Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 2, Episode 24 - The Historical Andersons - full transcript
Bus has to write a paper on a historical figure from the Independence War. Jim suggests an ancestor - Major Nathaniel Anderson, and says he must be important if he was a major. Bud researches, and finds the major was a minor in the war.
♪♪
Announcer: ROBERT
YOUNG AND JANE WYATT,
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY AND LAUREN CHAPIN,
IN...
♪♪
BUD, BE CAREFUL!
YOU'LL BREAK THOSE...
WHAT'D YOU SAY, DAD?
BUD, YOU KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, ANYWAY?
I'M DOING MY HOMEWORK.
FOR WHAT CLASS?
ADVANCED HOME-WRECKING?
BUD...
YOU KNOW, THESE THINGS WOULDN'T HAPPEN
IF YOU'D DO YOUR EATING IN THE KITCHEN.
WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO INTERRUPT
MY HOMEWORK THAT MUCH.
IT DOESN'T LOOK TO ME AS
THOUGH YOU'VE WRITTEN A WORD.
WELL, WHAT GOOD WOULD IT DO ME?
THE TEACHER HAS IT IN FOR ME.
OH, SHE DOES NOT.
YES, SHE DOES.
SHE TOLD US TO PICK A REVOLUTIONARY
WAR HERO TO WRITE ABOUT.
WELL, ONE KID RAISED
HIS HAND, AND HE SAID,
"I'LL TAKE GEORGE WASHINGTON."
ANOTHER KID RAISED HIS HAND
AND SAID, "I'LL TAKE PAUL REVERE."
BUT DID SHE EVER ASK ME
WHO I WANTED TO TAKE? NO.
DID YOU RAISE YOUR HAND?
WELL, NO.
COME ON. YOU'VE GOT
PLENTY OF HEROES TO TAKE.
WHAT ABOUT GENERAL KNOX? TAKEN.
OH, WHAT ABOUT JOHN PAUL JONES?
THEY'RE ALL TAKEN.
"THEY" ARE ONE MAN.
THEY ARE?
WHAT ABOUT "LIGHT
HORSE" HARRY LEE?
"MAD ANTHONY" WAYNE?
ETHAN ALLEN, NATHANAEL GREENE,
SCHUYLER, GATES...
ALL TAKEN. LET'S FACE IT:
I'M JUST THE UNWITTED
VICTIM OF INJUSTICE.
YOU'LL BE THE VICTIM OF A BROOM IF
YOU DON'T HOLD THAT DUSTPAN STILL.
I'LL GIVE YOU ONE I'LL BET
NO ONE ELSE HAS TAKEN.
MAJOR NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
"MAJOR ANDERSON?"
I NEVER HEARD OF HIM BEFORE.
DAD, I JUST CAN'T MAKE UP A GUY.
IT'S GOT TO BE SOMEBODY
WHO REALLY LIVED.
NO, THERE REALLY WAS A MAJOR
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
HE'S AN ANCESTOR OF OURS.
ALL RIGHT, DAD.
OH, IT'S TRUE. YOU'LL FIND
HIS NAME UP IN THE ATTIC
IN THAT OLD FAMILY
GENEALOGY OF OURS.
OLD FAMILY WHO?
FAMILY TREE, DOPEY.
AND I'M SURE THAT'S WHERE ALL
OF YOUR ANCESTORS CAME FROM...
OUT OF A TREE. YOURS TOO.
DAD, WAS THIS JOKER A HERO?
WELL, HIS NAME ISN'T
EXACTLY ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY,
BUT HE MUST'VE DONE SOMETHING
WORTHWHILE TO HAVE GOTTEN TO BE A MAJOR.
WHY DON'T YOU GO UP IN THE ATTIC
AND FIND THE ANDERSON GENEALOGY.
TRY THE TRUNK. THERE MAY BE AN
OLD PICTURE OF HIM IN THERE TOO.
WELL, DID HE WIN ANY
BATTLES SINGLE-HANDED?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW
VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM.
IT SEEMS HE WAS WITH
GENERAL WAYNE AT STONY POINT,
BUT I WOULDN'T SAY FOR SURE.
PROBABLY A HORSE THIEF.
WHOA, WILL THE
OTHER KIDS BE JEALOUS.
I'LL BE THE ONLY GUY IN CLASS
WHO'LL BE WRITING
ABOUT HIS OWN RELATIVE...
MAJOR NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
WHATCHA DOIN', BUD?
I'M LOOKING FOR AN
OLD UNCLE OF MINE.
HUH?
DID YOU KNOW THAT
ONE OF OUR RELATIVES
WAS A BIG WHEEL IN THE
AMERICAN REVOLUTION?
HE FOUGHT WITH WAYNE, WITH
WASHINGTON, FOUGHT WITH EVERYBODY.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RELATIVE...
ALWAYS FIGHTING WITH EVERYBODY.
HEY, LOOK! THERE'S
AN OLD HELMET!
OH, I GUESS THIS MUST'VE
BELONGED TO MOM.
GET A LOAD OF THE
STUFF DAD USED TO WEAR.
YOU KNOW, KATHY, IT'S A
WONDER WE TURNED OUT SO GOOD,
CONSIDERING HOW
CORNY OUR FOLKS WERE.
I WONDER WHY EVERYBODY DRESSED
OLD-FASHIONED IN THOSE DAYS.
THEY DON'T DO IT NOW.
HEY, I'LL BET YOU THIS IS IT.
"GENEAL... LOLOGY."
THAT'S THE WORD!
"JOSIAH BETHEL ANDERSON."
HE MUST BE THE HEAD ANCESTOR.
"AND HIS DESCENDENTS..."
THAT'S US!
IT IS? LET ME SEE! WHERE'S ME?
DON'T GET PUSHY.
LET'S SEE. "WINDHAM
COUNTY, CONNECTICUT.
"JOSIAH BETHEL ANDERSON
"MARRIED ESTHER
MEEDHAM "IN JUNE 1713
"AND LYDIA HOLT IN AUGUST 1715."
I BET THAT MADE ESTHER MAD.
"THERE WERE EITHER
13 OR 14 CHILDREN."
WELL, DIDN'T THEY KNOW?
YOU'D THINK THEY
COULD'VE COUNTED THEM
WHEN THEY WERE ASLEEP AT NIGHT.
I WANT TO FIND THIS
OLD MAJOR ANDERSON
AND HIS FAMOUS EXPLOITS.
LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU
COME TO THE PART ABOUT ME.
I WONDER WHO THIS
SILLY-LOOKING MAN IS.
HEY, I'LL BET YOU
THAT'S HIM. LET ME SEE IT.
THAT IS HIM!
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
IT'S ALL CRUMBLY.
WELL, YOU WOULDN'T BE IN
SUCH GOOD SHAPE EITHER
IF YOU WERE A COUPLE
OF HUNDRED YEARS OLD.
JUST THINK, KATHY... THIS HERO
IS OUR OWN RELATIVE.
THE BLOOD THAT RAN THROUGH HIS
VEINS IS STILL RUNNING THROUGH OURS.
BOY, THAT'S GOOD
MILEAGE! JUST THINK...
HE USED TO KNOCK AROUND
WITH OLD PAUL REVERE
AND OLD GEORGE WASHINGTON
AND ALL THOSE GUYS.
WISH I'D HAVE LIVED THEN.
LOOK AT THAT FACE.
HE LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE ME.
WHAT A GUY HE MUST'VE BEEN.
AND HE'S MY ANCESTOR.
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
♪♪
Man: WAKE UP IN THERE!
WAKE UP, NATHANIEL!
THE REDCOATS ARE COMING!
ONE IF BY LAND, TWO IF BY SEA,
AND HUNDREDS MORE ON HORSEBACK.
PROTECT YOUR HOMES AND WOMEN.
NATHANIEL, DID YOU
HEAR MR. REVERE?
YES, MOTHER, I HEARD.
OH! WHAT ARE WE
TO DO, NATHANIEL?
FEAR NOT, MOTHER.
NATHANIEL! DID YOU SLEEP
IN YOUR BOOTS AGAIN?
AT TIMES LIKE THESE, A MAN CAN'T
BE CAUGHT WITH HIS BOOTS OFF.
