Family Ties (1982–1989): Season 2, Episode 19 - Baby Boy Doe - full transcript

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love
each other through ♪



♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

"All campers must bring

"one flashlight, four batteries,

"one canteen, 200 candy bars,

1,000 Oreos,
two pair of sneakers..."

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Something doesn't sound right
on that list.

Oh, you're right.

One pair of sneakers
would be plenty.

No, it was before that...

Something about
candy and cookies.



See, Jen? You were greedy.

I told you,
just go for the candy bars.

Take my word for it, Jennifer.

Camp Winnetka
will be so much fun,

you won't have time
to think about candy bars.

Hope you have a better
time than I did.

I hated camp.

What didn't you like about it?

Well, the way the whole
thing was set up.

I mean, girls on
one side of the lake,

boys on the other.

Thank god I'm a good swimmer.

Aah.

Hello, Skippy.
Hello, Mr. Keaton.

Alex, I got to talk to you.
It's an emergency.

What's wrong, Skip?

That's just how
I get people's attention.

Usually when Skippy Handelman
walks into a room,

people tend to... walk away.

Skippy, you're exaggerating.
That's not true.

Come on, Jennifer,
let's go in the other room

and study this camp list
of yours.

Color TV? You're going to camp.

You're supposed to be
roughing it.

Okay, I'll just bring
the black-and-white.

Skippy: Alex...

I need to talk to you.

What's wrong, Skip?

I found out something
unbelievable about my parents.

Come on, Skip.
All adults do that.

It means they love each other.

No, no, no.
That's not what I mean.

What do you mean?

I can't live with
the Handelmans anymore.

Skippy, what are you
talking about?

You are a Handelman.

Yeah, that's what
I thought, too,

until 3:00 this afternoon.

Alex, here. Look at this.

Skip, these are adoption papers.

That's right.

My real name isn't
Irwin Handelman.

It's Baby Boy Doe.

Where did you find these?

In my mom's dre...
I mean, in, uh...

Mrs. Handelman's dresser drawer.

Wait a minute. Um...

What were you doing

going through
your mother's drawers?

Oh, Alex, what difference
does it make?!

She's not my real mom anyway!

Adopted?

Skip... Listen...

Uh, here. You want to sit down?

Here, get off your feet.
C-can I get you something?

Alex, I'm adopted!
I'm not pregnant!

This is big news.

Yeah. You're telling me.

My whole life has been a lie.

I'm not who I thought I was.

Nothing about me
is what I thought it was.

I might not even
need these glasses.

Alex... I'm...

Where are you?

Uh, Skip, you need 'em.
You need 'em.

Alex, I don't even know
who I am.

I don't know who my family is.

I want to find
my real parents, Alex.

I want to find my roots.

I'm leaving for Africa
in the morning.

I told you,
when we watched that on TV,

those are his roots.

That doesn't apply to everybody.

Where are my roots, Alex?

I don't know, Skip.

We should've told him
a long time ago, Rose.

Why don't we admit it?
We made a mistake.

Harry, I'm too upset
to admit anything.

We should've told Skippy
he was adopted long ago.

Let's admit it, Harry.
We made a mistake.

That's what I just said.

Well, I agree with it, anyway.

You know, Rose,
n-now that Skippy

is aware of the situation,

you should feel relieved...

I mean, that
the pretending's over.

Well, how can we feel relieved?

We're so scared
about what might happen

if he meets Elizabeth...
Uh, his natural mother.

Exactly what are you afraid of?

What do you think
might happen if they meet?

Well, anything could happen...
Anything could happen, Steven.

Skippy might like her
better than he likes us,

or she might try to
get him to move in with her.

You know,
once somebody's met Skippy,

it's very hard for them

to imagine living without him.

You know, once, when he was 12,
I was gonna tell him.

I was all poised to say,
"Skippy, you're adopted."

But I lost my nerve.

It came out, "Skippy,
you're a doctor."

I had to let him
take my temperature.

And now he wants to
meet that other woman.

Why is it so important to him?

What kind of a son
wants to meet his mother?

Harry: So, what should we do?

I mean, are we crazy
to be so upset?

Should we let him meet her?

Should we tell him
where she lives?

It's difficult to know what to do
in these... It's a very personal...

We're asking you for help.

I mean, if you two
had some personal problems,

what two people
would you call upon?

Us, right?

Huh.

So, what should we do?

Uh, maybe we should
tell him where she lives.

I think it would mean
a lot to Skippy

if you, uh, helped him find her.

Elyse: Well, look, Rose.

If... if Skippy doesn't meet
his natural mother now,

he's always gonna
wonder about her.

And I think it might
be good for him

if he thought that you weren't
afraid for him to meet her.

But we are.

We're supposed to be
washing dishes, Mallory.

What are you doing?

I was just thinking.

No, seriously.

Alex!

All right, all right.
What are you thinking about?

I was thinking about Skippy.

I know what you mean.

I've been thinking
about him, too.

He's really upset about this
adoption thing, isn't he?

I think it's the way
he found out, you know?

He's innocently going through
his mother's drawers,

looking for money...

And he finds adoption papers.

You know, when I was little,

I used to think I was
from another planet.

Don't give up that thought, Mal.

And one day, my space mom
would come down and find me

and take me back there with her.

Why don't you go up
on the roof and wait for her?

I just got off the phone
with Mrs. Handelman.

She's still really upset.

Do you, uh...

Do you think they're gonna
tell Skippy where his mom is?

I don't know.
That's a hard thing to do.

Mom, you're a mother.

How could a mother just
give away her own baby?

I can't answer that.

I-I don't know
what the circumstances were.

You just know
that has to have been

a very difficult thing to do.

I guess she just did
what she thought was best.

When I have a baby,
I'm gonna keep it.

Even if it turns out
to be an Alex.

I kept him.

Well, it wasn't easy, Jennifer,
but you are all packed.

Great.

Just think...
Tomorrow at this time,

I'll be a full-fledged camper.

Now, here are a few postcards.

They're all stamped and dated.

All you have to do
is send one to us every day.

I can't write you a postcard
every day.

Well, I-i know that.

That's why I pre-wrote a few
for you.

"Dear mom and dad,

camp is fun,
but I miss you terribly."

Now, all you have to do
is sign one every day.

Well, why don't
I just sign them all now?

That way I won't have to
take 'em to camp.

Hi. Can I come in?

You're always welcome
in this house. Come on.

Why is everybody
being so nice to Skippy?

Well, haven't you heard?
I'm adopted.

Have a seat, Skip.

I have the address
of my real mother.

No kidding.
Where did you get it?

From my fake mom.

Skippy!

I'm sorry, uh...
From Mrs. Handelman.

She kept in touch
with my real mom's family

over the years.

Are you gonna make
contact with her?

I'm gonna see her tomorrow.
She lives in Dayton.

Are your parents
driving you over?

No. No, I-i couldn't
ask 'em to do that.

I'm gonna take a bus
first thing in the morning.

Oh, Skip, listen.
You don't have to do that.

I'll, uh, I'll drive you.

Oh, Alex, that's great.
You're a real friend.

If you ever get adopted,
I'll drive you to Dayton.

Come on, Jennifer, let's go.
We don't want to miss that bus!

Hey, hey, dad, dad, dad.

Let me help you with that.
Oh, thanks, Alex.

There you go.
Straight to the door.

Don't try anything tricky, okay?
Good luck.

Okay, now, don't forget,
and write every day.

I will.

Now, it may seem
like three weeks

are a long time
to be away from home,

honey... But you're gonna meet a
lot of wonderful new friends.

Beep, beep.

You're gonna have
a wonderful time,

so don't you feel sad, okay?

Coming through! Hot stuff!

Let me tell you a little story

about when I went away
to camp...

Elyse! Oh. Sorry.

Have a wonderful time!

Bye-bye, Jen. Bye, Alex.

Don't stand up in a canoe!

Don't play with matches!

My baby girl's gone!

She's back!

Hi, Skippy.

Hello, Mrs. Keaton.

Skippy, are you all right?

Yeah.

We adoptees,
we're made of stern stuff.

Did you know Moses was adopted?

Yeah. Art linkletter, too.

Skippy, I know you're upset now,

and I just want you
to know if there's, uh,

anything I can do,
don't hesitate to ask.

Mallory...

There's nothing
that you could do

that could cheer me up.

Whoa. Skippy.

You really are upset.

Alex, don't call me Skippy
anymore, all right?

Okay... Irwin.

No, no, no.
Call me by my given name...

Baby Boy Doe.

Okay.

Baby Boy Doe.

Why... why do you have
a suitcase, Skippy?

Aren't you coming home tonight?

Yeah. I've got some things
I want to show my mother.

We've got a lot of
catching up to do.

Look at this.

My first pair of baby shoes.

The ones my mother
never got to buy for me.

My, you had...

Very large baby feet.

They say that's
a sign of intelligence.

Well, at least they used to.

Hello, Alex.

Is Baby Boy... Here?

I thought you might get hungry,

so I brought you
your favorite...

Peanut butter
and carrot sandwiches.

We just want you to know

that we love you
with all our hearts.

I hope you find what you're
looking for in Dayton.

I hope you find Dayton.

It gets a little tricky
around the Wilson interchange.

Thank you,
Mr. and Mrs. Handelman.

Alex, let's go.

4b. This is it.

Ah, Alex!

Aah!

It's my mom.

I'll knock.

Oh, I'm scared. You knock.

Woman: Coming!

You're gonna be fine, Skip.

Right. I'll be fine.

Irwin!

Uh... No, no, no, no, no.

No. No, I-I'm not Irwin.

Irwin's right here.
Irwin... Skippy...

Um...

Plant needs water.

Hello, Irwin.

Hello...

Ma'am.

Oh, don't be so formal.
Call me Elizabeth.

Hello, Elizabeth.

Uh...

This is my friend, Alex.
Alex Keaton.

Hi. Alex. Alex Keaton.

Oh. Nice to meet you, Alex.
Alex Keaton.

Alex drove me here today
because I-i don't drive yet.

My birthday's not until...

March.

Oh, that's right. I forgot...

She was there.

Please, come inside.

Uh.

Skip, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna wait out here, okay?

Alex, I need...
Skippy... You'll be fine.

I'll be right here.

It really is you
after all these years.

Do I look the same?

Well, you're bigger...

And you've got more hair,
but otherwise, yeah,

you look the same.

Uh...

I-I don't recognize you.

Oh. Well, that's understandable.

Last time we saw each other,

you were only a few weeks old.

So, tell me all about it.

All the things we did together.

There's not much to tell.

Basically, you ate and slept

and went through
a lot of diapers.

Those were good times,
weren't they?

Well... Not completely good.

No, I wouldn't say
they were good times.

What do you mean?

That was a difficult
period of my life.

I was 18 and unmarried

and ostracized
by everybody I knew.

What about my father?

I bet he was a great guy, huh?

Well, he was... Young, too.

Did, uh, did he know about me?

Oh, he knew.

He... he wasn't interested.

I see.

Hey, people are like that.
I understand.

So, uh...

What was his name?

Was he tall?

Did he ever play
a professional sport?

I-I really don't
want to talk about him.

I want to know.

He was my father.

He may be your father, but...

He was nothing to me.

Nothing?

It was a mistake.

Then I was a mistake, too, huh?

Well, hey,
that's all in the past now.

We could start fresh.

You want to hear about,
uh, my hobbies

or my ambitions?

Would you like to
see my vaccination?

Oh. I don't think so.

Okay, uh...

Well, then, let's talk
about you, mom.

What do you do?

I'm a secretary.

See? That's amazing.

Typing's my best subject. Oh.

Ask me anything.

Or, uh, better yet,

why don't you bring out
your typewriter?

I don't have a typewriter here.

That's okay. Uh...

Next time I come,
I'll bring mine.

Oh, mom, this is gonna be great.

I can come by
once a week, and...

And we can talk and type and...

Irwin...

I think it's best that you don't
come to visit me again.

Why not?

Irwin, you have parents.

I'm sure you're
very important to them.

I have m-my own life, too.

I can't become a mother,
just like that.

It's not that easy.

It would be very disruptive
for both of us.

You understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, I understand.

You don't want me.

Do you have any idea

how painful it is
seeing you again?

It took me 15 years
to get my life together again,

and you just want to
rip it apart again.

What do you want from me?

I want to know
how you could do it.

How could you?

How could you just give me away?

It was the hardest thing
I ever had to do.

But you still did it!

I wanted you to have
a good life!

I couldn't give it to you.

I wanted you to have
a real family,

nice house, and a dog.

You have a dog, erwin?

No.

But I have a sister.

Even better.

I'd rather have a dog.

Well...

I'll be getting
out of your way now.

Irwin...

You may find this
hard to believe,

but I gave you away
because I loved you.

You were my baby boy.

You remembered my name.

So, Skippy, uh...

You want something to drink?

Uh, pretzels?

No. No, Alex. Thanks.

I'm too depressed to eat.

Hey, uh, why don't we toss
a softball around, huh?

How does that sound?

Dangerous.

In the state I'm in,
I'd probably miss the ball,

and it would hit me in the face.

Usually happens anyway, Skip.

Alex, I'm in a daze.
I'm stunned.

My mother rejected me... Again.

My mother never
would've acted that way.

That's just the point, Skip.

See, she wouldn't
have done that...

Because she is your mother.

She loves you.

Wait a minute. Which mother
are you talking about?

I'm talking about your mother...

N-not... Not the one from today,

but your other mother...
Your real mother.

The one from today
is my real mother.

Well, that's true, but I was
referring to the mother

that you thought
was your real mother

until a few days ago.

You mean my mother.

That's what I said, Skip,
your mother.

When you said my mother,
I thought you meant my mother,

as in, the one
who was my mother first.

No, no. I'm talking
about your other mother,

not the mother
who... who knew you first.

The mother that you knew first.

Got it.

What about her?

Look, Skip.

All... all I'm trying to say
to you is this.

Y-your mother...
Didn't reject you.

The woman who gave birth
to you rejected you.

You mean my mother?

Let's not start
this again, Skip.

Look...

When you were 7 years old,

and you got your head
caught in the banister,

who got you loose?

My mom.

Which mom?

The one that raised me...

Mrs. Handelman.

That's right.

And when you were 13 years old,

and you got your head
caught in the banister...

who got you loose?

That time it was my dad...

Mr. Handelman.

Skip...

If it wasn't for
those two people...

Your head would be stuck
in that banister right now.

That's true.

See...

The woman you met today
is your natural mother.

And... and there's
a guy out there

who is your natural father.

But they haven't been a part
of your life for 16 years.

They... they've had no role
in... in nurturing you,

in molding you,
in... in caring for you.

They, uh...

They created a baby...

But they had no part
in creating the human being

that's Irwin n. Handelman.

Oh, even so, Alex...

How would you feel

if you found out
that your mom and dad

aren't your natural parents?

It would explain a lot of
inconsistencies in my family.

Look, what it gets
right down to, Skip, is...

The people who are
most important in your life

are the people who love you

and the people
who care about you.

And you got those people,

just as much as I do.

You're home.

Yeah. Just got back.

Uh, we would've
been here sooner,

but we got stuck
at the Wilson interchange.

I was worried you might.

They ought to put
better signs up there.

Oh, how'd it go... Baby Boy?

Uh... You don't have to
call me that anymore.

Did you meet...

Her?

Yeah. I met her.

She was...

Pretty nice.

I see.

Alex met her, too.

Yeah. Yeah, she was,
um, she was nice.

Well...

I'm... Glad

your real mother's nice.

You're my real mother.

Oh, mom.

Hey! What about me?

You're my real dad, dad!

Let's go home
and have real dinner!

Let's go home!

I just said that.