Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 1, Episode 20 - The Mink Coat - full transcript

Robert Young...

and Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue,

Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin...

Hurry up, shrimp! Dad said
to get down here right away!

Children of my heart and home.

Mrs. Anderson: wife, helpmate,

sweetheart, mother.

We are gathered together

for an open discussion
on the subject

"How to Go Broke By the Simple
Method of Spending Money."



These... vulgarly
known as bills,

I find are coming in
much faster than this stuff.

The time has come for
us to tighten our belts.

Ben Franklin says
"Beware of little expenses."

A small leak can
sink a great ship.

Frankly, my loves,

we're going to have to
cut down on our expenses.

Now... does anyone
have any suggestions?

Would anyone like to
add anything to that?

Okay, Dad. I'll go to work.

Bud, I didn't mean that.

I'll get a job at
Snow's Drug Store,

two afternoons a week.

And if that isn't
enough, I'll work nights.



I can, uh, get that night
watchman job at the bakery.

Bud, I don't want to violate

any child-labor laws.

All I want to do is cut
down on our spending.

Now we go over
these bills, one by one...

I'll get it! Wait! Wait!

You don't all have to go.

By the way, that phone
is one place to cut down.

That thing is
going all day long.

Hundreds of needless calls.

And then you kids hang on
much longer than necessary.

I can never get the phone.

It's for you, Daddy.

All right. Uh, here.

You better go over these.

Uh, get a few ideas.

Well, here's a good
place to start cutting.

The Boulevard Men's Shop.

Oh, hello, Maury.

Do I want a what?

Why do you laugh, Jim?

Do you remember when you
were down here the other day,

going over my insurance?

You said you hoped someday,

you could buy your
wife a mink coat.

Maury, that was
just wishful thinking.

You couldn't possibly
have hit me at a worse time.

I couldn't afford
the label for one!

Oh, you can afford
this, Jim. Really.

It's a beautiful coat.

A couple of the
furs are damaged.

No one could tell but an expert.

But I can't sell it as new.

You've done me
a lot of favors, Jim.

Now let me do you one.

I'll let you have the coat
for exactly what it cost me.

$1,000.

Maury, that's fantastic!

I appreciate your
doing this for me,

but I... I couldn't
handle it right now.

Now, now, now. Don't
you worry about that.

You handle it any way you like.

I just want to see Mrs.
Anderson in this coat.

No, Maury! No, no, no!

Oh, no, Jim! No, no, no!

But, honey! It was
just one of those things

we couldn't pass
up. Be a fool to!

Well, it's just
beautiful! But...

Well, can we afford it?

Well, how can we lose?
It's worth twice as much

as we're going to pay
for it. Oh, I know. But...

Well, after yesterday's
lecture on economy and all...

Yeah. What about that, Dad?

Well, it's, uh...
Hard to explain.

Here you wanted me to
work my head to the bone,

all night long in a bakery?

Bud, I never asked
you to do that.

I wouldn't let you!

Look! Don't quibble.

We got a mink
coat in the family.

That's the important thing.

Oh, Mother. Can I
wear it sometime?

How much did that thing cost?

$2,500!

Twenty-five hu... For
that fur mackinaw?

Well, wait! It didn't cost
me even half that much.

And I'm just making
payments on it.

But if anybody asks us,

Maury wants us
to tell 'em $2,500...

Oh, brother.

And they wanted
me to work nights.

Bud, I never asked you to...

Oh, well.

Oh, Mother. May I try it on now?

Oh, not just yet.

Let me make sure
this isn't a dream!

I just can't believe

this is old bargain-basement me

wrapped up in
this beautiful, sinful,

luscious thing!

I'm just sorry that
it's not something

we can all share.

Well, you can share it with me

any time you want to!

Don't worry. We're sharing it.

Just seeing you this
happy is all we need.

And having a wife who's the envy

of every woman in town
is nothing to be sneezed at!

Come on! Come on
and see it, Mrs. Davis!

Oh... Ohhh!

What do you think, Myrtle?

Oh, it's... Ooo!

Oh, you're so right, Mrs. Davis!

Oh, honey! It's so
wonderfully vulgar!

Oh, I'd give my eye-teeth
to have a coat like that.

Well, how did you
trick him into it?

What have you got on him?

All I've got on him
is an eternal crush,

for being so sweet
and wonderful.