BUT YOU'RE NOT YET A MAN, SON.
BUT YOU'RE WRONG, GOOD
WIFE. HE'S EVERY INCH A MAN.
SON, HIE THEE TO CONCORD
BRIDGE, AND DON'T LET THEM CROSS.
IT'S LIBERTY OR DEATH.
AYE, FATHER.
BUT HE'S NOT YET
OUT OF HIS TEENS.
BUT ONE DAY, OUR SON'S
NAME WILL BE ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY.
WHAT A GUY!
WHAT A GUY!
♪♪
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, GENERAL,
BUT THE DELAWARE
RIVER'S ROUGH TONIGHT,
AND WE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT ACROSS UNLESS
YOU TAKE A BIT OF ADVICE I COULD OFFER.
NATHANIEL!
GENERAL WASHINGTON
HARDLY NEEDS YOUR ADVICE.
PLEASE, SIR, FORGIVE MY SON, FOR
HE IS YET OF A YOUTHFUL TURN OF MIND
AND THEREFORE GIVEN
TO HEADSTRONG AUDACITY.
TRUE, BUT BRAVE AND BRILLIANT.
I'LL LISTEN ANY OLD DAY TO
THE ADVICE OF A YOUNG SCAMP
WHO SINGLE-HANDEDLY
HELD A BRIDGE AT CONCORD
AND FIRED THE SHOT
HEARD 'ROUND THE WORLD.
AND THEN, TOO, WHO
DO YOU THINK IT WAS
WHO THOUGHT UP THIS
PLAN TO SURPRISE THE ENEMY
BY CROSSING THE
DELAWARE TONIGHT?
COME, COME, MAJOR ANDERSON,
WHAT DO YOU ADVISE THIS TIME?
SIR, UNLESS YOU
WANT TO TIP OVER,
YOU SHOULD NOT
STAND UP IN THE BOAT.
ONE DAY, THE NAME OF THIS
LAD IS GOING TO HANG ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY.
GENERAL, BETTER EASE OFF A BIT.
I THINK I SEE THE LIGHTS OF
TRENTON FLICKERING YONDER.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH, NOTHING. YOU
WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR RIGHT HERE.
WHERE? I COULDN'T MAKE
MUCH SENSE OUT OF THIS STUFF.
"ELIJAH HIBBARD ANDERSON
AND HANNAH BIXBY,
"MARRIED DECEMBER 1751.
"THEIR CHILDREN WERE AMOS,
"THANNIE AMELIA, RICHARD WINDHAM
AND NATHANIEL OLIVER." SEE?
"BORN MARCH 1755, BOSTON.
MENTIONED IN CONNECTION WITH
BOSTON TEA INCIDENT." MM-HMM.
HEY, HE WAS ONE OF THE
GUYS AT THE BOSTON TEA PARTY.
SURE. I SEE I WAS RIGHT
ABOUT GENERAL WAYNE.
"TRANSFERRED FROM
CONCORD STATION
TO THE ARMY OF
GENERAL WAYNE, 1779."
GOLLY, IT LOOKS LIKE
EVERYBODY WANTED HIM!
DOES IT SAY ANYTHING MORE
ABOUT HIM ON THE NEXT PAGE?
NO, THAT'S ABOUT ALL.
"DIED JULY 14,
1794, SPRINGFIELD."
"SPRINGFIELD"? HEY,
THAT'S RIGHT HERE.
WELL, THERE ARE A
LOT OF SPRINGFIELDS.
I DOUBT IF IT WAS THIS ONE.
I'LL BET THE LIBRARIAN COULD HELP YOU DIG
UP A LOT OF STUFF ON OLD MAJOR ANDERSON.
HAVE YOU COME TO
THE PART ABOUT ME YET?
OH, KITTEN, THIS HASN'T
BEEN KEPT UP AT ALL.
I DON'T EVEN THINK I'M IN IT.
COME ON, ALL YOU HISTORIANS,
IT'S PAST EVERYONE'S BEDTIME.
IS MOMMY IN IT?
NO. YOU SEE, MOMMY
WASN'T AN ANDERSON.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME
YOU DIDN'T GET IN
OUR FAMOUS FAMILY LIKE WE DID.
OH, I COME FROM A PRETTY
GOOD FAMILY MYSELF.
WE JUST DON'T SIT
AROUND BRAGGING ABOUT IT.
COME ON, MISS 1928,
TAKE THAT STUFF
OFF AND GO TO BED.
I'LL BET MOM'S JEALOUS.
WELL, JUST DON'T FORGET, SHE'S A
PRETTY IMPORTANT ANCESTOR OF YOURS.
YEAH. HEY, DAD, CAN I TAKE THIS
WITH ME TO SCHOOL TOMORROW?
SURE. JUST BE CAREFUL WITH IT.
BOY, I CAN JUST SEE
THOSE KIDS' EYES BUG OUT
WHEN I SPRING THIS
ON 'EM TOMORROW.
MAN!
AND I SEE THAT EVERYONE
HAS SELECTED A PERSONALITY
FOR OUR TERM PAPER ON
REVOLUTIONARY WAR HEROES...
EXCEPT BUD ANDERSON.
HAVE YOU PICKED ONE YET, BUD?
YES, MA'AM, I HAVE.
I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE
ABOUT ONE OF MY RELATIVES.
YOUR RELATIVES? YES, MA'AM.
MAJOR NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
HE WAS A FAMOUS
REVOLUTIONARY WAR HERO.
OH, SURE, SURE. BIG HERO.
WELL, HE WAS!
HE WAS A LEADER IN
THE BOSTON TEA PARTY
AND HE LED "MAD ANTHONY"
WAYNE'S CHARGE ON STONY POINT,
AND I GOT A PICTURE OF HIM.
WHERE'D YOU GET IT? OUT
OF A WEIGH-IN MACHINE?
SEE THERE? HIS
NAME'S RIGHT ON IT...
"MAJOR NATHANIEL
OLIVER ANDERSON."
HEY, THE OLD BOY'S CRACKED.
Teacher: ALL RIGHT,
CLASS, PLEASE.
ORLO, THAT WILL DO.
BUD, IF THIS IS YOUR
IDEA OF A JOKE...
IT'S NOT A JOKE. IT'S THE TRUTH.
HE'S LISTED IN OUR
FAMILY "GENEALOLOGY,"
AND THIS PICTURE'S
GENUINE AUTHENTIC.
AND-AND HE WAS KILLED
RIGHT HERE IN SPRINGFIELD...
FIGHTING INDIANS, I THINK.
PROBABLY PUSHING WEST
WITH GEORGE ROGERS CLARK.
SURE, HE WAS.
WELL, I CAN PROVE
THE WHOLE THING!
SO LONG, MAJOR. LOOK
OUT FOR THOSE INDIANS.
IS THIS MAJOR ANDERSON
REALLY LISTED IN YOUR GENEALOGY?
YES, MA'AM. YOU CAN ASK MY DAD.
HMM. BUD, IF WHAT
YOU SAY IS TRUE,
THIS COULD MAKE A
VERY INTERESTING PAPER.
HEY, MAJOR, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
WEAR TO THE BOSTON TEA PARTY?
AND DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THE SCOFFERS.
PERHAPS ONE DAY, THE
NAME OF MAJOR ANDERSON
WILL BE ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY
IN SPRINGFIELD.
RIGHT HERE, MOTHER.
THIS PARAGRAPH... READ IT.
BETTY, I'LL READ YOUR SCHOOLWORK
LATER. I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE...
BUT IT'LL JUST TAKE A
SECOND. IT'S ABOUT US.
"US"?
"THE DISCOVERY THAT
THE DIRECT DESCENDENTS
"OF A REVOLUTIONARY WAR HERO
ARE RESIDENTS OF SPRINGFIELD
"WAS BROUGHT TO LIGHT
WHEN BUD ANDERSON,
IN SELECTING A SUBJECT
FOR A HISTORY PAPER..."
WELL, FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
WHO DO YOU SUPPOSE PUT THAT IN?
PROBABLY BUD'S HISTORY TEACHER.
OOH, WE'RE FAMOUS NOW, MOTHER!
OH, GUESS WHAT, FATHER?
YOU GUESS WHAT. THERE'S A LITTLE
SCOOP ABOUT THE ANDERSONS IN THE PAPER.
I KNOW. I WAS JUST READING IT.
I DON'T MEAN THAT, I MEAN THIS.
IT'S RIGHT THERE IN
THE THIRD COLUMN. SEE?
"SPRINGFIELD MAY BE BURIAL SITE
OF REVOLUTIONARY WAR HERO."
SAY, HE'S GOTTEN
TO BE A HERO BY NOW.
YEAH, THE OLD BOY'S
DOING ALL RIGHT.
GEE, "HE LED THE CHARGE
AGAINST STONY POINT."
IS THAT TRUE?
WELL, I THINK WHOEVER GAVE OUT THE
FACTS MAY HAVE EXAGGERATED A LITTLE.
AND I CAN GUESS
WHO IT WAS. THAT BUD...
HE NEVER DOES
ANYTHING BY HALVES.
NO, IT'S NOTHING OR TOO MUCH.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM IN
THE SCHOOL LIBRARY TODAY.
ACTUALLY READING SOME
BOOKS, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT.
DADDY, CAN I BORROW YOUR PENCIL?
PATTY DAVIS WANTS MY AUTOGRAPH.
- YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
- WHAT FOR?
SHE WANTS TO SHOW IT TO HER
CHILDREN WHEN SHE GROWS UP.
'CAUSE I'M HISTORICAL NOW.
HELLO? OH, YES, MISS WOODRUFF.
NO, BUD ISN'T HOME YET.
COULD I TAKE A MESSAGE?
WELL, YES.
I FEEL THAT THIS
INFORMATION ON MR. ANDERSON
IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN JUST A TERM PAPER,
AND I WAS WONDERING
IF WE MIGHT INDUCE BUD
TO READ IT AT OUR
FRIDAY NIGHT PTA MEETING.
WELL, I THINK THAT'LL
BE A FINE THING,
AND I'M SURE WE
CAN TALK BUD INTO IT.
I SEE. WELL, I'D SAY GO
AHEAD AND COUNT ON IT.
ALL RIGHT. FINE, MISS WOODRUFF.
GOODBYE.
WELL, SIR, DO I
HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.
YEAH? YOU'RE GONNA DELIVER
YOUR HISTORICAL THESIS
ON MAJOR ANDERSON BEFORE
THE MEMBERS OF THE PTA.
I AM? ON FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU. I
HAVEN'T GOT ANY PAPER TO READ.
I COULDN'T FIND ONE SINGLE
WORD ON THE MAJOR. WHAT?
YOU SURE THIS GUY WASN'T A FIG
NEWTON OF SOMEBODY'S IMAGINATION?
NO, HE REALLY LIVED. I'M SURE
THERE ARE RECORDS ON HIM.
NOT IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY.
OH, WELL, YOU HAVE TO
GO TO THE PUBLIC LIBRARY.
I'M SURE THEY MUST HAVE OLD,
AUTHENTIC DOCUMENTS ON THAT PERIOD.
ASK THE LIBRARIAN. SHE'LL KNOW.
PERSONALLY, I THINK YOU OUGHT TO
GIVE THE WHOLE THING UP RIGHT NOW,
BEFORE YOU GET IN SO
DEEP THAT YOU CAN'T.
NO, I'M IN TOO DEEP ALREADY.
I GOT TO FIND SOMETHING ON THE MAJOR OR
THE KIDS'LL RAZZ ME RIGHT OUT OF SCHOOL.
I JUST GOT TO GET SOMETHING.
♪♪
AND I THINK PERHAPS
YOU WILL FIND
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IN HERE.
BUT REMEMBER, I PERMIT
VERY FEW PEOPLE IN HERE,
AND ONLY FOR VERY
SPECIAL REASONS.
WILL I BE ABLE TO FIND
ANYTHING ON MAJOR AND...
SHH! LOWER YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.
WILL I BE ABLE TO
FIND ANYTHING ON MA...
YOU MUST BE VERY
CAREFUL WITH THESE BOOKS.
THEY ARE VERY OLD
AND VERY VALUABLE.
SIT THERE.
THE PAGES IN THESE
BOOKS ARE VERY BRITTLE
AND TEAR EASILY.
IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
THIS IS FOR THE PTA
AND ONLY BECAUSE OF THE
LOCAL HISTORICAL INTEREST
THAT I AM PERMITTING YOU
ACCESS TO THESE VOLUMES.
I HOPE YOU WILL TREAT
THEM WITH PROPER RESPECT.
YES, MA'AM.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I SAID, "YES, MA'AM."
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.
YOU THINK WE'LL
EVER GET OUT OF HERE?
LOWER YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.
HEY, LOOK! HE'S
LISTED IN THE INDEX!
"ANDERSON, NATHANIEL,
PAGES 131, 132, 207 AND 219."
YEAH!
Librarian: LOWER
YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.
THIS IS THE BOSTON TEA INCIDENT!
YOU THINK THIS
STUFF IS REALLY TRUE?
PROBABLY IS.
LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE
IT SAYS ABOUT HIM.
Librarian: SHH!
IT'S NOT FUNNY!
I KNOW. BUT WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE PTA
SITTING THERE LISTENING TO...
NO, I GUESS IT ISN'T FUNNY.
WHAT ISN'T? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU TELL HIM.
YOU TELL HIM.
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
OH, THAT BUM.
THAT CRUMMY BUM.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, I WOULD
LIKE TO KNOW WHAT'S...
OH, THAT CRUMMY BUM!
YOU SURE THIS IS RIGHT?
IT'S ALL IN THE RECORDS, FATHER.
OH, HELLO, MISS WOODRUFF.
WON'T YOU COME IN? THANK YOU.
MISS WOODRUFF?
WELL, I CAN'T STAY,
BUT I JUST HAD TO STOP BY AND
TELL YOU THE WONDERFUL REACTION
OF THE PTA COMMITTEE
TO MAJOR ANDERSON. OH!
THEY'RE HAVING A SCROLL
MADE HONORING THE MAJOR,
AND THEY WOULD LIKE MR. ANDERSON
TO BE THERE TO ACCEPT IT.
WELL, I THINK THAT'D BE WONDERFUL.
I'M SURE HE'D BE VERY HAPPY TO.
WELL, THAT'S SPLENDID.
OH, I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OCCASION
THE COMMUNITY WILL LONG REMEMBER.
YES. OH, AND ANOTHER THING
THE COMMITTEE THOUGHT WOULD
BE VERY FITTING AND VERY EFFECTIVE,
AND THAT IS TO EMBELLISH
THE READING OF THE PAPER
WITH SEVERAL
HISTORICAL TABLEAUX.
"TABLEAUX"?
TWO OR THREE SCENES
ILLUSTRATING THE HIGHLIGHTS
OF MAJOR ANDERSON'S CAREER.
AND OF COURSE, THESE SHOULD
BE DONE BY THE ANDERSON FAMILY.
THE SCHOOL ART DEPARTMENT WILL
GIVE YOU ALL THE HELP YOU NEED.
WELL, I-I DON'T KNOW...
WELL, MISS WOODRUFF,
IN ALL MODESTY, I FEEL...
OH! THIS IS NO TIME TO
BE MODEST, MR. ANDERSON.
THIS IS TO BE THE
ANDERSONS' NIGHT.
BESIDES, THE COMMITTEE IS
ALREADY MAKING UP THE PROGRAMS.
BUT, MISS WOODRUFF...
NO. I WAS INSTRUCTED
NOT TO TAKE "NO" FOR AN ANSWER,
AND I DON'T INTEND TO.
WELL, I WON'T TAKE UP
ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME.
I JUST HAD TO STOP BY AND
TELL YOU THE GOOD NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, ALL.
DAD, WE CAN'T GET UP THERE
AND TELL ALL THAT STUFF.
AFTER ALL THE BRAGGING I DID, THE KIDS
WOULD RAZZ ME RIGHT OUT OF SCHOOL.
WHAT'S THE BIG DIFFICULTY?
THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
DAD, WHY DIDN'T YOU
STOP MISS WOODRUFF?
