Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 2, Episode 2 - Father's Private Life - full transcript

Jim thinks the children ask him to solve their problems too much. He decides they need to start finding their own solutions.

Announcer: ROBERT YOUNG...

AND JANE WYATT.

WITH ELINOR DONAHUE, BILLY
GRAY, AND LAUREN CHAPIN...

OHH, MAN!

OH, YOU'RE EARLY. MM-HMM.

IS ANYTHING WRONG?

NO, JUST TIRED. LOTS
OF PROBLEMS TODAY.

FINALLY, ALL I COULD THINK
ABOUT WAS GETTING HOME

AND STRETCHING OUT ON THIS
WONDERFUL, LOVELY DAVENPORT.

OH, DON'T GET UP.

DINNER WON'T BE
READY FOR A WHILE,



SO YOU CAN STRETCH OUT
TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT.

I'LL BRING YOU A NICE COLD
GLASS OF TOMATO JUICE.

AND THEN I'LL SEND
IN SOME NATIVE BOYS

TO FAN YOU WITH PALM LEAVES.

CAN YOU MAKE IT
NATIVE GIRLS? I WILL NOT.

OHH!

HMM.

OOH!

OH, HI, DADDY!

WELL, DID I SURPRISE YOU?

WELL, I THINK A MORE ACCURATE
WORD WOULD BE "MAIMED".

WHAT SHALL WE PLAY, DADDY?
WELL, I DON'T FEEL VERY...

SHOULD WE GO HUNTING LIONS,

OR CLIMB UP INTO THE
ATTIC AND EXPLORE?



WELL, IT'S A FINE CHOICE.

BUT, UH, I TELL YOU WHAT...

WHY DON'T YOU GO AND DRAW
ME A PICTURE? SURPRISE ME.

THAT'S BABY STUFF. LET'S
HUNT LIONS. COME ON, DADDY.

GREAT. GEE, YOU'RE
JUST IN TIME TO HELP...

NO, YOU DON'T,
BUD! I SAW HIM FIRST!

I GOTTA DO A
PROJECT FOR SCIENCE.

WEATHER CONDITIONS AND ALL THAT.

DADDY AND I ARE
PLAYING. GO AWAY.

WE CAN EVEN MAKE AN ANEMOMETER.
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

THAT'S A GIZMO FOR
MEASURING... WIND VELOCITY.

VELOCITY MEANS SPEED, YOU KNOW.

NO, REALLY?

YEAH, BUT I'M NOT GONNA
MAKE ONE OF THOSE.

COME ON, DADDY.
WILL YOU GO AWAY?

BUD.

GEE, NOBODY EVER PLAYS WITH ME.

WAIT, KITTEN. DON'T
CRY. I'LL PLAY WITH YOU.

WILL YOU PLAY HORSEY?

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

INSTEAD OF MAKING THAT,
I'LL MAKE A WEATHER VANE.

I'M GONNA MAKE IT OUT OF...

WELL, COME ON, DAD! HONEY!

GET DOWN, HORSEY.

OH! TAKE IT EASY.
YOU'RE GETTING HEAVY.

GIDDYAP! GIDDYAP!

DAD, YOU HAVEN'T
BEEN LISTENING TO ME.

YES, I HAVE. YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE A WEATHER VANE,

AND I SAY FINE, GO TO IT.

GIDDYAP! GIDDYAP! ALL RIGHT.

I CAN'T MAKE THE ARROW
LOOK RIGHT, THOUGH.

LOOK AT IT. IT'S ALL COCKEYED.

I NEED YOUR HELP, DAD.

FATHER, YOU'RE JUST
THE MAN I WANT TO SEE.

I HAVE TO WORK ON A PAPER
ON THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION.

HOW LONG DO YOU
THINK IT'LL TAKE YOU?

TAKE ME?

I MEAN, TAKE YOU TO HELP
ME TO... OH, YOU KNOW.

I ALREADY HAVE A
FEW NOTES ON IT.

SHOULD TAKE US OVER
A COUPLE OF HOURS.

DAD IS HELPING ME MAKE A
WEATHER VANE TONIGHT, THANK YOU.

NO, HE ISN'T!

CHILDREN, CHILDREN,
LEAVE YOUR FATHER ALONE.

LET THE POOR MAN
HAVE A LITTLE REST.

I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE!

BETTY, I WANT YOU AND
KATHY IN THE KITCHEN.

AND, BUD, I'VE ASKED YOU FIVE
TIMES TO PUT AWAY THE LAWN MOWER.

I'LL DO IT, BUT... I
WANT IT DONE NOW.

COME ON, ALL OF YOU.
MOVE, SCURRY, SCRAM.

OKAY, I'M GOING, I'M GOING.

YOU TOO, TOM MIX. DISMOUNT.

OHH, GOSH!

OHH!

AND I'M THE GUY WHO
RUSHED HOME FROM THE OFFICE

TO GET AWAY FROM PROBLEMS.

WHY DON'T YOU TRY SAYING
NO ONCE IN A WHILE? I MEAN IT.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULD...
BEFORE IT KILLS ME.

WELL, THAT'LL MAKE AN
INTERESTING NOTATION

ON YOUR DEATH CERTIFICATE...

"CAUSE OF DEATH... CHILDREN."

OH, WHAT AN EVENING.

I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION

THAT ALL FATHERS
SHOULD BE TRIPLETS.

FATHERS SHOULD PUT THEIR
FOOT DOWN ONCE IN A WHILE,

SAVE A LITTLE TIME
FOR THEMSELVES.

YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE SO RIGHT.

I CAN'T EVEN FIND TIME TO
READ THE PAPER ANYMORE.

I HARDLY KNOW WHETHER COOLIDGE
HAS CHOSEN NOT TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

OR IF LINDBERGH
MADE IT TO PARIS.

HE MADE IT. MOVE OVER.
I WANT TO GO TO BED.

OKAY. SO IT'S HIGH TIME I
DID SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.

A MAN OUGHT TO HAVE A
LITTLE TIME FOR HIMSELF.

DO YOU REALIZE OUR LIVES
AREN'T OUR OWN ANYMORE?

WE'RE NOTHING BUT
SERVANTS TO THOSE KIDS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE
BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU?

WELL, IT'S TRUE. I'M GONNA
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

DON'T ARGUE WITH ME. I'M FOR IT.

ONE DAY I BROUGHT HOME
SOME HI-FI EQUIPMENT.

WANTED TO START A GREAT HOBBY.

AND WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.

IT'S GONNA BE A DIFFERENT
STORY FROM NOW ON.

A DIFFERENT STORY...

BEGINNING AS OF THIS MOMENT.

I, JAMES ANDERSON, DECLARE
MYSELF FREE AND INDEPENDENT.

HI. I HAD A FEELING
SOMEONE WAS WATCHING ME.

OH, I'M JUST CHECKING UP
ON THE NEW JIM ANDERSON.

I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO IT.

OH, YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR HUSBAND.

ON THE SURFACE... EASYGOING,
GENIAL, CHARMING, CARE-FREE.

BUT UNDERNEATH, A
VERITABLE BULLDOG!

FEARLESS, DETERMINED, TENACIOUS.

WHEN I MAKE UP MY MI... OW!

THAT'S HOT. OOH!

WELL, DON'T TRY AND SET
THE WORLD ON FIRE, BULLDOG.

LET ME SHOW YOU
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

I'M GONNA TAKE THESE FOUR UNITS

AND PUT THEM IN
THE CABINET HERE...

IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

I'LL CALL YOU WHEN
DINNER'S READY.

HELLO, PRINCESS.

HEY, WHAT'S ALL THIS
GUNK STREWED ALL OVER?

THIS GUNK IS GONNA
BE A HIGH FIDELITY SET.

WHEN I GET THROUGH,
WE'LL BE ABLE TO HEAR MUSIC

LIKE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE,

WITH EVERYTHING
THERE IS TO HEAR...

ALL THE HIGHS AND
LOWS, ALL THE SHADINGS.

WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET NOTES SO
HIGH, ONLY A DOG CAN HEAR THEM.

THAT'LL BE NICE. I CAN SEE ALL
THE DOGS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

LOUNGING AROUND IN HERE
LISTENING TO BEETHOVEN.

UH, BETTY... COULD YOU
STAND SOMEPLACE ELSE?

AM I BOTHERING YOU?

FRANKLY, YES. OH, I DON'T
MIND YOU BEING IN HERE.

IT'S JUST THAT, UH, I CAN'T STAND
HAVING ANYONE LOOK OVER MY SHOULDER.

IT, UH, I... I...

BETTY, COME ALONG. THIS IS
OUT OF BOUNDS, REMEMBER?

SAY, DID YOU KNOW FATHER'S MAKING
A LITTLE PHONOGRAPH FOR DOGS?

HOW'S IT COMING, DAD?

OH, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU SOLDERING
THAT ON THERE FOR?

BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE IT GOES.

I THINK YOU'RE WRONG, DAD.

BUD, YOU MIND NOT
LEANING OVER MY SHOULDER?

EXCUSE ME.

CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE, DAD?

I SORT OF GOT A
PROBLEM, SORT OF.

OH, WHAT IS IT?

WELL, YOU SEE... BUD.

I JUST WANT TO TALK
TO HIM FOR A MINUTE.

I GOT A PROBLEM I
HAVE TO DISCUSS.

ACCORDING TO THE NEW RULES,

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGURE YOUR
PROBLEMS OUT YOURSELF, REMEMBER?

YEAH, BUT... COME ON.

OKAY.

SORRY, SIR. THEY
WILL SLIP THROUGH

THE OUTER DEFENSES, SIR.

BUD, I THOUGHT I TOLD
YOU NOT TO GO IN THERE.

I KNOW, MOM.

HAVEN'T I EXPLAINED
TO YOU CHILDREN

THAT YOUR FATHER DESERVES
A LITTLE TIME FOR HIMSELF?

HE WORKS VERY
HARD FOR ALL OF US.

YEAH, I KNOW ALL THAT, MOM.

BUT YOU KNOW THE
RULE DAD SET DOWN

ABOUT ALL US KIDS GOING TO HIM

WHENEVER WE'VE
DONE ANYTHING WRONG

AND TELLING HIM OURSELVES.

'CAUSE IF HE EVER FINDS IT OUT
FROM SOMEBODY ELSE, UH-OH.

I SEE. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I, UH, SCRATCHED UP THE
SEAT OF HIS CAR A LITTLE BIT

WITH SOME BROKEN GLASS.

WELL, THAT'S NOT SO BAD.

WHERE'D THE BROKEN
GLASS COME FROM?

THE WINDSHIELD.

THE WINDSHIELD?

WELL, HOW DID THAT GET BROKEN?

THE HEAD OF ONE OF HIS
GOLF CLUBS WENT THROUGH IT.

THE HEAD?

IT SOMEHOW CAME
OFF WHEN I, UH...

ACCIDENTALLY SWUNG
IT AGAINST A STEEL POST.

I'D BETTER GO TELL HIM.

NO, THIS IS NOT THE
TIME TO TELL HIM.

LET ME HANDLE THIS LATER.

BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM.

YEAH, I KNOW. BUT I'LL
TAKE CARE OF IT THIS TIME.

WE DON'T WANT TO SPOIL
THINGS FOR HIM THE FIRST DAY.

BE SURE AND TELL HIM, 'CAUSE
I DON'T WANT TO GET IN DUTCH.

YOU'RE ALREADY IN.

Kathy: HI, DADDY!

HELLO, KITTEN.

HOW DO I LOOK, DADDY?

FINE. EGAD!

SCARE YOU, DADDY?

OUT OF AT LEAST
TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT THING?

OH, ME AND PATTY DAVIS GOT IT.

I KNOW, BUT WHERE?

DOWN AT THE MOVIE THEATER.

IT'S JUST AN OLD ONE.

WHY DID YOU HAVE
TO BRING IT HOME?

WE THOUGHT IT'D BE
FUN TO PLAY WITH...

'CAUSE HE'S SO CUTE.

Margaret: KATHY?
ARE YOU IN THE DEN?

NO!

I MEAN, YES!

Margaret: WELL,
COME OUT RIGHT NOW.

BUT, MOMMY!

RIGHT NOW! OH, OKAY.

WILL YOU TAKE CARE
OF HIM FOR ME, DADDY?

I GUESS SO.

OH! HIS NAME IS FLOYD.

FLOYD?

AFTER ALL YOUR
FATHER'S DONE FOR YOU,

ALL THE SACRIFICES HE'S MADE,

I DON'T THINK IT'S
TOO MUCH TO ASK YOU

TO COOPERATE WITH HIM A LITTLE,

LET HIM ENJOY HIMSELF
A BIT. AFTER ALL, HE...

