Faking It (2014–2016): Season 3, Episode 10 - Up in Flames - full transcript

As the new year approaches, Karma takes drastic measures to make Amy happy. The return of someone from the past makes Lauren insecure.

Previously on Faking It...

Let me be the messenger.

But... won't that ruin

- your chances with Amy?
- I think I'll be okay.

If you don't see me as fully male,

then maybe we shouldn't date.

- Let's talk.
- We just did.

The whole internet
thinks we're a couple!

Just tweet saying we're just friends.


- Who's this?
- Her boyfriend.

You've been lying this whole time?

It was a mistake!

- I'm so sorry.
- You saved me.

Did I mention that one
time when I yawned,

and I'm pretty sure Sabrina
didn't yawn after me?

That's a sign of a sociopath.
I looked it up online!

You have mentioned. Several times.

I'm overdoing it with the
Sabrina talk, aren't I?

No. Amy, (BLEEP) talking your
ex with your best friend

is a constitutional right.

But... it's been two weeks.

You're right.

I've spent way too much time
overanalyzing her... crazy.

Yeah. She's not worth it.

So let's go O.D. on fro-yo

and not think about her.

Oh, I've missed fro-yo.

Sabrina couldn't do dairy.

Except for that one time

she took a bite of my cheeseburger.

So many lies.

Hey, girls! Sorry to interrupt.

We just wanted to invite you to join us.

Yeah. Diane's leading us

in her year-end cleansing ritual.

Yeah, uh... no, thanks, Diane.

Well, are you sure? It's way cathartic.

We're symbolically burning things

to "let go of" in the new year.


that sounds perfect, Diane.

- This new year...
- BOTH: Let it go, let it go...

- I release myself from...
- Let it go-go-go...

The clutches of those twin siren
sisters tar and nicotine!


- I feel different now! Oh!

Okay, you're next.

- Ready to let it go?
- Okay...

ALL: Let it go, let it
go, let it go-go-go!

So long, psycho-Sabrina.

You forced me to watch
the dreaded last season

of "The L Word" with you...
Let it gogo-go...

Let it go, let it go, let it go-go-go.

- And...
- Let it go, let it go...

Screw you for looking so in
love with me in this picture!

Let it go, let it go-go-go!

Let it go, let it go... I'm moving on!

That felt good.

I think that really worked.


- So proud of you.
- It's a new year!

- Thanks.
- It's a new year!


Oh, my God.

I am so, so sorry.

Don't worry, Amy.

This definitely isn't your fault.

It'll all be okay.

Aunt Sage sold us some
great insurance, so...

And at least Amy is over Sabrina.

Ha. Yep! Ha.

So... over her.


Morning, muffin.

Hashtag breakfast for my man.
Hashtag... Booper.

Lauren, will you stop

with the cutesy couple
photos already, please?

- This is getting ridiculous.

Would you call doubling up
my followers ridiculous?

Everyone is shipping us so hard!

I'm not "shipping" this.

Please, it's been two weeks.
Can we fake break up already?

People are invested.

We need to ride this out
until Boopermania dies down.

Then right at the moment
we've stopped trending...

Bam! We break up and get
them talking again.

You're a monster.

(SCOFFS) Don't act like

you're not getting
something out of this too.

Oh, yeah? What could I possibly
be getting out of this?

Oh, what about Karma?

It's obvious you two
are just killing time

until you inevitably get back together.

So let's speed that up with
some old-fashioned jealousy.

I'm not gonna pretend
to be in a relationship

just to make someone jealous.

If you say so.


- We get to be roommates!

It's like we're fast-forwarding

to "Karma and Amy: The College Years."


Only with parental supervision.

And you're both sure you can handle this

emotionally? 'Cause I have to admit,

I'm a tiny bit terrified.

Mom, I just broke up with Sabrina.

Yeah, and before that,
that thing with Felix.

- Mm-hmm.
- Which... may or may not

- still exist.
- That too! See?

Have you give any more
thought to his offer?

Not that I'm pushing Felix.
Or boys in general.

I know how you love to defy me.

Not this time, Mom. You were right.

Everything does happen for a reason.

Sabrina turned out to be a whack job

because I'm meant to spend
New Year's with Felix.

Are you sure about that?

I mean, it wouldn't be fair to Felix

if you're not over Sabrina.

I told you, I am!

And I think we can all
agree that Felix is great.

You text him right now and make a plan.


- Great.

Hee-huge news.

Our band's headlining a
mysterious New Year's Party

hosted by a surprise celebrity.

I don't know... how do we
know if it's even real?

Come on, they paid us double our quote...
in advance.

Well, why didn't you lead with that?

Text me the info. I'll
see you guys there.

Bye, Noah.


Okay. What is going on with you two?

You used to be all banter,
and now you're all business.

I can't talk about it to anyone, okay?

I wish I could, but I can't, all right?

Not even with Noah,
'cause when I tried to,

I hurt him, and I don't
want to hurt him again.

Can you just drop it, okay?

Shane, what the...

I can't talk about it!

- What's going on with him?
- He won't say.

He and Noah are having some issues.

Maybe you could give him some advice...

you know, since
everything's going so well

with hashtag-Booper!

Karma... are you jealous?

It's kinda hard to be
jealous of something

that's so obviously not real.

Mmm! You are a latte genius.



Wow! I can't believe

I'm actually helping
you shop for a dress!

This is blowing my mind a little bit.

I wanna look good on New Year's.

And boys like dresses.

I... heard what happened

with Sabrina.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. And I'm over it.

And I really don't feel
like talking about it,

so can we just drop it?

I know from experience
that saying you're okay

isn't the same as being okay, and...

Mm-mm. Pretending isn't
gonna make it all go away.

You're one to talk about pretending, Mrs.
Liam Booker.

What makes you think we're pretending?

Because it's absurd!

Lauren, you've done some pretty
crazy things to gain followers,

but... this one takes the deluded cake.

I am never giving
thoughtful advice again.


Hey, Karma. I'm sorry about your house.

Most of my stuff survived.

Zen is the one who lost everything.

- Plus, I get to live with Amy.

Who... I... hear will be
kissing you at midnight.

She sent me a text to that effect, yes.

Well, I'm super-happy for you two.

I-I know how much you've wanted this.

So you... can't think
of any other reason

why I shouldn't go with
Amy to New Year's?


Well, if isn't Sabrina
the teenage bitch.

Good one.

Karma, please hear me out.

Save it, Sabrina.

Go crawl back under your
rock with your boyfriend.

I broke up with Evan...
because I wanna be with Amy.

Look at me!

I'm a mess. I can't eat, I can't sleep.

All I can do is think about her.

Have you thought about telling
her this instead of us?

I tried... but she won't
let me talk to her.

That's why I'm here.

To ask for your help.

Ha. You're asking me to help you.

That's how much I care about Amy.

I'll do whatever it takes.
I just can't lose her!

Enough. Even if your feelings were real,

Amy's over you.

She's going to New Year's with Felix,

and she can't wait,

because she's meant to be with him...
not you.


Rough day, honey?

I saw Karma today.

She wasn't even the tiniest
bit jealous of us.

Ha! I knew you weren't above
making an ex jealous.

Yeah, well, Karma said
it's tough to be jealous

about something that isn't real.

Why the hell doesn't anyone
believe we're dating?

We're living together, sharing space.

Is it so hard to believe

that could have turned
into something more?

Maybe we need to show everybody

just how real we are.

And how exactly will we do that?

How great is this?

So great!

You know, normally, this is the time

where I would have to say
good night and go home.

- Except this is your home.

You know... I almost
want to thank Sabrina.

That's a healthy way of looking at it.

I told you... I'm over her.

Night, roomie.

Night, roomie.

(SINGSONG) I forgot
about one roomie perk!


Spontaneous late-night dance party!


Amy, what's wrong?

I'm sorry. It's nothing.

(SNIFFLES) I'm just being stupid.

You are not being stupid.

How could I not see through her lies?

You knew Sabrina was evil.
Why couldn't I see it?

Don't beat yourself up.
She fooled everyone.


I really thought I was
falling for someone who...


who loved me back.

That with Sabrina I could have...

What I couldn't give you.

I can't believe I thought

that could actually happen for me.


♪ Oh oh oh ah ah

-♪ Ooh ooh ooh oh oh ooh

Whoa! This New Year's party's crazy!

The whole school must be here.

Amy, are you sure about this?

I mean, after last night...

Karma, for the billionth time,

it was nothing.

But should you really be
going out with Felix?

You're still in love with Sabrina.

The Sabrina that I was in love with

doesn't exist.

The real Sabrina's not into me.

Felix is.

I owe it to myself to
see where it can go.


Here we are!

Ready to share our love with the world.

Yep! We're very happy!

The camera loves you.

I don't see Karma anywhere.

These photos will get back to her.

Now presenting our very special guest,

the star of the new up and
coming comedy "Just Joan"...

Oh, (BLEEP)!

Your hostess, Lisbeth Grubbler!

- It's meeee!

I'm baaaack!

- Oh!
- That's what happened to her?

I heard you killed her.
She was discovered

at a (BLEEP) Renn Faire
and booked a pilot.

I told her it would never
see the light of day,

but I guess I was wrong.

Wait... do people think I killed her?

You know, this was probably
not the best idea for a date,

considering I'm an alcoholic
and we both hate dancing.

Well, it's not an official
date until midnight,

so... keep it in your pants, buddy.

(LAUGHS) Right, I'll be sure to...

control myself until then.

So will I.

And I have my own dressing room,

and I have my own trailer,

and I have my own Israeli bodyguard.

And once there was a rabbit on the show,

and they let me hold the rabbit.

Wow, Lisbeth, your life
sounds so amazing.

It really is.

You know, Lisbeth,

I found success too.

Maybe you've heard of my brand...

Life by Lauren?

Do you want me to take
a picture with you?

It could help with your brand thingy.

I'm good. The only person

I want to take pictures with tonight

is my boyfriend Liam Booker.

You remember him, don't you?

You're dating Liam Booker?

Yep. And he and I are blissfully happy.

But good for you about
that rabbit, though.


Looking for someone?

What? Oh. No.

No one. Nothing.

Oh. I thought you might be looking

for the luckiest guy
in the world and, hey,

you found him, because, boy,

am I so happy to be dating Lauren.

(LAUGHS) Really?

You're still on this?

Why is it so hard to
believe I'm dating Lauren?

Because in addition to hating lying,

you're not very good at it.

Look, I know I'm not the best person

to be talking about fake relationships,

but unlike me, you've never
needed to lie and scheme.

And this whole thing with Lauren...
it just isn't you.

I gotta go.

Looks like someone's
been eating his spinach.

What's that supposed to mean?

Damn, my foot really lives in
my mouth when I'm with you.

Didn't know I was... so flexible.

Shane, I'm sorry.

This isn't your fault. It's me.

Maybe after tonight I
shouldn't be in the band.

Hey, come on, can't we talk about it?

- No (BLEEP) way!
- Jeez, okay, fine.

We don't have to.

My brother's here. I haven't seen him

since my parents kicked me out.

Brody, what the hell are you doing here?

You upset I finally found you?

What the hell have you done to yourself?

I haven't done anything
except be who I am.

Mom and Dad said you can come
home if you just drop all this.

I don't wanna talk to Mom and Dad

until they're ready to accept me.

But this isn't who you are.

You're my little sister Britney.

That's not my name. Don't call me that.

Your name is Britney.

- His name is Noah.
- Shane, don't.

Who the hell are you? This
is between me and her.

I'm Shane, and I like butting
into other people's business.

That's who I am. And he's Noah.

He's a dude, and he always has been.

You know how I know? Because
I'm super (BLEEP) gay,

and I couldn't be more
gay for your brother.

You should leave.


You two freaks deserve each other.

Hey, you okay?

I... I need some air.

(CLICK) Ooh! Perfect timing.

- I think we should break up.
- What? We had a plan!

