Father Dowling Mysteries (1989–1991): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Man Who Came to Dinner Mystery - full transcript

(theme music playing)

♪♪

MAN: Hey!

Get out!

I'm calling security right now.

Get out!

Look, no, look.

I have it.

I know what you want.

I'll pay you, I'll pay you.

No, please.



Please.

No, buddy. L-Let's
talk about this.

(gun cocks)

Don't shoot! Please!

(silenced gunshot)

(siren wailing)

It's right there.

(gun cocks)

Hold it!

What the hell?

This isn't the man
I saw get shot.

Shot?

I saw someone get shot.

(stutters)



Just-Just a minute.

I'm Randall Shayne,
vice president

of research and development
at Microplex Limited.

W-Would someone please
tell me what's going on here?

This gentleman says
he witnessed a shooting

in this office tonight.

That's exactly right.

Really?

Perhaps another office.

No.

No! It was this
office right here.

Officer, um, I've
been here all evening,

and as you can plainly
see, I'm very much alive.

I'm not making this up.

All right, we'll go outside now.

And I'm very sorry to
have bothered you, sir.

Not at all.

(door closes)

Finish it.

You think I'm crazy, don't you?

Look, I don't know
what you think you saw,

but we're done here.

Let's go.

(tires screech)

(ignition sputters)

(ignition sputters)

♪♪

(tires screeching)

(piano playing
lively jazz music)

(shoes tapping rhythmically)

(music ends)

Yay!

That was great!

You guys are terrific!

You're gonna be
great in the carnival.

Well, take a rest.

Good to see everybody.

Great job.

Don't worry about it.

Just practice in front of the
mirror, you're gonna be fine.

Thank you, Father.

Did such a nice job.

Father Dowling.

Father.

Thank you, Father.

That was great, Steve.

She's coming, you know.

What? Who?

I told you, last year was it.

I can't take it any longer.

Oh, you mean Sister Agnes.

Can you think of anybody else
who commandeers my kitchen,

uses up every pot
and pan in the place,

makes it so that I can't
even fix a decent meal,

and makes my life a living...

- You know what.
- Mm-hmm.

Patience, Marie.

She only comes one
week out of the year.

Well, that's seven
days too long for me.

But it's for the bake sale.

You know that ever
since she retired,

Sister Agnes has no other
place to make her rum cakes.

And, you know, the only
reason she comes here

is because of her
fondness for you.

She does?

Yeah.

St. Vincent's has
been begging for her

to come and do her baking there.

She told Father Ryan
she wouldn't hear of it.

There's no way she was
gonna disappoint you.

Well, I suppose
it's only for a week.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(gasps)

Jack.

I didn't mean to
startle you. I'm sorry.

What happened to you?

I saw somebody
get killed tonight.

And now the guy that
did it is trying to kill me.

Here you go.

Great.

Meat loaf with mustard.

You remembered.

Yeah.

I remember that, too.

So, this guy smashes
into your car?

Takes out his headlight.

Starts to make another
pass, and I start running.

Somehow, I wind up here.

How'd you know
this is where I was?

Oh, I sort of kept track of you.

I didn't know.

Well, it's not as though we've
had much to say to each other.

So, h-how's the job at the
insurance company going?

Climbing the ladder.

Yeah.

Pretty exciting, huh?

How'd you know I had that job?

Somebody told me.

I forgot who.

They tell you I got married?

No.

Somebody else told me that.

We're divorced.

Six months.

Oh.

Feeling better, son?

Yes, Father.

Uh, could I see you for
just a moment, please?

Would you excuse us?

Certainly.

I just spoke to the police.

And they think Jack's
not wrapped too tight.

Well, they think his
story is incredible.

Steve, I know this
is an old friend,

but isn't all of this
a little far-fetched?

Well, isn't it?

Jack says it happened,
then it happened.

You're that sure of it?

How well do you
know this young man?

Well...

I was gonna marry him.

Thanks, Jesse.

(pop music playing)

(pop music playing loudly)

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

(whistles loudly)

Something I can
do for you, Father?

Yes, I, uh, I was wondering
who ordered this office painted.

Mr. Shayne ordered
it this morning.

Personally?

He phoned in.

Said we get double
time for Saturday, too.

Thank you.

Was this chair here
when you arrived?

As a matter of fact, yeah.

Pretty nice, huh?

Uh-huh, very nice.

What happened to the old one?

Beats me.

Thanks.

Coincidence... That
the old chair is gone?

It's not a coincidence if you
want to get rid of bloodstains.

Or a bullet hole.

Hmm.

I don't think that
thingamajig goes in that hole.

Oh, for goodness sakes,
let the boy alone, Marie.

How do you expect him to
work with you standing over him?

Well, it's hopeless.

That burner hasn't worked
since Eisenhower was president.

Hey, you actually

got that thing to work.

See, I told you he
could fix anything.

Potent.

Does it need more rum?

Not if you're driving, Sister.

Sister Agnes does this
every year for the carnival.

It's a big seller.

I bet.

Oh, listen, I'm sorry
about the clothes.

We don't get many
designer labels

in the stuff we collect for
the homeless, you know.

Hey, they're fine.

Well, I guess I better go.

Right.

It's the distributor.

Well, I'll get it to work.

I had a pretty good
teacher, remember?

Need a hand?

Sure. Hand me the
socket wrench over there.

Thanks.

How about a
consultation? I used to work

part time in a garage.

You know what
would really be great?

If you could turn
it over for me.

Sure.

(engine sputtering)

Wait a second.

Okay, try again.

(engine starting)

Victory.

Yeah, it's just a
loose distributor cap.

Some of these hoses
have seen better days,

but I think they'll hold.

Here, your nose.

Oh. Thanks.

That's okay, keep it.

Listen, you sure
you're okay with this?

Yeah, the plugs
should be adjusted

but I haven't got a
gapper on me, so...

What happened? Looks
like somebody clipped you.

It was a hit-and-run.

The car belongs to a friend.

A friend, huh?

As in, uh, boyfriend?

Friend as in old friend.

Oh.

Well, uh, in that case, there's
a place around the corner

that has the best
cherry pie in Chicago.

Thanks, but I can't. I'm a nun.

Right.

No, really.

Hey, it's okay. I've
been turned down before.

Never with such
originality, but...

I mean it, I really am a nun.

Sister Stephanie
from St. Michael's.

You're serious.

No hard feelings?

No, no, no hard feelings.

Nice to meet you, Sister.

(horn honking)

What's the matter?

Get in. He knows where you are.

Mr. Shayne? Hello?

Thank you.

(cat meows)

Hmm-hmm.

(cat meows)

There you go.

Aha.

Phone bill.

You can learn a lot about a
person from their phone bill.

Now this is interesting.

Here's the local number
that Mr. Shayne called

at least a dozen times
in the last few days.

Hmm. What do you think?

You're right.

Yes, I'm trying to
reach a Mr. Shayne.

I've got the wrong number?

Well, isn't this 555-8808?

And there's no one
there by that na...?

Hello? Hello?

(sighs)

(cat meows)

(door opening)

Now that, that isn't Mr. Shayne.

I... I-I can explain.

Looks like we've lost him.

Well, this place hasn't
changed for the better.

We had our first fight
over there, remember?

Bet you'd never
seen a 12-year-old girl

with such a great right hook.

You never hit me in high school.

Must have been true love.

Jack, I know I
owe you an apology

for the way things ended.

No you don't.

My life was kind of a mess,

and I had to make a
really huge decision

about what to do with myself.

And I wish it could
have included you.

Look, I never explained
it very well then,

and I'm not going to
do it any better now.

But it was
something I had to do.

It was the right thing for me.

And I'm so sorry.
I know I hurt you.

I thought about it a lot.

I was pretty upset
and I acted like a jerk.

But I was so in love with you.

I always thought that I was
the one that should apologize.

Or maybe we were both wrong.

So what happened
between you and your wife?

Our problem was...

It was me.

I loved her, but...

She's not you.

(tires squealing)

Run.

(pistol cocking)

(tires squealing)

(tires squealing)

It's okay, he's gone.

You got something on your face.

(chuckles)

It's all a misunderstanding.

Yeah?

Bet that's what they all say.

Father Dowling, the
man who killed Shayne

and tried to run me down...

Not again.

This time he almost got Steve.

So the young man is still alive.

Well, I'm afraid that's
not our only problem.

I got a call from someone
asking for Shayne.

And the late Mr. Shayne
was the only person

who had access to that number.

It's falling apart.

No. I just have to be Randall
Shayne for another 12 hours.

That's all the time we need.

You're sure Shayne's body
won't be found before then?

I'm sure.

Well, then we have
nothing more to worry about.

At least we won't,
as soon as you get rid

of the only person
left who can still tie us

to the real Mr. Shayne. Hmm?

It was the tension
of the moment.

A spontaneous gesture
between two old friends.

It wasn't a gesture, Frank.

It was a kiss.

And it was a lot
more than friendly.

Steve, the circumstances
were extraordinary.

I really don't think...

You don't understand.

I wanted it to happen.

And I liked it.

Sister, we're
taught that our faith

doesn't really mean very much
unless we're forced to test it.

If that was a test,
Frank, then I flunked it.

I'm scared, Frank.

I don't know what
I'm going to do.

Yes, you do.

If you need help, all you
have to do is ask for it.

God is always there for you.

That police station needed
a good scrubbing down

with disinfectant.

And the people, (whistles)...
They needed scrubbing down, too.

Please, Marie, you're
making me nervous.

You have no idea the
things that go on around here.

Father Dowling is
always in trouble, always.

We even have to have
police protection now.

Marie, I'm trying
to concentrate.

- Mm-hmm.
- (teakettle whistling)

The only problem I ever
had with Father Hunniker

was deciding... was deciding
what kind of fish to serve

on Friday night.

Yes, I know it's Saturday.

All right, thank you.

Oh, that looks
wonderful Sister Agnes.

I can't take it anymore, Father.

Oh, I know how busy
you are with the rum cakes.

And I certainly don't
expect you to be bothering

about my tea.

Never mind about the tea.

It's her I'm talking about.

Her?

Marie.

By the way, before I
forget, I wanted to thank you

for these lovely cufflinks that
you gave me for Christmas.

You thanked me when
I gave them to you.

Now you're not going to
get away from me that easily.

Oh.

That woman drives
me to distraction.

She cannot abide
one bowl out of place

or one speck of
batter on her counters.

Oh, try to understand.

See, she is so excited
about you being here

that she just gets carried away.

I bet.

Oh, really.

No, she looks forward to
you being here every year.

Why you should have heard
how she carried on about you.

Oh?

Well, I suppose
it's only for a week.

I knew you'd understand.

Hello.

How's it going, Frank?

Take a look at this.

I found it at
Shayne's apartment.

"Confirming our meeting to
close sale, Saturday 7:00."

Signed, "Toshiro
Omada, Osako Industries."

I don't get it.

I'm not so sure I do either.

But I checked out
Osako Industries.

They're a computer company.

So consider this.

Randall Shayne was
head of development

for a company that
makes microchips.

Now he was supposed to
sell something at 7:00 today

to a top computer company.

Like a microchip.

But somebody's
impersonating this Shayne guy.

Well, maybe that somebody

was going to make
the sale in his place.

Big bucks. Could be a motive.

Hmm.

Now you know that phone number
Mr. Shayne called all the time?

Well, that's still
our best clue.

But... That's a nice outfit.

I just can't get anywhere
with the phone company.

You know, I think
I'll pay them a visit.

Well, these are a little better.

Hey, they even fit.

- Almost.
- Almost.

Well, I'm going to
check out that parking tag

I saw on the windshield.

Forget it. I don't want
us both to be targets.

You gonna talk or
you gonna walk?

DOWLING: It's 555-3808.

(keyboard keys clattering)

And the billing name is?

Randall Shayne.

Hmm, isn't that interesting.

What?

It's a mobile phone.

Oh.

Well, is there a
billing address?

Of course there's
a billing address.

It's a post office box.

857, yeah, a white sedan
with a blue top. Got it.

I know that car, it's here now.

The owner lives here?

No, not really.

The guy he works for
has been staying here

for the last two
weeks. Mr. Shayne.

Penthouse G.

Silver Rolls, good tipper.

Thanks.

That's him.

That's the guy
impersonating Shayne.

Oh, uh, have everything
delivered to my suite

as soon as possible.

Um, remember the sushi
is cold and the sake is hot.

Frank said the meeting
was going down today.

And it's going to happen
here. That's great.

That's not.

MAN: All right here
we are in the final round

of the big '40s dance
contest here at the West Bull.

So keep swinging your
partners and let's party.

Come on, we're going to dance.

Steve... I don't
know how to dance.

I'll remember. Don't
worry, I will lead.

MAN: Sorry, folks,
that's all for you.

Give it a rest. Go get a drink.

Lookin' at three.

So long.

Wow, you guys look
great. You look great.

What do you think, folks?
What do you think, huh?

Catch me.

Go.

Forget about it.

You guys can't leave now.

Excuse us. We
just ran out of steps.

No, no, no, no, no. No can do.

Hey, do we got our
winners here or what, huh?

Maybe their steps
weren't the best,

but real original,
don't you think?

And how about this
killer costume, huh?

You know, we really
don't deserve this.

In fact, there's a guy out
there who's a real killer.

Why don't you come up here
and show the folks your stuff.

Come on.

MAN: Why not? Come on up.

- Come on up.
- Go.

That's great.

Hey, wait, wait,
where you going?

Wait a minute.

(gun cocking)

(horn honking)

I'll be with you in a minute.

MAN: Yeah, yeah.

Finally.

Uh, yes, we're,
uh, we're checking

on the quality of
your phone service.

You're not experiencing
any static now are you?

Yeah, I sure am.

Oh, could you tell me
where you're located exactly?

Well, this isn't as bad

as some of the stuff
that happened to us.

Remember the time I threw
your football ring in the lake

'cause I thought you were
flirting with Cindy Parnell?

Remember that
night that both of us...

What is all this
"remember when" talk?

Like you actually
still think about us.

You think I've forgotten
what we meant to each other?

What we meant was, you walked
away and never looked back.

Oh, Jack, that's not true.

You're always in my heart.

Then quit.

- What?
- Leave.

Lots of women do.

They still help people.

They still make
the world better.

Look, do you think
it was easy for me?

Do you?

Well, it wasn't.

It was the hardest,
most painful thing

that I ever had to do.

The truth is, I'm
still in love with you

and you're still
in love with me.

Jack, the truth is,
I have no choice.

(sighs)

Come here.

Steve, you're freezing.

Come here.

Okay, but I'm only staying
till they open up the door.

Wait for me.

Don't tell me.

You're looking
for Mr. Shane, too.

Boy, he sure got
religious all of a sudden.

First that nun, now you?

A young nun with a
good-looking young man.

Thank you.

Steve?

Hello.

STEPHANIE: Frank!

Oh, dear.

Hang in there!

Bad choice of words.

Oh.

(sighs)

Oh, are you all right, huh?

Frank, the meeting is here.

Here?

At 7:00.

Yeah, it's 6:30 now.

Want to call the police?

And tell them what?

Frank, we got to do something.

We're running out of time here.

(groans)

Let's make a deal.

Excuse me.

Are you here to see Mr. Shane?

Uh, yes.

There's a gentleman
waiting for you in the bar.

DOWLING: Pardon me, but, uh...

I believe you're looking for me.

Uh, won't you
have a seat, please?

Well, you are here on the
Shane matter, are you not?

Where is Mr. Shane?

Oh, he won't be here today.

I'm representing him.

It's a matter of security.

I'm sure you understand.

We are here to
close a transaction.

Well, so am I.

I think you know how
sensitive this matter is.

So what could be
more appropriate

than meeting with me?

Now, you, uh... you are
prepared to carried out your end.

(speaks Japanese)

All in yen.

Better than dollars.

Yes.

You have the microchip?

Oh. Yeah.

I'll bet you've never seen
a microchip like this before.

Oh, very clever.

May I have the other one?

- What?
- I can wear it home.

Oh. (chuckles)

After we test it
first, of course.

Uh, yeah.

Jack.

Are they in there?

Yeah. How's it going?

Well, we got to keep them there
until Frank finishes downstairs.

I'll take that.

What are you doing?

I'm going in there.

Let me have your jacket, too.

Hey, sure thing.

Thanks a lot.

Be careful.

- (knocking)
- Room service.

Come in.

Now, we know that...

that the plane
came in an hour ago.

You did send the
limo, didn't you?

Uh, just put it over
there somewhere.

The doorman says the limo
we ordered dropped them off.

Well, where the hell are they?

I... I'll go check.

All right.

You're both under arrest.

And you know what for, too.

Who is this?

I'm Sister Stephanie
from St. Michael's,

and I'm making
a citizen's arrest.

Do something.

Oh.

You again.

JACK: That's right... me again.

So why don't you just relax
until the police get here?

At any minute, right?

Any second.

Right.

Just take it easy, sonny.

JACK: Stay where you are.

I know how to use this thing.

Any fool can pull a trigger.

But not many have the nerve.

I can't tell you how many
times I've done this before.

Don't press your luck.

We're warning you.

Oh.

You have a
problem... behind you.

We're not falling for that.

Enough!

What happened, Frank?

Well, when Sergeant
Fulton arrived,

he explained to our
Japanese friends

that they could be
accomplices to a murder,

and they were very cooperative.

And if this gentleman has
that stolen microchip on him,

he's... he's in very
serious trouble.

Hmm. Thank you.

This microchip
could only have come

from the real Mr. Shane.

And Sergeant
Fulton is on his way

to Mr. Shane's
apartment right now

to unlock the basement door,

where he will undoubtedly
find Mr. Shane's body.

You see, it's the
only hiding place

that no one would look
into until after the weekend.

And if either one of these
two has a key to that apartment,

well, he'll be under
arrest for murder,

wouldn't you think?

Took the words right
out of my mouth, Frank.

Mmm.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go and retrieve
Sister Agnes's cuff links.

♪♪

You look beautiful.

Thanks.

So do you.

I don't really want
to say good-bye.

Well, you don't have to.

I'll always be here.

You know that isn't what I mean.

Yeah.

But this is where I belong.

Good-bye, Steve.

I just want you to
know something.

What?

Father Dowling conned
you into thinking I liked you.

And vice versa.

I guessed as much.

I just want you to
know something.

What?

You were a big help.

Well, I never thought
I'd live to see the day to...

to admit it, but...

to tell the truth, I
really wasn't even upset

when you made
such a mess in here.

(chuckles)

Sister?

Is she all right?

She never could
hold her rum cake.

(yawns)

What's going on in here?

It's the end of a perfect day.