Family Ties (1982–1989): Season 1, Episode 12 - Oops - full transcript

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love
each other through ♪



♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

I'm gonna need the car
tomorrow night.

I got a meeting
of youth for a sane economy.

Still working on that
"miss a payment, go to prison"

legislation?

Debt happens to be a serious
problem in this country, dad.

It's a serious problem
in this home,

by the looks
of this bank statement.

Elyse, I'm not sure
about something here.

What's that?

Unless I'm mistaken, you gave
$50 to the mafia last month.



What?

Oh!

Oh, no, that's Mothers Against
Fluorocarbons in the Atmosphere.

- I think.
- You think?

I'm sure, but just to be safe,

if a guy named Fast Eddy calls,
hang up.

You know, I don't want to tell you
guys how to spend your money,

but I feel
this whole fluorocarbon issue

has been exaggerated.

Exaggerated? Fluorocarbons
are ruining our atmosphere.

- Yeah.
- Okay, okay.

I admit
air is kind of important.

But we're talking
about the convenience

of the American consumer here.

What would life be like
without hairspray,

without deodorant,
without bug repellant?

Maybe he has a point.

If we didn't have spray paint,

everyone would be forced
to do graffiti by hand.

- I'll get it.
- Get what?

Wasn't that the doorbell?

I didn't hear anything.

Oh, well, I'm expecting
Cindy to come over,

and I have to know the minute
she gets here

because we're going to study

and we don't want to be
disturbed.

We'll try and resist.

Jennifer, don't read
while you're walking.

Well, it's nice to see
someone reading

a good, old-fashioned book
around here.

What have you got there...
"Charlotte's Web,"

"Winnie-the-Pooh,"
"Treasure Island"?

"Our Bodies, Ourselves."

What's a book like that
doing in this house?

There's nothing wrong
with this, Alex.

It's just a health
and sex manual for women.

It just doesn't seem right...
A bunch of women

writing about stuff
that should only be discussed

in a men's locker room.

Lighten up, Alex.

Mom,

did I really look like that
when I was born...

Red, wrinkled, and bald?

Kind of.

Boy, I really improved with age.

If I keep it up,
I might be gorgeous.

What are you doing
with that book?

I don't see a book.

You came in my room
when I wasn't there, didn't you?

You started snooping around.
You took it off my desk.

I didn't take that
off your desk.

I got it from your top drawer,
under your diary.

Jennifer, you know better than
to go in your sister's desk.

I know. I'm sorry.
But I needed the book.

I had a question
about jogging bras.

"Our Bodies, Ourselves."

Why are you reading that, Mal?

Oh, that?

Uh, Cindy and I are studying it
tonight for Health class.

But pregnancy and childbirth?

Just last week,
you were studying dental care.

It's an honors class.
We move fast.

- Mallory.
- Hi, Cindy.

Hi.

We have to talk.

Maybe Cindy has dental problems.

So, what are the test results?

I'm pregnant.

Oh, wow. Pregnant.

I can't believe it.
It just doesn't seem possible.

The woman at the clinic said

she wished she had a nickel
every time she heard that.

I don't know what to do, Mal.
I'm scared.

Well, what did the doctor say?

"You have blue cross?"

I'm not sure I'm ready
to be a mother.

I mean,
you have to change diapers.

You have to pretend to be
the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.

You have to teach them
how to drive.

You have to plan their weddings.

Uh, Cindy, I think you're getting
a little ahead of yourself.

Can you imagine Fred Burrows
as somebody's father?

I mean, this is the same guy

who took the "Wet Paint"
signs off the bleachers

and hid the hamster
in Mrs. Keefer's desk.

Maybe he's matured since then.

I don't think so.
The hamster thing was last week.

I know how hard homework can be.

Thought we could use a snack.

No, thanks.

So, what are we having?
Girl talk?

More like woman talk.

I'm ready.

No, you're not.

- Jen, this is really...
- Never mind. Don't say it.

I know when I'm not wanted.

Guess you guys won't be
needing these, then.

They're not for women.
They're for girls.

So, what are you gonna
tell your mother?

Nothing.

I've just decided

I'm gonna keep a low profile
for the next nine months.

Good luck.

Come on, I can't talk to her.

You know how my mother is.

Oh, I wish she were
more like your mom.

Well, do you want to
talk to my mom about it?

Maybe. Do you think she'd help?

- Can't hurt to try.
- Okay.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Uh, mom, could you come up here
for a sec, please?!

Could you help Cindy and me...
Move some furniture?!

You want me to help?!

No.
This is... Pretty heavy stuff.

I just can't go home.

If my mom finds out about this,
she's gonna kill me.

