Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 1, Episode 10 - Typical Father - full transcript
Jim is obsessed with the idea that his 17-year old daughter might elope, since he has read about two such happenings in the paper. Betty has become entranced by her co-star in the school play, Armand, and Jim insists on Betty inviting him to the house for an evening. Betty agrees and although Margaret is impressed with Armand, Jim is still skeptical. Margaret forces Jim, Bud and Kathy to spend the evening in the kitchen, painting, but all of them contrive to spy on Betty and Armand, who are rehearsing the play, which has an elopement as part of the plot. When Betty gets a road map and a suitcase for props for the play, Jim jumps to the wrong conclusion and follows Armand's jalopy when he leaves to the Justice of the Peace, where he and Margaret find Armand acting as a witness as his father officiates at a wedding. Embarrassed, Jim and Margaret return home to be confronted by Betty, and as they try to hide the purpose of their outing, Betty tells them Armand has called to say Jim left his paint brush behind in his rush to leave.
Robert Young...
and Jane Wyatt.
With Elinor Donahue,
Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin...
Margaret, do you
know it's after 8:30?
Is it? Why isn't Betty home?
Oh, she's probably
rehearsing late at school.
It's your turn, dear.
Well, she ought to be home.
When I was her age... Yes, Jim?
Well, that's
different. She's a girl.
I'm, uh, 50 points ahead of you.
I'm always getting
stuck with a Z.
Who's bringing her home?
One of the girls, I suppose.
Suppose it's one of the boys.
Well, suppose it is.
She's been out with boys before.
Yes, but she's
never been 17 before.
What's being 17
got to do with it?
Everything. It's a
dangerous age, Margaret.
Whenever I read anything
in the papers lately,
it seems to concern
someone who's 17.
Jim, for a man who always brags
that he's not a
typical father, you...
Now, Margaret, that's one thing
you can't accuse me of.
I think I've always maintained
an open attitude
toward the children.
I've never tried to influence
or shape their lives in any way.
I was merely...
Betty, is that you?
I'm Bud. Remember me?
Oh. Hello, son.
Hi, Mom.
Getting beat at
Scrabble again, Dad?
I'm just not
concentrating, that's all.
Hungry?
No. But I think I
ought to eat anyway.
Maybe I ought to drive over
to the school and pick up Betty.
Darling, what is the
matter with you tonight?
Nothing's the matter with me.
I just asked a simple question:
Why isn't my daughter home?
I'm home, Daddy.
Well, at least one
of my daughters is.
Ready for bed, Kathy? Uh-huh.
Well, I'll go up and
turn down your bed.
Hmm, stuck with the Z again.
Yeah, looks like it.
You could use it.
Z-A-I-N.
That's a word?
Patty Davis' father said so.
Are you sure?
A dark-colored horse with spots.
Well, thanks.
That's okay.
Here. Huh?
Oh, uh...
Good night, honey.
Good night, Daddy.
Don't forget to
say your prayers.
I'll say them twice. I
forgot them last night.
Oh, Bud, uh, you haven't
seen Betty, have you?
Betty who?
Your sister.
Oh, I saw her. She's
outside on the porch.
What's she doing outside?
Saying good night to Armand.
Armand? Who's Armand?
The guy she's
saying good night to.
I'm able to figure that
out for myself, Bud.
Thank you very much.
Armand's our leading
man in the school play.
Oh. I wish he'd
lead her in here.
Oh, Jim, quit fussing.
"Zain"?
What kind of word is that?
Oh, uh...
Dark-colored horse with spots.
Is it?
How long does it take
them to say good night?
As I remembered,
it used to take
you quite a while.
That's just what's worrying me.
Jim, why are you so
concerned about Betty?
Margaret, evidently you
don't read the newspapers.
Look.
"17-year-old Girl Elopes
With Fellow Student."
They turn up in
Altoona, Pennsylvania.
Isn't that terrible?
What's wrong with Altoona?
Oh, nothing's
wrong with Altoona.
But there's something very wrong
with youngsters running
away to get married.
I know a kid.
His name's Claude Messner.
He's from Altoona.
Do you know the
porch light's off?
I've been asking you for a month
to put in a new bulb.
I'll certainly fix
that tomorrow.
Was this kid that eloped any
relation to Claude Messner?
Mm, no. His name
was, uh... Guzman.
And her name was...
What difference does it
make what her name is?
The point is, she's
17 and she's eloping!
Jim, I'm reasonably certain
that Betty's not planning
on eloping tonight,
or any other night.
We have a very sensible
and dependable daughter,
and you know it.
You're right, Margaret.
I'm a little upset.
Betty's far too intelligent
to fall in love with
some slick-haired
lounge lizard.
She's too level-headed. She's...
Good night, Father.
Good night, Mother.
