Father Brown (2013–…): Season 10, Episode 7 - The Show Must Go On - full transcript
"My dear Lady Disdain!
Are you yet still awake?"
"Is it possible disdain should die
"while she hath such meet food to
feed it as Signor Benedick?
"Disdain should..."
Erm...
Ah, disdain would...
Erm, disdain should fall...
"Courtesy itself must
convert to disdain."
Off book already?
Nice understudying, Isabel.
Don't worry, darling.
Yes, don't worry, darling,
you'll get there in the end.
I'm being put off by boozy breath,
Patrick.
Ah, yes, well,
at least I'm capturing the essence.
Hmm?
80-proof essence I'd say.
Perhaps ban your friend's hip
flask from rehearsals?
OK, can we... can we just get on,
cos we're short on cast,
technical help
and we're up against it for time...
And now a prima donna, too.
Because do you know what?
Maybe if your wife had a little
peppy-uppy,
everyone would be better off.
Jeremy.
Unbelievable!
I cannot work like this, Patrick.
Darling... Let's just finish...
No. I need a break. Oh!
CLATTERING Oh! Argh!
Charlie?
Oh, my goodness. Charlie!
I fell.
My leg... I think it's broken.
I think this means you're up,
Isabel.
Or should I say, Beatrice?
Don't you think you're getting me
on that stage.
You know I'm no
good at learning lines.
There are many other
ways that we can help
the Kembleford Players
reach opening night.
It's very kind of you to offer to
help out, Father.
You know, there's a friar
in the play, perhaps you could be
technical adviser.
As a matter of fact, I have already
offered my services to Patrick.
Ah. And I will be playing the friar.
You're going to be acting?
Yes. He insisted I'd be too busy,
I insisted back and convinced him.
Anything for the Players, I said.
Oh, gosh.
It's very real when it's in black
and white, isn't it?
You will be splendid.
Oh, I hope so.
Father.
If this was regular clothes, I
wonder what they wore to parties...
Right, let's try that scene change
one more time, please.
OK, and cue.
Patrick. Hmm?
The cavalry has arrived!
Oh, yes...
Our friar. How wonderful.
Well, it's the least I can do.
I understand that Sergeant
Goodfellow
is straddling several
minor roles.
I am, Father, but they haven't asked
to wear a dress this year,
so that's good!
And this is all in memory of Rose?
A worthy cause.
Thank you, Father.
Millie, this is Brenda,
she's going to be your new props
assistant.
How lovely. Hi, Brenda.
Nice to meet you. I didn't know it
was going to be props.
I thought she were going to put me
in a stupid dress.
Props are much more fun. Catch!
Wait!
Eh? That's brilliant.
It's papier mache.
Don't worry, I'll teach you
everything you need to know.
Can you grab some paints and things?
My darling, Beatrice!
You have returned.
Good morning, Benedick.
OK, so Act 1, Scene 1.
Beatrice and Benedick, please.
And the props people,
one more time.
All right and cue, please.
This is an investment.
Call this number.
Coming!
Terribly sorry.
How are you coping?
Well, it is a literal pain,
but we move on, don't we?
She wouldn't even let me
wait with her at the hospital.
Insisted I come right back here to
continue rehearsals.
Well, Godspeed with your recovery.
Thank you.
You're up now, Father.
Oh.
That's very good.
You're very talented.
FATHER BROWN CLEARS HIS THROAT
"But if all aim but this
be levelled false,
"the supposition of the lady's death
"will quench the wonder of her
infamy."
"Friar, I must entreat your pains,
I think."
Oh, yes! I know this...
"To do what, Signior?"
"To bind me, or undo me,
one of them..."
OK, scene change, scene change,
please!
Patrick. Yep.
Oh. Well.
Oh, Father...
Marvellous.
Marvellous.
It's extravagant. I can't ask him to
do that.
It's not that extravagant.
It is for flowers that are going to
be dead two days later.
And the food's going to be eaten
and the confetti's going to be in
the bin.
Shall we just go to a registry
office instead?!
I'm not saying that...
Excuse me, Father.
Sorry about that.
We have slightly different
ideas about how much a wedding
should cost.
It's a stressful time,
but your joyful union will make it
all seem worthwhile.
I hope so, Father.
Are you all right?
Mm? Your hand?
Oh, yes, thank you.
It passes...
My hand seems to know
when I'm stressed!
Ah, I was just giving Penny the name
of a wonderful florist in town.
Positions, please, Jeremy.
Thank you. Thank you.
Right, are we ready? And...
Excuse me.
Sorry to interrupt. Mr Sandford,
would you kindly accompany me
to the station to answer
a few questions?
Ah, yes, of course, Chief Inspector.
Of course.
Ah... I'm...
I'm so sorry, everyone. So sorry.
Well, your past has caught up
with you at last.
Oh, I think it's about a stolen
motor vehicle
I reported a few months ago,
actually,
but very witty.
You know, it's such a shame you're
not playing Beatrice any more.
Isabel, I've got an investor's
meeting in town about seven,
but why don't you come by this
afternoon, say four?
We can get a few hours'
of rehearsal in.
Oh. Right. Jolly idea.
Yes, yes.
Well, let me get my jacket...
..Inspector.
Erm, do you need me to come along,
Chief Inspector?
Uh, no, you carry on, Sergeant.
Right you are, sir.
Mrs Devine, perhaps you would
consider taking a chaperone
this afternoon?
Just a thought.
Don't look at me,
I'm working on props with Millie.
I'm sure there's no need.
I would be delighted to prompt.
Fine. If that makes everyone happy!
"Here comes Beatrice.
"By this day, she's a fair lady.
"I do spy marks of love in her."
Yes, this way, Mr Sandford.
"Or I must say she is dead,
"and, so, I say...
"..farewell."
Gosh.
Thank you. Thank you.
That's marvellous! Thank you.
Ah, hmm. Dear friar, dear lady,
investors await at
the Astwood Hotel!
I must bid you farewell in earnest.
I'm curious, Jeremy.
What do you help people invest in?
Ah, well, mm-hm!
It's a company... Oh, no, thanks.
..in New York that offers a very
encouraging return on their money.
NEW YORK ACCENT: Now, there is
opportunity everywhere!
Sounds wonderfully exciting.
It is.
You know, when Patrick and I,
we first joined the Players,
there was this mesmerising old
thesp who would anoint himself with
a touch of the Napoleon for courage
before rehearsals.
Well, Patrick and I, we were...
..we were so taken by him that
we had matching flasks made.
Just a shame that Charlie
won't let him use his.
Shall we?
Right.
Well, I can give you a lift home
on my way into town, if you like?
Actually, it's such a nice evening.
Father, if you don't mind,
I'd prefer to walk.
Oh, blast, I've left my playbook.
I shall need it.
We can stroll back tomorrow.
Did you see who that was?
No, I didn't get a proper look.
I could have sworn it was Thomas.
Hello? Thomas?
How very odd.
POP! Oh!
So clever.
And Millie's got really good at it.
She's a fast learner.
Enjoy, you two.
And, Brenda, thank you so much
for offering to help out.
Don't worry about it!
They're so kind to let me use it.
My landlady hates mess.
Well, you did well for yourself,
knowing the Maidlands.
Mrs D says you've only just
moved here, too.
A couple of months ago now.
They sort of took me in.
I, erm, lived with my aunt before.
She raised me and then... she died.
Oh.
Sorry.
No. It's not easy without a mum.
No.
Anyway, Kembleford looked nice.
I checked out the Players
and the Maidlands were there
and that was that.
They were so kind and after
everything they'd been through
with their little girl.
Sorry, what happened?
Oh.
It's not a secret.
They erm...
..they had a baby.
Rose.
She was a few months old
and she died in her cot.
That's awful.
That's got to be
the worst thing ever.
It really is.
I think that's why this show
is so important to them -
raising money for
the children's ward.
Anyway, we should get started.
I'll just clear up my mess.
KNOCKS ON DOOR
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Jeremy?
Oh, my goodness.
Father?
He's dead.
Mrs Devine and I witnessed
Mr Sandford drinking
from the flask yesterday afternoon,
with only the anticipated effect,
so the killer must have poured
the poison into the flask
while he was out.
Looks like weed-killer.
The manufacturers put purple
dye in it to stop accidents,
but you're never going to see
that in a hip flask.
Hmm. I'll check which farmers
use it locally, sir.
Oh!
Mrs Devine?
Last night, when we were leaving,
I saw a figure disappear into the
hedge.
Father Brown didn't see him
as clearly,
but I felt sure it was Thomas.
Thomas Church?
He couldn't do such a thing.
"Men were deceivers ever."
Perhaps overly cynical,
Chief Inspector.
Sadly not in my line of work.
Let's interview Mr Church.
"Men were deceivers..."
That's from Much Ado, isn't it?
It is.
Ever since my school days,
Shakespeare was always a favourite.
Did you know that Thomas Church
had a farming accident
and his hand shakes?
Yes.
No signs of any spills.
Well, could have just wiped it up.
It's still dusty.
Thank you so much, Father.
Mrs Devine.
Must get on.
Chief Inspector...
Chief Inspector! Chief Inspector.
I wonder if the motive for murder
may lie with Mr Sandford's
"occupation".
He was talking about a
company in New York.
I don't believe there is one.
I think he was a snake-oil salesman,
a peddler in false investments.
I was thinking he was a lot of flash
and not much substance, Father.
I wonder, is that why you wished
to question him yesterday?
Come along, Sergeant.
What was the name of
that hotel in town
where Mr Sandford was
meeting his investor?
The Astwood.
Hmm.
Oh, the Chief Inspector received
an anonymous letter
and a newspaper article
about a conman
who fleeced a widow out of all her
money in Oxford six years ago.
That man used an alias by
the name of Jonathan Spicer.
Sergeant!
An anonymous letter?
Thank you, Sergeant.
Coming, sir.
I don't know what to tell you.
Jeremy was my dear friend
since we were boys.
I'll never understand how people who
are larger than life can ever die.
But there we are.
He would have insisted
that the show must go on.
Battered playbook in one hand
and hip flask in the other.
We must somehow replace him,
but for now,
we must continue...
..as our dear Benedick
would have wanted.
And with that in mind,
Act 3, Scene 4, please.
That's Hero and Beatrice.
Sir, Thomas's farm is actually
supplied with that
type of weed-killer.
So we have the method,
but no motive.
Well, sir, I just got
back from the Astwood Hotel.
I took along a photograph of the
Kembleford Players
to show the manager.
He identified Mr Sandford,
but he also identified his
associate.
Help to dress me, good coz,
good Meg, good Ursula.
Very nice. Very nice.
And scene change, please.
Father, Penny's magazine...
..look what's been written...
"Astwood Hotel, 6.30pm tonight."
I saw Jeremy writing that.
Should we talk to Penny?
No.
Thomas first.
May I have a word?
Thomas! Your hand!
Excuse us, Father. We, er...
we need to talk to Thomas.
I think you know why.
It's not what it looks like.
Thomas Church, I am arresting you on
suspicion
of the murder of Jeremy Sandford.
You are not obliged to say anything,
but anything you do say
may be given in evidence.
I love you.
Wait.
My supplier said he'd had
a visit from the police,
so I went to check the weed-killer
that I keep in the shed
and the lid hadn't been
put back on properly.
It spilled on my hand.
How convenient.
And the fact that Mrs Devine saw
you last night about 50 yards
from Jeremy's cottage?
You had a motive for
wanting Sandford dead.
You knew Penny was seeing him.
So you're admitting you knew your
fiancee was meeting Jeremy
in a hotel in town?
Yes...
..but not to be unfaithful.
Then why?
"..and partly to save your life,
"for I was told you were in a
consumption."
"Peace. I will stop your mouth".
Right. Right.
Yeah, OK. Lovely. Lovely.
Thanks, Isabel, that's lovely.
Yeah, no, it's, er, it's good.
Lots... Lots to work with there,
Sergeant.
We open in a week and Sergeant
Goodfellow doesn't seem entirely
comfortable in the role of Benedick.
I know. It's not ideal.
Oh! Splendid work, you two.
Erm, Father,
if you don't think Thomas did it,
do you think maybe Penny did?
She could easily get her
hands on the poison.
So could anyone passing
through the farm.
And Penny was with Jeremy
when the flask was being poisoned.
Well, what do you think?
I can't imagine Penny would
let her own fiance hang.
I completely agree.
Excuse me.
Allow me.
Oh! Thank you, Father.
