Faking It (2014–2016): Season 2, Episode 13 - Future Tense - full transcript
A college fair makes Amy question her future. Liam suspects he's found his real dad
You have to
tell her the truth.
How do i even begin? I'm sometimes
You have to tell her the truth.
Attracted to guys, and i once slept with liam.
You have to tell her the truth.
All these private sessions are starting to pay off.
You have to tell her the truth.
I've seen duke's abs all over stubbl.
You have to tell her the truth.
The gay hookup app.
You have to tell her the truth.
Robin, my sister, is really my mother,
You have to tell her the truth.
And those two, my grandparents,
You have to tell her the truth.
They raised me as their son.
You have to tell her the truth.
Why don't you just go to his new school
You have to tell her the truth.
- And out him as a narc? - He isn't who he says he is.
You have to tell her the truth.
- He's a narc! - Narc!
You have to tell her the truth.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Only at hester would we waste a p.E. Unit
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
On [bleep] tai chi.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Damn it! Duke's on stubbl again.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Well, you're on stubbl.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But only to see if he is.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Which he is-- for the fourth time today.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Shane harvey--sounds like you wanna be monogamous.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What? Eew, no! Gross.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
We're gay. I just want him
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
To only be gay for me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What are we--
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Hey. Sneak out friday night.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And bring handcuffs.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Yes, ma'am.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Anything specific you'd like me to wear?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Uh...Whatever you want.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But i might get hot wax on it.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
[whispers] eew!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
You sure you two aren't back together?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
We just...Have a thing.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
No commitment, no labels,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
No hurt feelings.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Speaking of-- how'd your conversation
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
With reagan go last night?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
She texted and said she couldn't make it.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But don't worry--i'm gonna head over there after school,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And i'm gonna tell her everything.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I'm just afraid she's gonna break up with me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Just be honest. Maybe she'll understand.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But...To be safe, if she gives you anything to drink,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Don't take it.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
So you said you had something to tell me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What is it?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Okay. Wow.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Uh...All right, let's just get right into it, shall we?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Well, you see-- [game sounds on tv]
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Can we go somewhere a little more private?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I have five roommates. There is nowhere private.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Don't worry. He can't hear anything.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Hey, marley!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
See? Now, tell me what you need to tell me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
[game sounds continue] [bag rustles]
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Okay. You know what? This can wait.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Jesus. You're such a [bleep] coward.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What are you talking about?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I was outside your window last night
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
When you were talking to karma.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
After everything i've been through with my ex,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
How could you not tell me you're into guys?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Because i'm not sure i am. I only slept with one.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Oh, yeah, and he just happened to be
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
The boyfriend of your best friend,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
The same best friend you kept secret from me
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Because you're in love with her,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And supposedly, you're over that.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
- I am. - And i'm supposed to
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Believe you? After all these lies?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
- Karma's not a lesbian. - Neither are you!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I am!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
[explosion on tv]
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And you're just realizing this now?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Part of questioning your sexuality
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Is eventually getting the answer,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And survey says: Lesbian.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Prove it.
[pop music]
Prove it.
♪ ♪
Prove it.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
♪ to tell me who to be ♪
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
♪ ready to...♪
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
It's so sweet of you to walk me to school.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Yeah, except i've been here ten minutes,
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
And we haven't left your room.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Maybe i should just call in sick.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
[chime] tempting, but i've gotta train.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
My first fight's next week.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
You've been training so much lately.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I've barely seen you.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Except on stubbl.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Hey, i've seen you on there a lot too.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I mean, not that i care, because you've always said,
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
You know, monogamy's for straight people, right?
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I have always said that.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
And you're fresh out of the closet.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I don't want to keep you
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
From checking out all the other rooms in the house.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
So...I guess we're agreed.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
We're now officially in an open relationship.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Do they make a greeting card for that?
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
If not, they totally should.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
[both laughing]
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
You told her you were a lesbian.
I'm a girl in a monogamous relationship with another girl.
You told her you were a lesbian.
What else would you call me?
You told her you were a lesbian.
Uh, i'm gonna go with amy.
You told her you were a lesbian.
What about the fact
You told her you were a lesbian.
That you're sometimes attracted to guys?
You told her you were a lesbian.
That hasn't happened in ages.
You told her you were a lesbian.
I think it's all cleared up.
You told her you were a lesbian.
- Amy, it's not a rash. - Can we focus
You told her you were a lesbian.
On what's important here?
You told her you were a lesbian.
College. Our dream of going to cu together
You told her you were a lesbian.
Is never gonna come true unless we do something this summer
You told her you were a lesbian.
That they find... "impressive."
You told her you were a lesbian.
The big question is...
You told her you were a lesbian.
What?
You told her you were a lesbian.
Why don't we just ask her?
You told her you were a lesbian.
Hello, ladies.
You told her you were a lesbian.
Can i tell you a little bit about us?
You told her you were a lesbian.
No need, no need--we both knew we wanted to go to clement
You told her you were a lesbian.
Ever since we were old enough to know what college was.
You told her you were a lesbian.
Not too big, not too small.
You told her you were a lesbian.
World-class media documentary program...
You told her you were a lesbian.
And it looks just like that school from greek,
You told her you were a lesbian.
And i love that show.
You told her you were a lesbian.
Well, you two should definitely consider
You told her you were a lesbian.
Our summer scholars program.
You told her you were a lesbian.
You can audit classes, live in the dorms...
You told her you were a lesbian.
[soft laughter]
You told her you were a lesbian.
Oh, um...
How much does it cost?
