Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 1, Episode 4 - Football Tickets - full transcript
Jim has an extra ticket for the football game, and since Margaret cannot go, Betty is chosen. A friend of Jim's visits him and says he will buy insurance from Jim if he gets the extra ticket, Jim has to tell Betty she cannot go.
Robert Young and Jane Wyatt,
with Elinor Donahue, Billy
Gray and Lauren Chapin...
Mother and junior members
of the Anderson household.
As you well know,
the most important
football game of the year
takes place tomorrow afternoon.
This year, your mother
has declined to go.
Therefore, I am in a position
to invite one of
you to be my guest
and companion at
tomorrow's game.
Oh, how completely divine!
What a bomb!
Kathy, aren't you excited?
Sure! What time do we go?
You may not be
the lucky one, Kathy.
What are we going
to do? Draw straws?
Oh, how perfectly infantile.
Now, now, now. We're going
to have a legitimate contest.
I want each one
of you to tell me,
in 25 words or less,
why you should be the
one to go to the game.
Your mother will
be the sole judge,
and her decision will be final.
All right, we'll start with, um,
the youngest, Miss
Kathleen Anderson.
I think I should go
to the football game
because I'm the youngest.
And the youngest
is usually spoiled.
And I'm not spoiled.
But I will be if I
don't get to go.
Mommy, do I get to go?
Uh-uh. Don't try to
influence the judge.
I don't know, dear. But if you
don't, we'll have fun right here.
All right, Bud. You're next.
I think I should get to
go to the football game,
because someday I
intend to play football,
and if I don't get to see a big
game, how am I gonna learn?
That's a pretty
logical reason, I think.
Uh-uh. Don't try to
influence the judge.
Betty?
I think I should go to
the game because...
I adore football.
I adore the wholesome
sportsmanship of the game.
And I adore the handsome,
distinguished man
who will act as my
escort... My father.
Hmm. That's pretty
good, Margaret.
She used 26 words!
Well, cut out "handsome"!
Don't you dare. Cut
out the word "and".
Mother, do I get to go?
Well, I'll make my decision as
soon as I can get some attention.
Sorry, judge.
Children... and their father,
I hereby decide
in favor of... Betty.
Oh, Father!
Oh, Mother.
Oh, goobers.
Now, now. Let's not be bitter.
Now, the real
reason I chose Betty
is that she's been such a
help to me this last week.
She's cleaned out the
closets, done the mending,
polished the silver...
Oh, thank you, Mother!
Oh, is this
excruciatingly wonderful!
Gee whiz. She gets
to go to everything.
Gee whiz. I don't
get to go anywhere.
Gee whiz. Yes, you do.
Besides, you can
listen to it on the radio.
Radio? Can't get any hot dogs.
Sorry, old man. I'm leaving
the office in 10 minutes.
I'm taking my daughter
to the big game.
Not a chance. Business
can wait until Monday.
Uh-uh. I wouldn't miss this
game for anything in the world.
No, I'll talk to you on
Monday. Yeah. Good-bye.
♪♪
Jim, am I glad I found you in.
Bob Harris! I didn't know
you were back in town.
Just got in this morning
for the big game.
Are you going, too?
Great! Yeah, great.
Before I left, I gave my
fool girl specific instructions
to get me two tickets.
She forgot. How do you like it?
Two long weeks
with nothing to do,
and she forgot.
Gee, Bob. That's too bad.
Too bad? Why, it's criminal!
I've turned this
town upside down!
I can't get one ticket!
Do you know what that means?
I'm going to miss the game
for the first time in 17 years.
Well, Bob, I wish I
could help you, but...
That's why I'm here, Jim.
You've never missed
a game, either.
You know what it means.
There must be somebody you know
who has an extra ticket.
Oh, I wish I'd known
about this yesterday, Bob.
I had an extra ticket, but
I promised to take Betty.
Betty? Does she have to go?
What does football
mean to Betty?
Now, wait a
minute... She's young.
There'll be other
football games for her.
As for me, why, who knows?
I might go... like
that. Tomorrow.
Well, look, Bob. This is a
big thing for my daughter.
It isn't just the game. It's me.
The thrill of me escorting her.
I've never known
you to be a fool, Jim.
Huh? You're a pretty
good businessman.
I don't speculate
in football tickets.
How about endowment policies?
Twenty-thousand dollar
endowment policies.
What about it?
You've been trying
to sell me a policy
for a long time now.
I kept putting it off.
Well, I... I might be
interested in buying one. Now.
The endowment policy,
of course, would...
Would be only a start.