BUD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I'M SANDING MY WEATHER VANE.

GOTTA HAVE SMOOTH
EDGES, YOU KNOW.

TURN THAT THING OFF!

I'M NOT DONE YET.
OH, YES, YOU ARE.

YOU'RE RUINING MY MIXER.

YOU JUST SAID WE WERE SUPPOSED

TO WORK THINGS
OUT FOR OURSELVES.

WELL, WORK THEM OUT...
DOORS, IS WHAT I MEANT.

Patty: KATHY! KATHY!

DON'T GO AWAY, NOW.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, PATTY?

THEY FOUND OUT.

THEY DID? HOW'D THEY FIND OUT?

MY DADDY WAS IN THE DRUG STORE
WHEN THE MOVIE FELLA CAME IN

AND ASKED HIM IF THEY SAW
ANYBODY TAKING FLOYD AWAY.

UH-OH.

THE DRUG STORE MAN SAID
HE SAW TWO LITTLE GIRLS,

BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS US. SNITCHER.

MY DADDY SAYS THERE'S A WAVE OF
JUVENILE... DELICATESSENS ON NOW.

DO YOU THINK WE'LL GET ARRESTED?

IF THEY FIND OUT IT WAS US.

AT LEAST YOU'LL GET ARRESTED,

'CAUSE YOU GOT THE HABEAS
DELICTI CORPUS. WHAT?

THE BODY. DON'T YOU EVER
LISTEN TO DRAGNET, SILLY?

GEE, I'D BETTER GET RID OF FLOYD

BEFORE THEY FIND HIM HERE.

BOY, YOU'D BETTER.

"AND HAD INTRODUCED THE
MANUFACTURED TOOLS ON A LARGE SCALE,

"AND ALSO, THE USE
OF POWER TOOLS

BEGAN TO REPLACE
SOME HAND LABOR."

NOT IN OUR LITTLE HOME.

SANDING BY HAND.

BOY, THIS PLACE IS A
THROWBACK TO THE 14th CENTURY.

WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING, SNOOPY?

UH... NO, YOU DON'T.

YES, I DO. I HAVE TO GO IN
THERE FOR JUST A SECOND.

I HAVE TO GET THE...
DELECTABLE CORPUS.

LOOK, IF YOU DON'T
STOP BOTHERING FATHER,

YOU'RE GONNA GET SPANKED
ON YOUR DELECTABLE CORPUS.

AREN'T YOU RUDE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL DO.

IF THIS WEATHER VANE COMES
OUT ALL JAGGED AND ROUGH

AND I FLUNK GENERAL
SCIENCE ON ACCOUNT OF IT,

YOU KNOW WHOSE FAULT IT'LL BE.

I CAUGHT HER JUST AS SHE
WAS TRYING TO SNEAK IN THE DEN.

OH, KATHY, HOW MANY TIMES
DO YOU HAVE TO BE TOLD A THING?

WHEN YOU'RE TOLD NOT TO
BOTHER DADDY, THAT MEANS NOT...

HEY, DO I SMELL
SOMETHING BURNING?

OH, HEAVENS.

OH, IT'S NOT TOO BAD.

WHEN YOU'RE TOLD NOT
TO BOTHER SOMEONE...

KATHY!

KATHY, WHERE ARE YOU?

KATHY?

I THINK THE DELECTABLE
CORPUS IS GONNA GET HABEASED.

AH-AH-AH.

KATHY, WHAT'S COME OVER YOU?

WELL, I HAVE TO GO IN
THERE FOR JUST A SECOND.

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU SO
DELIBERATELY DISOBEDIENT BEFORE.

I THINK MAYBE YOU'D BETTER GO
UP TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE

UNTIL YOU CAN ACT LIKE THE SWEET
LITTLE GIRL WE USED TO HAVE AROUND HERE.

BUT, MOMMY! KATHY, NOW.

AND YOU STAY THERE TILL I TELL
YOU YOU CAN COME DOWN AGAIN.

THE WHOLE WORLD'S AGAINST ME.

Jim: MARGARET?

YIKES!

OH, I'M SORRY. HEH HEH.

I GUESS THIS IS A BIT STARTLING.

IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE
BEEN WORKING ON?

NO, NO, NO. THIS IS FLOYD. HMM?

IT'S KATHY... SOMETHING
SHE DRAGGED HOME.

I HATE TO ADMIT THIS,

BUT I JUST CAN'T WORK WITH
THIS DARNED THING LEERING AT ME.

I KEEP FEELING THERE'S SOMEONE IN
THE ROOM LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER.

WELL, DON'T GIVE HIM TO ME.

HOW DO YOU GET RID
OF A THING LIKE THIS?

CALL THE IMMIGRATION AUTHORITIES
AND HAVE HIM DEPORTED?

WELL... OH, THERE'S A RUBBISH
COLLECTION TOMORROW.

I'LL RESERVE FLOYD A FINE
SEAT ON THE TRASH WAGON.

IT'S KATHY'S. DON'T YOU THINK
WE'D BETTER CHECK WITH HER?

OH, I USED TO DO THAT
QUITE FAITHFULLY...

UNTIL I LEARNED THAT FIVE MINUTES
AFTER SHE DRAGS THESE THINGS HOME,

SHE LOSES ALL INTEREST IN THEM.

WELL, FLOYD, OLD MAN, IT'S
BEEN NICE TO HAVE MET YOU.

BYE-BYE. HAVE A NICE JOURNEY.

I'VE GOT TO GET FLOYD SOMEHOW.

I'VE GOT TO HIDE HIM.

IF ANYBODY SEES
HIM HERE, I'M COOKED.

NOW EVERYBODY WILL KNOW.

YOU'D BETTER CLEAN UP FOR
DINNER, JIM. IT'S NEARLY READY.

Jim: OKAY!

KATHY, YOU CAN COME DOWN NOW.

Margaret: KATHY?

KATHY?

KATHY?

WELL!

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

I WAS JUST TRYING TO
GET SOME FRESH AIR.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?

MOMMY, CAN'T I GO OUT
THERE AND GET FLOYD?

NO. YOU COME INSIDE THIS MINUTE.

AND YOU'RE GOING TO STAY IN
HERE THE REST OF THE EVENING.

BUT, MOMMY, I JUST
WANT TO GO OUT THERE

AND HIDE FLOYD. I'VE GOT TO!

KATHY, PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME ANY
MORE TROUBLE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE.

NOW, THERE. YOU PUT
EVERYTHING BACK THE WAY IT WAS.

CLIMBING OUT OF A
WINDOW, OF ALL THINGS!

I'M GONNA SEND YOUR DINNER UP,

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
GONNA LEAVE THIS ROOM.

CAN I CALL PATTY? NO.

WELL, THEN, WILL YOU THROW
SOMETHING OVER FLOYD

SO THAT NOBODY WILL S...

SO HE WON'T CATCH COLD?

I'M SURE THAT FLOYD
CAN STAND THE NIGHT AIR.

THE QUESTION IS, CAN THE
NIGHT AIR STAND FLOYD?

BUD.

BUD.

WAKE UP, BUD.

HUH? WHAT?! WHAT?! SHH!

IT'S ME, BUD.

OH, YOU. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

GO BACK TO BED, KNUCKLE-BRAIN.

BUD, I'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOU.

I GOTTA TALK TO SOMEBODY.

TALK TO YOURSELF. I
WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.

BUD, THIS IS SERIOUS.

DO YOU WANT ME TO GO TO JAIL?

YEAH.

BUD, I NEED HELP.

I'M... I'M A THIEF.

YOU'RE A WHAT?

SHH. NOT SO LOUD. A THIEF.

EVERY TIME I HEAR A CAR GO BY,

I THINK THEY'RE COMING
AFTER ME FOR SURE.

WHAT DID YOU THIEVE... OR STEAL?

FLOYD. HUH?

YOU KNOW... THAT ZULU
OUT BY THE TRASH CAN.

THAT CARDBOARD NATIVE.

OH, THAT OLD THING.

WELL, YOU KNOW BETTER
THAN TO STEAL THINGS.

WELL, WE DIDN'T REALLY STEAL IT.

WE JUST SORT OF TOOK IT.

DID YOU TELL DAD ABOUT IT?

I CAN'T GET NEAR HIM.

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

I DON'T WANT HIM TO
FIND OUT NOW. I'D DIE.

THEN YOU'D BETTER TAKE THAT THING
BACK TO THE THEATER IN THE MORNING.

OH, NO! I COULDN'T
STAND TO FACE HIM.

I COULDN'T STAND IT.

BUT YOU GOT TO. I JUST CAN'T!

WELL... WHAT DO
YOU WANT ME TO DO?

GO OUT THERE AND
GET FLOYD AND HIDE HIM.

NOW?

BUT IT'S COLD OUT THERE.

YOU GOTTA DO IT BEFORE MORNING,

BEFORE ANYBODY SEES HIM.

OH, FOR... OKAY.

YOU GO GET SOME SLEEP.

OH, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE THE MOST WONDERFULEST
BROTHER IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

AW, TURN BLUE.

FLOYD... I HATE YOU.

GOOD MORNING, BUD. MORNING, DAD.

YOU SLEEP OKAY LAST NIGHT?

YEAH, SURE.

YOU DIDN'T HEAR
ANY STRANGE NOISES,

LIKE SOMEONE WALKING AROUND?

UH, WELL, NO. I...

ONCE I GET TO SLEEP, I HARDLY
EVER HEAR ANYTHING AT ALL.

I GUESS IT WAS
JUST MY IMAGINATION.

PLANNING A HUNTING
TRIP, ARE YOU?

OH, THAT. THAT...

THAT JUST SORT OF HAPPENED
TO BE LAYING THERE, I GUESS.

HERE, I'LL PUT IT AWAY.

MM-HMM.

I'LL SEE YOU DOWNSTAIRS
AT BREAKFAST.

WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST
DREAMT YOU SAW BUD

TIPTOEING PAST THE
DOOR LAST NIGHT.

NO, I KNOW I SAW HIM.

I GAVE HIM EVERY OPPORTUNITY
TO TELL ME WHAT HE WAS UP TO.

BUT NOT A WORD. THIS ISN'T BUD.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I COULD'VE SWORN I BOUGHT A
NEW BOX OF CEREAL YESTERDAY.

I CERTAINLY CAN'T FIND IT.

WELL, MAYBE THERE'LL
BE ENOUGH IN THIS ONE.

HE'S WELL AWARE OF THE
RULES ON TELLING THE TRUTH

AND NOT HAVING ME FIND THESE
THINGS OUT FROM SOMEONE ELSE.

OH, GOOD HEAVENS.
I'M SHORT OF MILK, TOO.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
THE MATTER WITH ME.

I'LL GIVE BUD ONE MORE CHANCE
WHEN HE GETS DOWN HERE.

ONE MORE CHANCE, AND THAT'S ALL.

BETTY, WAIT A MINUTE.

I GOTTA TALK TO
YOU FOR A SECOND.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOOFED UP NOW?

NOTHING. IT'S KATHY. WE GOTTA
FIGURE OUT SOME WAY TO HELP HER.

SHE'S FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS

'CAUSE SHE THINKS
SHE'S A THIEF... AND SHE IS.

A THIEF?

SHE TOOK THAT GOOFY
CUTOUT... OLD FLOYD...

FROM IN FRONT OF THE THEATER
WITHOUT ASKING ANYBODY.

OH, GEE, SHE'D BETTER TELL
DAD ABOUT IT RIGHT AWAY.

IT'S TOO LATE NOW. BESIDES, I
PROMISED HER HE'D NEVER FIND OUT.

YES, BUT IF HE DOES FIND
OUT... HE ALWAYS DOES...

WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT
SOME WAY THAT HE WON'T.

I'VE GOT OLD FLOYD HIDDEN
OUT IN BACK OF THE GARAGE,

BUT WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

GOSH, I'M SURE THE MOVIE THEATER

ISN'T GONNA CLOSE
UP ON ACCOUNT OF IT.

NO, BUT THE POINT IS,
SHE TOOK SOMETHING,

AND SHE'S GOTTA LEARN
THAT THAT'S WRONG.

BUT WE CAN'T LET HER THROW
HERSELF OUT OF A WINDOW

AND COMMIT HARI-KARI.

LET ME THINK. MAYBE
WE... SHH. CUT IT.

WELL, WHAT DO WE HAVE
HERE? A CONFERENCE?

NO, UH... JUST YAKKIN'.

MORNING, FATHER.

HMM.

HI, MOM. HI, DEAR.

NO TOAST FOR ME, MOTHER. JUST
GRAPEFRUIT. I'M GAINING WEIGHT.

GAINING WHAT? IS KATHY UP YET?

GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
HER DOOR WAS CLOSED.

YOU'D BETTER CALL HER.
SHE'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

OH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

Jim: MARGARET!

MARGARET, WHAT HAPPENED
TO MY WINDSHIELD? IT'S BROKEN.

OH... MOM, YOU SAID...

I KNOW, I KNOW.
JIM, IT WAS MY FAULT.

MARGARET, YOU DID IT?
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

OH, I DIDN'T DO IT. IT WAS BUD.

MOM! YES, YES, YES.

JIM, IT WAS MY FAULT THAT BUD
DIDN'T COME TO TELL YOU HIMSELF.

HE WANTED TO, BUT I DIDN'T
WANT HIM TO BOTHER YOU.

I PROMISED HIM
THAT... BOTHER ME?

MARGARET, YOU KNOW THAT THE
ONE RULE I'VE ALWAYS INSISTED ON...

I KNOW, DEAR. I THOUGHT
THAT IN THIS CASE...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENING AROUND HERE.

JIM, I JUST TOLD YOU WHY
BUD DIDN'T COME TO YOU.

IT'S NOT ONLY THAT. THERE ARE A
FEW OTHER STRANGE THINGS GOING ON,

AND I WANT TO
KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.

BUD...

I SAW YOU UP WANDERING
AROUND LAST NIGHT.

I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

COME ON, LET'S HAVE IT.

KATHY, MOTHER WANTS
YOU TO GET RIGHT UP AND...

NO, DAD. I CAN'T TELL YOU.

I JUST CAN'T.

YOU CAN STRETCH ME ON
THE RACK AND THE GIBLET,

BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT
I WAS DOING LAST NIGHT.

BESIDES, I PROMISED
KATHY I WOULDN'T.

KATHY? WHAT'S SHE
GOT TO DO WITH THIS?

YOU DON'T WANT US KIDS TO
SNITCH ON EACH OTHER, DO YOU?

NO, THAT'S RIGHT.

FATHER, MOTHER!
SHE WASN'T THERE!

THIS IS ALL I FOUND.

"TO DADDY... TAKE MY MONEY...

"AND PAY FOR FLOYD,

"BUT DON'T TELL I STOLE HIM.

"I'M HIDING OUT TILL
THINGS BLOW OVER.

GOOD-BYE. KATHY."

GOOD-BYE?!

COME ON, KEEP TALKING.
YOU'RE NOT SNITCHING NOW,

NOT WHEN IT INVOLVES
YOUR SISTER'S SAFETY.

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER KATHY
CAME INTO YOUR ROOM LAST NIGHT?

WELL, WHEN I SAW
HOW SCARED SHE WAS,

I SENT HER BACK TO BED,

THEN WENT OUT IN
FRONT AND GOT OLD FLOYD

AND TOOK HIM IN BACK...

IN BACK. MAYBE
THAT'S WHERE SHE IS.

MARGARET, YOU AND
BETTY CHECK UPSTAIRS.

BUD, YOU GET THE BASEMENT.

HI, DADDY.

YOU HAVING A GOOD
BREAKFAST, KITTEN?

NO. IT'S AWFUL.

OH, DADDY!

I FEEL SO... SO OUTSIDE.

AND I WANT TO BE INSIDE!

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
YOU MEAN, HONEY.

I WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL
PRETTY OUTSIDE MYSELF.

OH, KATHY, HONEY,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YES, BUT I DON'T
WANT TO BE ARRESTED.

OH, ANGEL, YOU WON'T.

WE'LL STRAIGHTEN THAT OUT.

IF YOU'D ONLY TOLD
US RIGHT AWAY...

BUT I WASN'T SUPPOSED
TO BOTHER DADDY...

OH, PLEASE BOTHER ME.

YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW I
MISSED BEING BOTHERED.

IN THAT CASE, DAD, I
GOT THIS WEATHER VANE.

OH, BUD, NOT NOW.

OH, LET HIM TALK.
LET EVERYONE TALK.

GOSH, WE WERE
GETTING TO BE A MOTOR

WITH EACH SPARKPLUG
OPERATING INDEPENDENTLY

AND WONDERING WHY
THE MOTOR WOULDN'T RUN.

AND IT TOOK AN OUTSIDER
TO MAKE US UNDERSTAND.

THANKS, OLD MAN.