WELL, I DIDN'T WANT
TO HAVE TO TELL HER
WHY WE COULDN'T
GO THROUGH WITH IT.
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
THIS WOULD MAKE SOME
VERY INTERESTING TABLEAUX.
WELL, IT'S NOT VERY
FUNNY, MARGARET.
AND DON'T FORGET,
YOU'RE AN ANDERSON TOO.
YOUR REPUTATION IS JUST AS
MUCH AT STAKE AS ANYONE ELSE'S.
WHY COULDN'T WE MOVE OUT OF
TOWN... AT LEAST UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER?
WE'RE IN TOO DEEP.
IF WE DROP IT NOW,
PEOPLE WILL WANT TO KNOW WHY.
AND SOONER OR LATER, SOMEONE'S GONNA START
DIGGING IN THOSE BOOKS IN THE LIBRARY.
COME ON, SON.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
INTO THE DEN, TO WRITE SOME...
HISTORICAL TABLEAUX.
I'M GLAD I DIDN'T COME
FROM A FAMOUS FAMILY.
♪♪
I STILL DON'T SEE
WHY WE CAN'T JUST
MAKE UP SOMETHING
ABOUT THE MAJOR.
NOT WITH THOSE BOOKS IN THE
LIBRARY HANGING HEAVY OVER OUR HEADS.
BESIDES, TRUTH IS TRUTH,
AND YOU HAVE TO STICK TO IT.
AND WE'RE SURE STUCK WITH IT.
I KNOW I CAN'T GO
BACK TO SCHOOL...
NOT WHEN ORLO BATES AND
THE GANG FIND OUT ABOUT THIS.
THAT WILL MAKE
MY LIFE MISERABLE.
I CAN JUST HEAR THEM
HOOTING AND LAUGHING.
YEAH, WHAT A POWERFUL
WEAPON LAUGHTER CAN BE.
LAUGHTER AND TRUTH.
TWO POWERFUL WEAPONS,
AND NEITHER ONE ARE ON OUR SIDE.
DAD, WHY DON'T WE JUST
GET IN A CAR AND SORT OF...
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF THOSE ARE SUCH POWERFUL WEAPONS,
WHY DON'T WE USE THEM OURSELVES?
HUH?
BUD, I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA.
IT COULD TURN OUT TO
BE A MIGHTY POOR ONE,
BUT AT LEAST IT'S AN IDEA,
AND WE'RE GONNA TRY IT.
♪♪
AND THAT'S HOW IT BEGAN...
IN MY HISTORY CLASS.
THEN EXCITEMENT SPREAD RAPIDLY,
CULMINATING IN
THIS EVENT TONIGHT.
NOW, BEFORE OUR PTA PRESIDENT,
MRS. MILLS, MAKES
THE PRESENTATION
HONORING MAJOR
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON,
WE ARE GOING TO LEARN
ALL ABOUT THE MAJOR
FROM HIS DIRECT DESCENDENTS,
OUR OWN ANDERSON FAMILY.
AND SO IT IS WITH
TREMENDOUS PLEASURE
AND GREAT PRIDE THAT I INTRODUCE
MR. JAMES ANDERSON.
THANK YOU.
WHEN THIS TASK WAS FIRST
THRUST UPON OUR FAMILY,
WE WERE PRETTY FRIGHTENED.
BEING RANK AMATEURS,
AS YOU WILL SOON SEE,
WE ACCEPTED ONLY
WHEN WE REALIZED
THAT PERHAPS THERE WAS
A MORAL TO BE LEARNED
IN THE LIFE OF OUR
NEWLY FAMED ANCESTOR,
AND THAT ALSO THIS
MIGHT SHED A NEW LIGHT
ON THE EVALUATION OF ANCESTORS.
AND SO NOW BEGINS OUR STORY
OF NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
IN 1773, THE CITIZENS OF BOSTON
WERE SEETHING UNDER
THE BRITISH ATTEMPT
TO IMPOSE A MONOPOLY
IN TEA ON THE COLONIES.
AND SO ON A COLD DECEMBER
NIGHT, A BRAVE BAND
DISGUISED AS INDIANS DECIDED
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
AMONG THE MEMBERS OF THAT
FAMOUS BOSTON TEA PARTY
WAS A LAD NAMED
NATHANIEL ANDERSON...
BUT NOT A LISTED MEMBER.
NO, HE JOINED OF HIS OWN
VOLITION, UNKNOWN TO THE OTHERS,
AND HE, NOT CONTENT WITH MERELY
THROWING THE TEA OVERBOARD,
WENT ONE STEP FARTHER.
OUR ENTERPRISING HERO
PROSPERED AS A TEA MERCHANT
AND WAS SOON SINGLED
OUT BY HIS FELLOW MEN,
DECORATED, AND GIVEN
AN IMPRESSIVE FAREWELL.
YES, NEATLY CLAD IN HIS TAILORED
TAR-AND-FEATHER SEERSUCKER,
OUR HERO LEFT BOSTON.
HISTORY THEN RECORDS
THAT HE WAS TRANSFERRED
FROM CONCORD STATION TO THE ARMY
OF GENERAL "MAD ANTHONY" WAYNE.
LET US OBSERVE HIM FIRST
IN HIS CONCORD STATION.
SOON OUR HERO AND THE
OTHER ABLE-BODIED GUESTS
IN CONCORD STATION
WERE SENT TO FILL
THE DWINDLING RANKS OF THE ARMY.
ONCE IN UNIFORM, IT DID NOT
TAKE PRIVATE NATHANIEL LONG
TO SHOW HIS TRUE COLORS.
ON THAT HISTORIC NIGHT
WHEN GENERAL WAYNE STORMED
THE FORT AT STONY
POINT, OUR HERO,
IN A DARING EXPLOIT, WAS
SOON ALONE ON THE BATTLEFIELD,
WITH THE OTHERS FAR BEHIND HIM.
AFTER PRIVATE NATHANIEL
PROMOTED HIMSELF TO MAJOR...
WITH A BORROWED UNIFORM...
WE HEAR LITTLE MORE OF HIM
EXCEPT THAT HE TURNED
UP LATER IN SPRINGFIELD.
REST EASILY. NOT
OUR SPRINGFIELD.
AND HERE OUR ILLUSTRIOUS
ANCESTOR ENDED HIS LIFE,
SUSPENDED FROM THE STURDY
LIMB OF SOME FINE OLD FAMILY TREE.
WELL, WE'VE HAD A LITTLE FUN
WILL POOR OLD MAJOR ANDERSON.
UNFORTUNATELY,
ALL OF IT WAS TRUE.
NOW, MANY OF YOU HAVE
ANCESTORS OF WHOM
YOU CAN BE JUSTLY
PROUD, AND YOU SHOULD BE,
FOR IT WAS THEY WHO BUILT THE
FOUNDATIONS OF THIS COUNTRY.
WE HAD HOPED FOR
SUCH AN ANCESTOR,
AND BELIEVE ME, IT WASN'T
EASY FOR US TO UNMASK
THE ONE WE CAME UP WITH,
BUT THEN WE DECIDED TO BORROW THE
SPIRIT OF TRUTH FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON
AND THE TRADITION OF AMERICAN
HUMOR TO TELL OUR STORY.
OUR MORAL? YES, WE HAVE ONE.
VOLTAIRE STATED IT FOR US.
"HE WHO SERVES WELL HIS COUNTRY
HAS NO NEED OF ANCESTORS."
MRS. MILLS,
I KNOW THAT NONE OF THE THINGS
YOU PLANNED TO SAY ABOUT THE SCROLL
WILL FIT NOW.
IN FACT, YOU CAN
HARDLY PRESENT IT NOW.
BUT I WOULD LIKE THE AUDIENCE
TO SEE WHAT A FINE SCROLL IT IS.
♪♪
THIS IS VERY NICE.
AND WE ANDERSONS SINCERELY APPRECIATE
THE THOUGHT AND EFFORT BEHIND IT.
ND I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST THAT
WE GO AHEAD AND HANG IT UP
AS A REMINDER THAT EACH
GENERATION MUST EARN ITS OWN LAURELS,
AND ALSO AS A REMINDER
THAT WE MUST NEVER LOSE THE
ABILITY TO LAUGH AT OURSELVES.
♪♪
♪♪
Announcer: ROBERT
YOUNG AND JANE WYATT,
WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY AND LAUREN CHAPIN,
IN...
♪♪
BUD, BE CAREFUL!
YOU'LL BREAK THOSE...
WHAT'D YOU SAY, DAD?
BUD, YOU KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, ANYWAY?
I'M DOING MY HOMEWORK.
FOR WHAT CLASS?
ADVANCED HOME-WRECKING?
BUD...
YOU KNOW, THESE THINGS WOULDN'T HAPPEN
IF YOU'D DO YOUR EATING IN THE KITCHEN.
WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO INTERRUPT
MY HOMEWORK THAT MUCH.
IT DOESN'T LOOK TO ME AS
THOUGH YOU'VE WRITTEN A WORD.
WELL, WHAT GOOD WOULD IT DO ME?
THE TEACHER HAS IT IN FOR ME.
OH, SHE DOES NOT.
YES, SHE DOES.
SHE TOLD US TO PICK A REVOLUTIONARY
WAR HERO TO WRITE ABOUT.
WELL, ONE KID RAISED
HIS HAND, AND HE SAID,
"I'LL TAKE GEORGE WASHINGTON."
ANOTHER KID RAISED HIS HAND
AND SAID, "I'LL TAKE PAUL REVERE."
BUT DID SHE EVER ASK ME
WHO I WANTED TO TAKE? NO.
DID YOU RAISE YOUR HAND?
WELL, NO.
COME ON. YOU'VE GOT
PLENTY OF HEROES TO TAKE.
WHAT ABOUT GENERAL KNOX? TAKEN.
OH, WHAT ABOUT JOHN PAUL JONES?
THEY'RE ALL TAKEN.
"THEY" ARE ONE MAN.
THEY ARE?
WHAT ABOUT "LIGHT
HORSE" HARRY LEE?
"MAD ANTHONY" WAYNE?
ETHAN ALLEN, NATHANAEL GREENE,
SCHUYLER, GATES...
ALL TAKEN. LET'S FACE IT:
I'M JUST THE UNWITTED
VICTIM OF INJUSTICE.
YOU'LL BE THE VICTIM OF A BROOM IF
YOU DON'T HOLD THAT DUSTPAN STILL.
I'LL GIVE YOU ONE I'LL BET
NO ONE ELSE HAS TAKEN.
MAJOR NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
"MAJOR ANDERSON?"
I NEVER HEARD OF HIM BEFORE.
DAD, I JUST CAN'T MAKE UP A GUY.
IT'S GOT TO BE SOMEBODY
WHO REALLY LIVED.
NO, THERE REALLY WAS A MAJOR
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
HE'S AN ANCESTOR OF OURS.
ALL RIGHT, DAD.
OH, IT'S TRUE. YOU'LL FIND
HIS NAME UP IN THE ATTIC
IN THAT OLD FAMILY
GENEALOGY OF OURS.
OLD FAMILY WHO?
FAMILY TREE, DOPEY.
AND I'M SURE THAT'S WHERE ALL
OF YOUR ANCESTORS CAME FROM...
OUT OF A TREE. YOURS TOO.
DAD, WAS THIS JOKER A HERO?
WELL, HIS NAME ISN'T
EXACTLY ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY,
BUT HE MUST'VE DONE SOMETHING
WORTHWHILE TO HAVE GOTTEN TO BE A MAJOR.
WHY DON'T YOU GO UP IN THE ATTIC
AND FIND THE ANDERSON GENEALOGY.
TRY THE TRUNK. THERE MAY BE AN
OLD PICTURE OF HIM IN THERE TOO.
WELL, DID HE WIN ANY
BATTLES SINGLE-HANDED?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW
VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM.
IT SEEMS HE WAS WITH
GENERAL WAYNE AT STONY POINT,
BUT I WOULDN'T SAY FOR SURE.
PROBABLY A HORSE THIEF.
WHOA, WILL THE
OTHER KIDS BE JEALOUS.
I'LL BE THE ONLY GUY IN CLASS
WHO'LL BE WRITING
ABOUT HIS OWN RELATIVE...
MAJOR NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
WHATCHA DOIN', BUD?
I'M LOOKING FOR AN
OLD UNCLE OF MINE.
HUH?
DID YOU KNOW THAT
ONE OF OUR RELATIVES
WAS A BIG WHEEL IN THE
AMERICAN REVOLUTION?
HE FOUGHT WITH WAYNE, WITH
WASHINGTON, FOUGHT WITH EVERYBODY.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A RELATIVE...
ALWAYS FIGHTING WITH EVERYBODY.
HEY, LOOK! THERE'S
AN OLD HELMET!
OH, I GUESS THIS MUST'VE
BELONGED TO MOM.
GET A LOAD OF THE
STUFF DAD USED TO WEAR.
YOU KNOW, KATHY, IT'S A
WONDER WE TURNED OUT SO GOOD,
CONSIDERING HOW
CORNY OUR FOLKS WERE.
I WONDER WHY EVERYBODY DRESSED
OLD-FASHIONED IN THOSE DAYS.
THEY DON'T DO IT NOW.
HEY, I'LL BET YOU THIS IS IT.
"GENEAL... LOLOGY."
THAT'S THE WORD!
"JOSIAH BETHEL ANDERSON."
HE MUST BE THE HEAD ANCESTOR.
"AND HIS DESCENDENTS..."
THAT'S US!
IT IS? LET ME SEE! WHERE'S ME?
DON'T GET PUSHY.
LET'S SEE. "WINDHAM
COUNTY, CONNECTICUT.
"JOSIAH BETHEL ANDERSON
"MARRIED ESTHER
MEEDHAM "IN JUNE 1713
"AND LYDIA HOLT IN AUGUST 1715."
I BET THAT MADE ESTHER MAD.
"THERE WERE EITHER
13 OR 14 CHILDREN."
WELL, DIDN'T THEY KNOW?
YOU'D THINK THEY
COULD'VE COUNTED THEM
WHEN THEY WERE ASLEEP AT NIGHT.
I WANT TO FIND THIS
OLD MAJOR ANDERSON
AND HIS FAMOUS EXPLOITS.
LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU
COME TO THE PART ABOUT ME.
I WONDER WHO THIS
SILLY-LOOKING MAN IS.
HEY, I'LL BET YOU
THAT'S HIM. LET ME SEE IT.
THAT IS HIM!
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
IT'S ALL CRUMBLY.
WELL, YOU WOULDN'T BE IN
SUCH GOOD SHAPE EITHER
IF YOU WERE A COUPLE
OF HUNDRED YEARS OLD.
JUST THINK, KATHY... THIS HERO
IS OUR OWN RELATIVE.
THE BLOOD THAT RAN THROUGH HIS
VEINS IS STILL RUNNING THROUGH OURS.
BOY, THAT'S GOOD
MILEAGE! JUST THINK...
HE USED TO KNOCK AROUND
WITH OLD PAUL REVERE
AND OLD GEORGE WASHINGTON
AND ALL THOSE GUYS.
WISH I'D HAVE LIVED THEN.
LOOK AT THAT FACE.
HE LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE ME.
WHAT A GUY HE MUST'VE BEEN.
AND HE'S MY ANCESTOR.
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
♪♪
Man: WAKE UP IN THERE!
WAKE UP, NATHANIEL!
THE REDCOATS ARE COMING!
ONE IF BY LAND, TWO IF BY SEA,
AND HUNDREDS MORE ON HORSEBACK.
PROTECT YOUR HOMES AND WOMEN.
NATHANIEL, DID YOU
HEAR MR. REVERE?
YES, MOTHER, I HEARD.
OH! WHAT ARE WE
TO DO, NATHANIEL?
FEAR NOT, MOTHER.
NATHANIEL! DID YOU SLEEP
IN YOUR BOOTS AGAIN?
AT TIMES LIKE THESE, A MAN CAN'T
BE CAUGHT WITH HIS BOOTS OFF.
BUT YOU'RE NOT YET A MAN, SON.
BUT YOU'RE WRONG, GOOD
WIFE. HE'S EVERY INCH A MAN.
SON, HIE THEE TO CONCORD
BRIDGE, AND DON'T LET THEM CROSS.
IT'S LIBERTY OR DEATH.
AYE, FATHER.
BUT HE'S NOT YET
OUT OF HIS TEENS.
BUT ONE DAY, OUR SON'S
NAME WILL BE ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY.
WHAT A GUY!
WHAT A GUY!
♪♪
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, GENERAL,
BUT THE DELAWARE
RIVER'S ROUGH TONIGHT,
AND WE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT ACROSS UNLESS
YOU TAKE A BIT OF ADVICE I COULD OFFER.
NATHANIEL!
GENERAL WASHINGTON
HARDLY NEEDS YOUR ADVICE.
PLEASE, SIR, FORGIVE MY SON, FOR
HE IS YET OF A YOUTHFUL TURN OF MIND
AND THEREFORE GIVEN
TO HEADSTRONG AUDACITY.
TRUE, BUT BRAVE AND BRILLIANT.
I'LL LISTEN ANY OLD DAY TO
THE ADVICE OF A YOUNG SCAMP
WHO SINGLE-HANDEDLY
HELD A BRIDGE AT CONCORD
AND FIRED THE SHOT
HEARD 'ROUND THE WORLD.
AND THEN, TOO, WHO
DO YOU THINK IT WAS
WHO THOUGHT UP THIS
PLAN TO SURPRISE THE ENEMY
BY CROSSING THE
DELAWARE TONIGHT?
COME, COME, MAJOR ANDERSON,
WHAT DO YOU ADVISE THIS TIME?
SIR, UNLESS YOU
WANT TO TIP OVER,
YOU SHOULD NOT
STAND UP IN THE BOAT.
ONE DAY, THE NAME OF THIS
LAD IS GOING TO HANG ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY.
GENERAL, BETTER EASE OFF A BIT.
I THINK I SEE THE LIGHTS OF
TRENTON FLICKERING YONDER.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH, NOTHING. YOU
WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR RIGHT HERE.
WHERE? I COULDN'T MAKE
MUCH SENSE OUT OF THIS STUFF.
"ELIJAH HIBBARD ANDERSON
AND HANNAH BIXBY,
"MARRIED DECEMBER 1751.
"THEIR CHILDREN WERE AMOS,
"THANNIE AMELIA, RICHARD WINDHAM
AND NATHANIEL OLIVER." SEE?
"BORN MARCH 1755, BOSTON.
MENTIONED IN CONNECTION WITH
BOSTON TEA INCIDENT." MM-HMM.
HEY, HE WAS ONE OF THE
GUYS AT THE BOSTON TEA PARTY.
SURE. I SEE I WAS RIGHT
ABOUT GENERAL WAYNE.
"TRANSFERRED FROM
CONCORD STATION
TO THE ARMY OF
GENERAL WAYNE, 1779."
GOLLY, IT LOOKS LIKE
EVERYBODY WANTED HIM!
DOES IT SAY ANYTHING MORE
ABOUT HIM ON THE NEXT PAGE?
NO, THAT'S ABOUT ALL.
"DIED JULY 14,
1794, SPRINGFIELD."
"SPRINGFIELD"? HEY,
THAT'S RIGHT HERE.
WELL, THERE ARE A
LOT OF SPRINGFIELDS.
I DOUBT IF IT WAS THIS ONE.
I'LL BET THE LIBRARIAN COULD HELP YOU DIG
UP A LOT OF STUFF ON OLD MAJOR ANDERSON.
HAVE YOU COME TO
THE PART ABOUT ME YET?
OH, KITTEN, THIS HASN'T
BEEN KEPT UP AT ALL.
I DON'T EVEN THINK I'M IN IT.
COME ON, ALL YOU HISTORIANS,
IT'S PAST EVERYONE'S BEDTIME.
IS MOMMY IN IT?
NO. YOU SEE, MOMMY
WASN'T AN ANDERSON.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME
YOU DIDN'T GET IN
OUR FAMOUS FAMILY LIKE WE DID.
OH, I COME FROM A PRETTY
GOOD FAMILY MYSELF.
WE JUST DON'T SIT
AROUND BRAGGING ABOUT IT.
COME ON, MISS 1928,
TAKE THAT STUFF
OFF AND GO TO BED.
I'LL BET MOM'S JEALOUS.
WELL, JUST DON'T FORGET, SHE'S A
PRETTY IMPORTANT ANCESTOR OF YOURS.
YEAH. HEY, DAD, CAN I TAKE THIS
WITH ME TO SCHOOL TOMORROW?
SURE. JUST BE CAREFUL WITH IT.
BOY, I CAN JUST SEE
THOSE KIDS' EYES BUG OUT
WHEN I SPRING THIS
ON 'EM TOMORROW.
MAN!
AND I SEE THAT EVERYONE
HAS SELECTED A PERSONALITY
FOR OUR TERM PAPER ON
REVOLUTIONARY WAR HEROES...
EXCEPT BUD ANDERSON.
HAVE YOU PICKED ONE YET, BUD?
YES, MA'AM, I HAVE.
I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE
ABOUT ONE OF MY RELATIVES.
YOUR RELATIVES? YES, MA'AM.
MAJOR NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
HE WAS A FAMOUS
REVOLUTIONARY WAR HERO.
OH, SURE, SURE. BIG HERO.
WELL, HE WAS!
HE WAS A LEADER IN
THE BOSTON TEA PARTY
AND HE LED "MAD ANTHONY"
WAYNE'S CHARGE ON STONY POINT,
AND I GOT A PICTURE OF HIM.
WHERE'D YOU GET IT? OUT
OF A WEIGH-IN MACHINE?
SEE THERE? HIS
NAME'S RIGHT ON IT...
"MAJOR NATHANIEL
OLIVER ANDERSON."
HEY, THE OLD BOY'S CRACKED.
Teacher: ALL RIGHT,
CLASS, PLEASE.
ORLO, THAT WILL DO.
BUD, IF THIS IS YOUR
IDEA OF A JOKE...
IT'S NOT A JOKE. IT'S THE TRUTH.
HE'S LISTED IN OUR
FAMILY "GENEALOLOGY,"
AND THIS PICTURE'S
GENUINE AUTHENTIC.
AND-AND HE WAS KILLED
RIGHT HERE IN SPRINGFIELD...
FIGHTING INDIANS, I THINK.
PROBABLY PUSHING WEST
WITH GEORGE ROGERS CLARK.
SURE, HE WAS.
WELL, I CAN PROVE
THE WHOLE THING!
SO LONG, MAJOR. LOOK
OUT FOR THOSE INDIANS.
IS THIS MAJOR ANDERSON
REALLY LISTED IN YOUR GENEALOGY?
YES, MA'AM. YOU CAN ASK MY DAD.
HMM. BUD, IF WHAT
YOU SAY IS TRUE,
THIS COULD MAKE A
VERY INTERESTING PAPER.
HEY, MAJOR, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
WEAR TO THE BOSTON TEA PARTY?
AND DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THE SCOFFERS.
PERHAPS ONE DAY, THE
NAME OF MAJOR ANDERSON
WILL BE ON THE LIPS
OF EVERY SCHOOLBOY
IN SPRINGFIELD.
RIGHT HERE, MOTHER.
THIS PARAGRAPH... READ IT.
BETTY, I'LL READ YOUR SCHOOLWORK
LATER. I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE...
BUT IT'LL JUST TAKE A
SECOND. IT'S ABOUT US.
"US"?
"THE DISCOVERY THAT
THE DIRECT DESCENDENTS
"OF A REVOLUTIONARY WAR HERO
ARE RESIDENTS OF SPRINGFIELD
"WAS BROUGHT TO LIGHT
WHEN BUD ANDERSON,
IN SELECTING A SUBJECT
FOR A HISTORY PAPER..."
WELL, FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
WHO DO YOU SUPPOSE PUT THAT IN?
PROBABLY BUD'S HISTORY TEACHER.
OOH, WE'RE FAMOUS NOW, MOTHER!
OH, GUESS WHAT, FATHER?
YOU GUESS WHAT. THERE'S A LITTLE
SCOOP ABOUT THE ANDERSONS IN THE PAPER.