Good night, brother.
Altoona. That's the place
they make locomotives.
What would you have said
if my father had
done this to you?
Your father had the biggest
and brightest porch light
in town, and you know it.
He could have used it
for an airport beacon.
I can't recall one
airplane landing there.
I'll never understand why.
Breakfast is ready. I'll
be in in a minute, honey.
Uh-uh-uh!
Drink your orange
juice first, Kathy.
Aw... Morning, Kitten!
Morning, Daddy! Hi, Bud.
Hi, Dad.
Oh. Where's Camille?
Isn't she up yet?
The beauty parlor,
having her hair fixed.
Before breakfast?
You should see
her before breakfast!
Since when has Betty
been going to beauty parlors?
She has a very
special date tonight.
With Armand!
Again, tonight?
Dad, did you fix
the porch light?
Yes, I fixed it.
Wait till we get the
light bill next month.
Wait till you wake
up some morning
and find your
daughter has eloped.
Jim, you've magnified the
situation out of all proportion.
I know. It always happens
to somebody else's daughter.
Never your own.
Well, you read one little
article about a young couple
eloping, and you think
everybody's eloping.
Margaret, there's
a regular epidemic.
Here's another example.
Here.
"17-Year-Old Babysitter
Elopes With Total Stranger."
They took her family car
and drove across the state line.
Not only that, they took $200
her grandmother
had been saving up
for a television set!
What size screen?
I don't know what size screen.
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning, Princess.
Here's your change, Mother.
Thanks, dear. You
have some breakfast?
I'm not hungry.
Not hungry?
Oh, besides, I haven't time.
I have a play
rehearsal this morning.
Uh... Betty.
Would you like to have
me drive you over to school?
No, thank you, Father.
Armand's picking me
up in a few minutes.
I'm going upstairs and
put on my new sweater.
The yellow one!
Armand's simply
mad about yellow.
Loss of appetite.
Inability to concentrate.
A distinct look of abstraction.
They're all recognizable
symptoms, Margaret.
She getting another cold?
No. Unfortunately,
it isn't a cold.
Betty? Oh! You're just in time.
Please help me
button this, will you?
Sure, Princess.
Betty... Does this really
look all right on me?
I'm just mad about yellow.
Sometimes I think it
makes me look too young.
But you are young, dear.
That's what I want
to... But I'm 17!
I'm practically ancient!
I, uh... want to know more
about this boy, Armand.
Oh, he's simply
wonderful, Father.
And so sophisticated!
Simply utterly!
Besides being simply
utterly, who is he?
Oh. Well, his name
is Armand Bradley.
Weight, 165 pounds.
Eyes, dark, dreamy brown.
Shoulders, broad.
Clothes? Tweeds, mostly.
And he has a small scar,
just under the left temple.
Sounds like something right off
the bulletin board
in the post office.
Oh, Father. He should
be here any minute.
So if you look out the window,
you can see him when he drives up.
Betty!
Oh, Betty! Yes, Father?
Oh... I, uh...
I wasn't finished
talking with you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Father.
Uh, what else do you
know about this Armand,
except that he has dark,
dreamy eyes, wears tweeds,
and is simply utterly?
Father! I can't ask him
to fill out a questionnaire!
Betty, I know you
think I'm being nosy,
and asking a lot
of silly questions.
But I'm your father.
I'm interested in anyone
you're interested in.
I know. I understand.
Oh, I won't have a chance to
find out very much at rehearsal.
But tonight when we're together,
I'll ask him anything
you want to know.
I appreciate that.
We're going to a
dance at Lakeside.
Lakeside? That's
30 miles from here!
That will give us
more time to talk.
Oh, is there a chaperone
going with you?
A chaperone? Oh, really!
We're not living in the
Dark Ages, you know.
You'd have
thought so last night!
Mother, Father's
being impossible!
I'm being impossible
because I ask a few simple,
routine questions
about this... Armand.
Betty, why don't you ask
Armand over for the evening?
That way we can
all get acquainted.
And have everybody
sitting around, staring at him?
No one will stare at you, dear.
I'll make sure of that.
What's there to do here?
Well, uh, we could...
Pop corn, for one thing!
Pop corn?
Play records? Play records?
Or we could get up a
rousing game of Hearts.
Hearts? Oh, how
cornball can you be?
I could look back on
many happy evenings
spent like that.
Can't you, Margaret?
Uh... yes.
But this is the 20th century!
Betty, your father
has every right
to ask you to bring
Armand over the evening.
It's not an
unreasonable request.
Maybe if you do that, next
time, you can go out with him.
Pop corn. Hearts. Play records.
There'll never be a next time!
That's what we want
to find out about him.
Oh, Betty. You always brought
your boyfriends over to meet us!
