Family Matters (1989–1998): Season 4, Episode 23 - Stormy Weather - full transcript
Laura's Junior Prom date, Jimmy is a complete, possessive jerk who thinks Steve Urkel is his competition for her love. She tells him that he already has a date and that they're friends. Jimmy has demanded her to stop talking to Jerkel. At the prom, Steve shocks and impresses his fellow classmates by bringing his beautiful girlfriend, Myra, as his date. Waldo and Maxine also are enjoying their time together and bonds with them. He gets over being protective of his sister, Quesidilla and lets her enjoy her date with Weasel. However, Laura is having a terrible time at the dance with Jimmy. She immediately tells him that she's better off with Steve as a friend over a possessive jerk like him. She leaves him out on the dance floor with him begging her to come back. Carl and Harriette, who both got early leave from their jobs, went to the Junior Prom and dance the night away.
Laura?
Yeah?
This is gonna be the
best junior prom ever.
Why, because of
the romantic theme?
No, because I'm going with you.
Oh, Jimmy.
Hey, Laura. How come there's
no Leaning Tower Of Pizza?
That's Pisa, Waldo.
And it's in Italy.
Yeah, and our theme
is "Paris in Springtime."
So change the theme.
Make it "Paris in Italy."
Work with me, people!
Hi-de-ho, promsters!
Hey, look who's
here. Steve Jerkel.
Oh, that's clever.
Steve, what the
heck is this thing?
This is the Steven Q.
Urkel turbo confetti cannon.
Patent pending.
Now, picture this.
The lights dim...
as the band begins to
play a slow, romantic song.
And, yes, it's the last dance.
Now, do we break this magic
moment to grab a wad of confetti?
No, sir.
Why, we merely flip this switch
for a gentle poof of confetti.
Did I do that?
Okay. Laura and I were
shopping all afternoon.
We hit every store in the mall.
I think we finally found
the perfect prom dress.
May I present Miss
Laura Winslow.
- Wow.
- Oh, look at my beautiful granddaughter.
You really like it?
Oh, sweetheart, I love it.
You look like a million bucks.
Actually, you're close.
What?
What did she mean
by that, Harriette?
Well, Carl, this is a quality dress.
You can't put a price on quality.
Well, the store did.
And they wouldn't let you out the
front door unless you paid that price.
Now, how much
quality, Harriette?
- Three hundred eighty-seven dollars.
- Oh!
Okay, Laura, go upstairs
and put on the other dress.
Okay, Mom.
There's another dress?
- Mama, there's another dress.
- I heard, Carl.
How much is the
other dress, Harriette?
A hundred and fifty dollars.
Oh, 150. That's a nice number.
Nice round number.
Don't be such a cheapskate.
I just don't believe
in wasting money.
Oh, they couldn't pry your
wallet open with the Jaws of Life.
What do you think, Daddy?
Now, that's a prom dress.
- You don't think it's too revealing?
- No.
Harriette, this is what the
kids are wearing these days.
Get with it. Loosen up.
I don't know, Carl,
$150 is a lot of money.
Well, it's a lot less than $387.
And besides, there's nothing
too good for my baby girl.
Thanks, Dad.
Love you.
- Yes! Mom, your plan worked!
- Yep.
Now, take that other dress back
and put it in your Aunt Rachel's closet.
Hey, Eddie. Who you
taking to the prom?
Gloria Hylton.
- Whoa. She's fly.
- Uh-huh.
Are you taking
Maxine to the prom?
Hey, is the bear Catholic?
How are things with Maxine?
Not so good. Her
dog's got worms.
No, I meant how are things
going between you two?
Fine. I mean, I'm not gonna stop
petting him just because he got worms.
Man, my head hurts.
Look, let's get
back to the prom.
- Does Weasel have a date yet?
- Yep.
I set him up with
my sister, Quesadilla.
You know, Waldo, I've been
meaning to ask you this for a long time.
How did your sister get
a name like Quesadilla?
She was born in Taco Bell.
It was either Quesadilla
or Burrito Grande.
Well, look.
You're making a mistake by
setting your sister up with Weasel.
- How come?
- Well, you know how Weasel is.
Yo, baby.
You looking fine, sweet thing.
I can make you real happy.
You think Weasel would
try something with my sister?
Well, in the famous words
of Ray Charles: Uh-huh.
Well, what should I do?
I'd keep a close eye
on Weasel at the prom.
Right. I'm gonna be on him
like ketchup on spaghetti.
My mom's a lousy cook.
Hello, my bodacious bookworm.
- Steve, I already have a date to the prom.
- Okay.
You're not gonna whine and
complain that I should go with you?
Been there, done that, moved on.
Oh.
Laura, I need your advice
on a very delicate situation.
Steve, if this involves your
colon again, just see a doctor.
No.
It concerns Myra.
Oh, how are you two
lovebirds getting along?
Well, very well.
In fact, too well.
She's been dropping subtle hints that
she'd like for me to take her to the prom.
Steve, Myra's a
beautiful, intelligent girl.
And not only that, and this is the
part that proves there's a God...
she actually likes you.
Go ahead and
take her to the prom.
Well, I can't.
Myra goes to a
different school...
and the lovely lass has no
idea that I have a reputation as...
a nerd.
Why, she thinks I'm
A-number-1, peachy keen.
She calls me her little
Adonis in suspenders.
That's cute.
Frightening, but cute.
Look, Steve, don't worry.
When you walk into that prom with
a pretty girl like Myra on your arm...
those kids are gonna
see you in a different light.
Hmm. I hadn't thought of that.
Well, think about it.
Laura, you're terrific.
You turned this little
sad sack into a glad bag.
Anytime, Steve.
Thanks, Laura. I'll invite
the little vixen forthwith.
- Steve?
- Yes, my pet?
This may sound
a little strange...
but in some kind of warped way,
I actually miss you asking me out.
And you know, in some bizarre way,
I actually miss hearing you say no.
Laura...
- will you go to the prom with me?
- No.
Ahh.
Hi.
Jerkel? What are you doing here?
I'll ask the questions, noodle-noggin.
What are you doing here?
I came to see Laura.
Well, there she is. You've
seen her. Now, beat it.
No. You beat it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Lucky for you I'm leaving.
Man, he gets under my skin.
Oh, come on. He's harmless.
But he's always hanging
around you, and I don't like that.
Relax, Jimmy. It's no big deal.
Now, you came to
study, let's just study.
Forget it. I can't concentrate.
I really like you, Laura.
But when you hang out with
him, it makes me look bad.
So if you want me, you
have to dump the nerd.
So don't just walk up phony
There's a time and there's a place
Where we can talk about it
'Cause I don't want to be disgraced
With all your
screams and shouting
Here we go Here we go again
Going through the same thing
Here we go Don't wanna
play the same game
Here we go again Here
we go Come on, y'all.
Going through the
same thing Here we go
Don't wanna play the same game
Not again I don't
wanna go through it
- Hey, Waldo.
- What's up?
I don't believe this. Portrait
is playing at our junior prom!
- Yep.
- How did we ever get them?
Simple. One of
them is my cousin.
Really? Which one?
I can't tell you.
The deal is, he'll do
anything I want, as
long as I promise not
to reveal we're related.
Yo, yo, yo! The
Weasel's on the loose!
Now the party is a "par-tay,"
know what I'm saying?
What's up, player?
A word with you, Weasel.
Excuse me, Quesadilla.
Don't be long, baby. I
wanna shake my booty.
I wanna shake it too.
Look, man. I love my sister.
If you do anything to
besmirch her reputation,
I'll be forced to
defend her honor.
Oh, yeah? How you gonna do that?
I'll get back to you.
Hey, listen, everybody!
Steve Urkel's coming.
He's got a date!
Huh?
Steve?
We seem to be the
center of attention.
Oh, really?
I hadn't noticed.
Steven, everyone
is staring at me.
Why, of course. They've never
seen such stunning beauty.
Oh, Steven, you're so sweet.
Yeah, yeah, baby Oh, no
Help me out Girl, I'm
coming back for love
As I look in the mirror
I see the pain inside
It's so funny how eyes never lie
The memories Yoo-hoo! Laura!
Oh, my God.
What are you guys doing here?
- Hi, honey.
- Ha-ha-ha.
Well, I missed my prom...
so I decided to bring
your mom to this one.
Just kidding. We
both had to work late...
and we realized we didn't get a photo of
our beautiful daughter in her prom dress.
- Honey, too much blush.
- Ma! Ma.
Hey, a little space, Ace.
Waldo, why are you bugging us?
Because you're my sister, and the way
I figure it, that makes me your brother.
And I don't want him to
take advantage of you.
Hey, I'm a big girl. I
can take care of myself.
Besides, Weasel's a gentleman.
He respects me.
Really?
Well, smack me hard
and call me stupid.
- Hi, Steve.
- Laura.
That dress.
Why, you found the only gown
that could complement your beauty.
Thanks, Steve.
And it minimizes your butt too.
You're too kind.
So. Having fun?
I guess. How about you?
Laura, you were right.
Everyone's real impressed
that I'm out with Myra.
I'm glad.
- Laura.
- Yeah?
I thought we settled this.
Settled what?
I told you to stop
hanging out with the nerd.
Now, come on, I wanna dance.
I'm sorry, Jimmy,
but we can't dance.
- Why not?
- Because I'm about to break your legs.
What?
Nobody tells me who
I can and cannot see.
I'm my own woman, and I
can make my own decisions.
- But, baby...
- I'm not your baby.
Look, Steve Urkel
may be annoying...
but he's always
treated me with respect.
That's why he
has a date tonight.
And as of right now, you don't.
My goodness, I can't believe
how fast the evening's gone.
Yes, and in a moment they'll
be calling for the last dance.
That's when I'll have
a small task to perform.
Oh? Task?
Well, they put me in charge
of releasing the confetti.
But I got to thinking,
confetti is so passé.
Very.
- So, what did you come up with?
- Ah.
A remote-controlled
balloon drop.
Oh, Steve. Show me.
Wow.
Hey, you know, you
fellas have real potential.
If you keep practicing, why, you
might amount to something someday.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What's up?
Aha.
So you must be Waldo's cousin.
And now, you
magnificent Muskrats...
it's the moment you'll all
remember for the rest of your lives.
The last dance.
Yeah!
Don't be afraid of
what you feel, lady
Tonight is the
night That's my cue.
Are you ready for some magic?
Do it.
And do the things
to fulfill your needs
I'll make it worth your while
Did I do that?
Yes!
Well, you don't have to yell.
Hi, Laura.
Still wet, my pet?
No, just a little damp.
I just wanted to make
sure you didn't drown.
No, I climbed onto the
Eiffel Tower as it floated by.
Boy, I really outdid
myself this time, Laura.
I wiped out the
entire junior prom.
It could've happened to anybody.
No, it only could've
happened to you.
Laura, put what happened
tonight in a bottle and cork it.
It was vintage Urkel.
I guess I gave you
some bad advice.
Myra must've been
pretty upset with you.
No, actually, she wasn't.
She just gave me a peck
on the cheek and said:
"Don't you worry, Stevie-poo.
Even Einstein had setbacks."
So everything's okay?
Peachy keen.
Listen, the reason
why I stopped by is...
well, I'm sorry about Jimmy.
But I wanna thank you
for standing up for me.
I stood up for myself.
- Ah. So it was just a matter of principle.
- That's right.
It had nothing to do
whatsoever with the
possibility that you care
about me in any way?
That's right.
Not even the slightest little
teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy bit?
- Well...
- Stop there. I'll take it.
How about a hug?
Two seconds?
Yeah?
This is gonna be the
best junior prom ever.
Why, because of
the romantic theme?
No, because I'm going with you.
Oh, Jimmy.
Hey, Laura. How come there's
no Leaning Tower Of Pizza?
That's Pisa, Waldo.
And it's in Italy.
Yeah, and our theme
is "Paris in Springtime."
So change the theme.
Make it "Paris in Italy."
Work with me, people!
Hi-de-ho, promsters!
Hey, look who's
here. Steve Jerkel.
Oh, that's clever.
Steve, what the
heck is this thing?
This is the Steven Q.
Urkel turbo confetti cannon.
Patent pending.
Now, picture this.
The lights dim...
as the band begins to
play a slow, romantic song.
And, yes, it's the last dance.
Now, do we break this magic
moment to grab a wad of confetti?
No, sir.
Why, we merely flip this switch
for a gentle poof of confetti.
Did I do that?
Okay. Laura and I were
shopping all afternoon.
We hit every store in the mall.
I think we finally found
the perfect prom dress.
May I present Miss
Laura Winslow.
- Wow.
- Oh, look at my beautiful granddaughter.
You really like it?
Oh, sweetheart, I love it.
You look like a million bucks.
Actually, you're close.
What?
What did she mean
by that, Harriette?
Well, Carl, this is a quality dress.
You can't put a price on quality.
Well, the store did.
And they wouldn't let you out the
front door unless you paid that price.
Now, how much
quality, Harriette?
- Three hundred eighty-seven dollars.
- Oh!
Okay, Laura, go upstairs
and put on the other dress.
Okay, Mom.
There's another dress?
- Mama, there's another dress.
- I heard, Carl.
How much is the
other dress, Harriette?
A hundred and fifty dollars.
Oh, 150. That's a nice number.
Nice round number.
Don't be such a cheapskate.
I just don't believe
in wasting money.
Oh, they couldn't pry your
wallet open with the Jaws of Life.
What do you think, Daddy?
Now, that's a prom dress.
- You don't think it's too revealing?
- No.
Harriette, this is what the
kids are wearing these days.
Get with it. Loosen up.
I don't know, Carl,
$150 is a lot of money.
Well, it's a lot less than $387.
And besides, there's nothing
too good for my baby girl.
Thanks, Dad.
Love you.
- Yes! Mom, your plan worked!
- Yep.
Now, take that other dress back
and put it in your Aunt Rachel's closet.
Hey, Eddie. Who you
taking to the prom?
Gloria Hylton.
- Whoa. She's fly.
- Uh-huh.
Are you taking
Maxine to the prom?
Hey, is the bear Catholic?
How are things with Maxine?
Not so good. Her
dog's got worms.
No, I meant how are things
going between you two?
Fine. I mean, I'm not gonna stop
petting him just because he got worms.
Man, my head hurts.
Look, let's get
back to the prom.
- Does Weasel have a date yet?
- Yep.
I set him up with
my sister, Quesadilla.
You know, Waldo, I've been
meaning to ask you this for a long time.
How did your sister get
a name like Quesadilla?
She was born in Taco Bell.
It was either Quesadilla
or Burrito Grande.
Well, look.
You're making a mistake by
setting your sister up with Weasel.
- How come?
- Well, you know how Weasel is.
Yo, baby.
You looking fine, sweet thing.
I can make you real happy.
You think Weasel would
try something with my sister?
Well, in the famous words
of Ray Charles: Uh-huh.
Well, what should I do?
I'd keep a close eye
on Weasel at the prom.
Right. I'm gonna be on him
like ketchup on spaghetti.
My mom's a lousy cook.
Hello, my bodacious bookworm.
- Steve, I already have a date to the prom.
- Okay.
You're not gonna whine and
complain that I should go with you?
Been there, done that, moved on.
Oh.
Laura, I need your advice
on a very delicate situation.
Steve, if this involves your
colon again, just see a doctor.
No.
It concerns Myra.
Oh, how are you two
lovebirds getting along?
Well, very well.
In fact, too well.
She's been dropping subtle hints that
she'd like for me to take her to the prom.
Steve, Myra's a
beautiful, intelligent girl.
And not only that, and this is the
part that proves there's a God...
she actually likes you.
Go ahead and
take her to the prom.
Well, I can't.
Myra goes to a
different school...
and the lovely lass has no
idea that I have a reputation as...
a nerd.
Why, she thinks I'm
A-number-1, peachy keen.
She calls me her little
Adonis in suspenders.
That's cute.
Frightening, but cute.
Look, Steve, don't worry.
When you walk into that prom with
a pretty girl like Myra on your arm...
those kids are gonna
see you in a different light.
Hmm. I hadn't thought of that.
Well, think about it.
Laura, you're terrific.
You turned this little
sad sack into a glad bag.
Anytime, Steve.
Thanks, Laura. I'll invite
the little vixen forthwith.
- Steve?
- Yes, my pet?
This may sound
a little strange...
but in some kind of warped way,
I actually miss you asking me out.
And you know, in some bizarre way,
I actually miss hearing you say no.
Laura...
- will you go to the prom with me?
- No.
Ahh.
Hi.
Jerkel? What are you doing here?
I'll ask the questions, noodle-noggin.
What are you doing here?
I came to see Laura.
Well, there she is. You've
seen her. Now, beat it.
No. You beat it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Lucky for you I'm leaving.
Man, he gets under my skin.
Oh, come on. He's harmless.
But he's always hanging
around you, and I don't like that.
Relax, Jimmy. It's no big deal.
Now, you came to
study, let's just study.
Forget it. I can't concentrate.
I really like you, Laura.
But when you hang out with
him, it makes me look bad.
So if you want me, you
have to dump the nerd.
So don't just walk up phony
There's a time and there's a place
Where we can talk about it
'Cause I don't want to be disgraced
With all your
screams and shouting
Here we go Here we go again
Going through the same thing
Here we go Don't wanna
play the same game
Here we go again Here
we go Come on, y'all.
Going through the
same thing Here we go
Don't wanna play the same game
Not again I don't
wanna go through it
- Hey, Waldo.
- What's up?
I don't believe this. Portrait
is playing at our junior prom!
- Yep.
- How did we ever get them?
Simple. One of
them is my cousin.
Really? Which one?
I can't tell you.
The deal is, he'll do
anything I want, as
long as I promise not
to reveal we're related.
Yo, yo, yo! The
Weasel's on the loose!
Now the party is a "par-tay,"
know what I'm saying?
What's up, player?
A word with you, Weasel.
Excuse me, Quesadilla.
Don't be long, baby. I
wanna shake my booty.
I wanna shake it too.
Look, man. I love my sister.
If you do anything to
besmirch her reputation,
I'll be forced to
defend her honor.
Oh, yeah? How you gonna do that?
I'll get back to you.
Hey, listen, everybody!
Steve Urkel's coming.
He's got a date!
Huh?
Steve?
We seem to be the
center of attention.
Oh, really?
I hadn't noticed.
Steven, everyone
is staring at me.
Why, of course. They've never
seen such stunning beauty.
Oh, Steven, you're so sweet.
Yeah, yeah, baby Oh, no
Help me out Girl, I'm
coming back for love
As I look in the mirror
I see the pain inside
It's so funny how eyes never lie
The memories Yoo-hoo! Laura!
Oh, my God.
What are you guys doing here?
- Hi, honey.
- Ha-ha-ha.
Well, I missed my prom...
so I decided to bring
your mom to this one.
Just kidding. We
both had to work late...
and we realized we didn't get a photo of
our beautiful daughter in her prom dress.
- Honey, too much blush.
- Ma! Ma.
Hey, a little space, Ace.
Waldo, why are you bugging us?
Because you're my sister, and the way
I figure it, that makes me your brother.
And I don't want him to
take advantage of you.
Hey, I'm a big girl. I
can take care of myself.
Besides, Weasel's a gentleman.
He respects me.
Really?
Well, smack me hard
and call me stupid.
- Hi, Steve.
- Laura.
That dress.
Why, you found the only gown
that could complement your beauty.
Thanks, Steve.
And it minimizes your butt too.
You're too kind.
So. Having fun?
I guess. How about you?
Laura, you were right.
Everyone's real impressed
that I'm out with Myra.
I'm glad.
- Laura.
- Yeah?
I thought we settled this.
Settled what?
I told you to stop
hanging out with the nerd.
Now, come on, I wanna dance.
I'm sorry, Jimmy,
but we can't dance.
- Why not?
- Because I'm about to break your legs.
What?
Nobody tells me who
I can and cannot see.
I'm my own woman, and I
can make my own decisions.
- But, baby...
- I'm not your baby.
Look, Steve Urkel
may be annoying...
but he's always
treated me with respect.
That's why he
has a date tonight.
And as of right now, you don't.
My goodness, I can't believe
how fast the evening's gone.
Yes, and in a moment they'll
be calling for the last dance.
That's when I'll have
a small task to perform.
Oh? Task?
Well, they put me in charge
of releasing the confetti.
But I got to thinking,
confetti is so passé.
Very.
- So, what did you come up with?
- Ah.
A remote-controlled
balloon drop.
Oh, Steve. Show me.
Wow.
Hey, you know, you
fellas have real potential.
If you keep practicing, why, you
might amount to something someday.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What's up?
Aha.
So you must be Waldo's cousin.
And now, you
magnificent Muskrats...
it's the moment you'll all
remember for the rest of your lives.
The last dance.
Yeah!
Don't be afraid of
what you feel, lady
Tonight is the
night That's my cue.
Are you ready for some magic?
Do it.
And do the things
to fulfill your needs
I'll make it worth your while
Did I do that?
Yes!
Well, you don't have to yell.
Hi, Laura.
Still wet, my pet?
No, just a little damp.
I just wanted to make
sure you didn't drown.
No, I climbed onto the
Eiffel Tower as it floated by.
Boy, I really outdid
myself this time, Laura.
I wiped out the
entire junior prom.
It could've happened to anybody.
No, it only could've
happened to you.
Laura, put what happened
tonight in a bottle and cork it.
It was vintage Urkel.
I guess I gave you
some bad advice.
Myra must've been
pretty upset with you.
No, actually, she wasn't.
She just gave me a peck
on the cheek and said:
"Don't you worry, Stevie-poo.
Even Einstein had setbacks."
So everything's okay?
Peachy keen.
Listen, the reason
why I stopped by is...
well, I'm sorry about Jimmy.
But I wanna thank you
for standing up for me.
I stood up for myself.
- Ah. So it was just a matter of principle.
- That's right.
It had nothing to do
whatsoever with the
possibility that you care
about me in any way?
That's right.
Not even the slightest little
teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy bit?
- Well...
- Stop there. I'll take it.
How about a hug?
Two seconds?