This is all I'm good for at the
moment, organising the programme.
Hmm.
For the tribute to Jeremy.
Very fitting.
Such good friends.
I hope you're proud of your work
for the children's ward.
Poor Patrick was looking after
Rose that night.
My mother was sick.
I was torn,
but Patrick insisted I went.
He had to telephone me,
to tell me.
Even the shortest life has
a purpose, doesn't it?
It does.
Hmm. Rose Maidland.
Born 12th of May 1948...
..and died November 1st 1948.
You show such strength.
I hope you can find solace in God.
Hmm.
Right. Let's try that one more
time.
Father, Isabel, please.
Actually, Patrick, I need to go
and see Thomas.
If you're going to the police
station, I shall come along.
Oh, excellent.
Well, excuse us.
What... Er...
Won't be long.
Chief Inspector Sullivan thinks that
your motive for murder was jealousy,
that Penny was having
an affair with Jeremy.
Yes.
But I don't believe
that is the case.
Penny was meeting
Jeremy at the hotel
and Jeremy was meeting a client.
I wonder if Penny was
involved in Jeremy's business
and if Jeremy's business
was illegal?
Why else would you keep silent,
if not to protect her?
Penny didn't know it was illegal.
Not at first.
She just wanted to help out
with the cost of the wedding.
He needed her acting skills,
she had to play a satisfied client
to attract future investors.
Then we were sent a letter
in cut-out newspaper print,
saying "beware Benedick",
that he was a conman.
Penny dismissed it, but then when
Chief Inspector Sullivan
showed up at rehearsal
to talk to Jeremy...
She thought she might be next.
She told Jeremy she wanted out,
but he said walking away wasn't
an option,
he needed her at the final meeting.
Is there any evidence against her?
He'd had her sign fake
investment documents.
I understand that Penny
confessing to fraud
might mean a prison
sentence for her,
but your life is at stake.
And telling them about Penny won't
take away my motive for killing him.
It will look like I did it to
protect her,
and even worse, they might think
Penny was my accomplice.
Ah.
Yes, I see.
It could appear that Penny kept
Jeremy away from the cottage
so you could poison the flask.
I did go to the cottage,
but I went to get the papers back
that incriminated her.
Do you still have the papers?
Or the letter?
I burned them.
I didn't want Chief Inspector
Sullivan finding them.
And now I'm going to hang
for something I didn't do.
Thomas, I will do my best to
ensure that that does not happen.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Oh, Isabel.
"Do you not love me?"
Uh...
Excuse me?
"Do you not love me?"
Oh, er...
Erm...
"Troth no, no more than reason."
Ah. That was easy.
The part's yours.
So if you have any problem with
your costume,
Millie and Brenda have kindly
offered to help out
now the props are nearly done.
Penny, I've spoken to Thomas.
I'm doing all I can for him.
Thank you, Father.
Hello, everyone.
Chief Inspector Sullivan has
kindly offered to play Benedick.
Oh, that's wonderful news!
Clearly not to everyone's taste.
Very decent of you.
Can you learn all that
Shakespeare in a week?
I have one of those memories.
It's what makes me
such a fine policeman.
You do know you've arrested
the wrong person?
Tell me who did it, then, Father.
Miss Palmer.
May I?
"Masters, it is proved already
that you are little better than
"false knaves, and it will go near
to be thought shortly.
"How answer you for yourselves?"
Not guilty!
Oh, Father. Caught me at it.
Must be a relief, not having to
learn all of Benedick's lines?
Yes. Yes.
Huge relief, Father.
You are still invaluable, Sergeant.
Might I trouble you to show me the
newspaper article
that arrived with the
anonymous letter?
It being in the public
domain, of course.
And I must say, you delivered
those lines with gusto!
Ladies.
May I have a word with Millie?
Yeah. No problem.
I need you to be honest with me,
because Thomas's life
may depend upon it.
Was it you that sent the
anonymous letters about Jeremy?
You knew about his
criminal dealings?
Yes.
You wanted to warn people.
Yes.
Brenda said that you were
raised by your aunt.
Was she one of his victims?
He said he'd help her
invest her life savings.
She never got over the shock.
I'm sorry.
He worked with another man
to make it look legitimate.
The newspaper article said that he
called himself Jonathan Spicer.
My aunt said that he was always
swigging from a hip flask
with those initials on it,
talking about his days in amateur
dramatics in the Cotswolds.
I'd read that conmen quite often
talk about things
from their actual lives
and I found Kembleford Players
and I saw the name
Jeremy Sandford, so...
The same initials.
So, you approached him
about investments?
I was going to draw him out.
I told him I had money to invest
and I thought he might
lead me to his accomplice.
But you found out
he was using Penny.
She seemed so decent.
Hmm.
I sent a letter to
Thomas to warn him
and one to the police to make
sure no-one else got hurt
and the third... A third?
..to the Maidlands.
I thought they should know.
Where's my friar?
Father Brown.
I must return.
Thank you, Millie.
"Holy rites" speech, please, Father.
Oh, yes.
All this amazement, can I qualify,
when that the holy rites are ended,
I'll tell you largely of
fair Hero's death...
Could we just bring
it down a little bit?
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
SMASHING
Oh. Can anything else go wrong?
Can we fix that, please?
Let's take two minutes, everyone.
Brenda said you spoke to Millie.
I did.
She is responsible for the anonymous
letters warning about Jeremy.
Her aunt was a victim of his.
Poor girl.
She also sent one to
Patrick and Charlie.
Why would they not say anything?
I was thinking exactly
the same thing myself.
I could understand Patrick not
saying anything -
keeping quiet to save his friend -
but if Charlie received a
letter denouncing Jeremy,
she'd have told the world.
Mm-hm.
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
Oh, sir.
Sergeant?
All right, let's check the
photographs at the crime scene,
just to be sure. Uh, sir,
you might want to, erm...
Ah, yes. Good point.
Sorry, everyone, sorry, Patrick.
Urgent police business.
Back as soon as possible.
Sergeant Goodfellow, you're supposed
to be with us this afternoon.
I'm really sorry, Patrick.
Millie, did you send another
letter to the police station?
Another letter?
No, why would I?
No. I thought not.
Thank you.
This is going to be a disaster!
No, I wouldn't say that.
But there is a kiss.
Beatrice and Benedick.
We haven't even rehearsed the scene!
Mrs Devine, we've just
got the programme
and look at you!
Oh, my goodness.
Perhaps not the best
time to see that.
Or this.
What a shame, now that
we know what we know.
Well, what is it, Father?
How curious.
Ah, great! We have light.
If thou dost love,
my kindness shall incite thee to
bind up our loves in a holy band.
For others say thou dost deserve,
and I believe it better
than reportingly.
Very good. Very good.
OK, so, Hero, Prince Claudio,
on stage, please.
Patrick, do you have a moment?
Father, I'm rather in
the middle of it here.
Yes, I understand and
I do apologise...
Sorry to interrupt.
Could we have a word,
Mr Maidland? In private.
Right. Darling, can you take over?
Mm-hm.
You have a hip flask.
Can I see it please?
My... my hip flask?
Can't this wait until
after the run-through?
It's bad enough that
you two aren't on stage.
It's a murder investigation,
Mr Maidland.
From the crime scene.
The monogram.
It's on the wrong side of the flask.
I think Mr Sandford's flask
was switched with yours
and yours contained the poison.
What is it?
It's fine. It's fine, darling.
Are you suggesting that
I poisoned my best friend?
Why would I do that?
According to the
Oxford constabulary,
Mr Sandford worked
with an accomplice
for his fraudulent business
dealings, a person he could trust.
And you were living in Oxford
at that time with your wife and...
..and baby daughter.
Well, yes. And we've checked
Mr Sandford's bank statements.
We know you've been depositing
money into his account
since you returned to Kembleford,
which could be seen as blackmail.
I played a role in Oxford
and, yes, I've been helping him out
since he came back to Kembleford,
but I didn't kill him.
And I swear, I'd show you the
damned flask if I knew where it was.
I haven't seen it for years.
I'm sorry.
I've seen it.
It's in the glove box of the car.
You've seen it?
With a lot of other junk.
If there's some ridiculous
suggestion you're involved in this,
it will help clear your name,
won't it?
If you wouldn't mind, Mr Maidland?
Sure. I'm parked round the back.
I can't believe this.
Let me help you.
Thank you, Father.
The idea that Patrick
would be involved.
Indeed.
Although it is now going pretty much
the way you'd planned it.
As it what?
It was you who sent the letter
to the police implicating Patrick,
wasn't it, Charlie?
This is nonsense.
Did you know that it was Millie
who sent you and Patrick
the anonymous letter with
the newspaper cutting?
Because it was from the
article that you learned
about Jeremy's scam in Oxford
and realised that Patrick
was involved in it.
It was then, I think,
that you decided to kill Jeremy
and frame Patrick for his murder.
You have been doing this
far too long, Father.
Is everyone a suspect to you?
You seem to be forgetting
the crater in your argument -
I can barely sit down,
ugh, without help.
Of course.
Do you think I somehow rolled myself
into Jeremy's cottage that
night to poison him?
Not possible with a broken leg.
Thank you.
But your leg isn't broken, is it?
Father!
We only have your word for it.
You insisted Patrick
returned to the rehearsal.
It's papier mache.
It's light.
Deceptive.
Perfect for theatrical props,
as you taught Millie...
..in your workshop...
..in your house.
You'd already obtained the
weed-killer from Thomas's farm.
You went to the engravers
and had the initials "JS"
inscribed on Patrick's previously
blank identical flask.
I thought it was very clever of you
to make the deliberate mistake
with the monogram placement.
Jeremy would have been
too drunk to notice,
but sooner or later, it would
have come to someone's attention,
especially as you were so careful
to place a photograph
in the programme
showing Jeremy with the right flask.
You must have been increasingly
frustrated with Thomas being blamed,
so you took a leaf
out of Millie's book
and sent the police
an anonymous letter...
..drawing their
attention to the flask.
You know, it wasn't because of
the fraud he got involved in.
Patrick was a fool to agree to that,
but it wasn't because of that.
No.
I know.
It was the day you were
visiting your sick mother.
The day Jeremy needed
Patrick's help in Oxford
to dupe an old lady
out of her life savings,
the day Patrick left Rose asleep.
I knew Jeremy would have lied to him
about how long it was going to take.
Patrick could never say no to him.
He was probably gone for hours.
You have constantly asked yourself
if there was anything you could
have done to prevent it.
There wasn't.
It was out of your hands.
But what happens next
to Patrick isn't.
Tell the truth, Charlie,
and God will forgive you.
Bag this as evidence,
would you, Sergeant?
Mm-hm.
What's going on?
What's happened to your leg?
Darling?
I killed Jeremy.
What?
He took you away from Rose
when she needed you
and she died.
You killed him?
And you wanted me blamed for it?
The accomplice in the
newspaper article...
..I suddenly realised
that must be you.
You weren't there when
we lost her, were you?
No.
I was so angry, Patrick.
You left Rose alone to help him.
She might have needed you.
She might have been crying,
waiting for you to comfort her...
..to just pick her up.
I wasn't there for her.
You were meant to be.
You let that man manipulate you,
like everyone else.
I'm sorry.
When I realised what you'd done,
I stopped having any
feelings for you.
If you went to prison
for killing Jeremy,
well, that was fair.
Charlie. But at least you cared.
He'd never shown one moment of
regret about what happened to Rose.
And then he came
back into our lives,
put himself in the
middle of the show
we were putting on in her memory?
No.
He was a cancer, Patrick.
He brought pain to other people
and I had to make him pay.
If you only knew how much
I wish I could go back.
I never should have left her.
My mother, she could have coped,
but Rose...
..Rose needed me.
My little girl...
my little girl needed me!
They will be lenient with her,
won't they, Father?
It would be a hard-hearted judge
who would discount the anguish
of a mother grieving for her baby.
Patrick...
..I think it's time you showed what
the Kembleford Players are made of.
And if all aim but
this be levelled false,
the supposition of the lady's death
will quench the
wonder of her infamy.
Signor Leonato,
let the friar advise you.
LAUGHTER
Ah, a miracle!
Here's our own hands
against our hearts.
Come, I will have thee, but by
this light, I take thee for pity.
I would not deny you,
but by this good day,
I yield upon great persuasion,
and partly to save your life,
for I was told you
were in a consumption.
Peace! I will stop your mouth.
CROWD: Ooooh.
CHUCKLING
Ahem-hem.
APPLAUSE
Are you yet still awake?"
"Is it possible disdain should die
"while she hath such meet food to
feed it as Signor Benedick?
"Disdain should..."
Erm...
Ah, disdain would...
Erm, disdain should fall...
"Courtesy itself must
convert to disdain."
Off book already?
Nice understudying, Isabel.
Don't worry, darling.
Yes, don't worry, darling,
you'll get there in the end.
I'm being put off by boozy breath,
Patrick.
Ah, yes, well,
at least I'm capturing the essence.
Hmm?
80-proof essence I'd say.
Perhaps ban your friend's hip
flask from rehearsals?
OK, can we... can we just get on,
cos we're short on cast,
technical help
and we're up against it for time...
And now a prima donna, too.
Because do you know what?
Maybe if your wife had a little
peppy-uppy,
everyone would be better off.
Jeremy.
Unbelievable!
I cannot work like this, Patrick.
Darling... Let's just finish...
No. I need a break. Oh!
CLATTERING Oh! Argh!
Charlie?
Oh, my goodness. Charlie!
I fell.
My leg... I think it's broken.
I think this means you're up,
Isabel.
Or should I say, Beatrice?
Don't you think you're getting me
on that stage.
You know I'm no
good at learning lines.
There are many other
ways that we can help
the Kembleford Players
reach opening night.
It's very kind of you to offer to
help out, Father.
You know, there's a friar
in the play, perhaps you could be
technical adviser.
As a matter of fact, I have already
offered my services to Patrick.
Ah. And I will be playing the friar.
You're going to be acting?
Yes. He insisted I'd be too busy,
I insisted back and convinced him.
Anything for the Players, I said.
Oh, gosh.
It's very real when it's in black
and white, isn't it?
You will be splendid.
Oh, I hope so.
Father.
If this was regular clothes, I
wonder what they wore to parties...
Right, let's try that scene change
one more time, please.
OK, and cue.
Patrick. Hmm?
The cavalry has arrived!
Oh, yes...
Our friar. How wonderful.
Well, it's the least I can do.
I understand that Sergeant
Goodfellow
is straddling several
minor roles.
I am, Father, but they haven't asked
to wear a dress this year,
so that's good!
And this is all in memory of Rose?
A worthy cause.
Thank you, Father.
Millie, this is Brenda,
she's going to be your new props
assistant.
How lovely. Hi, Brenda.
Nice to meet you. I didn't know it
was going to be props.
I thought she were going to put me
in a stupid dress.
Props are much more fun. Catch!
Wait!
Eh? That's brilliant.
It's papier mache.
Don't worry, I'll teach you
everything you need to know.
Can you grab some paints and things?
My darling, Beatrice!
You have returned.
Good morning, Benedick.
OK, so Act 1, Scene 1.
Beatrice and Benedick, please.
And the props people,
one more time.
All right and cue, please.
This is an investment.
Call this number.
Coming!
Terribly sorry.
How are you coping?
Well, it is a literal pain,
but we move on, don't we?
She wouldn't even let me
wait with her at the hospital.
Insisted I come right back here to
continue rehearsals.
Well, Godspeed with your recovery.
Thank you.
You're up now, Father.
Oh.
That's very good.
You're very talented.
FATHER BROWN CLEARS HIS THROAT
"But if all aim but this
be levelled false,
"the supposition of the lady's death
"will quench the wonder of her
infamy."
"Friar, I must entreat your pains,
I think."
Oh, yes! I know this...
"To do what, Signior?"
"To bind me, or undo me,
one of them..."
OK, scene change, scene change,
please!
Patrick. Yep.
Oh. Well.
Oh, Father...
Marvellous.
Marvellous.
It's extravagant. I can't ask him to
do that.
It's not that extravagant.
It is for flowers that are going to
be dead two days later.
And the food's going to be eaten
and the confetti's going to be in
the bin.
Shall we just go to a registry
office instead?!
I'm not saying that...
Excuse me, Father.
Sorry about that.
We have slightly different
ideas about how much a wedding
should cost.
It's a stressful time,
but your joyful union will make it
all seem worthwhile.
I hope so, Father.
Are you all right?
Mm? Your hand?
Oh, yes, thank you.
It passes...
My hand seems to know
when I'm stressed!
Ah, I was just giving Penny the name
of a wonderful florist in town.
Positions, please, Jeremy.
Thank you. Thank you.
Right, are we ready? And...
Excuse me.
Sorry to interrupt. Mr Sandford,
would you kindly accompany me
to the station to answer
a few questions?
Ah, yes, of course, Chief Inspector.
Of course.
Ah... I'm...
I'm so sorry, everyone. So sorry.
Well, your past has caught up
with you at last.
Oh, I think it's about a stolen
motor vehicle
I reported a few months ago,
actually,
but very witty.
You know, it's such a shame you're
not playing Beatrice any more.
Isabel, I've got an investor's
meeting in town about seven,
but why don't you come by this
afternoon, say four?
We can get a few hours'
of rehearsal in.
Oh. Right. Jolly idea.
Yes, yes.
Well, let me get my jacket...
..Inspector.
Erm, do you need me to come along,
Chief Inspector?
Uh, no, you carry on, Sergeant.
Right you are, sir.
Mrs Devine, perhaps you would
consider taking a chaperone
this afternoon?
Just a thought.
Don't look at me,
I'm working on props with Millie.
I'm sure there's no need.
I would be delighted to prompt.
Fine. If that makes everyone happy!
"Here comes Beatrice.
"By this day, she's a fair lady.
"I do spy marks of love in her."
Yes, this way, Mr Sandford.
"Or I must say she is dead,
"and, so, I say...
"..farewell."
Gosh.
Thank you. Thank you.
That's marvellous! Thank you.
Ah, hmm. Dear friar, dear lady,
investors await at
the Astwood Hotel!
I must bid you farewell in earnest.
I'm curious, Jeremy.
What do you help people invest in?
Ah, well, mm-hm!
It's a company... Oh, no, thanks.
..in New York that offers a very
encouraging return on their money.
NEW YORK ACCENT: Now, there is
opportunity everywhere!
Sounds wonderfully exciting.
It is.
You know, when Patrick and I,
we first joined the Players,
there was this mesmerising old
thesp who would anoint himself with
a touch of the Napoleon for courage
before rehearsals.
Well, Patrick and I, we were...
..we were so taken by him that
we had matching flasks made.
Just a shame that Charlie
won't let him use his.
Shall we?
Right.
Well, I can give you a lift home
on my way into town, if you like?
Actually, it's such a nice evening.
Father, if you don't mind,
I'd prefer to walk.
Oh, blast, I've left my playbook.
I shall need it.
We can stroll back tomorrow.
Did you see who that was?
No, I didn't get a proper look.
I could have sworn it was Thomas.
Hello? Thomas?
How very odd.
POP! Oh!
So clever.
And Millie's got really good at it.
She's a fast learner.
Enjoy, you two.
And, Brenda, thank you so much
for offering to help out.
Don't worry about it!
They're so kind to let me use it.
My landlady hates mess.
Well, you did well for yourself,
knowing the Maidlands.
Mrs D says you've only just
moved here, too.
A couple of months ago now.
They sort of took me in.
I, erm, lived with my aunt before.
She raised me and then... she died.
Oh.
Sorry.
No. It's not easy without a mum.
No.
Anyway, Kembleford looked nice.
I checked out the Players
and the Maidlands were there
and that was that.
They were so kind and after
everything they'd been through
with their little girl.
Sorry, what happened?
Oh.
It's not a secret.
They erm...
..they had a baby.
Rose.
She was a few months old
and she died in her cot.
That's awful.
That's got to be
the worst thing ever.
It really is.
I think that's why this show
is so important to them -
raising money for
the children's ward.
Anyway, we should get started.
I'll just clear up my mess.
KNOCKS ON DOOR
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Jeremy?
Oh, my goodness.
Father?
He's dead.
Mrs Devine and I witnessed
Mr Sandford drinking
from the flask yesterday afternoon,
with only the anticipated effect,
so the killer must have poured
the poison into the flask
while he was out.
Looks like weed-killer.
The manufacturers put purple
dye in it to stop accidents,
but you're never going to see
that in a hip flask.
Hmm. I'll check which farmers
use it locally, sir.
Oh!
Mrs Devine?
Last night, when we were leaving,
I saw a figure disappear into the
hedge.
Father Brown didn't see him
as clearly,
but I felt sure it was Thomas.
Thomas Church?
He couldn't do such a thing.
"Men were deceivers ever."
Perhaps overly cynical,
Chief Inspector.
Sadly not in my line of work.
Let's interview Mr Church.
"Men were deceivers..."
That's from Much Ado, isn't it?
It is.
Ever since my school days,
Shakespeare was always a favourite.
Did you know that Thomas Church
had a farming accident
and his hand shakes?
Yes.
No signs of any spills.
Well, could have just wiped it up.
It's still dusty.
Thank you so much, Father.
Mrs Devine.
Must get on.
Chief Inspector...
Chief Inspector! Chief Inspector.
I wonder if the motive for murder
may lie with Mr Sandford's
"occupation".
He was talking about a
company in New York.
I don't believe there is one.
I think he was a snake-oil salesman,
a peddler in false investments.
I was thinking he was a lot of flash
and not much substance, Father.
I wonder, is that why you wished
to question him yesterday?
Come along, Sergeant.
What was the name of
that hotel in town
where Mr Sandford was
meeting his investor?
The Astwood.
Hmm.
Oh, the Chief Inspector received
an anonymous letter
and a newspaper article
about a conman
who fleeced a widow out of all her
money in Oxford six years ago.
That man used an alias by
the name of Jonathan Spicer.
Sergeant!
An anonymous letter?
Thank you, Sergeant.
Coming, sir.
I don't know what to tell you.
Jeremy was my dear friend
since we were boys.
I'll never understand how people who
are larger than life can ever die.
But there we are.
He would have insisted
that the show must go on.
Battered playbook in one hand
and hip flask in the other.
We must somehow replace him,
but for now,
we must continue...
..as our dear Benedick
would have wanted.
And with that in mind,
Act 3, Scene 4, please.
That's Hero and Beatrice.
Sir, Thomas's farm is actually
supplied with that
type of weed-killer.
So we have the method,
but no motive.
Well, sir, I just got
back from the Astwood Hotel.
I took along a photograph of the
Kembleford Players
to show the manager.
He identified Mr Sandford,
but he also identified his
associate.
Help to dress me, good coz,
good Meg, good Ursula.
Very nice. Very nice.
And scene change, please.
Father, Penny's magazine...
..look what's been written...
"Astwood Hotel, 6.30pm tonight."
I saw Jeremy writing that.
Should we talk to Penny?
No.
Thomas first.
May I have a word?
Thomas! Your hand!
Excuse us, Father. We, er...
we need to talk to Thomas.
I think you know why.
It's not what it looks like.
Thomas Church, I am arresting you on
suspicion
of the murder of Jeremy Sandford.
You are not obliged to say anything,
but anything you do say
may be given in evidence.
I love you.
Wait.
My supplier said he'd had
a visit from the police,
so I went to check the weed-killer
that I keep in the shed
and the lid hadn't been
put back on properly.
It spilled on my hand.
How convenient.
And the fact that Mrs Devine saw
you last night about 50 yards
from Jeremy's cottage?
You had a motive for
wanting Sandford dead.
You knew Penny was seeing him.
So you're admitting you knew your
fiancee was meeting Jeremy
in a hotel in town?
Yes...
..but not to be unfaithful.
Then why?
"..and partly to save your life,
"for I was told you were in a
consumption."
"Peace. I will stop your mouth".
Right. Right.
Yeah, OK. Lovely. Lovely.
Thanks, Isabel, that's lovely.
Yeah, no, it's, er, it's good.
Lots... Lots to work with there,
Sergeant.
We open in a week and Sergeant
Goodfellow doesn't seem entirely
comfortable in the role of Benedick.
I know. It's not ideal.
Oh! Splendid work, you two.
Erm, Father,
if you don't think Thomas did it,
do you think maybe Penny did?
She could easily get her
hands on the poison.
So could anyone passing
through the farm.
And Penny was with Jeremy
when the flask was being poisoned.
Well, what do you think?
I can't imagine Penny would
let her own fiance hang.
I completely agree.
Excuse me.
Allow me.
Oh! Thank you, Father.
This is all I'm good for at the
moment, organising the programme.
Hmm.
For the tribute to Jeremy.
Very fitting.
Such good friends.
I hope you're proud of your work
for the children's ward.
Poor Patrick was looking after
Rose that night.
My mother was sick.
I was torn,
but Patrick insisted I went.
He had to telephone me,
to tell me.
Even the shortest life has
a purpose, doesn't it?
It does.
Hmm. Rose Maidland.
Born 12th of May 1948...
..and died November 1st 1948.
You show such strength.
I hope you can find solace in God.
Hmm.
Right. Let's try that one more
time.
Father, Isabel, please.
Actually, Patrick, I need to go
and see Thomas.
If you're going to the police
station, I shall come along.
Oh, excellent.
Well, excuse us.
What... Er...
Won't be long.
Chief Inspector Sullivan thinks that
your motive for murder was jealousy,
that Penny was having
an affair with Jeremy.
Yes.
But I don't believe
that is the case.
Penny was meeting
Jeremy at the hotel
and Jeremy was meeting a client.
I wonder if Penny was
involved in Jeremy's business
and if Jeremy's business
was illegal?
Why else would you keep silent,
if not to protect her?
Penny didn't know it was illegal.
Not at first.
She just wanted to help out
with the cost of the wedding.
He needed her acting skills,
she had to play a satisfied client
to attract future investors.
Then we were sent a letter
in cut-out newspaper print,
saying "beware Benedick",
that he was a conman.
Penny dismissed it, but then when
Chief Inspector Sullivan
showed up at rehearsal
to talk to Jeremy...
She thought she might be next.
She told Jeremy she wanted out,
but he said walking away wasn't
an option,
he needed her at the final meeting.
Is there any evidence against her?
He'd had her sign fake
investment documents.
I understand that Penny
confessing to fraud
might mean a prison
sentence for her,
but your life is at stake.
And telling them about Penny won't
take away my motive for killing him.
It will look like I did it to
protect her,
and even worse, they might think
Penny was my accomplice.
Ah.
Yes, I see.
It could appear that Penny kept
Jeremy away from the cottage
so you could poison the flask.
I did go to the cottage,
but I went to get the papers back
that incriminated her.
Do you still have the papers?
Or the letter?
I burned them.
I didn't want Chief Inspector
Sullivan finding them.
And now I'm going to hang
for something I didn't do.
Thomas, I will do my best to
ensure that that does not happen.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Oh, Isabel.
"Do you not love me?"
Uh...
Excuse me?
"Do you not love me?"
Oh, er...
Erm...
"Troth no, no more than reason."
Ah. That was easy.
The part's yours.
So if you have any problem with
your costume,
Millie and Brenda have kindly
offered to help out
now the props are nearly done.
Penny, I've spoken to Thomas.
I'm doing all I can for him.
Thank you, Father.
Hello, everyone.
Chief Inspector Sullivan has
kindly offered to play Benedick.
Oh, that's wonderful news!
Clearly not to everyone's taste.
Very decent of you.
Can you learn all that
Shakespeare in a week?
I have one of those memories.
It's what makes me
such a fine policeman.
You do know you've arrested
the wrong person?
Tell me who did it, then, Father.
Miss Palmer.
May I?
"Masters, it is proved already
that you are little better than
"false knaves, and it will go near
to be thought shortly.
"How answer you for yourselves?"
Not guilty!
Oh, Father. Caught me at it.
Must be a relief, not having to
learn all of Benedick's lines?
Yes. Yes.
Huge relief, Father.
You are still invaluable, Sergeant.
Might I trouble you to show me the
newspaper article
that arrived with the
anonymous letter?
It being in the public
domain, of course.
And I must say, you delivered
those lines with gusto!
Ladies.
May I have a word with Millie?
Yeah. No problem.
I need you to be honest with me,
because Thomas's life
may depend upon it.
Was it you that sent the
anonymous letters about Jeremy?
You knew about his
criminal dealings?
Yes.
You wanted to warn people.
Yes.
Brenda said that you were
raised by your aunt.
Was she one of his victims?
He said he'd help her
invest her life savings.
She never got over the shock.
I'm sorry.
He worked with another man
to make it look legitimate.
The newspaper article said that he
called himself Jonathan Spicer.
My aunt said that he was always
swigging from a hip flask
with those initials on it,
talking about his days in amateur
dramatics in the Cotswolds.
I'd read that conmen quite often
talk about things
from their actual lives
and I found Kembleford Players
and I saw the name
Jeremy Sandford, so...
The same initials.
So, you approached him
about investments?
I was going to draw him out.
I told him I had money to invest
and I thought he might
lead me to his accomplice.
But you found out
he was using Penny.
She seemed so decent.
Hmm.
I sent a letter to
Thomas to warn him
and one to the police to make
sure no-one else got hurt
and the third... A third?
..to the Maidlands.
I thought they should know.
Where's my friar?
Father Brown.
I must return.
Thank you, Millie.
"Holy rites" speech, please, Father.
Oh, yes.
All this amazement, can I qualify,
when that the holy rites are ended,
I'll tell you largely of
fair Hero's death...
Could we just bring
it down a little bit?
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING
SMASHING
Oh. Can anything else go wrong?
Can we fix that, please?
Let's take two minutes, everyone.
Brenda said you spoke to Millie.
I did.
She is responsible for the anonymous
letters warning about Jeremy.
Her aunt was a victim of his.
Poor girl.
She also sent one to
Patrick and Charlie.
Why would they not say anything?
I was thinking exactly
the same thing myself.
I could understand Patrick not
saying anything -
keeping quiet to save his friend -
but if Charlie received a
letter denouncing Jeremy,
she'd have told the world.
Mm-hm.
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
Oh, sir.
Sergeant?
All right, let's check the
photographs at the crime scene,
just to be sure. Uh, sir,
you might want to, erm...
Ah, yes. Good point.
Sorry, everyone, sorry, Patrick.
Urgent police business.
Back as soon as possible.
Sergeant Goodfellow, you're supposed
to be with us this afternoon.
I'm really sorry, Patrick.
Millie, did you send another
letter to the police station?
Another letter?
No, why would I?
No. I thought not.
Thank you.
This is going to be a disaster!
No, I wouldn't say that.
But there is a kiss.
Beatrice and Benedick.
We haven't even rehearsed the scene!
Mrs Devine, we've just
got the programme
and look at you!
Oh, my goodness.
Perhaps not the best
time to see that.
Or this.
What a shame, now that
we know what we know.
Well, what is it, Father?
How curious.
Ah, great! We have light.
If thou dost love,
my kindness shall incite thee to
bind up our loves in a holy band.
For others say thou dost deserve,
and I believe it better
than reportingly.
Very good. Very good.
OK, so, Hero, Prince Claudio,
on stage, please.
Patrick, do you have a moment?
Father, I'm rather in
the middle of it here.
Yes, I understand and
I do apologise...
Sorry to interrupt.
Could we have a word,
Mr Maidland? In private.
Right. Darling, can you take over?
Mm-hm.
You have a hip flask.
Can I see it please?
My... my hip flask?
Can't this wait until
after the run-through?
It's bad enough that
you two aren't on stage.
It's a murder investigation,
Mr Maidland.
From the crime scene.
The monogram.
It's on the wrong side of the flask.
I think Mr Sandford's flask
was switched with yours
and yours contained the poison.
What is it?
It's fine. It's fine, darling.
Are you suggesting that
I poisoned my best friend?
Why would I do that?
According to the
Oxford constabulary,
Mr Sandford worked
with an accomplice
for his fraudulent business
dealings, a person he could trust.
And you were living in Oxford
at that time with your wife and...
..and baby daughter.
Well, yes. And we've checked
Mr Sandford's bank statements.
We know you've been depositing
money into his account
since you returned to Kembleford,
which could be seen as blackmail.
I played a role in Oxford
and, yes, I've been helping him out
since he came back to Kembleford,
but I didn't kill him.
And I swear, I'd show you the
damned flask if I knew where it was.
I haven't seen it for years.
I'm sorry.
I've seen it.
It's in the glove box of the car.
You've seen it?
With a lot of other junk.
If there's some ridiculous
suggestion you're involved in this,
it will help clear your name,
won't it?
If you wouldn't mind, Mr Maidland?
Sure. I'm parked round the back.
I can't believe this.
Let me help you.
Thank you, Father.
The idea that Patrick
would be involved.
Indeed.
Although it is now going pretty much
the way you'd planned it.
As it what?
It was you who sent the letter
to the police implicating Patrick,
wasn't it, Charlie?
This is nonsense.
Did you know that it was Millie
who sent you and Patrick
the anonymous letter with
the newspaper cutting?
Because it was from the
article that you learned
about Jeremy's scam in Oxford
and realised that Patrick
was involved in it.
It was then, I think,
that you decided to kill Jeremy
and frame Patrick for his murder.
You have been doing this
far too long, Father.
Is everyone a suspect to you?
You seem to be forgetting
the crater in your argument -
I can barely sit down,
ugh, without help.
Of course.
Do you think I somehow rolled myself
into Jeremy's cottage that
night to poison him?
Not possible with a broken leg.
Thank you.
But your leg isn't broken, is it?
Father!
We only have your word for it.
You insisted Patrick
returned to the rehearsal.
It's papier mache.
It's light.
Deceptive.
Perfect for theatrical props,
as you taught Millie...
..in your workshop...
..in your house.
You'd already obtained the
weed-killer from Thomas's farm.
You went to the engravers
and had the initials "JS"
inscribed on Patrick's previously
blank identical flask.
I thought it was very clever of you
to make the deliberate mistake
with the monogram placement.
Jeremy would have been
too drunk to notice,
but sooner or later, it would
have come to someone's attention,
especially as you were so careful
to place a photograph
in the programme
showing Jeremy with the right flask.
You must have been increasingly
frustrated with Thomas being blamed,
so you took a leaf
out of Millie's book
and sent the police
an anonymous letter...
..drawing their
attention to the flask.
You know, it wasn't because of
the fraud he got involved in.
Patrick was a fool to agree to that,
but it wasn't because of that.
No.
I know.
It was the day you were
visiting your sick mother.
The day Jeremy needed
Patrick's help in Oxford
to dupe an old lady
out of her life savings,
the day Patrick left Rose asleep.
I knew Jeremy would have lied to him
about how long it was going to take.
Patrick could never say no to him.
He was probably gone for hours.
You have constantly asked yourself
if there was anything you could
have done to prevent it.
There wasn't.
It was out of your hands.
But what happens next
to Patrick isn't.
Tell the truth, Charlie,
and God will forgive you.
Bag this as evidence,
would you, Sergeant?
Mm-hm.
What's going on?
What's happened to your leg?
Darling?
I killed Jeremy.
What?
He took you away from Rose
when she needed you
and she died.
You killed him?
And you wanted me blamed for it?
The accomplice in the
newspaper article...
..I suddenly realised
that must be you.
You weren't there when
we lost her, were you?
No.
I was so angry, Patrick.
You left Rose alone to help him.
She might have needed you.
She might have been crying,
waiting for you to comfort her...
..to just pick her up.
I wasn't there for her.
You were meant to be.
You let that man manipulate you,
like everyone else.
I'm sorry.
When I realised what you'd done,
I stopped having any
feelings for you.
If you went to prison
for killing Jeremy,
well, that was fair.
Charlie. But at least you cared.
He'd never shown one moment of
regret about what happened to Rose.
And then he came
back into our lives,
put himself in the
middle of the show
we were putting on in her memory?
No.
He was a cancer, Patrick.
He brought pain to other people
and I had to make him pay.
If you only knew how much
I wish I could go back.
I never should have left her.
My mother, she could have coped,
but Rose...
..Rose needed me.
My little girl...
my little girl needed me!
They will be lenient with her,
won't they, Father?
It would be a hard-hearted judge
who would discount the anguish
of a mother grieving for her baby.
Patrick...
..I think it's time you showed what
the Kembleford Players are made of.
And if all aim but
this be levelled false,
the supposition of the lady's death
will quench the
wonder of her infamy.
Signor Leonato,
let the friar advise you.
LAUGHTER
Ah, a miracle!
Here's our own hands
against our hearts.
Come, I will have thee, but by
this light, I take thee for pity.
I would not deny you,
but by this good day,
I yield upon great persuasion,
and partly to save your life,
for I was told you
were in a consumption.
Peace! I will stop your mouth.
CROWD: Ooooh.
CHUCKLING
Ahem-hem.
APPLAUSE