Farscape (1999–2003): Season 4, Episode 21 - We're So Screwed: Part 3: La Bomba - full transcript

Scorpius has betrayed the crew. Now they're all captured. Their plan failed, the crew has little choice but to help Scorpius's true agenda.

What about Scorpius?
- What about him?

Well, he might have
been captured.


You must go back for him.

We're going to walk into the
most heavily guarded base in the Scarran Empire,

start a civil war and
walk out with Scorpius.

What part of that do you
not understand?

Why shouldn't I just have
you seized right now?

Well, maybe this.

A fission bomb.

My heart stops, we all go boom.

He's crazy.

Isn’t it fun?

What am I offered for all the
powers of the universe?

Give us wormhole weapons
and everyone will be safe.

Have you got anything to offer, or
is all this just an elaborate bluff?

You don't believe that I
can control wormholes?

An entire cavern just to grow
the flowers they eat. Why?

I'm going to capture your soul.

Scorpius can't possibly
hold out much longer.


The Scarrans will never
make you rich.

How much hatred exists here
between the Charrids and the Kalish?

Where the hell is my riot?

I will not be humiliated
by you, Vakali.

Will you betray me?

I've served you for
ten cycles as a spy.

Don't fire or you'll
detonate the bomb.

You stupid son of a bitch!

I'm sorry, John.

And now on Farscape.

You do not know what
you're doing.

Yeah, I do and I'm gonna freakin'
nuke you and half of this damn base.

Kill me later.

I should kill you now.
You're still my prisoner.

Technically he's my prisoner.
- Thank you, John.

When Aeryn wakes up,
she gonna kill him!

I'm so pleased to see
you're all safe.

Minister Ahkna's forces have done
a superb job in quelling the unrest.

A duty to which I'm sure
she's eager to return.

See ya later, sweetheart.

Thank you.

Aeryn. Shh.

Did we win?

You'll be delighted to hear my guards were
able to secure the rest of your crew as well.

Coincidentally, as they were
also nearing exits.

Like yourselves, I'm sure they
were simply trying to avoid

any entanglement in violence.
- Where are they?

There are guards placed to
ensure their wellbeing.

Were you planning to leave?
- Temporarily.

Grayza called with another offer.
But you had a riot going on.

We didn't wanna bother you.
We decided to take our own car.

I'm glad you didn't.

Base defenses have been
placed on highest alert.

Any non-Scarran vessels will
automatically be targeted and destroyed.

We were very lucky.

We'll transport you
to the Carrier.

That's very kind.

My pleasure... John.

Emperor, the craft is an
Eradicator, Topraktin design.

We've gained entry and
neutralized its systems.

Sentinels are now securing the
star charts and the vector logs.

Leave no trace when
you've completed.

I don't want them to know what we know.
- Sir.

I prevented you from leaving
for your own protection.

You what?
- You stopped us from leaving?

You stuck a knife in our back.


Your plan would have failed.

We could have be on Lo'La by now...
- Hear him out. Hear him out!

It is quite likely the Scarrans
had already disabled D'Argo's ship.

That's impossible.

And found Moya.

Even if we manage to
get off Katratzi,

their base's weapons would
have destroyed us.

Stealth is no longer an option.

Does Lo'La have enough
firepower to blast us out?


Probably. I don't know.
It's worth a shot.

How would we do it?

I'd call Lo'La, she'd blast a
hole and we'd run through.

Do it before someone
else screws us.


Somebody's jammed the Comms.

No, no, the Comms are
working fine.

They must have disabled Lo'La.

That is impossible.

Hey, what about the
Command Carrier?

Can we still get a
free ride outta here?

Try it and find out.

We don't know what you're
talking about.

Oh, let me enlighten you.

Grayza doesn't frighten me.

Her Command Carrier doesn't
frighten me.

Your bomb doesn't frighten me

and neither do you.

Damn. I'm on the brink of
devastation, Minnie Pearl.

Perhaps we should go
there together.

My name is John Crichton,
an astronaut.

Three years ago I got shot
through a wormhole.

I'm in a distant part
of the universe

aboard this living ship of
escaped prisoners,

my friends.

I've made enemies.

Powerful, dangerous.

Now all I want is to
find a way home

to warn Earth.

Look upward and share
the wonders I've seen.

1812, this room bug free?

Good boy.

Okay, convince me.

Crystherium Utilia.

The flower.

Yes. Very important.

Oh. It'd better be.

Is that why they're growning
it in the Bat Cave?

That's right.
You've been there?

Listen up, Grasshopper.

I finally have a plan that
works. It's simple.

We get in, we break bread.

We see the sights, we grab you,
we get out.

And now you're gonna throw
flowers at me?

We need to destroy
the Crystherium.

Flowers trump wormholes?

At the moment, yes.

What have I told you about
smoking in my head?!

- Sit down!

I ain't sayin' nothin'. You...

Sit down!
- He's the boss.

I'm talking to you.


The number one secret in the
whole Scarran Empire.

Ha. Even the Charrids and Kalish
haven't figured its real deal.

Stark used to live
here on Katratzi,

assisting the leadership caste
with their death rituals.

My side, you're side!
My side, you're side!

Frell me again!

That why you were torturing
him when I met you?

That's right.

Crystherium growth requires very
specific and rare conditions.

The Scarrans can only propel their
power forward from these few locations.

And destroying a bunch of flowers
is supposed to set 'em back?

For hundreds of cycles.


'Cause the need 'em.


Simplistic, brutish creatures.

Should have died out
generations ago.

What happens if they
eat the flower?

Big brains. Evolutionarily

Hey, you know, Staleek, Ahkna.

And if they don't eat 'em?

Your dog could beat 'em at
checkers! Ha!


Though Stark provided
many details,

I was unable to learn of
Katratzi's location.

You rescued him prior to
that breakthrough.

Sorry to stitch you up.

No, you're not.

You were taking too long with
the wormholes, John.

Reality provides opportunity.

I needed some way to hurt
the Scarrans. Now.

You know, you're not...
you're not making any sense.

You... you take the knowledge
from my head,

and then you tell me that
you give it to him...

what, so I'm gonna rescue him?

I have no wormhole
knowledge, John.

But Harvey said...

Scorpius knows everything
you know.

So what, I lied.


Oh, that is clever.

We had a deal.

I help you rescue Aeryn Sun
from the Scarrans,

you give me wormholes.

Boss says lay low!

Don't go near him anymore.
Give him some peace.

But obviously you betrayed
our contract, yes?

But you know what?

You went and left him
behind to die.

You had no intention of
returning for my rescue, did you?


You screw the boss, I find a
way to get you reinterested.

You trying to lay this
off on me?

You see, if my Neural Clone
has returned,

it is only because you have
betrayed me.

You trying to say Harvey's
back because of me?

You should honor your
contracts, John.

No. No contract.

You betrayed us.

We had a deal.

No. He screwed us!

And now you get on your high
horse. We had a deal.

Hey, you took a bribe.

You bank the cut but when
the heat's on,

you're just another dumb copper
doing his job. Unbelievable!


Look at these little beauties.

Would you have left me to
perish with the Scarrans?

Under the circumstances...

Hey, he's right, you know? We're brothers,
from different sides of an imaginary line.

Good, bad. Bad, good.

Your side, my side, my side...

Sit down!

So, here we are.
Cadaver and Hutch.

A team.

What now?

We must destroy the flowers.

And if I say no?

I will attempt to accomplish
the task myself.

However, rest assured, mine is
now the only path off Katratzi.

Hey! Hey, you better listen to
him, screw. He's smarter than you.

You used me.

We use each other.
- You're better at it.

Oh, you're learning.
The bomb? Clever.

When it goes off,

plan on being nearby.

400 Scarran Scrambler Cannons
were trained on us the microt that you entered here.

Minister Ahkna informed us that unless
you were returned them safely, they'd fire.

Well, they can't do that.

To honor the truce, they have
to let you go wherever you want.

They'll let us go.

They just won't let you
leave with us.

They feel it violates the
terms of the agreement.

Braca, Officer Sun?

Could we have a moment
alone, please?

Stay on Comms.

There's nothing that
I can do to help.

Even the Enhanced Marauder
wouldn't get you clear.

The Scarrans are on full alert,
weapons primed.

You'll never get out of here.

I'll see you later.

Where are you going?
That's a medical area.

I have something I need
to take care of.

Personal problem?

Let's go.

So you need to watch?

Wait for her here.

All that astonishing wormhole knowledge,
and still you will not share it with us.

You came in here big and bold,
dancing on tabletops,

and look at you now,
begging for scraps.

I may be jammed, possibly dead,
but I'm not begging.

You can get that fantasy
outta your head.

In my hands, you can
have peace.

I can have peace!

I have been in your hands.

There's no peace there,
just power.

You are so self-righteous!

I have used all my skills, all my
resources for one perfect chance at peace.

And because of you, it is gone!

And I am...




Welcome to the universe,

I can't believe they're
allowing us inside.

Everything's working, right?

Yeah, it seems to be.

All right.
Well, let's get the others.

Blast our way outta here.

No, no. Someone's been in here.

I can smell it.

Well the defenses
were up, right?

No. I don't know what
they've done.

Maybe frelled with the weapons,
planted a homing beacon, or a bomb.

Frell it!

I have to shut the ship down and
run a full systems diagnostic check.

How long will that take?

Three arns.

Well what if we find something
that we can't fix?

Then we go with Scorpius' plan.

Frelling elevators.

Lock ourselves in an elevator
while it tunnels through the solid rock?

Sounds reasonable.

Sounds fahrbot!

Sikozu may not be able to
provide elevator access.

Therefore, we need to locate
someone who can.



Who's Stark?

Another lunatic with the
wrong number of eyes.


And there he is.

He is not.

That is a Bioloid replica.

And how do you know that?

Stark would never torture me.

Emperor Staleek replaced the
real Stark with a Bioloid

to fool Ahkna into
believing he was real.

But you're actually working
for Staleek?

So he believes.

Oh, I do admire your
compartmentalization of duplicity.

How do we find the real Stark?

Find the Bioloid Duplicator.

Stark is undoubtedly
imprisoned within it.

Where did you disappear to
on the Command Carrier?

Some unfinished business.

Wanna tell me about it?


D'Argo's still working
on his ship,

and Sikozu's trying to
scam the codes.

Any other alternatives?

Oh, we can always give the
Scarrans what they want.

Dead in a few microns...

Or we could try the
banzai approach.

Or we could just follow
Scorpy's plan.

Damn, you cannot stop following
me around, can ya?

And you just can't leave.

Wouldn't Grayza help you?

Actually, she's the
high bidder.

Perhaps now is the time for
you to hear my offer.

You all go free now.

What's the price?

You leave Scorpius
behind for me.

And what's in it for you?

I will make sure the hierarchy
blames Staleek for your escape.

You understand I know nothing
about Scarran politics.

But I'm guessing that that means that
they fire him and you get his job.


Well, "if it were done, when 'tis
done, 'twere best it were done quickly."

Thanks. She scares the
crap out of me.

It's the hat.

Emperor, about Crichton's bomb.

In under a quarter of an arn, we
will have computed the final code.

With it, this will disarm
the detonator.



Security's been heightened
since the riots.

All the codes have been changed.

What can be done?

There's a master keychip that
overrides all codes.

It'll run the elevator and give you
complete access to the system's schematics.

Can you get it?

Not very easily.

And if I get caught, then...

It could expose the entire
Kalish underground.

Just tell me this. Will it help
defeat the Scarrans?

Yes. Yes, it will.

So, what do you think?

I think Lady Macbeth is gonna
find a way to screw us.

But Staleek is probably way
ahead of her.

Which leaves us with Plan...


"E" for...


Mm-hmm. And I'm gonna tapdance
for the Emperor.

Be careful. He's not an idiot.

I know. But he can't do jack to
me as long as this bomb's ticking.

You can't reactivate the
bomb in any way?

Not in any useful manner.

So what are we supposed
to do then?

D, can you get Lo'La

Well it should be another
arn at least.

They'll find us in half that.

Sparky, where are ya?

Stuck. Guards all around.

Can't go anywhere at
this point.

Well, get to the elevator
if you can.


Where is the elevator?

Where is Crichton?

He won't get far.
The station is sealed.

Minister Ahkna, that may
well be your epitaph.

Sikozu has managed to
summon the Rabrokator.

What the hell's that?
Some kind of massage tool?

It's a drilling elevator. But it won't
do us any good without the keychip.

What's he doing here?

Scorpius? He's giving us the
shaft as usual. Everybody in.

Mind the gap.
Safer in than out.

I'll try and cross-fire the
drilling controls.

Yes, we can try, but it will
not work without...


Wait, wait!
- Wait, wait, wait!

I've got it.

Thank you.


Get us moving.

We have navigational control.

Then go!

You drive like dren.

Get the drills working.

I'm trying, but it's gonna
take a little bit of time.

Take us to the bottom.
The Crystherium cavern.

The shaft ends there.

It means they will not be able
to reach us in another car.

It also means Sikozu has time
to activate the drill.



Ah, frell him!

Let's find Stark.

Good idea. Why?

Scorpius claims Stark
knows this base.

Maybe he knows a way out.


They're in the Rabrokator.
We're trying to override.


Sensors detect weapons fire
within the base.

And communication intercepts
indicate Scarran forces

are in pursuit of Crichton,
with orders to kill.

They must have deactivated
the bomb.

Then he's lost.

As are we.

Go to battle stations.


Are you questioning me?

I cannot get the drills

Sputnik, stay on it.

Chiana, the doors!
- Frell! Got it!

Aeryn, stay with him.
- Be careful.

That was not me.

They're trying to override
the override!

Dueling overrides.
Don't you hate that?

Okay, Lo'La should be
functional by now.

Start the drills, get us to the surface,
and I'll signal Lo'La, then we go!

We must destroy them.
- Why?

The mother plant is the key.
It fertilizes the others.

Kill it and no new Crystherium
can grow here.


The Rabrokator has stopped
at the Crystherium cavern.

I want it recalled. Now!

Come on.

Hurry up.

Come on.
- These doors are getting pushier.

I didn't know about it.

Stark didn't know about it!

This must be a new addition
by the Scarrans!

He doesn't like to lose,
does he?

Got it.

The drills are enabled. We can core
our way to anywhere on the planet.

I've regained control of
the drilling elevator.

Now get it back up
to this level.


I'll handle it.
- Yeah.

Get it open!


- Come on!

D'Argo, hurry up!

Go, go, go, go!

Oh no, wait, wait, wait!

Sikozu, don't!
- Keychip!

What the frell's going on
up there?

We couldn't override their
override of our override.

Oh, great. They stole our
getaway car.

That's our only way out.

And their way in.

Your father would be
proud, Ahkna.

Security under him was riddled
with top-down incompetence as well.

Emperor. The Command Carrier is
showing increasing signs of battle readiness.

Any other exits?

No, it's nothing but rock
and hay fever.

Company's coming.

- Time to go.



Get down.

Hey, did you get my bomb?
- What?

Whoa. I can't believe that I left
a nuclear bomb in an elevator.

Well, that's all right.
You've done worse.

These weapons will be useless
if they're Scarrans.

It's gonna be Scarrans.

You cannot be taken alive, John.
- Be quiet.

Am I wrong or are we frelled?

No. There is a way.

I'm not like normal Kalish.

There are others like me.

We're part of a resistance movement,
dedicated to overthrowing Scarran domination.

We are genetically engineered to kill
Scarrans by emitting an intense radiation

that specifically destroys
their heat producing gland.

Did anyone else know about
this, or is it just me?


Okay Sikozu, go ahead.

Not without a promise first.

If the Scarrans were to learn there
are others engineered like myself,

they would kill millions of
innocents to root us out.

Sikozu, we're a team.

Your promise is safe.


D'Argo, Scarrans are very good
at retrieving the truth.

We're not gonna be
tortured again.


Agreed. Go.

Do not look upon me.

Especially you.

Hold fire.

Kalish, present yourself
and surrender.

Okay, Chiana. Grab the weapons.
- Got it.

Come on Scorp, let's go.
- Let's go.

She'll be fine.
Get those weapons.

Grasshopper, it's time.


We gotta go.

Do the math. It's over.

I... do not lose!

Be happy to give you lessons.

Now... you in or out?

Come on, let's go!

Come on!

Hurry up!

Is that him?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Open it up.

Stark. Stark!

Are you alive?


Oh, you lunatic.

You... you're green.

How lovely of you to notice.

Is nothing sacred?

You wanna deal with Stark,
you're gonna have to deal with me.

No! Let go!

You pompous little
Dominar of nothing!

I'm gonna rip your tiny
little heart out.

Thanks, witch.

My pleasure.

Commandant Grayza, see reason.

Reason indicates that you have subverted this
conference and with it, any chance of peace.


Your vessel arms itself for battle while we
continue to operate under a banner of truce.

Reason dictates that I not
believe a single word you say.

Reconsider, Peacekeeper.

Adhere to the name you have
chosen for your kind.

Monitor their every move
and transmission.

Should they attack,
annihilate them without mercy.

Ma'am, what are you doing?

Pursuing honor, Captain.

We're at peace. Under truce.

And vastly outnumbered.

And about to rewrite the
course of history.

Prepare to launch simultaneous
salvos on every weapons system. Now!


Have we solved the
override problem yet?

Not yet.
- Did you put the key in?

Yes, I used the frelling key.

Why do we even bother?

What are you doing?
- Sending a message.

The connection has been severed.

Fix it.

Drill's on.

Hey, you know how to drive
this Wonkavator?

Do you?

- Then why ask?


Kalish sensors report an unusual
energy discharge in the cavern.

The status of the Crystherium?


We've lost contact with
the Strike Team.

And Crichton?

He has activated the drill and
is coring through solid rock.

Impossible to predict his
destination, my love.

I'll tell you your
destination, my love.

A frelling torture station
if you don't stop him!

Right, well, you at least know how
to get where we're going, right?


Well then, go faster.

Here's faster.

It's a hell of a ride.

Kinda fun, huh?

Okay, it's no longer a joke.

Protection of the Crystherium
was your number one priority.

Yes, my Lord, but it was not I who
gave permission for the access code.

What are you implying, Rahzaro?
We had nothing!

Do not give me your excuses.


Commandant Grayza refuses to
acknowledge on all frequencies.

I credit her choice of suicide
over failure.

How are you positioned?

Well, they will be accorded
every opportunity to cease fire.

Peacekeeper Command will find
no fault with our self-defense.

Captain Jenek here epitomizes
the competence I demand.

Perhaps you can next assist
Minister Ahkna in her follies?

Capture Crichton and her
job will be yours.



Tell me when target
acquisitions are complete.

Ma'am. There is no battle
here, ma'am.

Why are you so averse to
conflict, Captain?

And why are you so adversed?!

How dare you?

Who do you think you are?

Captain Miklo Braca, Officer of the
Fleet, Peacekeeper Interplanetary Service.

Oh. Nobody.

Ma'am, you'll start a war.

A war is inevitable.

We sail under a flag of truce.

Let us leave beneath
its protection.

Didn't Scorpius tell you? Truce
with the Scarrans is suicide.

Oh. So the men and women
of this vessel

must pay for your miscalculation
with their lives.

It's for the greater
good, Captain.

And we shall all be
remembered as heroes.

Commandant Grayza.

Under Article Six Rulu, Uniform Code
of Admiralty Conduct, Section 19:

Due to a state of incapacitation of
judgment displayed in multiple encounters

under stress, I hereby invoke
the Transfer of Command

and relieve you of duty

Officer of the Deck!


Would you be so kind as to shoot this
mutinous captain dead where he stands.

Sorry, ma'am.

Captain Braca has already
relieved you of command.

Now let's get this
ship out of here.

I never did... like Disneyland.

Oh! Dad, are we there yet?

My head hurts.

Let's go again!


From this moment on, you will disregard
her status as Ruling Caste Scarran

and ignore Minister
Ahkna's orders.

Am I clear?
- Sire.

Besides myself, John Crichton is the
single most important person on this base.

Am I clear?!

Apprehend him and bring
him before me now.

Your Excellency!

You must leave now.
It's the elevator!

Did we hit the surface?

- I don't know. Let's find out.
- D, the doors.

Secure the Emperor's safety!

You, you and you with me!


Keep Crichton alive!


General Rahzaro, it's Crichton
and the others.

Be ready.

The lights not working.

Nothing's working.

Let's find out where we are.


Whoa! Okay. That's no good.
- Where are we?

- Um... conference room.
- What?

Come out now or die!

Are we cursed?
Could we be cursed?

Well, that depends on whether
this will hold.

Fire again!

The Rabrokator is quite strong.

We can't stay in here forever.
What about that hatch?


No, it'll be a drop of
at least a metra.

Sparky? Grandma?

Where have you been?

We're at D'Argo's ship, and
it's crawling with Scarrans.

Here's our chance to see
if Lo'La is reactivated.

Rygel, are you standing
near the ship?

Well clear. Why?

Hey, Vaskreta!

That did it!

The guards are down. We did it!

We've reached the
Crystherium chamber.

All dead.

Hold your positions until
reinforcements arrive.

I will check on the Emperor.

They are not to leave here!


How important is that
mother plant?

I would trade my life for
its destruction.

What about my wormhole debt?

Of course.


Are you in Lo'La?

Yes, Crichton. We're safe.

What have you done, John?

Just fixed your little
flower problem.

You reactivated it, didn't you?


It should go off in about...

60 microts.

And then it explodes?


A big explosion?


Oh. God, we should've voted.

All in favor, show of hands.

All opposed?

Three to two. Sikozu abstains.

The concussive pressure must
exit through the elevator system.

And this shaft.

At this distance the
compartment should protect us.

It might work.

We'll find out in 15 microts.

This is your last chance.

Come out!


Love you.

Love you, too.

Emperor, the Crystheriums
are intact.

The matriarch plant has
not been harmed.

Our fears were completely



What is that?


What the hezmana just happened?!

Where are you, you fahrbots?!

Did you blow up the bomb?
How could you blow up the bomb?!

You missed the vote.

I never thought I'd see you
again, Stark.

And I always believed I would.

It is a pleasure to
have you aboard.

Time for another Starburst,

Moya and I believe
four is enough.

She's tired and there's no
evidence that anyone is pursuing us.

Scarrans must still be
too busy on Katratzi.

They got off easy.

And to celebrate the victory, I shall
cook a voluptuous caspitian haunch stew.

More. More.
- More. More.

How long does it take
for you to recover?

I do not know.

I've never done this before.




Everything old is new again.

Except the old thing's
getting really old.

Hey, honey.

Guess what I did at work today.

I wore a bomb.

A nuclear bomb in a
field of flowers.

I could get lucky.

Tomorrow I could have
a bigger bomb.

I could kill more people.

Maybe they'll be
innocent people.

Children, maybe.