SHE IS,

IT WON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

AND IF SHE ISN'T, THEN YOU DON'T
WANT HER FOR A FRIEND ANYWAY.

OKAY, FATHER, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'LL CALL HER AND BE HONEST.

I'LL TELL HER THAT...

WELL, THAT WE'VE
ALL GOT THE MEASLES.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
DO THAT, PRINCESS.

JUST TELL HER THAT...

THAT I FORGOT TO
MAKE THE RESERVATIONS.

I HAPPEN TO KNOW IT'S VERY
DIFFICULT TO GET A TABLE THERE.

YOU CAN BLAME ME.

I ALREADY USED THAT EXCUSE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHEN YOU SAID WE
COULDN'T GO, I CALLED HER

AND TOLD HER WE
COULDN'T GET A TABLE.

THEN WHAT ARE YOU
WORRYING ABOUT?

MR. SANFORD SAID HE'D
BE HAPPY TO HELP US.

IN FACT, HE, UH,
MADE ARRANGEMENTS

FOR US ALL TO SIT AT HIS TABLE.

OH, BETTY!

FATHER? HMM?

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

Margaret: GOOD MORNING, BETTY.

AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO
BE PLAYING HIDE-AND-SEEK?

WHERE'S FATHER?

IN THE PATIO.

DID HE BY ANY CHANCE
CHANGE HIS MIND ABOUT GOING?

AS OF OATMEAL TIME
THIS MORNING, NO.

I GUESS HE'S PRETTY
DISAPPOINTED IN ME.

BETTY, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I

THAT THE ONE THING
YOUR FATHER HATES

IS A PERSON WHO'S A PHONY.

BUT WHAT CAN I DO?

WELL, TELL ME, WHICH IS
MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU...

TO IMPRESS ELOISE
OR YOUR FATHER?

WELL... I HAVE TO
LIVE WITH FATHER.

I GUESS I'D BETTER IMPRESS HIM.

GOOD MORNING, FATHER.

GOOD MORNING.

WE HAVE A CUSTOM HERE AT
THE ANDERSON HOUSEHOLD.

WE ALWAYS SAY "GOOD
MORNING" WITH A SMILE.

I CAME OUT TO APOLOGIZE, FATHER.

I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.
I WAS VERY UNREASONABLE.

PLEASE DON'T BE ANGRY WITH ME.

I'M NOT ANGRY, BETTY.

I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR
WANTING TO GO TO THE OPENING.

A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO GO.

IT WAS JUST YOUR REASON FOR
WANTING TO GO THAT UPSET ME.

I KNOW.

ACTUALLY, IT'S A
RATHER NICE IDEA.

I UNDERSTAND THE MONEY
ALL GOES FOR CHARITY.

I GUESS I'D BETTER
CALL MR. SANFORD

AND TELL HIM WE WON'T BE THERE.

YOU SAID HE MADE ARRANGEMENTS
FOR US TO SIT AT HIS TABLE?

THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'D BE KIND OF TOO BAD TO
UPSET HIS PLANS NOW, WOULDN'T IT?

MM.

I SUPPOSE ONCE IN A
WHILE IT WOULDN'T HURT

TO SPEND A LITTLE
MONEY FOR PLEASURE.

THEN I'LL CALL ELOISE AND
EXPLAIN THINGS TO HER.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

AFTER ALL, WE'VE BEEN
VERY CONSERVATIVE ALL YEAR.

FATHER, DO YOU MEAN
WE'RE GONNA GO AFTER ALL?

I THINK WE CAN SPEND
$60 FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

OH, FATHER! YOU'RE WONDERFUL!

OH, YOU'LL BE THE MOST
HANDSOME MAN THERE.

AND THE BROKEST.

MOTHER! DID YOU
HEAR? WE'RE GOING!

YES, I HEARD. CAN I GO, TOO?

NOT AT $20 A PLATE.

YOU CAN STAY WITH PATTY DAVIS.

OKAY. THEY HAVE
BETTER FOOD ANYWAY.

MMM, I WISH I HAD A STRAPLESS.

WHEN CAN I WEAR A STRAPLESS?

I THINK THAT YOU
SHOULD AT LEAST WAIT

UNTIL YOU GET YOUR
SECOND SET OF MOLARS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, FATHER?

I THINK I'LL WEAR MY TUX.

I DON'T LOOK VERY
WELL IN A STRAPLESS.

YOU'D BETTER GO IN AND SEE IF
YOU CAN WRESTLE YOUR FATHER'S TUX

AWAY FROM THE MOTHS.

THAT'S RIGHT, BETTY.
KINDLY INFORM THEM ALL

THEY'LL HAVE TO DINE
ELSEWHERE TONIGHT.

WHERE'S MY CIGARETTE
LIGHTER, MARGARET?

RIGHT THERE. WHERE?

THERE.

WHERE'S MY KEYCHAIN?

HONESTLY, JIM...

YOU SHOULD LOSE YOUR
KEYCHAIN MORE OFTEN.

I'M A VERY LUCKY MAN.

I AGREE.

I'M ALSO A SMART
MAN. I MARRIED YOU.

RIGHT NOW I DON'T FEEL LIKE
THE MOTHER OF THREE CHILDREN.

Bud: MOM, DAD, WHERE ARE YOU?!

ANY DOUBT NOW?

NO.

IN HERE, BUD.

GUESS WHAT? I JUST GOT
A NEW JOB. WHERE, BUD?

THE LUNCH COUNTER
AT SNOW'S DRUG STORE.

I START TONIGHT. SNOW'S?

I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER
HEARD OF THE PLACE.

THEY MAKE THE BEST
HAMBURGERS IN TOWN.

THAT IS, THEY WILL
AS OF TONIGHT.

GOOD FOR YOU.

AND YOU CAN HAVE A
CHANCE TO TRY THEM,

'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
BE MY GUESTS FOR DINNER.

WHAT'D THEY DO,
PAY YOU IN ADVANCE?

WE CAN'T GO TONIGHT, BUD.
WE'RE GOING TO THE CLUB.

BUT YOU GOTTA COME TONIGHT.

YOU JUST GOTTA. WE GOTTA WHAT?

SIS, YOU'LL HAVE DINNER
WITH ME TONIGHT, WON'T YOU?

WHERE?

I'M INVITING YOU AS MY
GUEST TO SNOW'S DRUG STORE.

SNOW'S DRUG STORE...
THAT DUMP? IT'S NOT A DUMP.

I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD THERE.

IT'S A SWELL PLACE.

WE'RE EATING AT
THE CLUB TONIGHT.

I'M EVEN HAVING A
TABLE PUT IN FOR YOU.

WHAT DID YOU THINK WE'D SIT
ON... A PRESCRIPTION COUNTER?

BETTY.

IT WASN'T EASY TO
GET A TABLE PUT IN.

THE ONLY REASON
THE MANAGER DID IT

IS 'CAUSE I TOLD HIM MY
FRIENDS WOULD BE THERE.

I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND.
I'M YOUR SISTER.

OH, BETTY, CAN'T YOU FORGET
YOU'RE MY SISTER FOR ONE NIGHT

AND BE A FRIEND? NO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO?

JUST PLAIN, ORDINARY,
SUBJUNCTIVE-CASE NO.

WHAT A PAL SHE IS.

BETTY HAS HER
HEART SET ON GOING.

WE PROMISED HER, BUD.

LOOK, SON, WE'RE
PRETTY INVOLVED TONIGHT.

WE'VE MADE PLANS THAT ARE TOO
COMPLICATED TO CHANGE AT THE LAST MINUTE.

WHAT ABOUT MY PLANS?

SNOW'S DRUG STORE WILL
BE THERE TOMORROW NIGHT

AND THE NEXT NIGHT.

WE'LL HAVE DINNER WITH
YOU TOMORROW NIGHT.

TOMORROW NIGHT WILL BE TOO LATE.

I HAVE A FEELING THERE'S MORE
TO THIS THAN MEETS THE EYE.