Why are you so reluctant
to have us meet Armand?
Because it isn't good
strategy to ask him
to meet my parents so soon.
May I ask why?
He might think I'm
trying to trap him!
Well... aren't you?
Janie Little invited
Bradford Johnson
to her home for dinner
on their second date,
and she hasn't seen him since.
Did they poison him?
He was not poisoned.
He was frightened!
What in heaven's name is that?
That is Armand!
You and Armand had
better plan on spending
the evening here, Betty.
All right.
I'll ask him.
But if the same
thing happens to me
that happened to Janie Little,
I shall hold you all
personally responsible.
Good-bye.
I spend 17 patient,
conscientious years,
raising, educating, and
training my daughter
so some slick-haired,
dreamy-eyed Romeo
can run off with her
in a cut-down jalopy
of questionable descent.
I think he's got a
hole in his muffler.
I'll bet that playboy
isn't too happy
about spending an
evening at home.
Quite the contrary.
Betty said he seemed very eager
when she asked him.
Well, sure. Why not?
He probably figures on
moving in with us. Oh, Jim.
Betty has three dates with a boy
and you have her married to him.
How many dates do you
think the babysitter had
with a stranger,
before they eloped?
One. That's all. Just one.
How would you
like to listen to that
every day for the
rest of your life?
Better than that
exaggerated wolf whistle
you had in your Model T
Ford. That was different.
At least that had class.
Oh, hello, Armand.
Oh, there you are.
This porch light is so bright,
it sort of blinded me.
That's terrible.
I can't imagine what
Father was thinking of.
Gee, you look
nice tonight, Betty.
Thank you, Armand.
That's an awfully pretty dress.
I'm glad you like it.
It's my favorite!
Got an awfully nice home, Betty.
Must be awfully
nice, living here.
It is! Most of the time.
Uh... well, Betty!
You have company?
Yes, Father.
This is Armand Bradley.
My mother and father.
How do you do, Armand?
How do you do, Mrs. Anderson?
Mr. Anderson. Nice
to know you, Armand.
Nice to know you, sir!
Betty's told me a
great deal about you.
She has? Yes, sir!
Betty told me you liked flowers,
so I brought these for you.
Oh! How thoughtful
of you, Armand.
Thank you very much.
Uh, well. Won't you come in?
A man doesn't have
a chance around here.
I better start hunting
for the corn popper.
Well, uh... shall
we all sit down?
I'm sure you and
Armand won't mind
if we leave you alone. Margaret!
Not at all. Good night, Father!
Do you have to leave?
Oh, we're not leaving.
We'll be in the kitchen,
painting. Painting?
Bud's already started!
Margaret, I...
I'd be glad to
help, Mr. Anderson.
Oh, no, Armand!
Father loves to paint.
Just make yourselves at home.
What a sneaky way to
get the kitchen painted.
You sure do have
a nice family, Betty.
Thank you.
They're even nicer when
you get used to them.
Would you like to sit down?
Sure.
Would you like to
play some records?
Maybe later. Right
now, I'm a little worried
about that scene we
rehearsed this afternoon.
Don't you like the
character you're playing?
Well, I don't like
these old men parts.
Miss Humphrey says we have to
believe we are the characters we portray.
Well, how can I believe
I'm 40 when I'm not even 20?
Wasn't it sweet of Armand
to bring me the flowers?
Just like a woman.
A bouquet of flowers,
and she thinks he's Sir Galahad.
You just made up your
mind not to like him, that's all.
You better lock up the silver.
You know, I should be
studying my homework.
Furthermore, I don't
like the way I was pushed
out of my own living room!
You can start over there.
Felt like I was being
brushed under the rug.
You know, if I flunk, it'll be
a reflection on my parents.
How old is this boy,
anyway? Where does he live?
You should have asked
him for his driver's license.
It's not too late. I'll
ask him now! Jim!
You know that scene where
I'm supposed to elope with you?
Well, don't you think an old
man's gonna look pretty silly,
climbing down a ladder
in the middle of the night?
I, uh...
I thought maybe you
might like some, uh...
lemonade, or something.
Would you, Armand?
No, thank you.
Eh... grape juice?
No, Father.
Popcorn! No, Father!
Jim!
Oh. Excuse me.
Mother? Does paint have
lead in it? Certainly, it does.
Then I better stop. I think
I'm getting lead poisoning.
Margaret, the boy worries me.
He looks like a criminal.
Oh, I think he's
very nice-looking.
His ears are pointed, and
his eyes are too close together.
Oh, Jim. They are not.
Want me to go and check?
You stay right where you are.
Oh, Mommy, I just remembered.
I left my copy book
in the living room.
I'll get it for you, Kathy!
Jim, you stay out of there.
Well, how do you expect
Kathy to do her homework?
