Farscape (1999–2003): Season 3, Episode 13 - Scratch 'n Sniff - full transcript

How can you say that?

Because it's true.

You're exactly like a Sebacean.

In what way am I like a Sebacean?

In that you think that you are superior.

And that you treat the rest of us like animals.

When have I ever treated you like that?

Only every time that we have to make a decision

and you think that the best idea is your idea.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah! They are going to write songs
about the way you guys tore this place up.



- Right. Go away.
- I am away.

- I'm- on- vacation.
- Pip, beat it.

Has it occured to you why
Pilot banished you from Moya?

Because you're both acting like
a couple of immature Dredgenaughts.

- I can' believe you pissed him off.
- I didn't piss him off. You pissed him off.

You did.

Grow up!

Or ignore each other, or kill each other,

but just stop fighting all the time.

I'm out of currency.

Here.

Playland for the rich too classy for ya?

But you, you just keep on hunting for
that long range cargo hauler of your dreams.

Cause she's bound to show up in you lap one day.



When she passes out, I'll,
I'll take her back to Moya.

In the meantime...

I'm gonna have some fun.

I suggest you guys do the same.

- See what you did?
- You did it.

- You did.
- You.

You... Yeah, right. You did it.

This alien is Raxil.

There's one like her on every planet.

And these girls?

No có¿...

We never did get their names.

Ahh... are you boys... a couple?

- No.
- No.

Can you handle some girls looking to party?

I am a full-blooded Luxan.

And ladies, I have so much cash in my pocket
that I can assure you that the three of us...

... will be out of here on our hands and
knees come sunrise tomorrow morning.

I've been arrested for saying exactly
the same thing on four different planets.

Fe'Tor.

Bad guy. Dressed in black.

Another bad guy. The guy with Fe'Tor.

Crichton... Crichton, wake up!

Wake up!

Crichton!

- What happened?
- What didn't happen?

Oh, God, there were girls, right?

Feathered chicks...
The, the... Rainbow Coalition.

Girls. Breasts.

Blue breasts, green breasts, I don't know.

All I know is... they spiked our
drinks and took our money.

- They rolled us?
- Yeah, they rolled us.

- You know, these...
- My pulse pistol.

...shots that we took?

They spiked em.
My pulse pistol!

They-they took my damn pulse pistol!

No one stole your pulse pistol.
We're on LoMo...

no weapons allowed. Your pulse
pistol's on the transport pod.

I don't remember that.

Where are my boots?

D'Argo...

...we're in a window.
There are people watching.

I think they've been there
for about seven arns, so...

why don't you just get dressed
and give 'em a good show sweetheart.

I am dressed.

My name is John Crichton...
I'm lost...

an astronaut...

shot through a wormhole....
In some distant part of the universe....

I'm trying to stay alive...

Aboard this ship...
this living ship...

of escaped prisoners...
my friends.

If you can hear me...
beware...

if I make it back...
will they follow?

If I open the door...
are you ready?

Earth is unprepared...
helpless...

for the nightmares...
I've seen.

Or should I stay...
protect my home...

not show them...
you exist.

But then you'll never know...
the wonders I've seen.

I said ten solar days away from Moya...

...and I meant ten!

Pilot, gimme a break. I'm tryin' to
tell you what happened.

I understand, Crichton.

However, my inclination is not
to accept any explanation.

Well, I can't go back down there.

I'm persona non grata on LoMo.
LoMo non grata.

Can't do it, not goin', uh-uh.

You return... beat-up, inebriated
and broke, after only two!

Yeah.

But, that's what I'm tryin' to explain to you.

You said that if I could explain it,
then I-I could stay onboard, right?

Proceed.

How the hell did we end up in that window?

I don't know.

- You don't think we, ah...
- I said, I don't know!

Hey, don't-don't yell. It hurts.

Have we heard from Jool or Pip yet?

- They haven't been answering their comms.
- Right. Go find 'em Lassie.

It was your idea to come
down here in the first place.

You go frelling find them.
Aren't you worried about them?

Aw, hell, no.

They're probably sleepin' off
the fun they had last night.

- Shut up.
- Hey, don't tell me to shut up!

You know, you're the one who told em to have fun.
Whadda you think fun is for Chiana?

- shut-up.
- What?!

John...isn't that the pile of dren
we saw outside the window?

Yeah. Smile.

It was also in the bar last night, wasn't it?

I'm so glad you're not angry.
Ya know, I thought you were gonna....

Oh, what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna scream!