I HAVE, TOO. I DON'T THINK
HE'S TELLING US EVERYTHING

ABOUT THIS JOB.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO EAT
IN THE DRUG STORE, BUD.

THE DAVIS' ARE HAVING CHICKEN.

WE GOT ALL KINDS OF
GOOD THINGS TO EAT.

LIKE WHAT?

OH, BUBBLE GUM, PEANUT
BUTTER SANDWICHES.

CHICKEN?

Y-YEAH.

OF COURSE, IT MIGHT
TASTE A LITTLE LIKE TUNA.

WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE IT IS TUNA.

NOPE. THE DAVIS' CHICKEN
TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.

OKAY, BUT WAIT TILL
YOU ASK ME FOR A FAVOR.

BUD...

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT
THAT WE GO WITH YOU TONIGHT?

WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW,

I TOLD PETE... HE'S
THE MANAGER...

IF HE'D HIRE ME, I'D GUARANTEE
TO INCREASE BUSINESS.

HOW?

I TOLD HIM I COULD
BRING SOME FRIENDS IN.

OH.

FOUR FRIENDS? UH-HUH.

ME. ME.

BETTY AND KATHY?

WELL, BUD, ISN'T THAT, UH,

GETTING YOUR JOB
UNDER FALSE PRETENSES?

WELL, IT'S JUST TO
GET ME STARTED.

THEN I SUGGEST YOU GO
DOWN TO THE DRUG STORE

AND CONVINCE PETE
THAT YOU'RE CAPABLE

OF HANDLING THE JOB ON YOUR OWN,

WITHOUT ANYONE'S HELP.

YOU'RE HELPING BETTY. WHAT'S
WRONG WITH HELPING ME?

IF YOU CAN'T ASK YOUR OWN
FAMILY FOR HELP, WHO CAN YOU ASK?

I WISH I KNEW WHAT TO DO.

WELL, THERE'S ONLY
ONE THING TO DO.

THESE MEDIUM-RARE?

UH, YES AND NO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YES AND NO?

THEY WERE ONCE, BUT
THEY AREN'T ANYMORE.

LOOK, CHUM, I KNOW
THIS IS YOUR FIRST NIGHT,

BUT THESE MISTAKES OF
YOURS ARE COSTING ME MONEY.

I KNOW. I'M SORRY.

BY THE WAY, WHERE ARE
THESE FRIENDS OF YOURS?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, THEY JUST BETTER SHOW UP,

'CAUSE I ORDERED AN EXTRA
SUPPLY OF FOOD FOR TONIGHT.

FRIENDS, HE SAYS.

I HAVEN'T GOT ANY FRIENDS.

ALL I GOT IS A
BURNED HAND AND...

TWO BLISTERS, TIRED FEET,
AND A DISILLUSIONED SOUL.

START AT THE BOTTOM,
MY DAD SAYS, AND WORK UP.

WELL, I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. I'D RATHER
START AT THE TOP AND WORK DOWN.

BY THE TIME I GET
DOWN TO NOTHING,

I'LL BE SO OLD, IT WON'T
MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

OH, MAN.

WELL, HERE WE ARE.

WHAT A PEDESTRIAN PLACE.

DO WE HAVE TO EAT HERE?

YES, WE DO. WE'RE
DOING THIS FOR BUD.

I HOPE HE APPRECIATES WHAT
WE'RE SACRIFICING FOR HIM.

BETTY, YOUR FATHER SAID
HE'D MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

NOW STOP COMPLAINING.

GIVING UP ONE NIGHT OF YOUR
BUSY LIFE ISN'T GONNA KILL YOU.

IF WE HAVE TO EAT
HERE, IT PROBABLY WILL.

THIS MUST BE FOR US.

WE SHOULD'VE
BROUGHT OXYGEN MASKS.

IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE CROWDED.

WE'D HAVE MORE
ROOM IN A PHONE BOTH.

COME ON, KITTEN. OW!

WELL, UH... THINK SMALL.

WHERE'S BUD? THERE HE IS!

OH, BUD!

YOU WANT EVERYBODY TO SEE US?

WHY NOT?

I'LL QUIT... THAT'S
WHAT I'LL DO.

THEY CAN GET SOMEBODY ELSE
TO BURN THEIR HAMBURGERS.

BUD? OH, BUD?

PETE! PETE, THEY CAME.

MY FRIENDS, THEY'RE HERE.

I'LL GO GET THEIR ORDERS.

OKAY. TRY AND GET
'EM STRAIGHT, WILL YOU?

GEE, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE
YOU'D LET ME DOWN.

WE WOULDN'T HAVE
MISSED THIS FOR THE WORLD.

EVEN IF IT KILLS US.

I'M EVEN GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I'M HERE UNDER PROTEST ONLY.

THIS IS A NICE PLACE, BUD.

IT SMELLS LIKE IT'S
BURNING UP... I HOPE.

IT'S JUST THE FOOD. WHAT
ARE YOU GONNA ORDER?

WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?

WELL, I'D SUGGEST HAMBURGERS,

IF YOU LIKE THEM SMOKED.

I'LL HAVE A CHOPPED
OLIVE SANDWICH.

YOU LIKE PRUNES? NO.

THEN DON'T ORDER A
CHOPPED OLIVE SANDWICH.

WHY NOT?

I DROPPED THE JAR OF OLIVES.

BUT WE'RE LOADED WITH PRUNES.

WHAT HAPPENS IF I
ORDER A PRUNE SANDWICH?

YOU CAN'T. IT'S NOT ON THE MENU.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... BRING
ME ANYTHING YOU WANT.

OKAY, I'D BETTER WRITE IT
DOWN, OR I'LL GET IT MIXED UP.

I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WATER.

Bud: HOW DO YOU WANT IT?

BOILED.

MAYBE I'D BETTER HELP HIM.

NO, MARGARET. THIS IS
BUD'S RESPONSIBILITY.

OH, NO. WHAT'S THE MATTER?

LOOK, IT'S ELOISE!

OH, WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?

SHE PROBABLY LIKES
SMOKED HAMBURGERS.

BOY, SHE'S PRETTY.

WHY'D SHE HAVE TO COME
DOWN HERE AND SEE US, FATHER?

I DON'T KNOW.

OH, SHE'S COMING IN, TOO.

QUICK, BUD. FOR GOODNESS'
SAKE, GET OUT OF SIGHT.

WHAT FOR?

BECAUSE YOU LOOK SO SLOPPY.

YOUR HAIR'S NOT COMBED.

IF YOU'D BEEN THROUGH
WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH,

YOUR HAIR WOULDN'T
BE COMBED, EITHER.

BUD, YOU STAY RIGHT
WHERE YOU ARE.

BETTY, I'M ASHAMED OF YOU.

OH, HI, BETTY. HI, ELOISE.

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY
MOTHER AND FATHER AND SISTER.

HELLO. HOW DO YOU DO? HI!

WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M RELATED.

THIS IS BUD, ELOISE.

HOW DO YOU DO,
BUD? HELLO, ELOISE.

WON'T YOU SIT DOWN? OH, THANKS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE AT THE CLUB.

I JUST STOPPED BY TO TELL YOU

THAT I UNDERSTAND ABOUT TONIGHT.

I THINK IT'S VERY NICE THAT YOU
WANT TO HELP YOUR BROTHER

WITH HIS NEW JOB.

WE'RE VERY PROUD OF BUD, ELOISE.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING, ELOISE?

YOU CAN ORDER. THEY
WON'T HAVE IT ANYWAY.

THANK YOU, BUT I HAVE TO GO.

OH, BY THE WAY,

MY MOTHER AND
DAD WANT ALL OF YOU

TO BE THEIR GUEST
TOMORROW NIGHT AT DINNER.

IT'S SUNDAY. DO YOU
THINK YOU COULD MAKE IT?

SURE.

MY FATHER WANTS TO MEET YOU.