I'll get it for you, Kitten!
And another thing. I don't think
the kind of girl you're
supposed to be in the play
would just run away like that.
You're quiet. Shy.
You'd probably
be afraid to elope
just on a romantic impulse.
You're the type who's tied
to your mother's apron strings.
What is it, Father?
Uh... you, uh, all right, Betty?
Of course.
You looking for something?
Uh, Kathy's copy book.
It's in the kitchen.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm close
by, you know, Betty.
In case you need
me for anything.
Thank you.
Mother, I think
I'll allergic to paint!
Now what? Look! I'm
breaking out all over!
That's paint.
Margaret.
You should hear what
they're talking about.
Oh, Jim. Eavesdropping
at your age.
You should be ashamed.
What are they talking about?
About romantic impulses,
and something about Betty
being tied to your apron strings.
Oh, is that all? Well,
isn't that enough?
Mommy! I just remembered.
I forgot to put my bike away!
All right. But hurry.
Now. You start painting.
Mother? I don't feel too well.
It says here on the can
not to breathe the fumes.
You can always stop breathing.
Well, it can be fatal,
and I've been breathing
them for more than an hour.
The fumes are not fatal,
and we are going
to paint the kitchen.
You mean we gotta
stay here all evening?
Yes.
I'm a prisoner of love.
Oh, by the way, Betty,
I'm supposed to
pick up some props
for the dress
rehearsal tomorrow.
Let... uh...
Yeah, we need a suitcase
and a roadmap. Oh, I
can get both of those.
Wait a minute.
Oh! Excuse me, Father.
Just looking for a road map.
Oh...
I've got it!
A road map?
Dad, you nearly
knocked over the paint!
What do they want
with a road map?
Jim! When are you
going to stop acting
like a comic-strip father?
I may be a comic-strip father,
but at least I'm aware of
my duties toward my family,
and those two bear watching.
Mother, you promised to
keep Kathy in the kitchen!
She's outside with
her fiendish little face
looking through
the window! She is?
Oh, she probably just
walked past the window.
Walked past? She's practically
crawling through the screen!
I, uh, better go and get Kathy.
Move over, Kathy. Don't push.
Well, I never realized
that painting could
be such a project.
Mother? Could I get
a breath of fresh air?
All right,
and bring your
father back with you.
I think my lungs have collapsed.
Dad, I thought you came
out here to get Kathy.
I did.
Kathy, come into the house.
I can't see. Oh, don't crowd.
Well, move over, Kathy.
Everybody's pushing me!
Gee, Betty! I almost forgot!
I promised my Dad I'd be
a witness for him tonight!
Witness for what?
Oh. He's a justice of the peace.
I help him out sometimes.
Oh.
I'll go get the
suitcase for you.
Jim Anderson. Bud, Kathy,
for the last time,
go into the house.
You should all be
ashamed of yourselves.
That's what I keep telling them.
They're eloping! I knew it!
Oh, they are not
eloping. They aren't?
Then what are they doing
with a suitcase and a road map?
Well, there's a very easy
way to find out. Ask them.
That's just what
I'm going to do.
Oh, boy! Get the shotgun, Daddy!
It's locked! It
probably locked itself.
We've got to stop them!
Well, go around by
the front door, then!
That's right.
We'll cut them off.
They're making a getaway!
Margaret, I'll get the car.
I'll go try and catch them.
I am not going to
try and stop them.
All right, but if you find yourself
cooking for an extra mouth
around here, don't
say I didn't warn you!
I'll tell you one thing, it's
never dull around here.
♪♪
What did I tell you?
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
Well, son, I guess we have
another couple to marry tonight.
I'm pretty sure they're
already married.
They're Betty's parents.
Excuse me, Dad.
Hello.
Where's Betty?
She's home, I guess.
Well, what are you doing here?
I live here.
What are you doing here?
Oh, we just happened
to be out for a drive
and... and... And
thought we'd stop in
and say hello.
But we can't stay.
You feel all right,
Mr. Anderson?
He's just suffering
from a case of
jumping conclusions.
And you and Betty weren't
running away to get married?
Married? At my age?
Well, what about the
suitcase and the road map?
Well, those are props
we're using for the
play we're rehearsing.
Oh, I see.
You don't have to
worry, Mr. Anderson.
I'd never elope
with your daughter.
You wouldn't?
No, sir.
Not without asking you first.
Where in the world
have you been?
For a ride. For a walk.
Which is it?
For a ride. For a walk.
You're acting very strange.
Everybody is.
Where's Bud?
Oh, he said something
about being asphyxiated.
Where's Kathy?
Oh, she went upstairs to bed.
She said she was planning
on asking for an
increase in her allowance.
Oh, and by the way,
Armand just called.
He said to tell you
that you left your paintbrush.