Yeah. I don't care about that anymore.

This whole thing... it's not me.

But having a hot boyfriend

is the only thing I have on Lisbeth.


Yes. You are conventionally attractive.

But that's useless to me if
we aren't pretend dating.

So here... get in the selfie.

No, Lauren, stop. I am done with this.

Fine. We can break up.

Just give me one minute to...

freshen up.

She's not coming back, is she?



There you are. Took you long enough.

Karma, thank you so much
for doing this for me.

This isn't for you. I'm
doing this for Amy.

- Doing what for me?
- Yeah, Karma, what's going on?

Amy, please...

I don't know what you're up to,

but I'm on a date with Felix,

and I don't want anyone ruining it.

Come on.

Sweetie muffin?

Come on, your boo needs
to talk to you. Ha...


There you are!

Hey, Lisbeth. I'm just...

keeping my distance from Liam

because we really wanna
build up the suspense

for our big New Year's moment.

I have to hand it to you.

I thought "Joan" would
be inspirational, but...

you have me beat.

I mean, a girl like you
dating Liam Booker?

What's more inspirational than that?


You know, I don't need
you to stand up for me.

I can take care of myself.

I know. I'm sorry.

Just... hearing him
misgender you like that...

I lost it.

Did you really mean what you said?

Of course I did.

You know, I'm sorry for
making you feel like

I didn't see you for who you are,

because I really do.

Thank you for saying that.

And it's nice to know that...

that's the way you feel.

Does this mean

we can give it another try?


what if I say something
dumb or insensitive again?

You're Shane Harvey.

That's... pretty much a guarantee.

Okay, Felix, ten minutes till midnight.

Get those breath mints ready. Uh...

Yeah, um, about that...

I know I'm ready to date, but...
are you?

Yeah, of course! Look at me.

I can't (BLEEP) wait!

- 'Scuse me.

Hi. Uh, I need everyone's attention.

Well, actually, I just need
one person's attention.

Amy! Listen.

I know you're hurt.

But I can't stand seeing my
best friend give up on hope.

I don't even like Sabrina,

but I want you to be happy.

Please hear her out.



First of all, Amy,

I am so sorry.

I was pretending to be questioning

to get closer to you,
to beat Karma, really.

But then I realized why I really did it.

Amy Raudenfeld,

I'm in love with you,

and I think I have been since camp.

And all the lying,

the possessiveness has been about that.

And I know it sounds weird, but...

lying about my sexuality
made me see the truth.

But I know what I want now.

I want you.

Is there any way...

you could find it in your heart
to give me a second chance?




It's almost midnight, everybody.

Make sure that you have that
special someone nearby!

There you are. Can you
just dump me already?

- I wanna go home.
- About that.

I was thinking...

- we can keep fake dating.
- Really?

Well, until that bitch
Lisbeth leaves town.

Oh! Oh!

You're not gonna regret this.

I'm gonna make you so... fake happy!

CROWD: Ten, nine,

eight, seven, six...

You know what we have to do, right,

- to really sell this?
- Four, three...

- I'm ready. Let's do it.
- Zero, one!


- ALL: Happy New Year!

- Gross.
- Yeah.

♪ Should auld acquaintance
be forgot... ♪

Thank you for giving me a second chance.

New Year's is all about
fresh starts, right?

♪ Should auld acquaintance
be forgot... ♪

(MOUTHING) Thank you.

(MOUTHING) Happy New Year.

♪ For auld lang syne, my dear ♪

♪ For auld lang syne

♪ We'll take a cup of kindness yet ♪

♪ For auld lang syne


So, uh... that was a weird night, huh?

- I'm so sorry.
- Karma...

I-I wanted to make
things right with Amy,

but I never, ever
wanted you to get hurt.

It's okay. I'm not hurt.

- You're not?
- No, I mean...

I like Amy. We have a lot in common.

But she wanted to kiss
someone else at midnight,

and that's okay.

Because, uh...

I did too.

You did?

I'm sorry, was... was that...
was that...

I knew I couldn't pull this off...