Everybody Loves Raymond (1996–2005): Season 9, Episode 14 - The Power of No - full transcript
For once, Debra wants sex. But Ray rejects her so she can feel how he feels when she rejects him. But when Debra finds out, it's war.
-Hey. Good morning.
- Hey.
When did you
finally come to bed?
'Cause I thought
you were coming right up,
but then I fell asleep.
Yeah, the game-- it went
into double overtime.
- It was amazing.
- Oh.
'Cause... I thought
we had plans.
Sorry. God...
- Did you catch the end of that game?
- Oh, it was amazing.
- See?
- All right.
Well, I'll let you boys talk about
your exciting sports.
I just hope there's
not a game on tonight.
- Huh.
- What?
I think she just
gave me the look.
What do you mean?
You know...
Sex.
That face means sex?
I thought it meant gas.
She does it better, okay?
Yeah, I know when
Amy's in the mood,
'cause she always gives me
this sexy little sideways smile.
I think Amy's saying
"Hurry up and
get it over with."
Your mother's
got a look too,
which is why after sunset
I avoid all eye contact.
It's weird, though.
It's weird.
Okay, last night
I got the look
but I got caught up
in the game
so I stayed up to watch it
instead of going upstairs.
And now
instead of being mad
Debra gave me
the look again.
Huh.
Maybe-- maybe I should
turn her down again,
you know?
Why would you do
a silly thing like that?
I don't know. I'm always
the one being shot down.
It felt good, her wondering
where I was last night.
You can't turn her down.
I could too
turn her down!
Oh, come on,
you follow her around
Iike a dog with his
tongue hanging out.
Yeah, your tongue
is the leash she uses
to parade you
around the park.
Ladies and gentlemen,
worst in show!
Yeah, well, then maybe
that's why I should
turn her down--
so she doesn't
take me for granted.
You know? I mean,
she's gotta appreciate
what she's got here.
Yes, you're
quite a catch.
I can hardly
keep my hands off you.
Come on, come on!
Stupid.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Oh, I left
the hallway light on.
I'll be right back.
I can say no.
I can say no.
You already asleep?
Huh? What?
You must be tired.
Oh, yeah,
I'm kind of beat.
I just--
I got a lot of...
stuff...
...going on.
Maybe tomorrow.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, 'night.
Yeah.
Good night.
Where were you, man?
Come on, let's go.
I don't think I'm gonna
go hit balls today.
What-- what?
Oh, what, did the wife
say you can't go?
No no, just a little
stiff, that's all.
Oh, so it's
a medical decision
you're making
to stay here and...
... help Amy
pick out drapes.
Ah, drapes.
If there's any
material left over,
why don't you make yourself
a little skirt?
I'm still gonna go,
and you know what?
I may go tomorrow because
I can do whatever I want.
What do you mean?
You thought I couldn't
turn down Debra, right?
Two times, my friend!
Last night I told her
that I had a lot of work to do today.
Work!
And then-- and then
first thing this morning,
she started
hinting again.
She even brushed her teeth
and everything,
but no sale!
It's amazing. It's like
every time I turn her down,
she seems to want it more.
She's like a guy.
And she's not
getting upset?
No no, that's just it.
She's been treating me
better all day.
I came in this morning--
she was making me a cheese omelet.
She hasn't done that
since before Ally was born.
I mean, yeah, it had
shells in it, but still...
You know what
I've discovered?
The power of "no."
"The power of no"--
give me a break.
Hey, who gets to hit a bucket of balls
in the middle of the day?
Yeah, well, that's just the difference
between me and you, Raymond:
you like to golf by yourself
and have a crappy omelet
while I prefer sex.
- No.
- Yes.
No.
No, man, you're not
getting it.
Debra can't keep
her hands off me.
It's like with
the power of "no"
comes the power of "yes."
Uh-huh. For the first time
in my marriage
I finally know what it's like
to be the one wearing the panties.
You have a wrong
and generally troubled
relationship.
No no no, I don't.
It's very right.
Let me ask you something:
why do you always feel the need
to be manipulative
when it comes to sex?
Because...
I'm not very good at it.
- You're not very good at what?
- Oh, you name it.
Listen, Robert--
he can't go hit balls,
but I was thinking
that I'd still go.
- Yeah, sure, go. Have a good time.
- All right.
Hey, you know what?
They got a great hot-dog guy there.
You want me
to bring you back one?
No, I shouldn't.
I gotta watch my figure.
Hey, you let me be the one
to watch your figure.
"Let me watch
your figure"?
That's not funny.
That's right, it's not,
and yet it is!
Because she is weak--
weak... for my physique.
Okay.
- Oh, don't those look nice?
- Yeah.
I don't know why Robert had such
a hard time putting them up yesterday.
Well, he can't handle
normal-sized tools
with those giant fingers.
Here, push that curtain
over a little
so we don't see
his blood.
So what
do you think, Deb?
Yeah, they look great.
Debra dear,
you're being so quiet.
That's not like you.
No, I'm fine.
It's just...
- do I look different to you?
- What do you mean?
I don't know,
I'm just feeling...
Have I drooped?
Drooped?
You try to work out
and take care of yourself,
yet there still comes a day
when everything just...
I wouldn't know about that.
Stop it, Deb.
You look great.
You know how my friends
and I keep fit?
Water aerobics
at the "Y."
Say, why don't you
come with us tomorrow?
Oh, I'll have to check
and see if I'm free.
Oh, we'll have a ball!
Let me go look for
an extra pair of nose clips
and a swim cap.
Debra, you're really
upset about this.
Ray keeps turning me down.
- What do you mean? Sex?
- Yeah.
That doesn't sound
like him.
He usually follows you around
with his tongue hanging out.
I know.
I'm sure it's not you.
- Hey, maybe he's sick.
- Nah.
I wish he was,
but, oh, man,
who am I kidding?
I should just go
with Marie to the "Y,"
put on a flowery swim cap
and float around
with the old ladies.
You know, it's funny--
you bringing this up,
because last night when
Robert and I went to bed
he was acting
kind of distant too.
But then I just kissed his neck
and he said,
"Ray's crazy."
- He did?
- Yeah.
And then he said
something about
how I could have
all the power.
It was weird.
He usually doesn't like to
mention Ray in the bedroom.
He says
it inhibits him.
"The power"?
I mean, why would he--?
Oh.
What?
Oh my God.
Oh my God!
He has been
turning me down on purpose!
Oh, no. Why would
he do that?
For the power!
He thinks it gives him
the upper hand or something.
Well, that's gross.
Hey, but look on
the bright side.
- This means you're still hot.
- Of course I am!
The worst part about this
is that it worked.
I've been trying to make myself
look better for him.
Do you know I did
1 38 situps this morning--
all for some guy
whose stomach
Iooks like a deflated
clown balloon?
Oh, boy. You're gonna
kill him, aren't you?
No.
No, I want him alive.
- Hey, Jimmyjack!
- Hey!
- How was work?
- Good. Where are the kids?
- I sent them over to the Parkers.
- Why?
I wanted them
out of the house.
Oh, yeah?
I didn't think
it would be appropriate
for the children to see
what I was going to do to you.
Oh, gosh.
Really, Deb?
Right now?
I don't know.
I've got a lot to do.
Really, Deb, I think--
You're just so powerful.
Yeah yeah, well--
I just can't resist a man
with so much power.
Okay, look, I'm really starting to feel
a little uncomfortable--
- What's with you?
- Robert told Amy
why you've been
turning me down.
I hate that guy!
So you were
just toying with me?
Getting me to beg for sex--
that makes you feel good?!
No! No, I don't know.
I just--
I guess I wanted to see
what it was like
to be the one
being pursued for once.
But you made me feel
terrible about myself!
You just kept
rejecting me.
How could you
do that to somebody?
What?
You had me convinced
I was a fat, ugly old lady!
Well, now you know
how I feel!
You feel bad because
I turned you down, what, three times?
Try being rejected
40 or 50 times every year
for the last 10 years.
How do you think that feels?
You're looking at the president
of the fat, ugly
old ladies' club.
Welcome!
Have a donut!
There is no way I turned you down
that much.
And I say yes a lot!
Exactly. You say yes
and you say no.
You're-- you're the bouncer
in front of the disco
who decides who gets in
and who doesn't.
And for once
it was you standing outside.
Yeah, and you
couldn't take it.
Yeah, it's cold
out there, isn't it,
standing in the rain with your bad shirt
and your acne pimples?
There is no way you can
compare me turning you down
with what you did to me!
Listen, Ray, if I turn you down,
it is because I am exhausted
from taking care of
three kids all day
and thinking of everything that l
have to do the next day!
Still using the kids, huh?
Oh my God,
I can't believe
I ever wanted
to have sex with you!
Well, you don't have to worry
because I'm not sure
the next time you're
getting sex from me.
Oh, you're threatening me
with no sex? Please.
You will be saying "please"--
"pretty please with sugar on top."
Ha! Ha!
I'm serious. I don't know when I'll
be in the mood again.