Oh.
What were you
doing at the Bradleys'?
Well, uh, Betty,
you see, your
father, being a father,
feels a great
responsibility for you.
You understand,
don't you, Betty?
He wants to protect you.
I'm very fond of you, dear.
Jim! The porch light!
Just answer one question.
What were you
doing at the Bradleys'?
You know the answer,
don't you, dear?
I know.
Let's face it, Betty.
You have a typical father.
You know,
I wouldn't want
it any other way.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
and Jane Wyatt.
With Elinor Donahue,
Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin...
Margaret, do you
know it's after 8:30?
Is it? Why isn't Betty home?
Oh, she's probably
rehearsing late at school.
It's your turn, dear.
Well, she ought to be home.
When I was her age... Yes, Jim?
Well, that's
different. She's a girl.
I'm, uh, 50 points ahead of you.
I'm always getting
stuck with a Z.
Who's bringing her home?
One of the girls, I suppose.
Suppose it's one of the boys.
Well, suppose it is.
She's been out with boys before.
Yes, but she's
never been 17 before.
What's being 17
got to do with it?
Everything. It's a
dangerous age, Margaret.
Whenever I read anything
in the papers lately,
it seems to concern
someone who's 17.
Jim, for a man who always brags
that he's not a
typical father, you...
Now, Margaret, that's one thing
you can't accuse me of.
I think I've always maintained
an open attitude
toward the children.
I've never tried to influence
or shape their lives in any way.
I was merely...
Betty, is that you?
I'm Bud. Remember me?
Oh. Hello, son.
Hi, Mom.
Getting beat at
Scrabble again, Dad?
I'm just not
concentrating, that's all.
Hungry?
No. But I think I
ought to eat anyway.
Maybe I ought to drive over
to the school and pick up Betty.
Darling, what is the
matter with you tonight?
Nothing's the matter with me.
I just asked a simple question:
Why isn't my daughter home?
I'm home, Daddy.
Well, at least one
of my daughters is.
Ready for bed, Kathy? Uh-huh.
Well, I'll go up and
turn down your bed.
Hmm, stuck with the Z again.
Yeah, looks like it.
You could use it.
Z-A-I-N.
That's a word?
Patty Davis' father said so.
Are you sure?
A dark-colored horse with spots.
Well, thanks.
That's okay.
Here. Huh?
Oh, uh...
Good night, honey.
Good night, Daddy.
Don't forget to
say your prayers.
I'll say them twice. I
forgot them last night.
Oh, Bud, uh, you haven't
seen Betty, have you?
Betty who?
Your sister.
Oh, I saw her. She's
outside on the porch.
What's she doing outside?
Saying good night to Armand.
Armand? Who's Armand?
The guy she's
saying good night to.
I'm able to figure that
out for myself, Bud.
Thank you very much.
Armand's our leading
man in the school play.
Oh. I wish he'd
lead her in here.
Oh, Jim, quit fussing.
"Zain"?
What kind of word is that?
Oh, uh...
Dark-colored horse with spots.
Is it?
How long does it take
them to say good night?
As I remembered,
it used to take
you quite a while.
That's just what's worrying me.
Jim, why are you so
concerned about Betty?
Margaret, evidently you
don't read the newspapers.
Look.
"17-year-old Girl Elopes
With Fellow Student."
They turn up in
Altoona, Pennsylvania.
Isn't that terrible?
What's wrong with Altoona?
Oh, nothing's
wrong with Altoona.
But there's something very wrong
with youngsters running
away to get married.
I know a kid.
His name's Claude Messner.
He's from Altoona.
Do you know the
porch light's off?
I've been asking you for a month
to put in a new bulb.
I'll certainly fix
that tomorrow.
Was this kid that eloped any
relation to Claude Messner?
Mm, no. His name
was, uh... Guzman.
And her name was...
What difference does it
make what her name is?
The point is, she's
17 and she's eloping!
Jim, I'm reasonably certain
that Betty's not planning
on eloping tonight,
or any other night.
We have a very sensible
and dependable daughter,
and you know it.
You're right, Margaret.
I'm a little upset.
Betty's far too intelligent
to fall in love with
some slick-haired
lounge lizard.
She's too level-headed. She's...
Good night, Father.
Good night, Mother.
Good night, brother.
Altoona. That's the place
they make locomotives.
What would you have said
if my father had
done this to you?
Your father had the biggest
and brightest porch light
in town, and you know it.
He could have used it
for an airport beacon.
I can't recall one
airplane landing there.
I'll never understand why.
Breakfast is ready. I'll
be in in a minute, honey.
Uh-uh-uh!
Drink your orange
juice first, Kathy.
Aw... Morning, Kitten!
Morning, Daddy! Hi, Bud.
Hi, Dad.
Oh. Where's Camille?
Isn't she up yet?
The beauty parlor,
having her hair fixed.
Before breakfast?
You should see
her before breakfast!
Since when has Betty
been going to beauty parlors?
She has a very
special date tonight.
With Armand!
Again, tonight?
Dad, did you fix
the porch light?
Yes, I fixed it.
Wait till we get the
light bill next month.
Wait till you wake
up some morning
and find your
daughter has eloped.
Jim, you've magnified the
situation out of all proportion.
I know. It always happens
to somebody else's daughter.
Never your own.
Well, you read one little
article about a young couple
eloping, and you think
everybody's eloping.
Margaret, there's
a regular epidemic.
Here's another example.
Here.
"17-Year-Old Babysitter
Elopes With Total Stranger."
They took her family car
and drove across the state line.
Not only that, they took $200
her grandmother
had been saving up
for a television set!
What size screen?
I don't know what size screen.
Good morning, everybody.
Good morning, Princess.
Here's your change, Mother.
Thanks, dear. You
have some breakfast?
I'm not hungry.
Not hungry?
Oh, besides, I haven't time.
I have a play
rehearsal this morning.
Uh... Betty.
Would you like to have
me drive you over to school?
No, thank you, Father.
Armand's picking me
up in a few minutes.
I'm going upstairs and
put on my new sweater.
The yellow one!
Armand's simply
mad about yellow.
Loss of appetite.
Inability to concentrate.
A distinct look of abstraction.
They're all recognizable
symptoms, Margaret.
She getting another cold?
No. Unfortunately,
it isn't a cold.
Betty? Oh! You're just in time.
Please help me
button this, will you?
Sure, Princess.
Betty... Does this really
look all right on me?
I'm just mad about yellow.
Sometimes I think it
makes me look too young.
But you are young, dear.
That's what I want
to... But I'm 17!
I'm practically ancient!
I, uh... want to know more
about this boy, Armand.
Oh, he's simply
wonderful, Father.
And so sophisticated!
Simply utterly!
Besides being simply
utterly, who is he?
Oh. Well, his name
is Armand Bradley.
Weight, 165 pounds.
Eyes, dark, dreamy brown.
Shoulders, broad.
Clothes? Tweeds, mostly.
And he has a small scar,
just under the left temple.
Sounds like something right off
the bulletin board
in the post office.
Oh, Father. He should
be here any minute.
So if you look out the window,
you can see him when he drives up.
Betty!
Oh, Betty! Yes, Father?
Oh... I, uh...
I wasn't finished
talking with you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Father.
Uh, what else do you
know about this Armand,
except that he has dark,
dreamy eyes, wears tweeds,
and is simply utterly?
Father! I can't ask him
to fill out a questionnaire!
Betty, I know you
think I'm being nosy,
and asking a lot
of silly questions.
But I'm your father.
I'm interested in anyone
you're interested in.
I know. I understand.
Oh, I won't have a chance to
find out very much at rehearsal.
But tonight when we're together,
I'll ask him anything
you want to know.
I appreciate that.
We're going to a
dance at Lakeside.
Lakeside? That's
30 miles from here!
That will give us
more time to talk.
Oh, is there a chaperone
going with you?
A chaperone? Oh, really!
We're not living in the
Dark Ages, you know.
You'd have
thought so last night!
Mother, Father's
being impossible!
I'm being impossible
because I ask a few simple,
routine questions
about this... Armand.
Betty, why don't you ask
Armand over for the evening?
That way we can
all get acquainted.
And have everybody
sitting around, staring at him?
No one will stare at you, dear.
I'll make sure of that.
What's there to do here?
Well, uh, we could...
Pop corn, for one thing!
Pop corn?
Play records? Play records?
Or we could get up a
rousing game of Hearts.
Hearts? Oh, how
cornball can you be?
I could look back on
many happy evenings
spent like that.
Can't you, Margaret?
Uh... yes.
But this is the 20th century!
Betty, your father
has every right
to ask you to bring
Armand over the evening.
It's not an
unreasonable request.
Maybe if you do that, next
time, you can go out with him.
Pop corn. Hearts. Play records.
There'll never be a next time!
That's what we want
to find out about him.
Oh, Betty. You always brought
your boyfriends over to meet us!
Why are you so reluctant
to have us meet Armand?
Because it isn't good
strategy to ask him
to meet my parents so soon.
May I ask why?
He might think I'm
trying to trap him!
Well... aren't you?
Janie Little invited
Bradford Johnson
to her home for dinner
on their second date,
and she hasn't seen him since.
Did they poison him?
He was not poisoned.
He was frightened!
What in heaven's name is that?
That is Armand!
You and Armand had
better plan on spending
the evening here, Betty.
All right.
I'll ask him.
