Faking It (2014–2016): Season 2, Episode 2 - You Can't Handle the Truth or Dare - full transcript

Previously on "Faking It"...

From now on, I'll just
stay out of your life.

Maybe that's for the best.

What it would do to Karma if she found out

that her soul mate slept with you?

I was born intersex.

The pills I take are hormone replacements.

I'm worried you're pulling away.

I could never hate you.

I could never hate you, either.




I thought you might want
your work shirt back.

I washed it.

And ironed it.

If it smells like weed,
it's because it's been

within ten feet of my parents.


So what are you working on?

Oh, uh... oh, it's nothin'.

Mr. Humble.

I'm sure it's brilliant.

Wow, a heart.


- You really nailed it.
- Karma...

I should go.

I have trig with Mr. Hanley,

and if I'm late, I'm
gonna have to sit up front

and get a spittle shower.

You and Karma are having a girls' weekend?

Sure that's a good idea?

Why wouldn't it be?

Oh, I don't know, maybe because last week

you told her you were in love with her?

She doesn't feel the same way,

and that's okay, but
I'm so glad I told her.

I'm living my truth.

Nice try, Oprah.

I know you're lying.

I've been celibate for six days,
and my senses are heightened.

I'm not.

Look, I told you my, my biggest fear

was losing my best friend,
and that didn't happen.

So there's no weirdness
between you two at all?

It's only weird if we make things weird,

and we're not making it weird.

That's weird.

Amy, you just handed Karma your heart,

and she chopped it up
like a spicy tuna roll.

Hey, she's not the enemy.

We both did some pretty messed up things.

She lied about being a lesbian

to be popular and sleep with Liam.

What do you have to feel guilty about?

There you are.

Oh... Hey... You.

Hey... Oh...

Oh, gosh, look at the time.

I... I'm late for...


Call ya later, weirdo.

What were you guys, uh, talkin' about?

Nothin', just gay stuff.
You know how it is.

Great, more secrets.

I promise they're not about you.

Hey, we still on for crashing
sing-along frozen tonight?

I was up all night workin' on our costumes.

Yeah, sure.

Pick me up at 8:00?

"5:00 to 5:30, bake snickerdoodles."

Startin' out strong, I like it.

"5:30 to 5:45, eat snickerdoodles."


"5:45 to 6:00, regret
eating snickerdoodles."

Sounds like a lot.

We could dial it back,

which will give us more time
for the trashy magazine quizzes.

"How well do you really know Beyonce?"


"Are you good-girl
hot or bad-girl hot?"

And "do you secretly have
a crush on your b-f... "

Maybe not that one.

What's the big black box at 6:30?

Our Twilight hate-watch black hole.

We're gonna lose all
concept of space and time.

Sign me up for all of it.

Perfect, now let's get out of our clothes

and into some sweats.

I'm sorry.

Is this weird? I... I'm
just tryin' to act normal.

What? Oh, yeah, no, yeah, totally.

It just...

My face is doin' this, because...

I really need to pee.


I'll just wait until you're
through. Don't mind me.

Get out of here.

Not until we talk.

Whatever it is you want to say can wait

till I'm not on the toilet.

No, it can't.

Fine. What is it?

Uh... I... I was...

I was wondering if you...

If you wanted to hang out
with me and Karma this weekend.

Why? We hate each other.

We do not.

Turn around. I need to wipe.

We just got started on the wrong foot.

And now that we're sisters,

we should really give it another shot.

Lucky for you, my plans canceled.

Looks like I'm not the only
one havin' a crappy day.

I'm havin' a crappy week.

Man, I hate to brag, but
mine was the crappiest.

I just moved here from Decatur
to live with my grandma,

'cause my pops went to prison for sleepin'

with one of his patients.

- That sucks.
- Yeah,

and he's a veterinarian.

I'm just with
ya. He's a pediatrician.

- Really?
- No, not really.

Wow, you're gullible.

- Yeah, I guess I am.
- He's a mortician.

But leadin' with the other two
doesn't make it sound as bad.

Okay, you win; you definitely
had the crappiest week.

Thank you.

If I help you change that flat,
can my prize be a ride home?

- Got a deal.
- All right.

While we work, will you explain
to me what the deal is here?

Today in the cafeteria, they served tempeh.

- What the hell is that?
- Soybean cake.

If you marinate it the right
way, it tastes just like...


That's nasty.

I'm so full I look pregnant.

When I think about how many
calories I just ingested,

I want to cry.

Yeah, that was disgusting.

It was like watching two hyenas feeding.

You're not allowed to
participate in cookie remorse

unless you ate one.

Hey, I are half of one,

and instead of complaining,
I'm gonna work it off tomorrow.

Hmm, is it cold in here, or is it just me?

It's you.

