Faking It (2014–2016): Season 3, Episode 4 - Jagged Little Heart - full transcript

Previously on "Faking It"...

- You two are friends now?
- Mm-hmm.

Dylan is cheating on
her. Some has to tell Karma.

We're done.

Everyone's talking about your video.

At least I didn't
abandon my best friend.

You forced me to kiss
you over and over again,

and then you rejected me!

I don't want to keep hurting you, Amy,

but I don't know how to be your friend

without hurting you.



Oh, no. Amy!

What are you doing?

Mom, it's fine.

I learned a lot about
refinishing furniture

with all the lesbians this Summer.

Enough with the DIY.

Honey, I get it.

You're tryin' to distract yourself
from missing Karma.

This is about creating better workflow.

Well, flow your work somewhere else.

No more home projects.

End of story.

We have over 10,000 followers

across all social media platforms.



People are so inspired by you.

Except I can't be an
inspirational figure

if I only inspire people to rage.

Who'd you piss off now?

New Lisbeth tweeted

that Elisabeth
Hasselbeck is my spirit animal.

True as that may be, it's also offensive

to the Native
American peoples, apparently.

She really it this time.

Lauren, she's standing right there.

No, I'm talking about old New Lisbeth.

This is new New Lisbeth.

Okay. Brainstorm time, girls.

I need new ideas

to expand my public reach.

- Let's make a documentary.
- You have my attention.

We can follow you with cameras,

and capture your inspiring journey.

People love seeing inside the
lives of public figures.

When do we start?

Karma, we have something

we think is going to cheer you up.

Look what we found unpacking

the last of the boxes from storage.

- Ah?
- It's a sign.

Destiny is sure to bring

you and Amy back together.

Sorry, but I don't
believe in signs anymore.

And even if I did, look at this.

It's a half-broken
heart with jagged edges.

If anything, we were
destined to be torn apart.

Sensing a lot of sublimated
emotions right now.

We could talk through those.

Oh, I can get the therapy puppets.

No. Please, no puppets.

Because there is no
hope, and I've accepted that.

Honey, you've been holed
up in here all week.

I've just been
laser-focused on my music,

but I'm-I'm heading out to
go meet Shane for coffee,

so no reason for concern.

All right. Thank you.

Bye.

What does "in perpetuity" mean?

It means if you don't
sign, you get cut out.

That simple enough?

I got two cameras from the AV club

that will work great with
the hand-held setups,

and I'm gonna get a B-camera operator

to get coverage for better editing.

Wow, Amy, you actually sound like

you know what you're talking about.

This could be big.

Like, we could make money off of this.

Well, documentaries don't
really make money,

but we can help people.

Right. That. Leila. Lisbeth.

I think hair and make-up
tests are in order.

Excuse us.

Look who just stopped by
with his charming smile.

- Felix.
- Hey.

Holy crap. Hi.

So good to see you
again after this summer.

Did you have a good one?

Well, I spent it in
rehab, so there's that.

Oh, that sounds so relaxing.

Maybe I need rehab.

Anyway, I'll leave you two alone.

I'm sure you want to catch up.

Even after a rehab reveal,
your mom still roots for me.

- How was it?
- Oh.

I'd say it was a sobering experience.

Hey, um, do you have any plans tonight?

Oh, so, listen. About that.

I'm actually not
supposed to date anyone...

six months from my
sober date, to be exact.

You know, it's part of
these recovery rules.

Not that I wouldn't, though,

because you're givin' me a weird face.

What?

Actually, I was
gonna ask you if you wanted

to be my cameraman for this documentary

that I've got with Lauren.

Oh, and you couldn't have stopped me.

Oh, but you were on such a roll.

Well, let me just pull my
foot out of my mouth and say,

"Sure, I'd love to
hold a camera for you."

What's Karma doing? Wardrobe I bet.

Karma and I aren't
really friends anymore.

It was a thing, but
it's so not a big deal.

That's like saying, "The Titanic hit

so not a big iceberg."

What happened?

What's past is past. There's
no need to dwell.

Especially with all this film prep

that we have, so,

let's get cracking.

* Lips like fire *

* They fill my dreams *

* I'm your James Dean *

One soy hazelnut
double-shot latte, iced.

So, what, did they hire you

and the live music?

No, it's an open mic thing.

So, I take it that means you
can't get me his digits?

Uh, did you go on a break?

'Cause this looks like a
break, and it sounds like a break,

but you didn't ask me for a break.

Rachel, can I take a break?

No. I need you.

Um, behind the bar,

because your foam art skills are clutch,

and people lose their

Without the hearts and
leaves on their lattes.

Speaking of getting digits,

boss lady's, like, super into you.

What? No.

One, she's not my
boss. She's my supervisor.

And two, I do not
think that was flirting.

And three, you're still hung up

on a certain redheaded former paramour.

- Karma.
- Obviously.

- Who else?
- Hey!

Nice apron.

Nice... you.

Oh, look at that. Okay, duty calls.

Look who crawled out of her cave.

Is your skin burning from
overdue sun exposure?

How are your eyes adjusting?

What is with everyone?

I'm fine.

Really, I'm fine.

How many sad songs have
you written this week?

I lost count.

But it's a good thing.

I mean, I release my
emotional demons through song.

And what about exorcising those demons

in front of a live audience.

- What? Here?
- Come on.

I'll go up there with you.

We'll be the Brew &
Chew version of She & Him.

You're not gonna let this
go until I say, "yes," right?

It's like we've been friends forever.

Hi. I'm Lauren.

I'm a 16 year-old girl
living in Austin, Texas,

and I'm just like you.

Eww. No. Uh, that was wrong.

Let's take that again. Forget
that last one, okay?

- Okay.
- Just relax.

I'm gonna keep the
camera rolling so that

it gets everything... It
doesn't have to be perfect.

Just be real.

Yeah, but I want it
to be really perfect.

Hello, Lauren.

I was wondering if you have a moment

to discuss with me a
problem I am having.

I always have time for a friend in need.

I have a date tonight,

but I am worried my
lips do not stand out.

Ugh, that is a problem.

You know, you can get the
same shine my lips have

by using Sweep'n 'Shine glossy lipstick.

What the?

Cut!

What is this? What is happening?

I'm just trying to
show potential sponsors

how seamlessly I can integrate products

into my reality show.

Reality show.

Lauren, this is a documentary.

I told you, it's not about the money.

For you maybe,

but I parlay my inspirational fame

into an aspirational lifestyle brand.

I'm calling it "Life By Lauren."

This project should be about something.

It is about something, me.

And as the star, I
say what it should be.

Come on, Leila.

This is crazy, right?

She's only got followers
because she came out as intersex.

People want to know what that's like.

Not what she puts on her lips.

Well, you know, kids these days

do seem to like their Kardashian shows.

It's like she's afraid to
open up and let people in.

Well, you know,
sometimes people are too stubborn

to let others know what
they're going through.

Well, maybe they need to talk

if they ever hope to deal with it.

Sometimes you need that special someone.

Someone who understands.

Someone who won't judge.

You're right, that is
exactly what Lauren needs.

* When the Sun *

* Sets on summer *

* When it all *

* Gets torn apart *

* You leave *

* Me with nothing *

* But my jagged *

* Little heart *

Wow, so, so many
great performances today,

but only two can advance to Austin's

"Master of the Mic" contest.

- Contest?
- Where the winner gets $5,000.

So, the two bands joining the battle

right here tomorrow night

are "Noah's Ark" and..

"Zee and Zim?"

Whoa! Oh, my...

We're not married to the name.

I had no idea this was a qualifier.

Shane. I have so many song ideas.

I... I have to get them down.

Go. Write. You're welcome.

Wow. Karma.

You've gotten even better.

You got to save some
talent for the rest of us.

Thank you.

That means a lot.

Hey, um, you should come tomorrow night.

It'd be nice to have a
friendly face in the crowd.

- Cool.
- Cool.

- It sounded really good, man.
- Song's amazing.

Hey, you were really good up there.

I couldn't take my eyes off you.

Oh, well, same.

- Shane.
- Noah.

Oh, you must be "Noah's Ark," right?

So, I guess we'll be
seeing each other again tomorrow.

I look forward to

looking at you again, and good luck.

Thanks.

And this is the part where
you say "good luck" back.

It's gonna take a lot more
than luck for you to win.

Why is that? You
think you're better than me?

No.

Because I think you're better than her.

You should be the one in the front.

At least, if you really
want us to swoon for you.

- Hey.
- Oh!

I'm so happy you're here early.

Um, I wanted your
opinions on some new ideas.

Uh-huh, opinions. I'm full of them.

But first, we should
have a higher level convo.

"Higher level?" What does that mean?

So it has come to my attention

that this contest is
on a much bigger stage,

which means to win, we'll
need a much bigger sound.

But never fear.

I've already done all the work.

Um, this is a cover. With a full band.

I'm basically the
back-up singer in this.

Well, yeah, you're a little bit country,

and I'm a little bit
more "Glam Rock God."

Trust. This is the best way.

Let's see what we can
do to jooj up your look.

Yeah.

What the?

That bitch can't talk
that on me.

Dial back the language. We're
going for Bravo, not TLC.

I can't believe Leila said
that. You should confront her.

Holding in those feelings can be toxic.

Ugh, Leila's early.

Lisbeth, go see who it is!

Okay. Okay.

Why does she keep doing that?

So this is the big fight scene.

After some heated
exchange, I'll step in as peacemaker,

teaching my followers a
valuable lesson in diplomacy.

Lauren. Hi, I'm Raven.

It's so nice to finally meet you.

We watch the video of your Hester speech

at the office at least once a day.

Amy?

I reached out to Raven
at Interact last night.

You know, so you can
connect with your intersex community

while the cameras are rolling.

Is that a problem?

Why would that be a problem?

Where are my manners? Raven.

Won't you please join me for a chat?

Absolutely. Yeah.

Hey.

You okay?

Come on, don't be nervous.

Why would I be?

I mean, I'm barely even
in the band anymore.

Shane thinks we need a
different sound to win.

He's probably right.

Shane's probably just trying
to impress that guy.

Of course. Vintage Shane.

Why should I expect anything less?

Forget Shane.

Do not let him stand on
your shoulders to stand out.

'Cause the Karma I know

deserves to be in that spotlight.

You're sweet to say that.

I'm sorry.

Actually, you know what?

I don't want to apologize for that.

I still feel like there's
something there between us,

and can you honestly say
that you don't feel that?

Now, please welcome to
the stage, "Zee and Zim."

Okay, go. Have your moment.

And then after, if you
think it's our moment,

then meet me back here
and we'll figure it out.

Together.

And, when I found the online community,

I was so relieved
just to be able to connect

with other people like me, you know?

- Mm-hmm.
- But tell me about you.

I want to hear all about your story.

Oh. Oh, um, nothing to tell.

Really, I'm just Lauren Cooper.

Normal girl.

Oh, but, the whole concept of normal

is so subjective, you know?

What does it really even mean?

You know, normal.

Some people are normal.

Some people...

Hey, have you ever tried

this Color-Mass Mint Julep eye shadow?

Wait, I'm... I'm
sorry, I thought you said

Lauren wants to be an
intersex spokesperson.

No, in fact, I never said that.

No, I don't want to be that.

I shouldn't have to be that!

Cut. Cut.

We should go up there right now.

Get the rawness of her emotion.

Uh, maybe you need to be doing this

to avoid dealing with your Karma stuff,

but look, I... I don't.

You need to work this
out with Lauren yourself.

Off camera.

Leave me alone or I
will take that camera,

shove it down your
throat, and document your insides.

Jesus. No camera, okay?

See?

And, hey, in my defense,

this is exactly what you signed up for.

What?

Some intersex PSA?

Because I wanted this
to be "Life By Lauren."

- Not "Lauren's Life By Amy."
- Why?

So you can help people pick
a frickin' lipstick?

Why don't you want to be a
leader for your community?

But why do I have to
be a leader for anybody?

What about you?

Why don't you be a
leader for your people?

Oh, that's right.

Because you're still on your journey

and refuse a label. How convenient.

Well, I didn't get to pick my label.

I am stuck with it and I'm
doing the best I can, okay?

Lauren.

Lauren.

Okay.

It is possible

that I may have gotten a
little too carried away.

But... only because I thought

we were doing something that
could change the world.

And you're, like, the only person I know

who could do that if
you actually wanted to.

I mean, you're scary
good at getting what you want.

Lauren?

All right.

I'll leave you alone.

And whenever you're
ready, if... if you still want to,

we'll make the show you want to make.

* Each morning I get
up, I die a little *

* Can barely stand on my feet *

* Take a look in
the mirror and cry *

* Lord, what you doing to me? *

* I've spent all my
years in believing you *

* But I just can't get no relief *

* Lord! Somebody *

- * Somebody *
- * Ooh, somebody *

- * Somebody *
- * Somebody *

* Somebody *

- * Somebody *
- * Somebody *

* Can anybody find me *

* Somebody to love? *

Well, you wanted a blowout.

Looks like your Freddy
Mercury's in retrograde.

Did-did you set me up?

I thought I'd psych you out a little.

I didn't think you'd
go full-on Chernobyl.

Sorry.

See, Dad? No party.

Oh, um, be home soon.

- Principal dad keepin' tabs?
- Yeah.

In addition to the whole "six
months no dating" rule,

I also have to do a
visual check-in every hour.

It's even more annoying than it sounds.

So, uh, how's Lauren? Did you...

Realize that you were totally right?

Yup.

I still wish she
would open up with someone

about what she's going through.

She's so closed off.

Well, you know, sometimes people

are too stubborn to let anyone in.

Yeah.

Okay.

How do you not realize

I'm talking about what
happened with you and Karma?

That's different.

- How?
- Because.

If I talk about it, then it's real.

Like, really real.

And I can't deal with it being
that real right now, so...

Hey, we don't have to talk about it.

Talk about what?

So, that, uh, that new pope.

He seems pretty cool, right?

Remind me.

When is that "six
month no dating" thing over?

Midnight, New Year's Eve.

Oh.

What possible excuse do you have
for majorly ruining this?

Oh, get off your high horse.

I know you just shoved me
aside to impress some boy.

Oh, please, like
you've never done anything

to impress a boy before.

Shane!

This was the only
thing making me feel better,

and now I feel so much worse.

Friends don't do this.

Real friends look out for you.

They go out of their way for you.

Real friends are there for you

when you need them no matter what.

Karma, I'm sorry.

What!

Okay.

So... yeah.

Maybe I am afraid to open up.

Maybe I'm scared to face reality.

Because ever since I
found out I was born different,

I've done everything I
could to be a normal girl.

But somebody asked me
today what normal even means,

and I didn't have a good answer.

Maybe I need to find one.

- Hey. Have you seen Karma?
- She bolted a while back.

Rachel? Hi.

Uh, what are you still doing here?

Oh, you know,

I'm just, um,

making sure that you're
not stealing from inventory.

I mean, those stir sticks disappear
a little too quick.

You know what I mean?

That's the only reason?

Okay, busted.

You got me red-handed
with my pants down.

Oh my God. Um, okay.

I'm just gonna go for this.

I was hoping that you would be here

so that I could ask you out.

Uh, "totes inappropes" though, right?

But now it's out there, so...

you want to grab coffee sometime?

I'd like that.

As long as it's not the Brew & Chew.

Oh, God no.

Please. Help.

- They told me to come here.
- What's wrong?

Um, my father, Lucas
Ashcroft, he had a heart attack.

Please...

They're still working on him.

Wor-Working on him?

Wha-What does that mean?

Is... is he... is he okay?

Let me find a doctor to talk to you.