Farscape (1999–2003): Season 2, Episode 12 - Look at the Princess: Part 2: I Do, I Think - full transcript

The Queen offers Crichton a choice; marry her daughter the crown princess, or she'll turn him over to Scorpius. Meanwhile, Moya has found her builders, the ones who created Leviathans. They know Moya gave birth to a warship, and do not want another one born. They want Moya to shut down, permanently

No! No! I will not be a slave to your hormones.
- Aeryn!

It's you, I find pleasing.

Two drops from these little

and we can tell if our DNA's
compatible for children.

It's a whole world designed for
your rutting instincts.



You kissed our Princess.

Yeah, what the hell does that mean?
- I want you to consider marrying her.

You will rule, not because
you desire it Clavor,

but because I do.

If you're not going to be king,
Clavor, I'm not going to marry you.

When's the last time you
saw a Scarran on a diplomatic mission?

What is it, Pilot?

The Builders.

Moya's creators.

You must exchange espousals.
- But I love you.

After we're married, and I mean right after
we're married, they turn us into statues.

Oh, hello, Crichton.

My daughter or that


He's in my head.

He scares me Aeryn,
and I can't shake it.

I don't know what you're
talking about

but there's never been anything
we couldn't overcome together.

Except each other.

Princess, will you consent
to marry me?


Here's your wedding present
from Prince Clavor.

Now on Farscape...

Which branch are you with?

Which branch?

Jenavian Chatto, Disrupter,
Peacekeeper Special Directorate.

Which branch?

You should know I can't
tell you that.


Trust them to send in backup
and not tell me.

Yeah, well if it makes you feel any
better, they did the same thing to me.

So, what's your assignment?

Stay close to Prince Clavor,
my vapid little fiance.

And if he assumes the crown,
kill him.

Well that makes sense.

I admire your dedication.

I wouldn't let them make me
a statue for 80 cycles.

Interesting coincidence. I was
just having the same thought.

Are you wavering?

And if I am?

Would you hesitate to kill me
if I jeopardized the mission?

Jenavian, right?


My name is John Crichton,
an astronaut.

A radiation wave hit and I got
shot through a wormhole.

Now I'm lost in some distant
part of the universe on a ship,

a living ship, full of strange
alien life-forms.

Help me.

Listen, please.

Is there anybody out there
who can hear me?

I'm being hunted by an insane
military commander.

I'm doing everything I can.

I'm just looking for
a way home.

How you doing?

Get away from me. How dare you?

You want a piece of me, hmm?
Want a piece?

Help, guards, help!
- No, no, no, no.

Guards are taking five so the
brothers-in-law can get to know one another.

Look, I'm sorry. If someone tried to
kill you using my name, they will pay!

You're pathetic.

You cannot strike me.
I am royalty!

What do you want?

Nothing, darling.

I want off this planet.

Now you're going to find a way
to get Scorpius off my back.

Have we company?

Your sister, she gets to
marry who she wants.

And you get to be king.

Clavor, I'm trying to bathe.

Oh my, the future Mrs. Valiant.

We're just getting to
know one another.

You should get dressed.

Do not try to kill me again.

It makes me angry.

Is everything all right?

He needs a bath and a hug.

Get my mother.

Get my mother!

I demand better
protection for him.

You cannot assault a member
of the ruling house.

Well, he was trying to
have me killed.

You bitch slapped the trill.
- I did, yes.

We could find no evidence
of an attack.

Look, the same weapon
that they used on me

was used to disintegrate
the assailants, okay?

By a mysterious savior you
can't identify.

I was having my ass wiped across
the floor. I did not take time...

Are you doubting Crichton?

Well, it is a weird story.
- You are not helping. -Chiana!

I will upgrade security.

I will alert the Empress but I will not
accuse the Prince of treason without proof.

But you believe me, don't you?

The reason your charges against the
Prince will be met with skepticism

is that the Empress, and, by
extension the entire royal family,

abhors personal violence.

Follow me.

You humiliated me.

That's enough, okay?
You have made your point.

I don't think I have.

Clavor went to my mother and
detailed your obnoxious behavior.

My obnoxious behavior?


My brother poisoned my DNA,
I know, I am not a fool.

But he would never kill anyone.

Well, a Scarran might.

They are playmates,
you know that.

Look, if you don't want to
marry me, just say so.

I already said so.

Lady, we have been over this
ground with a backhoe.

It works for both of us.

It saves my life,
it saves your ass.

Okay, I did deserve that.

My mother now considers
you unstable.


She wants more medical tests.

Katralla, listen to me.

Your brother sent men
to kill me.

Now John cannot marry Katralla
if John is not alive.

Clavor is weak.

I cannot believe that he would
participate in such a heinous act.

That means you're lying.

And if so, I can't marry you.

Zhaan, there's no doubt.

The smoke tendril has
definitely invaded Moya.

Where, Pilot? Which way?

Directly above you.

Moving into the Maintenance Bay.

- Still moving through Moya's ducts overhead.

Down the wall.

Where? Which wall?

Pilot, where?

Ka-li-ta-na nash-po-nay,
ka-li-ta-na nash-po-nay...

Be calm, priest.

I am the ship's deity,
not yours.

Then you must be one of
the ship's builders.

One of those who gave
Leviathans intelligence.

Anybody can give a machine

We gave her a soul.

Then I welcome you aboard.

I have been through
Moya's system.

She is in good health.

And she has given birth.

To a male offspring
named Talyn.

A gunship.

Not of her choosing.

While held captive against...

Pilots do not speak to Kahaynu.

A capricious deity.

We created these beasts as
emissaries of peace.

Then you have succeeded,

Moya is a gentle soul.

And is able to reproduce ships
that can dispense carnage.

I am here to decommission Moya.

To end her existence.

Honestly, Chiana, as long
as Crichton's all right,

I don't know what else
I can do.

Go to him.

He's already made his decision.

He needs us now.
He needs you.

He needs more bodyguards,
and you said that's happening.

Have you even told him
how you feel?

He knows what he needs to know.

Look Aeryn, all men are
stupid, okay?

Men, stupid. If you want them to know
something, you've got to tell them.

I trust I'm not disturbing you,

but I'm planning a trip to the
edge of the Barren Lands,

to watch the pelgrinos migrate,
and thought...

No, thank you.

I sense unhappiness that your friend
Crichton is marrying our Princess.

Oh, yes? And why would that
make me unhappy?

I simply offer myself
as a diversion.

Besides, you never know.

We could be extremely

Now, don't feel bad.

It's not you, it's me.

I don't like you.


You certainly have made
your feelings clear.


So now you want to marry?

Well, it works for
the situation.

Look, John, I'd like to
believe you.

But our investigators have uncovered
no trace of the events you describe.

What about the guard that was
killed when they came after me?

Where's he?

He could be anywhere.

Yeah, he's everywhere.
He's in Heaven.

Do we know this?

I've never seen anything
like it before.

Obi-Wan had one.

Except his was a lot smaller.

John, it's locked!



Hello, can anyone hear me?

Open the door!


Get down!
- Help! Can anyone hear?

Get down!



Open the door!


Get down!

Is there another way out?
- I don't think so.

Just keep your face to the
floor, shallow breaths.


This way.


Come on. This way.

Katralla, come on.

I doubted you. I'm sorry.

Oh, it's all right.

It's just a burden being
right all the time.

Your word is worthy.

I will marry you.

That's unacceptable,
Dominar Rygel.

John Crichton may not leave this
planet, but I will protect him.

I've noticed how efficient
that is.

Security was tripled.

This device was unknown to us.

There was no way we could
predict its application.

You know why it's
unknown to you?

Because it's probably Scarran.

The same Scarran who's in
conspiracy with your son.

Silence. You may have once
ruled 600 billion,

but you will not
besmirch my son's name.

Aren't we past that, Novia?

You posture and deny any longer,
and we both lose what we want.

If Crichton leaves,
he will flee.

Not if you control the

Stash him somewhere.

Moya's gone.
He's got nowhere to go.

At least give yourself time to identify
the conspirators, other than your son.

Are you familiar with the
Jakench race?

The little green creature who
saved Crichton and your daughter?

Precisely. Her Elders Council has
sent a ship filled with wedding gifts.

It orbits unattended, unnoticed.

Excellent thinking.

Do you employ a detail of
guards above treason?

I shall send my very
own paladins.

I propose we tell no one.

Not my shipmates or
your daughter.

Let them all think that
Crichton's disappeared.

Throw them off the scent.

Encourage those who are intent
on assassination to grow careless.


You are most wise, Empress.

And you are most
manipulative, Dominar.

This servant. You trust it?

With my secrets and my life.

ro-NA will not betray us.

Something wrong?

It's so much currency.

One quarter down payment for
your excellent services.

Three times as much...

upon completion of
your assignment.

Do you know what this is?

A Trans-Sequence-ldent Wafer.

Do you know what to do with it?



I predict that very shortly

you'll be the wealthiest Jakench
in this part of the galaxy.

Thank you.

Interesting creature.

Pitiful, really.

Notify Lieutenant Braca that at
the conclusion of his mission,

There are to be no...

witnesses left behind.

Oh, to be there when the scales
fall from John Crichton's eyes.

I take it, we are clear.

No one following.

You show the way.

Dominar Rygel said you must
insert this before ascending.

I've already altered our
trans-sequence identity code.

We won't track as a
Leviathan Transport Pod.

He said it was a last minute security
procedure in case we've been compromised.

I'm sorry. I don't understand
these things.

I do not like skipping out
without people knowing.

I thought that was the point.

The point is to hide from my
enemies, not my friends.

Your Highness, the two attempts on
your life demand extreme security.

And counselor Tyno will be looking for
this new code on his tracking screen.

All right.

Thank you.

Buckle in, boys and girls.

Emergency exits, hamman side.

I'm driving.


You must arrest her actions.

Moya cannot be doing
this willingly.

She is shutting her own systems
down in sequence.

I cannot override.


Hear me!

Whatever this Kahaynu
has done to you,

it is not in your

How egocentric.

As if your way were
the only way.

I am a priest.

I have long ago come to terms with the
idea that alien life practices alien ritual.

But all life cherishes life.

Moya can reproduce gunships.

Moya must be decommissioned.

She trusts my suggestion
to guide her.

You will never convince me that
Moya is doing this willingly.

Then let her do it.











This is an abomination.

I'm so filled with
uncharitable rage.


You weren't going to tell us
that John was leaving the planet!

It wasn't my idea.

Grab Empress Novia by the
throat if you dare.

When did the Transport Pod

lmmediately after passing
through our weather layer.

There's been no signal
from it whatsoever.

Oh, did it explode?
- Not that I can tell.

Was it commandeered?
- Could it have landed somewhere?


This is Scorpius,
I'm sure of it.

No, the Scarran.

Hey! You and the Scarran,
not a good idea.

Remember the last time?

Let me try first.

I'll, uh... be with the

I'm sorry. I know the
worst is being left behind.

Is there a reason your ship is
so far from the others?

It's an automated cargo runner.

Isolation makes it harder to
find and discourages looters.

And why would someone want to
loot an empty cargo runner?

Only empty of crew.

It is filled with wedding presents
for the Princess and yourself.

No, no, no, no.

You have done enough. I'm going
to talk to the missus.

You can keep the presents.
You need a toaster, right?

Toaster, toaster, toaster...

Oh, I couldn't, Highness.

It's John.

Look, I'm going to be a
statue for 80 cycles.

Someone ought to use the stuff
while the warranties are still good.

Our culture frowns on

We live to serve,
not to possess.

So you don't own your
own stuff.

No. To what end does
possessory wealth serve?

Whoa, good question.

before I left Earth, I had a lot of
things that were very important to me.

No more?

I live in a converted cell.

I don't have a VCR,
no remote control,

damn, no Charlie Parker albums,

and I do miss my '62 T-bird.

T- bie, T-bie, T-bie,
oh... T-bird.

But you discover you need
very little.

Uh, do you miss not having
these things?

Not really. Priorities change.

I often wonder what I
would do with wealth.

Well, I tell you what. If there's ever
anything I can do to help you find it,

you let me know.

I shall remember those
words, Highness.

It's John.

Yes, Highness, yes.

Poor Katralla.
So unaware of what it takes.

To be a slut, Jenavian?

To keep a man.

I heard yours ran off rather
than marry you.

Somebody tried to kill him.

Probably my brother,
your fiancee.

What does that say about you?


That I pick winners.

You disgust me.

Hello, ladies.
- Let go of me!

Hope I'm not disturbing.
- Let go of me.

Now, listen to me closely so
that there's no misunderstanding.

I don't know what game's being played on this
little planet of yours, and I don't really care.

What I care about is that a friend of
mine is not hurt, in any sense of the word.

- How dare you! And if he is,
I will personally take revenge

on both of your overly
made-up faces.

He came into my chambers and he
affronted me before my fiancee!

I will have his head on a post.

Your Highness, silence!

Your gas attack on Crichton and
the Princess succeeded.

He has fled. You have won.

I assume the gas attack was yours.
I wouldn't kill my own sister.

Then you are perhaps
unworthy to be Regent.

Nevertheless, this impostor
to the crown is gone.

Your sister's birth-versary
approaches in two solar days.

Am I interrupting?


well of course I am.

Yeah. Yeah, it's so, so hard to
conduct a conspiracy without privacy.

Well, ask me. I should know.

What do you want?

I'm a Nebari.
You may have heard of us.

Leave this room now, child.

Well, you also may have heard how
we can defeat full Command Carriers.

Not to mention, uh...
mind cleansing.

We are both impressed
and daunted.

By all means, Nebari, continue.

So, uh... if anything happens
to John Crichton, expect, uh...

expect retribution.




What the hezmana was
that all about?

They don't know where
he is either.

You are going to rule.

Invader alert! Invader alert!

20 microts to force

Occupant lighting mode.

Reduce by half.

Wow, this place has an
interesting smell.

It's not exactly five star
hotel, is it?

But at least it's off
the main road.

- Get down!


Oh, how disappointing you
are in the flesh.

Oh, I get that all the time.

To think of all the energy
Scorpius expended on you.

Yeah. I'm not crazy
about it either.

Notify Scorpius as instructed.

Sub-pulse shielded frequency.

A little reunion is in order,
don't you think?


I've cut his transport loose.
It's drifting away.

The Marauder that's coming to pick
us up will need to dock in its place.

Now where's the rest
of my payment?

When Crichton is safely aboard
the Command Carrier.

That wasn't my arrangement
with Scorpius.

I want my payment.

Ah, that will be him now.

You do not get the toaster.

So no one knows where we are?

Both yours and this vessel have radically
altered trans-sequence ident codes

which identify us as
derelict refuelers.



In custody.

My commendations,
Lieutenant Braca.

See to it that our quarry
remain secure.

I want my payment.

But of course.

Lieutenant, reward our
Jakench friend.

And at the conclusion of the
mission, give her something...

additional from me.

Your admirable associate, Ka
D'Argo, was just here to see me.

Of course, since I have no idea
where you are, he left feeling,

well, unfulfilled.

Why don't you leave me
alone, Scorpy?

Because the wormhole technology
locked in your brain makes you,

to my knowledge,
unique in the galaxy.


And unique is always valuable.


Unique, unique.

Stop or I will shoot you.


You promise?
- Sit down.

I said, sit down.

Or what?

You're going to shoot me?

If I have to.
- Do me the favor.

I don't think so, you know.

I don't think Scorpy is going to
give you your badge of commendation

if you shoot "Unique."

Sit down, or I'll shoot your
limbs off one at a time.

Uh-uh. No, no, no.
See, Human, Sebacean.

Human, Sebacean.
We're different.

One wound, I bleed out.

Oh, Officer Braca,

what the frell happened, huh?

Hmm, hmm, hmm?

Fine, let's do it then!
Let's do this thing!

Come on, shoot me!
Right here, right here!

Oh, no, no, no, not the brain.
He wants the brain.

The heart, here. The heart.

You shoot me in the heart. Uh,
kind of your... left, right?

Oh, yeah, my right, your left.

My left, your right.

Here, John Wayne Bobbitt.

Vienna Boys' Choir.

You're insane!

My sex life!
Kill my sex life, now!

Quick, shoot! Just shoot me!


Ah, keep back! Get back or
the white boy gets it!

Oh man, don't let him kill me.
Don't let...

You people are so dumb.

Sit down!

What's he done?
- No, no, no!

Coolant pumps cycling,

fuel generation,

generators cabling,

weapons priming!
- Weapons?!

Shut them down!
Shut the weapons down!

Oh, oh, oh, shut 'em down yourself,
Braca! Shut 'em down yourself!

Undeclared craft, you have
engaged weaponry in a tactical free zone

surrounding the royal planet.

Excuse me!
Uh, should I get this?

Stay away from the comms!
- Power down your cells

and identify yourself immediately!
- Stay away from the comms!

I said get Crichton!

Undeclared craft.

You are in a tactical
free zone.

ldentify yourselves

We're so screwed, man!

We're going to die!

Shut down now!

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Look what you've done!


Oh, frell!

Ho, ho, ho!

You're insane.

What? You just figured that out? I
thought that was common knowledge.

We have got to get
out of here now!

Oh, really?

All right, then!

Do you want us both to die?

You didn't think I was going
to go alone, did ya?

Bye, Crichton! The ship's yours!
But I've got the helmet!

Oh, frell,

frell, frell, frell, frell,
frell, frell!

This is John Crichton.
I'm in the ship that...

This is John Crichton...

Focus, John.

Panic is unacceptable.
You will survive.


You must survive.


You've come too far to die.

Never get off the boat.

Never get off the boat, man!

Kahaynu, present yourself!


I will speak with you now.

The spirit of the warrior
resides in your priestliness.

The spirit of an executioner
within yours.

Pointless recriminations.

Is there anything else
you wish?

As a symbiotic part of Moya,
Pilot is trapped.

Build him a new ship so he...

he does not perish needlessly.

We are not prepared to do
more than we have.

I should say goodbye before
it is too late.

This is wrong.

I will not allow this!

I've, uh, spoken to the
Empress, John.

She's not going to do anything.

Three near-death experiences in a
day and she's going to do nothing.

The Empress has put Scorpius on notice,
the Scarran too, her son. Everyone.

Security's so tight, that last night they
burst into my room just as Chiana was, um...


I'm tired of this.

It's all politics, John.

As in neutral, powerful kingdom,
they expel someone during coronation

it will have negative consequences
which will ripple outwards.

You know, you're starting to sound
like an old history professor.

Rygel's been very excellent
at teaching me.

So, nothing has changed.



You could run as you
did before.

Or you could submit
and stay here.

Either way, I'll back
whatever you do.

I'm very proud of you.




Being Crichton.

The Crichton I always knew.

- Mmmm...

Getting my ass kicked all
over the universe.

Putting yourself into a position
to get your ass kicked.

Fighting, resisting.

Never giving up.

Aeryn, is there a way
off this planet?

Have you convinced Scorpius
to stop chasing me?

The Empress, is she no longer intent on
her daughter being heir to the throne?

Those are not good reasons
for getting married.

I know. Bigger picture.

Let's say that the idiot son
inherits the throne.

He starts wars.
He makes bad alliances.

Millions of people die.

80 cycles.

It's not that long of a time.

Oh, so you've rationalized
this all out, have you?

Aeryn, I'm tired.

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do
when there's no fight left?

You run away.

With you?

With all of us together.


You can’t just quit.

I'm not quitting.

I just can't go on.

Was I wrong?

You're no longer the
Crichton I knew?

I'm exploring the Barren Lands.

If you think you can keep up...

Moya has slipped from
my consciousness.

She is gone and I am
shortly to follow.

Don't feel sad.

Our lives were good.

Moya is right.

We are fulfilled.


it has been a pleasure.

I... am... ready now.

I have seen the stars.

Hey, bro.

Glad to see you could make it.

Much fortune.

You're making a, uh...

mistake, Crichton.

Oh, I don't think so, Scorpy.

I had one request for
a wedding present.

That you be banned from
this planet forever.

Do you know what they said?

Yes, Your Highness.


Not you.

In the presence of the spirit,

of all who have sacrificed so that
we may rule ourselves in peace.

I call public the joining of
my daughter and her betrothed

in the sacred ceremony that shall ensure
compassionate governance and harmony.

Should anyone among you feel
cause to sway the will of love,

to question the ability, the
sincerity or the destiny of this union,

rise now and be heard.

With your silence as

I invite you to now rise

and witness the crux of power pass
from one generation to the next.

You will now be wed.

It is more obligation
than honor.

You are not only responsible for each
other, but for the lives of your subjects.

Do you accept this burden
in matrimony?

Without hesitation.

Without hesitation.

As reigning monarch,

it gives me great pleasure to
formally introduce our successors,

the future Empress and Regent of
this great and peaceful civilization.

Katralla and John.

I smell power again.

Pieces of different kindling
often build the strongest fire.

Thank you.

Hey, you were great.

Where was she, D'Argo?

You must forget about
Aeryn, John.

Thank you.

I, uh, recorded some messages,
um, Zhaan, Pilot and Aeryn.

Yeah, I'll make sure
they get them.


Hey, I love you.
- I know.

All right, all right, enough
with the kissing and cuddling.


I will stand beside you for 80
cycles with love in my heart,

and long for the day when
we may revive.


It's calibrated only
for Sebaceans.

Endure the pain,
and rule wisely.

The time has come for
farewells, my friend.

Oh, this is not happening.

Just feel free to wake me
up anytime, D'Argo.

Well, now I can only
speak truth.

And that comes as good
and bad news.

All right, give me the
bad news first.

The bad news is that
you're married,

and you must endure as a statue
for 80 cycles in a strange world.

What's the good news?

Chiana and I are having
fantastic sex.