Fargo (2014–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - The Narrow Escape Problem - full transcript

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Each character in this tale

is going to be represented

by a different instrument
of the orchestra.

For instance, the bird will be
played by the flute,

like this.

Here's
the duck, played by the oboe.

The cat, by the clarinet.

The bassoon
will represent Grandfather.

The blast of the
hunter's shotguns,

played by the kettledrums.

The wolf, by the French horns.



And Peter, by the strings.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Good. Then I'll begin.

Okay.

It's a safe deposit box.

Number 1606.

My guess,
they stashed the stamp there.

What about the key?
Wouldn't I need the...

Lost when you redecorated
the study, tell him.

Oh.

Don't forget. Got that meeting
with the high roller later.

Burt Lurdsman,
plumbing supplies.

I really feel like this is it.

Our ship coming in.



Remember.

Richest guy in the room
is always the boss.

Welcome to
Capley Bank and Trust.

You picking up
or dropping off?

What?

Oh, I'm just playing.

You wanna make a withdrawal
or a deposit?

Oh!

-I... I, uh...
-Oh.

It's okay, Milly. I got this.

Sorry about that, ES.

Milly just moved
down from Bemidji.

You've got to learn the faces,
huh.

--Sorry.

No, that's...

Everybody has a first day.

Would you get
the man a cream soda,

for shit's sakes? Jeez!

Thanks again for
those Gopher seats.

Ham was tickled pink.

My sister's boy. You remember?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.

I, uh...

You know, I don't
got a lot of time here.

Oh, should be back in a snap,
Milly. Uh...

More in the "nice to look at"
category than, say, brainiac.

I was hoping
to get into my box.

You've been working out, yes?

You seem bulked up.
Been hitting the weight room?

I, uh...
Hitting the buffet, more like.

What with the wedding and all.

Oh, I hear you. All that
cake tasting.

I am so sorry, Mr. Stussy.

No, that's...

You're fine.

Let the man breathe, girl.

Uh...

I lost the key,
is the thing, to my box.

Redecorating, thrown out with
the old credenza, you know.

Is that gonna be...

'Cause what's in there,
I really need,
you know, today.

Well...

Uh...

Hate to be a stickler, ES,
but, uh, without the key,

well, we, uh...

No, I, uh... I...

We have to drill
the lock and, uh...

I get it.
Makes sense.

What we should do
is order a new key.

Won't take more than a week,
and that way, you know,

order's maintained.

You understand.

You know what?

Forget it.

Just go ahead and
pack up all my accounts.

I'll take a check if you don't
have that much cash on hand.

Now, Emmit,
there's no need to...

No, it's fine. I understand.

You don't want to help me.

A lost key like it's some kind
of national tragedy,

but you got your order.

Rules and the like,

so I'll find a bank maybe
puts the customer first.

Call Mike.

Hold on a sec, ES. We're...

You know what?
We'll just drill that sucker.

No problemo. It'll take two
seconds and then you can...

Whatever you need. Just fetch
whatever's in there.

Not that I know
or need to know what's...

So I don't have to carry
my accounts over to Chase?

Chase? That's, uh...

You're such a kidder.

You really had me
going there for...

Let me just get my keys.

While you're at it,
I'll take 10 grand in hundreds

and a buck in quarters
for the meter.

That's, uh... Well, of course.

You'll just have
to fill out a...

Or, you know what?

I'll get the paperwork
handled myself.

Although, ES,
may I suggest, um,

well, it's just that
whenever you take out

anything more than $10,000,

it automatically triggers a...

Buck,

if I wanted an opinion from
an asshole, I'd ask my own.

Got it?

Well, don't keep me
in suspense.

The stamp wasn't there,
but I got this.

Christmas.

How much did he have,
his account?

I don't know.
Uh, maybe $1 million.

Your brother has $1 million,
and you took,

what is that, 10 grand?

Now, see, that's the criminal
mentality, your old life.

And what do you...
Hardwired patterns.

But we're not crooks.

This is the principal,

what's right,
fair market value for the...

What he took, the stamp.

Who's Luverne?

He did what?

Oh, believe me,
I'm pretty ticked myself.

I loved that dog.

Plus the money, of course.

Christ on a stick,
you think you know a guy.

I mean, used
feminine hygiene products

in a man's desk drawer
is one thing,

but now,

the ridicule of
beloved remains.

"Cremains" is the, I think,
preferred nomenclature.

This is
the last thing we need.

What with this Varga mess

and poor Irv
not even being cold yet.

See and that's, uh...

I was gonna talk
to you about that.

Suicide is what
the authorities...

The conversation I had.

Old folks get depressed around
the holidays and all that,

but I don't know.

Character like this Varga,

I'm just saying, you can't put
anything past him.

Christ.

What are we in the middle of?

We ought to consider
meeting this widow Goldfarb.

Sell the company?

-That's a little...
-No, no, not sell.

Just, I'm saying,
take the meeting.

Buck says she's cash-rich
and looking to buy in.

And it feels like
we're getting pulled

into something
sticky here, so...

Yeah.
Yeah, that's good thinking.

What the shit are they up to?

When Putin was a boy,

he already knew
he wanted to be FSB.

He lived in the well,

kept a photo of Bergin
by his bed.

Bergin,
who squats in 1920 dirt,

gives birth of GRU, later KGB.

Godfather.

And this boy, Putin,
he learns sambo,

rules the yard school
by his fist.

You see, in Russia,
there are two words for truth.

Pravda is man's truth.

Istina is God's truth.

But there is also nepravda,
untruth.

And this is the weapon
the leader uses.

Because he knows
what they don't.

The truth is
whatever he says it is.

I don't get what's
so complicated here.

You take a born loser,
add a drug addiction,

remove a job,
fill his pockets with holes,

mix in cold turkey,

you think this guy
isn't gonna drive around

randomly looking
for someone to rob?

Yeah.

But then why tear a page
out of the phonebook?

Choose a house?
Doesn't that imply that...

There you go.

Using
three-syllable words again

for a one-syllable problem.

First, that's
a two-syllable word...

Let me tell you
what I saw in Fallujah.

Men, okay?

My men laying in the dirt with
their guts in their boots.

How does that...

With all respect...

You know what an IED is?

It's like car parts
and dynamite.

You either run one over,
or you don't.

That's it, see? It's random.

Or bombs in
our American streets.

Who gets killed?

Will you decide to walk
your dog that morning

or mow the lawn?

Your problem is
you're overcomplicating this.

Books under the floorboards,

an unapproved trip
to goddamn Hollywood.

Told you.
I'm paying for that myself.

Not the point.

Not the...

Look, I get it's personal,
this one.

But we're talking
simple wrong place,

wrong time.

A hopper with
an itch on a spree

who met the business end
of a Maytag.

Cosmic justice, good riddance.

So what do you say

we stamp this file
"Case closed,"

move on to the calm and
orderly transition of power.

Sheriff, I hear you.

I do.

I'm not trying
to stir things up.

No, I think you are.

I think you got resentments
over being made to cow,

kiss the ring.

I had boys like you
in the service.

I'd tell them to go right,
they go left.

All of them, to a man,

went home in a bag.

Well, I'm home already,

so I'm gonna spend
a few more days on this one,

see how it goes.

Hi.

I need the parole officer
for Maurice LeFay.

Mmm-hmm.

That'd be Ray.

He's in with a felon
at present.

-Point me to the ladies.
-Mmm-hmm.

Oh, Lord.

My Lord.

Come on already.

You wouldn't...

Friend.

You wouldn't have
a putter-inner by chance?

How's that?

Or a pad?

This is not the way
things were supposed to go,

but the Lord must have...
Not to get...

Anyway,
if you could find your way

clear to abetting
a sister in need,

one who is
supposed to be with child,

but apparently is not...

Uh, sorry, I don't have...

Regulations, you know.

We're not meant to
carry a purse, and I'm...

It's not my time of the...

I could ask the clerk.
She might have...

Oh, no, don't burden yourself.

Well, what are the odds?

--Second female in uniform.

You said regulation,
and I assumed...

Winnie Lopez,
Saint Cloud Metro.

Uh, Gloria Burgle,
Eden Valley Police.

Oh, and chief to boot.

Uh, for the moment, anyway.

Sorry, I got about 100 pounds
of TP crammed in there.

Been cranky as a female dog
since breakfast,

and now I know why.

We've been trying,
me and Jerry,

for months now. Yeah.

Like those old
Road Runner cartoons

with the wolf
and the sheep dog,

how you punch
a clock to go to work?

It's mostly missionary,
if I'm being honest.

We used to spice it up,

but now it's about
the shortest distance

between two points.

I've...

He'd pop faster from the back,
if I'm being honest,

but I think it's important
to look each other in the eyes

when it comes
to making babies.

You got kids?

Uh, one. Nathan. He's 12.

Oh, that's what Jerry wants.

A shortstop or a
switch-hitting third baseman.

Me? I've got my
fingers crossed for a girl.

- Well, I better hit it.

Here on a 10-30, leaving
the scene of the accident,

except the vic don't
wanna press charges,

turns out so. You?

Um, murder.

Jeez!

Yeah.

Well, happy trails.

I know, baby.

It's all I can
think about, too. I...

Look, I'm no psychic,
but how does he not fund us?

And if not, well,
we got capital now.

Oh, I've got to go. Yeah.

Yeah, you, too.

I love you.

Hi.

I already told
the other girl everything.

The other...

Oh, no, sir, I'm not
here about the accident.

Gloria Burgle,
Eden Valley Police.

I'm, uh,
looking into the, uh...

The, uh, murder of...

Now that is...

Truly, what are the odds?

You said "murder"?

Yes, sir, of Ennis Stussy
in Eden Valley.

And here you are,
how many miles away,

a Stussy as well.

Well, I mean, it's...

Go figure.
It's a pretty common name.

I got cousins all
over the darn place,

not that I'm saying that
this fellow was a cousin,

although who knows?
Could've been.

Well, reason I'm here,
one of your cons, Maurice.

He's most likely the culprit.

We got evidence shows he broke
into the victim's house,

tore the place apart
looking for something.

Hmm? Maurice LeFay?

That's the one.

Air conditioner caved
his cranium, I heard.

Heard that as well.

Saw it, in fact.
Not a pretty picture.

All the same,

just 'cause the perp passes on

doesn't mean
the investigation halts.

There's a question of why.

- "Why."
- Yes, sir.

Fellow drove 30 miles

without knowing
his destined address,

finds Ennis
out of the phone book,

and then searches his house

like he knows
there's something there,

like he's looking
for something in particular.

It's unusual.

Well, I mean,

-he liked his reefer.
-Is that right?

Smoked a heck of a lot.

In fact,
he blew his piss test.

Was gonna grab him up
when I heard the news.

"Death by major appliance."

So I'm not sure how
much more I can...

But if I think of anything...

All I can ask, sir,
if something pops to mind.

We're moving offices,

so I wrote the new
number on the back.

"Chief."

Ignore that. We're doing
some restructuring.

They always find a way
to screw you, don't they?

They try.

Jeez!

Hey, Ray.

Yeah. I'm just running out
for a home inspection.

Yeah?

Let's table that for now.

Yeah?

Have a seat, Ray.

--I, uh...

You know the Deputy Director.

Yes, sir.

How are you today, sir?

Shit sandwich.

It's a problem, Ray.

I, uh...

Can't have this, Ray.

Intermingling
with the clientele?

You swore an oath.

Well, to be fair, sir...

Not a literal oath, I'll give
you that, but implied.

For Pete's sake, it's
right there in the handbook.

Don't bang the cattle.

First off, there's probably
broken glass down there.

Second...

Second,
it's against the damn law.

Which...
I've got to give it to you.

The Swango skank,
you could fry bacon on, but...

-Now, that's...
-I'm saying she's hot.

-No, I...
-That's not the point.

That's right.
That's not the...

Son,

read my lips.

You're in a shit storm,

and we're the ones
holding out the umbrella.

You gonna take it?

Well, that's...
What is that...

I'm saying that if you tell us

that it was a one-time thing,

that you lost your mind
for a moment,

then we can go to suspension.

Hmm? Huh?

Slap you on the wrist,

or maybe on
the dingus would be better.

I love her.

Son.

That's wrong.

That's not
the way to go here, Ray.

And you know what?

She loves me.

Look at her.

A girl like that,
and she loves me.

We're getting married.

We got plans, big plans.

Not if we revoke her.

Now, hold on just a...

Consequences, Mr. Stussy.

That's the way
the cookie crumbles.

Maybe a few months
at Stillwater

will straighten her out.

These rules
aren't just for you, Ray.

What if she's
manipulating you,

using her poontang
to hoodwink and bamboozle?

See, that's what they do, son.

-I thought you knew that.
-Look.

Punish me.
That's fine, but don't...

If there's any
fealty whatsoever...

She's not a recidivist.

We're not talking
a common criminal here.

Whatever problems
there were for her

are in the past.

We...

We've got plans, like I said.

Won bronze in
the Wildcat regionals.

And there's a sponsor,
Lurdsman.

He's a...
Kitchen supplies or...

He's gonna sponsor our run.

Bridge, we play.

For the love of God,

you can't send her back.

You've got 10 minutes
to clean out your desk.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

And you're gonna
sign a paper saying

that you're not gonna sue us
for wrongful termination

or whatever half-cocked scheme
comes into your head

once the shock wears off.

You got my word.

We had your word,
for all the good it did us.

Good evening. Stussy Lots.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Be sure to tell him
in the morning.

You have a good
night yourself.

Sy.

Law enforcement's here.

That's, uh...

Nobody asked for that.

Sir, I'm Officer Lopez,
Saint Cloud Metro.

Is there a place
we could talk in private?

That's...
I didn't call the police.

No, sir. It's...

I'm investigating
an automotive flapper

in the driver of a Humvee

registered to
this Stussy Lots.

Did vehicular damage to...

Fine. Fine.

Let's...
Not here.

I just want to say upfront,
this is a total waste of time.

Uh, yes, sir.

And I've already talked
to the one complainant,

and he's not interested
in pressing charges.

See?

To wit,
one Raymond Stussy works

for the parole board,
and I have to ask,

any relation to
the Stussy on the marquee?

That's fine. I can check that.
It's just that, um...

I ran the registration
on the offending vehicle

and saw that
the Humvee in question

was registered to
your parking lot concern.

But it's unspecified
in the paperwork

as to who here is
actually driving it.

Well, that's...
I'd have to look.

That'd be great.

You mean now?

If it's not too much trouble.

I mean, it's after hours.
People are out.

Just leave me your number.

The girl in HR can run it
through in the morning.

What's her name?

I'm sorry.
I'm confused. You said...

What I heard was

the offended party
wasn't interested in charges.

Right.

Yeah, that's complainant one.

Complainant two,
the waitress I mentioned,

she got hit on
the way out of the lot.

She is hopping mad.

Just paid her wagon off,
apparently.

That sounds like
an insurance matter.

Yes, sir,
except the driver in question

left the scene of
the accident at speed,

and that's police.

Well, like I said,

am I talking to
myself here, or...

Soon as
the girl's in tomorrow,

I'll have her
call up that info,

and we'll get it over to you.

Okay, sir. Well, I sure do
appreciate your time.

Not sure what's keeping Ray.

He's super reliable normally.

You'll see.

A rock, really.

It's kind of his bellwether.

I'll...

Let me call him again.

I feel that maybe
we started poorly.

Jesus, it's dinnertime.

Schweinekoteletts.

Pork chops.

With applesauce, but...

Marvelous.
We'll talk as we eat.

Now, that's not...
Just a... Goddamn!

A step too far
is what this is.

Coming to my home.

Why do I feel that
you're not happy we met

when all I want to do
is make you rich?

Look around. I'm already rich.

No, you're not.

I wish you'd let us
sit at the real table.

In the dining room.

I'll let you into a secret,
madam.

I was a housemaid's boy,

and I ate three meals a day
in a kitchen below ground,

so you're making me
feel right at home.

Mmm.

And how are you this evening,
young lady?

That's Mama, the matriarch.

But she doesn't talk,
not since the stroke.

That's a shame.

I bet she had
a lovely speaking voice.

I wish you'd told me
about company.

Ah! That's my fault.

I do have a tendency
to drop in unannounced,

but, you see, the thing is,

Emmit and I have such
amazing opportunities

ahead of us that...

Well, you know what they say
about time being money.

- Really?
- Mmm.

I don't want to talk business
in front of them.

Emmit, don't be rude.

I don't mean to gossip,

but, um, are you English
by any chance?

What gave it away?

No, I like to think of myself
as a citizen of the world.

London, Manila, Johannesburg,
Tokyo, Rome.

You've been to
all those places?

Hmm. And more.

In fact, that's what I want
to talk to your husband about.

About broadening
our partnership,

or a broad in it,
if you'll pardon the pun.

--Partnership?

He's exaggerating.

We have some dealings
more in the realm of finance.

Yeah.

Maybe he's right.

We shouldn't be
broadcasting our intentions.

It's just that
your husband, madam,

is a consummate businessman.

He's a true professional.

I learn something
from him every day anew.

In fact,

I brought those contracts
you asked me to draw up,

if you'd like to review them.

And now might I be
so forward, madam,

as to ask for
the location of your WC.

Our what?

He means the crapper.

Emmit.

It's just down the hall
on your right-hand side.

Right.

What?

I'm not making you
a partner in my company.

You just blew in
on the wind Thursday.

I'm calling Sy.

Ah. And here's me
thinking you were the boss.

In the favelas of Brazil,

there are six-year-olds
with Glocks.

They roam in packs, stealing
whatever they can find.

Mexican lowlifes

stream into this country
like wolves,

eyeing our women and children.

In the Congo, a family of six
live on 10 cents a day.

You turn on the TV,
what do you see?

Boat people.

Mass migration.

You're living in the age
of the refugee, my friend.

Look, if you won't
take back your money,

well, I can't make you!

You see it, don't you?

Millions of people bought
houses they couldn't afford,

and now they're
living on the streets.

85% of the world's wealth

is controlled by 1%
of the population.

What do you think
is gonna happen

when those people wake up

and realize you've
got all their money?

Hey!
I just charge for parking!

Oh, you think they're
gonna ask questions

when they come with their
pitchforks and their torches?

You live in a mansion.

You drive a $90,000 car.

It's a lease
through the company.

Look at me.

Look at me.

This is a $200 suit.

I wear a second-hand tie.
I fly coach.

Not because
I can't afford first,

because I'm smart.

So look at you,
and look at me,

and tell me who's the richer.

I feel like this is
a trick question.

There's an accounting coming,
Mr. Stussy,

and you know I'm right.
Mongol hordes descending.

Now what are you doing
to insulate yourself

and your family?

You think you're rich.

You've no idea
what "rich" means.

"Rich" is a fleet
of private planes

filled with decoys
to mask your scent.

It's a banker in Wyoming
and another in Gstaad.

So that's action item one,
the accumulation of wealth,

and I mean wealth, not money.

What's action item number two?

To use that wealth
to become invisible.

Why does it smell like
an unflushed toilet in here?

Oh, we had a...
There was an incident.

Is this where you hung it?

What?

The stamp.

The famed Two-Penny Red U.S.
misprint.

If I'm not mistaken, the "2"
was the wrong way around.

How do you...

It's all very Old Testament,
really,

this feud between
you and Raymond.

Do you know
there are 25 chapters

in the book of Genesis

that refer to
the feuds of brothers?

Cain and Abel, most famously,

but Joseph was
betrayed by his brothers

and sold into slavery.

Not to forget
the sons of Isaac.

"And my brother Esau
was a hairy man,

"but I am a smooth man."

Then not another peep.

Corinthians, Leviticus.

You'd think all
the brothers of history

had worked things out,

but, of course,
we both know that's not true.

Now, just wait a minute, pal.

I don't know what
you're or how you...

But private matters
between me and my...

I hear things.

I hear them because I listen.

I see them because I watch.

Emails.

Phone calls.

- He came.
- Who?

Well, now,
the fella from the...

Ermentraub?

No. Different fella.

Don't wanna say too much
on the phone.

Just...
You better come down here.

You can never be too careful.
That's my motto.

You see, I've got
great plans for us, Emmit.

Can't you just
take the money back?

No. No, my friend, I'm sorry.

You're in the pan,
and you know

where you go
when you leave the pan.

-The...
-The frying pan.

You know where you go
when you leave.

-Into the fire.
-Yeah.

They're coming.

Pitchfork peasants
with murder in their eyes,

and me, your guardian angel,

which is why
I went to the Minnesota

National Trust this morning,

and they have
agreed to increase

your line of credit
by $25 million.

How?

By acting as your agent,
your partner.

So, here's some of
the papers you need to sign.

I've studied your books,

and, uh, you're not just

in the parking lot
business anymore.

What business am I in?

The billionaire business.

But first you need
to tell me, uh,

is your brother
going to be a problem?

Ray? No, he...

It's just a dumb rivalry.

And the girl?

I don't...

I mean, he's,

honestly,

a loser.

So what else could she be?

Just then
Grandfather came out.

He was angry because Peter
had gone into the meadow.

It's a dangerous place.

If a wolf should
come out of the forest,

then what would you do?

But Peter paid no attention
to his grandfather's words.

Boys like Peter
aren't afraid of wolves.

-Mom.
-Huh?

I said it's time for bed.

Well, go on and get
your teeth brushed.

I'm right in the next room.

Mom, I'm not a baby.

You're my baby.

Hold that thought.

Hi-ho.

Little off the beaten path,
aren't you?

I went by the station,
they said...

Fudge, you were turning in.

That's okay.
You want some tea?

Yeah, sounds good.

So remember I was telling you
about my hit-and-run?

A Humvee in
a restaurant parking lot,

-two other vehicles involved.
-Hmm.

So I run the plate
number on the Hummer,

and it's registered
to a corporation

in Saint Cloud, a company car.

Seems like you're
crossing all the T's.

Not sure how it's...

Well, okay, then.

So, after I see you
in the commode,

I go see this fellow
that works there,

and something strikes me odd.

The name.

See, it turns out
that one of the victims

has the same last name

as the fellow
that owns the company

that leased the car.

So I looked it up,
and, get this,

they're brothers, which...

Then I remembered that

you were at the Parole Board
about a murder,

and so I looked it up.

I mean,
Eden Valley's had one death

by foul play in 16 months.

And the victim's name is...

Ennis Stussy.

With the same as...

My suspect's parole officer.

And his brother,

who owns the company
that leased the Humvee,

and who lives, get this,

in Eden Prairie.