But if the same
thing happens to me
that happened to Janie Little,
I shall hold you all
personally responsible.
Good-bye.
I spend 17 patient,
conscientious years,
raising, educating, and
training my daughter
so some slick-haired,
dreamy-eyed Romeo
can run off with her
in a cut-down jalopy
of questionable descent.
I think he's got a
hole in his muffler.
I'll bet that playboy
isn't too happy
about spending an
evening at home.
Quite the contrary.
Betty said he seemed very eager
when she asked him.
Well, sure. Why not?
He probably figures on
moving in with us. Oh, Jim.
Betty has three dates with a boy
and you have her married to him.
How many dates do you
think the babysitter had
with a stranger,
before they eloped?
One. That's all. Just one.
How would you
like to listen to that
every day for the
rest of your life?
Better than that
exaggerated wolf whistle
you had in your Model T
Ford. That was different.
At least that had class.
Oh, hello, Armand.
Oh, there you are.
This porch light is so bright,
it sort of blinded me.
That's terrible.
I can't imagine what
Father was thinking of.
Gee, you look
nice tonight, Betty.
Thank you, Armand.
That's an awfully pretty dress.
I'm glad you like it.
It's my favorite!
Got an awfully nice home, Betty.
Must be awfully
nice, living here.
It is! Most of the time.
Uh... well, Betty!
You have company?
Yes, Father.
This is Armand Bradley.
My mother and father.
How do you do, Armand?
How do you do, Mrs. Anderson?
Mr. Anderson. Nice
to know you, Armand.
Nice to know you, sir!
Betty's told me a
great deal about you.
She has? Yes, sir!
Betty told me you liked flowers,
so I brought these for you.
Oh! How thoughtful
of you, Armand.
Thank you very much.
Uh, well. Won't you come in?
A man doesn't have
a chance around here.
I better start hunting
for the corn popper.
Well, uh... shall
we all sit down?
I'm sure you and
Armand won't mind
if we leave you alone. Margaret!
Not at all. Good night, Father!
Do you have to leave?
Oh, we're not leaving.
We'll be in the kitchen,
painting. Painting?
Bud's already started!
Margaret, I...
I'd be glad to
help, Mr. Anderson.
Oh, no, Armand!
Father loves to paint.
Just make yourselves at home.
What a sneaky way to
get the kitchen painted.
You sure do have
a nice family, Betty.
Thank you.
They're even nicer when
you get used to them.
Would you like to sit down?
Sure.
Would you like to
play some records?
Maybe later. Right
now, I'm a little worried
about that scene we
rehearsed this afternoon.
Don't you like the
character you're playing?
Well, I don't like
these old men parts.
Miss Humphrey says we have to
believe we are the characters we portray.
Well, how can I believe
I'm 40 when I'm not even 20?
Wasn't it sweet of Armand
to bring me the flowers?
Just like a woman.
A bouquet of flowers,
and she thinks he's Sir Galahad.
You just made up your
mind not to like him, that's all.
You better lock up the silver.
You know, I should be
studying my homework.
Furthermore, I don't
like the way I was pushed
out of my own living room!
You can start over there.
Felt like I was being
brushed under the rug.
You know, if I flunk, it'll be
a reflection on my parents.
How old is this boy,
anyway? Where does he live?
You should have asked
him for his driver's license.
It's not too late. I'll
ask him now! Jim!
You know that scene where
I'm supposed to elope with you?
Well, don't you think an old
man's gonna look pretty silly,
climbing down a ladder
in the middle of the night?
I, uh...
I thought maybe you
might like some, uh...
lemonade, or something.
Would you, Armand?
No, thank you.
Eh... grape juice?
No, Father.
Popcorn! No, Father!
Jim!
Oh. Excuse me.
Mother? Does paint have
lead in it? Certainly, it does.
Then I better stop. I think
I'm getting lead poisoning.
Margaret, the boy worries me.
He looks like a criminal.
Oh, I think he's
very nice-looking.
His ears are pointed, and
his eyes are too close together.
Oh, Jim. They are not.
Want me to go and check?
You stay right where you are.
Oh, Mommy, I just remembered.
I left my copy book
in the living room.
I'll get it for you, Kathy!
Jim, you stay out of there.
Well, how do you expect
Kathy to do her homework?
I'll get it for you, Kitten!
And another thing. I don't think
the kind of girl you're
supposed to be in the play
would just run away like that.
You're quiet. Shy.
You'd probably
be afraid to elope
just on a romantic impulse.
You're the type who's tied
to your mother's apron strings.
What is it, Father?
Uh... you, uh, all right, Betty?
Of course.
You looking for something?
Uh, Kathy's copy book.
It's in the kitchen.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm close
by, you know, Betty.
In case you need
me for anything.