Dad. Isn't this

an awful lot of
fuss over nothing?

Now just between
you and me, son, yes.

Yes, it is.

But as you grow
older, you'll discover

that these things are
very important to women.

And because they
are important to them,

they become important to us.

Because we love them.

I still don't get it.

That's because
you're so juvenile.

You're looking very
charming this evening,

Mrs. Von Rockerbilt.

Well, thank you, kind sir.

Mother? Are you ready, Mother?

Why? Are we late?

No. I just want to
see how you look.

I've already stamped
the okay on her.

Oh... Oh, it's so beautiful.

Hurry up and get tired of it

so I can wear it sometimes.

Get tired of it?
Are you kidding?

Oh, I bet Mrs. Phillips' eyes

will leap right out of her head

when she sees you in this.

Yes. I've been
thinking about that.

You know, I almost wish

it was someone else
we were going with.

Why?

Oh, I don't know.

She can't afford
anything like this.

And I'm afraid
she'll think I'm...

Just trying to show off.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

As a matter of fact,
I feel the same way

about Mrs. Little. Now, Mother.

You're not going to get
much good out of the coat

just wearing it
around strangers.

Does sound sort
of silly, doesn't it?

Yet... I don't know.

Well, no, Kitten.
I can't very well

bring you home one tonight.

I'm sure we won't
be going anywhere

where there are any live frogs.

At least I hope not.

Oh, heck.

Got his house all
built and everything.

See these holes? Mm-hmm.

These are for him
to breathe through.

Well, that's fine.

How does he know he's
supposed to breathe through 'em?

Well, those frogs
are pretty smart.

I remember a frog
named Harold, who...

Ah, here comes
the fairy queen now!

Clad in her regal, royal...

Well... where is it?

Well, I... I decided
to wear this instead.

Well... don't you like it?

Oh, yes, it's wonderful, but...

Well, I don't know. I...

She's afraid they'll
think she's showing off.

Well, naturally
she'll be showing off!

That's sort of the
whole idea, isn't it?

Dear, I... I just
wouldn't feel right.

Oh, nonsense. This
is a free country.

You can wear anything you want.

A silk hat. A
checkered sweatshirt.

Well, I-I'd feel just
about as conspicuous.

Honey. Go put the coat on.

They'll be here any minute.

Go on, Mother.

Well...

I tried to talk her
out of this silly idea.

Well, what is it she
doesn't like about the coat?

It's not that she
doesn't like it. It...

I thought this would
make her happier

than anything else in the world.

It does, Father. But she...

What's everybody
looking so glum for?

You wouldn't understand.

Why's everybody say
I wouldn't understand?

Well, if the truth be know, son,

I don't think I do, either.

I'm ready.

Okay.

I don't get it.

Neither do I.

Parents get to be more
of a problem every year.

Oh, man! This feels good.

Concerts are fine, but
somehow they wear me out.

I will say one thing, though.

Whatever his name
is is some fiddler.

Violinist, dear.

Oh. Excuse me.

I meant to say that violinist

can certainly play the fiddle.

Good night, dear.

Good night, honey.

Are you still worrying
about what people

were thinking about you tonight?

No!

Good night.

Good night.

Yes, you are. Now cut it out.

No one said one thing
that would indicate

any of the things you
were worried about.

Now did they?

No.

All right, then.

But I knew what
they were thinking.

How could you know
what they were thinking?

Well, it's just one of
those things women know.

Well, maybe you didn't
notice Grace and Helen,

standing in the lobby
in the intermission,

and whispering like mad?

Ah, you're just building
this up in your mind,

and you know it.

Now let's just not
think about it any more.

All right.

You're right, dear.

Good night.

Good night, dear.

In fact, they were saying
what a model husband I was

to buy you that coat.

Sure! But they were just
needling their husbands.

By the end of the
evening, I'm sure

that Bill and George
both hated you.

Funny, I didn't notice that.

I guess I had the naive idea

that you go to a concert
to listen to the music.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry I'm
being so silly about this.

I don't mean to be.

I really love the coat.

And I love you very much.

All right, then. Let's
stop worrying about it.

Let's forget what
Grace and Ellen think,

and Bill and George,
and get some sleep.

I'm sure by morning, you'll find

all your worries are groundless.