It could mean group insurance
for my entire plant.
We could talk it
over... between halves?
Meet me at the west
entrance of the stadium
at 1:15.
Betty?
I'm all ready, Father!
Mother! We're going!
Have a good time!
Here we go! No, Betty. Wait.
What is it, Father?
Well, I, uh, wanna
talk to you for a minute.
Is anything wrong?
Well, no. No. There's
nothing wrong.
I... I was just doing a little
thinking this morning, and,
well, after all, you
are a young girl,
and you'd much rather
be with young people, and,
well, I'm old enough
to be your father, and...
Father?
I've hurt you, haven't I?
Huh?
Well, I must have hurt you at
some time or another, and...
I wouldn't hurt you for
anybody or anything.
Oh. Well, look, Betty.
Bob Harris came in
my office this morn...
You're the best father anybody
ever had. Thank you, Betty. But...
I'd rather go to the game with you
than anybody else in the whole world.
You would? Oh, yes, Father.
Uh, sit down, Princess.
I... I wanna talk
to you for a minute.
Um...
Honey, you... you know
that I love you, don't you?
Well, of course.
And I, uh...
I've always tried to
please you, haven't I?
Oh, you're cute.
Betty, you're a
big girl now, and
one of these days in
the not-too-distant future,
you'll be married and
have a family of your own...
Oh, Father. Are we gonna
have another talk on biology?
Betty,
you know that I'm in
the insurance business.
You know that there
isn't anything in the world
I wouldn't do for my family.
I don't have to tell you how
competitive my business is...
Excuse me, Father.
What time is it?
A little after 12:30. Now...
Don't you think we
should get going?
Betty...
Betty, I'm going to the
game with Bob Harris.
But... But you and Mother
said... I know, honey.
But this is a
matter of business.
I have to take Bob Harris.
But you said I
could go with you!
I was counting on it!
Honey, you're just
making it more difficult. Jim!
Father doesn't want
to take me to the game!
That's not true at all, Betty!
I promised to take Bob Harris.
I have a chance to sell
him an endowment policy.
You know those things
don't grow on trees!
He doesn't want to
take me to the game!
I give up. Now, Jim,
you realize, of course,
that you can't do this to Betty.
Well, nobody thinks
about me around here.
You must never break a
promise to a child, Daddy.
You, too, Kathy?
I saw the same
situation in a movie, Dad.
Yeah? How'd it turn out?
They shot the guy
for being a welcher.
Too bad we don't have any
loose revolvers around the house.
I can see the whole family
taking potshots at me.
I have a water pistol, Daddy.
Thank you, Annie Oakley.
Dear, you made a promise.
You've got to keep it. I also
made a promise to Bob Harris.
Well, then, you've got
to keep that one, too.
Oh, Margaret, stop
talking in circles.
I only have two tickets,
so how can Bob Harris go
and Betty go if...
Oh. You mean... That's
exactly what I mean.
Then I can't go? Well, you can
listen to it on the radio
with Bud and Kathy.
The radio. You can't
get any hot dogs.
How can I sell
Bob Harris a policy?
You'll find a way, dear.
Now, where were you
supposed to meet Mr. Harris?
The west gate at 1:15.
Betty, you don't mind going
with Mr. Harris, do you?
Oh, no, Mother! Of course not!
He's so distinguished-looking!
Frivolous Sal.
Jim, give Betty the tickets.
Margaret, you need a new dress.
You said so last
week. I'll buy it for you.
And... And I'll get a
new dress for Betty, too.
What about me? And
a new dress for Kathy.
What do I get? And
a new dress for Bud!
What? I-I mean a pair of slacks.
And I'll get you those new slipcovers
you've wanted for so long. Remember?
Jim, where are the tickets?
On the 50-yard line.
I mean, uh,
upstairs in the
pocket of my blue shirt.
Oh, Father. Not
the... the blue shirt?
Yes, the tickets are in the
pocket of the shirt that's hanging...
What's the matter? Oh, Jim!
I sent that shirt
to the laundry!
Nope. Didn't come in yet.
But he picked up the
bundle three hours ago!
He's a new man. Don't
know the route good.
Why do you put on a
new man at a time like this?
Because the
regular driver took off
to go to the football game.
What time is it?
12:45.
No, it isn't. It's 12:50.
So why did you ask me?
I'm nervous!
What time is it now?
Your time or my
time? Never mind.
Oh, Bob Harris will
never forgive me.
The game's probably
started by now.
Car 27's unloaded.
This is Mr. Anderson.
He wants to look at his laundry.
Right! Come on!
Which one is mine?
Start looking.
Your name's on it.
Well, aren't you gonna help me?
Sure.
Of all the stupid,
idiotic, asinine...
Who? Oh, not you.
Think there'd be some kind
of alphabetical order to this.
Oh, here it is.
Such carelessness to
leave a bag open this way.
Oh. I thought the
shirt was gone.
They're gone!
Somebody took them!
Took what? The tickets!
I had two tickets in
the pocket of this shirt!
The laundry bag was open!
Well, don't look at me.
I'm not accusing anyone.
I don't need your
football tickets.
How did you know they
were football tickets?
'Cause the opera
season ain't open,
the baseball
season's too far off,
and today happens to
be the day of the big game.
Now, do you wanna
make something out of it?
No. No.
Well, maybe we can do business.
I got a couple of duckets I
don't think I'm gonna use.
Oh, you don't.
Give 'em to you for a price.
You will. Good seats.
On the 50-yard line.
The 50-yard line.
Twenty bucks.
$20? Apiece?
No, for the pa...
Hey, what do you
think I am, a crook?
Okay.
You're a good guy
to do business with.
Yeah. Hey!
Help me put the bags back.
I'm in a hurry.
So am I. I didn't eat yet.
Just pile 'em in the corner.
$20! The unmitigated
nerve of the guy!
Is that you, dear?
Yes, it's me. Where's Betty?
The silliest thing
just happened.
A few minutes ago... Well, Jim!
Margaret, as long as you live,
you're never to give
another piece of laundry
to that gang of crooks!
Oh, what happened?
They sold me back my own
tickets. That's what they did.
Oh, but, dear, that's
impossible. Oh, it is, is it?
What does this look like?
The driver sold them
back to me for $20!
Then you... you lost your
temper and got into a fight.
No. I got hit in the
eye with a laundry bag.
Margaret, I want you
to write them a letter...
Now, Jim, you're just
working yourself up for nothing.
It isn't for nothing.
It's for a principle.
Men have died for a principle.
Well, you better start dying.
We found the
tickets on the dresser.
Oh, you did. I suppose
you're gonna take the word of...
On the dresser? Betty
found it on the dresser.
Right where you left them!
And she's on the way
to the game right now.
I left them on the dresser?
And you'd better
apologize to that driver
for even thinking that
he took your tickets.
Oh, I will. I will.
I'll tell him how sorry I am
I got my eye in the
way of his laundry bag.
Jim, I've never seen
you with a shiner.
You look so rugged.
Thank you, dear. I'll
wear one more often.
Probably get there by
the end of the first quarter.
See you later.
Now, wait a minute.
You bought two tickets.
What are you gonna
do with the extra one?
Hold everything! Don't
anybody make a move!
What about that extra
ticket, Dad? Can...
Wow. What a beautiful mouse.
All right. I don't expect
any sympathy from my son.
What about that
extra ticket, Daddy?
What are you doing over there?
I fell asleep. But
I woke up in time
to hear about the laundry bags.
Kathy, you should
never eavesdrop.
I know it. But it was fun.
Now do we have another
contest to see who goes?
Oh, no. We're not gonna
go through that again.
This time, you have to
make your own decision.
Which one will it be?
Hurry up! We're missing
some touchdowns!
Take Kathy. Good.
Come on, Kathy.
No. Take Bud. All
right. Let's go, Bud.
Kathy should go.
She's the youngest.
No, Bud should go
because he's a boy.
Keep out of this, squirt.
I know you wanna go.
I do not! You do, too!
I do not! You do... Time!
Do you mind if I go?
I know a way we could
all go. This year or next?
She's just a crazy,
mixed-up kid.
Bill Lawrence has a student
ticket, and he can't go.
That's right! I was just talking
to Mrs. Lawrence on the phone,
and Bill is sick in bed.
Well, what are we
waiting for? Let's go!
What a break! Sweet and tender.
You can always depend on me.
Bud, ride Kathy over to
the stadium on your bicycle.
I'll drive over to the Lawrence's
and pick up the ticket.
Margaret, will you call Bill
and tell him I'm dropping by?
Don't you think it'd be better
if Bud picked up the ticket?
Oh, no. I'm in charge
of this operation.
Okay. All right.
I suppose Father knows best.
Who is it?
Hi, Bill. It's me, Jim Anderson.
Oh, hi, Mr. Anderson.
Come on in.
I thought maybe it
was my kid sister.
She's been making
my life miserable.
Ah, I can't get this
darn radio working.
Uh, how do you feel? Horrible.
Well, that flu really
gets you down.
Are you kidding?
Ugh. Aren't you a little
old for the measles?
You're never too
old for anything.
My buddy has the colic.
Yeah, I-I guess you're right.
Did Mrs. Anderson call
you about that ticket?
Oh. Oh, yeah.
It's in my blue suit.
In the closet. All right.
He breaks to his left half,
flips the ball to right and...
Are you sure it's
in the blue suit?
Uh, try the brown one.
The 20, 25, the 30,
the 35, the 40, the 45,
the 50, the 45, the
40, the 35, Go! Go! Go!
The 20 the 15!
But there's a
handkerchief on the play.
Wasn't in the brown suit.
Try the gray suit.
When I went to college, all I had
was a sweater and a pair of knickers.
The ball is handed to
the tailback, Guginugilof.
Guginugilof moves toward
the middle of the line,
hands off to the
quarterback, Fopsinocherist.
He laterals to fullback,
Smith. He's in the clear!
The 15! The 20! The 25!
The 30! The 35! Go! Go! Go!
Keep going! That's it!
He's going all the way!
What a play! What a play!
- He's over for a touchdown!
- Listen to that crowd!
Wait. There's a
handkerchief on the play.
It isn't in the gray suit.
Try the red suit.
You've got a red suit?
I'm a freshman.
They make me wear it.
On Christmas.
Every Monday.
I'll try the red suit.
There goes the gun
that ends the first quarter.
Go! Go! Go!
The end of the first quarter.
The red suit has no pockets.
Oh, that's right. I forgot.
How can anybody forget
a red suit without pockets?
It's not easy. Bill, think.
What did you do
with that ticket?
I can't understand it.
I know I put the ticket
in one of my suits.
Bill, you can't do this to me.
I've never missed
one of these games.
It's my school!
And more than that, I have a very
important appointment between halves.
Think! Think!
Did you ever see
such a stupid radio?
Bill! Huh?
The ticket. Oh.
Uh... Wait a minute.
Yes, Bill? Oh, Mother,
do you know what I did
with my football ticket?
You left it in your blue shirt.
Everybody leaves football
tickets in blue shirts.
Do you have it, Mother?
No. I sent it to the laundry.
Oh, no.
But I gave the
ticket to the doctor.
Oh, no!
Thank you, Mother. Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Don't forget your medicine.
I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Anderson.
But you stick around.
I'll have the radio
fixed in no time.
Thanks, Bill.
I, uh, have several
radios at home.
Yes, Mother?
If Mr. Anderson wants
to go to the game,
Tom Heckendorn isn't
using his student ticket.
Gee, I forgot about him.
Ed Heckendorn's son. He
lives just down the block.
Thanks, Bill, for
all your trouble.
Thanks, Mrs. Lawrence!
I'll stop by there!
So long, Bill. Oh, Mr. Anderson?
Yes, Mrs. Lawrence?
Don't get too close
to Tom Heckendorn.
He's got the mumps.
♪♪ Well, here you are, Bud!
Thanks. My, aren't they good!
Would you care for
another one, Kathy?
No, thank you. I
already had two.
When does the second half start?
In about five minutes.
Boy, what a game!
Are you enjoying it, Kathy?
Oh, yes. I could
see it over again.
Mr. Harris, I'm beginning
to worry about Father.
Oh, there's nothing
to worry about.
I'm just sorry he
missed the first half.
He was so anxious
to see the game.
Mr. Harris? Yes, Kathy?
What's an endowment policy?
Oh, well,
it's nothing to interest
a little girl on a...
A beautiful day like this.
Especially at a football game.
Gosh, you don't suppose anything's
happened to Father, do you?
Why, of course not. He's
probably in the locker room
talking to the coach.
Frenchy! I thought I told you
I wanted it loud and clear!
What's the matter?
Can't you yell?
I distinctly said,
"Rah, rah, rah."
Yeah, it was a great game.
I think.
I was sitting in the
cheering section.
Am I stiff.
Well, thanks for calling.
I'll see you Monday.
Yeah. Good-bye.
Hello, Kitten!
Come to feed the invalid, huh?
Yeah. Do you have the measles?
No. Of course not.
The mumps?
No. I had all those
things when I was a kid.
Then what do you have now?
Nothing. I gave
one little sneeze,
and your mother
insisted I go to bed.
Sounds awful familiar.
Ah, that looks good.
Well, Kathy, did you
have fun at the game?
Yes. And I enjoyed Mr. Harris.
I made him tell me all
about endowment policies.
Mr. Harris? Oh, Kathy. Why
did you have to bother him?
If you wanted to know about
endowments, why didn't you ask me?
I know more about
them than he does.
So do I.
So I sold him a policy.
He said he'd give you
a check on Monday.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
with Elinor Donahue, Billy
Gray and Lauren Chapin...
Mother and junior members
of the Anderson household.
As you well know,
the most important
football game of the year
takes place tomorrow afternoon.
This year, your mother
has declined to go.
Therefore, I am in a position
to invite one of
you to be my guest
and companion at
tomorrow's game.
Oh, how completely divine!
What a bomb!
Kathy, aren't you excited?
Sure! What time do we go?
You may not be
the lucky one, Kathy.
What are we going
to do? Draw straws?
Oh, how perfectly infantile.
Now, now, now. We're going
to have a legitimate contest.
I want each one
of you to tell me,
in 25 words or less,
why you should be the
one to go to the game.
Your mother will
be the sole judge,
and her decision will be final.
All right, we'll start with, um,
the youngest, Miss
Kathleen Anderson.
I think I should go
to the football game
because I'm the youngest.
And the youngest
is usually spoiled.
And I'm not spoiled.
But I will be if I
don't get to go.
Mommy, do I get to go?
Uh-uh. Don't try to
influence the judge.
I don't know, dear. But if you
don't, we'll have fun right here.
All right, Bud. You're next.
I think I should get to
go to the football game,
because someday I
intend to play football,
and if I don't get to see a big
game, how am I gonna learn?
That's a pretty
logical reason, I think.
Uh-uh. Don't try to
influence the judge.
Betty?
I think I should go to
the game because...
I adore football.
I adore the wholesome
sportsmanship of the game.
And I adore the handsome,
distinguished man
who will act as my
escort... My father.
Hmm. That's pretty
good, Margaret.
She used 26 words!
Well, cut out "handsome"!
Don't you dare. Cut
out the word "and".
Mother, do I get to go?
Well, I'll make my decision as
soon as I can get some attention.
Sorry, judge.
Children... and their father,
I hereby decide
in favor of... Betty.
Oh, Father!
Oh, Mother.
Oh, goobers.
Now, now. Let's not be bitter.
Now, the real
reason I chose Betty
is that she's been such a
help to me this last week.
She's cleaned out the
closets, done the mending,
polished the silver...
Oh, thank you, Mother!
Oh, is this
excruciatingly wonderful!
Gee whiz. She gets
to go to everything.
Gee whiz. I don't
get to go anywhere.
Gee whiz. Yes, you do.
Besides, you can
listen to it on the radio.
Radio? Can't get any hot dogs.
Sorry, old man. I'm leaving
the office in 10 minutes.
I'm taking my daughter
to the big game.
Not a chance. Business
can wait until Monday.
Uh-uh. I wouldn't miss this
game for anything in the world.
No, I'll talk to you on
Monday. Yeah. Good-bye.
♪♪
Jim, am I glad I found you in.
Bob Harris! I didn't know
you were back in town.
Just got in this morning
for the big game.
Are you going, too?
Great! Yeah, great.
Before I left, I gave my
fool girl specific instructions
to get me two tickets.
She forgot. How do you like it?
Two long weeks
with nothing to do,
and she forgot.
Gee, Bob. That's too bad.
Too bad? Why, it's criminal!
I've turned this
town upside down!
I can't get one ticket!
Do you know what that means?
I'm going to miss the game
for the first time in 17 years.
Well, Bob, I wish I
could help you, but...
That's why I'm here, Jim.
You've never missed
a game, either.
You know what it means.
There must be somebody you know
who has an extra ticket.
Oh, I wish I'd known
about this yesterday, Bob.
I had an extra ticket, but
I promised to take Betty.
Betty? Does she have to go?
What does football
mean to Betty?
Now, wait a
minute... She's young.
There'll be other
football games for her.
As for me, why, who knows?
I might go... like
that. Tomorrow.
Well, look, Bob. This is a
big thing for my daughter.
It isn't just the game. It's me.
The thrill of me escorting her.
I've never known
you to be a fool, Jim.
Huh? You're a pretty
good businessman.
I don't speculate
in football tickets.
How about endowment policies?
Twenty-thousand dollar
endowment policies.
What about it?
You've been trying
to sell me a policy
for a long time now.
I kept putting it off.
Well, I... I might be
interested in buying one. Now.
The endowment policy,
of course, would...
Would be only a start.
It could mean group insurance
for my entire plant.
We could talk it
over... between halves?
Meet me at the west
entrance of the stadium
at 1:15.
Betty?
I'm all ready, Father!
Mother! We're going!
Have a good time!
Here we go! No, Betty. Wait.
What is it, Father?
Well, I, uh, wanna
talk to you for a minute.
Is anything wrong?
Well, no. No. There's
nothing wrong.
I... I was just doing a little
thinking this morning, and,
well, after all, you
are a young girl,
and you'd much rather
be with young people, and,
well, I'm old enough
to be your father, and...
Father?
I've hurt you, haven't I?
Huh?
Well, I must have hurt you at
some time or another, and...
I wouldn't hurt you for
anybody or anything.
Oh. Well, look, Betty.
Bob Harris came in
my office this morn...
You're the best father anybody
ever had. Thank you, Betty. But...
I'd rather go to the game with you
than anybody else in the whole world.
You would? Oh, yes, Father.
Uh, sit down, Princess.
I... I wanna talk
to you for a minute.
Um...
Honey, you... you know
that I love you, don't you?
Well, of course.
And I, uh...
I've always tried to
please you, haven't I?
Oh, you're cute.
Betty, you're a
big girl now, and
one of these days in
the not-too-distant future,
you'll be married and
have a family of your own...
Oh, Father. Are we gonna
have another talk on biology?
Betty,
you know that I'm in
the insurance business.
You know that there
isn't anything in the world
I wouldn't do for my family.
I don't have to tell you how
competitive my business is...
Excuse me, Father.
What time is it?
A little after 12:30. Now...
Don't you think we
should get going?
Betty...
Betty, I'm going to the
game with Bob Harris.
But... But you and Mother
said... I know, honey.
But this is a
matter of business.
I have to take Bob Harris.
But you said I
could go with you!
I was counting on it!
Honey, you're just
making it more difficult. Jim!
Father doesn't want
to take me to the game!
That's not true at all, Betty!
I promised to take Bob Harris.
I have a chance to sell
him an endowment policy.
You know those things
don't grow on trees!
He doesn't want to
take me to the game!
I give up. Now, Jim,
you realize, of course,
that you can't do this to Betty.
Well, nobody thinks
about me around here.
You must never break a
promise to a child, Daddy.
You, too, Kathy?
I saw the same
situation in a movie, Dad.
Yeah? How'd it turn out?
They shot the guy
for being a welcher.
Too bad we don't have any
loose revolvers around the house.
I can see the whole family
taking potshots at me.
I have a water pistol, Daddy.
Thank you, Annie Oakley.
Dear, you made a promise.
You've got to keep it. I also
made a promise to Bob Harris.
Well, then, you've got
to keep that one, too.
Oh, Margaret, stop
talking in circles.
I only have two tickets,
so how can Bob Harris go
and Betty go if...
Oh. You mean... That's
exactly what I mean.
Then I can't go? Well, you can
listen to it on the radio
with Bud and Kathy.
The radio. You can't
get any hot dogs.
How can I sell
Bob Harris a policy?
You'll find a way, dear.
Now, where were you
supposed to meet Mr. Harris?
The west gate at 1:15.
Betty, you don't mind going
with Mr. Harris, do you?
Oh, no, Mother! Of course not!
He's so distinguished-looking!
Frivolous Sal.
Jim, give Betty the tickets.
Margaret, you need a new dress.
You said so last
week. I'll buy it for you.
And... And I'll get a
new dress for Betty, too.
What about me? And
a new dress for Kathy.
What do I get? And
a new dress for Bud!
What? I-I mean a pair of slacks.
And I'll get you those new slipcovers
you've wanted for so long. Remember?
Jim, where are the tickets?
On the 50-yard line.
I mean, uh,
upstairs in the
pocket of my blue shirt.
Oh, Father. Not
the... the blue shirt?
Yes, the tickets are in the
pocket of the shirt that's hanging...
What's the matter? Oh, Jim!
I sent that shirt
to the laundry!
Nope. Didn't come in yet.
But he picked up the
bundle three hours ago!
He's a new man. Don't
know the route good.
Why do you put on a
new man at a time like this?
Because the
regular driver took off
to go to the football game.
What time is it?
12:45.
No, it isn't. It's 12:50.
So why did you ask me?
I'm nervous!
What time is it now?
Your time or my
time? Never mind.
Oh, Bob Harris will
never forgive me.
The game's probably
started by now.
Car 27's unloaded.
This is Mr. Anderson.
He wants to look at his laundry.
Right! Come on!
Which one is mine?
Start looking.
Your name's on it.
Well, aren't you gonna help me?
Sure.
Of all the stupid,
idiotic, asinine...
Who? Oh, not you.
Think there'd be some kind
of alphabetical order to this.
Oh, here it is.
Such carelessness to
leave a bag open this way.
Oh. I thought the
shirt was gone.
They're gone!
Somebody took them!
Took what? The tickets!
I had two tickets in
the pocket of this shirt!
The laundry bag was open!
Well, don't look at me.
I'm not accusing anyone.
I don't need your
football tickets.
How did you know they
were football tickets?
'Cause the opera
season ain't open,
the baseball
season's too far off,
and today happens to
be the day of the big game.
Now, do you wanna
make something out of it?
No. No.
Well, maybe we can do business.
I got a couple of duckets I
don't think I'm gonna use.
Oh, you don't.
Give 'em to you for a price.
You will. Good seats.
On the 50-yard line.
The 50-yard line.
Twenty bucks.
$20? Apiece?
No, for the pa...
Hey, what do you
think I am, a crook?
Okay.
You're a good guy
to do business with.
Yeah. Hey!
Help me put the bags back.
I'm in a hurry.
So am I. I didn't eat yet.
Just pile 'em in the corner.
$20! The unmitigated
nerve of the guy!
Is that you, dear?
Yes, it's me. Where's Betty?
The silliest thing
just happened.
A few minutes ago... Well, Jim!
Margaret, as long as you live,
you're never to give
another piece of laundry
to that gang of crooks!
Oh, what happened?
They sold me back my own
tickets. That's what they did.
Oh, but, dear, that's
impossible. Oh, it is, is it?
What does this look like?
The driver sold them
back to me for $20!
Then you... you lost your
temper and got into a fight.
No. I got hit in the
eye with a laundry bag.
Margaret, I want you
to write them a letter...
Now, Jim, you're just
working yourself up for nothing.
It isn't for nothing.
It's for a principle.
Men have died for a principle.
Well, you better start dying.
We found the
tickets on the dresser.
Oh, you did. I suppose
you're gonna take the word of...
On the dresser? Betty
found it on the dresser.
Right where you left them!
And she's on the way
to the game right now.
I left them on the dresser?
And you'd better
apologize to that driver
for even thinking that
he took your tickets.
Oh, I will. I will.
I'll tell him how sorry I am
I got my eye in the
way of his laundry bag.
Jim, I've never seen
you with a shiner.
You look so rugged.
Thank you, dear. I'll
wear one more often.
Probably get there by
the end of the first quarter.
See you later.
Now, wait a minute.
You bought two tickets.
What are you gonna
do with the extra one?
Hold everything! Don't
anybody make a move!
What about that extra
ticket, Dad? Can...
Wow. What a beautiful mouse.
All right. I don't expect
any sympathy from my son.
What about that
extra ticket, Daddy?
What are you doing over there?
I fell asleep. But
I woke up in time
to hear about the laundry bags.
Kathy, you should
never eavesdrop.
I know it. But it was fun.
Now do we have another
contest to see who goes?
Oh, no. We're not gonna
go through that again.
This time, you have to
make your own decision.
Which one will it be?
Hurry up! We're missing
some touchdowns!
Take Kathy. Good.
Come on, Kathy.
No. Take Bud. All
right. Let's go, Bud.
Kathy should go.
She's the youngest.
No, Bud should go
because he's a boy.
Keep out of this, squirt.
I know you wanna go.
I do not! You do, too!
I do not! You do... Time!
Do you mind if I go?
I know a way we could
all go. This year or next?
She's just a crazy,
mixed-up kid.
Bill Lawrence has a student
ticket, and he can't go.
That's right! I was just talking
to Mrs. Lawrence on the phone,
and Bill is sick in bed.
Well, what are we
waiting for? Let's go!
What a break! Sweet and tender.
You can always depend on me.
Bud, ride Kathy over to
the stadium on your bicycle.
I'll drive over to the Lawrence's
and pick up the ticket.
Margaret, will you call Bill
and tell him I'm dropping by?
Don't you think it'd be better
if Bud picked up the ticket?
Oh, no. I'm in charge
of this operation.
Okay. All right.
I suppose Father knows best.
Who is it?
Hi, Bill. It's me, Jim Anderson.
Oh, hi, Mr. Anderson.
Come on in.
I thought maybe it
was my kid sister.
She's been making
my life miserable.
Ah, I can't get this
darn radio working.
Uh, how do you feel? Horrible.
Well, that flu really
gets you down.
Are you kidding?
Ugh. Aren't you a little
old for the measles?
You're never too
old for anything.
My buddy has the colic.
Yeah, I-I guess you're right.
Did Mrs. Anderson call
you about that ticket?
Oh. Oh, yeah.
It's in my blue suit.
In the closet. All right.
He breaks to his left half,
flips the ball to right and...
Are you sure it's
in the blue suit?
Uh, try the brown one.
The 20, 25, the 30,
the 35, the 40, the 45,
the 50, the 45, the
40, the 35, Go! Go! Go!
The 20 the 15!
But there's a
handkerchief on the play.
Wasn't in the brown suit.
Try the gray suit.
When I went to college, all I had
was a sweater and a pair of knickers.
The ball is handed to
the tailback, Guginugilof.
Guginugilof moves toward
the middle of the line,
hands off to the
quarterback, Fopsinocherist.
He laterals to fullback,
Smith. He's in the clear!
The 15! The 20! The 25!
The 30! The 35! Go! Go! Go!
Keep going! That's it!
He's going all the way!
What a play! What a play!
- He's over for a touchdown!
- Listen to that crowd!
Wait. There's a
handkerchief on the play.
It isn't in the gray suit.
Try the red suit.
You've got a red suit?
I'm a freshman.
They make me wear it.
On Christmas.
Every Monday.
I'll try the red suit.
There goes the gun
that ends the first quarter.
Go! Go! Go!
The end of the first quarter.
The red suit has no pockets.
Oh, that's right. I forgot.
How can anybody forget
a red suit without pockets?
It's not easy. Bill, think.
What did you do
with that ticket?
I can't understand it.
I know I put the ticket
in one of my suits.
Bill, you can't do this to me.
I've never missed
one of these games.
It's my school!
And more than that, I have a very
important appointment between halves.
Think! Think!
Did you ever see
such a stupid radio?
Bill! Huh?
The ticket. Oh.
Uh... Wait a minute.
Yes, Bill? Oh, Mother,
do you know what I did
with my football ticket?
You left it in your blue shirt.
Everybody leaves football
tickets in blue shirts.
Do you have it, Mother?
No. I sent it to the laundry.
Oh, no.
But I gave the
ticket to the doctor.
Oh, no!
Thank you, Mother. Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Don't forget your medicine.
I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Anderson.
But you stick around.
I'll have the radio
fixed in no time.
Thanks, Bill.
I, uh, have several
radios at home.
Yes, Mother?
If Mr. Anderson wants
to go to the game,
Tom Heckendorn isn't
using his student ticket.
Gee, I forgot about him.
Ed Heckendorn's son. He
lives just down the block.
Thanks, Bill, for
all your trouble.
Thanks, Mrs. Lawrence!
I'll stop by there!
So long, Bill. Oh, Mr. Anderson?
Yes, Mrs. Lawrence?
Don't get too close
to Tom Heckendorn.
He's got the mumps.
♪♪ Well, here you are, Bud!
Thanks. My, aren't they good!
Would you care for
another one, Kathy?
No, thank you. I
already had two.
When does the second half start?
In about five minutes.
Boy, what a game!
Are you enjoying it, Kathy?
Oh, yes. I could
see it over again.
Mr. Harris, I'm beginning
to worry about Father.
Oh, there's nothing
to worry about.
I'm just sorry he
missed the first half.
He was so anxious
to see the game.
Mr. Harris? Yes, Kathy?
What's an endowment policy?
Oh, well,
it's nothing to interest
a little girl on a...
A beautiful day like this.
Especially at a football game.
Gosh, you don't suppose anything's
happened to Father, do you?
Why, of course not. He's
probably in the locker room
talking to the coach.
Frenchy! I thought I told you
I wanted it loud and clear!
What's the matter?
Can't you yell?
I distinctly said,
"Rah, rah, rah."
Yeah, it was a great game.
I think.
I was sitting in the
cheering section.
Am I stiff.
Well, thanks for calling.
I'll see you Monday.
Yeah. Good-bye.
Hello, Kitten!
Come to feed the invalid, huh?
Yeah. Do you have the measles?
No. Of course not.
The mumps?
No. I had all those
things when I was a kid.
Then what do you have now?
Nothing. I gave
one little sneeze,
and your mother
insisted I go to bed.
Sounds awful familiar.
Ah, that looks good.
Well, Kathy, did you
have fun at the game?
Yes. And I enjoyed Mr. Harris.
I made him tell me all
about endowment policies.
Mr. Harris? Oh, Kathy. Why
did you have to bother him?
If you wanted to know about
endowments, why didn't you ask me?
I know more about
them than he does.
So do I.
So I sold him a policy.
He said he'd give you
a check on Monday.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA