Father Brown (2013–…): Season 5, Episode 1 - The Star of Jacob - full transcript
Lady Felicia is hosting John Langton, the Earl of Frome and the bishop is demanding that Father Brown organizes a service which will impress the peer. At a party for the earl an unwelcome guest is his profligate cousin Basil Urquhart and when the earl's baby son is kidnapped, Basil is a prime suspect, along with the earl's valet Parkin, who kept his marriage a secret. The child is returned unharmed but when Parkin's wife turns up Father Brown deduces that she has been the victim of a crime herself years earlier, which helps solve the mystery of the kidnapping. Come Christmas day Michael, a tramp who has been sleeping in the church, comes to the aid of the service, making it a success.
CLOCK TICKS
Oooh!
Mrs McCarthy? We won!
Cheltenham 2-1 Evesham!
Father, in here! You have a visitor.
Canon Fox from the Diocesan Office.
Ah, Father.
I trust there's nothing wrong?
Oh, if there were, you could be sure
Bishop Reynard would be here
in person.
No. Actually, it's about
your Christmas Day Mass.
The nativity procession
is the highlight of our calendar.
It also has a reputation for being
somewhat eclectic
in its interpretation of the Gospel.
Last year, for instance,
Our Lady's arrival at the stable
was on the back of a goat.
Well, we had trouble
finding a donkey.
Where the Christ Child was
worshipped by, amongst others,
five kings, two cocker spaniels
and the Lone Ranger.
Derek Miller.
He made a spirited argument
that if the sheep had shepherds,
the oxen should have cowboys.
It seemed churlish to deny him.
And then there's
your... Sunday school choir.
What they lack in voice,
they make up for in enthusiasm.
It is for the children.
Not this year!
This year, the Duke of Frome
is spending Christmas at Montague.
And, we're informed, will
be attending Christmas Mass
at St Mary's.
As he's Britain's premier
Catholic duke,
we're keen you don't let the side
down, so to speak.
To wit,
I will be attending in person.
And as the reputation of the diocese
rests on a somewhat
dubious precedent,
Bishop Reynard thought it judicious
to put down a few markers.
This year, he wants
the full biblical line-up.
He wants wholesome-looking children.
He wants ox and ass
and chorales that put
King's College, Cambridge to shame.
Damn it, he wants snow!
I'm not sure I can stretch to snow.
Then you'd better get praying.
♪♪
Thank you for coming, Father.
I could curse Monty
for not being here.
Missing the Yuletide ball!
The great and the good.
Oh, I appreciate the moral support.
I'm surprised you need it.
The duke and you are cousins.
You were practically brought up
together.
Oh, John and Diana are lovely.
Good morning, Windy.
Hello, Nanny Langton.
You did well for yourself,
for a redhead.
Diana! John! How lovely to see you!
You remember Father Brown?
Holy Mother...!
(Oh!)
He's cold as ice. Oh, goodness!
Poor soul probably froze to death.
Oh!
May his soul rest in peace.
That... was my intention,
until some infernal woman
started squawking!
(Boo!) What are you doing here?
I just wanted to see
where you're billeted.
Can't you see I've work to do?
You don't say.
More precious than baby Jesus,
this one.
Don't call him that.
Why not?
He's a miracle, by all accounts.
What are you doing here?!
One of the cases got mixed up
with the duke's. Huh!
See you around.
Trouble in trousers, that one.
And what he sees in you
is a mystery.
Congratulations on the birth
of your son and heir.
I'm grateful for your
intercessions, Father.
Prayer succeeded
when medicine failed.
Scores of doctors and treatments.
And when we'd finally given up
hope...
Talk of the devil!
John will hold him.
He cries when I do.
I'm not sure that he likes me
very much.
THEY CHUCKLE
Come here. Hello.
Such a handsome boy!
He looks just like his father.
So, Windy,
where's this husband of yours?
Windy? It's a childhood nickname.
Windermere by name,
bowels like bellows.
Monty's on tour with
Her Majesty, Nanny.
Oh! God bless her.
Did John tell you about our
diamond jubilee party at Frome?
Felicia meant the new queen, Nanny.
I know that. I don't know what
her parents were thinking of,
allowing the girl to marry a Greek!
We do possess
a plentiful supply of cutlery.
Nature's spoons.
His name is Michael Negal.
I found him in the church
half-frozen to death,
so I brought him in for a hot meal.
Not that I've received any thanks.
She woke me from a perfectly good
sleep, and her food's over-salted.
This is a harsh winter
to be sleeping rough.
You could perish.
Oh. Seeing as you ask,
maybe I could stay for a bit.
Odd jobs in return for some grub
and a floor in the church.
I'm afraid that won't be possible.
But there is a room for you here
at the presbytery.
I hope you know what you're doing.
The Bible tells us to be hospitable
to strangers
lest they be angels in disguise.
BELCH!
Well, in that case,
maybe he could take up my offer
of a hot bath
and some clean clothes.
I'm attached to my dirt.
We've been travelling companions
for a long time.
Is there an inside privy?
Upstairs on the left.
Good. Because this stew
will take some shifting.
BELCH!
MICHAEL BREAKS WIND
Time to go to sleep now, David.
Yes, it is.
Night-night. Night-night.
BABY GURGLES
Old bag's nightcap. They're run
off their feet in the kitchen.
Since when were you so considerate?
Since they bunged me
a bottle of champagne.
I thought us two could slip away
and watch the party.
What about Nanny? She'll be dead
to the world in no time.
Half an hour.
SHE GIGGLES
MUSIC: Once In Royal David's City
LOW CHATTER
Divine outfit, Mrs M! Oh, good news!
Harry Bainbridge has come up trumps
with a donkey.
He'll be delivered on Christmas Day.
Bless you!
One less thing to worry about.
The honour of the parish
is at stake.
We won't stand accused of letting
the side down.
Where is he? Basil!
If I'd known you were in the area,
I would have invited you.
Delightful to see you too,
Cousin(!) He's here, I take it?
Never mind, I'll find him myself.
A relative of yours? Barely.
Third cousin goodness knows
how many times removed,
and a thoroughly bad lot.
Enjoying the party, Inspector?
Does it look like it?
I hate Christmas.
I hate parties. And I particularly
hate parties with dancing!
Begging the question,
why are you here?
There speaks the voice
of a celibate.
Keep your eyes peeled
when the dancing starts.
5' 7", brown hair, green dress.
If she asks, you haven't seen me!
Aren't you excused?
An attack of gout
doesn't get me a red card.
She merely views it as a challenge.
A bad run of luck!
You expect me to settle
your gambling debts?
My credit isn't what it used to be.
Then you're a damn fool for
borrowing off your expectations.
Think of them as debts of honour.
We wouldn't want a stain
on the family name.
You're family by default, and you've
been staining my name for years.
No more, Basil!
From now on, you're on your own.
If you'll excuse me,
I must join my hostess.
You'll regret this, Cuz!
My apologies.
That was very unbecoming.
It's Basil
who should be apologising.
Will you excuse me
if I go to my room?
I think I'm starting a headache.
As long as you don't mind me
borrowing your husband for dancing.
I'll try not to wake you
when I come up.
Forgive me for saying,
but Diana doesn't seem herself.
Oh, it's nothing.
A touch of the baby blues,
according to Nanny.
APPLAUSE
MUSIC: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
My Lord Duke, lords, ladies
and gentlemen,
dancing will begin in the ballroom.
ANIMATED CHATTER
Mrs Mallory, 6:00.
LAUGHTER
Sorry to disturb your party, sir,
but the baby marquess is missing.
Trusty Goodfellow! What would I do
without you? Lead on.
There's no sign of forced entry.
My babies' windows are always
left open at night
to let Captain Fresh Air fly in.
And you were...? Watching the party.
I'm so sorry, Your Grace!
No-one blames you, Amy.
You're entitled to some fun.
Were you with anyone?
Oh, you stupid girl!
I warned you he was trouble.
George Parkin, my valet.
Has he been with you long?
About six months,
since leaving the army.
The problem with soldiers is they
can't keep their trousers buttoned.
And you were in bed the entire time?
I'm a very light sleeper,
if you're suggesting what I think.
I'm not suggesting anything, Miss...
It's Nanny Langton to you,
and I've been minding babies
for 50 years.
When they wake, I wake. Yes, ma'am.
Nanny Langton.
You're saying the baby
didn't wake up?
And you can write that down
in your book.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Was anything missing?
His eiderdown, and lamb.
It's his favourite toy.
He's not allowed it at night.
Nanny says he'll get crooked teeth.
But I always put it by his bed
so he can see it.
I fail to see how any of this
will find him.
It appears we're dealing with
a kidnapping,
so you can expect a ransom demand.
I want extra constables,
roadblocks at five miles,
a full search of the grounds,
with dogs,
and a full search of the house,
basement to attic.
In the meantime, until they make
contact, all you can do is wait.
And we will pray.
BARKING
A terrible business.
We assume it's a kidnapping?
The police seem to think so.
Although as yet,
there's no ransom demand.
Then God willing, he'll be returned
by Christmas. Hm.
In the meantime, arrangements
must proceed as planned.
I trust everything is shipshape
and Bristol?
We have an ox and an ass.
The adult choir has been practising
for weeks
and Dafydd Owen
has agreed to be soloist.
He's Eisteddfod champion tenor.
So we're hoping the Bishop will
overlook the fact he's a Methodist.
Well, it is Christmas.
And I took it upon myself
to take care of the casting,
so there will be no surprises
this year.
Donkey's here. Already?!
Did you not tell him he wasn't
supposed to drop him off
until Christmas Day?
Tell him yourself.
Mrs Hornby says
you're not letting the maids in.
At least let me get these clothes
cleaned.
I know what they're saying.
No-one's saying anything.
That it's my fault.
Why would they say that?
Because they know that I'm...
Because she's got a head filled
with nonsense on an empty stomach.
Beef broth. I made it myself.
I'm not hungry.
And you, you, off with you!
And find something useful to do,
or I'll find it for you.
Yes, Nanny.
Hello.
Padre, in case you hadn't noticed,
this is a crime scene!
Goodfellow, I've got the
Commissioner, Chief Constable,
not to mention
the Home-ruddy-Secretary
breathing down my neck,
so please tell me I've got something
to report back!
They found half-a-dozen sets
of fingerprints, sir,
but no surprises there,
it's the gardeners' ladders,
so they'll have to be eliminated.
Still nothing from the kidnappers?
No, sir.
Inspector Mallory?
I wonder if you would indulge me
in an experiment?
The ground is soft.
But the bottom of the ladder
has barely sunk in.
Spare me the riddles
and get to the point.
May I demonstrate?
I think the Father's trying to say
that... Thank you, Watson!
Which means the kidnappers didn't
gain entry or exit via the ladder.
And then went to great lengths to
make it look like an outside job.
It was the Yuletide ball.
The entire county was here.
But of those,
how many knew where he was sleeping?
Or that his windows
were open at night?
Or to take his favourite toy?
What are you implying?
If you would let me get a word
in edgeways,
I am deducing that the kidnappers
had knowledge of the baby
and his routines.
Which suggests an accomplice
within the family.
That's preposterous!
How many servants
accompanied Your Grace?
Just our nursery maid and my valet.
There's also the nanny.
Nanny is not a servant, Inspector,
more a member of the family.
On the subject of family,
your cousin Mr Urquhart was
conspicuously present last night.
Does anybody know of
his whereabouts?
He's in the Ochre bedroom.
Slightly worse for wear, I'm afraid.
Then I wonder if Your Grace
would permit me to wake him?
MUSIC: The Holly And The Ivy
He looks a bit miserable.
You'd be miserable if you had
to listen to that caterwauling.
My choir is in fine fettle,
thank you very much!
They're flat on the top Cs.
Oh, and you'd know, would you?
I've sang in the finest choir
in existence.
Huh! And what choir would that be
exactly?
Mind your own business.
SHE SIGHS
Mr Urquhart!
You left the party last night
after an argument with the duke.
Keep the volume down.
Every word is like a nail
in my skull.
And approximately half an hour
before the baby was found missing!
Can I ask where you went?
Up here, in search of a bed.
You were conspicuous by your absence
when all the drama was going on.
I was as drunk as a skunk.
Until recently,
YOU were the duke's heir.
Two wars have left the male Langtons
distinctly thin on the ground.
Behold, the bottom of the barrel.
The birth of the marquess
must have come as quite a blow.
Crushing!
But, as I am first to admit,
I would have made
a spectacularly bad duke.
If you're suggesting what I think,
then you're way off the mark,
old chap.
It transpires that the kidnappers
may have had an accomplice
known to the family.
So I'm sure you'll understand
my request
when I say, don't go anywhere
for the time being.
FAINT BARKING
Morning, Miss.
Can I ask what you're doing here?
Do you recognise this woman?
I've never seen her before.
Which is peculiar as she claims
to be the wife of your valet,
despite him telling my sergeant
he was unmarried.
Parkin?
I'm sorry, Your Grace.
He was just out of the army.
He needed a job and it was
a bachelor position.
A man can only serve one master.
I'm not his master, I'm his wife.
And I live in Hambleston.
So when he was here over Christmas,
I just...
I just wanted to give my husband
a Christmas card.
READS: On Christmas morning, under
the mistletoe, remember our kisses.
That's personal.
I can see that. Very poetic!
I will leave whenever
is convenient, Your Grace.
I think His Grace has more pressing
matters on his mind.
Indeed. And I won't punish a man
for wanting to support his family,
nor separate him from his wife.
When... all this is over,
we'll look at moving both of you
into a cottage.
Thank you.
You're doing a fine job.
I was an apprentice to a master
carpenter back in the day.
Back in your daydreams.
The ass has lost its appetite.
Is he ill?
He's missing his friend.
Oh, you speak Donkey as well now,
do you(?)
If you've finished, you can go
to the kitchen for your tea.
Yes, Nanny.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
The likes of him would never be
interested in a girl like you.
BARKING
WHISTLE
Can you confirm
that this is your son's?
I'm not sure. Nanny would know.
I did the embroidery myself.
This means he's been injured,
or worse!
If he's been kidnapped,
they're hardly likely to harm
the golden goose.
Quite.
It's too soon for alarm.
We don't even know
if it's human blood yet.
Get that to Scenes of Crime and tell
them I want the results yesterday!
♪ Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
♪ The silent stars go by... ♪
That's only half the choir.
Where's the other half?
They're dropping like flies,
I'm afraid.
There's been an outbreak
of laryngitis.
Oh, my mother of God!
It's Christmas Eve -
what are we going to do now?
Don't worry, Mrs McCarthy.
We are small but mighty...
..and Dafydd will carry the day.
♪ For Christ is born of Mary
♪ And gathered all above... ♪
This "unusual" interest
started when, exactly?
The minute he arrived.
He was always looking for excuses
to hang round the nursery.
Did it occur to you as odd?
I thought he was...
You thought he was "paying court".
And neglected to tell you
he had a wife.
Not that we....
I'm not that sort of girl.
I don't doubt it for a second.
And on the night in question?
He bought up Nanny's cocoa
from the kitchen.
But I think that was just an excuse
to get me out of there so...
George Parkin
brought the nanny's cocoa?
CLOCK PLAYS A TUNE
CLOCK CHIMES
Our thoughts and prayers
are with you. How is your wife?
I'm afraid she's unwell
and taken to bed.
Forgive me for saying
but, even before this happened,
Diana hasn't seemed herself.
Do you know something?
Diana left the ball to go to bed.
But, the next day,
I found mud on her gown.
I expect she went for a walk.
At night?
It's not unusual.
She's had great trouble sleeping
since David was born.
Hardly surprising
after what she went through.
Nanny! What do you mean?
She gets confused.
We should never have taken her
to that dreadful place.
What place?
John?
Diana had complications
and needed surgery.
There wasn't time
to get to the hospital,
so we were directed
to a maternity home,
where there was a doctor
attending another birth.
"Doctor"? Sawbones!
We nearly lost the both of them.
But, thanks to God, we didn't.
The birth announcement said
that David was born at Frome.
I admit the sin of snobbery.
Well, Cedar House was a facility
for unmarried mothers.
It's hardly an auspicious birthplace
for a future Duke.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Lady Felicia, I need your permission
to make a search.
Sarge!
Right. Let's see if we can find
George Parkin, shall we?
Do you recognise this?
Have trouble sleeping, do we?
If you'd fought in two wars,
then you'd have trouble sleeping.
Ten years in the
Royal Worcester Fusiliers.
Honourable discharge in February.
And then, in April,
you took employment with the Duke
after lying
about your marital status.
I explained that.
Your wife
is a very attractive woman.
Leaving me pondering your interest
in Miss Amy who...
let's just say wouldn't win prizes
in a beauty contest.
Men will be men.
And a man like you
could have his pick.
I'd wager,
under normal circumstances,
you wouldn't look at her twice.
And so to the night in question,
when you brought the Nanny's cocoa
to the nursery...
The kitchen were run off their feet.
And here's the coincidence.
The dregs of the cocoa were tested
and found to contain Nembutal.
Coincidentally, the very same drug
we found in your possession.
Like you say - coincidence.
Too many for my liking.
So I'll ask you the question again -
who were you working with?
And I'll tell you again -
it had nothing to do with me.
Oh. Anything, sir?
A big, fat nothing.
Hm.
The Chief Constable
wants you to call him back,
and Mrs Mallory phoned again
to remind you
that the shops shut early
on Christmas Eve.
Padre.
I don't suppose you're here
to wish me a merry Christmas.
I heard that you had made an arrest
and I was wondering...
If you could have a good snoop?
..if I could do anything?
Only if you could add professional
torturer to your list of skills.
So he's admitted nothing?
And he's as guilty as sin.
I can smell it on him.
I want to see my husband.
Out of the question.
He's under arrest on suspicion
of conspiracy to kidnap.
But as you're here, Mrs Parkin,
maybe we could have a chat?
I've nothing to say.
I don't need to remind you
that a baby is missing.
So if there's anything at all
you want to get off your chest...?
I can tell you this.
I swear on God's word
that my husband is innocent.
Then you'd better pray he turns up
without a scratch,
or your husband will be facing
a murder charge.
And there isn't a jury in England
that wouldn't see him hanged!
You're making a mistake.
See her out, Sergeant.
Yes, sir.
This way, madam.
I-I just want to speak to him.
Is that really too much to ask?
CHURCH BELL TOLLS
Merry Christmas, my Lady.
Merry Christmas, Father.
I came to light a candle for David.
I take it there's still no ransom.
John's beside himself.
He's determined to attend
Christmas Mass, however.
It seems terrible to be celebrating
the birth of one child
when your own is....
BABY CRIES
BABY GIGGLES
Hello, David.
Hello.
MALLORY: 'Back with his parents,
sir.'
Not a scratch on him.
At least it seems
he was well looked after.
Indeed it is, sir.
Yes, sir. And to you, too.
I suppose that means Christmas
dinner with the family.
You suppose wrong.
The baby may be back,
but his kidnappers
are still at large.
Well, cheer up.
Who'd want to be stuck at home,
surrounded by stockings
and screaming children,
when there's villains to apprehend?
Once we nabbed the valet,
the kidnappers knew we were
closing in and panicked.
You still think he's involved?
He's guilty as Bluebeard, and his
accomplice is still out there.
Was the church locked
after Midnight Mass?
The church is never locked.
And the baby was found
at seven in the morning,
which gives us a window
of approximately... Sir!
Your secret's safe with me, Padre.
Merry Christmas. Ah, yes,
and merry Christmas to you too.
DOOR CLOSES
Dafydd's down
with the laryngitis now.
Could be worse.
We've no soloist, we've half a choir
and a missing donkey.
Exactly how could it be worse?
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
You slept in the church last night.
Well, it's better than up there.
The mattress is all lumpy and you
snore like an elephant in heat.
I have a question.
Oh, I hate questions.
But as it's Christmas, I'll let you
have one. And an answer.
The sacristy door was locked,
which means that anyone
entering the church
would have to pass by
the confessional.
That's not a question.
Who did you see?
Jocabed.
Now, what's that supposed to mean?
That's two questions.
And I have places to be.
And where do you have to be
that's so important on Christmas?
I have to see a sheep
about a donkey.
Talking in riddles as usual.
DOOR CLOSES
And who is Jocabed
when he's at home?
She.
Moses' mother.
SHE GASPS
Who put the child in a basket
and hid it in the bulrushes.
Where he was found
by Pharaoh's daughter...
and raised a prince.
Well, now, where are YOU off to?
Canon Fox will be here...
SHE SIGHS
..in an hour
Have you news about my husband?
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
He's still under arrest,
and the police are looking
for his accomplice.
Contrary to appearance,
the Inspector is no fool,
and it's only a matter of time
before he works it out.
Works out what?
Mind if I sit down?
HE GRUNTS
That it was you
who left the baby in the church.
You-you don't understand.
I understand
a lot more than you think.
I know that David
was born in Cedar House...
..and that another mother
gave birth that night.
Was that woman you?
(Yes.)
SHE STRAINS AND SCREAMS
The Duchess of Frome
has just arrived
with suspected pre-eclampsia.
Get some drugs in her and get it out
as quickly as possible.
Forgive me...
..but, um, I thought
that your poetic skills
left much to be desired.
Until I realised
that is was an acrostic.
You swore on God's word...
..that your husband was innocent.
And I think that you
were telling the truth.
Because you can't steal...
what is yours.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
"OUR SON SAFE."
They are the thieves.
They stole our child.
Where's my baby?
I'm afraid he didn't
survive the night.
No!
That's not true. You're lying!
Now then...
Please say you're lying!
There's no need for hysterics.
You'd only have given him up
for adoption.
'Wasn't true.'
We were keeping him.
George and I were getting married
as soon as he was back from Korea.
Instead, he returned to find
his son was dead.
How did you know?
When I saw this.
When he was born,
I saw it as clearly as I see you.
BABY CRIES
Is it... Is it a boy or girl?
'And I remember thinking, if it
was a girl, we'd call her Stella.'
Star.
And what if it was a boy?
Jacob, after my father.
When George got the job,
it wasn't to...
Not at first.
We just wanted to know
that he was happy and loved.
That's rich.
Left in the care
of a senile old woman
while his so-called "mother" could
hardly even bear to look at him.
'All we did was take back
what was ours.
'He didn't make a sound.
'It was like he recognised me.'
Ah!
'The nightdress would have
given him away at once,
'so I had to get rid of it.'
Ah. The blood was yours.
They thought he was dead.
They would have hanged
his own father for murder.
HE PUFFS
You could have gone to the police.
The word of a servant
over that of a duke?
The word of a duke...
is NOTHING to God.
How...?
Where on Earth did you find him?
They share a field.
They don't like being separated.
And where are you off to now?
Oh... Come on.
Come on.
God heard your prayers.
And sent us a Christmas miracle.
What can I do for you, Father?
I came to offer my condolences
on the death of your son.
I suppose I always knew
the truth would out.
I can explain.
I can't wait to hear it.
Diana nearly died.
She needed an operation
and it caused...
The doctor said that she would
never bear another child.
And as for our son, he was weak.
Fighting for his life.
COUGHING
God gives strength
to those that need it.
He gave this one strength
enough for two.
A misbegotten by-blow
destined for adoption.
Your son carries the weight of
destiny on his shoulders.
They seem such fragile shoulders.
Your Grace...
Your Grace? There's no need
for alarm. It's good news.
The Marquess has rallied
and is out of danger.
Would you like to hold your son?
I'm afraid he became poorly
and died during the night.
It's a shame.
There's a waiting list for boys.
At least he won't be mourned.
It's for the best.
You knew, but you told no-one.
We don't expect your
sort to understand.
Centuries of duty and obligation,
destroyed in a generation
by a black sheep named Urquhart.
Did you tell your wife?
That the child she'd prayed for,
the only child she would ever
bear was dead?
Someone else would only have
adopted him. No harm done.
No harm?
A mother who mourned him
day and night.
And a father in prison for kidnap.
Parkin?
Oh, dear God, what have I done?
Nothing.
You've done nothing.
Do you think anyone will pay heed
to these ramblings?
Listen to Nanny, John.
Think of your position.
His position...
..means NOTHING to God.
BABY FUSSES
There, now. Ssh, ssh, ssh...
What must I do?
What any man would do.
I don't defend my actions.
But had I known he was wanted,
I would never have kept silent.
That woman stole my child.
She acted on my behalf.
The responsibility is mine
and mine alone.
I told myself it was for others.
To spare my wife's grief, to...
..safeguard our family name,
but in truth...
..it was my selfish desire for a son
that blinded my integrity.
What's to be done?
I will inform the authorities
and take my punishment
like the honourable man I once was.
And may God forgive me.
That's not in doubt.
The question is, Hannah,
can you find it in your
heart to show mercy?
I lost one son.
You've lost two.
It's punishment enough for any man.
May I say goodbye?
You be good for your parents.
Hmm?
Make them proud.
DOOR CLOSES
MALLORY: The babies were
"accidentally" switched at birth?
Lest there be any doubt, I've
informed the relevant authorities
including the Chief Inspector
and the Home Secretary.
And this has only just come to light
due to the timely intervention
of Father Brown.
Oh, I'm late for Mass.
And Mrs McCarthy will no doubt be
having an apoplexy.
I trust the case is now closed
and Parkin will be released
so that he can spend
Christmas with his wife and...
..and child.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Inspector.
Is everything all right, sir?
The thing about kids is...
..they might
be pains in the backside,
but at least they're your pains
in the backside.
Amen to that.
FOX: So we have a half-strength
choir and no soloist.
On the bright side, there is a
donkey albeit with no passenger.
I assume Our Lady will be
making an appearance?
Yes, yes. Peggy Harrington.
This year's Queen of the May.
Lady Felicia
has just gone to fetch her.
Bad news, I'm afraid.
It seems Peggy received a pair of
roller skates from Father Christmas.
And what has that got to do
with the price of figs?
Where is she?
The Cottage Hospital
with a sprained ankle
and a concussion.
Chin up, Mrs M.
We'll just have to improvise.
I knew you'd do the right thing.
I don't dare hope
for your forgiveness.
When he looked at me,
I saw hatred in his eyes.
I thought it was me.
That I was going mad.
That I was wicked and unnatural
for not loving him.
Now I think he knew.
We both knew.
It was an unforgivable deception.
You did it because
you love me, John.
I won't hate you for that.
Inspector Mallory.
Happy Christmas.
Erm... I wonder if I might
beg a favour?
Shall we make a start?
♪ Once in royal David's city
♪ Stood a lowly cattle shed
♪ Where a mother lay her baby
♪ In a manger for his bed
♪ Mary was that mother mild
♪ Jesus Christ, her little child
♪ He came down to Earth from Heaven
♪ Who is God and Lord of all
♪ And his shelter was a stable
♪ And his cradle was a stall... ♪
And they found Mary and Joseph
and the Infant lying in a manger.
And seeing, they understood the word
that had been spoken to them
concerning this child.
This is the word of the Lord.
ALL: Thanks be to God.
And now, we will stand
and sing hymn number 35.
ORGAN PLAYING
While Shepherds Watched
Are you still unwell?
The doctor came.
I'm not ill, John.
I'm with child.
Around four months he said.
♪ The angel of the Lord came down
♪ And glory shone around
♪ Fear not, said he
♪ For mighty dread... ♪
I am sorry.
Of course you must go.
We feel terrible leaving you alone
on Christmas day.
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll be fine with a few brandy
cherries and the Queen's speech.
She will not be alone.
Not when there's turkey enough
for ten in the Presbytery.
Gosh. Really?
Yes. You can help me peel
the sprouts.
Of course.
Goodbye, Father,
and thank you for everything.
God be with you both.
Please convey my compliments
to Bishop Reynard and inform him
I've never experienced
a more uplifting Mass.
Well, we aim to please.
They're full of seasonal spirit.
Although I won't be much of
a Santa Claus this year.
Still, it's not all about
presents, is it?
Actually, sir, I did some shopping
myself yesterday
and took the liberty
just in case you didn't get time.
There's a model Spitfire and
one of those music boxes
with the ballerina
and a bottle of Elizabeth Arvon,
which Mrs Goodfellow
is very partial to.
Thank you, Sergeant.
That's... very thoughtful.
You're welcome, Sir.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Goodfellow.
Best be off. Donkey needs feeding.
Would you get a move on?
At this rate,
we'll be eating them raw.
Oh, you really don't know
how to peel a sprout, do you?
There's more than one way
to skin a cat, Mrs M.
Yes, well, the next time I meet
a cat peeling sprouts like that,
I'll make sure... Mrs M.
Another sherry.
Oh! Thank you.
Absent friends.
Happy Christmas, Sid.
Happy Christmas, Sid.
Happy Christmas.
Now, where has that Michael got to?
He went to feed the donkey.
He's nothing but trouble that man.
Are you sure that's where he went?
I don't see any footprints.
Oh. Perhaps he's
a Christmas miracle.
Now you're being ridiculous.
The thing about miracles
is that they do happen.
Oooh!
Mrs McCarthy? We won!
Cheltenham 2-1 Evesham!
Father, in here! You have a visitor.
Canon Fox from the Diocesan Office.
Ah, Father.
I trust there's nothing wrong?
Oh, if there were, you could be sure
Bishop Reynard would be here
in person.
No. Actually, it's about
your Christmas Day Mass.
The nativity procession
is the highlight of our calendar.
It also has a reputation for being
somewhat eclectic
in its interpretation of the Gospel.
Last year, for instance,
Our Lady's arrival at the stable
was on the back of a goat.
Well, we had trouble
finding a donkey.
Where the Christ Child was
worshipped by, amongst others,
five kings, two cocker spaniels
and the Lone Ranger.
Derek Miller.
He made a spirited argument
that if the sheep had shepherds,
the oxen should have cowboys.
It seemed churlish to deny him.
And then there's
your... Sunday school choir.
What they lack in voice,
they make up for in enthusiasm.
It is for the children.
Not this year!
This year, the Duke of Frome
is spending Christmas at Montague.
And, we're informed, will
be attending Christmas Mass
at St Mary's.
As he's Britain's premier
Catholic duke,
we're keen you don't let the side
down, so to speak.
To wit,
I will be attending in person.
And as the reputation of the diocese
rests on a somewhat
dubious precedent,
Bishop Reynard thought it judicious
to put down a few markers.
This year, he wants
the full biblical line-up.
He wants wholesome-looking children.
He wants ox and ass
and chorales that put
King's College, Cambridge to shame.
Damn it, he wants snow!
I'm not sure I can stretch to snow.
Then you'd better get praying.
♪♪
Thank you for coming, Father.
I could curse Monty
for not being here.
Missing the Yuletide ball!
The great and the good.
Oh, I appreciate the moral support.
I'm surprised you need it.
The duke and you are cousins.
You were practically brought up
together.
Oh, John and Diana are lovely.
Good morning, Windy.
Hello, Nanny Langton.
You did well for yourself,
for a redhead.
Diana! John! How lovely to see you!
You remember Father Brown?
Holy Mother...!
(Oh!)
He's cold as ice. Oh, goodness!
Poor soul probably froze to death.
Oh!
May his soul rest in peace.
That... was my intention,
until some infernal woman
started squawking!
(Boo!) What are you doing here?
I just wanted to see
where you're billeted.
Can't you see I've work to do?
You don't say.
More precious than baby Jesus,
this one.
Don't call him that.
Why not?
He's a miracle, by all accounts.
What are you doing here?!
One of the cases got mixed up
with the duke's. Huh!
See you around.
Trouble in trousers, that one.
And what he sees in you
is a mystery.
Congratulations on the birth
of your son and heir.
I'm grateful for your
intercessions, Father.
Prayer succeeded
when medicine failed.
Scores of doctors and treatments.
And when we'd finally given up
hope...
Talk of the devil!
John will hold him.
He cries when I do.
I'm not sure that he likes me
very much.
THEY CHUCKLE
Come here. Hello.
Such a handsome boy!
He looks just like his father.
So, Windy,
where's this husband of yours?
Windy? It's a childhood nickname.
Windermere by name,
bowels like bellows.
Monty's on tour with
Her Majesty, Nanny.
Oh! God bless her.
Did John tell you about our
diamond jubilee party at Frome?
Felicia meant the new queen, Nanny.
I know that. I don't know what
her parents were thinking of,
allowing the girl to marry a Greek!
We do possess
a plentiful supply of cutlery.
Nature's spoons.
His name is Michael Negal.
I found him in the church
half-frozen to death,
so I brought him in for a hot meal.
Not that I've received any thanks.
She woke me from a perfectly good
sleep, and her food's over-salted.
This is a harsh winter
to be sleeping rough.
You could perish.
Oh. Seeing as you ask,
maybe I could stay for a bit.
Odd jobs in return for some grub
and a floor in the church.
I'm afraid that won't be possible.
But there is a room for you here
at the presbytery.
I hope you know what you're doing.
The Bible tells us to be hospitable
to strangers
lest they be angels in disguise.
BELCH!
Well, in that case,
maybe he could take up my offer
of a hot bath
and some clean clothes.
I'm attached to my dirt.
We've been travelling companions
for a long time.
Is there an inside privy?
Upstairs on the left.
Good. Because this stew
will take some shifting.
BELCH!
MICHAEL BREAKS WIND
Time to go to sleep now, David.
Yes, it is.
Night-night. Night-night.
BABY GURGLES
Old bag's nightcap. They're run
off their feet in the kitchen.
Since when were you so considerate?
Since they bunged me
a bottle of champagne.
I thought us two could slip away
and watch the party.
What about Nanny? She'll be dead
to the world in no time.
Half an hour.
SHE GIGGLES
MUSIC: Once In Royal David's City
LOW CHATTER
Divine outfit, Mrs M! Oh, good news!
Harry Bainbridge has come up trumps
with a donkey.
He'll be delivered on Christmas Day.
Bless you!
One less thing to worry about.
The honour of the parish
is at stake.
We won't stand accused of letting
the side down.
Where is he? Basil!
If I'd known you were in the area,
I would have invited you.
Delightful to see you too,
Cousin(!) He's here, I take it?
Never mind, I'll find him myself.
A relative of yours? Barely.
Third cousin goodness knows
how many times removed,
and a thoroughly bad lot.
Enjoying the party, Inspector?
Does it look like it?
I hate Christmas.
I hate parties. And I particularly
hate parties with dancing!
Begging the question,
why are you here?
There speaks the voice
of a celibate.
Keep your eyes peeled
when the dancing starts.
5' 7", brown hair, green dress.
If she asks, you haven't seen me!
Aren't you excused?
An attack of gout
doesn't get me a red card.
She merely views it as a challenge.
A bad run of luck!
You expect me to settle
your gambling debts?
My credit isn't what it used to be.
Then you're a damn fool for
borrowing off your expectations.
Think of them as debts of honour.
We wouldn't want a stain
on the family name.
You're family by default, and you've
been staining my name for years.
No more, Basil!
From now on, you're on your own.
If you'll excuse me,
I must join my hostess.
You'll regret this, Cuz!
My apologies.
That was very unbecoming.
It's Basil
who should be apologising.
Will you excuse me
if I go to my room?
I think I'm starting a headache.
As long as you don't mind me
borrowing your husband for dancing.
I'll try not to wake you
when I come up.
Forgive me for saying,
but Diana doesn't seem herself.
Oh, it's nothing.
A touch of the baby blues,
according to Nanny.
APPLAUSE
MUSIC: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
My Lord Duke, lords, ladies
and gentlemen,
dancing will begin in the ballroom.
ANIMATED CHATTER
Mrs Mallory, 6:00.
LAUGHTER
Sorry to disturb your party, sir,
but the baby marquess is missing.
Trusty Goodfellow! What would I do
without you? Lead on.
There's no sign of forced entry.
My babies' windows are always
left open at night
to let Captain Fresh Air fly in.
And you were...? Watching the party.
I'm so sorry, Your Grace!
No-one blames you, Amy.
You're entitled to some fun.
Were you with anyone?
Oh, you stupid girl!
I warned you he was trouble.
George Parkin, my valet.
Has he been with you long?
About six months,
since leaving the army.
The problem with soldiers is they
can't keep their trousers buttoned.
And you were in bed the entire time?
I'm a very light sleeper,
if you're suggesting what I think.
I'm not suggesting anything, Miss...
It's Nanny Langton to you,
and I've been minding babies
for 50 years.
When they wake, I wake. Yes, ma'am.
Nanny Langton.
You're saying the baby
didn't wake up?
And you can write that down
in your book.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Was anything missing?
His eiderdown, and lamb.
It's his favourite toy.
He's not allowed it at night.
Nanny says he'll get crooked teeth.
But I always put it by his bed
so he can see it.
I fail to see how any of this
will find him.
It appears we're dealing with
a kidnapping,
so you can expect a ransom demand.
I want extra constables,
roadblocks at five miles,
a full search of the grounds,
with dogs,
and a full search of the house,
basement to attic.
In the meantime, until they make
contact, all you can do is wait.
And we will pray.
BARKING
A terrible business.
We assume it's a kidnapping?
The police seem to think so.
Although as yet,
there's no ransom demand.
Then God willing, he'll be returned
by Christmas. Hm.
In the meantime, arrangements
must proceed as planned.
I trust everything is shipshape
and Bristol?
We have an ox and an ass.
The adult choir has been practising
for weeks
and Dafydd Owen
has agreed to be soloist.
He's Eisteddfod champion tenor.
So we're hoping the Bishop will
overlook the fact he's a Methodist.
Well, it is Christmas.
And I took it upon myself
to take care of the casting,
so there will be no surprises
this year.
Donkey's here. Already?!
Did you not tell him he wasn't
supposed to drop him off
until Christmas Day?
Tell him yourself.
Mrs Hornby says
you're not letting the maids in.
At least let me get these clothes
cleaned.
I know what they're saying.
No-one's saying anything.
That it's my fault.
Why would they say that?
Because they know that I'm...
Because she's got a head filled
with nonsense on an empty stomach.
Beef broth. I made it myself.
I'm not hungry.
And you, you, off with you!
And find something useful to do,
or I'll find it for you.
Yes, Nanny.
Hello.
Padre, in case you hadn't noticed,
this is a crime scene!
Goodfellow, I've got the
Commissioner, Chief Constable,
not to mention
the Home-ruddy-Secretary
breathing down my neck,
so please tell me I've got something
to report back!
They found half-a-dozen sets
of fingerprints, sir,
but no surprises there,
it's the gardeners' ladders,
so they'll have to be eliminated.
Still nothing from the kidnappers?
No, sir.
Inspector Mallory?
I wonder if you would indulge me
in an experiment?
The ground is soft.
But the bottom of the ladder
has barely sunk in.
Spare me the riddles
and get to the point.
May I demonstrate?
I think the Father's trying to say
that... Thank you, Watson!
Which means the kidnappers didn't
gain entry or exit via the ladder.
And then went to great lengths to
make it look like an outside job.
It was the Yuletide ball.
The entire county was here.
But of those,
how many knew where he was sleeping?
Or that his windows
were open at night?
Or to take his favourite toy?
What are you implying?
If you would let me get a word
in edgeways,
I am deducing that the kidnappers
had knowledge of the baby
and his routines.
Which suggests an accomplice
within the family.
That's preposterous!
How many servants
accompanied Your Grace?
Just our nursery maid and my valet.
There's also the nanny.
Nanny is not a servant, Inspector,
more a member of the family.
On the subject of family,
your cousin Mr Urquhart was
conspicuously present last night.
Does anybody know of
his whereabouts?
He's in the Ochre bedroom.
Slightly worse for wear, I'm afraid.
Then I wonder if Your Grace
would permit me to wake him?
MUSIC: The Holly And The Ivy
He looks a bit miserable.
You'd be miserable if you had
to listen to that caterwauling.
My choir is in fine fettle,
thank you very much!
They're flat on the top Cs.
Oh, and you'd know, would you?
I've sang in the finest choir
in existence.
Huh! And what choir would that be
exactly?
Mind your own business.
SHE SIGHS
Mr Urquhart!
You left the party last night
after an argument with the duke.
Keep the volume down.
Every word is like a nail
in my skull.
And approximately half an hour
before the baby was found missing!
Can I ask where you went?
Up here, in search of a bed.
You were conspicuous by your absence
when all the drama was going on.
I was as drunk as a skunk.
Until recently,
YOU were the duke's heir.
Two wars have left the male Langtons
distinctly thin on the ground.
Behold, the bottom of the barrel.
The birth of the marquess
must have come as quite a blow.
Crushing!
But, as I am first to admit,
I would have made
a spectacularly bad duke.
If you're suggesting what I think,
then you're way off the mark,
old chap.
It transpires that the kidnappers
may have had an accomplice
known to the family.
So I'm sure you'll understand
my request
when I say, don't go anywhere
for the time being.
FAINT BARKING
Morning, Miss.
Can I ask what you're doing here?
Do you recognise this woman?
I've never seen her before.
Which is peculiar as she claims
to be the wife of your valet,
despite him telling my sergeant
he was unmarried.
Parkin?
I'm sorry, Your Grace.
He was just out of the army.
He needed a job and it was
a bachelor position.
A man can only serve one master.
I'm not his master, I'm his wife.
And I live in Hambleston.
So when he was here over Christmas,
I just...
I just wanted to give my husband
a Christmas card.
READS: On Christmas morning, under
the mistletoe, remember our kisses.
That's personal.
I can see that. Very poetic!
I will leave whenever
is convenient, Your Grace.
I think His Grace has more pressing
matters on his mind.
Indeed. And I won't punish a man
for wanting to support his family,
nor separate him from his wife.
When... all this is over,
we'll look at moving both of you
into a cottage.
Thank you.
You're doing a fine job.
I was an apprentice to a master
carpenter back in the day.
Back in your daydreams.
The ass has lost its appetite.
Is he ill?
He's missing his friend.
Oh, you speak Donkey as well now,
do you(?)
If you've finished, you can go
to the kitchen for your tea.
Yes, Nanny.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
The likes of him would never be
interested in a girl like you.
BARKING
WHISTLE
Can you confirm
that this is your son's?
I'm not sure. Nanny would know.
I did the embroidery myself.
This means he's been injured,
or worse!
If he's been kidnapped,
they're hardly likely to harm
the golden goose.
Quite.
It's too soon for alarm.
We don't even know
if it's human blood yet.
Get that to Scenes of Crime and tell
them I want the results yesterday!
♪ Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
♪ The silent stars go by... ♪
That's only half the choir.
Where's the other half?
They're dropping like flies,
I'm afraid.
There's been an outbreak
of laryngitis.
Oh, my mother of God!
It's Christmas Eve -
what are we going to do now?
Don't worry, Mrs McCarthy.
We are small but mighty...
..and Dafydd will carry the day.
♪ For Christ is born of Mary
♪ And gathered all above... ♪
This "unusual" interest
started when, exactly?
The minute he arrived.
He was always looking for excuses
to hang round the nursery.
Did it occur to you as odd?
I thought he was...
You thought he was "paying court".
And neglected to tell you
he had a wife.
Not that we....
I'm not that sort of girl.
I don't doubt it for a second.
And on the night in question?
He bought up Nanny's cocoa
from the kitchen.
But I think that was just an excuse
to get me out of there so...
George Parkin
brought the nanny's cocoa?
CLOCK PLAYS A TUNE
CLOCK CHIMES
Our thoughts and prayers
are with you. How is your wife?
I'm afraid she's unwell
and taken to bed.
Forgive me for saying
but, even before this happened,
Diana hasn't seemed herself.
Do you know something?
Diana left the ball to go to bed.
But, the next day,
I found mud on her gown.
I expect she went for a walk.
At night?
It's not unusual.
She's had great trouble sleeping
since David was born.
Hardly surprising
after what she went through.
Nanny! What do you mean?
She gets confused.
We should never have taken her
to that dreadful place.
What place?
John?
Diana had complications
and needed surgery.
There wasn't time
to get to the hospital,
so we were directed
to a maternity home,
where there was a doctor
attending another birth.
"Doctor"? Sawbones!
We nearly lost the both of them.
But, thanks to God, we didn't.
The birth announcement said
that David was born at Frome.
I admit the sin of snobbery.
Well, Cedar House was a facility
for unmarried mothers.
It's hardly an auspicious birthplace
for a future Duke.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Lady Felicia, I need your permission
to make a search.
Sarge!
Right. Let's see if we can find
George Parkin, shall we?
Do you recognise this?
Have trouble sleeping, do we?
If you'd fought in two wars,
then you'd have trouble sleeping.
Ten years in the
Royal Worcester Fusiliers.
Honourable discharge in February.
And then, in April,
you took employment with the Duke
after lying
about your marital status.
I explained that.
Your wife
is a very attractive woman.
Leaving me pondering your interest
in Miss Amy who...
let's just say wouldn't win prizes
in a beauty contest.
Men will be men.
And a man like you
could have his pick.
I'd wager,
under normal circumstances,
you wouldn't look at her twice.
And so to the night in question,
when you brought the Nanny's cocoa
to the nursery...
The kitchen were run off their feet.
And here's the coincidence.
The dregs of the cocoa were tested
and found to contain Nembutal.
Coincidentally, the very same drug
we found in your possession.
Like you say - coincidence.
Too many for my liking.
So I'll ask you the question again -
who were you working with?
And I'll tell you again -
it had nothing to do with me.
Oh. Anything, sir?
A big, fat nothing.
Hm.
The Chief Constable
wants you to call him back,
and Mrs Mallory phoned again
to remind you
that the shops shut early
on Christmas Eve.
Padre.
I don't suppose you're here
to wish me a merry Christmas.
I heard that you had made an arrest
and I was wondering...
If you could have a good snoop?
..if I could do anything?
Only if you could add professional
torturer to your list of skills.
So he's admitted nothing?
And he's as guilty as sin.
I can smell it on him.
I want to see my husband.
Out of the question.
He's under arrest on suspicion
of conspiracy to kidnap.
But as you're here, Mrs Parkin,
maybe we could have a chat?
I've nothing to say.
I don't need to remind you
that a baby is missing.
So if there's anything at all
you want to get off your chest...?
I can tell you this.
I swear on God's word
that my husband is innocent.
Then you'd better pray he turns up
without a scratch,
or your husband will be facing
a murder charge.
And there isn't a jury in England
that wouldn't see him hanged!
You're making a mistake.
See her out, Sergeant.
Yes, sir.
This way, madam.
I-I just want to speak to him.
Is that really too much to ask?
CHURCH BELL TOLLS
Merry Christmas, my Lady.
Merry Christmas, Father.
I came to light a candle for David.
I take it there's still no ransom.
John's beside himself.
He's determined to attend
Christmas Mass, however.
It seems terrible to be celebrating
the birth of one child
when your own is....
BABY CRIES
BABY GIGGLES
Hello, David.
Hello.
MALLORY: 'Back with his parents,
sir.'
Not a scratch on him.
At least it seems
he was well looked after.
Indeed it is, sir.
Yes, sir. And to you, too.
I suppose that means Christmas
dinner with the family.
You suppose wrong.
The baby may be back,
but his kidnappers
are still at large.
Well, cheer up.
Who'd want to be stuck at home,
surrounded by stockings
and screaming children,
when there's villains to apprehend?
Once we nabbed the valet,
the kidnappers knew we were
closing in and panicked.
You still think he's involved?
He's guilty as Bluebeard, and his
accomplice is still out there.
Was the church locked
after Midnight Mass?
The church is never locked.
And the baby was found
at seven in the morning,
which gives us a window
of approximately... Sir!
Your secret's safe with me, Padre.
Merry Christmas. Ah, yes,
and merry Christmas to you too.
DOOR CLOSES
Dafydd's down
with the laryngitis now.
Could be worse.
We've no soloist, we've half a choir
and a missing donkey.
Exactly how could it be worse?
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
You slept in the church last night.
Well, it's better than up there.
The mattress is all lumpy and you
snore like an elephant in heat.
I have a question.
Oh, I hate questions.
But as it's Christmas, I'll let you
have one. And an answer.
The sacristy door was locked,
which means that anyone
entering the church
would have to pass by
the confessional.
That's not a question.
Who did you see?
Jocabed.
Now, what's that supposed to mean?
That's two questions.
And I have places to be.
And where do you have to be
that's so important on Christmas?
I have to see a sheep
about a donkey.
Talking in riddles as usual.
DOOR CLOSES
And who is Jocabed
when he's at home?
She.
Moses' mother.
SHE GASPS
Who put the child in a basket
and hid it in the bulrushes.
Where he was found
by Pharaoh's daughter...
and raised a prince.
Well, now, where are YOU off to?
Canon Fox will be here...
SHE SIGHS
..in an hour
Have you news about my husband?
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
He's still under arrest,
and the police are looking
for his accomplice.
Contrary to appearance,
the Inspector is no fool,
and it's only a matter of time
before he works it out.
Works out what?
Mind if I sit down?
HE GRUNTS
That it was you
who left the baby in the church.
You-you don't understand.
I understand
a lot more than you think.
I know that David
was born in Cedar House...
..and that another mother
gave birth that night.
Was that woman you?
(Yes.)
SHE STRAINS AND SCREAMS
The Duchess of Frome
has just arrived
with suspected pre-eclampsia.
Get some drugs in her and get it out
as quickly as possible.
Forgive me...
..but, um, I thought
that your poetic skills
left much to be desired.
Until I realised
that is was an acrostic.
You swore on God's word...
..that your husband was innocent.
And I think that you
were telling the truth.
Because you can't steal...
what is yours.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
"OUR SON SAFE."
They are the thieves.
They stole our child.
Where's my baby?
I'm afraid he didn't
survive the night.
No!
That's not true. You're lying!
Now then...
Please say you're lying!
There's no need for hysterics.
You'd only have given him up
for adoption.
'Wasn't true.'
We were keeping him.
George and I were getting married
as soon as he was back from Korea.
Instead, he returned to find
his son was dead.
How did you know?
When I saw this.
When he was born,
I saw it as clearly as I see you.
BABY CRIES
Is it... Is it a boy or girl?
'And I remember thinking, if it
was a girl, we'd call her Stella.'
Star.
And what if it was a boy?
Jacob, after my father.
When George got the job,
it wasn't to...
Not at first.
We just wanted to know
that he was happy and loved.
That's rich.
Left in the care
of a senile old woman
while his so-called "mother" could
hardly even bear to look at him.
'All we did was take back
what was ours.
'He didn't make a sound.
'It was like he recognised me.'
Ah!
'The nightdress would have
given him away at once,
'so I had to get rid of it.'
Ah. The blood was yours.
They thought he was dead.
They would have hanged
his own father for murder.
HE PUFFS
You could have gone to the police.
The word of a servant
over that of a duke?
The word of a duke...
is NOTHING to God.
How...?
Where on Earth did you find him?
They share a field.
They don't like being separated.
And where are you off to now?
Oh... Come on.
Come on.
God heard your prayers.
And sent us a Christmas miracle.
What can I do for you, Father?
I came to offer my condolences
on the death of your son.
I suppose I always knew
the truth would out.
I can explain.
I can't wait to hear it.
Diana nearly died.
She needed an operation
and it caused...
The doctor said that she would
never bear another child.
And as for our son, he was weak.
Fighting for his life.
COUGHING
God gives strength
to those that need it.
He gave this one strength
enough for two.
A misbegotten by-blow
destined for adoption.
Your son carries the weight of
destiny on his shoulders.
They seem such fragile shoulders.
Your Grace...
Your Grace? There's no need
for alarm. It's good news.
The Marquess has rallied
and is out of danger.
Would you like to hold your son?
I'm afraid he became poorly
and died during the night.
It's a shame.
There's a waiting list for boys.
At least he won't be mourned.
It's for the best.
You knew, but you told no-one.
We don't expect your
sort to understand.
Centuries of duty and obligation,
destroyed in a generation
by a black sheep named Urquhart.
Did you tell your wife?
That the child she'd prayed for,
the only child she would ever
bear was dead?
Someone else would only have
adopted him. No harm done.
No harm?
A mother who mourned him
day and night.
And a father in prison for kidnap.
Parkin?
Oh, dear God, what have I done?
Nothing.
You've done nothing.
Do you think anyone will pay heed
to these ramblings?
Listen to Nanny, John.
Think of your position.
His position...
..means NOTHING to God.
BABY FUSSES
There, now. Ssh, ssh, ssh...
What must I do?
What any man would do.
I don't defend my actions.
But had I known he was wanted,
I would never have kept silent.
That woman stole my child.
She acted on my behalf.
The responsibility is mine
and mine alone.
I told myself it was for others.
To spare my wife's grief, to...
..safeguard our family name,
but in truth...
..it was my selfish desire for a son
that blinded my integrity.
What's to be done?
I will inform the authorities
and take my punishment
like the honourable man I once was.
And may God forgive me.
That's not in doubt.
The question is, Hannah,
can you find it in your
heart to show mercy?
I lost one son.
You've lost two.
It's punishment enough for any man.
May I say goodbye?
You be good for your parents.
Hmm?
Make them proud.
DOOR CLOSES
MALLORY: The babies were
"accidentally" switched at birth?
Lest there be any doubt, I've
informed the relevant authorities
including the Chief Inspector
and the Home Secretary.
And this has only just come to light
due to the timely intervention
of Father Brown.
Oh, I'm late for Mass.
And Mrs McCarthy will no doubt be
having an apoplexy.
I trust the case is now closed
and Parkin will be released
so that he can spend
Christmas with his wife and...
..and child.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Inspector.
Is everything all right, sir?
The thing about kids is...
..they might
be pains in the backside,
but at least they're your pains
in the backside.
Amen to that.
FOX: So we have a half-strength
choir and no soloist.
On the bright side, there is a
donkey albeit with no passenger.
I assume Our Lady will be
making an appearance?
Yes, yes. Peggy Harrington.
This year's Queen of the May.
Lady Felicia
has just gone to fetch her.
Bad news, I'm afraid.
It seems Peggy received a pair of
roller skates from Father Christmas.
And what has that got to do
with the price of figs?
Where is she?
The Cottage Hospital
with a sprained ankle
and a concussion.
Chin up, Mrs M.
We'll just have to improvise.
I knew you'd do the right thing.
I don't dare hope
for your forgiveness.
When he looked at me,
I saw hatred in his eyes.
I thought it was me.
That I was going mad.
That I was wicked and unnatural
for not loving him.
Now I think he knew.
We both knew.
It was an unforgivable deception.
You did it because
you love me, John.
I won't hate you for that.
Inspector Mallory.
Happy Christmas.
Erm... I wonder if I might
beg a favour?
Shall we make a start?
♪ Once in royal David's city
♪ Stood a lowly cattle shed
♪ Where a mother lay her baby
♪ In a manger for his bed
♪ Mary was that mother mild
♪ Jesus Christ, her little child
♪ He came down to Earth from Heaven
♪ Who is God and Lord of all
♪ And his shelter was a stable
♪ And his cradle was a stall... ♪
And they found Mary and Joseph
and the Infant lying in a manger.
And seeing, they understood the word
that had been spoken to them
concerning this child.
This is the word of the Lord.
ALL: Thanks be to God.
And now, we will stand
and sing hymn number 35.
ORGAN PLAYING
While Shepherds Watched
Are you still unwell?
The doctor came.
I'm not ill, John.
I'm with child.
Around four months he said.
♪ The angel of the Lord came down
♪ And glory shone around
♪ Fear not, said he
♪ For mighty dread... ♪
I am sorry.
Of course you must go.
We feel terrible leaving you alone
on Christmas day.
Oh, don't worry about me.
I'll be fine with a few brandy
cherries and the Queen's speech.
She will not be alone.
Not when there's turkey enough
for ten in the Presbytery.
Gosh. Really?
Yes. You can help me peel
the sprouts.
Of course.
Goodbye, Father,
and thank you for everything.
God be with you both.
Please convey my compliments
to Bishop Reynard and inform him
I've never experienced
a more uplifting Mass.
Well, we aim to please.
They're full of seasonal spirit.
Although I won't be much of
a Santa Claus this year.
Still, it's not all about
presents, is it?
Actually, sir, I did some shopping
myself yesterday
and took the liberty
just in case you didn't get time.
There's a model Spitfire and
one of those music boxes
with the ballerina
and a bottle of Elizabeth Arvon,
which Mrs Goodfellow
is very partial to.
Thank you, Sergeant.
That's... very thoughtful.
You're welcome, Sir.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Goodfellow.
Best be off. Donkey needs feeding.
Would you get a move on?
At this rate,
we'll be eating them raw.
Oh, you really don't know
how to peel a sprout, do you?
There's more than one way
to skin a cat, Mrs M.
Yes, well, the next time I meet
a cat peeling sprouts like that,
I'll make sure... Mrs M.
Another sherry.
Oh! Thank you.
Absent friends.
Happy Christmas, Sid.
Happy Christmas, Sid.
Happy Christmas.
Now, where has that Michael got to?
He went to feed the donkey.
He's nothing but trouble that man.
Are you sure that's where he went?
I don't see any footprints.
Oh. Perhaps he's
a Christmas miracle.
Now you're being ridiculous.
The thing about miracles
is that they do happen.