Oh, um...
There's no cost to the student.
Oh, um...
At cu we want to find the best and the brightest,
Oh, um...
And this is how we find them.
Oh, um...
- Sign us up! - Yeah.
Oh, um...
Well, there is an application process.
Oh, um...
And the deadline is soon.
Oh, um...
Oh, right. Of course.
Oh, um...
Just curious...
Oh, um...
How many spots are there?
Oh, um...
- 30. - Oh! For how many applicants?
Oh, um...
3,612.
Oh, um...
Those were last year's numbers.
Oh, um...
- Hi. I'm lauren cooper. - Oh! Hello.
Oh, um...
I know you'll be meeting hundreds of students today,
Oh, um...
And i want to be the one you'll remember.
Oh, um...
Here's my card. It lists a smidge of who i am.
Oh, um...
Sophomore class president, ballroom dancing champion,
Oh, um...
- Social chair. - "friend to the elderly"?
Oh, um...
I go every sunday.
Oh, um...
They're helping me as much as i'm helping them.
Oh, um...
Mother[bleep]!
Oh, um...
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
After you guys outed me,
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
They wanted to send me to another school,
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
So i requested a transfer.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
I don't want to lie to people for a living.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
Big whoop, what do you want, a nobel peace prize?
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
Why the hell are you here?
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
The chief's not happy about my decision,
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
So he transferred me to hester.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
[bleep] you, narc.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
'sup, brad?
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
But maybe this'll give me a chance to make things right.
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
I want you back.
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
The fact that you even think you have a chance
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
Shows you have no clue how deeply you hurt me.
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
Just stay the hell away!
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
[school bell rings]
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
What are you doing this summer?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
- Jackson? Why are you-- - here?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Just swinging through with an answer to that question.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
- Pow! - "southwest artist collective"?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Yeah, i run it with a bunch of artist friends of mine.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
But i gotta warn ya--we got no idea what we're doing.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
But we still got an eye for talent.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Every student we've hosted
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Has been accepted to the art school of their choice.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And i think you'd be a shoo-in.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
But, uh, but why me? I mean,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
You didn't really like my piece,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And i already rejected you once.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Well, let's just say you remind me
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
A lot of myself when i was your age.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Except with far superior skin.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
- [chuckles] - so, what do you say?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I really wish i could, but i can't.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Ouch. That's twice, booker.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Third time's a charm.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Think about it.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Um...Care to explain?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
That's jackson lee, the artist
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Who offered me that fellowship.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Now wants me to apply to his summer program.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Well, looks like someone found himself a sugar daddy!
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
[laughs]
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Oh, my god.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Shane, shane, i think he might be my dad!
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Okay. Extracurricular activities.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
We were homecoming queens.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Yeah. That'll really wow 'em.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
At least you have straight as.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I got a b- in yarn arts.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
What have i been doing with my life?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Chasing boys and the approval of others.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Hate to rain on your parade.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Speaking of parade, what's up with the twirling?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Did you not hear that f bomb i dropped on that clement rep?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I wanted to make a strong impression, but...
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Not like that.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Oh, yeah. What did theo say?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Not talking about it.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I'm focusing on my future.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Tomorrow, i will make a lasting second impression
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Via my lifelong passion for baton.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
You don't have a lifelong passion for baton.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Uh, yeah, amy, i do.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I know that schools look for students with passions,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And applying to college is a cutthroat process,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
As your... Blank applications
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Clearly show you're realizing.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And unfortunately, you two can't just fake it.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Bye!
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Why not?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Well, we are really good at it.
Hello, clement university!
I'm karma.
Hello, clement university!
And i'm amy.
Hello, clement university!
We're passionate about nutrition!
Hello, clement university!
So passionate, we turned amy's backyard
Hello, clement university!
Into an organic garden.
Hello, clement university!
Where we grew... All of this.
Hello, clement university!
Apparently, we have green thumbs!
Hello, clement university!
And soon, we were growing more than we could ever eat.
Hello, clement university!
So we started juicing.
Hello, clement university!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Delicious!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Our friends thought so too,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
And their friends... And their friends!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
But we couldn't charge them for it.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
It didn't feel right.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
So our friends started a kickstarter campaign
- Mmm! - Mmm!
And got us this juice truck.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Hashtag blessed!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
We just wanna help people live healthier lives.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
You can't be serious.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
[scoffs] okay, look, felix,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
We don't need a lecture on honesty.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
We just need to know if it's believable or not.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Nope. Not even a little bit.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Oh...
- Mmm! - Mmm!
And meryl streep here
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Isn't really doing you any favors.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Wha--hey!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
I'm a good actor!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
I beg to differ.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Well,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
I made you believe i was attracted to you.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Well, you obviously weren't acting,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
'cause you can't.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Okay. Now your lips are just flapping.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
- You can go now. - This is my room.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Felix, just give us a moment.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Are you attracted to felix?
Eew! No. Gross.
Are you attracted to felix?
But you heard him.
Are you attracted to felix?
We're never gonna in the clement summer program
Are you attracted to felix?
With this. We need a plan b.
Are you attracted to felix?
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
There might be some proof in here that they knew each other.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Just for the record,
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
I think you're jumping to conclusions,
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
And i'm worried you're gonna end up disappointed.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
I'm just helping because i need to distract myself
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
From the fact that duke is supposed to be training.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
But instead, he's logged on to stubbl!
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Why can't you just tell him
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
You don't want an open relationship?
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Because i don't know
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
If i can do monogamy.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Holy [bleep].
