Fargo (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 9 - East/West - full transcript

Six fucking hours!

I had to piss in my shoe!

Where are we?

Pluto.

So tell me again.

He came to see you.

He needed guns.

They're gonna kill all of youse.
You know that, right?

Calamita.
Tell me again,

or I'll tie you to the bumper
and you can run.

J-jesus...



He-he came looking
for some hardware...

Uh, rifles, pistols...
Said he was hitting the road,

he had to kill some people
in kansas.

Kansas is a state.

Like I said,
liberty or-or liberal.

Who has he got to kill?

I don't know.
A swede? An irishman?

Now, shit, boy,
can I get out of the damn trunk?

Don't! No! God!

You ever meet you a korean?

Say again?

I ain't never met me no korean.

But truman says I ought to send
my junior over there

to shoot some.



Met a lady from thailand once.

I'm not sure
what you'd call her.

Radio said blue skies, but...

My hips are screaming rain.

You seen an italian fella
come through here?

Real skeletal-looking.

Wears a red coat?

Mostly we get farmers
round this way,

folks on their way
to salvation methodist

or consecrated lutheran.

Em and henry give ten percent
off all soda pop

if you pay with a bible quote.

This'd be yesterday,

maybe this morning.

Can't be that far ahead of me.

Hey, hey! Hey!

What are we stopping for?
Let's go!

Hey!

Hey!

Son...

Ain't my business,

but are you at all concerned
about that ruckus in your trunk?

Let's go!

- Nope.
- Hey!

Don't leave me in here!

Well, we the only
filling station for a good hop,

so if that fella's coming
this way,

we gonna see him by and by.

Mind if I pull around back
and wait?

Well, em and henry are
at church.

Like I said,
they real religious.

Don't usually see 'em
till evenings on sundays.

Still, ain't supposed
to dawdle with strangers.

I could help you get
these walls painted.

If by "help,"
you mean buy me a nehi

and pull me up a chair
while you work,

then you're on.

Hey! Where'd you go?

Come on.

We got work to do.

Well, what kind of work?

Gonna paint this building.

Go right ahead, your majesty.

You boys really think
you can run things?

White man called
my daddy "boy" once.

He ended up with wooden teeth,

just like george washington.

Yeah, yeah.

Personally...

I'm all for you coloreds
breaking even.

I mean, why should the bosses
get all the fat,

when we're the ones
down in the mud

- scrounging for dimes?
- Oh.

So you're one of us now?

No, I'm not saying that.

Just...

Say there's a turtle.

Turtle?

Hmm, king turtle.

He rules over
everything he sees.

Except he's a turtle,
so he's real low

- to the ground.
- I'm gonna put you
back in the trunk.

No, no.

Hear me out.

So, this king turtle,
he calls two of his guys

and he tells them
to climb on top of each other,

you know, like a ladder.

And he climbs on their backs.

So now he can see further
but still just, like, 50 feet.

So he calls even more turtles.

And one by one,
they get on top of each other.

And up he goes.

Till all the turtles are
in a pile.

And old king turtle,
oh, he can see for miles.

Except...

The guys on the bottom...

Are getting crushed.

And I'm saying...

Today we are engaged
in the final all-out battle

between communistic atheism
and democratic christianity.

The modern champions
of communism

have selected this as the tim.

And, folks, the chips are down.
They are truly down.

"when a great democracy
is destroyed,

"it will not be
from enemies from without,

but rather because of enemies
from within."

I have here in my hands
a list of 205 names

that were made known
to the secretary...

how much farther?

Hours, not days.

What is it?

Someplace to kip.

Couple of nights.

Get our heads on straight.

(Istling)

what's that smell?

Fresh air.

What does it say?

Sleep with one eye open.

Huh?

We'll be needing a room
for a night or two.

Plymouth rock or sutter's mill?

What?

Things work a specific way
around here,

so I got to figure out
where to put you.

Plymouth rock or sutter's mill?

Well,

that's in california, yeah?

Mccarthy or eisenhower?

Oh, we don't follow politics.

Eisenhower it is.

Uh, lastly...

Old testament or new?

Which is the one where
you get to be born again?

That'd be the new.

West side it is.

Any bags?

No.

- He your valet?
- We take care of each other.

Hmm.

The sisters don't much care
for colored folk.

- "sisters" as in nuns?
- No. As in sisters.

Picola and iola crumb.
They the owners.

And like I said, they don't care
much for coloreds.

I understand. Come on, kid.

- We'll find someplace else.
- Now hold on.

Didn't say they had a rule.

Just said
they don't care for us.

Steer clear of them,
you'll be right as rain.

Come on. I'll give you the tour.

This is the sitting room, for
board games and conversating.

Mm-hmm.

What's with the line everyplace?

Well, now, the sisters,
they ain't got along

since the dust bowl days.

But neither will renounce
their claim to the premises,

so I ask y'all questions,
and given your answers,

you either go west or east.

Why east or west?

Why any one thing or the other?

Just is the way it is.

This is you and the boy.

Hey.

Bathroom's down the hall.

Towels in the armoire.

You need anything else,
we probably ain't got it,

but it don't hurt to ask.

- I'm hungry.
- Well, they put supper
on the table

at 5:00 each night.

Fish sticks,
maybe even some potatoes.

Green beans from a can.

It ain't much, but it's better
than boiling your shoes.

I call this one.

I saw some books in the den.

You can read up here
till I get back.

Where are you going?

If we're gonna hide and stay
hidden, we need money.

It so happens
I laid some away in town.

I've got to retrieve it, alone.

But-but there's a hospital man
next door, all bandaged up.

A man's a man.

If you can't run,
just do like we practiced.

Thigh, stomach, chest.

- Can't I ride with you?
- No. Remember,

if I don't come back,
I'm dead or in jail.

Shit.

You can see in here,
this is frost-resistant,

so you don't get it
on your food.

Let me tell you a little
about kenmore...

I'll be with you
in a moment, pal.

Now, kenmore is all about
freedom from your cooking cares.

- I'll have to ask my husband.
- Oh, all right.

- You want to take
a catalog, ma'am?
- No.

All right. Have a good day.

Happy new year,
uh, in anticipation.

What happened to the feed store?

Well, now, old miss gingerly,
you know, her three boys

all passed in the great war,
so, desolate with grief,

she, uh, turned over operations
to her brother virgil,

and he promptly gambled away
the family fortune.

There, uh,
used to be a wall here.

Well, yeah...

Yes, sir, yeah, yeah, there did.

Can I interest you
in a dinette set?

Maybe a "dee-van"
for your boudoir?

You the new owner?

Yes, sir. Beachwood indiana.

Me and my brother haskell,
the younger,

we, uh, bought the place
at auction.

Oh, now...

just when we was
starting to hit it off.

Uh, back in a jiff.

T. Woodman catalog store.

Yes, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

You, too.

All righty, then.

Hey, come on. Come on, girl.

Good girl.

Rabbit?
Is that your name?

Wait. Wait up!

Come on, girl.

Hey. Come on, girl.

Wait. Wait.

Well, now we got a secret,
you and me.

How's that?

The sisters can't abide spirits
of any kind.

Alcohol, I'm saying.

I know what spirits are.

East or west?

Huh? Oh.

West?

You best step to this side
of the line, then,

in case they're watching.

Hunk swindell's the name.

Aluminum siding's the game.

That your canine?

I found her upstairs.

Yeah.

Ask me a question.

- What?
- Dale carnegie.

How to win friends
and influence people.

"six ways
to make people like you."

number one... become genuinely
interested in other people.

So ask me a question.

Um... You got any food?

Make 'em laugh.

Yeah, that's rule number nine.

Hard to dislike a man
what's got a funny bone.

Me... I got two, plus the gift
of gab, ever since I was a boy.

But it wasn't till
I found mr. Carnegie

that I really learned
to channel my thoughts into

a strategy for success.

Who's this now?

Ain't got a name, I don't think.

I'm just calling him "boy."

you ain't from texas by chance?

No, sir.

Oil fields as far
as the eye can see, I heard.

Instant millions.

All you got to do is get off
the train.

- That's where I'm headed.
- Yeah.

My new friend's got a bit
of gold rush fever.

Better than knocking on doors

with nothing
but a briefcase and a smile.

Ain't nothing in this world

impossible if'n
a man's got the right attitude.

Said stay in the room.

But the dog got out.

Whose dog?

Mine.

We've had a setback.

Things ain't the way I left 'em,

which... Only a fool thinks

the world's gonna stay
exactly as it was.

So there's that.

But I worked the problem,
and I think... I got a solve.

I think she likes me.

I'm glad you're having
such a nice day,

but I don't want you wandering
the place while I'm gone.

Last thing we need
is unwanted attention.

Come and get it while it's hot!

Wait. That...

hey.

Stay.

My name's hunk swindell.

This is hickory j. Milch.

And you're...

- Uh, pastor roanoke.
- Pastor roanoke.

Very good, and, uh, this is...

No coloreds at the table.

What?

I said,
no coloreds at the table.

My side, my rules.

- Sit down, sweetie.
- What?

Hey, glad you could join us.

We were just going around
the room, doing introductions.

Uh, you met myself
and young hickory.

Uh, on the east side,
there's pastor roanoke

- and his wife.
- Mother.

Mother.

And across from them,
uh, that's the major,

hero of wounded knee, and his...

Uh, millie is my niece.

So now you know who we are.

Uh, the name's duffy.

And this is my ward... Colt.

- What?
- Said he's an irishman,

and the negro is his ward.

Say the blessing already.

Food's getting cold.

Almighty father,
we pray thee, sanctify

this food
that it may strengthen us

to do and endure thy holy will.

Here's
a good one that can't fail.

Lord jesus, hear our prayers
and bless us with thy bounty

in this life and the next,
for where there is risk,

there is always reward.

Amen.

What kind of cockamamie blessing
is that?

It's a prayer for prosperity.

Son,

that ain't how you talk to god.

It's how we conversate with him
out west.

Heathens.

So, duffy, what brings you
to this neck of the woods?

I heard there was some
honest work up at sioux falls.

Planning to make
a fresh start of it.

Well, that's damn peculiar,

if you ask me.

White man traveling
with a negro child.

What?

Said he don't much care
for colored folk.

Oh...

What line of work you in,
partner?

You ask a lot of questions.

Guilty as charged.

Dale carnegie... rule number one.

But I'll lay off you.

- Mm-hmm?
- Tell me a story, seymour.

Well, which one do you want,
sugar plum?

Uh, let's see.
Hansel and gretel.

Or would you like
the legend of goldilocks?

Hey, funny you mention that.

I was talking
to a fella on the train,

must've been, um, winter last,
works in publishing.

Did you know
that in the original goldilocks,

it was witches, not bears?

In any case, he tells me,

think about this poor girl,

no home of her own,
just wandering the woods.

This fella said
that to his mind,

goldilocks is
the classic example

of an outsider
in search of himself.

If you think about it,
the story's got no ending.

I mean, the bears...
They get justice...

Chasing an intruder out
of their home, but for the girl?

Well, she's back out
in the cold.

No family, no home.

Doesn't fit in anywhere.

I thought I said
leave the dog in the room.

She'll get lonely
and she'll bark,

and that's unwanted attention,
right?

Right?

- The future is what?
- How's that?

What's it gonna say?

Wait till it's finished.
Then you'll see.

Well... Finish the damn thing
already.

Moment I finish it,
I'm out of a job.

Plus, what do you care?
It's just a sign.

It's the principle,

making people live
with uncertainty.

It ain't right.

Send a letter to your
congressman, you're so irate.

And in kansas city today,

the mayor is calling
for additional law enforcement

as the war between organized
crime syndicates heats up,

following yesterday's
deadly shoot-out

at the kelsey slaughterhouse.

- Is this where your money is?
- Stay put.

Lock the doors
and don't talk to nobody.

And quiet the mutt.

- You're being paranoid.
- You didn't see him.

Like a poison pack
of cigarettes.

He asked about the wall.

Maybe he's just
an enemy to change.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm saying, maybe he liked
things the way they were.

You know, I've half a mind

to drive over to the cemetery
and make ma take back

when she said
you was the smart one.

Well, if this fella comes back,
we'll show him.

Show me what?

Both of you in the office, now.

You found something
that belongs to me.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

The money. Where is it?

What money?

Not gonna ask again.

I-it's in the safe.

What's left.

Open it.

M-mister,
what were we supposed to do?

A bag of money in the wall,

opening a store
with mouths to feed.

You, you thank the lord
is what you do.

A-and count every dime.

Not your money.

We bought the store
as is, mister.

Leaky pipes, bag of money,
what have you.

That's the american way.

There was five grand in here.

Boy, is this your car?

You got a hearing problem
or something?

What are you doing?

Just waiting.

For what?

I got a wife.

I... I ain't married yet.

Who's gonna feed the dogs?

Step out of the vehicle.

I didn't do anything.

Come on, do it now.

- I'm just waiting.
- I said out of the car.

Now.

Quiet.

Is there a problem, officer?

- Is this your car?
- Yes, sir.

He with you?

Yes.

- And what's your relation
to this kid?
- I'm his guardian.

Who talked you into
that cockeyed arrangement?

Well, now, I served
with his daddy in the war.

Jerries killed him
on armistice day.

Can you believe that?

First man killed in peacetime.

Least I could do was care
for his offspring.

Well...

You want my advice,

you gonna travel
with a colored kid

in a town like this...

Just keep him out of sight.

Yes, sir.

Appreciate that.
It's, uh, all new to me.

I'm hungry.

Supper's in an hour.

Maybe they got something
in the kitchen.

I could look.

I've changed my mind.

We're leaving tonight.

- After the meal.
- Can I bring rabbit?

- No.
- Why not?

'cause I said so.

Don't need
another mouth to feed,

and she's always barking.

But I could teach her
to be quiet.

I said no.

What's that about?

- I just wanted one thing.
- One thing?

Huh, what are you on about?

One thing for my birthday.

Your...

What?

When the hell is your birthday?

Today.

Hey. You wouldn't happen to have

a cupcake or a candy bar
or something?

For the kid.

It's his birthday, see,
and I didn't know and...

Mm-mm, the sisters
don't believe in sugar.

But there's a filling station

eight or nine miles
down the road.

Probably get him a cupcake
or candy bar or something there.

Thanks.

If the kid comes looking
for me...

Just tell him
I'll be right back.

Hey!

Hey!

What the heck
does that even mean?

Got me.

Could be a statement

as to the underlying
unreliability of time.

Or a testimony

along the lines
of "seize the day."

they don't pay me to write 'em,

just slap 'em up.

Which I did.

And now it's done.

And I find myself once more
at a crossroads,

unemployed.

So I...

Suppose for me,

the future I once feared
has arrived,

as predicted
by this very billboard.

I am alpha

and omega.

The first...

And the last.

And what thou seest,

write it in a book

and send it
to the seven churches

which are in asia.

I just woke up.

Come closer.

It smells like rain.

Ah, worry not.

For it is written...
No more flood.

The fire next time.

I'm looking for my friend.

I fell asleep.

Come closer.

I'm... I'm gonna
wait in my room.