I'm gonna go grab my fuzzy socks.

Okay, what's going on?

Is she blackmailing you again?

Because if so, we should call the cops.

No, why do you ask?

Because you invited her
to be our third wheel,

unless you want to have a third wheel,

because you feel weird
about being alone with me.


Stop smoking crack. I
just feel bad for her.

This whole intersex thing
really humanized her.

Poor thing.

Yeah, it is really sad.

Oh, it was just so much easier
when we could just hate her.

Okay, Sven, check out your antlers.

Oh, hello.

Shane, meet Theo.

He's new at school, so I
invited him out with us tonight.

Oh, you can be Elsa. I have the dress.

I was gonna wear it,
but it felt... expected.

Nah, I'm good.

Actually, we were talkin'
about a change of plans.

Theo knows this great
dive bar just outside town.

The police are too scared to go in there.

And that's a good thing?

Yeah, they don't card.

I'm not exactly dressed for that.

I know, I'm sorry, I just
think is my speed tonight.

If you don't want to go, I get it.

We'll just drop you off on the way.

No, it's fine.

I'll just... "Let it go."

"Let it go."

But I'm gonna change first.

He must go all out for Halloween.

It is epic.

You gonna watch the whole movie on mute?

Yeah, so we could add our commentary.

Why do vampires glisten in the sun?

What evolutionary purpose
could that possibly serve?

It makes Edward more dreamy.

He's a paler than a marshmallow,

you could watch a movie off his forehead.

Back me up, Lauren.

Well, he's 200 years old

and hitting on a
16-year-old girl.

- That's kind of gross.
- Thank you.

Then again, there's something irresistible

about a rich, brooding bad boy.


And they're always scowling at each other.

They don't look like
they're having a good time.

Of course they are. He's her O.T.P.

- O.T.P.?
- One true pairing.

She means they're soul mates.


But then again, maybe
Jacob's her soul mate?

After all, he's been her loyal
friend for her whole life.

So loyal.

Maybe she's been too dazzled
by Edward's disco ball skin

to see that they'd be perfect together.

But she doesn't feel that way about Jacob,

even if part of her wishes she did.

Maybe if she tried...

she's in love with Edward.

Jeez, are we still talking about Twilight?

Oh, I can't believe we're here.

But I shouldn't be watching this.

My parents would call this sorcery.

Can I take a selfie?

Oh, I should move.

You guys probably want to hold hands.

Lauren, can I speak to you for a moment?

But Bella's about to
give birth to Renesmee.

It's important.

And that is the stupidest
character name ever.

- I love your braid...
- What's wrong, sis?

- You seem upset.
- I was nice enough to invite

you to hang out with us.
And you invite those two.

Please. You weren't being nice.

I overheard everything you and Karma said.

Of course you did, that's
your signature move.

- Look, about that...
- Karma was right.

You only invited me
because things are so weird

between you two.

So I thought I'd make them weirder.

Things aren't weird between us.

Really? So there are no
more secrets between you?


Everything's out in the open.

Let's put that to the test.

Who's up for some truth or date?

What? Seriously?

Welcome to bait and tackle.

This place is awesome.

It smells like pee.

Uh, just in this corner.

- Who's up for a game of pool?
- Yeah, I'm in.

Shane, you got the winner.

Oh, that's right.

I live in Texas.

Ketchup, chocolate sauce, vinegar, and...

2 cups of Mayo.

Oh, plus...

It's not fair you get to go first.

I rolled a six. You can always chose truth.

Give your friends a chance
to get to know you better.

My turn.

- Come on. Please?
- Oh, please.

Me, me, me, me, me.

Pick me. Pick me. Pick me. Pick me.


Truth or dare?



I dare you to kiss Amy

for 60 seconds...

with tongue.

- Nice shot.
- You, you monkey butt.

Oh, well you
too, you.

I hate you and your
face wad.

Whoa. Hey, you okay?

Finally a guy who cares about me,

unlike that piece of.

Never should have gotten his
named tattooed on my back...

Uh, can I please see it?

It would really turn my evening around.


Uh... maybe you could change
it into a flower or a dolphin

or something?

Hey, you hittin' on my girl?

I'm guessing you're Bubba.

But don't worry. She's not really my type.

Not your type? Are you a homo?

I am a homo... a homo sapien.

What species are you?

I'm a heterosexual.


'Cause you're standing awfully close,

but you should know I'm not into back hair,

and I'm guessing you've got a lot.

Uh, we were just leaving.

It's time for his seizure medication.

I got this.

That seemed like a much
better idea in my head.

Let's roll.

Time starts when your tongues touch.

Actually, you know what?
I'm... I'm gonna go with truth.


How was sex with Liam Booker?

Ooh, good one.

I'm curious about that myself.