Grr! Young jackson lee was cute.
Holy [bleep].
And that's robin in the same picture.
Holy [bleep].
That's proof! Shane--he's my dad!
Holy [bleep].
I don't know.
Holy [bleep].
I've been in plenty of pictures with people
Holy [bleep].
- I haven't impregnated. - No, it all makes
Holy [bleep].
So much sense now!
Holy [bleep].
Being an artist is in my blood,
Holy [bleep].
And now my dad has come back
Holy [bleep].
To build some kind of relationship with me.
Holy [bleep].
I've dreamt about this moment.
Holy [bleep].
- Liam... - Shh!
Holy [bleep].
When i dreamt about it,
Holy [bleep].
There was no talking.
Holy [bleep].
[squealing]
Holy [bleep].
[laughing]
Holy [bleep].
What?
Holy [bleep].
I just got some amazing news.
Holy [bleep].
Remember that punk band i opened for last month?
Holy [bleep].
Oh, pussy explosion?
Holy [bleep].
They're going on tour this summer,
Holy [bleep].
And they want me to come with!
Holy [bleep].
No way! That's so cool!
Holy [bleep].
You know what'd be even cooler?
Holy [bleep].
If you came with me.
Holy [bleep].
- Me? - The bass player
Holy [bleep].
Just dumped her girlfriend. There's room in the van!
Holy [bleep].
Uh, that sounds amazing.
Holy [bleep].
[sighs] but i can't.
Holy [bleep].
I've gotta spend my summer
Holy [bleep].
Doing something that'll look good on my college application.
Holy [bleep].
Look, you say you want to be a film major
Holy [bleep].
To make documentaries. Why wait?
Holy [bleep].
Make one this summer! Shoot the tour!
Holy [bleep].
Think about it. We'll stay out all night,
Holy [bleep].
Stay in bed all day.
Holy [bleep].
Live on doughnuts.
Holy [bleep].
I do love doughnuts.
Holy [bleep].
[phone buzzing]
[sighs] but karma's--
[phone buzzing]
Seriously, amy, you say you want a future with me,
[phone buzzing]
But you keep planning one with her.
[phone buzzing]
Hey, can we talk?
[phone buzzing]
Now's really not a good time.
[phone buzzing]
Amy, i'm really worried about--
[phone buzzing]
That summer program?
[phone buzzing]
Uh...
[phone buzzing]
I-i say let's just forget about it.
[phone buzzing]
It's not worth the stress.
[phone buzzing]
What? W--amy--
[phone buzzing]
You always said you wanted to be a lifeguard.
[phone buzzing]
Maybe you should just do that.
[phone buzzing]
But you refuse to get a job that requires a bathing suit.
[phone buzzing]
And i stick to that statement.
[phone buzzing]
But reagan is going on tour this summer,
[phone buzzing]
And she invited me to come, so...
[phone buzzing]
Maybe i'll just do that.
[phone buzzing]
[karma laughs] what--you're kidding, right?
[phone buzzing]
What about getting into clement?
[phone buzzing]
Um...Maybe college
[phone buzzing]
Just...Isn't my thing.
[phone buzzing]
I gotta--i gotta go.
[phone buzzing]
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
[phone buzzing]
[click] wha--
[phone buzzing]
Amy!
[phone buzzing]
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Oh, y-you do.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
- Yeah. - This isn't how i planned it.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I wanted to get to know you better
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Before i said anything.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You're not, uh... You're not mad?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
No! Why would i be mad? No, i'm excited!
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Great. Okay. Then so am i.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I just wish we'd met sooner.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Wait, wait--are you saying it's too late?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
We'll make the most of the time we have now.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Okay, s-so you'll introduce me to your dad?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
What?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
No, no. You're my dad.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
What? No.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Wait, wait, who's your mom?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
- Robin booker. - No, no, no.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I'm definitely not your dad.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Then...Why were you talking about,
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You know, getting to know me?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I heard your family's commissioning a mural
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
At the new skwerkelplex in sao paolo,
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
And i thought that if i was your mentor,
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You'd put in a good word.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You don't care if i'm an artist at all.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Look, sorry, kid, but...
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Use it in your art.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I'm passionate, determined,
Willing to take risks.
I'm passionate, determined,
(crowd) oh! - [gasps]
I'm so sorry.
May i begin again?
No...[stammers] that won't be necessary.
May i begin again?
I can already tell that you're right for the program.
May i begin again?
You can?
May i begin again?
Was it my "refuse to give up" attitude?
May i begin again?
Actually, it's come to my attention
May i begin again?
That you are hester's first out intersex student.
May i begin again?
And we value that kind of diversity at clement.
May i begin again?
Now, i can't promise anything,
May i begin again?
But i would be very surprised
May i begin again?
If you didn't win a spot this summer.
May i begin again?
Because of my body?
No! No, because of your...
Because of my body?
Uniqueness.
Because of my body?
Well, then i withdraw my application.
Because of my body?
If you'll excuse me.
Because of my body?
You have to watch this video.
[sighs] you made another one? So you're still applying?
You have to watch this video.
Just watch.
You have to watch this video.
[both giggling]
Then the two princesses have tea.
No, karma, this is college.
Then the two princesses have tea.
They're reading books underneath the tree.
Then the two princesses have tea.
But what about the prince?
Then the two princesses have tea.
He's the professor.
Then the two princesses have tea.
[as professor] here's your diploma.
Then the two princesses have tea.
[girls giggling]
Then the two princesses have tea.
I know what you're doing.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Good. I was afraid i was being too subtle.
Then the two princesses have tea.
But that was over a million years ago.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Amy...You wanted this yesterday.
Then the two princesses have tea.
And you're gonna ditch college because what--
Then the two princesses have tea.
Because reagan asked you to?
Then the two princesses have tea.
Of course not. But she didn't go to college,
Then the two princesses have tea.
And she's doing fine.
Then the two princesses have tea.
She's also a lesbian,
Then the two princesses have tea.
Something we both know you're not.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Well, tell it to my wardrobe.
Then the two princesses have tea.
I saw the way you blushed around felix.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Not again with that.
Then the two princesses have tea.
I'm not into felix.
Then the two princesses have tea.
And why are you so against me being a lesbian?
Then the two princesses have tea.
I'm not!
Then the two princesses have tea.
I'm against you changing who you are
Then the two princesses have tea.
To make someone else happy.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Amy, the one thing you've always said is
Then the two princesses have tea.
That you can't wait to get to college.
Then the two princesses have tea.
You're just upset that i'm not gonna be here this summer.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Yeah. I'll admit.
Then the two princesses have tea.
I wanna spend the summer together,
Then the two princesses have tea.
Doing things to get us into clement.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Reagan wants you to go on tour with her.
Then the two princesses have tea.
What do you want?
Then the two princesses have tea.
I don't want to lose her.
Well, you can't lose yourself to keep her.
I got your text--
Why do you like me?
I got your text--
[laughs] what?
I got your text--
You claim your feelings for me are real.
I got your text--
You say you want me back. Tell me why.
I got your text--
And don't you dare say it's because i'm pretty.
I got your text--
Though that can be one of your reasons.
I got your text--
You're gorgeous.
I got your text--
You're also a tenacious badass.
I got your text--
You know what you want, and you won't stop until you get it.
I got your text--
You've been through some [bleep],
I got your text--
But you refuse to see yourself as a victim.
I got your text--
Okay. What else?
Keep 'em coming.
Okay. What else?
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
That you're gonna love.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
- Reagan... - And then we drive to amarillo.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
Wait until you see cadillac ranch.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
Reagan, i can't go on the road with you this summer.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
Let me guess--karma talked you out of it?
No. She just reminded me of who i am.
Let me guess--karma talked you out of it?
And who is that, exactly?
Let me guess--karma talked you out of it?
A sexually confused girl who...
Wants to go to college.
A sexually confused girl who...
So you're not a lesbian either.
I don't know.
So you're not a lesbian either.
The best answer i can give you is maybe.
So you're not a lesbian either.
I'm sorry i don't have everything figured out
So you're not a lesbian either.
- Like you do. - Ha. Hardly.
So you're not a lesbian either.
I don't have everything figured out,
Like...
I don't have everything figured out,
I have no idea how i'm gonna get over you.
I don't have everything figured out,
[sniffles] um...
Does this have to be the end?
[sniffles] um...
We're just in different places, amy...
[sniffles] um...
As much as i wish we weren't.
[sniffles] um...
Me too.
Can i have one last kiss?
♪ won't you free my love ♪
♪ only for a moment ♪
♪ ♪
♪ only for a moment ♪
Hey, you're frisky.
And here i thought you'd be exhausted.
Hey, you're frisky.
I mean, how many duke groupies did you get sweaty with tonight?
Hey, you're frisky.
Just a few... The normal amount.
Hey, you're frisky.
Wait, duke, hold on!
I can't stand the thought of you hooking up
Wait, duke, hold on!
With other people behind our dumpster.
Wait, duke, hold on!
I only agreed to that
Wait, duke, hold on!
Because i thought that's what you wanted.
Wait, duke, hold on!
- Really? - I haven't even hooked up
Wait, duke, hold on!
With anyone else since we got back together.
Wait, duke, hold on!
Then why are you always on stubbl?
Wait, duke, hold on!
[laughs] to see if you are.
Wait, duke, hold on!
Shut up! Me too.
Wait, duke, hold on!
Shane...
When i got outed and lost my sponsorship,
Shane...
It was the worst day of my life.
Shane...
You were the only one there for me.
Shane...
I love you.
Shane...
I'm not going anywhere.
Shane...
I love you too.
♪ free my love ♪
I love you too.
♪ only for a moment ♪
I love you too.
♪ only for a moment ♪
I love you too.
I just can't believe it's over.
I love you too.
For now.
I love you too.
But you know, maybe someday soon,
I love you too.
You'll be in that place
I love you too.
And she'll be in that place and...
I love you too.
It'll finally be right.
I love you too.
I hope so.
I love you too.
[sniffles]
I love you too.
Will you stay over tonight?
Yeah, of course.
Were you gonna get waxy with liam?
You're more important.
Were you gonna get waxy with liam?
Next on faking it...
I've got my first fight
Next on faking it...
Tonight in los angeles.
Next on faking it...
We can watch the fight on tv.
Next on faking it...
We can take my family jet.
Next on faking it...
Hey, did you see where karma went?
Next on faking it...
My boyfriend has a big, fancy publicist.
Next on faking it...
I'm not impressive enough?
Next on faking it...
You're in high school.
Next on faking it...
(lauren) do you really expect
Next on faking it...
To find anything in there?
Next on faking it...
Somebody is having an affair!
Next on faking it...
- It's time for a stakeout. - Whose car is it?
Next on faking it...
How do i even begin? I'm sometimes
You have to tell her the truth.
Attracted to guys, and i once slept with liam.
You have to tell her the truth.
All these private sessions are starting to pay off.
You have to tell her the truth.
I've seen duke's abs all over stubbl.
You have to tell her the truth.
The gay hookup app.
You have to tell her the truth.
Robin, my sister, is really my mother,
You have to tell her the truth.
And those two, my grandparents,
You have to tell her the truth.
They raised me as their son.
You have to tell her the truth.
Why don't you just go to his new school
You have to tell her the truth.
- And out him as a narc? - He isn't who he says he is.
You have to tell her the truth.
- He's a narc! - Narc!
You have to tell her the truth.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Only at hester would we waste a p.E. Unit
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
On [bleep] tai chi.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Damn it! Duke's on stubbl again.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Well, you're on stubbl.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But only to see if he is.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Which he is-- for the fourth time today.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Shane harvey--sounds like you wanna be monogamous.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What? Eew, no! Gross.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
We're gay. I just want him
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
To only be gay for me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What are we--
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Hey. Sneak out friday night.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And bring handcuffs.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Yes, ma'am.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Anything specific you'd like me to wear?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Uh...Whatever you want.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But i might get hot wax on it.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
[whispers] eew!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
You sure you two aren't back together?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
We just...Have a thing.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
No commitment, no labels,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
No hurt feelings.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Speaking of-- how'd your conversation
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
With reagan go last night?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
She texted and said she couldn't make it.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But don't worry--i'm gonna head over there after school,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And i'm gonna tell her everything.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I'm just afraid she's gonna break up with me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Just be honest. Maybe she'll understand.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
But...To be safe, if she gives you anything to drink,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Don't take it.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
So you said you had something to tell me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What is it?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Okay. Wow.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Uh...All right, let's just get right into it, shall we?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Well, you see-- [game sounds on tv]
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Can we go somewhere a little more private?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I have five roommates. There is nowhere private.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Don't worry. He can't hear anything.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Hey, marley!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
See? Now, tell me what you need to tell me.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
[game sounds continue] [bag rustles]
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Okay. You know what? This can wait.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Jesus. You're such a [bleep] coward.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
What are you talking about?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I was outside your window last night
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
When you were talking to karma.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
After everything i've been through with my ex,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
How could you not tell me you're into guys?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Because i'm not sure i am. I only slept with one.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Oh, yeah, and he just happened to be
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
The boyfriend of your best friend,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
The same best friend you kept secret from me
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Because you're in love with her,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And supposedly, you're over that.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
- I am. - And i'm supposed to
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Believe you? After all these lies?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
- Karma's not a lesbian. - Neither are you!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
I am!
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
[explosion on tv]
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And you're just realizing this now?
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Part of questioning your sexuality
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Is eventually getting the answer,
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
And survey says: Lesbian.
As you breathe in, really connect with the earth.
Prove it.
[pop music]
Prove it.
♪ ♪
Prove it.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
♪ to tell me who to be ♪
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
♪ ready to...♪
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
It's so sweet of you to walk me to school.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Yeah, except i've been here ten minutes,
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
And we haven't left your room.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Maybe i should just call in sick.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
[chime] tempting, but i've gotta train.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
My first fight's next week.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
You've been training so much lately.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I've barely seen you.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Except on stubbl.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Hey, i've seen you on there a lot too.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I mean, not that i care, because you've always said,
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
You know, monogamy's for straight people, right?
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I have always said that.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
And you're fresh out of the closet.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
I don't want to keep you
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
From checking out all the other rooms in the house.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
So...I guess we're agreed.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
We're now officially in an open relationship.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
Do they make a greeting card for that?
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
If not, they totally should.
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
[both laughing]
♪ i don't need nobody ♪
You told her you were a lesbian.
I'm a girl in a monogamous relationship with another girl.
You told her you were a lesbian.
What else would you call me?
You told her you were a lesbian.
Uh, i'm gonna go with amy.
You told her you were a lesbian.
What about the fact
You told her you were a lesbian.
That you're sometimes attracted to guys?
You told her you were a lesbian.
That hasn't happened in ages.
You told her you were a lesbian.
I think it's all cleared up.
You told her you were a lesbian.
- Amy, it's not a rash. - Can we focus
You told her you were a lesbian.
On what's important here?
You told her you were a lesbian.
College. Our dream of going to cu together
You told her you were a lesbian.
Is never gonna come true unless we do something this summer
You told her you were a lesbian.
That they find... "impressive."
You told her you were a lesbian.
The big question is...
You told her you were a lesbian.
What?
You told her you were a lesbian.
Why don't we just ask her?
You told her you were a lesbian.
Hello, ladies.
You told her you were a lesbian.
Can i tell you a little bit about us?
You told her you were a lesbian.
No need, no need--we both knew we wanted to go to clement
You told her you were a lesbian.
Ever since we were old enough to know what college was.
You told her you were a lesbian.
Not too big, not too small.
You told her you were a lesbian.
World-class media documentary program...
You told her you were a lesbian.
And it looks just like that school from greek,
You told her you were a lesbian.
And i love that show.
You told her you were a lesbian.
Well, you two should definitely consider
You told her you were a lesbian.
Our summer scholars program.
You told her you were a lesbian.
You can audit classes, live in the dorms...
You told her you were a lesbian.
[soft laughter]
You told her you were a lesbian.
Oh, um...
How much does it cost?
Oh, um...
There's no cost to the student.
Oh, um...
At cu we want to find the best and the brightest,
Oh, um...
And this is how we find them.
Oh, um...
- Sign us up! - Yeah.
Oh, um...
Well, there is an application process.
Oh, um...
And the deadline is soon.
Oh, um...
Oh, right. Of course.
Oh, um...
Just curious...
Oh, um...
How many spots are there?
Oh, um...
- 30. - Oh! For how many applicants?
Oh, um...
3,612.
Oh, um...
Those were last year's numbers.
Oh, um...
- Hi. I'm lauren cooper. - Oh! Hello.
Oh, um...
I know you'll be meeting hundreds of students today,
Oh, um...
And i want to be the one you'll remember.
Oh, um...
Here's my card. It lists a smidge of who i am.
Oh, um...
Sophomore class president, ballroom dancing champion,
Oh, um...
- Social chair. - "friend to the elderly"?
Oh, um...
I go every sunday.
Oh, um...
They're helping me as much as i'm helping them.
Oh, um...
Mother[bleep]!
Oh, um...
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
After you guys outed me,
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
They wanted to send me to another school,
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
So i requested a transfer.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
I don't want to lie to people for a living.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
Big whoop, what do you want, a nobel peace prize?
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
Why the hell are you here?
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
The chief's not happy about my decision,
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
So he transferred me to hester.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
[bleep] you, narc.
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
'sup, brad?
- Lauren, let me explain. - Is this some sort of joke?
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
But maybe this'll give me a chance to make things right.
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
I want you back.
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
The fact that you even think you have a chance
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
Shows you have no clue how deeply you hurt me.
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
Just stay the hell away!
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
[school bell rings]
Look, i know you're not ready to forgive me yet,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
What are you doing this summer?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
- Jackson? Why are you-- - here?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Just swinging through with an answer to that question.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
- Pow! - "southwest artist collective"?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Yeah, i run it with a bunch of artist friends of mine.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
But i gotta warn ya--we got no idea what we're doing.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
But we still got an eye for talent.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Every student we've hosted
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Has been accepted to the art school of their choice.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And i think you'd be a shoo-in.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
But, uh, but why me? I mean,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
You didn't really like my piece,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And i already rejected you once.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Well, let's just say you remind me
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
A lot of myself when i was your age.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Except with far superior skin.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
- [chuckles] - so, what do you say?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I really wish i could, but i can't.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Ouch. That's twice, booker.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Third time's a charm.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Think about it.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Um...Care to explain?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
That's jackson lee, the artist
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Who offered me that fellowship.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Now wants me to apply to his summer program.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Well, looks like someone found himself a sugar daddy!
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
[laughs]
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Oh, my god.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Shane, shane, i think he might be my dad!
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Okay. Extracurricular activities.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
We were homecoming queens.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Yeah. That'll really wow 'em.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
At least you have straight as.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I got a b- in yarn arts.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
What have i been doing with my life?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Chasing boys and the approval of others.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Hate to rain on your parade.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Speaking of parade, what's up with the twirling?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Did you not hear that f bomb i dropped on that clement rep?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I wanted to make a strong impression, but...
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Not like that.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Oh, yeah. What did theo say?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Not talking about it.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I'm focusing on my future.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Tomorrow, i will make a lasting second impression
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Via my lifelong passion for baton.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
You don't have a lifelong passion for baton.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Uh, yeah, amy, i do.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
I know that schools look for students with passions,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And applying to college is a cutthroat process,
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
As your... Blank applications
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Clearly show you're realizing.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
And unfortunately, you two can't just fake it.
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Bye!
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Why not?
Hey, buddy. Quick question.
Well, we are really good at it.
Hello, clement university!
I'm karma.
Hello, clement university!
And i'm amy.
Hello, clement university!
We're passionate about nutrition!
Hello, clement university!
So passionate, we turned amy's backyard
Hello, clement university!
Into an organic garden.
Hello, clement university!
Where we grew... All of this.
Hello, clement university!
Apparently, we have green thumbs!
Hello, clement university!
And soon, we were growing more than we could ever eat.
Hello, clement university!
So we started juicing.
Hello, clement university!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Delicious!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Our friends thought so too,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
And their friends... And their friends!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
But we couldn't charge them for it.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
It didn't feel right.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
So our friends started a kickstarter campaign
- Mmm! - Mmm!
And got us this juice truck.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Hashtag blessed!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
We just wanna help people live healthier lives.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
You can't be serious.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
[scoffs] okay, look, felix,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
We don't need a lecture on honesty.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
We just need to know if it's believable or not.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Nope. Not even a little bit.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Oh...
- Mmm! - Mmm!
And meryl streep here
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Isn't really doing you any favors.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Wha--hey!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
I'm a good actor!
- Mmm! - Mmm!
I beg to differ.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Well,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
I made you believe i was attracted to you.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Well, you obviously weren't acting,
- Mmm! - Mmm!
'cause you can't.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Okay. Now your lips are just flapping.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
- You can go now. - This is my room.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Felix, just give us a moment.
- Mmm! - Mmm!
Are you attracted to felix?
Eew! No. Gross.
Are you attracted to felix?
But you heard him.
Are you attracted to felix?
We're never gonna in the clement summer program
Are you attracted to felix?
With this. We need a plan b.
Are you attracted to felix?
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
There might be some proof in here that they knew each other.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Just for the record,
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
I think you're jumping to conclusions,
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
And i'm worried you're gonna end up disappointed.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
I'm just helping because i need to distract myself
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
From the fact that duke is supposed to be training.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
But instead, he's logged on to stubbl!
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Why can't you just tell him
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
You don't want an open relationship?
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Because i don't know
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
If i can do monogamy.
So she was a freshman when jackson was a senior.
Holy [bleep].
Grr! Young jackson lee was cute.
Holy [bleep].
And that's robin in the same picture.
Holy [bleep].
That's proof! Shane--he's my dad!
Holy [bleep].
I don't know.
Holy [bleep].
I've been in plenty of pictures with people
Holy [bleep].
- I haven't impregnated. - No, it all makes
Holy [bleep].
So much sense now!
Holy [bleep].
Being an artist is in my blood,
Holy [bleep].
And now my dad has come back
Holy [bleep].
To build some kind of relationship with me.
Holy [bleep].
I've dreamt about this moment.
Holy [bleep].
- Liam... - Shh!
Holy [bleep].
When i dreamt about it,
Holy [bleep].
There was no talking.
Holy [bleep].
[squealing]
Holy [bleep].
[laughing]
Holy [bleep].
What?
Holy [bleep].
I just got some amazing news.
Holy [bleep].
Remember that punk band i opened for last month?
Holy [bleep].
Oh, pussy explosion?
Holy [bleep].
They're going on tour this summer,
Holy [bleep].
And they want me to come with!
Holy [bleep].
No way! That's so cool!
Holy [bleep].
You know what'd be even cooler?
Holy [bleep].
If you came with me.
Holy [bleep].
- Me? - The bass player
Holy [bleep].
Just dumped her girlfriend. There's room in the van!
Holy [bleep].
Uh, that sounds amazing.
Holy [bleep].
[sighs] but i can't.
Holy [bleep].
I've gotta spend my summer
Holy [bleep].
Doing something that'll look good on my college application.
Holy [bleep].
Look, you say you want to be a film major
Holy [bleep].
To make documentaries. Why wait?
Holy [bleep].
Make one this summer! Shoot the tour!
Holy [bleep].
Think about it. We'll stay out all night,
Holy [bleep].
Stay in bed all day.
Holy [bleep].
Live on doughnuts.
Holy [bleep].
I do love doughnuts.
Holy [bleep].
[phone buzzing]
[sighs] but karma's--
[phone buzzing]
Seriously, amy, you say you want a future with me,
[phone buzzing]
But you keep planning one with her.
[phone buzzing]
Hey, can we talk?
[phone buzzing]
Now's really not a good time.
[phone buzzing]
Amy, i'm really worried about--
[phone buzzing]
That summer program?
[phone buzzing]
Uh...
[phone buzzing]
I-i say let's just forget about it.
[phone buzzing]
It's not worth the stress.
[phone buzzing]
What? W--amy--
[phone buzzing]
You always said you wanted to be a lifeguard.
[phone buzzing]
Maybe you should just do that.
[phone buzzing]
But you refuse to get a job that requires a bathing suit.
[phone buzzing]
And i stick to that statement.
[phone buzzing]
But reagan is going on tour this summer,
[phone buzzing]
And she invited me to come, so...
[phone buzzing]
Maybe i'll just do that.
[phone buzzing]
[karma laughs] what--you're kidding, right?
[phone buzzing]
What about getting into clement?
[phone buzzing]
Um...Maybe college
[phone buzzing]
Just...Isn't my thing.
[phone buzzing]
I gotta--i gotta go.
[phone buzzing]
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
[phone buzzing]
[click] wha--
[phone buzzing]
Amy!
[phone buzzing]
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Oh, y-you do.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
- Yeah. - This isn't how i planned it.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I wanted to get to know you better
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Before i said anything.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You're not, uh... You're not mad?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
No! Why would i be mad? No, i'm excited!
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Great. Okay. Then so am i.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I just wish we'd met sooner.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Wait, wait--are you saying it's too late?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
We'll make the most of the time we have now.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Okay, s-so you'll introduce me to your dad?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
What?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
No, no. You're my dad.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
What? No.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Wait, wait, who's your mom?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
- Robin booker. - No, no, no.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I'm definitely not your dad.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Then...Why were you talking about,
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You know, getting to know me?
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I heard your family's commissioning a mural
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
At the new skwerkelplex in sao paolo,
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
And i thought that if i was your mentor,
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You'd put in a good word.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
You don't care if i'm an artist at all.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Look, sorry, kid, but...
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
Use it in your art.
Look...I know why you're trying to help me out.
I'm passionate, determined,
Willing to take risks.
I'm passionate, determined,
(crowd) oh! - [gasps]
I'm so sorry.
May i begin again?
No...[stammers] that won't be necessary.
May i begin again?
I can already tell that you're right for the program.
May i begin again?
You can?
May i begin again?
Was it my "refuse to give up" attitude?
May i begin again?
Actually, it's come to my attention
May i begin again?
That you are hester's first out intersex student.
May i begin again?
And we value that kind of diversity at clement.
May i begin again?
Now, i can't promise anything,
May i begin again?
But i would be very surprised
May i begin again?
If you didn't win a spot this summer.
May i begin again?
Because of my body?
No! No, because of your...
Because of my body?
Uniqueness.
Because of my body?
Well, then i withdraw my application.
Because of my body?
If you'll excuse me.
Because of my body?
You have to watch this video.
[sighs] you made another one? So you're still applying?
You have to watch this video.
Just watch.
You have to watch this video.
[both giggling]
Then the two princesses have tea.
No, karma, this is college.
Then the two princesses have tea.
They're reading books underneath the tree.
Then the two princesses have tea.
But what about the prince?
Then the two princesses have tea.
He's the professor.
Then the two princesses have tea.
[as professor] here's your diploma.
Then the two princesses have tea.