I KNOW. I WAS JUST READING IT.
I DON'T MEAN THAT, I MEAN THIS.
IT'S RIGHT THERE IN
THE THIRD COLUMN. SEE?
"SPRINGFIELD MAY BE BURIAL SITE
OF REVOLUTIONARY WAR HERO."
SAY, HE'S GOTTEN
TO BE A HERO BY NOW.
YEAH, THE OLD BOY'S
DOING ALL RIGHT.
GEE, "HE LED THE CHARGE
AGAINST STONY POINT."
IS THAT TRUE?
WELL, I THINK WHOEVER GAVE OUT THE
FACTS MAY HAVE EXAGGERATED A LITTLE.
AND I CAN GUESS
WHO IT WAS. THAT BUD...
HE NEVER DOES
ANYTHING BY HALVES.
NO, IT'S NOTHING OR TOO MUCH.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM IN
THE SCHOOL LIBRARY TODAY.
ACTUALLY READING SOME
BOOKS, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT.
DADDY, CAN I BORROW YOUR PENCIL?
PATTY DAVIS WANTS MY AUTOGRAPH.
- YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
- WHAT FOR?
SHE WANTS TO SHOW IT TO HER
CHILDREN WHEN SHE GROWS UP.
'CAUSE I'M HISTORICAL NOW.
HELLO? OH, YES, MISS WOODRUFF.
NO, BUD ISN'T HOME YET.
COULD I TAKE A MESSAGE?
WELL, YES.
I FEEL THAT THIS
INFORMATION ON MR. ANDERSON
IS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN JUST A TERM PAPER,
AND I WAS WONDERING
IF WE MIGHT INDUCE BUD
TO READ IT AT OUR
FRIDAY NIGHT PTA MEETING.
WELL, I THINK THAT'LL
BE A FINE THING,
AND I'M SURE WE
CAN TALK BUD INTO IT.
I SEE. WELL, I'D SAY GO
AHEAD AND COUNT ON IT.
ALL RIGHT. FINE, MISS WOODRUFF.
GOODBYE.
WELL, SIR, DO I
HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.
YEAH? YOU'RE GONNA DELIVER
YOUR HISTORICAL THESIS
ON MAJOR ANDERSON BEFORE
THE MEMBERS OF THE PTA.
I AM? ON FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU. I
HAVEN'T GOT ANY PAPER TO READ.
I COULDN'T FIND ONE SINGLE
WORD ON THE MAJOR. WHAT?
YOU SURE THIS GUY WASN'T A FIG
NEWTON OF SOMEBODY'S IMAGINATION?
NO, HE REALLY LIVED. I'M SURE
THERE ARE RECORDS ON HIM.
NOT IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY.
OH, WELL, YOU HAVE TO
GO TO THE PUBLIC LIBRARY.
I'M SURE THEY MUST HAVE OLD,
AUTHENTIC DOCUMENTS ON THAT PERIOD.
ASK THE LIBRARIAN. SHE'LL KNOW.
PERSONALLY, I THINK YOU OUGHT TO
GIVE THE WHOLE THING UP RIGHT NOW,
BEFORE YOU GET IN SO
DEEP THAT YOU CAN'T.
NO, I'M IN TOO DEEP ALREADY.
I GOT TO FIND SOMETHING ON THE MAJOR OR
THE KIDS'LL RAZZ ME RIGHT OUT OF SCHOOL.
I JUST GOT TO GET SOMETHING.
♪♪
AND I THINK PERHAPS
YOU WILL FIND
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IN HERE.
BUT REMEMBER, I PERMIT
VERY FEW PEOPLE IN HERE,
AND ONLY FOR VERY
SPECIAL REASONS.
WILL I BE ABLE TO FIND
ANYTHING ON MAJOR AND...
SHH! LOWER YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.
WILL I BE ABLE TO
FIND ANYTHING ON MA...
YOU MUST BE VERY
CAREFUL WITH THESE BOOKS.
THEY ARE VERY OLD
AND VERY VALUABLE.
SIT THERE.
THE PAGES IN THESE
BOOKS ARE VERY BRITTLE
AND TEAR EASILY.
IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
THIS IS FOR THE PTA
AND ONLY BECAUSE OF THE
LOCAL HISTORICAL INTEREST
THAT I AM PERMITTING YOU
ACCESS TO THESE VOLUMES.
I HOPE YOU WILL TREAT
THEM WITH PROPER RESPECT.
YES, MA'AM.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I SAID, "YES, MA'AM."
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.
YOU THINK WE'LL
EVER GET OUT OF HERE?
LOWER YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.
HEY, LOOK! HE'S
LISTED IN THE INDEX!
"ANDERSON, NATHANIEL,
PAGES 131, 132, 207 AND 219."
YEAH!
Librarian: LOWER
YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.
THIS IS THE BOSTON TEA INCIDENT!
YOU THINK THIS
STUFF IS REALLY TRUE?
PROBABLY IS.
LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE
IT SAYS ABOUT HIM.
Librarian: SHH!
IT'S NOT FUNNY!
I KNOW. BUT WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE PTA
SITTING THERE LISTENING TO...
NO, I GUESS IT ISN'T FUNNY.
WHAT ISN'T? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU TELL HIM.
YOU TELL HIM.
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS
GOING ON AROUND HERE?
OH, THAT BUM.
THAT CRUMMY BUM.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, I WOULD
LIKE TO KNOW WHAT'S...
OH, THAT CRUMMY BUM!
YOU SURE THIS IS RIGHT?
IT'S ALL IN THE RECORDS, FATHER.
OH, HELLO, MISS WOODRUFF.
WON'T YOU COME IN? THANK YOU.
MISS WOODRUFF?
WELL, I CAN'T STAY,
BUT I JUST HAD TO STOP BY AND
TELL YOU THE WONDERFUL REACTION
OF THE PTA COMMITTEE
TO MAJOR ANDERSON. OH!
THEY'RE HAVING A SCROLL
MADE HONORING THE MAJOR,
AND THEY WOULD LIKE MR. ANDERSON
TO BE THERE TO ACCEPT IT.
WELL, I THINK THAT'D BE WONDERFUL.
I'M SURE HE'D BE VERY HAPPY TO.
WELL, THAT'S SPLENDID.
OH, I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OCCASION
THE COMMUNITY WILL LONG REMEMBER.
YES. OH, AND ANOTHER THING
THE COMMITTEE THOUGHT WOULD
BE VERY FITTING AND VERY EFFECTIVE,
AND THAT IS TO EMBELLISH
THE READING OF THE PAPER
WITH SEVERAL
HISTORICAL TABLEAUX.
"TABLEAUX"?
TWO OR THREE SCENES
ILLUSTRATING THE HIGHLIGHTS
OF MAJOR ANDERSON'S CAREER.
AND OF COURSE, THESE SHOULD
BE DONE BY THE ANDERSON FAMILY.
THE SCHOOL ART DEPARTMENT WILL
GIVE YOU ALL THE HELP YOU NEED.
WELL, I-I DON'T KNOW...
WELL, MISS WOODRUFF,
IN ALL MODESTY, I FEEL...
OH! THIS IS NO TIME TO
BE MODEST, MR. ANDERSON.
THIS IS TO BE THE
ANDERSONS' NIGHT.
BESIDES, THE COMMITTEE IS
ALREADY MAKING UP THE PROGRAMS.
BUT, MISS WOODRUFF...
NO. I WAS INSTRUCTED
NOT TO TAKE "NO" FOR AN ANSWER,
AND I DON'T INTEND TO.
WELL, I WON'T TAKE UP
ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME.
I JUST HAD TO STOP BY AND
TELL YOU THE GOOD NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, ALL.
DAD, WE CAN'T GET UP THERE
AND TELL ALL THAT STUFF.
AFTER ALL THE BRAGGING I DID, THE KIDS
WOULD RAZZ ME RIGHT OUT OF SCHOOL.
WHAT'S THE BIG DIFFICULTY?
THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
DAD, WHY DIDN'T YOU
STOP MISS WOODRUFF?
WELL, I DIDN'T WANT
TO HAVE TO TELL HER
WHY WE COULDN'T
GO THROUGH WITH IT.
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
THIS WOULD MAKE SOME
VERY INTERESTING TABLEAUX.
WELL, IT'S NOT VERY
FUNNY, MARGARET.
AND DON'T FORGET,
YOU'RE AN ANDERSON TOO.
YOUR REPUTATION IS JUST AS
MUCH AT STAKE AS ANYONE ELSE'S.
WHY COULDN'T WE MOVE OUT OF
TOWN... AT LEAST UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER?
WE'RE IN TOO DEEP.
IF WE DROP IT NOW,
PEOPLE WILL WANT TO KNOW WHY.
AND SOONER OR LATER, SOMEONE'S GONNA START
DIGGING IN THOSE BOOKS IN THE LIBRARY.
COME ON, SON.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
INTO THE DEN, TO WRITE SOME...
HISTORICAL TABLEAUX.
I'M GLAD I DIDN'T COME
FROM A FAMOUS FAMILY.
♪♪
I STILL DON'T SEE
WHY WE CAN'T JUST
MAKE UP SOMETHING
ABOUT THE MAJOR.
NOT WITH THOSE BOOKS IN THE
LIBRARY HANGING HEAVY OVER OUR HEADS.
BESIDES, TRUTH IS TRUTH,
AND YOU HAVE TO STICK TO IT.
AND WE'RE SURE STUCK WITH IT.
I KNOW I CAN'T GO
BACK TO SCHOOL...
NOT WHEN ORLO BATES AND
THE GANG FIND OUT ABOUT THIS.
THAT WILL MAKE
MY LIFE MISERABLE.
I CAN JUST HEAR THEM
HOOTING AND LAUGHING.
YEAH, WHAT A POWERFUL
WEAPON LAUGHTER CAN BE.
LAUGHTER AND TRUTH.
TWO POWERFUL WEAPONS,
AND NEITHER ONE ARE ON OUR SIDE.
DAD, WHY DON'T WE JUST
GET IN A CAR AND SORT OF...
WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
IF THOSE ARE SUCH POWERFUL WEAPONS,
WHY DON'T WE USE THEM OURSELVES?
HUH?
BUD, I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA.
IT COULD TURN OUT TO
BE A MIGHTY POOR ONE,
BUT AT LEAST IT'S AN IDEA,
AND WE'RE GONNA TRY IT.
♪♪
AND THAT'S HOW IT BEGAN...
IN MY HISTORY CLASS.
THEN EXCITEMENT SPREAD RAPIDLY,
CULMINATING IN
THIS EVENT TONIGHT.
NOW, BEFORE OUR PTA PRESIDENT,
MRS. MILLS, MAKES
THE PRESENTATION
HONORING MAJOR
NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON,
WE ARE GOING TO LEARN
ALL ABOUT THE MAJOR
FROM HIS DIRECT DESCENDENTS,
OUR OWN ANDERSON FAMILY.
AND SO IT IS WITH
TREMENDOUS PLEASURE
AND GREAT PRIDE THAT I INTRODUCE
MR. JAMES ANDERSON.
THANK YOU.
WHEN THIS TASK WAS FIRST
THRUST UPON OUR FAMILY,
WE WERE PRETTY FRIGHTENED.
BEING RANK AMATEURS,
AS YOU WILL SOON SEE,
WE ACCEPTED ONLY
WHEN WE REALIZED
THAT PERHAPS THERE WAS
A MORAL TO BE LEARNED
IN THE LIFE OF OUR
NEWLY FAMED ANCESTOR,
AND THAT ALSO THIS
MIGHT SHED A NEW LIGHT
ON THE EVALUATION OF ANCESTORS.
AND SO NOW BEGINS OUR STORY
OF NATHANIEL OLIVER ANDERSON.
IN 1773, THE CITIZENS OF BOSTON
WERE SEETHING UNDER
THE BRITISH ATTEMPT
TO IMPOSE A MONOPOLY
IN TEA ON THE COLONIES.
AND SO ON A COLD DECEMBER
NIGHT, A BRAVE BAND
DISGUISED AS INDIANS DECIDED
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
AMONG THE MEMBERS OF THAT
FAMOUS BOSTON TEA PARTY
WAS A LAD NAMED
NATHANIEL ANDERSON...
BUT NOT A LISTED MEMBER.
NO, HE JOINED OF HIS OWN
VOLITION, UNKNOWN TO THE OTHERS,
AND HE, NOT CONTENT WITH MERELY
THROWING THE TEA OVERBOARD,
WENT ONE STEP FARTHER.
OUR ENTERPRISING HERO
PROSPERED AS A TEA MERCHANT
AND WAS SOON SINGLED
OUT BY HIS FELLOW MEN,
DECORATED, AND GIVEN
AN IMPRESSIVE FAREWELL.
YES, NEATLY CLAD IN HIS TAILORED
TAR-AND-FEATHER SEERSUCKER,
OUR HERO LEFT BOSTON.
HISTORY THEN RECORDS
THAT HE WAS TRANSFERRED
FROM CONCORD STATION TO THE ARMY
OF GENERAL "MAD ANTHONY" WAYNE.
LET US OBSERVE HIM FIRST
IN HIS CONCORD STATION.
SOON OUR HERO AND THE
OTHER ABLE-BODIED GUESTS
IN CONCORD STATION
WERE SENT TO FILL
THE DWINDLING RANKS OF THE ARMY.
ONCE IN UNIFORM, IT DID NOT
TAKE PRIVATE NATHANIEL LONG
TO SHOW HIS TRUE COLORS.
ON THAT HISTORIC NIGHT
WHEN GENERAL WAYNE STORMED
THE FORT AT STONY
POINT, OUR HERO,
IN A DARING EXPLOIT, WAS
SOON ALONE ON THE BATTLEFIELD,
WITH THE OTHERS FAR BEHIND HIM.
AFTER PRIVATE NATHANIEL
PROMOTED HIMSELF TO MAJOR...
WITH A BORROWED UNIFORM...
WE HEAR LITTLE MORE OF HIM
EXCEPT THAT HE TURNED
UP LATER IN SPRINGFIELD.
REST EASILY. NOT
OUR SPRINGFIELD.
AND HERE OUR ILLUSTRIOUS
ANCESTOR ENDED HIS LIFE,
SUSPENDED FROM THE STURDY
LIMB OF SOME FINE OLD FAMILY TREE.
WELL, WE'VE HAD A LITTLE FUN
WILL POOR OLD MAJOR ANDERSON.
UNFORTUNATELY,
ALL OF IT WAS TRUE.
NOW, MANY OF YOU HAVE
ANCESTORS OF WHOM
YOU CAN BE JUSTLY
PROUD, AND YOU SHOULD BE,
FOR IT WAS THEY WHO BUILT THE
FOUNDATIONS OF THIS COUNTRY.
WE HAD HOPED FOR
SUCH AN ANCESTOR,
AND BELIEVE ME, IT WASN'T
EASY FOR US TO UNMASK
THE ONE WE CAME UP WITH,
BUT THEN WE DECIDED TO BORROW THE
SPIRIT OF TRUTH FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON
AND THE TRADITION OF AMERICAN
HUMOR TO TELL OUR STORY.
OUR MORAL? YES, WE HAVE ONE.
VOLTAIRE STATED IT FOR US.
"HE WHO SERVES WELL HIS COUNTRY
HAS NO NEED OF ANCESTORS."
MRS. MILLS,
I KNOW THAT NONE OF THE THINGS
YOU PLANNED TO SAY ABOUT THE SCROLL
WILL FIT NOW.
IN FACT, YOU CAN
HARDLY PRESENT IT NOW.
BUT I WOULD LIKE THE AUDIENCE
TO SEE WHAT A FINE SCROLL IT IS.
♪♪
THIS IS VERY NICE.
AND WE ANDERSONS SINCERELY APPRECIATE
THE THOUGHT AND EFFORT BEHIND IT.
ND I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST THAT
WE GO AHEAD AND HANG IT UP
AS A REMINDER THAT EACH
GENERATION MUST EARN ITS OWN LAURELS,
AND ALSO AS A REMINDER
THAT WE MUST NEVER LOSE THE
ABILITY TO LAUGH AT OURSELVES.
♪♪
♪♪