Thank you.
Mother, I think
I'll allergic to paint!
Now what? Look! I'm
breaking out all over!
That's paint.
Margaret.
You should hear what
they're talking about.
Oh, Jim. Eavesdropping
at your age.
You should be ashamed.
What are they talking about?
About romantic impulses,
and something about Betty
being tied to your apron strings.
Oh, is that all? Well,
isn't that enough?
Mommy! I just remembered.
I forgot to put my bike away!
All right. But hurry.
Now. You start painting.
Mother? I don't feel too well.
It says here on the can
not to breathe the fumes.
You can always stop breathing.
Well, it can be fatal,
and I've been breathing
them for more than an hour.
The fumes are not fatal,
and we are going
to paint the kitchen.
You mean we gotta
stay here all evening?
Yes.
I'm a prisoner of love.
Oh, by the way, Betty,
I'm supposed to
pick up some props
for the dress
rehearsal tomorrow.
Let... uh...
Yeah, we need a suitcase
and a roadmap. Oh, I
can get both of those.
Wait a minute.
Oh! Excuse me, Father.
Just looking for a road map.
Oh...
I've got it!
A road map?
Dad, you nearly
knocked over the paint!
What do they want
with a road map?
Jim! When are you
going to stop acting
like a comic-strip father?
I may be a comic-strip father,
but at least I'm aware of
my duties toward my family,
and those two bear watching.
Mother, you promised to
keep Kathy in the kitchen!
She's outside with
her fiendish little face
looking through
the window! She is?
Oh, she probably just
walked past the window.
Walked past? She's practically
crawling through the screen!
I, uh, better go and get Kathy.
Move over, Kathy. Don't push.
Well, I never realized
that painting could
be such a project.
Mother? Could I get
a breath of fresh air?
All right,
and bring your
father back with you.
I think my lungs have collapsed.
Dad, I thought you came
out here to get Kathy.
I did.
Kathy, come into the house.
I can't see. Oh, don't crowd.
Well, move over, Kathy.
Everybody's pushing me!
Gee, Betty! I almost forgot!
I promised my Dad I'd be
a witness for him tonight!
Witness for what?
Oh. He's a justice of the peace.
I help him out sometimes.
Oh.
I'll go get the
suitcase for you.
Jim Anderson. Bud, Kathy,
for the last time,
go into the house.
You should all be
ashamed of yourselves.
That's what I keep telling them.
They're eloping! I knew it!
Oh, they are not
eloping. They aren't?
Then what are they doing
with a suitcase and a road map?
Well, there's a very easy
way to find out. Ask them.
That's just what
I'm going to do.
Oh, boy! Get the shotgun, Daddy!
It's locked! It
probably locked itself.
We've got to stop them!
Well, go around by
the front door, then!
That's right.
We'll cut them off.
They're making a getaway!
Margaret, I'll get the car.
I'll go try and catch them.
I am not going to
try and stop them.
All right, but if you find yourself
cooking for an extra mouth
around here, don't
say I didn't warn you!
I'll tell you one thing, it's
never dull around here.
♪♪
What did I tell you?
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
Well, son, I guess we have
another couple to marry tonight.
I'm pretty sure they're
already married.
They're Betty's parents.
Excuse me, Dad.
Hello.
Where's Betty?
She's home, I guess.
Well, what are you doing here?
I live here.
What are you doing here?
Oh, we just happened
to be out for a drive
and... and... And
thought we'd stop in
and say hello.
But we can't stay.
You feel all right,
Mr. Anderson?
He's just suffering
from a case of
jumping conclusions.
And you and Betty weren't
running away to get married?
Married? At my age?
Well, what about the
suitcase and the road map?
Well, those are props
we're using for the
play we're rehearsing.
Oh, I see.
You don't have to
worry, Mr. Anderson.
I'd never elope
with your daughter.
You wouldn't?
No, sir.
Not without asking you first.
Where in the world
have you been?
For a ride. For a walk.
Which is it?
For a ride. For a walk.
You're acting very strange.
Everybody is.
Where's Bud?
Oh, he said something
about being asphyxiated.
Where's Kathy?
Oh, she went upstairs to bed.
She said she was planning
on asking for an
increase in her allowance.
Oh, and by the way,
Armand just called.
He said to tell you
that you left your paintbrush.
Oh.
What were you
doing at the Bradleys'?
Well, uh, Betty,
you see, your
father, being a father,
feels a great
responsibility for you.
You understand,
don't you, Betty?
He wants to protect you.
I'm very fond of you, dear.
Jim! The porch light!
Just answer one question.
What were you
doing at the Bradleys'?
You know the answer,
don't you, dear?
I know.
Let's face it, Betty.
You have a typical father.
You know,
I wouldn't want
it any other way.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA