Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 2, Episode 25 - Amusement Park/Rock Stars - full transcript

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[HORN HONKS]

- LOOK OUT!
- HEY!

HURRY, TATTOO, HURRY. YOU KNOW
THIS IS MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK.

I KNOW, BOSS. IT'S THE DAY
WHEN THE CHILDREN COME.

- TATTOO...
- YES, WHAT?

YOU JUST FINISHED READING THE
SHERLOCK HOLMES BOOK I GAVE YOU

AND HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME
A MASTER OF DISGUISE, RIGHT?

- HOE DID YOU KNOW?
- ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR TATTOO,
ELEMENTARY.

COME, IT'S TIME TO
MEET THE BALLOON.

YOU ARE LOOKING AT
THE COLLINS FAMILY.



SCOOTER, WILLIE, ROB,

AND THEIR SISTER JODIE.

THANK YOU, CAPTAIN BALLOON.

WHAT'S THEIR FANTASY, BOSS?

TO GET AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS?

OH, FAR FROM IT, TATTOO. THEY
LOVE THEIR PARENTS VERY VERY MUCH.

THEN WHAT'S THEIR FANTASY?

ONE SHARED BY CHILDREN ALL OVER THE WORLD,
TATTOO. TO BECOME INSTANT ROCK STARS.

THEY ALL WANT TO. DO
THEY HAVE ANY TALENT?

A GOOD QUESTION, TATTOO.

A VERY GOOD QUESTION INDEED.

NEXT IS THE ACES HIGH MAGIC CLUB

FROM SAN FERNANDO, CALIFORNIA.

ALONG WITH DARIUS SCOTT
AND THEIR CHAPERONE,



DARIUS'S AUNT ANDREA.

MAGIC? YOU MEAN
THEY'RE ALL MAGICIANS?

TO VARYING DEGREES, YES. DARIUS
HIMSELF IS QUITE ACCOMPLISHED.

AND HE ENJOYS TEACHING HIS
FRIENDS HOW TO ENTERTAIN OTHERS.

[TATTOO] ONLY THREE IN THE CLUB?

THAT'S NOT A VERY BIG CLUB.

WHAT'S THEIR FANTASY, BOSS?

TO PULL OFF WHAT DARIUS
CALLS THE GREATEST TRICK EVER.

THIS WEEKEND THOSE
CHILDREN ARE GOING TO RUN

THE FANTASY ISLAND
AMUSEMENT PARK.

DARIUS HOPES TO
HAVE LOTS OF FUN,

BUT AS I TOLD YOU, MY FRIEND,
DARIUS IS AN ACCOMPLISHED MAGICIAN.

AND ONE CAN NEVER BE SURE WHAT
A MAGICIAN MIGHT HAVE UP HIS SLEEVE

ONCE HE HAS YOUR ATTENTION
CENTERED WHERE HE WANTS IT.

MT DEAR FRIENDS, I AM
MR. ROARKE, YOUR HOST.

WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND!

WOW, WHAT A LAYOUT!

CHECK OUT THE ICE
CREAM FOUNTAIN!

FORGET THE ICE CREAM.
NOW LOOK, I TOLD YOU GUYS

TO LAY OFF THE JUNK FOOD, OKAY?

AH, THE COLLINS FAMILY.

MR. ROARKE, YOU'RE JUST
THE MAN WE WANTED TO SEE.

I HAD EXPECTED TO
SEE YOU AT THE POOL.

WE HAD A COUPLE OF
THINGS TO SO FIRST.

YEAH, LIKE TAKING A DUMB NAP.

WELL, WHAT MAY I DO FOR YOU?

COULD YOU TELL US WHEN
OUR FANTASY'S GOING TO BEGIN?

OH, THAT'S EASY. IT
ALREADY HAS STARTED.

WHAT TATTOO MEANS IS THAT
YOU ARE ALREADY ROCK STARS

IN CERTAIN PARTS OF THE WORLD.

OH, REALLY? WELL, WHAT PART
OF THE WORLD ARE WE STARS IN?

ENGLAND. YOU SEE, I TOOK
THE DEMONSTRATION TAPE

YOU SENT ME AND HAD
IT RELEASED AS AN ALBUM.

WELL, YOUR ALBUM SHOT STRAIGHT
TO THE TOP OF THE BRITISH CHARTS.

SEE, I TOLD YOU
GUYS WE WERE GOOD.

- THAT'S TERRIFIC, BUT...
- I KNOW.

YOU WANT SOME IRONCLAD PROOF
OF YOUR NEWLY FOUND FAME. RIGHT?

IT WOULD BE NICE.

BEFORE MR. ROARKE
DELIVERS THE PROOF,

THERE IS SOMETHING
ELSE YOU SHOULD KNOW.

OH? WHAT'S THAT?

I ALSO RELEASED YOUR ALBUM
HERE ON FANTASY ISLAND.

WHILE WE DON'T HAVE
ANY CHARTS OF TOP 40,

I CAN READILY ASSURE YOU
THAT THE COLLINS FAMILY

HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED
ROCK STARDOM RIGHT HERE.

[SCREAMING]

IF THIS IS STARDOM, FORGET IT.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- FOR YOU TO MARRY ME.

- THAT'S CRAZY.
- WHY?

WELL, FOR STARTERS,
I'M ONLY NINE.

[APPLAUSE]

ROSES! A SHOWER OF ROSES

TO THANK YOU FOR OUR FANTASY
OF RUNNING AN AMUSEMENT PARK.

EXCUSE ME. DARIUS,
HOW COULD YOU?

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY NEPHEW
TOSSING CONFETTI ALL OVER YOU.

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

IT WASN'T ALL CONFETTI.
THEY WERE ROSES.

NOT REAL ROSES. I
COULDN'T AFFORD REAL ONES.

I CUT THEM OUT OF MAGAZINES.

SEE? THEY'RE REALLY ROSES.

THERE IS REALLY NOTHING
TO APOLOGIZE FOR.

NOW ENJOY YOURSELF, DARIUS.

SAY, GUYS, I GOT A GREAT TRICK
FOR YOU. CAN I HAVE A VOLUNTEER?

I'M AFRAID YOU GENTLEMEN ARE
BEING MUCH TOO LENIENT WITH HIM.

BUT HE SEEMS TO
BE SUCH A NICE BOY.

BEING NICE ISN'T THE
PROBLEM WITH DARIUS.

YOU SAW THE WAY
HE WAS ACTING TODAY.

HE'S LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.

HE LIVES IN A WORLD ALL
HIS OWN, A WORLD OF MAGIC.

I KEEP HOPING HE'LL OUTGROW
IT, BUT I GUESS IT'S HARD FOR...

WELL, HIS MOTHER... MY SISTER...

SHE DIED FIVE YEARS AGO.

BUT DOES HE HAVE A FATHER?

YEAH, HE HAS A FATHER ALL RIGHT,
BUT HE HARDLY EVER SEES DARIUS.

TOO EMBARRASSED, I GUESS. HE'S
A THIRD-RATE CARNIVAL STUNT MAN

WHO SPENDS WHAT LITTLE MONEY HE
MAKES ON HIS PRECIOUS MOTORCYCLE

AND FLASHY LEATHER OUTFITS.

THEN HE'S LAID UP IN THE
HOSPITAL HALF THE TIME.

BUT HE DOES COMMUNICATE
WITH THE BOY, DOESN'T HE?

CERTAINLY. POSTCARDS
AND LETTERS,

NEVER DOUBTING HE'S
GONNA MAKE THE BIG TIME.

DARIUS'S FATHER IS A 35 YEAR
OLD BOY WHO NEVER GREW UP.

AND HE NEVER WILL.

AND THAT POOR CHILD
HAS TO PAY THE PRICE.

WHO EVER HEARD OF ROCK
STARS DOING HOMEWORK?

I DID, SO STOP COMPLAINING.

ALL RIGHT, JODIE, IT'S
YOUR TURN TO COOK DINNER.

AND NO MORE OF YOUR
FAMOUS HOT DOG SOUP.

HEY, WHERE'S SCOOTER?

HE'S AT IT AGAIN, ROB.

YEAH. JODIE AND I GOT TO TALKING
HOW GREAT IT WAS TO BE ROCK STARS,

AND I SAID, "BOY, WOULDN'T MOM
AND DAD BE PROUD OF US NOW?"

HEY, SCOOTER.

DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TELL YOU
THAT ROCK STARS DON'T CRY?

COME ON. SIT UP AND TALK TO ME.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD
IT UNDER CONTROL.

I THOUGHT I DID TOO.

LOOK, SCOOTER, MOM
AND DAD ARE GONE,

AND NOTHING CAN BRING THEM BACK.

BUT THE COAST GUARD SAID...

THE COAST GUARD SAID THE BOAT
WENT DOWN IN THE HURRICANE.

AND THAT WAS OVER A MONTH AGO.

YEAH, BUT MAYBE
SOMEHOW THEY GOT ASHORE.

LET'S FACE IT, SCOOTER,

IT'S JUST THE FOUR OF US
AGAINST THE WORLD NOW.

YEAH. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

HEY, LOOK, HAVEN'T I BEEN TAKING
CARE OF YOU LIKE I SAID I WOULD?

AND ISN'T THIS BETTER THAN THAT
OLD FOSTER HOME THEY STUCK YOU IN?

IT SURE IS.

THEN WE'LL STICK TO
MY GAME PLAN, OKAY?

I JUST HOPE IT WORKS OUT.

SURE IT'LL WORK OUT.

I'M GONNA BE 18 IN THREE MONTHS, AND
THAT MAKE ME A LEGAL ADULT BACK HOME.

ONCE WE BECOME BIG ROCK STARS,
WE'LL BUY A TREMENDOUS HOUSE

AND WE'LL LIVE HAPPILY
EVER AFTER. HOW'S THAT?

ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.

WOWEE!

WOW!

THIS IS TERRIFIC!

ARE WE REALLY
GONNA BE IN CHARGE?

- OF COURSE. THAT WAS
YOUR FANTASY, WASN'T IT?
- YES.

YOU BETTER PIN THIS ON.

WHAT ARE THEY FOR?

[ROARKE] THE BADGES
SAY "ASSISTANT MANAGER."

NOW THE RULE IS, ONLY
THE MANAGER CAN OVERRIDE

AN ORDER GIVEN BY AN ASSISTANT
MANAGER. YOU UNDERSTAND?

WHO'S THE MANAGER?

WHO ELSE?

YOU BETTER GET ACQUAINTED
WITH THE PARK, MY FRIENDS.

AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY ARE
CHECKING THE EQUIPMENT NOW

AND WE WILL OPEN THE GATES AND ADMIT
YOUR FIRST CUSTOMERS IN HALF AN HOUR.

- ALL RIGHT?
- COME ON!

- YEAH!
- ALL RIGHT!

LOOK AT THAT RIDE OVER THERE!

HEY, WAIT FOR ME!

FROM NOW ON, EVERYBODY
GETS A DOUBLE TURN.

DOUBLE TURN?

THAT WAY EVERYONE CAN
HAVE TWICE AS MUCH FUN.

- YEAH.
- EVERYBODY GETS
A DOUBLE TURN!

[CHEERING]

GIVE EVERYONE TRIPLE
PORTIONS FOR THE SAME PRICE.

HOW COME?

IT TAKES MORE THAN ONE TO
REALLY ENJOY THEM. BESIDES...

[KIDS CHEERING]

HOLD ON TO YOUR SEATS, FOLKS,
BECAUSE WE ARE GOING AROUND SOME MORE,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE
NEW MANAGEMENT HERE!

I'M SO HAPPY AND I
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY.

BECAUSE EVERYONE'S HAPPY.

AND WE MADE IT THAT WAY.

DARIUS, THIS IS THE
BEST FANTASY EVER.

YEAH, MR. ROARKE SURE DOES
KNOW HOW TO DELIVER FANTASIES.

[THINKING] I JUST HOPE HE
KNOWS HOW TO DELIVER MY DAD.

- AH, HERE THEY ARE!
- HI, MR. ROARKE, HI, TATTOO.

WELCOME.

ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR FAME?

- FANTASTIC.
- SO FAR IT'S BEEN TERRIFIC.

BUT I HAVE ONE QUESTION.

HOW COULD WE MAKE A LOT
OF MONEY IN A BIG HURRY?

AS A MATTER OF FACT, EVER
HEAR OF BRIAN LIPSCOMBE?

HEAR OF HIM? HE'S ONLY
THE NUMBER ONE RECORD

AND CONCERT PROMOTER
IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, WILLIE.

PRECISELY WHY I HAVE INVITED
THE ESTEEMED MR. LIPSCOMBE

TO HEAR YOU IN CONCERT TOMORROW.

I PROMISED THAT YOU'D PUT
ON A CONCERT JUST FOR HIM.

ALL RIGHT!

AND IF BRIAN
LIPSCOMBE LIKES YOU,

THE SKY IS THE LIMIT!

- WOW!
- DOUBLE WOW!

HOLD ON. UM,
MR. ROARKE, CAN WE, UH...

HEAR THIS HIT ALBUM OF OURS?

OF COURSE. BUT, UH,
WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

- SURE.
- COULD YOU PLAY
ALONG WITH IT?

WE'D LOVE TO!

TATTOO.

♪ ♪

♪ THE KIDS ALL THINK I'M CRAZY ♪

♪ FOR RUNNING AFTER YOU ♪

♪ THEY SAY YOU
PLAY HARD TO GET ♪

♪ WITH EVERY BOY AT SCHOOL ♪

♪ READY OR NOT, BABY ♪

- ♪ HERE I COME ♪
- ♪ READY OR NOT ♪

WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW HOLD IT. HOLD IT!

SOMETHING WRONG? YOU SEEM TO
BE SUFFERING FROM MIXED EMOTIONS.

DON'T YOU LIKE YOUR HIT ALBUM?

- IT'S TERRIFIC. BUT IT'S NOT US.
- RIGHT.

OH, BUT IT IS, IT IS.

TATTOO IS QUITE CORRECT.

YOU SEE, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF
HAVING YOUR DEMONSTRATION TAPE

ELECTRONICALLY ENHANCED
BEFORE THE RECORDING WAS MADE.

BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA MATCH THAT
SOUND FOR MR. LIPSCOMBE TOMORROW NIGHT?

WITH FAME AND FORTUNE
WITHIN SUCH EASY GRASP,

I'M CERTAIN YOU'LL
THINK OF SOMETHING.

TATTOO.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

- YOU MUST BE THE GREAT SCOTT.
- AND YOU MUST BE MR. ROARKE.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
- THANK YOU FOR COMING.

OH, NOT AT ALL.

I'M HAVING TO PINCH MYSELF. I CAN'T
BELIEVE THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.

- I MEAN, AFTER
ALL THESE YEARS.
- YES.

I'VE GOT A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

- WHAT?
- MUCH OF MY CAREER...

WELL, MOST OF IT,

HAS BEEN MOTORCYCLE STUNTS
AND CHEAP TOURING CARNIVALS

WITH RAMSHACKLE EQUIPMENT
AND UNSAFE CONDITIONS.

BUT THIS TIME,

IT'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT.

A 225 FOOT LEAP OVER A LAGOON!

AND WHEN I MAKE IT, I
MAY FINALLY GET A SHOT

AT THE BIG TIME.

A BIG TOUR.

THAT'S MORE THAN A
POSSIBILITY, MR. SCOTT.

IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT
THERE IS A CONVENTION

OF SPORTS JOURNALISTS
AND BOOKERS

FROM MAJOR ENTERTAINMENT
PARKS ON THE ISLAND.

THEY WILL ALL BE PRESENT
FOR YOUR PERFORMANCE.

THAT'S JUST LIKE A
DREAM COME TRUE!

YES.

YES.

THERE IS SOMETHING
I MUST CONFESS.

YOU SEE, MOTORCYCLE STUNTS ARE NOT
THE FANTASY ISLAND'S AMUSEMENT PARK'S

STANDARD BRAND OF
ENTERTAINMENT, YOU UNDERSTAND.

SO, UM, UH...

WELL, WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,

I AM NOT THE ONE WHO HIRED YOU.

WELL, THEN WHO?

THAT I AM NOT AT
LIBERTY TO TELL.

I'M SORRY. THE PARTY WISHES TO REMAIN
ANONYMOUS, AT LEAST FOR THE TIME BEING.

WELL, WHOEVER THAT PERSON IS,

WHEN I DO THIS STUNT TOMORROW,

I WON'T LET THEM DOWN,
I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT.

NOT TOO DANGEROUS
A STUNT, I HOPE.

THEY'RE ALL
DANGEROUS, MR. ROARKE.

BUT IF I CAN MAKE A SPECTACULAR
APPEARANCE AT THIS PARK TOMORROW,

IT COULD BE THE GREATEST
THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

FOR YOUR SAKE, MR. SCOTT,
I HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT.

THANK YOU.

- GOOD AFTERNOON.
- GOOD AFTERNOON.

YOUR FATHER LOOKS FINE.

HE'S VERY EXCITED, THINKS
THIS IS GOING TO BE HIS BIG BREAK.

THANKS, MR. ROARKE,

FOR THE BEST FANTASY
YOU'VE EVER GIVEN ANYONE.

I GOTTA GET TO WORK.

GUESS WHO?

THAT DISGUISE IS
TRULY A WORK OF ART.

HAH.

ORDINARILY I WOULD
BE TEMPTED TO SAY

THAT YOU ARE TATTOO.

BUT THEN AGAIN I
CAN'T BE POSITIVE.

[LAUGHS] IT'S ME, BOSS!

I'M GETTING BETTER
AND BETTER, AM I NOT?

OH, INDEED YOU ARE. PRETTY
SOON I WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU AT ALL.

YOU SEE THAT HAND?

IT'S A HOOK!

YOUR ANTIQUE LAMP!

I'M SORRY, BOSS.

MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION
AS TO YOUR NEXT DISGUISE?

OH, SURE, BOSS. WHO
DO YOU WANT ME TO BE?

HOW ABOUT THE INVISIBLE MAN?

PLEASE SIT DOWN.

BE QUIET, BE QUIET.
PLEASE BE QUIET.

INTRODUCING EUROPE'S
HOTTEST ROCK STARS,

- THE COLLINS KIDS!
- [APPLAUSE]

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

♪ ♪

♪ THE KIDS ALL THINK I'M CRAZY ♪

♪ FOR RUNNING AFTER YOU ♪

♪ THEY SAY YOU
PLAY HARD TO GET ♪

♪ WITH EVERY BOY AT SCHOOL ♪

DON'T LOOK NOW,
BUT I THINK WE'RE A HIT.

YEAH, THAT MR. ROARKE
SURE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

♪ READY OR NOT, BABY ♪

- ♪ HERE I COME ♪
- ♪ READY OR NOT... ♪

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

OH, HI, BOSS.

HOW MUCH ARE YOU BEING PAID TO PLAY
THAT ALBUM WHILE THEY LIP SYNC TO IT?

OH, BOSS, YOU DON'T THINK I WOULD
TAKE MONEY FROM KIDS, DO YOU?

HOW MUCH?

10 BUCKS.

EXCUSE ME, BOSS, BUT IT'S
TIME FOR THE NEXT NUMBER.

OH, BY THE WAY, I'VE GOT A
PHONE MESSAGE FOR YOU.

IT SAID THAT SOMEBODY VERY IMPORTANT
WAS WAITING FOR YOU AT THE HOUSE.

10 BUCKS.

♪ I'M GONNA GET YOU
AND THEN YOU'LL SEE ♪

♪ HOW MUCH FUN LOVE CAN BE. ♪

[APPLAUSE]

THE LAW IS THE LAW, MR. ROARKE.
THOSE COLLINS CHILDREN ARE RUNAWAYS.

AND THEY MUST BE RETURNED
TO THEIR FOSTER HOMES.

MY DEAR MS. RIDGES,

THERE IS WHAT IS CALLED
THE LETTER OF THE LAW...

YES YES, AND THAT WHICH IS
CALLED THE SPIRIT OF THE LAW.

PRECISELY.

AS SOCIAL WORKER IN
CHARGE OF THOSE CHILDREN,

IT IS MY DUTY TO OBSERVE
THE LETTER OF THE LAW.

OH, THAT IS SUCH A SHAME.

WHAT'S A SHAME?

THAT YOU INSIST ON DEALING
WITH THE LETTER OF THE LAW.

YOU SEE, I HAPPEN TO BE
THE LAW ON FANTASY ISLAND

AND THE LETTER OF MY
LAW STIPULATES THAT YOU

HAVE ABSOLUTELY
NO JURISDICTION HERE.

IN SHORT, MS. RIDGES, THE CHILDREN
WILL REMAIN ON FANTASY ISLAND

UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE.

I WILL HAVE YOU
KNOW, MR. ROARKE,

THAT I AM HERE TO ENSURE
THAT THOSE CHILDREN ARE

RETURNED TO THEIR FOSTER HOMES.

AND I AM THE TYPE OF PERSON
WHO GETS THE JOB DONE!

HEY GUYS, LISTEN UP.

GUYS, COME ON.

ALL RIGHT. NOW I'M SORRY TO GET
YOU UP SO EARLY IN THE MORNING.

BUT TATTOO SHOWED
ME SOME REPORTS

AND WE HAVE REAL
PROBLEMS. TATTOO?

FOR STARTERS, THE PARK
IS OUT OF SOFT DRINKS,

COTTON CANDY AND HOT DOG BUNS.

ALSO, SOME OF OUR KEY EMPLOYEES
HAVE BEEN EXCUSED FOR THE DAY.

I ONLY EXCUSED THE
GUY ON THE FERRIS WHEEL.

HE SAID HE WANTED TO GO
FISHING WITH SOME FRIENDS.

WELL, THAT'S VERY UNFORTUNATE,

BECAUSE IT HAPPENS THAT HIS FRIENDS
WERE WORKING ON THREE OTHER RIDES.

AND KEVIN GAVE THEM THE DAY OFF.

I'M AFRAID THAT I
LET SOME OFF TOO.

YES. AND THE TOTAL RESULT IS

THAT THE PARK IS SHORT ON HELP.

WHICH MEANS THAT WE
HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

- WORK?
- WORK?

TO FILL IN THE GAP, OR
THE PARK WON'T OPEN.

I DIDN'T COME HERE TO
WORK! THAT'S STUPID!

YEAH, I CAME HERE TO MAKE
PEOPLE HAPPY AND WORK MAGIC.

COME ON, GUYS, YOU GOTTA WORK.

WHY?

WELL, YOU SEE, I HAVE
TO FULFILL MY FANTASY.

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT, DARIUS?

IT JUST IS.

BESIDES, WE MESSED UP,
SO WE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE.

COME ON, PLEASE?

WELL, OKAY BY ME. MONICA?

COME ON, LET'S GET GOING.

ALL RIGHT! COME ON!

[HAMMERING]

HANK, WHO IS THIS
GUY, THE GREAT SCOTT?

I NEVER HEARD OF HIM BEFORE.

YEAH, WELL, YOU'LL PROBABLY
NEVER HEAR OF HIM AGAIN EITHER.

HE'S JUST A CHEAP CARNY ARTIST.

YOU KNOW, HE WOULDN'T EVEN BE
HERE IF HIS OWN KID HADN'T HIRED HIM.

HUH. HOW ABOUT THAT?

ALL RIGHT, NOW LET
ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

POUNDS STERLING OR DOLLARS?

DOLLARS.

IN ROUND FIGURES, 70,000.

HOW MUCH MILEAGE DOES IT GET?

WITH THE TV SET TURNED OFF.

WE HAVE A SAYING, SIR.

IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, YOU
CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY IT.

WELL, WE CAN'T AFFORD IT NOW.

BUT WE WILL SOON.

WE'LL PROBABLY
NEED FOUR OF THEM.

ALL DIFFERENT COLORS, OF COURSE.

THE CAR.

OH.

YOU SEE, WE'RE
BIG TIME ROCK STARS

AND WE'RE GONNA BE VERY RICH AS
SOON AS MR. LIPSCOMBE SEES US PERFORM.

INDEED?

DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE IT
FOR A LITTLE TEST SPIN?

- UH...
- WILLIE, WE CAN'T.

WHY NOT?

WE DON'T HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE.

I FORGOT.

- SIR, THE CAR.
- OH. RIGHT.

I GUESS YOU'D HAVE
TO CALL US BIG STARS.

I MEAN, HOWE MANY GROUPS DO YOU KNOW OF
THAT GET 15 CURTAIN CALLS IN ONE EVENING?

WOULD IT BE CORRECT IF I TOLD MY READERS
THAT YOU'RE ENJOYING STARDOM, JODIE?

OH, WAIT JUST A MINUTE.

OH, THANK YOU.

WOW!

THANKS! JUST KEEP 'EM COMING.

WELL, FROM THE LOOKS OF THINGS,

IT SEEMS YOU'RE ENJOYING
YOUR STARDOM, JODIE.

OH, HI. COME ON IN.

YOU'RE OFFERING US A THREE
MONTH TOUR OF THE ORIENT?

SURE, I KNOW THAT'S
A LOT OF MONEY.

WE JUST CAN'T DO IT.

NO, NOT UNDER ANY
CIRCUMSTANCES. I'M SORRY.

BYE-BYE.

WELL, ROB, HOW IS
SUCCESS TREATING YOU?

OH, IT'S FANTASTIC!

WOULD YOU BELIEVE I'VE BEEN
ON THESE PHONES ALL MORNING?

AND LOOK AT THESE TELEGRAMS.

MOVIES, TV SPECIALS, RECORDING
CONTRACTS, YOU NAME IT.

HOW MANY OFFERS
DID YOU AGREE TO?

I HAVEN'T AGREED TO ANY OF THEM.

I TURNED THEM ALL DOWN
IN FAVOR OF MR. LIPSCOMBE.

OH, SPEAKING OF MR. LIPSCOMBE,

I JUST SPOKE TO HIM AND HE'LL DEFINITELY
BE HERE FOR TONIGHT'S CONCERT.

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

SUPPOSE THIS MR. LIPSCOMBE ISN'T
IMPRESSED WITH WHAT HE SEES AND HEARS.

OH, COME ON, HE'S GOT TO BE.

AH, BUT MS. RIDGES HAS A POINT.

PERHAPS YOU WERE A BIT HASTY
IN REJECTING ALL THESE OFFERS.

ROB, THIS IS NO LIFE
FOR YOU CHILDREN.

YOU BELONG BACK IN CALIFORNIA.

YEAH RIGHT. AT FOUR
DIFFERENT FOSTER HOMES?

NO THANKS. LOOK, WE'RE GONNA
BE AN EVEN BIGGER HIT TONIGHT.

LIP SYNCING TO YOUR ALBUM, ROB?

SURE. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
WE CAN CAPTURE THAT SOUND.

QUESTION... DO THE COLLINS KIDS

INTEND TO LIP SYNC
THEIR WAY THROUGH LIFE?

I DON'T FOLLOW YOU, MR. ROARKE.

LIP SYNCING IS A
FORM OF DECEIT, ROB.

SO WAS TELLING ME THAT YOU HAD PARENTAL
PERMISSION TO VISIT FANTASY ISLAND.

I'VE SINCE LEARNED THAT YOUR
PARENTS WERE LOST AT SEA

AND THEREFORE COULDN'T HAVE
POSSIBLY HAVE GRANTED PERMISSION.

ALL RIGHT, SO I LIED.

BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY
TO KEEP US KIDS TOGETHER,

AND KEEP US OUT OF FOUR
DIFFERENT FOSTER HOMES.

MR. ROARKE, WE'RE A FAMILY,

AND WE INTEND TO STAY TOGETHER.

I HAVE NO QUARREL
WITH YOUR DESIRE, ROB.

BUT IT WAS STILL
DECEIT, WASN'T IT?

A VERY FALSE ROAD TO
HAPPINESS, MY YOUNG FRIEND.

THINK ABOUT IT. SHALL WE?

GOOD NEWS, KEVIN. WE'VE DONE IT.

THEY'RE GONNA OPEN
THE CARNIVAL ON TIME.

- ALL RIGHT.
- THANKS A LOT
FOR YOUR HELP.

- ANYTIME, OLD BUDDY.
- LET'S GO.

DARIUS.

DAD! DAD!

DAD!

HELLO, DAD!

I MISSED YOU, SON.

I MISSED YOU TOO, DAD.

LOOK AT YOU!

COME ON! COME ON!

ALL RIGHT!

LISTEN. I, UH...

I FOUND OUT HOW I GOT HERE.

DON'T WORRY.
MR. ROARKE DIDN'T TELL ME,

AT LEAST NOT UNTIL
I CONFRONTED HIM.

I OVERHEARD SOME OF
THE RIGGING CREW TALKING.

I JUST WANTED US TO BE TOGETHER.

AND I WAS AFRAID YOU'D GET MAD.

WELL, I GOTTA ADMIT,

AT FIRST I WAS ALL
JANGLED UP INSIDE.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.

A DUDE MY AGE GETTING
WORK THROUGH HIS SON.

WELL, HOW COULD I BE MAD AT YOU?

I LOVE YOU.

AND THIS IS THE CHANCE
WE'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF.

WHO BETTER TO MAKE
IT COME TRUE THAN YOU?

AND IF I MAKE GOOD HERE,

IT'S THE BIG TIME.

YOU'LL MAKE GOOD,
DAD. DON'T WORRY.

JUST KNOW YOU WILL.

THANK YOU, SON.

THANK YOU.

YOU HAD NO RIGHT
TO BRING HIM HERE!

I'M AFRAID YOU ARE MISTAKEN.

I DIDN'T BRING THE
GREAT SCOTT HERE.

DARIUS DID.

DARIUS?

BUT HIS FANTASY WAS TO...

I'M AFRAID DARIUS MAY BE GUILTY
OF A MAGICIAN'S SLIGHT OF HAND.

THE FANTASY OF RUNNING AN
AMUSEMENT PARK WITH THE OTHER CHILDREN

WASN'T ALL HE HAD IN MIND.

HIS REAL FANTASY WAS TO PROVIDE
HIS FATHER WITH A BIG BREAK

AS A PERFORMER.

BUT WHY?

DARIUS HIRED YOU BECAUSE
HE THINKS THAT AFTER THIS JUMP

YOU'LL BE RICH AND FAMOUS AND ABLE
TO SET UP A REAL HOME FOR HIM AGAIN.

JUST THE TWO OF YOU
TOGETHER, FOR GOOD.

WHATEVER GAVE HIM
AN IDEA LIKE THAT?

YOU DID, SCOTT, IN ALL
THOSE LETTERS YOU WROTE.

YOU SAID THAT ALL YOU
NEEDED WAS A LITTLE BREAK

TO BE ON YOUR WAY AGAIN.

YOU WERE NEVER
THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

HOW CAN YOU BE
ON YOUR WAY AGAIN?

OKAY, SO I DIDN'T WRITE HIM ABOUT
THE CHEAP TOURING CARNIVALS.

INSTEAD, I WROTE HIM ABOUT
VACATIONING IN THE BAHAMAS

WHEN I WAS REALLY LAID UP WITH FOUR
BROKEN BONES IN A DES MOINES HOSPITAL.

AND YES, ONE JUMP DOESN'T
PUT ME IN THE BIG TIME.

I'LL STILL HAVE TO STRUGGLE
TO ESTABLISH MYSELF.

BUT AT LEAST I'LL HAVE SOME
KIND OF A NAME AFTER THAT JUMP.

IF YOU SURVIVE!

THE POINT IS THAT DARIUS EXPECTS
YOU TWO TO GET TOGETHER PERMANENTLY.

NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
TELL HIM AFTER THIS JUMP?

"THANKS, SON. I'LL
SEE YOU AROUND?"

IT WASN'T FAIR FOR DARIUS TO
ASSUME WE'D GET BACK TOGETHER.

FAIR? WHAT IS FAIR?

HE'S 11 YEARS OLD.
HE NEEDS A FATHER!

THE TIME WILL COME!

LISTEN, THIS IS JUST THE START.

IT'S THE BEGINNING OF THE DREAM.

OH!

THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT
I THOUGHT YOU'D SAY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN UP ON
THAT MOTORCYCLE A LONG TIME AGO.

INSTEAD, YOU GAVE
UP EVERYTHING ELSE.

ALL RIGHT, MR. LIPSCOMBE'S HERE.

- GREAT!
- LET'S GIVE HIM
A SHOW, GUYS!

OKAY!

READY?

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...

♪ ♪

♪ TAKE ME AWAY IF YOU WANT TO ♪

♪ I WON'T TRY TO RESIST ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M GUILTY, BABY ♪

♪ OF FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪

♪ AND IT'S GOOD ♪

♪ SO GOOD ♪

♪ IT'S GOTTA BE
AGAINST THE LAW ♪

♪ BUT HOW CAN YOU STOP ♪

♪ A LOVE SO STRONG? ♪

♪ WHEN IT FEELS SO
RIGHT IT CAN'T BE WRONG ♪

♪ LOVE IN THE FIRST DEGREE... ♪

ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT.

HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

[MUSIC STOPS]

MR. LIPSCOMBE, I THINK...

NO, I KNOW THAT WE
OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

THAT SONG YOU JUST HEARD?
WELL, IT WASN'T REALLY US.

WELL, PART OF IT WAS.

WHAT I MEAN IS, UH,
WE WERE LIP SYNCING.

'CAUSE THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY WE COULD
EVER CAPTURE THAT SOUND ON OUR ALBUM.

NOT BY OURSELVES.

WHAT I MEAN IS, SIR,

WHAT I'M REALLY
TRYING TO SAY IS THAT

I GUESS WE'RE NOTHING BUT FOUR
AMATEURISH WET-BEHIND-THE-EAR KIDS WHO...

- WHO CAN WRITE
REALLY GOOD LYRICS.
- EXCUSE ME?

WHICH ONE OF YOU WROTE
THOSE SMASHING LYRICS?

WE ALL DID. IT WAS A
COLLABORATIVE EFFORT.

AH, I SEE. WELL,

WOULD THE COLLINS FAMILY

BE INTERESTED IN A CONTRACT

TO WRITE LYRICS FOR A HOT
NEW COMPOSER I'VE JUST SIGNED?

IT COULD BE WORTH
A SMALL FORTUNE.

BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR MUSIC?

WELL, THE SOUND WAS ALL RIGHT,

AND WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,

GROUPS LIKE YOUR ARE
NOT HARD TO COME BY.

BUT FINDING A REALLY GOOD LYRIC
WRITER, THAT'S WHERE IT'S REALLY AT, EH?

[LAUGHS] WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WILL YOU SIGN A CONTRACT OR NOT?

SAY YES, ROB.

YEAH, THIS MEANS WE CAN
STILL BE ROCK STARS, OF A SORT.

YEAH, THEN WE CAN BUY THE BIG
HOUSE AND WE'LL ALL STAY TOGETHER.

I WOULDN'T COUNT ON THAT.

THE MOMENT YOU SET FOOT ON THE
MAINLAND YOU ARE UNDER MY JURISDICTION.

AND I NOW HAVE A
COURT ORDER, WHICH...

WHICH MEANS FOUR
FOSTER HOMES, RIGHT?

I'M AFRAID SO.

[ROARKE] I'M AFRAID NOT.

- NOW SEE HERE, MR. ROARKE...
- NO, YOU SEE HERE, MS. RIDGES.

YOU SEE, I HAVE JUST
RECEIVED A TELEGRAM

ANNOUNCING THAT THE CHILDREN'S
PARENTS WERE FOUND ALIVE.

- WHAT?
- ALIVE?

I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU
THEY WERE ALL RIGHT!

YES, THEY WERE WASHED ASHORE
IN A VERY REMOTE AREA OF MEXICO.

MR. ROARKE, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

TOTALLY. READ THIS.

- THEY'RE ALIVE!
- GREAT!

THANK YOU. MR. ROARKE.

WE'RE GOING HOME!

LOVE. THE GREATEST
HEALING POWER OF ALL.

[ANNOUNCER] LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, THE GREAT SCOTT!

LOOKS GOOD AND I'M READY!

GOOD LUCK!

MR. SCOTT, YOU'RE THE
STUNT MAN AROUND HERE.

WE NEED YOUR HELP QUICK.
THERE'S A KID HANGING ON THE WHEEL.

OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND.
HEY, WATCH MY BIKE FOR ME.

HELP!

WE STOPPED THE WHEEL TO FIX IT.

THAT KID UP THERE, HE
INSISTED ON TAKING A TEST RUN.

NOW HE'S STUCK UP THERE.

[SCOTT] THAT'S DARIUS!

HE MUST HAVE PANICKED
AND TRIED TO CLIMB DOWN.

HOW LONG TO FIX THE WHEEL?

WE'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S DARIUS!

HANG ON, SON! I'M COMING!

DON'T LOOK DOWN, DARIUS!

HURRY, DAD! I'M SLIPPING!

I'M ALMOST THERE, SON! HANG ON!

THAT'S GOT IT!

DON'T MOVE THE WHEEL!

- HURRY!
- HOLD ON, DARIUS! HOLD ON!

DAD, I CAN'T HANG ON!

JUST A FEW SECONDS MORE, SON!

- [PEOPLE SCREAMING]
- [METAL CLANGING]

DON'T LOOK DOWN!

DAD, HURRY!

I'VE GOT YOU.

GET YOUR OTHER LEG IN.

OKAY.

[CHEERING]

YOU ALL RIGHT, SON? HUH?

YEAH. YES.

I WAS AFRAID YOU'D
NEVER GET HERE.

ARE YOU KIDDING?
I'M THE GREAT SCOTT.

ON BEHALF OF US ALL,
THANK YOU, MR. SCOTT.

THAT WAS A REMARKABLE
TEST OF COURAGE.

AND UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, IF YOU
WISH TO POSTPONE YOUR MOTORCYCLE JUMP

OR PERHAPS CHANGE
IT TO ANOTHER DAY...

NO JUMP, MR. ROARKE.
NOT NOW OR EVER.

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, MR. SCOTT. YOU TOLD
ME NOTHING IN THE WORLD MEANT MORE TO YOU.

WELL, NOW SOMETHING DOES.

I DON'T BELONG UP THERE.

I BELONG DOWN HERE ON
THE GROUND WITH MY SON.

MR. ROARKE, I OWE
YOU AN EXPLANATION

FOR THE DECISION
THAT I MADE YESTERDAY.

OH, THAT'S NOT
NECESSARY, MR. SCOTT.

NO, PLEASE LET ME.

WHAT KEPT RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND WHILE
I WAS CLIMBING UP THAT FERRIS WHEEL WAS,

IF I GOT SERIOUSLY HURT,
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO DARIUS?

WHO WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP HIM?

THEN I JUST STARTED EXTENDING THAT
THOUGHT TO BEYOND THE FERRIS WHEEL,

TO THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

AND THAT'S THE REAL DREAM.

THE IT WAS A WISE
DECISION, MR. SCOTT.

I THINK SO.

I'M TEMPORARILY UNEMPLOYED, BUT I'M
GONNA SET UP A HOUSEHOLD WITH DARIUS

AND, WELL, SOMETHING
WILL TURN UP.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I
HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

THE JOB OF GENERAL MANAGER
OF THE AMUSEMENT PARK IS OPEN.

YES, THE FORMER MANAGER
QUIT TOP FULFILL HIS FANTASY

OF TRAINING LIONS AND TIGERS.

WILL YOU TAKE OVER
AS MANAGER, MR. SCOTT?

I...

WHAT DO YOU THINK, DARIUS?

I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA, DAD!

I COULD HELP YOU A LOT.

I KNOW A LOT ABOUT
AMUSEMENT PARKS NOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, ANDREA?

I THINK THAT...

THIS LITTLE BOY'S FANTASY
HAS JUST COME TRUE.

YOU GOT YOURSELF A
MANAGER, MR. ROARKE.

IN FACT, TWO MANAGERS, THE BEST TWO
MANAGERS ANY AMUSEMENT PARK COULD HAVE.

BYE!

WILL YOU KINDLY
EXPLAIN WHY YOU CHOSE

TO WEAR YOUR LATEST
DISGUISE HERE AND NOW?

I GOT STUCK. I
COULDN'T GET OUT OF IT.

MR. ROARKE!

MR. ROARKE, THANK
YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

YOU ARE MOST
WELCOME, ALL OF YOU.

DO YOU STILL WISH TO BECOME
RICH AND FAMOUS ROCK STARS?

WE ALREADY ARE, PARTLY. BUT THE
BEST THING IS WE GOT OUR PARENTS BACK.

MR. ROARKE, WILL
YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

OF COURSE, SCOOTER. WHAT IS IT?

IF A ROLLS ROYCE
SALESMAN ASKS FOR ME,

TELL HIM TO CANCEL THOSE
FOUR CARS I ORDERED.

VERY GOOD.

- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE VERY WELCOME. GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE, SWEETHEART. BYE.

AND NOW THAT OUR
GUESTS HAVE GONE,

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THIS IS
POSITIVELY YOUR WORST DISGUISE.

YOU FOOLED ABSOLUTELY
NO ONE WITH IT.

- NO ONE AT ALL?
- NOT A SOUL. AS
A MATTER OF FACT,

I'D GO SO FAR AS TO SAY

THAT YOUR LATEST
DISGUISE LAID A BIG EGG.

- OH, BOSS.
- NO, REALLY, TATTOO. LOOK HERE.

BOSS, WHERE DID
YOU FIND THAT EGG?

RIGHT THERE. YOU LAID IT.

BOSS, THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

YOU KNOW I CAN NOT LAY EGGS.

WELL, YOU JUST DID.

NO I DID NOT. YOU'RE
PUTTING ME ON, BOSS.

AM I, TATTOO?

AMI REALLY?

AFTER ALL, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

ON FANTASY ISLAND.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC ENDS]