HE SAID IN THIS DAY AND AGE,

IT'S VERY UNUSUAL TO FIND A BOY

WHO'S WILLING TO START AT
THE BOTTOM LIKE YOU'RE DOING.

RIGHT NOW I'M EVEN
LOWER THAN THE BOTTOM.

HEY, BUD! GET WITH IT, WILL YOU?

I GOTTA GO. WORKING
MAN, YOU KNOW.

PLEASE TELL YOUR FATHER HOW
MUCH WE APPRECIATE HIS INVITATION.

I WILL.

VERY NICE TO HAVE
MET YOU, ELOISE.

I WANT TO CONGRATULATE MY
DAUGHTER ON HER CHOICE OF FRIENDS.

THANK YOU. AND I'LL
SEE YOU TOMORROW.

YES. BYE.

I... I HAVEN'T BEEN
VERY NICE, HAVE I?

BETTY, THERE'S NOTHING WORSE
THAN A MIDDLE-CLASS SNOB.

YOU SEE, INSTEAD OF BEING
ASHAMED OF YOUR BROTHER,

YOU SHOULD BE PROUD
THAT HE'S WILLING

TO FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS
OF MANY GREAT MEN.

LOOK AT LINCOLN,
THE RAIL-SPLITTER. DAD.

OR HENRY FORD. HE STARTED
OUT AS A BICYCLE MECHANIC.

I COULD NAME DOZENS AND
DOZENS OF GREAT MEN TODAY

WHO STARTED OUT
AT LOWLY POSITIONS

AND WORKED THEIR
WAY UP TO THE TOP.

WHO KNOWS? MAYBE ONE DAY

WE MAY HAVE A GREAT
EXECUTIVE IN OUR FAMILY.

DAD. DAD! OR EVEN A PRESIDENT.

WHAT IS IT, SIR?

I MEAN BUD.

I'VE JUST BEEN FIRED.

WELL, IN THAT CASE,
BUD, LET'S, UH...

CELEBRATE BEING FIRED.

OH, COME ON, BUD. CHEER UP.

JUST BECAUSE YOU LOST YOUR JOB

DOESN'T MEAN THE END
OF THE WORLD IS HERE.

BOY, WHEN THEY
WRITE MY BIOGRAPHY,

IT'LL SURE BE A SHORT ONE.

BORN, 1941. FLOPPED, 1956.

YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE.

IF I LIVE LONG ENOUGH.

IT'LL TAKE ME THE
REST OF MY LIFE

TO PAY FOR THE
HAMBURGERS I BURNED UP.

LOOK, SON, WHETHER YOU'VE
MADE A SUCCESS OF YOUR JOB

ISN'T TOO IMPORTANT.

THE POINT IS YOU TRIED.

YOU DID THE BEST YOU KNEW HOW.

AND I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT.

I'M STILL A FAILURE.

I LIKE YOU BETTER
AS A FAILURE, BUD.

THAT'S WHY WE DON'T HAVE
TO EAT IN THE DRUG STORE.

LET'S JUST FORGET ABOUT THAT.

WE'RE GOING TO THE
CLUB WITH THE SANFORDS.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
A WONDERFUL TIME.

BUD, I'VE GOT SOME
WONDERFUL NEWS FOR YOU!

IS SOMEBODY GONNA SHOOT ME?

I JUST TALKED TO PETE. HE'S
GONNA GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE.

HE IS? THAT'S RIGHT.

HE SAID YOU WERE
A TERRIBLE COOK,

BUT THAT YOU HAVE SO MANY
FRIENDS, YOU'RE A VALUABLE MAN.

YEAH?

HE'S GONNA RESERVE THE
SAME TABLE FOR TONIGHT,

WITH MORE CHAIRS.

I'D BETTER GET MY
CLOTHES CHANGED.

THANKS, SIS. AND, BUD...

WILL YOU FORGIVE ME
FOR BEING SUCH A DOPE?

SURE. YOU'RE A GIRL.
YOU CAN'T HELP IT.

YOU'D BETTER GET THE
BICARBONATE, MARGARET.

WE'RE GONNA NEED IT.