Family Reunion (2019–…): Season 5, Episode 5 - Episode #5.5 - full transcript
[scatting]
♪ A Netflix series ♪
♪ I want y'all to
meet my family ♪
♪ They're coming down
south To stay with me ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ Singing loud and having fun ♪
♪ It's Family Reunion ♪
[laughing]
[upbeat music plays]
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
I've got to tell you,
this new workout I'm
doing is a miracle.
Now, I may have to get up at
5 a.m., but it's worth it.
[scoffs] 5 a.m.? Yeah, I don't
need a six-pack that bad.
Well, keep it up, Elvis.
Looking great, bro.
[grunts] Who's your new friend?
Good morning, my
little sunflower.
Ugh.
Fail.
God, you keep tricking me with
those new muscular shoulders.
And that, my friends, is
why you get up at 5 a.m.
[scoffs]
[sighs] Man, I can't believe M'Dear is
making us wash dishes before school.
They'll be just as
dirty when we get back.
Well, M'Dear doesn't like
dirty dishes laying around.
Well, why don't M'Dear
do them herself?
Why don't you go and ask her?
- Hmm. Hand me some soap.
- Exactly.
I wish they paid us by the dish.
At least then I'd have enough money
for the Hectic Grooves concert.
- Hey, that concert's going to be lit.
- Exactly.
Like my granddaddy's barn when the
horse knocked over the lantern.
I can't believe they're
coming to Columbus.
[sighs] I know.
I want to go too but them tickets is
50 bucks and I'm 60 dollars short.
That doesn't add up.
Yeah, I borrowed 10 dollars out
your wallet. I'll pay it back.
Let's talk about the
definition of borrow.
You know,
my friends at my old high school
used to make 200 bucks a night
throwing parties that they
charged people to go to.
Now, we can do the same thing.
All we need is a venue
and some refreshments.
Great. But we don't have
a venue or refreshments.
Actually, we've got
the perfect venue.
One without parents
or neighbors.
Man, I told you my
granddaddy's barn burned down.
No. I'm talking
about the church.
[gasps]
But M'Dear would kill us,
and not hypothetically.
I mean, she would
actually kill us.
We're doing the Lord's work,
bringing children to his house.
It's just innocent,
Christian fun.
Let's pray on it.
We're in.
What's up?
Oh!
Oh, the hairs on the back
of my neck just stood up.
Oh, you know what that means?
- Is something wrong with Grandpa?
- No, no, I just talked to Jeb.
This is something else.
Oh.
You think somebody around
the house is up to no good.
Mm-hmm.
M'Dear, it can't be the boys. I mean,
they're washing dishes like you told them.
Well, somebody is
up to something.
Maybe your neck senses
are wrong this time.
I suppose.
They say that as you
enter into your forties…
you know, some things
start to change.
Well, I wouldn't know.
[chuckles]
Cocoa, please.
[upbeat music plays]
♪ Hey ♪
Okay. I got your coffee
just how you like it, Dad.
Um, I mean, Mr. McKellan.
Thank you, Miss McKellen.
You're going to kill it.
[chuckles]
I can't believe I'm
working with my baby.
No. Here I am not your
baby, I am your employee.
I vowed to be professional.
Well, it was that vow
that made me hire you.
Plus, you get some
real-world experience
and someone else foots the bill.
All right. Well, I updated
your Google calendar.
Your team meeting is in 30 minutes, but
I will remind you five minutes before.
Awesome. And I need these things
to be done before I go on-air.
- Now, I know it's a lot…
- I finished most of these on the car ride.
My girl. Give me some.
Oh.
Dad, I think it's a little inappropriate
to high-five in the workplace.
But this is a sports show.
I could dump a cooler of Gatorade
on your head and it would fit in.
Oh my gosh, Jillian Edwards?
I'm sorry, but your shoe
collection is legendary.
Thank you.
Oh my gosh!
Are those the limited
edition Giuseppe Zanottis?
Yes, they are. And
you have a good eye.
Oh, well, fashion
is kind of my thing.
- I'm Jade McKellan. It's my first day.
- Oh, so you must be Moz's daughter.
Uh-huh. But here,
I am his assistant.
[phone rings]
- Excuse me.
- Mm-hmm.
This is my stylist.
Go ahead.
Hello?
Uh, what do you mean
you're in the hospital?
Can't they take your
appendix out next week?
Hello?
Um, hey, you know, I'm planning on
going to school for fashion design,
and maybe I could give you a
hand when I'm not helping my dad?
- Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
- Cool.
- She's so fly, right?
- Yeah, she is.
Oh, I'm Jade. [chuckles]
Oh, you're Moz
McKellan's daughter.
Yeah, but I want to be treated
like every other employee.
Did you have to submit a resume?
No.
- Did you have to get a background check?
- No.
Did you have to interview?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, me and my dad
talked about it over dinner.
Wow, you really are just
like the rest of us.
[chuckles]
[upbeat music plays]
♪ What's up? ♪
♪ What? What's up? ♪
Woo! Ah!
M'Dear, I am so glad
we decided to do this.
- You know, we deserve to...
- Ooh!
- I got that feeling again.
- What...
What's wrong? Is the
mask irritating you?
The back of my neck is tingling.
Wh...
Maybe it's the sparkling
cider hitting you.
I can feel the bubbles in
the back of my throat too.
- Just sit back and relax.
- [grunts]
[grunts]
[Cocoa] Woo.
Mm.
Boys!
What y'all doing?
- How did you know it was us?
- I can smell ya.
- Well, we're just going to Elvis's house.
- Uh, yeah, our sow just had a litter.
I'm going to name the
prettiest piglet Jade.
Well, I'm sure Jade will
be flattered. Have fun.
You know, maybe it's not the
boys, but something is not right.
What's not right is
naming a piglet Jade.
[laughs]
[upbeat music plays]
And after you warm
up my sandwich,
pick up my pants
from the cleaners.
- I need them for tonight's show.
- Got it.
All right, my trainer kicked my butt
today, so I'm going to get in a nap.
Make sure no one knocks on
my dressing room door. Okay?
[man] Hey, Jade.
The assistants take turns running the
teleprompter. Could you do it today?
You just watch one training
video. It's super easy.
Oh, okay, sure. Whatever
the team needs, right?
Go team! Ooh.
Sorry, summer camp flashbacks.
I look ridiculous!
What am I going to do?
Uh, hey, Jillian.
Is everything okay?
No, I'm going to a Trae Young event
when we wrap and I have no stylist.
I can't walk the red carpet like
this. This looks like a prom dress.
Oh.
- Wait, Trae Young, like from the Hawks?
- Yeah.
Okay. Okay, well, look.
Um, I mean, all it really needs is a
hem and we can make this strapless,
and then you can just rock
it with those Giuseppes.
Look, I know you must be busy.
Are you sure you have time?
Oh, no, no, no. I can totally handle
this. It'll only take a few minutes.
[upbeat music plays]
- [rap music playing]
- ♪ Frame in ♪
♪ Run it back, y'all ♪
♪ Run it up ♪
♪ Run it back, right… ♪
That'll be ten dollars.
♪ Run it up… ♪
Ten dollars, please.
Dang it, Darrell, ain't nobody
want your tooth fairy money.
Yo, Tyson.
I really didn't think this would
work, but we've outdone ourselves.
Woo-hoo! I feel like a
young P. Diddy. [chuckles]
Hey, you think we should
start a clothing line?
We have enough money to go
to the Hectic Grooves concert
and bring dates.
- Mm-hmm.
- Too bad Lilly broke up with me.
Hey, hey, hey. Don't
worry about her.
There's plenty of
fish in the sea,
and with all this cash, we're
going to do plenty of fishing.
[laughing]
Oh, snap.
Scott Hartle and some other
upperclassmen just came through.
This party went
from okay to hey.
[crowd] Hey!
Oh my gosh, we are going to be
legends. Everything's going to be so
beautiful.
What?
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm party. This is my Mazzi.
I think you meant to say that
you're Mazzi and this is your party.
Oh, wow. You took the
words out of my mouth.
I'm Aaliyah.
I haven't seen you before. Do
you go to Maya Angelou Academy?
I start on Monday. I just
transferred here from Jackson.
I saw your party invite on IG.
I'm glad you came.
Sorry, my hands are so sweaty.
Ah, it's okay. I forgot
to put on lotion today.
I appreciate the extra moisture.
Man, this party is trash. We
need to get this thing popping.
[upbeat music plays]
[man] Teleprompter training video.
Remember these important elements:
font size, speed, and matching
the rhythm of the reader.
You haven't finished
the training yet?
Oh, I just started. I was busy.
But I have plenty of time.
Oh, hi, Dad. How's it going?
How do you think?
Did you get my text? I go on
air any second. Pants, please.
Oh my God, I am so sorry.
I completely forgot.
What? How could you forget that? It's
the most important thing on the list.
Well, look, Jillian
needed my help, and so...
Jillian?
You work for me,
and I'm pants-less.
You know what? I'll
pick up your pants now.
Pick them up? Jade, the dry
cleaners closed 30 minutes ago.
We need you on teleprompter.
You watched the video, right?
- Uh, sure.
- Okay, great.
Moz, we need you on camera.
I love the shorts,
but they don't go.
Put on some pants, please.
Thanks to my assistant,
these shorts are all I have.
You're going live in 30
seconds. Sit behind the desk.
Tiana, pull something
from wardrobe.
We'll take care of it
when we go to commercial.
We'll talk about this later.
Uh, you want a biscuit
with those legs and thighs?
Don't quit your day job.
Okay.
Welcome to "What's Up Football".
Today, we're talking
about core team issues.
We're taking a look at the fated
franchise from Jacksonville.
The coaches must create a system for
players to execute all three phases…
special teams.
Jade, slow down.
I agree.
And it's not
just about X's
and O's.
Let's talk about
cronyism and the
team owners not
hiring the most
qualified coaches in
the first place.
Jade, speed up.
Later, I'll be speaking to…
legendar…
We've got lots more show coming for
you after this commercial break.
No, no, no, no.
Finally, some pants.
What are you doing?
We're still on the air.
[upbeat music plays]
Get out of here. I play three
different instruments too.
The flute, clarinet, and one
other woodwind. Guess which one.
Mazzi?
Huh? Oh, I'm sorry.
I stopped listening after, "I
play three different instruments."
We have so much in common.
I'm glad you came to my party.
Me too.
- I love you guys.
- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Uh…
And I don't even know you.
Get it, Zazzi? I mean, Sazzi.
- Dang it. Man, you know your name.
- [Mazzi] What?
Hey, Elvis, are you okay?
[sighs] Something's wrong with
the room. It keeps spinning.
[sniffs] Mm…
He smells like my Uncle
Johnny when the Cowboys lose.
[dance music plays]
Oh, that's my song!
What? What?
What?
Oh.
Excuse me.
Tyson, we have a problem.
I know. Dancing with three
girls is harder than I thought.
What? No, look around.
People are drunk.
Oh, snap.
Ooh.
You could start a
fire with this stuff.
This is all bad. What do we do?
I think you should
call your mom.
[laughs]
You want him to
snitch on himself?
How much of that
punch have you had?
Tyson's right. We didn't get
permission to throw this party.
Can you imagine how
much trouble we'd be in?
Mazzi, you're gonna get in even worse
trouble if more people get drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, look.
Everything is under control.
Stop tripping. We got this.
Oh! Wee!
[groans]
Maybe we don't got this. I'm
going to take this punch out.
- [upbeat music plays]
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
Ooh, yes. It's been a great day.
There's nothing like a stranger
rubbing on your bunions.
So, are you ready to admit
that maybe your suspicions
- were a little overblown?
- [M'Dear groans]
Well, maybe you're right.
But my senses, they have
never failed me before.
You think I'm getting
old, don't you?
You're right. It's crazy talk.
Maybe my tingling is because
I've been standing too close
to the microwave or something.
[phone ringing]
Oh, it's Mazzi.
Hey, baby.
Wait. Wait, what?
No, no, no, what do you mean?
Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm glad you're
there because when I am done,
you're going to need
your last rites.
- [scoffs]
- What's going on?
Mazzi and Tyson threw a
secret party at the church
and, evidently, it's
gotten way out of hand.
Yes! [laughs]
Oh, I haven't lost it!
How dare you doubt me?
See, you're just jealous
'cause your neck, it
don't tell you nothing.
[upbeat music plays]
Hey, Dad.
You really didn't mean
to fire me on-air, right?
Mm, I meant it.
What?
Okay, well, look,
just let me explain.
I didn't manage my time well, and I
had an opportunity to help Jillian,
and I thought that I could help
her and also do my job for you.
Did Jillian hire you?
I was supposed to
be your priority.
You let me down.
I know, I'm sorry.
I promise I won't ever do it
again. I've learned my lesson.
- I'm happy to hear that, baby.
- [sighs]
[sighs]
But you're still fired.
What?
What? No, you…
You can't do that.
I mean, I'm your
daughter. Hello? Nepotism!
Jade, you're not ready for this.
I passed on someone more
qualified to give you a chance.
And you had me looking
like a fool on TV.
That stuff doesn't go away.
[sighs]
Jade, this outfit
is hot. Great job.
I'm about to slay
that red carpet.
- Thank you, you look great, girl.
- Thank you.
And, uh, by the way, if you
ever have any styling needs…
Oh, honey, no.
You just got fired
on live television.
But call me in two years
when the stink is off of you.
[upbeat music plays]
How dare you take a sacred place
and run a speakeasy out of it?
All of you should be
ashamed of yourselves.
[screams]
You… You… You broke Jesus?
You broke Jesus?
[screaming]
They broke the baby!
They broke baby Jesus!
- M'Dear.
- Look at what you've done! Who did this?
Who did it? Who broke Jesus?
[cries]
- Calm down.
- Oh, they broke him.
- Oh, Cocoa, they broke him.
- Now, whose dumb idea was this?
Good. Because both
of you are grounded.
I cannot believe you threw
a party with alcohol.
Okay, well, we threw the party,
but we didn't bring the alcohol.
- [Tyson] It's not our fault.
- [Cocoa] No, it is your fault.
If you all hadn't
lied and snuck around,
nobody would have the
opportunity to spike the punch.
Ah, you, stop it right
there. Stop it right there.
Nobody is going anywhere until
your parents come to get you.
[all groan]
Oh, you can grumble
all you want,
but there will be no one drinking
and driving from my church.
Oh.
Baby breakers.
You get on your little iPhones,
or whatever you talk on, and
call your mamas and your daddies.
[Cocoa] Come here.
Now, as disappointed as I am,
I am glad you called me,
because things could have gotten
way worse without adult supervision.
No matter how foolish
the situation,
you can always call me.
But make no mistake, you
two are in big trouble.
So, can I get a time frame
for how long I'm in trouble?
I met a girl.
Boy, read the room.
Does it look like I
care about some girl?
When I am done with you,
you're going to wish all
I did was ground you.
Now, point this girl out, so
I can see who likes my baby.
[upbeat music plays]
Now that I've
solved the mystery,
I can finally relax.
I'm glad.
Are you enjoying
your cucumber water?
Oh, yes, but it's
time for a refill.
Mazzi!
Ooh.
Waiting on us hand and foot will be
a good start for your punishment.
I'm glad you boys made so much
money from your little speakeasy.
We will use that to pay for
the broken nativity scene.
Do you know how hard it was
to find a Brown baby Jesus?
It's a good thing God forgives,
because it's going to take me a while.
Ooh.
It is hot in here. Tyson!
Put some muscle into it.
- Oh, no. Is this what I think it is?
- Those are the grapes you asked for.
Oh, they may be the grapes I asked
for, but they still have skin.
Now, before you start peeling them, check
on Skye. He's starting to get fussy.
He's chilling in
the Pack and Play.
[baby squealing]
I knew it. My baby
toe is vibrating.
[phone ringing]
Oh. Mazzi's getting
a phone call.
Ah, it's Aaliyah.
Can I talk to her?
Oh, silly boy.
I am so glad you still
have a sense of humor.
Cocoa, give me that phone.
Please don't.
Shh! Can't you see
I'm on the phone?
Hello? Aaliyah, hi.
I'm surprised your parents
are letting you use the phone.
Uh-huh.
Didn't your big sister tell them
that you were at a secret party
where they had
alcohol and liquor?
She didn't.
Girl, put your
mama on the phone.
Dang, Skye, you'll probably
have a girlfriend before I do.
[upbeat music playing]
Diva out.
♪ A Netflix series ♪
♪ I want y'all to
meet my family ♪
♪ They're coming down
south To stay with me ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ Singing loud and having fun ♪
♪ It's Family Reunion ♪
[laughing]
[upbeat music plays]
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
I've got to tell you,
this new workout I'm
doing is a miracle.
Now, I may have to get up at
5 a.m., but it's worth it.
[scoffs] 5 a.m.? Yeah, I don't
need a six-pack that bad.
Well, keep it up, Elvis.
Looking great, bro.
[grunts] Who's your new friend?
Good morning, my
little sunflower.
Ugh.
Fail.
God, you keep tricking me with
those new muscular shoulders.
And that, my friends, is
why you get up at 5 a.m.
[scoffs]
[sighs] Man, I can't believe M'Dear is
making us wash dishes before school.
They'll be just as
dirty when we get back.
Well, M'Dear doesn't like
dirty dishes laying around.
Well, why don't M'Dear
do them herself?
Why don't you go and ask her?
- Hmm. Hand me some soap.
- Exactly.
I wish they paid us by the dish.
At least then I'd have enough money
for the Hectic Grooves concert.
- Hey, that concert's going to be lit.
- Exactly.
Like my granddaddy's barn when the
horse knocked over the lantern.
I can't believe they're
coming to Columbus.
[sighs] I know.
I want to go too but them tickets is
50 bucks and I'm 60 dollars short.
That doesn't add up.
Yeah, I borrowed 10 dollars out
your wallet. I'll pay it back.
Let's talk about the
definition of borrow.
You know,
my friends at my old high school
used to make 200 bucks a night
throwing parties that they
charged people to go to.
Now, we can do the same thing.
All we need is a venue
and some refreshments.
Great. But we don't have
a venue or refreshments.
Actually, we've got
the perfect venue.
One without parents
or neighbors.
Man, I told you my
granddaddy's barn burned down.
No. I'm talking
about the church.
[gasps]
But M'Dear would kill us,
and not hypothetically.
I mean, she would
actually kill us.
We're doing the Lord's work,
bringing children to his house.
It's just innocent,
Christian fun.
Let's pray on it.
We're in.
What's up?
Oh!
Oh, the hairs on the back
of my neck just stood up.
Oh, you know what that means?
- Is something wrong with Grandpa?
- No, no, I just talked to Jeb.
This is something else.
Oh.
You think somebody around
the house is up to no good.
Mm-hmm.
M'Dear, it can't be the boys. I mean,
they're washing dishes like you told them.
Well, somebody is
up to something.
Maybe your neck senses
are wrong this time.
I suppose.
They say that as you
enter into your forties…
you know, some things
start to change.
Well, I wouldn't know.
[chuckles]
Cocoa, please.
[upbeat music plays]
♪ Hey ♪
Okay. I got your coffee
just how you like it, Dad.
Um, I mean, Mr. McKellan.
Thank you, Miss McKellen.
You're going to kill it.
[chuckles]
I can't believe I'm
working with my baby.
No. Here I am not your
baby, I am your employee.
I vowed to be professional.
Well, it was that vow
that made me hire you.
Plus, you get some
real-world experience
and someone else foots the bill.
All right. Well, I updated
your Google calendar.
Your team meeting is in 30 minutes, but
I will remind you five minutes before.
Awesome. And I need these things
to be done before I go on-air.
- Now, I know it's a lot…
- I finished most of these on the car ride.
My girl. Give me some.
Oh.
Dad, I think it's a little inappropriate
to high-five in the workplace.
But this is a sports show.
I could dump a cooler of Gatorade
on your head and it would fit in.
Oh my gosh, Jillian Edwards?
I'm sorry, but your shoe
collection is legendary.
Thank you.
Oh my gosh!
Are those the limited
edition Giuseppe Zanottis?
Yes, they are. And
you have a good eye.
Oh, well, fashion
is kind of my thing.
- I'm Jade McKellan. It's my first day.
- Oh, so you must be Moz's daughter.
Uh-huh. But here,
I am his assistant.
[phone rings]
- Excuse me.
- Mm-hmm.
This is my stylist.
Go ahead.
Hello?
Uh, what do you mean
you're in the hospital?
Can't they take your
appendix out next week?
Hello?
Um, hey, you know, I'm planning on
going to school for fashion design,
and maybe I could give you a
hand when I'm not helping my dad?
- Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
- Cool.
- She's so fly, right?
- Yeah, she is.
Oh, I'm Jade. [chuckles]
Oh, you're Moz
McKellan's daughter.
Yeah, but I want to be treated
like every other employee.
Did you have to submit a resume?
No.
- Did you have to get a background check?
- No.
Did you have to interview?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, me and my dad
talked about it over dinner.
Wow, you really are just
like the rest of us.
[chuckles]
[upbeat music plays]
♪ What's up? ♪
♪ What? What's up? ♪
Woo! Ah!
M'Dear, I am so glad
we decided to do this.
- You know, we deserve to...
- Ooh!
- I got that feeling again.
- What...
What's wrong? Is the
mask irritating you?
The back of my neck is tingling.
Wh...
Maybe it's the sparkling
cider hitting you.
I can feel the bubbles in
the back of my throat too.
- Just sit back and relax.
- [grunts]
[grunts]
[Cocoa] Woo.
Mm.
Boys!
What y'all doing?
- How did you know it was us?
- I can smell ya.
- Well, we're just going to Elvis's house.
- Uh, yeah, our sow just had a litter.
I'm going to name the
prettiest piglet Jade.
Well, I'm sure Jade will
be flattered. Have fun.
You know, maybe it's not the
boys, but something is not right.
What's not right is
naming a piglet Jade.
[laughs]
[upbeat music plays]
And after you warm
up my sandwich,
pick up my pants
from the cleaners.
- I need them for tonight's show.
- Got it.
All right, my trainer kicked my butt
today, so I'm going to get in a nap.
Make sure no one knocks on
my dressing room door. Okay?
[man] Hey, Jade.
The assistants take turns running the
teleprompter. Could you do it today?
You just watch one training
video. It's super easy.
Oh, okay, sure. Whatever
the team needs, right?
Go team! Ooh.
Sorry, summer camp flashbacks.
I look ridiculous!
What am I going to do?
Uh, hey, Jillian.
Is everything okay?
No, I'm going to a Trae Young event
when we wrap and I have no stylist.
I can't walk the red carpet like
this. This looks like a prom dress.
Oh.
- Wait, Trae Young, like from the Hawks?
- Yeah.
Okay. Okay, well, look.
Um, I mean, all it really needs is a
hem and we can make this strapless,
and then you can just rock
it with those Giuseppes.
Look, I know you must be busy.
Are you sure you have time?
Oh, no, no, no. I can totally handle
this. It'll only take a few minutes.
[upbeat music plays]
- [rap music playing]
- ♪ Frame in ♪
♪ Run it back, y'all ♪
♪ Run it up ♪
♪ Run it back, right… ♪
That'll be ten dollars.
♪ Run it up… ♪
Ten dollars, please.
Dang it, Darrell, ain't nobody
want your tooth fairy money.
Yo, Tyson.
I really didn't think this would
work, but we've outdone ourselves.
Woo-hoo! I feel like a
young P. Diddy. [chuckles]
Hey, you think we should
start a clothing line?
We have enough money to go
to the Hectic Grooves concert
and bring dates.
- Mm-hmm.
- Too bad Lilly broke up with me.
Hey, hey, hey. Don't
worry about her.
There's plenty of
fish in the sea,
and with all this cash, we're
going to do plenty of fishing.
[laughing]
Oh, snap.
Scott Hartle and some other
upperclassmen just came through.
This party went
from okay to hey.
[crowd] Hey!
Oh my gosh, we are going to be
legends. Everything's going to be so
beautiful.
What?
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm party. This is my Mazzi.
I think you meant to say that
you're Mazzi and this is your party.
Oh, wow. You took the
words out of my mouth.
I'm Aaliyah.
I haven't seen you before. Do
you go to Maya Angelou Academy?
I start on Monday. I just
transferred here from Jackson.
I saw your party invite on IG.
I'm glad you came.
Sorry, my hands are so sweaty.
Ah, it's okay. I forgot
to put on lotion today.