[girls giggling]
Then the two princesses have tea.
I know what you're doing.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Good. I was afraid i was being too subtle.
Then the two princesses have tea.
But that was over a million years ago.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Amy...You wanted this yesterday.
Then the two princesses have tea.
And you're gonna ditch college because what--
Then the two princesses have tea.
Because reagan asked you to?
Then the two princesses have tea.
Of course not. But she didn't go to college,
Then the two princesses have tea.
And she's doing fine.
Then the two princesses have tea.
She's also a lesbian,
Then the two princesses have tea.
Something we both know you're not.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Well, tell it to my wardrobe.
Then the two princesses have tea.
I saw the way you blushed around felix.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Not again with that.
Then the two princesses have tea.
I'm not into felix.
Then the two princesses have tea.
And why are you so against me being a lesbian?
Then the two princesses have tea.
I'm not!
Then the two princesses have tea.
I'm against you changing who you are
Then the two princesses have tea.
To make someone else happy.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Amy, the one thing you've always said is
Then the two princesses have tea.
That you can't wait to get to college.
Then the two princesses have tea.
You're just upset that i'm not gonna be here this summer.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Yeah. I'll admit.
Then the two princesses have tea.
I wanna spend the summer together,
Then the two princesses have tea.
Doing things to get us into clement.
Then the two princesses have tea.
Reagan wants you to go on tour with her.
Then the two princesses have tea.
What do you want?
Then the two princesses have tea.
I don't want to lose her.
Well, you can't lose yourself to keep her.
I got your text--
Why do you like me?
I got your text--
[laughs] what?
I got your text--
You claim your feelings for me are real.
I got your text--
You say you want me back. Tell me why.
I got your text--
And don't you dare say it's because i'm pretty.
I got your text--
Though that can be one of your reasons.
I got your text--
You're gorgeous.
I got your text--
You're also a tenacious badass.
I got your text--
You know what you want, and you won't stop until you get it.
I got your text--
You've been through some [bleep],
I got your text--
But you refuse to see yourself as a victim.
I got your text--
Okay. What else?
Keep 'em coming.
Okay. What else?
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
That you're gonna love.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
- Reagan... - And then we drive to amarillo.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
Wait until you see cadillac ranch.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
Reagan, i can't go on the road with you this summer.
Our first stop is dallas. There's this barbecue joint
Let me guess--karma talked you out of it?
No. She just reminded me of who i am.
Let me guess--karma talked you out of it?
And who is that, exactly?
Let me guess--karma talked you out of it?
A sexually confused girl who...
Wants to go to college.
A sexually confused girl who...
So you're not a lesbian either.
I don't know.
So you're not a lesbian either.
The best answer i can give you is maybe.
So you're not a lesbian either.
I'm sorry i don't have everything figured out
So you're not a lesbian either.
- Like you do. - Ha. Hardly.
So you're not a lesbian either.
I don't have everything figured out,
Like...
I don't have everything figured out,
I have no idea how i'm gonna get over you.
I don't have everything figured out,
[sniffles] um...
Does this have to be the end?
[sniffles] um...
We're just in different places, amy...
[sniffles] um...
As much as i wish we weren't.
[sniffles] um...
Me too.
Can i have one last kiss?
♪ won't you free my love ♪
♪ only for a moment ♪
♪ ♪
♪ only for a moment ♪
Hey, you're frisky.
And here i thought you'd be exhausted.
Hey, you're frisky.
I mean, how many duke groupies did you get sweaty with tonight?
Hey, you're frisky.
Just a few... The normal amount.
Hey, you're frisky.
Wait, duke, hold on!
I can't stand the thought of you hooking up
Wait, duke, hold on!
With other people behind our dumpster.
Wait, duke, hold on!
I only agreed to that
Wait, duke, hold on!
Because i thought that's what you wanted.
Wait, duke, hold on!
- Really? - I haven't even hooked up
Wait, duke, hold on!
With anyone else since we got back together.
Wait, duke, hold on!
Then why are you always on stubbl?
Wait, duke, hold on!
[laughs] to see if you are.
Wait, duke, hold on!
Shut up! Me too.
Wait, duke, hold on!
Shane...
When i got outed and lost my sponsorship,
Shane...
It was the worst day of my life.
Shane...
You were the only one there for me.
Shane...
I love you.
Shane...
I'm not going anywhere.
Shane...
I love you too.
♪ free my love ♪
I love you too.
♪ only for a moment ♪
I love you too.
♪ only for a moment ♪
I love you too.
I just can't believe it's over.
I love you too.
For now.
I love you too.
But you know, maybe someday soon,
I love you too.
You'll be in that place
I love you too.
And she'll be in that place and...
I love you too.
It'll finally be right.
I love you too.
I hope so.
I love you too.
[sniffles]
I love you too.
Will you stay over tonight?
Yeah, of course.
Were you gonna get waxy with liam?
You're more important.
Were you gonna get waxy with liam?
Next on faking it...
I've got my first fight
Next on faking it...
Tonight in los angeles.
Next on faking it...
We can watch the fight on tv.
Next on faking it...
We can take my family jet.
Next on faking it...
Hey, did you see where karma went?
Next on faking it...
My boyfriend has a big, fancy publicist.
Next on faking it...
I'm not impressive enough?
Next on faking it...
You're in high school.
Next on faking it...
(lauren) do you really expect
Next on faking it...
To find anything in there?
Next on faking it...
Somebody is having an affair!
Next on faking it...
- It's time for a stakeout. - Whose car is it?
Next on faking it...