- Don't scream!
- Did you steal our currency?

What are you talking about?
I didn't steal anything.

I came over here to talk to you, you know?

But you looked so angry before
when you were in the window...

- Not talkin' about the window!
- All right.

Let me give ya something here.
I saw it all.

- They're in trouble.
- Yeah, they're gonna be in a lot
more trouble when I find 'em.

The green and the blue chick...

Not the blue and green chick.
No, no, no.

I'm talking about your females.

I'm talking about the pretty gray
one and the really annoying gold one.

- What about them?
- They're in trouble.

I can show ya. I can show ya
what happened last night.

Let me go.

D'Argo, look. Chiana knows how to look after herself.

We gotta find our money...
...and I'm pretty sure...
that this grommet is involved.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I've got something for ya.

I've got us a recording of
all that happened last night.

I mean, ya don't believe it, you can
see it for yourselves, ya know?

It's talking crap.

We got rolled, and I don't think we need a...

You're broke...
You can't get robbed again.

I mean, what do you think?
You think I want your shoes?

- I don't know what you want.
- You're not very smart, are you?

Now he...
...he's got brains

Now you, you're a bit of an idiot, huh?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- But, I'm bigger.
- Oh! Ow-ow-ow.
All right. Sorry-sorry-sorry.

Alright. Alright.

Ha-have you spoken to your females yet?

I'll bet you haven't spoken to them yet.

No, we haven't spoken to them, because
they might be sleeping, they could be...

"Oh, yeah, princess."

How do I know you haven't
spoken to them yet, huh?

You don't know that, do ya?

- No. Well, my point is...
- Will you just tell us!?

- That's Jool's comm.
- How do you know?

It's melted around the edges
from when she screams.

Now. Do you want to see what
happened last night or not?

'Cause I could just, you know, not.

All right, all right.
You don't have to push me.

The point is, you see, we can be friends,
you can trust me, you see...

...everybody trusts me, 'cause I'm a female of my word.

- Oh, what is that?!
- It smells like...

Shh, shh, shh! Close... but no.
It-It's miramar root, you know?

Kabaah uses it in all his pleasure elixars.

Very low quality.
But we don't tell him that.

Mr. Kabaah?

- Wake up!
- Don't... yell.

Well, I have to, he's as deaf as a feather.

Wake up!

Go away.

I don't need your trouble.

Trouble? Me?

No, no, no. You must have
me confused with someone else.

I'm not confused.

I've seen you snooping around, seeing
you when you didn't want me to.

Is that...a Han-jee?

A Han-jee? I don't believe you.

What's a Han-jee?

Creature with removable eyes.

Optic nerves that continue
to record and send back images,...

... even after they're seperated from the body.

Leave 'em in somebody's bed chamber......

You brought us to see a pornographer?!

I'm deaf, not dead.

Stop talking like I'm not here.

What do you want?

I know you've always got an
eye hanging out at the LoMo bar.

So?

We're looking for a Nebari and an Interon.

You want... the show.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Who's paying?

You don't think you'll get the show for...
free, do you?

We have no currency. You know that.

Come on, you gotta have something.

All right then, we are being scammed.

Ren and Stimpy here are teamin' up to rip us off.

Let's get outta here.

This phanix?

I would never team up with her.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Just to prove to you... I'll pay.

There.

- Where did you get that currency?
- Why? What's the matter?

All of our brandar tiles were stolen last night.

So? Did you have your name on 'em?

No-No!

They aren't yours, they're mine, they're mine.

You two have really got to work
on your attitude, you know that?

Kabaah, give 'em a tentacle.

Put one of these on your eye.

You gotta be kidding me.

These will link back to the optic memory of last night,

and act as a three-dimensional image
of everything that happened in the bar.

You want us... to put one of
your tentacles... in our eye?

Don't be such a grimmit
Just do it!

This is, uh... this is.

D'Argo, you-you see'n this?
This is... uh...

Well, it's, uh... it's incredible.

Kabaah, show us the females.

Oh, hello.

I can be bad. You're jealous.

All right.

Yeah, this looks really dangerous.

Those girls are in fear for their lives.

Yeah, all right.
Have you got anything else?

Kabaah, get your eye outta the gutter.
Show them later... later!

- That it?
- Yeah.

You.

You want me?

Watch.

I just won a bet.

Raslak. Make it a large.

You smell so exotic.

I like watching you dance.

I like watching you and your friend...

but especially... you!

Oh, big deal. She's being hit on by some guy.

Knowing Chi, he's probably
in more trouble than she is.

Wait, there's more.

I have something for you.

You...

I like the look of you.

- Who is this bastard?
- That's Fe'Tor.

Ow! Whoa, whoa!
What the hell just happened?

You didn't pay me enough to cross Fe'Tor.

- Who is Fe'Tor?
- He was what I was tryin' to show ya.

Fe'Tor's the most famous kaznick around here.

He rounds up all the good-looking ones and
they all just party night and day, night and day.

- What? Does he... do them?
- He hurts 'em.

e gives 'em the whiff... well, you saw.

And then they do anything.

I'm not sure, but I think this is Fe'Tor's sister.

Her freslin is still...adequate.

I'm not interested in... "adequate."

We gotta get your females out of there.

- Do you know where we can find them?
- Yeah, got an idea.

Whoa! Hey, Whoa! D'Argo. D'Argo, wait.

What we saw is from last night.

Chiana could not even be
with that guy anymore.

We can't have another auction yet.

It's too soon, too dangerous.

I think our female upstairs may be
exceptional. For her, we can risk it.

D'Argo, why are you
believing this Raxil thing here?

Chiana was having fun.

She could be walking back into
the bar right now, we don't know.

Well why don't you go to
the bar and wait for her?

- D'Argo, I...
- It's fine.

I'm just going to go along and say... hello.

Squeeze her dry.

Well, I've been comm'n the girls. No answer.

- Did you find 'em?
- Found 'em.

Deliveries around the back.

- Oh, oh, 'round the back?
- Yeah.

Uh... okay, thanks.

- They okay?
- They're fine.

Jool! Jool!

- Are you all right?
- Ah! Oh, D'Argo.

- Oh, come in with me. Come on.
- Where... is... Chiana?

Over there.

Um... ah... we thought that perhaps
you might be in some trouble.

I'm not in any trouble.

At least none I don't want to be in.

Where's Raxil?
She didn't wait around like
she said she would.

That way.

Ow! Ow! Did you see them?
Are they in trouble?

They were taking... a bath.

...we saw him... give you something.
Some stuff.

- Oh... were you spying on me?
- No... no.

D'Argo, I came here to have a good time.
Does that make you jealous?

No. I'm not jealous. It's just that, ah...

'Cause you and me, we're-we're
not together anymore, are we?

Ah, no, we're not together anymore...

Well then, let go of me.

All right. You and Jool
are coming with me.

Let me go!

Chiana? Everything all right?

- She's fine.
- Why don't you let go of her then?

Why don't you mind your own business,
you miserable little tralk?

They had...
...weapons!

You said... it would be a party!

But they had weapons
that they put to my head!

They had weapons?!

Yes, but they weren't pointed at Chiana.
They were pointed at me.

Please, please, calm yourself.

I don't like to show force.

But you are in my residence and
you are attacking my people.

Now... get out.

Chiana...

D'Argo, get out. Go!

Oh, we're fine, D'Argo, really.
We're just...

Uh... D'Argo? You're gonna kill her.

At the moment, I do not
have a problem with that.

- What did you spray on him?
- Freslin.

Stop! Stop!

This makes no sense.
You make no sense.

What? Wh-What doesn't make sense?

She nailed him with love potion number 9.

It made him dance?

Well, it's a way to meet girls.

Pilot, just listen to this, all right?
This is important.

This is about the deal. It's about Freslin.

LoMo's dirty little secret.

I suspect the dirtly little secret is you spent...

... all your currency on pleasure and now...

Hey! You know what?!

It's a weird universe out there man.

You don't know that 'cause
you're spending all your time indoors.

Just... let me finish my story.

See?

See why I made us get off the beach?

- He would've been chasing everything that moves.
- And it's all because of this stuff you gave him?

Freslin's an attractant.

You could be attractive to someone else,
or they could be attracted to you.

It could be strong, weak... anything.
Depends on where it's manufactured.

Did you like the Freslin I gave you last night?

Is this more?

Mm, different batch... different quality.

Want a taste?

Bring it on.

- It's different.
- More better?

Yeah.

An animal's last batch always is.

This is... uh, this is from an animal?

A beautiful animal.

Is this the same stuff, that
that guy sprayed on Chiana last night?

Yeah. Grade-A Freslin. Made in his own lab.

Fe'Tor's got the most sensitive
nose in the business!

- What am I missing?!
- Nothing. Here.

Wonderful, isn't it?

Yeah.

Now. Will you do anything for me?

I'll do anything for you.

I think Fe'Tor wants your
females for more than just...

... you know.

What... does he want them for?

No peeking.

Can you smell it?

Just breathe it in.

Well, the base element of Freslin
is found in the senal gland...

... of sentient beings.

- Oh, you mean, like in... people?
- Yeah.

Fe'Tor's got a machine that milks this gland.

And... and when there's a lot of demand,
well sometimes he'll milk them until... they die.

You'll love it.

Can I open my eyes yet?

Why did you not tell us this earlier?

John...

These people... will not dance with me.

- No one wants to dance
- No. Go away!

- Look at the booty on that girl!
- The booty?

Sweetie pie. Why'nt'cha come with...

I should have told you everything,
but I was scared.

Fe'Tor's dangerous.

If Fe'Tor is so dangerous,
why help us at all?

My mate, Sarl...

...he's with Fe'Tor.

He doesn't look very well.

I mean, he's tall, he's good-looking.

I mean, look at me, I'm a nothing.

I tried to warn him, but...

I'm telling you everything because, when you
save your females, I want you to save Sarl.

Isn't that the guy...
that was with Fe'Tor last night?

Yeah. That's Mitols... his right-hand shill.

Well he could probably get us
in to see the girls, couldn't he?

'Course he can, but he's
never gonna tell ya.

Keep D'Argo busy.
I've got some business.

How ya doin'?

Man, were you here last night?
Was that wild or what?

I drink alone.

Yeah, I'm not really ah,
interested in drinking either, um...

I'm lookin' for some ah...
Freslin.

And I heard that you were the guy to see.

You like the Freslin?

Trust me.

It only hurts the first time.

Go away.

Okay, okay, okay, look..
let-let me give you somethin'.

I am loaded with currency.

And I'm lookin' for somethin' a little
special and this is the only crap
that I've been able to find.

And, uh... Kabaah told me that
you were the guy to see...

... to get some really serious dren.

If they drained that much fluid from her,
Crichton, she would be dead.

Shut up and let me tell my story!

You really must relax.

Struggle only makes it more painful. Hm?

Mm. That's you you're ingesting.

Kabaah sent you?
Why didn't you say so?

I just did.

Apex of the moon tonight.

Fe'Tor's chamber. Know where it is?

I'll find it.

We're auctioning some incredible dren.
This'll get you in.

My frelling head is killing me,
from that spray, you little tralk!

D'Argo, you can kill her later.

Right now, we gotta get the girls outta Fe'tor's.

So, what are we doing here?

'Cause I'm gonna help you, see?
I'm gonna make you a sorta disguise.

Hey, Hammerhead, how'ya doin'?
I'm back for some home video.

Get out, get out!

I don't think so.

I need to see into Fe'Tor's compound.

No, I won't help you against him.

Yes you will, or I'm gonna snap your head off.

Now I'm gonna see the compound layout.
You're gonna show it to me.

I don't care if it's empty,
but you're gonna show it to me now.

Eh, this is the auction room.

Not bad, all it needs is a big screen TV.

Ka-D'A-go!

No! ... It-It's okay,

that's um... that's Harvey,
it's not Scorpy. He's a puka.

He's... he's not real.

But thanks to our unique shared conciousness
in this situation, we finally get to meet!

Ka-D'A-go!

- Give me five!
- Go away.

I've had some weird conversations
in my head before, but this... is a little...

Yeah, I know. Hey, look.

Harvey just shows up every now
and then to give me bad advice.

And my suggestion to you both...
is to forget this folly.

But... since I know you won't.

Circuit breakers...

...to the entire subterranean level.

Darkness...

ah, may be of assistance to you.

You know what? I think that's not a bad idea.

And the milking room you seek?

Down the hallway.

Kabaah, show us the milking room.

Raxil, what is that thing?

That's where they drain the
bodies to make the Freslin.

Pleasure Planet, my mivonks.

We better count the steps in here.

One,two, three, four, five, six, seven...

- ...eight.
-... eight, nine, ten.

Ten steps.

- Uh-uh, eight steps.
- Ten.

Eight! Small legs, human.

Jool?

Jool!

Jool?

- Something wrong?
- No! No, no.

I-I was ah,
just tryin' to find Jool.

We should really be going.

You really are quite beautiful.

Yeah.

Where's Jool?

Don't be scared.
Everything's all right.

No, I will not go to Fe'Tor's auction.

- He knows what I look like...
- I'll get you in.

...so I won't get in.

And you're not spraying me with that stuff.

- This Freslin will be different.
- I'm not spending the rest of my life
on the dance floor doing some...

- No! You are not!
- Shut-up! Just shut-up!
I did not do everything...

plan everything,
so you could back out now!

- Did you say plan?
- No, no, no, I didn't mean plan.

I make a plan, like, like,

- like plan something, you know...
- Did you say that you planned this?!

No, no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no, no...

I got everything from the Transport Pod.
Two pulse pistols, a pair of night-vision goggles,

200,000 in tiles so we can buy any...
Freslin we want, uh...

- what did I miss?
- Two guns?

You brought just two guns?

This little rodent... has been lying to us.

- She said that she planned all this.
- Two guns?!

I mean, thought you were
the great Crichton and D'Argo?

I mean, you blew up
a Shadow Depository.

I mean, I thought you'd
bring pulse rechargers...

... and a plasma bomb...

...and a really big gunship!

But, no! You bring nothing!

You bring two little weapons
that wouldn't kill a Negnec!

You... have heard of us?

Yeah, I've heard stories.

But obviously they aren't
worth a bucket of dren!

What the frell have you done to her?

- Get her out of that thing, you fekkik!
- Chiana.

She's not in any pain.
Don't worry. Eh? Here.

Enough with the dren!

You really shouldn't waste... the taste.

Now, I'll let your friend rest,
but I need to replace her...

...with a new animal.

Now, I knew Fe'Tor wouldn't bother
your females while you were in the bar.

So I paid...

...the blue and green girls
to get you out of the way.

wait!

You let... Fe'Tor... kidnap Chiana and Jool?

No, I didn't help him. I just
created a situation where everyone...

Is there anything else you're not telling us?!

Nothing, nothing. I promise.

This little... tralk...

... has been lying to us all along.

So, what I suggest is...

Ah! Not again!

Please don't hit me. Please don't...

All right, you can hit me just once! Just once!

- Hello...?
- What?!

I've got a live connection. The Nebari...

Chiana...

They've begun milking her...

think you're going to be too late.

Ah... I was right!

You're exceptional.

Would you like a taste?

- Drain as much as you can.
- Without damaging her value, of course.

D'Argo, you should check this out.

D'Argo?

Who the... hell?!

Oh, you know... the Freslin I sprayed
him with, radiates his pheromones outwards...

...and creates an auro-morph.
So, we all see D'Argo like this.

I made him very attractive...
don't ya think?

What... are you talking about?

D'Argo?

No more! Enough!

Even I am not so gullible as to believe...

... that D'Argo turned into another... creature.

I do not appreciate the lies
you tell in order to circumvent...

Whoa, ho! Hold o

How long have we known each other?

Approximately two and half long cycles.

I ever lie to you? Hmm? Hmm?

D'Argo looked totally different.

Look at myself in the mirror?
I... ah...

And why does he not look that way now?

Metabolism?

Look, man, let me... can I please
tell the story the way I wanna tell it?

Mitols is almost ready for the Nebari.

What should I do about the other one?

Wring curls...
drain till failure.

She would only spoil the program.

I am your host.

But names are not important...
only currency.

Well, son, I'm your buyer, and ah...

money ain't important to me! Only quality.

Know what I mean?

You've come to the right auction then.

I recommend the Nebari.

- Finest I've ever tasted.
- Right.

Raxil...

...alive, still.

I thought you'd given the Freslin trade away...

... after your disaster on Elepuria.

Well, yeah, I did lemme tell ya,
but uh, things change.

Enjoy, Bid high. Excuse me.

Do I know you?

Hi...

I, ah... I doubt it.

I've become a... a new man recently.

"I made him very attractive."

15,000 on my right.
Have I any further bids?

16,000, 16,000 on my left.

There, any further bids?

Going once, twice, three times,

are you all done?
16,000, sold for 16,000 brandars.

You traded Freslin.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, years ago,
never killed anybody, none of it.

- None of it, my ass!
- No, no, no.

My point is, you must calm down.

Increased oxygenation hastens
the metabolism of the Freslin!

It's gonna wear off?

Not for a while, not if he stays calm!

Calm. Anger; bad.

D'Argo... be cool, man.

We buy the girls, Raxil's mate, if we can.

No guns, no killing...

...and we're outta here.

I'll watch you from up here.

Distinguished friends...

we now come to the sale
you've been waiting for.

I present... the olfactory genius...

Heska Fe'Tor!

Does this guy just scream Vegas, or what?

Heska Fe'Tor!

Friends... welcome.

Thank you for coming on such short notice.

What a fine auction this will be!

May I present to you... Chiana!

Metabolism, Luxan.

Bidding starts at 25,000.

25,000

30,000.

40,000.

- 50,000.
- 55,000.

60,000!

85,000.

What a wonderful bid, Heska Tinako.

Are there any others?

No?

125,000.

130,000.

If you don't mind, I'd like to take
a closer look at the carcass...

Be my guest.

Hey, Pip. Can you hear me?

Go away.

What took you so long?

150,000.

151,000.

Do you mind cuttin' this heifer down,
so I can take a closer look.

Where's Jool?

Milking room.

Wait, wait, wait, is she yours?

Used to be.

Look, you've got Freslin boiling in your brain.
Everything you feel's way out of whack.

What's going on down there, that's an act!
He's just pretending to be a buyer!

175.

250.

One quarter million brandars!

"Circuit breakers...

to the entire subterranean level."

I can double that bid if you
give me some more time.

No more time.

Currency... on hand.

Top the bid now, or step aside.

Sold! To Heska Tinaka for 250,000 brandars!

Did you have to caress her whole body!

- Oh for cryin' out loud!
- It's just the Freslin...
it makes him, you know...

Shut up!

Listen up... Mister Horney Toad!

Jool's still in the milking room.

I'm gonna hit the lights, and get Chiana.

Good,good, good, good.

Ah... well get Jool, and her mate...

...and then we'll wait.

And remember, ten steps down the hall.

Eight steps, human.

Don't do anything till I hit the lights.

No, no.

Yeah, the lights.

Good.

This is all your fault!

If you hadn't bribed
those women in the bar... none...

Easy, Luxan! Easy!

It's the Luxan!
Security, move!

Frell.

Raise you fity-dollahs.

Chiana!

- No, no, that's not right.
- It's eight.

- No, no. He said ten.
- Shut up I know what I'm talking about,

it's eight. You're making me lose my place!

Eight, eight! Shut up!

You're wrong!

Okay. Ten.

Drop your weapons.

Jool, are you okay?

Who's that?

That's my mate. He's dead.

D'Argo, save me!

- Crichton.
- D'Argo!

Where's Raxil?

In there...
The mate is dead.

Right, meet you in the Pod.

Raxil!

This... is my honey!

The brains of the machine.

My design!

He stole it, sold it.

Fe'Tor didn't even know it was mine!

Worth and fortune and all!

How's your neck?

It's... fine.
I don't mind stickin' it out for you.

You don't want these broken.

You okay?

- Yeah.
- Good.

Weird.

You ruined everything.

You smell... exotic!

Smell this.

- Neck still okay?
- Yeah.

I knew it.

Sad thing is... he's gonna die happy.

...and that is what it was all about.

Raxil... she was gettin' her
chip back, and she used us.

She used us, man.
So it is not our fault.

I don't... believe you.

Why not?

Too many... inconsistencies.

Too much... obfuscation.

Obfuscation? How the hell
does that translate?

Fine, you know, look,
you don't wanna believe me?

Go ask the girls!

Chiana and Jool are still sleeping
off whatever it was they did,

and I'm not inclined to wake them.

Pilot, I don't think you've understood me.
Lemme just start again...

Crichton!

No!

have located another planet nearby

Industrial.

Comms traffic indicates they have...
accomodations for visitors.

You and D'Argo are to be... visitors.

Pack what you need, we shall return
for you in eight solar days.

Pilot...

- it was real.
- Perhaps... John.

However, Moya and I desire time
away from your constant bickering.

And this adventure, however embellished,
does not alleviate that need.

Get out of here.

Okay.

You know, you really should get out more...

these things do happen.

- What, he didn't believe you?
- No.

- Well, what was that thing about a "slim duck"?
- Slam dunk.

Whatever. It doesn't matter,

- He's throwing us off Moya!
- Yeah, well, you want to give it a go?

No.

- See. I did my best.
- Your best was to blow it!

- I did my best!
- Well, you blew it!

D'Argo he's kicking us off
Moya 'cause we argue.

He's kicking us off Moya because you argue!

- No, we argue.
- You argue!

- We! You...
- You argue.

We argue... you would argue with a lampost!

- I do not... open the door.
- You open it.

You open the door!

What, you're a girl, I'm gonna open
the door for you? Open the door!

I-I'm older than you, show some
respect! You open the door.

- You can open it... I'm not openin' the door.
- I'm not openin' no door... you open it.