Don't worry. You can stay here
if you have to.

What's going on?

Oh, mom,
Cindy needs to talk to you.

What is it, Cindy?

Well, I-i don't know
how to say this.

- She's pregnant.
- That says it.

Preg... oh, Cindy.
I'm so sorry. Are you sure?

I'm positive,
and so was the test.

Mrs. Keaton,
this is the worst thing

that's ever happened to me.

Oh, honey, you must be
so terrified. Can I help?

I don't know.

I'm so confused.

I don't know whether
to have an abortion

or put the baby up for adoption
or keep it.

Maybe I should just dye my hair,
change my name, move to Kansas,

and bring it up
as my kid sister.

What do your parents say?

Well, there's really just my
mom, and I haven't told her yet.

I just can't face her right now.

Well, you're welcome
to stay here tonight.

I don't know
if I could face her tomorrow.

You can stay here
as long as you want.

My mom and I would love
to help you, right, mom?

Well, we would
love to help you, honey,

but I don't think staying here
will solve your problem.

I think you should
talk to your mother.

Are you kidding?
You don't know my mother.

I mean, she doesn't even
let me read Cosmopolitan.

Yeah, she can't talk to her.
You know what mothers are like.

Yeah, I've heard.

Honey, look,

this problem is too big
for you to tackle by yourself.

I really think
you should go home.

I'd still rather stay here...

For eight or nine years.

Mom, she can't go home.

Look, I know it's not gonna
be easy, but she's got to do it.

Honey, if it were you,
I'd want to know about it.

But, mom...

Okay, okay, I'll...

I'll try it your way, but...

But, I mean,
my mom's unreasonable.

I mean, she got upset when she
found out the prom was co-ed.

I thought
I heard someone down here.

What are you doing up, Mallory?

Oh, I can't sleep.
I'm too worried about Cindy.

I just came down
for a little snack.

A little snack?

A Turkey sandwich,
ice cream, chocolate cake.

Some countries
don't eat that much.

Okay, I overdid it.

But I'm worried about Cindy.

And when I'm worried, I eat.

Well, of course
you're worried about her.

Cindy and her mom are going
through a tough time.

- But they'll work it out.
- I don't know.

Why don't you go upstairs
and get some sleep?

I'm sure you'll hear all about
it from Cindy in the morning.

Okay.

- Good night, honey.
- Good night.

It's for energy.
It's a long walk upstairs.

I can't believe
this thing with Cindy.

I mean, I still think of her
as a little girl

who used to play with Mallory.

She's not a little girl anymore.

I know.

And neither is Mallory.
She's the same age as Cindy.

Yeah?

Well, they're in the same class.

They're in the same crowd.

I'm worried about her.

Look, Cindy and Mallory
are two different people.

Okay.

Maybe I'm overreacting,

but I don't think Mallory

should be allowed out of
the house until she's 35.

Steven.

Okay.

30.

Kids are growing up too fast.

Half the teenagers in America
are sexually active today.

I mean, what's going on
with these kids today?

Wait a minute.

Do I sound like Alex?

Yes, Steven.

Look, in the '60s, when all
these changes were coming about,

the new honesty
between men and women,

a healthy, open attitude
toward sex...

I thought they were positive.
I still believe that.

But now that I have
a 15-year-old daughter,

some of those beliefs are...

- Out the window?
- On the ledge.

But you wouldn't want
things to go back

to the way they were
when we were kids, would you?

It was terrible...

Boys trying to get reputations,

girls trying
not to get reputations.

Just who were the boys
getting reputations with?

At my school,
it was Betsy hogan.

I heard of her.

Okay, you're right.

Things weren't fair back then,

but at least
there were guidelines.

Oh, we were ignorant and scared.

Don't you think
it's a good thing

that kids
know more about sex today?

Well, sure.
I want Mallory to know more.

I just don't want her
to do more.

Look, we have a great
relationship with Mallory.

All we have to do is keep
the lines of communication open.

- I still can't sleep.
- Oh.

You've been gone a minute.
Did you try?

I didn't actually get into bed.

Well, sometimes that can help.

I'm just too worried
about Cindy.

You sure you're not just hungry?

Positive.

You know, I think I'll call her.

Mallory,
it's pretty late to call.

Actually, I'm pretty sure they're not getting
much sleep over at their house, either.

Why don't you go ahead, Mal?

Hello, Mrs. Sullivan?
Hi, this is Mallory.

Hey, I'm sorry
to call you so late,

but could I please
talk to Cindy?

What?

No, I don't.

Yes, of course I will.

Goodbye.

What's wrong?

Everything.

Cindy and her mom
got in a fight,

and she ran out of the house.

She's been gone for hours,

and her mom
doesn't know where she is.

- That's terrible.
- For Pete's sake.

Of course it's terrible,
and it's your fault.

- My fault?
- Wait a minute.

- Don't blame your mother.
- Why not?

She's the one that suggested
Cindy go talk to her mom.

We told you her mother
wouldn't understand.

And if you hadn't
butted in like that,

we might know
where Cindy is right now.

Look, I didn't butt in.
Cindy asked me to help.

And I only did
what I knew to be right.

Oh, you did, huh?

Did you listen when we said
she couldn't talk to her mother?

No.

Did you let her stay here? No.

Well, I'll tell you one thing...
When I grow up and have kids,

I'm not gonna act like a mother.

She's got blond hair.
She's about 5'3".

Yeah, that could be her.

No, no, I don't think she'd
be wearing a mask and flippers.

No, no, thanks anyway. Goodbye.

Well, she's not at the library.

Let's see, we've tried the YWCA.

We've tried the airport.

We've tried the bus depot.

I guess there's nothing left

but the old run-down bars
and nightclubs.

Well, that's where girls like
Cindy wind up, don't they?

Smiling their painted smiles,

swaying to the sound
of a honky-tonk piano

while some Joe
pours out his life story

over a cup of cheap whiskey.

That's it.
No more late movies for you.

Now, just a minute, Alex.

What do you mean,
"girls like Cindy"?

She happens to be
a very nice girl.

She comes over here
for a little advice and support,

and now she's missing,
through no fault of her own.

Look, Mallory,
I know you blame me for this,

but can't you see
that she had to tell her mother?

Well, fine. Couldn't she
have told her gradually?

Gradually?

Yeah, like started out
with something like,

"mom, I met a boy."

Daddy, can I go to the movies
with Chrissy?

They're showing an old movie
at the village.

I think it's called
"Bye Bye Birdie."

But you went to the movies
the other night.

Please, daddy,
I love little birdies.

I don't think you should go.

I just don't think that a girl

should try and hide
her pregnancy from her mother.

Wait. Wait a minute.

Can we not discuss this
in the kitchen?

I mean, sex is not something
you should talk about

in front of...
A wholesome breakfast.

Alex, I find your attitude
a little disturbing.

I mean, your father and I
don't want you or your sisters

to feel that
you can't talk honestly

and openly about sex with us.

Oh, boy.

So, Jennifer, you don't
want to miss that movie.

Uh, you need some popcorn money?

I'd rather stay here and talk
openly and honestly about sex.

Popcorn, bonbons,
chocolate bars?

Throw in the jujubes
and I'm out the door.

You got it.

I just don't know what you're
making such a big deal about.

Sex is a biological process
brought on by emotional urges.

Sex is nothing
to get excited about.

Uh, I mean,
sex is nothing special.

Yeah, Alex,
if it's nothing special,

why do you keep hiding Playboy

behind your copies
of Businessweek?

I don't... I don't hide them.

I keep them alphabetically,

and Businessweek
comes before Playboy.

I can't just sit around here
and worry about Cindy anymore.

Let's go look for her. You know,
maybe she's at the park.

Maybe she's at the playground.

Let's get our coats and go.

Alex, stay here
in case she calls.

You got it.

Hello, sergeant Samuels?

Yeah, this is Alex P. Keaton.

You probably remember me.
I was junior mayor for a week.

I don't know.

I thought meter maids
on horseback was a good idea.

Well, get taller meters.

Anyway, I'm looking
for a 15-year-old girl.

That's very funny.
She's pregnant.

Marry her?
I hardly even know her.

Never mind. I think
I know where to find her.

- Hi, Cindy.
- Hi.

Excuse me for a minute.

Hey, she's here!

So, uh... W-what's new?

Should I boil some water?

Cindy, are you okay?!

Yeah, I'm okay.

Still pregnant,
but other than that, I'm fine.

We have called all over town
looking for you.

Well, where have you been,
anyway?

I walked around the mall.

I sat through Annie
two and a half times.

Then I ended up
in the pinball arcade.

Your mother's very worried,
Cindy.

I think you should call her.

Why should I call her?
She'll just yell.

You don't know that.

Look, you can't blame her

for being angry and upset
when you told her,

but she's had time
to think about it.

Yeah, time to get even madder.

And time to calm down, too.

Look, I think the two of you
need another chance, don't you?

I'm not sure.

But I know
I can't face her alone.

Well, if it'll help, I mean,
if it'll make it any easier,

maybe you can ask her
to come over here.

Will you and Mallory
be here with me?

Sure.

Dad and I will be here, too.

Of course, we're flexible
on this point.

Cindy, does your mom
drink coffee?

Yeah, I guess.

Well, maybe that'll make her
too nervous.

Does she drink tea?

I think she likes herb tea.
Do you guys have any?

Are you kidding?
What's her favorite herb?

Better wait
and ask her when she gets here.

- Honey, just sit down and relax.
- I can't!

I just know the minute that she
walks in here, she's gonna go,

"Cindy, how could you
do this to me?"

Give her a chance, okay?

Don't answer that!

Okay, go ahead.

Hi. I'm Elyse Keaton.

Lynn Sullivan.

Please come in.

I'm sorry we couldn't meet
under better circumstances.

Hello, Mallory.

Cindy, I'm so glad
you're all right.

How could you do this to me?

Cindy, we're going home.

No, mom...
You said on the phone

that you were gonna come over
here and we were gonna talk.

All right.

We'll talk.

Please. Sit down, sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.

Um, so, Mrs. Sullivan,
what's your favorite herb?

Would you like some herbal tea?

No, thank you.
We won't be staying long.

I've already said all that
I have to say to my daughter.

She's already said
she was pregnant,

and now it's my problem, right?

Well, actually,
I think it's both of yours.

How long has she been going out
with this boy, anyway?

I-I don't know.

Mom, why don't you ask me

how long
I've been going out with him?

Apparently, one night too long.

Do you see what I mean,
Mrs. Keaton?

We're not getting anywhere here.
She's not listening to me.

Can you talk to your daughter?

Well, we try. We have
our occasional differences.

But we talk, you know.

We try to get things
out in the open.

Well, Cindy's problem
is out in the open,

that's for sure,
but that doesn't solve anything.

It doesn't change the fact
that she's pregnant,

that she's made a mess
out of her life.

Oh, thanks a lot, mom.

So, what you're saying is
because I've made this mistake,

I've ruined everything?

I have no hope, no future?
My life is over?

♪ gray skies
are gonna clear up ♪

♪ put on a happy face

is that the best
you guys can do?

Look, Jen, I don't think
this is the time for show tunes.

Let me go out on a limb.
You don't want me here, right?

Well...

Well, I'm going to my room.
I'll be down when I'm 18.

Okay. Let's go back.
Where were we?

Um, my mother just said I had
no future and my life was over.

Well, maybe we can go back

to before you were
yelling at each other.

We'd have to go back
to when I was in 3rd grade.

Oh, I wish we could. At least
then, things were under control.

I knew what you were doing,

where you were,
and who you were with.

Well, I'm not a little girl
anymore, mom.

I have to have my own life.

I can't deal with you hanging
over my shoulder every second,

trying to control
everything that I do.

Well, look what happens
when I don't.

Okay. Well,
maybe I made a mistake.

But maybe if you had
just a little more faith in me

and stopped treating me
like such a little girl,

I wouldn't have been
in such a big hurry to grow up.

Cindy, I...

I just wanted
to make things better for you.

What are you talking about, mom?

Well, when I was a kid,
I made all the wrong decisions.

Really?

Yeah, I don't think I spent

more than two nights
in a row at home.

I wouldn't talk to my parents.

I thought I knew everything.

I got into a lot of trouble.

My life was a mess.

That's what I was trying
to protect you from.

I just didn't want you

to go through
what I went through.

Well, I'm going
through it now, mom.

And I need you.

I need you to listen to me,
and I need you to help me.

I'll try. Oh.

Come on, Cindy. Let's go home.

We've got a lot of talking to do

and decisions to make.

Thank you for everything.

Bye, Cindy.

What do you think
Cindy's gonna do?

I don't know.

At least she won't be spending
any more nights playing pinball.

No.

Mom?

Yeah?

I'm really sorry about the way
I blew up at you last night.

That's okay. You were upset.

You had to let it out
at someone,

and I think I was just
in the direct line of fire.

That's what moms are for, right?

Only sometimes.

You know, this whole thing
with Cindy has been so...

So painful and difficult.

I so much don't want

what happened to Cindy
and her mother to happen to us.

So I want you to know
that you can always come to me

and that I'll try to be flexible

and understand
your point of view.

Can I have my own apartment?

Not on your life.

And then what happens?

Well, you get taller
and your hips get bigger,

and you suddenly become
much more interested in boys.

Anything else?

Well, you can wear a halter top
and have it mean something.

So, that's all there is
to puberty, huh?

Well, I condensed the chapter
a bit for you,

but that's basically
the way it goes.

Don't you two
have anything better to do

than read that stuff?

You know, Alex,

I think you could learn a lot
from this book.

Ha.

Mallory, could you show me
some of your halter tops?

I don't want to be caught
unprepared.

So, that's how that works.