Just be happy that
you have a nice coat,

and a husband who loves you.

Okay?

Okay.

Good night, dear.
Good night, honey.

Yes? Who?

Oh, Mrs. Wynn-Sheraton!

Oh, I'm feeling fine, thank you.

Oh, yes. Yes, it
was a lovely concert.

Wh... well, I'd
love to, very much!

Um, but I may have
another engagement.

Love to what? Yes.

Uh... may I call you back?

Oh, well thank you very
much, Mrs. Sheraton.

Good-bye.

Well, you've certainly arrived.

The call from Mrs.
Wynn-Sheraton.

I wonder what
brought all this on.

Today, this call. And last
night, she nodded to me.

She's never done
anything like that before.

You never wore a
mink coat before.

That thing made a
bigger impression

than I thought it would!

She probably
thinks it's paid for.

What'd she want?

Well, she wanted me
to come to luncheon.

Well, fine! Well,
Jim, I can't go.

Why not? You'll enjoy it.

They have a beautiful place.

Swimming pool. Stables...

That's just it! I have
nothing to wear.

What? Oh... I have
my mink coat, but...

I have nothing
appropriate to wear with it.

What else do you
need? A mink sun suit?

Jim, this is not funny.

Well, then, why don't you go?

You have dresses to wear.

And I'm sure Mrs. Wynn-Sheraton

doesn't mind what
you wear, anyway.

That can't be the reason
she invited you, is it?

Oh, no. Of course not.

But...

Well, if you were a woman,
maybe you would understand.

Mother?

Oh, tell me about
last night, Mother.

Were you a big hit? Did
everybody rave about the coat?

Well, I... The coat
had quite an evening.

People stared at it,
whispered about it.

Mrs. Wynn-Sheraton nodded to it.

Just now, she
invited it to lunch.

I don't get it.

Oh, Jim. You haven't
had your breakfast.

I'll get something later.
I want to get to the office

early this morning, anyway.

Hmm! Well, what's
the matter with him?

Oh, I hurt his feelings.

I can't blame him
for the way he feels.

I... I acted awfully.

If I had any sense, I would
have been thrilled to death

over this luncheon invitation!

Would have leaped at the
chance to wear my coat.

Well, it's not too
late to leap a little.

Ah, what are we gonna
have for breakfast?

Maybe I should.

I think I'll go shopping today.

Good! Now what about breakfast?

I'll go and change.

Then I'll call Mrs. Sheraton.

You fix it.

Me and my big mouth.

There's a, uh, Mrs.
Leslie Morell to see you.

Morell?

I don't know a Mrs. Morell.

What does she want?

I don't know. She didn't say.

She just said it
was very important.

Okay, send her in.

How do you do, Mr. Anderson?

How do you do, Mrs. Morell?

Won't you be seated, please?

I hope I'm interrupting
something important.

Oh, no. We never do
any work around here.

Well, I'll make my little
speech, and be on my way.

And I hope you
won't run and hide,

because frankly, I
plan to leave here

with practically
all of your money.

You're familiar with the
Women's Aid League.

Well, this is our
annual drive for funds.

Well, Mrs. Morell, I, uh...

Several of our
prominent businessmen

have been especially
generous this year.

I have one check
here for $5,000!

Now, of course, we
don't expect everyone

to contribute quite that much.

As a matter of fact, I
couldn't get my husband

to cough up more than $500.

Well, Mrs. Morell, I contribute

quite heavily to the
community chest.

Well, you see, we don't
ask the chest for funds

because we have such a
different scope of activities.

For example, we're hopeful
of promoting an auditorium,

which will bring
opera and concerts

and that sort of
thing to Springfield.

But we have an auditorium.

The school auditorium?

Oh, it's so old-fashioned.

By the way, that was
a nice little concert

last night, wasn't it?

Oh, you, uh... you saw us there?

Yes. Your wife...
She has such a flair

for wearing just
the right thing.

You know, I think
concerts like that

exert a great deal of influence

in the life of our community.

I'm, uh, beginning
to agree with you.

Yes, well. Now if
you'll fill out this card,

and give me your
autograph on a check,

I won't bother you any more.

Well... okay.

It doesn't need to be much.

$500 or $600 will
get rid of me very fast.

Well, this is going to be
one of your slower exits.

No, sir. He's not home
from the office yet.

My mother's not
here, either, so...

Oh, wait. Here he is.

It's for you, Dad.

Oh? Who is it?

They said it was the bank.

The bank?

Hello? Yes?

Overdrawn?

Why, that can't be!

Yes, I wrote a check this
morning for the Women's League,

but they couldn't have
put it through that fast.

Oh.

Well, look. It's
just an oversight.

I'll be down in the
morning to take care of it.

Yes.

How do you like that?

That's the first time that's
ever happened to me.

Always has to be
a first time, I guess.

Hey, did you know that one time,

Claude Messner's cousin got
sent up for writing hot checks?

Bud, I'm not writing hot checks.

This is... I know. I
know. I know that, Dad.

This just reminded me of it.

It's the kid to collect
from the paper.

Okay.

Oh. Hello, there. Hello.

You're not the boy we
used to have, are you?

No, sir. I'm new.

It's $3.25. Yes, I know.

You caught me at a
rather bad time. Um...

Could you come back next week?

Oh, I'll be happy
to take a check, sir.

Check? Yes, sir.

If I get all my collections
in this week, I get a bonus.

So a check's okay, sir.

Well, I, um...

To tell you the truth, son,
I'm overdrawn at the bank.

Just an oversight,
you understand, but...

Oh, wait. Here comes my wife.

She probably has some change.

Hello, dear!

Margaret, do you have $3.00?

Heavens, no! I've been
spending money like mad today!

Oh, and wait till you see
your wife in her new dresses.

You won't dare let
her out of your sight!

Look, son. Uh...
Come back tomorrow.

I want you to get that bonus.

Oh, sure. Sure.

Big deal.

Try them on, so Jim can see you.

Oh, no. I'd better
get dinner started.

Oh, honey. I just love this.

I wish I had
something like it to wear

to the club dance,
Saturday night.

Oh, look, Jim. Isn't
this scandalous?

Oh, dear. What's the matter?

I don't know. I
think I'm beginning

to see this thing
the way you do.

I'm starting to hate that
coat as much as you do.

Hate it? But I don't hate it.

I love it. I'm
enjoying it. Really.

Oh, I'm gonna wear
it a thousand places.

See? This is what
I'm going to wear

to Mrs. Wynn-Sheraton's
luncheon.

Isn't it super-elegant?

And it's marked way
down. Almost 10 percent off.

And we have 90
days to pay for it.

90 days... Margaret,
what's come over us?

We used to buy only
things we could afford!

But, darling! Oh, honey,
don't misunderstand me.

I want you to have
things you want.

But that's not the point.

The point is that thing's
doing strange things to us.

It's running our lives.

Do you know what the
newsboy thinks of us?

Oh. What do you
care what he thinks?

I care a lot. He's someone
we do business with.

And he thinks I'm a phony.

A guy who puts on a big front,

and then can't even
pay for his newspaper.

And you know what
else happened today?

I made a big donation
I couldn't afford.

To an outfit I don't
particularly believe in.

Just because I didn't
have the courage

to say to Mrs. Leslie Morell,

"You've got the wrong
man. I'm not in your league."

I think I'd better go.

No, you stay. And
what's it doing to you?

First... Let me tell it.

It's got me decking myself out

in dresses I don't really want,

to go to places I don't
really want to go to.

I'd rather be with my friends.

Jim, let's take the coat back.

Honey, you're out of your mind.

Wait. We don't have
to take the coat back.

There's nothing
wrong with a mink coat.

If you can afford it.

But only if you keep it
in its right perspective.

A thing is only good if it...

Can be used to produce
happiness. Usefulness.

Can it do that?

It could on me.

That's it. That's a start.

Myrtle, you're going to
wear it Saturday night.

Oh, no. I couldn't possibly...

What am I saying? I accept!

Oh! Can I take it
home and practice?

Yes, yes, yes. Take it.

Oh, Myrtle Davis,
you're going to be

absolutely ravishing tonight.

Oh, thank you, honey!

Ooh!

Jim, I feel better already.

I'm not afraid of it anymore.

Oh, it's a good warm coat.

It ought to be pretty
nice, in cold weather.

Ought to be.

Dear, there's just
one more thing.

May I take the dresses back?

You have my permission.

In fact, you have to.

We have to square
ourselves with the newsboy,

in more ways than one.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA