Father Brown (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - The Mayor and the Magician - full transcript

Although the council may
have its political differences,

I know that we are united
in our contrition...

Conviction.

That in order to tackle
the issues laid out in the...

Beverage sounds a bit pompous.
Can't I just say drink?

You could, if you weren't
talking about the economist

William Beveridge and the report
which inspired the welfare state.

So what do you think?
Do I look the part?

It looked better on Mummy.

Have you finished your chores?

Found this under your bed.



Silly me. I've been looking
everywhere for that.

You only ever wear pearls.

It's a leaving present. For Matilda.

She handed in her notice last week.

You never said.

Why would I? It's got
nothing to do with you.

She's been working for you
for six years.

And hands in her notice right after
taking a fortnight's holiday.

What was it doing under our bed?

Must have fallen out of my pocket.

Why isn't it in a box?

Will you stop asking questions?

No, no, not south-facing,
the goldfish will overheat.

Well, don't just stand there.



Have you forgotten the mayor
will be gracing us

with his presence
in less than an hour?

How can we forget when you
remind us every five minute?

I hope that humbug in your mouth
is not one you've counted already.

What do you take me for?

What have we got here?

Faworki. Polish pastry.
We call it angel hair.

Tentacles of Leviathan, more like.

You see, that's what you get when
you support exotic causes, Father.

Polish primary school, indeed!

Father, do you know this mayor?

No, but his wife's quite charming.

Does a lot for charity. Oh.
Exceptionally clever woman.

When he will start building school?

We're only at the fundraising stage.

But the men from his office
measured the whole camp.

So? How many?

How many humbugs in the jar?

Morning, Matilda.

Mr Mayor.

You're fired, by the way.
As of tomorrow.

Why she couldn't just dress up as
a princess like other girls her age.

You know I can't award you
first prize.

I have to give it to an orphan,

or some other unfortunate.
Will you make enquiries?

How was your holiday?

Yes, good, thank you, yes.

Margate. Lovely.

Aren't you going to open it?

A token of my appreciation
for all your hard work.

I don't think she likes it.
I can't say I blame her.

It's very cheap and tacky.

Really? And again?

Very beautiful dress, Lady Felicia.

Oh, would you mind?

Very expensive.

Thank you so much.

Your estate borders
the Polish camp, doesn't it?

Quite possibly. Our estate's
rather sprawling. Why do you ask?

Father. Ah. Edwin, isn't it?

That's a waste of money.
There'll be no school.

So what time's the mayor arriving?
Will he be giving a speech?

May I remind you, today is a
family day, not a political rally.

Father, we should be
at the gates by now.

The mayor will be here any minute.

Oh, and I thought you might like
to present this to his lady wife.

I made it myself. Quite exquisite.

Even if the apostrophe's
in the wrong place.

What do you mean,
there'll be no school?

Ask the mayor.

I don't know why you bother
with make-up.

You can't improve on perfection.

Don't even think about coming
to me for a reference.

What?

Lord knows, you'll never be pretty,
Kathleen, but if you smile

from time to time, you might look
less like the spawn of Satan.

Your father's very stressed
at the moment.

He doesn't know what he's saying.
He doesn't...

Look at that!

Do you mind? Certainly, Father.

It's not a real rabbit.

Can you saw people in half?

Only little girls.

For goodness' sake!

What on earth did you say
to that poor girl?

Nothing. It was the magician.

Father, how much Pimm's
have you had?

Come along, Father,
they'll be here by now!

Father Brown!

Now, don't forget, it's imperative
we make a good impression.

Eleanor, good morning. Father Brown.
Pleased to meet you.

Mr Mayor, on behalf
of the parish of St Mary,

may I say how delighted we are
that you've chosen this

special occasion to deliver
your inaugural mayoral speech.

And, of course, we are extremely
grateful for your help

in our fundraising. Remind me, what
are the proceeds going towards?

The primary school...

in a Polish resettlement camp.

I'm sure you're familiar
with the community.

Not really, no. No?

No, well, why would you be?

Kathleen, darling,
come and meet the vicar.

Priest.

No matter. Still in one piece.

I don't believe in God.

I do apologise.
She's a spirited little madam.

Takes after her mother.

An independent thinker
with a questioning mind...

qualities I value highly.

In a man, perhaps.
Rather unbecoming in a lady, however.

Oh. Well, follow me, please.

Matilda, haven't seen you in Mass,
lately. Are you feeling...?

Better, yes. Thank you.

Really go for it.

Roll up, roll up!
Goldfish, win your goldfish.

Fetch some help. Please!

Oh!

OK, but it'll cost you.

You do know, most women would
kill to be in your shoes.

You must be terribly proud.

I hope he gets
everything he deserves.

An award-winning strawberry scone?
I don't mind if I do.

If you permit the observation,

you don't seem quite yourself today,
Eleanor.

I haven't been myself
for quite some time.

But trust me,
all that's about to change.

Father, Father!
Magic man take funny turn.

I leave him in ambulance tent
but someone need to look.

Magic man? Oh, a magician.

Did you book a magician?

Oh, whoever it is, I'll see to them.

Now, be sure and tell the mayor
everything is ready for his speech.

Father Brown.

Inspector. You might want to keep
a close eye on your coffers.

I'm afraid we've had reports
of a pickpocket on the loose.

I've asked around.
The boy dressed as a robot

recently lost his mother to polio.

Will you stop gabbling? I cannot
bear the sound of your voice.

Looking forward to
your father's big moment?

My mother's, more like.
She's the one who should be mayor.

It's not fair.

Matilda was in the Wrens
before she became a secretary.

Why can't married women
have careers?

Kathleen, if you ever need
a friend... I don't.

But if you did, my door
is always open.

Ahem. Good morning.

Sit up straight, darling.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Firstly, may I say what a great
pleasure it is to be here

on such a pleasurable occasion.

And on behalf of...

Kathleen?

Collectively, may I thank Mr Brown

and his team of church... people...

without which, today would
have been implausible.

My English is better than his, no?

With your hope, we help to build

a school for primary children

in Poland, a project
which I feel, personally,

extremely heartfelt about. Hypocrite!

Mr Mayor, I have it on good
authority that you're

conspiring with our local MP
to profit from the sale

of a prime piece of property
in Kembleford.

I know this man.
He courted my Polish friend.

Isn't it true that you
recently purchased a large area

of agricultural land
through a private company

registered in your wife's
maiden name?

I don't know
what he's talking about.

And isn't it a coincidence that the
same area of land has been earmarked

by central government to build
a new coal-fired power station,

information detailed in a
confidential memo circulated within

the Ministry of Fuel and Power,

which our local MP leaked to you?

Ladies and gentlemen, please
don't listen to this imbecile.

It goes without saying
that such a development would

exponentially increase the value
of the land in question.

Presumably, you and Mr Carlisle plan
to divide the spoils between you?

Where could they possibly build
a power station in Kembleford?

I am talking, of course,
about the Polish resettlement camp!

It's just sour grapes because
I was elected instead of him!

It's hardly surprising.

Who wants a mayor
who grew up on a pig farm?

Only pigs want pigs
to represent them!

I've heard enough. You, sir!

Are you a pig, sir? Oink, oink!

Why don't you ask him why he
withdrew from the elections, eh?

Don't buy a pig in a poke.

He's the one with the dirty secret.

He's the one peddling porky pies.

If you really want the truth,
I'll give you the truth!

Ego te absolvo ab omnibus
censuris, et peccatis...

We saw everyone leaving.
What's happened?

Is he dead?

I'm terribly sorry.

Is it true, what he say?

Is government planning
to throw us out from our homes?

Susie, please. A man is dead.

A husband and a father.
Now is not the time.

Mummy?

I'm thirsty. Are you thirsty?

Let's get something to drink.

William.

He looks so peaceful.

Please accept my condolences.

I'll inform the relevant
authorities.

He's very young to have had
a heart attack.

He had a heart condition. That's
why he didn't serve in the war.

Do you think it was the shock
of that man's accusations?

Father?

Mrs McCarthy?
Can I help you with...?

Bridget. My name is Bridget.

I don't understand
why she act crazy.

She not the one making homeless!

What happens to land when he dead?
If wife don't sell, maybe...

No. I'm afraid it doesn't
quite work like that.

If the government
want to build on the land,

all they need do is issue
a compulsory purchase order.

Father, I'm worried
about Mrs McCarthy.

She's not herself.

Probably just shock.
Strong cup of tea, plenty of sugar.

It's not the first time
she's seen a dead body.

Usually, she's planning the wake
while he's still warm.

How long's she been like this?

Since she see magic man
in the ambulance tent.

A stranger in town and not much
of a magician, by all accounts.

Why are you really here?
May I have a word?

I have a few questions for
this gentleman, myself, first.

Summer fete? The great and the good
in their Sunday best?

Then the mayor has a heart attack
and everyone's distracted.

Rich pickings, isn't that right?

Father Brown!

I'm a bit busy at the moment.

Go on. Get out of here.

And a very good day to you,
Sergeant. Inspector.

It's the public address system.

I know exactly what it is,
Inspector.

The mayor had a burn mark on
his hand and then there was that

strange crackling noise.

What, you think he was electrocuted?
Suppose the system could be faulty.

It's been tampered with.
The back's been unscrewed.

Fresh solder.

This has been connected
to the mains. Father?

I think you better come, quickly.

I don't know what's come over her.

Hardly the behaviour of a grieving
widow. Or a guilty conscience.

Mrs Mayor, I wonder
if there's somewhere

we could have a quiet word?

I suddenly feel a little sick.

You were married to the man
for 12 years.

Do you not feel anything at all?

Matilda, is there someone who could
look after Kathleen for a while?

I don't want that slut
anywhere near my daughter.

Fine. She's not MY child.

Mummy, why does a policeman
want to talk to you?

I'm sure it's nothing serious.

If you could just come with me,
please. I want to stay with my mum!

My bag.

I'll be back before
you know it, darling.

Hay fever. Makes me terribly hungry.

I just met the magician.

We really should get
some new chairs.

These are riddled with woodworm.

I thought your husband
died in the trenches.

When he didn't come home,
he was presumed missing in action.

Mrs McCarthy, can I just...?
This is nothing to do with you!

Would you please
just leave me alone?

Mrs Mayor, how would you describe
your relationship with your husband?

Susie has arranged for neighbours
to look after Kathleen

until you get home. Thank you.

Mrs Mayor?

Would you like to hear
my husband's favourite joke?

I'd prefer it
if you just answered... Please.

A young boy and his father
go out for a drive one day.

There's an accident,
the car goes off a cliff.

The boy's rushed to hospital

where the surgeon almost
collapses from shock,

says, "That's my son
on the operating table."

That's not funny.
It doesn't even make sense.

The surgeon is a woman.

Your husband felt threatened by you?

With good reason.

Intellectually.

I got him elected.

We met at school.

He was tongue-tied, awkward,
he struggled academically.

I thought he was sweet, so
I coached him through his exams,

through university.
I wrote all his speeches.

I thought, together,
we might make a difference.

And then you found out
he was having an affair.

Where did you find this?

With his secretary.

So you wanted to punish him?

It opened my eyes.

He didn't care about me.
He didn't care about Kathleen.

All that was ever going to matter
to him was lining his own pockets

and putting us back in our place.

And while I was foolish enough
to throw my life away,

Kathleen still has a bright future
ahead of her.

Just as long as we were
free of him.

I see.

Eleanor Knight, I'm arresting you
on suspicion of murder.

Murder?

You're not obliged to say anything
unless you wish to do so.

Whatever you do say
will be put in writing

and may be given in evidence.

I was planning to leave him,
not to kill him!

I'm afraid I've taken
a terrible liberty.

I know you said you didn't care,

but one mustn't let fear
stand in the way of happiness.

Bridget Maguire,
a chuisle mo chroi.

I'm going home now.
It has been a dreadful day.

All I want is a chance to explain.
Let me call on you this afternoon.

And then will you leave me alone?

I'll never bother you again,
if that's what you want.

Three o'clock?

Your ladyship.

Is that really necessary?

It's for your own protection
while I call for a car

to take her back to the station.

I didn't do it.
You have to believe me!

Did you leak the details about
the power station to Edwin Bloom?

I thought if his corruption
was exposed then we would have

an excuse to leave
with our heads held high.

Why? Do you think it was him?

Just before he died, the mayor
said he had a secret.

Do you know what
he was talking about? No.

Do you know where
I might find Bloom now?

We arranged to meet at three o'clock
this afternoon. Where?

He was going to introduce me
to a journalist.

He wrote the address down on a card.
It's in my bag.

It's not mine.
The murderer must have planted it.

Nice try, but I've
heard it all before.

What if they're after
the whole family? Kathleen?

I can take it from here, Father.

Could Bloom have planted it in your
bag when he gave you the card?

I said, I can take it from here.

Hey, hey!

I just wanted to thank you
for believing in me. Oh.

I realise it must have gone against
all your instincts,

as a friend. My instincts?

I know, I hurt her terribly,
but I was young and foolish.

Didn't know which side
my bread was buttered on.

You understand that, I can tell.

Fine filly like you,

bet you've known your fair share
of married men.

I write letter
to House of Parliament.

Then they have to take notice, yes?

"Dear sir, Mr Winston Churchill."

Edwin Bloom. You said your friend
was courting him.

Yes.

Do you happen to know why he
withdrew his candidacy for mayor?

I think he get found out
for criminal record.

A criminal record? For what?

How do you spell petition?

P, E, T, I, T, I, O, N.
Criminal record for what?

Yibby, jibby, GB... something.

Do you know what it stand for?

I was just passing.

The Earl gives me so many,

they've been cluttering up
the house for weeks.

I thought someone ought to get
some pleasure out of them.

Was there something in particular
you came to see me about?

I just wanted to check
you were all right, that's all.

Quite all right, thank you.

And to say sorry.

For interfering
when I shouldn't have.

Please don't settle for
anything less than you deserve.

You've changed your tune.

I just don't want to see you
get hurt, that's all.

And since when have you given
a flying fig about my feelings?

We both know you think

I'm a foolish old woman with ideas
above my station.

Well, now, hang on! And, of course,

I think you're a stuck-up madam
with too much time on your hands,

so we'll leave it at that, shall we?

I'll show myself out.

Usual, please, Norma.

You've heard the good news then?

I'm not going to pretend to like
the man just because he's dead.

Do you play? From time to time.

Might I ask where you went
between leaving the fete

and meeting Eleanor this morning?

Straight-talking man, Father.
I don't appreciate playing games.

What's this all about?

The mayor was murdered.

And you think I'm responsible?
What do you take me for?

I'm a founding member
of the Peace Pledge Union.

And yet you have a conviction
for GBH.

If you must know, I punched
a Nazi sympathiser after

he insulted my lady friend.

You might be interested to learn,
it subsequently emerged that

the man in question was paid for
provoking me and pressing charges,

by the mayor.

Must have made you very angry.
Of course it made me angry.

Mr Bloom, where did you go
after leaving the fete?

It's none of your business.

It is my business if someone
innocent hangs for a crime

they didn't commit.

I went to the phone box to call
a journalist friend of mine

to arrange a meeting with Eleanor.
He'll be here shortly.

You can ask him yourself if you
don't believe me. Or Kathleen.

Kathleen? The mayor's daughter.

I saw her hiding from the inspector
outside the church.

Thank goodness you're still here.
I need to speak with Kathleen.

I'm afraid that could be difficult.

Why? What's happened?

Your neighbour's just
reported her missing. What?

She left a note saying
she was going to see a friend

and hasn't been seen since.
A friend? What friend?

She doesn't have any friends!

I'm sure there's a perfectly
innocent explanation.

Mrs Knight, calm down!

There's a killer on the loose,
my daughter is in danger.

Why won't anyone believe me?

I never meant to hurt you.

But you did. If I could go back...

And you can't.

So if that's all you have to say,
Frank, I think it's best that you...

Absolutely not.

We danced to this on our bunnymoon.

18 carrots, don't you know?

Oh, Francis.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

It's been three months
since my last confession.

I've done something terrible.

It's never too late
to seek forgiveness.

Even if...?

Even if what?

I killed my father.

I've changed, Bridget.
Tell me it's not too late.

Oh, Francis!

So much for having changed.

Aye, and I can clearly see
you're still a nag.

But I'm prepared to overlook that.

Why are you here? Why now?

Francis!

What are you not telling me?
Francis?

Cirrhosis of the liver.

I'm dying, Bridget.

And she'd always make sure
the house was neat and tidy

when he got back from work.

It wasn't enough,
nothing was ever enough.

Hmm.

How, might I ask, exactly,
did you kill your father?

I prayed he would die. Hmm.

Well, wishing him dead
isn't exactly the same

as actually killing him.

Why were you hiding from
the police this morning?

You're the pickpocket?

So I'd have enough money
to get away.

Doesn't look like
I'll need to anymore.

Will I go to prison?

I don't think we need to involve
the police at this point.

I'll see the contents are returned
to their rightful owners.

Where did you get that?

Matilda's hair-curler.

I pinched it from her bag when
she went to call an ambulance.

I don't know if it's worth much.
May I see it?

Probably hoping to impress my dad.

I think she was
actually in love with him.

Earlier, you said that Matilda
had served in the Wrens.

Do you know what she did
in the Navy?

Something to do with submarines
and building engine wires, maybe.

She was an electrician.

You can ask her yourself
if you're quick.

I saw her packing her car
on my way here.

Said she was going on holiday.
Again.

Father?

Father Brown!

Blast it.

Yours, I believe.

Used to solder the mains supply
to the microphone jack

before you electrocuted the mayor.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Did he break it off? After Eleanor
found out about your affair?

Is that why you planted
the screwdriver in her bag?

If you don't mind, I've got a train
to catch. She'll be hung!

And Kathleen will be an orphan.

Get out of my way!

Get out of my way!

So, how long?

A year, if I'm lucky.

I always told you
you'd drink yourself to death.

You told me a lot of things.
And it serves you right...

running off with that floozy.
I'm not proud of myself.

But I wasn't the same man
that came back from the Front.

The things I'd seen.

Well, I didn't want to
talk about them but you, you...

asked too many questions.
Cared a bit too much.

So I found comfort in the arms of
someone who didn't care much at all.

And where is she now?

Fled to the hills as soon
as the going got tough.

Didn't want to play nurse.

And you think I do?

You're a good woman.
Try hard not to show it, but...

I know you still love me.

Maybe this is our time.
Maybe it's supposed to be like this.

You and me.

We need each other.
We're both lonely.

I mean, what kind of life is this
for you? Parish secretary? Ha!

Oh, come on, you must be
bored out of your mind.

And who've you got for company?

An infantile priest
and a hoity-toity ice-queen?

If you are talking about
Lady Felicia, I'll have you know,

she is compassionate and cultured
and witty and intelligent!

And a far better companion
than you could ever hope to be!

And... Now, I think
I'd like you to leave.

You don't mean that.

Goodbye, Frank.

I knew what we were doing was wrong,

but I'm not like Eleanor.

When I walk into a room,
I don't turn heads.

I know I was weak, but...

He made you feel special.

For a while.

Until I fell pregnant.

I realised then,
he was never going to leave her.

That it was all a lie.

And the baby?

He told me to get rid of it.

Gave me the address of
a backstreet butcher.

Saint Matilda.

My mother gave me this
on my confirmation.

I remember reaching for it
just before I lost consciousness.

When I couldn't find it, I knew

something dreadful
was going to happen.

Saint Matilda's the patron saint
of large families.

Now, I'm never going
to have children.

I have nothing left to lose.

I'm so sorry.

No-one would have found out
if your secretary hadn't

walked in before I could
put the screws back.

And Eleanor?

When I saw her bag unattended
by the stall,

the way she just carried on
as if nothing had happened,

when my whole world
was falling apart!

But now I'm going straight to Hell,
I'll be stuck with him for ever.

God forgives all those who repent.

Mr Knight never had a chance.

But you do.

No, it's too late.

For William, perhaps.
But not for Eleanor.

You can save her from the scaffold.

You can give her and Kathleen
their lives back,

if you tell the police the truth.

Will you tell the truth, Matilda?

Mummy!

I could have done that.

You too old. Give me the boxes
when finish unpacking.

We go live in them.

Ah! You're both here! Marvellous.

I leave you to it.
Not in a mood for party.

I've just come back
from the town hall.

So?

In order for the power station
to go ahead, the government need

access to the river and railway.

Unfortunately for them,
there's another stretch of land

between the Polish camp and the
station, which they don't own.

So who does the land belong to?

Me.

And, having spoken to my husband,
who has Polish family,

I can confirm, we won't be selling
at any price. And what's more,

given his high-profile connections
in Westminster,

no-one would dare put any pressure
on him to do otherwise.

Oh!

Mind my dress.

We go drink at camp?

Well, perhaps a small glass.

Will Mrs McCarthy join us?

Ah. I'm not sure Mrs McCarthy
has much cause to celebrate.

Oh, Father. Whatever it is,
can it wait until tomorrow?

Not without eating.

If you're talking
about my strawberry scones,

I think you've had your
fair share already today.

I was thinking more
about plankton. Or worms.

I thought, perhaps,
he could do with some company.

And if I remember correctly,
your kitchen faces north.

So it does.