Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Prince/The Sheriff - full transcript

The plane! The plane!

Today it's you who
is almost late, boss.

Not likely, Tattoo. Not likely.

Ah, it's going to
be a glorious day.

Would you permit it
to be another way?

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

We want our guests
to feel welcome.

Could that be little
Peter grown so tall?

Little Peter? Well, all
things are relative, Tattoo.

The last time I saw him,
he was no bigger than you.

That was at his late father's
summer palace in Anatolia.



Anatolia? Then he's
Crown Prince Peter.

Soon to be coronated as one of the last
remaining ruling monarchs in the world.

Then he's also one of the
richest men in the world.

Must your mind always
work like a cash register?

I was just wondering.

With all his money, why does
he need us for any fantasy?

For the one fantasy...

all his money can't
buy in his world.

It's called, uh, the common
touch. The common touch?

Every nobody would
like to be a prince.

Every prince would
like to be a nobody.

Hemingway!

Mother Goose.

Is he one of the
prince's bodyguards?



Oh, no, no, no, Tattoo. I insisted that
the prince come to our island alone.

But you are very close to
Mr. John Burke's occupation.

He is a detective on the New
York City Police Department.

He looks like he's
here to arrest someone.

Only himself,
Tattoo. Only himself.

He's a man who wants
to go back to a time...

when justice and
law and order...

were handled on a
more... simple basis.

And we are gonna give
him that chance, boss?

Oh, yes, Tattoo.

We are going to
give him that chance,

that and a lot more.

My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Well, Mr. Burke, there it is.

Your town.

It's amazing. How
did you manage it?

Uh, there are many secrets
on Fantasy Island, Mr. Burke.

And as with most secrets,

the answers are sometimes
best left unanswered.

Even this looks like it
came from the Old West.

Well, it should.
Wyatt Earp said...

it gave him many
years of good service.

Earp said... Mm-hmm.

You mean according
to legend, right?

All right. Those people down
there, uh, where did they come from?

I mean, uh, they're not
robots like in that movie?

Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Burke.

No, I assure you.
They're quite real.

Yours is not the only fantasy
about living in the Old West.

Others also long for
the good old days.

In fact, it's our
best-selling fantasy.

Some have been
here for many years,

others for just a few days.

What about law and order?
Is there any law there? Not yet.

Right now, that town
is ruled by the six-gun.

Law and order is nothing
more than a dream.

Well...

how do I look?

You look fine.

Mr. Roarke, I couldn't have
asked for anything more.

Except maybe the Larson
brothers, Detective Burke.

What do you know about the Larson
brothers? They've been here for two weeks.

You think the Larson brothers
killed your partner, don't you?

I don't think, Mr. Roarke.
I know they did.

It took me a long time,
but I finally nailed 'em.

And some judge released
'em on a technicality.

My partner's lying in his grave, and the
Larson brothers are walking the streets.

I don't think, Mr. Roarke.
I know they did it.

Well, if they
break the law here,

it will be strictly up to you,

Marshal Burke.

Now remember, you are the
only law that town has now.

You are the police,
the judge and jury too.

It's your town.

Take care of it.

Your horse, Marshal Burke.

This weekend is
very important to me.

My last chance to be me,

not a royal "we," so to speak.

Now I shall be a plain,
ordinary, workingman.

Mmm! A plain, ordinary,
hardworking man.

Hard work does not frighten me.

I'm sure it doesn't.

And now, if you'll please
empty your pockets.

I beg your pardon?

I'm going to have to ask
you for all your identification.

Well, after all, your
fantasy is to try to become...

a plain, ordinary, working...
Uh, hardworking man.

You can't very well do that,
Peter, with papers in your pocket...

identifying you as one of the handful
of royal princes left in the world.

You have a very
good point there.

Thank you.

You'll find your work clothes
laid out in your room for you, Peter.

Oh, uh, Tattoo, why
don't you present Peter...

with the royal scepter he'll
be using during the weekend.

My pleasure, sir.

Scepter? More like
a fisherman's gaff.

Well, that's precisely what it
is. And if you know that much,

at least you won't be
starting from scratch.

♪♪

And two cans of peaches.

And two cans of
peaches. Yes, sir.

- There. Anything else?
- No. That's it for now.

All right. Let's see.

That's six dollars
and... And 50 cents.

Just put it on my account.

But... you don't have
an account with me.

- I do now.
- I don't even know your name.

Maybe you'll remember now.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Been a pleasure
doin' business with you.

You're my kind of storekeeper.

What's going on here?
Why didn't you stop him?

Like Jake Armstrong
over at the hardware?

He tried to stop one of 'em last
week. Left a widow and three kids.

But you people
outnumber him four to one,

and you let him steal you blind.

Like I told you, none of us
ever should have come here.

It was a mistake that's
turned into a nightmare.

Well, maybe if you
had the guts to handle

punks like that, it
wouldn't be a nightmare.

He'd have killed
us. You saw that.

All I saw was a man
bluff you into submission.

He saw that you were afraid,
and he took advantage of it.

We're alive. That's a certainty.

Maybe he was bluffing,
maybe he wasn't.

Right now, I'll
take the certainty.

Is this whole town
full of brave citizens?

What's it to you? Like Logan
says, we're just tryin' to stay alive.

If it means losing your
own personal dignity,

it's a hell of a
price to have to pay.

You the new
marshal? That's right.

Name is Burke,

and I aim to uphold the law.

You know, Peter,
I was just thinkin'.

Yeah? What about?

You... what you're doin' here.

Well, I'm earning a
day's pay, just like you.

Not just like me.

I've been doin'
this since I was 10.

Me too. I started young.

Not likely. Look at your hands.

We've only been out a couple
hours. You got blisters all over 'em.

You gonna work, or
are you gonna talk?

Look, I ain't a nosy guy.

I work with a lot of deckhands.

They mind their own
business, I mind mine.

Then why pick on me?

Maybe because you're different.

- I still don't see why.
- You don't belong here.

The blisters on your
hands tell me that.

Look, if you're in
trouble, maybe I can help.

You would help me... a stranger?

Sure. Why not?

♪♪

And you should've
seen their faces.

They were so scared,
they were afraid to move.

So you just left,
huh? That's it.

Just walked right out.

Not quite, cowboy. I don't recall
inviting you into this conversation.

So... Marshal.

You got business with me?

I was in the general store when you
walked out without paying your bill.

You're going to jail, wise
guy. Go ahead! Pull it!

Pull it!

This might be your lucky day.

Well, you gonna let him take me?

This man broke the
law, and he's going to jail.

This is a wide-open town.
That's why we all came here.

Well, that's too bad,
because this is my town now.

That's why I came here.

And anybody who breaks the law is
going to have to deal with me personally,

and you can pass that along.

Let me see.

I've seen worse, but I
can't remember when.

Gotta admit it, Peter. I never
thought you'd make it through the day.

To tell you the
truth, neither did I.

Hey, take a break, huh?

All right.

Oh, hi.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to disturb you.

That's all right. I was
just looking at the view.

- It's beautiful, isn't it?
- Mm-hmm.

The more you look,
the prettier it gets.

You work around here?

Yeah. I'm a hand
on that trawler.

Oh.

I envy you. Out at sea all
day with no one to bother you.

I bet you love your work.

Mm-hmm, I do. My name is Peter.

I'm Chris, and my mother always
told me to watch out for sailors.

You are very
beautiful, you know?

Uh, look, we were just out for a
drive, and my friend had a flat tire.

I just thought I'd take a
walk while he was fixing it.

That doesn't make you any
less beautiful, even if I am a sailor.

Mom was right.

Oh. I gotta go.

Well, no, wait. It's been
nice talkin' to you, Pete.

Bye.

Whew. Pretty, huh?

Pretty? She's beautiful.

Where do you suppose
she lives, Jamie?

She's a guest at the fancy
resort hotel. I've seen her before.

How do I get there? You don't.

Those people don't have much
time for hundred-a-week deckhands.

Just point the way,
Jamie. That's all I ask.

- Buy me a drink?
- Help yourself.

Haven't made yourself
exactly popular in here.

I didn't intend to.

It's a lonely life. A long
ways to come just to be lonely.

What did you come
a long way to do?

Hey, boys, how you doin'?

Frank, bring us a bottle of rum.

Larson brothers.

You know them? You might
say I've been waiting for them.

Tom, over there in the corner.

That's Burke.
What's he doin' here?

Take it easy, Ed. There's
two of us, and just one of him.

Well, I don't like it. That
Roarke... he tricked us.

Here's your drink.

You got nothin' on us
here, Burke, so stay loose.

That's where you're
wrong. This is my town.

You see, I'm the law here.

There aren't any softhearted judges
or liberal D.A.'s to take you off the hook.

I run the whole shooting match,

and you two boys are my target.

We didn't kill your
partner, Burke.

I give you two days to make
your move, choose your ground.

Because if you don't,
I'll choose it for you.

- Choose our ground for what?
- To die.

'Cause the next time we meet,
that's what's gonna happen.

Now get out of here!

♪♪

Hi. How did you get here?

Believe me, it wasn't easy. I
must've gone through this hotel twice...

before I finally spotted
you sitting in here.

May I sit down? You know,
you're really incredible.

Well, thank you very much.

If you're looking for your date, I
think it'll be at least 10 minutes or so...

before he realizes that urgent
message I sent him was a phony.

You?

Look, Pete, it was fun
talking to you on the

pier and all, but I
don't think that, uh...

- Will you have dinner
with me tomorrow night?
- No, of course not.

Why?

Well, why should I?

Well, for starters, maybe it's because
nobody's ever called me Pete before.

And I want you to.

And you always
get your way, right?

Well, of course.

Well, then, this will be a
first for you. The answer is no,

and I'm afraid I'm gonna have to
ask you to please leave my table.

I don't think I'm
handling this just right.

What's wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you.

It's just that I-I didn't
spend all my savings

to come to this
island and this hotel...

to-to end up with a... with a
deckhand on a fishing boat.

Wait a minute.

You think I'm a fisherman?

And what are you gonna tell
me you are, the shah of Iran?

Well, no. But actually, I'm a...

Is money really that
important to you?

Well, isn't it to everyone?

And I don't like
being laughed at.

Look. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to laugh at you.

While I am not a
shah, I am a prince,

and I'm to be crowned
in a couple of months.

Let me guess. From the smell...

Of course. You must be
the next King Neptune.

I can prove it. I'll be right
back. Mr. Roarke? Yes?

I would like for you to explain to this
young lady exactly who I am, please.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid you have
me at a disadvantage. Um...

Oh, come on. It's me.

It's Peter. Prince Peter.

I'm afraid, young man, I've never
seen you before in my life. Tattoo?

He's a new one on me, boss.

Oh, come on. You can't do this
to me. You must explain who I am.

Whoever you are, we do
have a dress code here.

And until you are ready to comply
with it, I'll have to ask you to leave.

But this is not fair! Wait...
Wait a minute! It's just not right!

I'm sorry if you were
inconvenienced, Miss Malone.

- They won't hurt him,
will they?
- Does it matter to you?

Well, I don't like
to see anyone hurt.

Oh, I see. No, he'll
be treated gently.

I hope you enjoy your
evening. Excuse me.

Quite a young man,
but too impetuous.

Too wild. You wanna
do the Hustle? Hmm?

Ah, Prince Peter. How are
you? Oh, sure. Now you know me.

Well, of course.
Why shouldn't I?

Because an hour ago,
you... Oh, never mind.

I have never been so
humiliated in my life.

I am terminating my
fantasy right here and now.

Are you? Because of that girl?

Yes, I suppose she's
part of it. Uh-huh.

I want back my clothes, my
identification and my money.

Oh, I'm afraid that's
impossible, Peter.

Impossible? Look, I
don't mean to sound

pompous, but I am used
to getting what I want.

Well, in your country,
I'm sure that is the case.

But this is my
country, my realm,

and here, I am to be obeyed.

Yes, but... There are
no "buts" about it, Peter.

Remember that you paid for
three days of complete anonymity.

Three days of being just an
average, hardworking man.

Look, I worked on that boat
today. I proved I could do that.

Oh, my dear Peter.

You have so much to learn,
and so little time to learn it.

But if you want to learn anything
about the people you are to rule,

then you must learn that
it is not the physical labor...

that challenges the average
man and woman, Peter.

No.

It's the constant assaults on their
spirit they must learn to endure.

Assaults on the spirit? Oh, yes.

The violences against the soul
are the ones that hurt the most.

The dreams that slip
away into middle age.

The drudgery of the
same job year after year.

The day-to-day compromises.

The boss who yells at you.

The waiter who looks down his nose
because you are wearing the wrong clothes.

A thousand tiny attacks that
people like you or I never experience.

Oh, yes.

Your fantasy was a
worthy one, Prince Peter,

or I never would
have allowed it.

Because to try to
become an average man...

is to try to become one
of the most overlooked,

unappreciated...

yet noblest creatures of all.

Your, uh, fishing
boat pulls out at dawn.

If you are going to get any sleep at
all, you'd better be on your way now.

I really don't know what to say.

There is one thing.

I know it sounds
crazy, but the girl...

I only talked to
her twice. Chris?

Yes? I really like her.

More, I think I love her.

And you're afraid she won't
like you as yourself, huh?

No, I know she likes me,
but the clothes, the job,

uh, turn her off.

Miss Malone is a young girl
who's had some rough years, Peter.

Her father died while
she was still in high school.

She had to quit to
help support her family.

Yes, I'm afraid she's determined
not to get involved with a poor man.

Then at least I should be
able to tell her who I really am.

I was under the
impression you already had.

Peter, for her sake and yours,

if you really care for her, don't try
to win her with your money and title.

Win her with your
most important asset...

Yourself.

Well, that is something I've
never really had to do before.

Good night, Peter. Good night.

And, uh, good luck.

Thank you.

Who's there? It's me.

Who's me? Me... Peter.

Go away. I gotta talk to you.

I don't wanna talk to you.

If you don't talk to me, I'll-I'll
wake up the whole place.

- Can't you take no
for an answer?
- No. Neither can you.

Look, if you don't get out of
here, I'm gonna call for help.

It's 6:00 in the morning.

Will you have dinner
with me tonight?

Dinner? I haven't even had
breakfast yet. Look, I told you...

Wild orchids. The
best I could find.

Thank you. Now, good-bye.

Um... Tonight? Dinner?

Look, I appreciate the effort, and
the flowers are beautiful... Look, look.

I know you could get
me in a lot of trouble here,

and I could lose my
job on the fishing boat.

Now, you wouldn't want that
on your conscience, would you?

That's a great line.

Then you will have
dinner with me?

Okay, but one condition.

After this, you'll please
stay out of my life.

I'll pick you up around 8:00.

Bye.

Marshal! Marshal! Good
morning, son. What's on your mind?

- It's the Larson brothers!
- Larson brothers?

All right, take it easy.
What are they doing?

It's Mr. Ben at
the general store.

They beat him up
and took his money.

They started
bustin' up the place.

Well, I guess they
chose their ground.

Any sign of Burke?

Not yet. Not as tough
as I thought he was.

He's got to have heard
that shot. Then where is he?

Right here!

Get out of here!

That was some trap you suckered him
into. We're gonna get ourselves killed!

Shut up! We gotta get out.

- Where?
- The door.

- I'll never make it!
- Suit yourself.

Hold it! That's far enough!

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot.

Please, Burke, don't shoot me.

Get up! Get up.

This time, you two
punks are goin' to jail.

Faker! Faker!

Everyone said
you're gonna kill 'em.

You're supposed
to kill 'em, you faker!

You faker!

Hey, come on! In a
minute! In a minute.

Hey! See? I told you it'd fit.

Mmm, yeah, I guess, sort of.

Okay, it doesn't fit so good.

It's the best I could borrow
on such short notice, okay?

Mmm.

Hey, in case you need
some extra bucks, okay?

I don't know what to say, Jamie.

Say you're gonna give
it back to me someday.

You're a real friend.

I guess the first real
friend I've ever had.

I'll think of a way to
repay you one day.

Hey, someday when you're rich, you
can buy me my own fishing boat, okay?

You got it.

It's nightfall. You hadn't
been in all day to eat,

and I thought you
might be hungry.

Well, thanks.

You certainly surprised a lot of people
today when you didn't kill those two men.

Uh-huh. So I noticed.

They're holding a meeting
over in the bar. A kangaroo court.

They're drinkin' up a lot of
whiskey and gettin' their courage up,

and then they're gonna come right over
here and try to hang your three prisoners.

Mmm! This stew
is terrific. Thanks.

Are you gonna do something about it?
They intend to lynch those three men.

They deserve it, don't they?

You really don't intend
to do anything about it?

Why should I?

For the same reason that you couldn't
gun 'em down on the street this afternoon.

Because in spite of all of your
hatred and need for the Old West,

you're a civilized man, Burke.

You can't do it. They haven't
had a trial. They have their rights.

Rights? What about the rights of the people
that were robbed, beat up and killed?

What about their rights? The only rights
my prisoners have is what I give them!

If you let them
hang, that's murder.

It's not murder. It's the law.

No, it's justice. I'm the law. That's
the way it was done in the West.

Well, that doesn't
make it right, does it?

Now, look... No, you look.

That badge you wear gives
you the power to enforce the law.

It isn't a hunting license.

That's where it belongs,

because that's what
you've made of it!

♪♪

It's been a wonderful
evening. I hate to have it end.

It doesn't have to. We're just
starting to get to know one another.

That's just the trouble.

Peter, don't you see I can't?

I-I won't get involved.

Why?

You like me. You know you do.

Must money mean everything?
People must matter more than things.

Well, that's a lovely
storybook idea,

but it just isn't true.

If I really were a prince,
as I've been telling you...

Then I'd believe in Mary
Poppins and fairy tales,

and-and we'd live
very happily ever after.

Then money really is
everything to you, isn't it?

When you haven't
got it, it's the only thing.

I feel so sorry for you.

I feel very sorry
for both of us.

Well, boys, looks like your fan
club is comin' to pay you a visit.

Burke! You can't let
'em get us. We got rights!

My partner's wife and
kids had rights too...

Rights to a father
and a husband.

We didn't kill him. How
many times I gotta tell you?

The next one won't
be in the air, Marshal!

We want those prisoners!

You can't do it, Marshal.
You're the law. You owe us.

Owe you what?

I don't owe you a thing.

We want those prisoners!

You might as well
all go on home, boys.

There isn't gonna be
any hanging here tonight.

- You can't stop us, Marshal.
- Yes, I can, Mr. Logan,
and I will.

Because when I start shooting, you're
the first one that I'm gonna be aiming at.

Now come on, boys.
I'm sorry about this.

I really am. But, uh,

the law is the law,

and some fool has
to uphold that law.

Now those men in there,
they're gonna be held for trial.

What happens after that depends
on a real judge and a real jury.

So why don't you all go on
home before somebody gets hurt?

I thought the streets of New
York City were dangerous, but, uh...

Where are you from? Cleveland.

What'd you do there?

Same thing I do here.

You, um... You wanna
come in and talk?

I-I like the way you talk.

I don't think I'm the kind
of girl you wanna know.

Oh. If it weren't for you,

I'd have had them hung.

Why don't you come in?

It's kind of lonely in there.
I'm tired of bein' lonely.

My name is Julie.

Julie. I like that name.

All is well that ends well.

Oh, I would say it's just the
beginning for Mr. Burke and Julie.

Tattoo, how would you like
to live in the Old West, huh?

I don't think so, boss. Nothing
exciting ever happens here.

Come on, partner.

Let's go thataway.

Got you.

Would you put the bags
in the plane, please?

Thank you.

Mr. Roarke, I don't know how to
thank you. Oh, no thanks are needed.

I assume your, uh, fantasy was
a success, Captain Burke, huh?

Yes, in more ways than one.
It's like starting all over again.

I found out what it
was really like to be...

judge, jury and cop
all rolled into one.

It's a tough road.

You might be interested, then, in a
cablegram I received this morning.

It's from your
chief of detectives.

They've arrested the man really
responsible for your partner's death.

What?

The Larson brothers were
innocent just like they said.

Well, of that crime anyway.

Well, looks like I owe a
certain person a lot of thanks.

- Enjoy your trip.
- What about the town,
Mr. Roarke?

Who's going to be
the new marshal?

Oh, he probably will
be on the next plane.

As I told you, it's our
best-selling fantasy.

Well, thank you very much.

Good-bye.

I'm sorry you feel your fantasy
didn't work out, Peter. But it did really.

I learned what I had to. I guess I
can't ask for much more than that, can I?

And, uh, you've given
up hope for Miss Malone?

I had to.

Indeed.

I think we should try.

But last night,
you said... I know.

I said a lot of things last night,
Peter. We both did. But you were right.

People do have to be more
important than things. I see that now.

I'm glad.

I stayed awake the whole night thinking
of what my life would be like without you.

I hate fish, but I
love the fisherman.

Your plane is leaving.

Oh, before I forget.

Jamie asked me to express his gratitude
for the new fishing boat you gave him.

It arrived this morning.

Fishing boat? You gave
him? I don't understand.

Explain it to her on the plane,
Peter. You'll have plenty of time.

And we expect to be
invited to the wedding.

Do you think they'll be happy?

Princess Grace is.

Who is Princess Grace?

Grace Kelly, the
princess of Monaco.

What's Monaco? Uh...