It was fine.

Nothing to write home about.

Amy, do you agree?

What? Excuse me?

Didn't you guys have a threesome?

O... oh... Yeah, we didn't
go through with it, though,

and, Lisbeth, it's not your turn.

There are rules for a reason, people.


I chose... Lauren.

Truth or dare?


And then, Liam, you punched that guy

with the bottle when he tried to hit me.

And then, Shane... but,
Shane, oh, my goodness,

those were some crazy-ass
Tarantino moves back there.

Where'd you learn how to do that?


I was raised by a group of Shaolin monks.

- No way.
- Of course not.

When you grow up gay in Texas,

you sign up for tae kwon do early.

Okay, Shane, here you go, man.


What's gotten into you?

I don't want to talk about it.

If you have something to say, say it.


I think you picked that fight tonight.

- Why would I do that?
- Because you were jealous.

Of Theo? Of course not.

Don't be ridiculous.

Besides, I like him.

You know, he had my back.

You're the one who tried to
pull me away when that guy

was being a total dickwad.

I was just tryin' to protect you,

which is more than you did for me.

What are you talking about?

You kept Amy's secret at my expense.

You basically chose her over me.

That's not what happened.

Well, that's what it feels like.

- Liam...
- I'm done talking about it.

Please, go.

Um... should I move to the front?

I'm ready. Just do it.

- I can't do it.
- Oh, thank God. My turn.

Hand it over. I'll do it.

Truth. Truth. I choose truth.

Just shut that thing off.

What to ask...

How about, were you born
different than the rest of us?

Are you in love with Liam Booker?

Are you taking hormones?

Have you ever masturbated
thinking about Karma?

I don't want to play anymore.

Is green really your favorite color?

Amy? Can I come in?

I don't want to talk about it.

Since when has that stopped me before?

Ugh, I wish I never told you.

It changed everything.

No, it didn't.

Karma, when our hands touched,

you pulled yours away like I had ebola.

And that kiss...

Admit it; you're grossed out
that I'm attracted to you.

No, I'm not.

I swear I'm not grossed out.

I'm flattered.

Yeah, right.

I just wish that I felt the same way.

I know how painful it must be,

and I don't want to make it worse.

It's not like I know how
to stop being irresistible.

Wow, did you really just say that?

Yeah, I really did.

I'm sorry.

I'm doing this all wrong; I just
don't know what the rules are.

I don't know, either.

Well, we can't figure it out
if we don't talk about it,

no matter how uncomfortable it is.

Yeah, I know.

Like, can we sleep in
the same bed together?

'Cause if not, I'm happy
to sleep on the couch.

Okay, well...

I'm not "happy," but I'll do it.

I think I can handle that.


And how do you feel about back rubs?

I think we have to work up to that.

Got it, no worries.

I'm patient.

No, don't... stop.

Don't do it. No. Stop it.

Sure I feel bad but not that bad.

Amy was really struggling. She needed me.

Liam's straight; He doesn't understand

how confusing it is to
question your sexuality.

That's true, but have
you thought about things

from Liam's point of view?

I don't want to think about things

from Liam's point of view.

I want to bitch to my boyfriend.

Honey, I hear you're in pain,

but this is one of those
times when you have to decide

whether to feed the good
wolf or the bad wolf.

Not the wolves again.

That's it. I can't. We're done.

If you expect me to apologize,
don't hold your breath.

Come to think of it, hold it.

Look, I'm sorry. You were right.

I did invite you because
I wanted a third wheel.

Thank you.

But I feel really bad about it,

especially after what you shared with us...

Okay, zip it. I don't need your pity.

In fact, I'm the one that
should be pitying you.

For what?

I think you slept with Liam,

and now you have to live
with the crushing guilt.

What? That's insane. Why would you even...

I found the empty box for
your morning-after pill

in the bathroom.

Don't worry. I won't tell Karma.

And I'm supposed to trust you?

I had my chance last night,

but as much as I wanted
to, we're sisters now,

and there's a code.

Besides, even I'm not that cruel.

It would kill her.

I know.

It's hard to keep secrets that big.

Trust me, I know.

Well, I don't pity you.

Actually, I feel closer to you.

That's what happens when you let people in.

I should write that down.

"Life lessons from my
sexually confused stepsister."

I smell waffles

What are you guys talking about?

Oh, you know, just sister stuff.

I have a medical condition

called androgen insensitivity syndrome,

and the side effects include
good hair, great skin,

and no body odor.

Oh, cool. Can we get it too?

It's not something you can get.

I was born with XY chromosomes,

but I developed as a female, okay?

The pills I take are
estrogen, because my body

doesn't make any.


Now you know.

Can you have kids?

If it makes you feel better, I have eczema.

This is not group sharing, Lisbeth.