I appreciate the extra moisture.
Man, this party is trash. We
need to get this thing popping.
[upbeat music plays]
[man] Teleprompter training video.
Remember these important elements:
font size, speed, and matching
the rhythm of the reader.
You haven't finished
the training yet?
Oh, I just started. I was busy.
But I have plenty of time.
Oh, hi, Dad. How's it going?
How do you think?
Did you get my text? I go on
air any second. Pants, please.
Oh my God, I am so sorry.
I completely forgot.
What? How could you forget that? It's
the most important thing on the list.
Well, look, Jillian
needed my help, and so...
Jillian?
You work for me,
and I'm pants-less.
You know what? I'll
pick up your pants now.
Pick them up? Jade, the dry
cleaners closed 30 minutes ago.
We need you on teleprompter.
You watched the video, right?
- Uh, sure.
- Okay, great.
Moz, we need you on camera.
I love the shorts,
but they don't go.
Put on some pants, please.
Thanks to my assistant,
these shorts are all I have.
You're going live in 30
seconds. Sit behind the desk.
Tiana, pull something
from wardrobe.
We'll take care of it
when we go to commercial.
We'll talk about this later.
Uh, you want a biscuit
with those legs and thighs?
Don't quit your day job.
Okay.
Welcome to "What's Up Football".
Today, we're talking
about core team issues.
We're taking a look at the fated
franchise from Jacksonville.
The coaches must create a system for
players to execute all three phases…
special teams.
Jade, slow down.
I agree.
And it's not
just about X's
and O's.
Let's talk about
cronyism and the
team owners not
hiring the most
qualified coaches in
the first place.
Jade, speed up.
Later, I'll be speaking to…
legendar…
We've got lots more show coming for
you after this commercial break.
No, no, no, no.
Finally, some pants.
What are you doing?
We're still on the air.
[upbeat music plays]
Get out of here. I play three
different instruments too.
The flute, clarinet, and one
other woodwind. Guess which one.
Mazzi?
Huh? Oh, I'm sorry.
I stopped listening after, "I
play three different instruments."
We have so much in common.
I'm glad you came to my party.
Me too.
- I love you guys.
- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Uh…
And I don't even know you.
Get it, Zazzi? I mean, Sazzi.
- Dang it. Man, you know your name.
- [Mazzi] What?
Hey, Elvis, are you okay?
[sighs] Something's wrong with
the room. It keeps spinning.
[sniffs] Mm…
He smells like my Uncle
Johnny when the Cowboys lose.
[dance music plays]
Oh, that's my song!
What? What?
What?
Oh.
Excuse me.
Tyson, we have a problem.
I know. Dancing with three
girls is harder than I thought.
What? No, look around.
People are drunk.
Oh, snap.
Ooh.
You could start a
fire with this stuff.
This is all bad. What do we do?
I think you should
call your mom.
[laughs]
You want him to
snitch on himself?
How much of that
punch have you had?
Tyson's right. We didn't get
permission to throw this party.
Can you imagine how
much trouble we'd be in?
Mazzi, you're gonna get in even worse
trouble if more people get drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, look.
Everything is under control.
Stop tripping. We got this.
Oh! Wee!
[groans]
Maybe we don't got this. I'm
going to take this punch out.
- [upbeat music plays]
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
Ooh, yes. It's been a great day.
There's nothing like a stranger
rubbing on your bunions.
So, are you ready to admit
that maybe your suspicions
- were a little overblown?
- [M'Dear groans]
Well, maybe you're right.
But my senses, they have
never failed me before.
You think I'm getting
old, don't you?
You're right. It's crazy talk.
Maybe my tingling is because
I've been standing too close
to the microwave or something.
[phone ringing]
Oh, it's Mazzi.
Hey, baby.
Wait. Wait, what?
No, no, no, what do you mean?
Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm glad you're
there because when I am done,
you're going to need
your last rites.
- [scoffs]
- What's going on?
Mazzi and Tyson threw a
secret party at the church
and, evidently, it's
gotten way out of hand.
Yes! [laughs]
Oh, I haven't lost it!
How dare you doubt me?
See, you're just jealous
'cause your neck, it
don't tell you nothing.
[upbeat music plays]
Hey, Dad.
You really didn't mean
to fire me on-air, right?
Mm, I meant it.
What?
Okay, well, look,
just let me explain.
I didn't manage my time well, and I
had an opportunity to help Jillian,
and I thought that I could help
her and also do my job for you.
Did Jillian hire you?
I was supposed to
be your priority.
You let me down.
I know, I'm sorry.
I promise I won't ever do it
again. I've learned my lesson.
- I'm happy to hear that, baby.
- [sighs]
[sighs]
But you're still fired.
What?
What? No, you…
You can't do that.
I mean, I'm your
daughter. Hello? Nepotism!
Jade, you're not ready for this.
I passed on someone more
qualified to give you a chance.
And you had me looking
like a fool on TV.
That stuff doesn't go away.
[sighs]
Jade, this outfit
is hot. Great job.
I'm about to slay
that red carpet.
- Thank you, you look great, girl.
- Thank you.
And, uh, by the way, if you
ever have any styling needs…
Oh, honey, no.
You just got fired
on live television.
But call me in two years
when the stink is off of you.
[upbeat music plays]
How dare you take a sacred place
and run a speakeasy out of it?
All of you should be
ashamed of yourselves.
[screams]
You… You… You broke Jesus?
You broke Jesus?
[screaming]
They broke the baby!
They broke baby Jesus!
- M'Dear.
- Look at what you've done! Who did this?
Who did it? Who broke Jesus?
[cries]
- Calm down.
- Oh, they broke him.
- Oh, Cocoa, they broke him.
- Now, whose dumb idea was this?
Good. Because both
of you are grounded.
I cannot believe you threw
a party with alcohol.
Okay, well, we threw the party,
but we didn't bring the alcohol.
- [Tyson] It's not our fault.
- [Cocoa] No, it is your fault.
If you all hadn't
lied and snuck around,
nobody would have the
opportunity to spike the punch.
Ah, you, stop it right
there. Stop it right there.
Nobody is going anywhere until
your parents come to get you.
[all groan]
Oh, you can grumble
all you want,
but there will be no one drinking
and driving from my church.
Oh.
Baby breakers.
You get on your little iPhones,
or whatever you talk on, and
call your mamas and your daddies.
[Cocoa] Come here.
Now, as disappointed as I am,
I am glad you called me,
because things could have gotten
way worse without adult supervision.
No matter how foolish
the situation,
you can always call me.
But make no mistake, you
two are in big trouble.
So, can I get a time frame
for how long I'm in trouble?
I met a girl.
Boy, read the room.
Does it look like I
care about some girl?
When I am done with you,
you're going to wish all
I did was ground you.
Now, point this girl out, so
I can see who likes my baby.
[upbeat music plays]
Now that I've
solved the mystery,
I can finally relax.
I'm glad.
Are you enjoying
your cucumber water?
Oh, yes, but it's
time for a refill.
Mazzi!
Ooh.
Waiting on us hand and foot will be
a good start for your punishment.
I'm glad you boys made so much
money from your little speakeasy.
We will use that to pay for
the broken nativity scene.
Do you know how hard it was
to find a Brown baby Jesus?
It's a good thing God forgives,
because it's going to take me a while.
Ooh.
It is hot in here. Tyson!
Put some muscle into it.
- Oh, no. Is this what I think it is?
- Those are the grapes you asked for.
Oh, they may be the grapes I asked
for, but they still have skin.
Now, before you start peeling them, check
on Skye. He's starting to get fussy.
He's chilling in
the Pack and Play.
[baby squealing]
I knew it. My baby
toe is vibrating.
[phone ringing]
Oh. Mazzi's getting
a phone call.
Ah, it's Aaliyah.
Can I talk to her?
Oh, silly boy.
I am so glad you still
have a sense of humor.
Cocoa, give me that phone.
Please don't.
Shh! Can't you see
I'm on the phone?
Hello? Aaliyah, hi.
I'm surprised your parents
are letting you use the phone.
Uh-huh.
Didn't your big sister tell them
that you were at a secret party
where they had
alcohol and liquor?
She didn't.
Girl, put your
mama on the phone.
Dang, Skye, you'll probably
have a girlfriend before I do.
[upbeat music playing]
Diva out.