Fargo (2014–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - A Muddy Road - full transcript

(PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(PHONE RINGING)

(PRINTER WHIRRING)

(PHONE RINGING)

(SIGHING)

(EXHALES)

Okay-

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(EXCLAIMING)

Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit!

No, wait. Tell him... tell
him I'll pay it all back.



I... I... I swear...
No, no...

(CHOKING)

(GURGLING)

(GASPS)

(COUGHING HOARSELY)

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

(GASPING)

Please!

For the love...

I got kids.

Don't move.

Please, please.

MAN: She won't stop,
you know.

(WHIMPERING)



(ENGINE ACCELERATING)
(TIRES SKIDDING)

(CRASHING NOISE)

(GASPING)

(PANTING)

MAN: (ON RADIO) ...first prize is
three fun-filled days in Bismarck.

So get your entries in
lickety-split.

The contest ends Friday.

"MOLLY". Pleased to meet you.

So, uh, this is where he worked?
WOMAN". Yeah...

in accounting.

Just typing away and this
other fella comes in,

drags poor Phil
out by the necktie.

Nice guy, too.

Super. Such a pity.

Gambling problem, I heard.

You don't say?
WOMAN 2: I heard drugs.

I heard he, like, slept
with a 13-year-old girl.

For Pete's sake, Bob! Don't
spread rumors about the poor man.

No, it was gambling, for sure.

I got the security tape
queued up downstairs.

Want to see that?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

MOLLY: Hard to tell much.

AUERBACH: Like I said.

(SIGHS)

Can you freeze it there?

You say you found the victim's
clothes in the garage?

Phil? Yeah.

Lab says the fella cut 'em off with a knife?
Damn peculiar.

So, you think this is your guy?

The one who killed all those
people over in Bemidji?

Could be.

It's a nasty enough fella.

Who are you?

(POP DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Great job, okay?

In through the nose and
out through the mouth.

Ladies, you are looking great, okay?
Keep up the good work.

Well, hello, you.

You got bronzer on
your blackmail note.

Listen, listen, listen.
I swear on my...

You couldn't find a smaller
room for us to talk in?

What?

Nothing.

Look, this...
this whole thing,

huge mistake.
Okay, I never meant...

See, I just... I just wanted
something for Don, you know?

You done?

Here it is.
You're screwed.

You made a choice
and this is the consequence.

Me, I'm the consequence.

Please, please
don't tell Helena.

I don't work for Helena.

I work for her husband, Stavros
Milos, the Supermarket King.

On, my God. (SIGHS)

Oh.

Here. Squeeze this.
Yeah.

(GROANS) Oh, no.

You ready?

I've got two questions
and one comment, understand?

First question, why $43,613?

Gonna start a Turkish bath.

See, back in
the Ottoman Empire...

Second question,
what do you know?

About what?

Stavros, the guy
you're blackmailing.

You wrote a note,
"I know about the money."

What do you know?

Uh... Nothing, really.

I mean, Helena told
the story so much...

about her husband and how
he lies about his money.

So you're blackmailing a guy for
something but you don't know what it is?

Are you ready for the comment?

You're an idiot.

Good news.
I'm taking over.

Taking over what?

The blackmail.

You work for the guy.

Exactly.

And now you work for me.

I'm confused.

That's okay. I'm not.

The first thing we need
is a new blackmail letter.

Hey, Maggie.
Lieutenant in?

(MOUTHING)

What?

(WHISPERING)
He's in the bathroom.

Ah.

(SCHMIDT COUGHING)

Um...

Lieutenant?

What?

I'm takin' a dump.

Yeah, so, listen.

About that triple
homicide over Bemidji?

Oh, for Christ's sake, talk
to your shift commander.

Well, yeah, I would, you know,
but he don't listen to me.

Who's this?
Dan Hoskins?

Uh, no, sir.

Gus Grimly.

Grimly?

For Christ's sake, aren't
you animal control?

No. I... I just sub for
those fellas sometimes.

So, listen... I pulled this car
over the other night, a speeder.

And, uh... well, I let the guy
go with a warning, but then...

Well, it turns out...

I ran the fella's plates
on account of what you said

at the briefing about
watching our P's and Q's.

And, uh... well,
it turns out that the car

belongs to one
of the... victims.

(BELT BUCKLE RATTLING)

One of the...
What?

Are you kidding me?
No, sir.

Lester Nygaard, that's who
the car is registered to,

but he wasn't
driving, obviously.

So I'm thinking maybe
it might be the killer.

Shut up.

For Christ's sake! You
pulled over a stolen car

and let the guy go with a warning?
Well... It wasn't...

See, it wasn't
listed as stolen, so...

And now, I checked
this morning,

and it's impounded,
as of yesterday, so...

Stop.

It's goddamn Sioux Falls
all over again.

Yes, sir.

(SIGHS)

What... what's
Sioux Falls?

Shut up.

You're gonna look through every
goddamn mug book in the state.

Yes, sir. And you're
gonna find this guy.

Yes, sir.

And you're gonna
call Bemidji...

and you're gonna tell them
that you screwed up. You.

Absolving the rest of us
of any dipshittery.

Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.

PEARL: He can afford it,
your brother.

Kitty said he just
got a big promotion

after only
working there a year.

Kitty said they
also got one of those

fancy new
surround sound systems.

Guess I married the wrong Nygaard.
(LAUGHS)

Or what?
What are you gonna do?

You can't even face me
when we're having sex.

VERN: Lester, I need you
to get down on the ground.

LESTER: Hold on. Don't...
There's nothing down...

Lester, on the ground.

That's not... I
didn't do nothing.

I didn't... I just got home.
I just got home and...

Now, hold on. Hold on.

Don't... There's
nothing down there...

There's... That is not...

I didn't do nothing!
I didn't do nothing!

I just came home.
I just came... Oh, jeez.

BO: Yeah, so I closed it out
with a spare and a strike.

Two-twenty-two.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Lester.

Well, I'll be...
Hey... Lester.

I should've called,
l guess, huh?

Please.
What can we do for ya?

Well, l thought I'd... do some work.
You know, get back to it.

You're so brave.

Jeez, ya think you're ready?

Think so.

Yeah, I mean, you can't just sit
around the house, you know?

Good. Okay.

You want to do
some filing or...

I was gonna run
out to see Gina Hess.

Who's that?
The widow Hess.

Got some papers
for her to sign.

Yeah.

On account of Sam, her husband.
He got murdered.

Bo!

Sorry, was that insensitive?

Anyways, did you want
to take that over to her?

Which'd actually
help me out a lot,

'cause I got a dentist
thing, you know, so...

Um...

But, I mean, if you're not ready...
No, I'll...

It's the 6-14 C, right?

And D, yeah.

Did you get the soup I sent ya?

Oh, yes, thank you.

Well, I better
grab those forms.

Mmm-hmm.

Here we go. Come on.
Got it.

Oh!

Whatcha doing here, loser?

Yeah, loser.
Whatcha doing here?

Come on, boys. I'm just
here to see your mom.

Yeah? Why, you want to do her?

Yeah, loser, you gonna...

Wait, he's not really gonna
have sex with our ma, is he?

He better not.
Nobody's...

(SIGHS) God damn it,
get off the guy.

And quit shooting
up the lawn sign.

Never gonna sell this place, you
keep filling it with arrows.

LESTER: Yeah, they've sure
got a lot of energy, huh?

They're wolves.

What do you want?

Well, ma'am. I'm...

My name is Lester Nygaard
and I'm from Munk Insurance.

Oh.

Well, why didn't
you say so? Uh...

Yeah, come on in.
Thank you.

Do you want a whiskey?

Oh, uh...

Have a seat.
Oh, thank you.

Sorry about the boys.
They're animals.

Really.

They fart on everything.
The walls, each other.

When do I get my money?

Uh...

Can I... can I?
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, um...

First of all, I would
just like to say

how sorry I am about your husband.
Mmm.

We went to high
school together and...

Yeah, that's sweet.

But about the money...

Yeah. Uh...

Well, I have some forms.

Now in cases where the deceased

was killed...
Murdered, I mean...

Mmm-hmm.

The process is
a little different.

What do you mean?

Well, and I'm going
through this myself.

We have to wait
for the coroner...

Wait a minute.

You're that guy.

I saw you at the cemetery.

Oh, yeah, that's...

Your wife was killed, right?
And the Chief of Police.

He was murdered at
your house, right?

Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

I think you better
have that whiskey.

You should get back out there.
You know... date.

(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(CHUCKLES) You're not
a bad looking guy.

A little small, maybe.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Did you like her?

Your wife.

My husband was...

Well, you knew him, right?

Didn't get better.

Yeah, how did you...

In Vegas.
Oh.

I was a dancer.

Well, a stripper, if we're being honest.
(CHUCKLES)

You ever been to a strip club?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

No. No.

Seriously?
No, I mean,

you know, I always
wanted to, but...

Well, I was good.

Yeah.

I got great tits...
(LAUGHING)

and I'm super flexible.
Oh, wow.

Hi.

And that is how I met Sam.

And he started flashing
all this money around,

telling me how he was gonna
take me away from it all.

Blah, blah, blah.

I was 19... so stupid.
Hmm.

And now here I am stuck in the
Yukon with my two mongoloid sons.

Oh, they're not so bad.

I've taken shits I wanna
live with more than them.

Yeah.

(LAUGHING)

Now...

So, tell me, handsome...

Oh...

What's a girl got to do
to get that money...

quick?

'Cause I will do anything.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, God.

Sorry, man.

(SIGHS) Not again.

(GRUNTING)

Jesus.

What'll it be, stretch?

I need some Adderall.

You got a test, is that it?

Big final, need to
pull an all-nighter?

Exactly. High dosage, too.

Just pretend I'm a 300-pound 9-year-old
who can't finish a sentence.

Here we go.
30 milligrams.

Don't take two of these
and think you're gonna nap.

It's basically speed.

So why don't we say...
That'll work.

How about a zombie kit?

What's that now?

Zombie kit. Shotgun,
machete, some Bactine.

It's a side business.

I make up these knapsacks
for the zombie apocalypse.

You know, in case the
undead come back to life

and the world
gets all dog-eat-dog.

It's already
dog-eat-dog, friend.

Not sure what worse a bunch
of zombies could do.

Oh, my gosh!

Look at you.

Oh, my gosh.
Look at you.

So that's your uniform, then?

Yeah, yeah, this is it.

And you got a gun
and everything.

Nah, it's made out of wood.

Seriously?

No, no, it's a real gun.

On. (LAUGHS)

So, how's your dad, then? Great.

Yeah, still got
the restaurant so...

Fun.
Yeah.

So, I heard about
what happened.

The murders.

Jeez.

Yeah, yeah.
It's a muddy road so...

I bet.

You dating anyone?

Me? No. (LAUGHS)

No, you know me.

I'm just an old ship captain.

You know, I'm
married to the sea.

So, you live in
St. Paul, then?

Yeah.

Moved, like, right
after high school.

Nothing ever happens
in Bemidji, ya know?

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

And Ted got the job.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
How's Ted?

Good.

We're divorced now.

On account of... he had intercourse
with his physical therapist.

Oh, jeez.
But I'm doing good.

Great, really.

Been meeting men
on the Internet.

Online dating?

Oh, yeah.

So, that's been fun.
Really?

'Cause sometimes, you know,
you hear stories, so...

Well, from time to time,
you get a bad egg.

Like, there was a fella...
had a harelip.

And another stole
all my panties.

(LAUGHING)

But then I met Roger...
Mmm.

And we've been dating
about six months now.

He took me to Acapulco.

Ooh.
Yeah.

Except he got a spider bite,

like, on his neck.

And at first we thought
it was a mosquito,

but it turns out the spider laid
eggs in there or something,

'cause we were in
the middle of doing it

and all these baby spiders
popped out of his neck.

(LAUGHS)

Jeez.

Yeah, lesson learned, you know?

From now on, lam staying
right here in Minnesota.

Sounds right.

So... you girls ready
to order some food?

(BARKING)

STAVROS: King!

Here, King!

King!

Here, King!

Kingie-the-King!

King!

Here, boy! Here, King!

King!

Come to daddy!

Kingie-the-King!

Where's my little monster?

Here, boy.

Come on, King.

King!

What the hell?

King!

BO: (ON RAND)
...before the worst happens,

call the best,
Bo Munk Insurance.

So come on down to
Bo Munk Insurance

and see me, Bo Munk,
before it's too late.

(SIGHS)

Jesus.

(GROANING)

Oh, God.

Is that...

Oh...

(GRUNTS)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

LINDA: Lester?

We're all of us
going for Arby's.

Do ya... Can I
bring ya anything?

No. No, thank you.

Okay, well, see you
in a bit, then.

(PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

on! (CHUCKLES)

You scared me there.
I thought the place was...

I was...

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, uh...

Well, that's...
excuse me.

Hello.
MAN: Uh, Mr. Nygaard, please.

This is Lester.
Yeah, Mr. Nygaard,

this is Duluth Impound.

Just want to let you know
we got your car.

Uh, pardon?

Your car, license 628633QI.

Got towed yesterday from
Phoenix Farms on Elm.

In Duluth?

Yes, sir.

Oh, just take
anything you like.

So what have I got to...

Just need proof of current
registration and $150

and we'll release the car to you.
Okay, well, well...

We'll take cash only.
Uh...

Thanks for calling.
Yeah, remember. Cash only.

Yeah.

(CHUCKLES) So... what can I
do for you fellas, then?

'Cause we're...
kind of busy right now.

Hmm?

What's that?

No, sorry, I...

Sam Hess.

Are you fellas, uh,
family of his?

(CHUCKLING)

Lester, we saw you
with the widow.

Looked like you
were having a party.

You celebrating, maybe?

No, come on.

God.

I got a deaf cousin.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, uh...

Hi. (CHUCKLING)

Uh, excuse me.

Uh...

Sorry about the door.
Not sure how that happened.

Not interrupting anything?

No, no, no. Just giving
these guys a quote.

So, like I said, you know, it's
300 a year, plus 200 up front.

Okay. Look through that
and give me a call.

Sounds good.
Talk soon, Lester. Deputy?

Who were those fellas, then?

What's that?

Not from around here,
I'm guessing.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah, yeah.
From the city, I think.

Said they were going to...
Where was it again?

Mexico? Yeah.

Had some questions
about vacation insurance.

So, uh, speaking
of insurance...

Now, look, l talked to Bill, so
if this is about the case...

Oh, no, just looking
for a little advice.

With Vern dead, and I know
we're not talking specifics,

but with him dying,
l got to thinking.

You know, I'm a single person,
but I got my dad and stuff.

So I got to thinking, what
would happen to him, then.

Yeah?
Yeah.

No, yeah. Very...

Because a lot of
girls your age,

they don't think
about these things.

You know the...
posthumous and so on.

So, I thought I'd come
see you, you know.

Maybe buy a poney. Oh!

And I got all my
info here, you know.

Social Security and the likes.

Oh, jeez. So sorry.

You need some help with that?

No, I got it.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Okay. Well... Uh...

Okay, well... Uh...

I got a lot... You know
there are lots of choices,

policy-wise.

And of course I could give you the whole...
long speech.

Please, I got time.

Well, I could give you
the whole long speech,

but, you know, (STUTTERING)
it's all in here.

All the details, really.

Oh, and I gotta
close up real soon.

Okay-

Thank you for your time.
That's okay.

Uh...

Look over all that stuff
and give me a call.

(LESTER CLEARS THROAT)

Bye.

(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOOR OPENING)

He killed my goddamn dog.

You said you
were gonna find him.

He raised his price.

$1 million?

He killed my damn dog and
now he wants $1 million?

Eat a turd is my response!

And if it's your ex-wife?

Son, you think my ex-wife
killed the damn dog?

It wasn't the wife,
ass-hat!

She's mean, but she's got
a human heart in her chest.

Hell, she loved the damn
animal more than me.

No, this is different.

Some sick bastard gets off
on hurting little things.

Who else knows about the money?

Nobody. Nothing to know.

Must be something...

or he wouldn't be
blackmailing you.

No, nobody knows.

Nobody can know.
It's impossible.

Meaning?

You like that?

St. Lawrence.

Patron saint of hard-asses.
Burned alive by the Romans.

You know what he said?

"Turn me over.
I'm done on this side."

That's a goddamn saint.

You Greek Orthodox?

Why, 'cause I'm Greek?

Let's just say
God and I have a...

You ever make a New
Year's resolution?

Stop smoking?
Lose weight?

And then...

Hell, I don't know.
You're the expert.

I want the damn
dog killer found.

I'd like to move onto the
property till this thing's over.

He came to the house once.
He might do it again.

There's an in-law next to the garage.
Semenko will show you.

But I am losing patience.

Get it done.

(SIGHS)

It's goddamn hot in here.

You looked through all those?

(SIGHS)

What?

It's just...

(SIGHS)

your dad made a mistake.

I let a guy go
that I shouldn't have.

And now I got to call
this other jurisdiction

and tell them that, uh...

'cause of me their
suspect got away.

Hmm.

Probably better to do it
in person, don't you think?

What's this, then?

Our suspect.

Oh, Yeah'?

Security camera caught him
kidnapping the naked fella.

Kidnapped him naked?

No, dressed.

Phil McCormick.

Our perp cut his clothes off
in the parking garage.

No kiddin'?

Yeah.

So, here's the thing.

I took the photo and
I showed it to Lester.

Did what?
Not officially.

No, I told him I was interested

in some insurance,
which is true.

And then I just happened
to let him see the photo

and you should've
seen his face.

I mean, it's like
he saw a ghost.

Lester knows
this fella all right

and not from some casual chat.

Got to say,
I'm super ticked here.

Yeah, okay, but before you...

I told you
don't pester the guy.

I said, he's not a...

And then, what do you...
I never said he was...

And then what do you do?

The next day even?
Yeah, but...

What if he is involved, you know?
I mean, think about it.

No!

The guy just lost his wife
and you're boxing his ears.

Yeah, I know, but...

Solve the naked guy.

That's the case I gave you.

If this is your suspect, put out
an APB and we'll get him in.

Sure, but, you know,
what if he and Lester...

(SIGHS)

You know what? Just tell them
the truth and say you're sorry.

That's what you always tell me.

You're a good girl.

As far as you know.

Just sit there, I'll be...
I'll be back.

Yeah, hi, I'm, uh...
(CLEARS THROAT)

I just drove over
from Duluth PD.

I need to speak with someone
about Lester Nygaard.

Hey, yeah, hi.

I'm Deputy Solverson.
What can I do for you?

Well, um...

Maybe we should
talk at my desk?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah? All right.

Have a seat.

You want some coffee? The
guys just brewed a pot, so...

Uh...

No, I... I just
got to...

I'm good.
Okay.

So, uh... three days back
I'm on patrol, you know,

and I pull this guy over,
silver Taurus...

ran a stop sign.

And I...

I gave him a warning, see.

But then, I don't know,
I just... I had a feeling.

What kind of feeling?

A bad feeling.

Real suspicious, like.

So, I ran his plates
and it turns out

that the car was registered
to one of your victims.

What?

Yeah.

Lester Nygaard.

Son of a...

He told me his car
was in the shop so...

Oh, Yeah'?

Yeah.

Well, here's the thing. Um...

Lester wasn't driving.

Now, I know that now because I
checked the plate but at the time...

This fella, maybe?

Holy cow.

Yeah.

That's...
I think that's him.

How did you?
Security camera...

caught him over in St. Paul
kidnapping an accountant.

No kidding?
Yeah.

So, listen, one thing
I'm not quite clear on.

You said you
only found out later

that it wasn't Lester driving.

But, I mean...

you checked the fella's license
and registration, didn't you?

Well...

(SIGHS)

You see, I asked...

but he... threatened me.

And I...

It's... it's...

I know, it's no excuse but...

I...

He's a really
dangerous looking fella

and he had these
really scary, uh, eyes.

And I just...

GRETA: Dad?

Yeah?

Could I get a dollar
for the vending machine?

Yeah.

Hold on. Yeah.

Actually they...
they give us these tokens.

Just put that in the coin slot.

Great. Thanks.

(SIGHS)

How old?

Greta? Yeah, 12.

She's a real good kid.

Her mom at home?

No.

It's just us, 10 years now.

They're outta M&M's.
GUS: Ah.

So, you two drove all the
way from Duluth, huh?

Yeah.

Well, uh...

I was gonna grab dinner. There's
a good burger place nearby.

So, you two want to join me
before you head back?

Oh, no, no, no, we don't
want to be a bother.

It's no bother.

We'll talk about the guy, you know.
See what you remember.

Maybe a clue drops out.

It's Lou's. Just a couple
of blocks up the street.

Let me just put an APB out on
this guy and I'll be right there.

She seemed nice, huh?

What?

Ay, caramba!

Just you two?
No.

A very pretty lady
will be joining us.

Duluth PD?

Yes, sir.

You associated with Ben Schmidt?
Think he's a lieutenant now.

Yes, sir. He's my boss.

Kind of a prick.

That's the one.

Yeah.

Yeah, we had a deal together
once in Sioux Falls...

joint task force situation.

Boy, that was a rodeo.

MOLLY: Hey, Dad.
Hey, sweetie.

I think I'm gonna need
a milkshake tonight.

Better make it a double.

Me, too?

Uh, yeah, okay. You gotta
eat something green.

Same here and some
burgers all around.

LOU: Sounds good.

(CLEARS THROAT)

So... it's a bit
strange, huh?

This Lester fella never
reporting his car was stolen?

His, yeah. Pretty sure he's mixed
up in some nasty business.

So, you got a boyfriend, then?

No.

Pretty girl like you?

Too young for a boyfriend.

Yeah, you keep
telling yourself that.

Hey, you ever heard of a spider

laying eggs in a person's neck?

What's that now?

Friend of mine said it
happened to a friend of hers.

Gross.
Yeah.

Said they were...

He was sleeping and all these
baby spiders just ran right out.

Not sure if I want
to live in a world

where something like that
can happen to a person.

I put bourbon in one of 'em.

Whoever finds it wins a prize.

He's only kidding.

Ooh, wait. No, l win.

LOU: Burgers will be right up.
(CHUCKLES)

GRETA: Thank you.

(GUN PARTS CLICKING)

(CHORAL MUSIC PLAYING
SOFTLY ON EARPHONES)

Hey there, Lester.

Hey-

So, which one
makes the biggest hole?

MALVO: And behold
the daughter of Pharaoh

came down to wash
herself in the river.

And her maids walked
by the river's brink.

And when she saw
the basket in the sedges,

she sent one of
her maids for it.

And when it was brought,
she opened it

and saw within
an infant crying.

And having compassion
on it, she said,

"This is one of the babes
of the Hebrews."

And she adopted him for
a son and called him Moses,

saying, "Because I took
him out of the water."

One day, after Moses
had grown up,

he went out among his people
and saw their affliction.

He saw an Egyptian beating
a Hebrew, his brethren.

Looking this way and that way,
and seeing no people,

Moses slew the Egyptian
and hid him in the sand.

(GASPS)

(STAVROS SCREAMING)