Family Ties (1982–1989): Season 2, Episode 16 - Ready or Not - full transcript

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love
each other through ♪



♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

Is it midnight yet?

Eight more minutes.

Mallory's never violated
her curfew before.

She still has eight minutes,
Elyse.

That's right.

Seven minutes.

Come on, Steven. This is silly.

We should be happy
that she's going out

with someone as nice as Rick.

He's a terrific kid.



He's a terrific college man,
Elyse.

He's 18. She's 16.

That's only two years'
difference in their age.

That is a very big difference
at this age, Elyse.

Let him come back when he's 35
and she's 33.

We know Rick. We like Rick.

He's never been anything
but a perfect gentleman with me.

It's not you
I'm worried about, Elyse.

Mallory's here.
Let's get out of here.

Why? We don't want her to know

we've been waiting up for her.
Oh, right. Right.

Oh, the kitchen. The bedroom.

Bedroom. Oh!

The kitchen. The kitchen.

We made it.

With five minutes to spare.

I had so much fun
at that party, Rick.

I like your friends a lot.

They liked you, too.

Three different guys asked me
if you had any sisters.

Really? Yeah.

Oh, by the way,
tell Jennifer that...

Biff, Rocky, and Howard
will be calling her tomorrow.

Well, here we are again...
Our couch.

I'm beginning to feel
like I should pay rent on it.

You don't need to.
The landlady likes you.

That was really nice.

Yeah, let's do it again
sometime.

I'm free now.

Whoa.

I think you better go now, Rick.

I'm expected to walk
to my car after this?

Rick.

Sorry, but it's hard for me

to get worked up like this
every time I go out with you

and then just drive home alone.

It isn't easy for me, either.

Mallory...

We've been seeing each other
for four months now,

and they've been four
of the best months of my life.

I feel the same way.

But for us to keep
going together,

I think we need to explore
new territory...

expand the horizons
of our relationship, and...

And discover
the wonders of nature.

Are you trying to say
we should go camping?

This... this is tough for me
to... to ask you this,

'cause I hear myself
and I sound like a...

Like another guy
coming on to a girl when...

When you know that's not
what's going on here.

Don't you?

I do. But it's a big step
for me, Rick.

I know. I know.

But look at it this way...

You won't have to
go through it alone.

I'll be with you.

Oh, is that how it works?

Pretty much.

Think about it?

I will.

So, Mallory, what are you
gonna do about Rick?

Are you gonna sleep with him?

I don't know.
I haven't decided yet.

The way I see it,
you got two choices...

You do it or you lose him.

That's not true.

Oh, come on, margo.
Rick's in college.

If Mallory won't sleep with him,

he can find plenty of girls
who will.

Sex is practically
on the curriculum.

That's no reason to do it.

Are you in love with Rick,
Mallory?

I'm not sure.

I might be.

I know I've never felt this way
about any other guy.

Bill and I have been
going together for two years.

We're in love,
and we haven't slept together.

What do you want, a medal?

No.

I just want Mallory to know

she doesn't have to rush
into anything.

I'm not so sure about that.

Guys like Rick don't walk
into your life every day.

At least your first time will be
something worth remembering,

not like mine and Danny Frankl...

You and Danny Franklin?

Kathy, you didn't tell us.
This is major information here.

It was a mistake.
I got carried away.

I mean, he didn't love me.

He just wanted to go to bed
with me...

Like any man in his right mind.

Hi. Just wanted
to make myself a sandwich.

Well, do you have to do it
in here?

This is where we keep the food.

Dad.

Never mind.

I'll just go gnaw
on the woodwork.

Mallory...

if you decide to do this,

be sure to get
some birth control.

Well, Rick said
he'd take care of that.

You can't rely on the guy,
Mallory.

He's not the one
who's gonna get pregnant.

I don't know.

Isn't it kind of unromantic
to plan the whole thing?

It's also unromantic
to be 16 and pregnant.

Okay, on that happy note...

um, we got to go.

I was supposed to pick up my mom
a half-hour ago.

Call me if you want to talk
about it, okay?

Okay. Thanks.

See you, Mal. Bye, Mal.

Did I just hear
your friends leave?

Yeah.
Kathy had to pick her mom up.

Ah. You need any help
cleaning up?

No, thanks.

Can we have a talk, Mallory?

Sure.

Yeah, I-i don't know
exactly how to put this,

so I'll just... I'll just
come right out and say it.

Are you and Rick...

You know?

You know?

Not exactly how I meant
to phrase it.

It shouldn't be so hard for me
to talk to you about sex.

I'm your mother.
I knew you before you were born.

Do we have to talk
about this, mom?

Well, yeah, we do.

See, Mallory, I-i know
how you feel about Rick,

and I-i thought
maybe you'd be confused

and you could use a talk.

I don't know what you mean, mom.
I'm not confused at all.

Oh, I've got a lot of homework
to get done,

so, um, I better get started.

Here. Have a cookie.

I got to go.

I-I don't want a cookie.
I-i want to talk.

Jennifer, is this
absolutely necessary?

I told you I have
a school assignment

to record family conversations.

What are you studying to be,
an FBI agent?

Alex, this is Jennifer's
school project.

We'll be glad to help.

Jennifer, if you don't mind.

Dad, why don't we take a break,
get a snack?

Funny how you always
want to take a break

when I'm winning, Alex.

Checkmate, dad. You happy?

How'd he do that?

Louder, dad.

How did he do... oh.

Well, I guess
this is good night.

It has the usual elements.

It's dark out,

and you're shutting the door
in my face.

You know,
I think there's a chance

I might get to like you.

You think so, huh?

Just a hunch. And you?

Uh, I'm not sure.

Maybe.

Um, Mallory...

have you given any thought

to what we talked about
the other night?

It did cross my mind
a few thousand times.

Well, look, I-i know that...

That you have some doubts
about this,

that it's a big step for you,

but I've been thinking
about it, too,

and I have a few things to say
on the subject... Rick...

My answer is yes.

I-I got so nervous,

I forgot the rest of my...
My... my speech.

Thank you.

Oh, Al... Alex, you busy?

Uh, yeah, kind of, dad.

Look, look,
Jennifer's getting frustrated

about this project of hers.

She hasn't gotten a usable
conversation on tape yet.

Well, I'm trying to figure out
a calculus problem, dad.

Come on. Come on.
It'll just take a second.

Look, when I press "record,"

let's have
a spontaneous conversation.

So...

Alex, my son...

I see you're doing
some math homework.

Yes, dad.

My father.

I sure am.

How goes it?

All goes well, dad.

Great thing about numbers...

You can always count on 'em.

Oh!

Oh, my.

That is very funny.

Dad?

Yes?

This is the most
boring conversation

I have ever had.

I know. Me... me too.

We're putting too much pressure
on ourselves to be spontaneous.

See you later, son.

Alex, do you have a minute?
I want to ask you a question.

I'm all ears.

Well, you're a guy.

Mallory, uh I'm not just a guy.

I like to think of myself
as a guy and a half.

What's up?

Okay, I was wondering...

How important is sex to a guy?

Well, I'd say it has
a certain importance.

Well, on a scale of 1 to 10.

35.

That's what I thought.

Wait.
Why are you asking me this?

I'm just making conversation.

No, no, no, no, no.
This is not conversation.

Conversation is, uh,
"how you doing?"

Uh, "looks like rain."

"Care for a waffle?"

There's something going on here
you're not telling me.

Wait a minute, Mallory.

Uh, has Rick...

Asked you to visit his tepee?

You mean sleep with him?

Yeah. Yeah, has he?

Well, yeah, he has.

Oh. Well, when you said
you wouldn't sleep with him...

I mean, you were nice to him.

I mean, you let him down easy,
I hope.

I said yes.

I see.

Uh, just a moment.

Are you crazy?

Is this the way
I brought you up?

Cut it out, Alex.

Look, Mallory, you're making
a big mistake here.

You are 16 years old.
That is too young.

Well, have you ever?

Have I ever what?

Had someone visit your tepee.

Me?

Of course I have.

But I was much older than you.

You're 16.

I was 17.

And a half.

I was 17, 8 months, and 3 days,
and it was leap year.

You're babbling, Alex.

Look, Mallory,
y-you just can't do this.

It's wrong.
You're not ready yet.

Why wasn't it wrong
when you did it?

Oh, come on. That's different.
I'm a guy.

That is such
a double standard, Alex.

If a guy loses his virginity,
he's some kind of hero,

but if a girl does,
she's ruined her life?

That's stupid.

Well, it may be stupid,
but it's the law of nature.

You can't fight that.

Look, it's your duty
as a woman to say no.

You know, if women shirk
that responsibility,

men, uh, men would never
get any work done.

Well, Alex, it's obvious

that you can't be objective
about this.

Why do you want to do this,
Mallory?

Well, I care very much
about Rick.

And I'm attracted to him.

I'm curious.

I'm curious about astronomy.

You don't see me
riding the Space Shuttle.

Look, uh, Mallory...
Why don't you, uh...

Why don't you talk to mom
about this?

She lives for this stuff.

I can't do that, Alex.

You know how hard it is
to talk to parents about this.

All right. Okay.

Well, whatever you decide to do,
don't do it.

Alex, I know,
in your own warped way,

you've tried to help.

I appreciate it.

Why are these kids
in such a hurry to grow up?

Well, this is it.

The folks from
architectural digest

will be here next week,
so try not to mess up.

I'll do my best.

Allow me to take care
of a few details.

First...

Mood lighting.

Second, soft music.

Oh. The stereo's broken.
I forgot.

Uh...

♪ mm-mmm

It's the best I can do.

And finally...

some flowers.

They have to be back
by midnight.

So do I.

Mm, Rick, did you get
what we talked about?

Birth control?

Oh. Um...

I stopped by the drugstore
on the way to pick you up.

Uh, I also got some, uh,
dental floss

and baseball cards, too.

Thanks.

Oh, no problem.

Uh, I got doubles
of Reggie Jackson

if you want one.

Rick, how do you feel right now?

I mean, are you happy
we're gonna do this?

You can't begin
to imagine how happy.

What's the problem?

I don't know.

I'm just a little nervous
about this, that's all.

That's only natural.

Could we talk
for a little while first?

Sure.

What do you wanna talk about?

I don't know.

We never had trouble making
conversation other times.

Yeah, well,
other times haven't been

right before
we're about to make love.

That is just the point, Rick.

I mean, things shouldn't change
because of sex.

If... if we can make
conversation other times,

we should be able
to make conversation now.

Let's talk.

Um...

Did you enjoy dinner tonight?

Very much.

Me too.

Okay, I'm ready.

Mallory, look...

The last thing I want to do
is to put any pressure on you.

If you don't want to do this,

if you don't want to
make love tonight,

then just say so.

I don't want to make love
tonight.

Why not?!

We talked about it.
We... we planned on it.

I got the flowers.

I thought I wanted
to sleep with you,

and now all of a sudden
I'm scared.

I don't know
if I'm ready for this.

Mallory, I care about you.
I really do.

But I'm not
in high school anymore.

And if we're gonna have
a relationship,

it's got to keep moving forward.

And is sex the only way
that's gonna happen?

No, no, no.
It's not the only way.

But it's definitely my favorite.

Maybe I should go home now.

That's a good idea.
Why don't you?

Are we gonna
see each other again?

I don't know.

Oh. Hi, Mallory.

You're home early.
How was your date with Rick?

Fine. What did you do?

Oh, uh, gosh.

We saw a movie.

Ah. What did you see?

Uh... I forget exactly.

Something part two.

Well, where's Rick?
Why didn't he come in with you?

He didn't bring me home.
We had a fight.

Ah. Uh, do you want to talk
about it?

Mom, if I ask you something,

do you promise not to ask
why I'm asking?

All right.

Is there any way to know

when is the right time
in your life for sex?

Oh, why do you ask?

Don't worry. Nothing's happened.

It's just sort of been
on my mind lately, that's all.

I mean, whether you can ever
be sure of the right time.

Can you?

I-I don't think
there is any positive way

to know when is the right time.

In fact, I'm not even sure
there's such a thing

as the absolute right time.

It's so hard for me
to sort out my feelings

from what my friends say
or what the guy says

or what I read in magazines.

Mom, I want to do
what is best for me,

but right now I'm too confused
to know what that is.

Well, if you're confused...

then... then I think
you should wait.

You'll... you'll be able
to handle it much better

when you're older.

I know I will.

And what if waiting means
losing a boyfriend I like a lot?

Any boyfriend worth keeping
will understand.

He should know that sex
should never be used

as a test of love.

Thanks, mom.

I'm glad we had this talk.

So am I.

Mallory. I won't stay long.

I just want to talk about
what happened tonight.

Hi, there, Rick.

Oh, Mrs. Keaton, what a...
A pleasant surprise.

Mm.

Mom, can I talk to Rick
for a minute?

Hmm? Oh, uh, sure.

I was just going up.

Good night, Rick.

What did you want to say?

Mallory, I'm...

I'm disappointed
at the way things went tonight.

And I'd... I'd be lying
if I said otherwise.

But I took a shower,
and I feel a little better now.

Is that what you came over
to tell me?

No. No, that's not all.

I, uh... I-i know

that I'm... I'm not the most
sensitive guy in the world,

especially when my hormones
take over.

And if you don't want to go out
with me anymore, I understand.

But I-i hope that's not
how you feel,

because I'd really like
to keep seeing you, Mallory.

How'd that sound?

Fine.

Good. I practiced it
the whole ride over.

I do want to keep seeing you,
Rick,

but I'm not ready
to sleep with you.

Hey, that's okay.

If you're not comfortable
with it, then neither am I.

Okay.

Maybe we could set Thanksgiving
as the target date.