You are always
in the mood.
You wouldn't last
a night.
I just did three nights,
Lady Pantaloons.
Okay? So we'll see
who can't last.
Oh my, how will I ever
resist my baser instincts?
I like that.
I like the Southern thing.
That'll be good
when you come back saying,
"Pretty please with
sugar on top."
Okay, well, good ni--
Oh my God,
are those silk?
I believe they're satin.
You wanna feel?
That's quite all right.
What's with
all your lacy apparel?
Nothing.
It's just pajamas.
Good night.
Yeah.
Yeah yeah,
I'm a little tired too.
Did you put oil on?
No.
It's just
my natural juices.
What are you doing?
Me?
What, did you have my mom
put your makeup on?
No sex for you!
No sex for you.
All right, you win!
- What?
- I give up!
I am officially
asking you
to please have
some sex with me.
- What are you talking about?
- Our thing!
Our not having sex thing!
Are we still doing that?
Of course
we're still doing it.
It's been 26 days
of doing it--
not doing it.
I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.
Yeah, right!
I mean,
I can't believe it,
but really,
I totally forgot.
Please. You expect me to believe
that you didn't realize that we--
we went 26 days
without having sex?
It's just I've been
really busy, you know--
the P.T.A. fundraiser's
coming up
and I've just had
a lot on my mind.
26 days.
You weren't even trying.
Guess I was never really close
to having the power, was l?
Sorry.
All this time, l--
I thought you were doing
all those little things
to torture me.
- What things?
- Forget it.
- No, come on.
- You know...
Iike biting your lower lip when you use
the remote to change the channel.
- I do that?
- Yeah!
How about when you keep
one of your legs outside of the covers
and the pajama
rides up it?
- It's just because I'm hot.
- Yes, you are!
Even when you sleep,
every so often
you kind of
sigh a little.
You haven't slept much lately,
have you?
No.
Even now...
Iook at you,
with your hair like that,
sitting there in your...
robe.
But I'm a mess.
Yeah, well, I guess even
when you're not trying,
it still works.
What? What are you doing?
You just got a little
of your power back.
Whoa, wait wait.
Are you toying with me?
Because if you are,
I'm just gonna
start to cry.
I've been waiting for this
for a long time too, Ray.
And by the way,
it's been 27 days, not 26.
Oh, you do re--
--member!
Good morning!
- Morning, kids.
- What are you doing here?
We live here.
No no no!
Hey, you guys can make
breakfast yourselves, right?
'Cause Daddy has to talk to Mommy
upstairs about something.
- Ray.
- Eh?
- Hey.
When did you
finally come to bed?
'Cause I thought
you were coming right up,
but then I fell asleep.
Yeah, the game-- it went
into double overtime.
- It was amazing.
- Oh.
'Cause... I thought
we had plans.
Sorry. God...
- Did you catch the end of that game?
- Oh, it was amazing.
- See?
- All right.
Well, I'll let you boys talk about
your exciting sports.
I just hope there's
not a game on tonight.
- Huh.
- What?
I think she just
gave me the look.
What do you mean?
You know...
Sex.
That face means sex?
I thought it meant gas.
She does it better, okay?
Yeah, I know when
Amy's in the mood,
'cause she always gives me
this sexy little sideways smile.
I think Amy's saying
"Hurry up and
get it over with."
Your mother's
got a look too,
which is why after sunset
I avoid all eye contact.
It's weird, though.
It's weird.
Okay, last night
I got the look
but I got caught up
in the game
so I stayed up to watch it
instead of going upstairs.
And now
instead of being mad
Debra gave me
the look again.
Huh.
Maybe-- maybe I should
turn her down again,
you know?
Why would you do
a silly thing like that?
I don't know. I'm always
the one being shot down.
It felt good, her wondering
where I was last night.
You can't turn her down.
I could too
turn her down!
Oh, come on,
you follow her around
Iike a dog with his
tongue hanging out.
Yeah, your tongue
is the leash she uses
to parade you
around the park.
Ladies and gentlemen,
worst in show!
Yeah, well, then maybe
that's why I should
turn her down--
so she doesn't
take me for granted.
You know? I mean,
she's gotta appreciate
what she's got here.
Yes, you're
quite a catch.
I can hardly
keep my hands off you.
Come on, come on!
Stupid.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Oh, I left
the hallway light on.
I'll be right back.
I can say no.
I can say no.
You already asleep?
Huh? What?
You must be tired.
Oh, yeah,
I'm kind of beat.
I just--
I got a lot of...
stuff...
...going on.
Maybe tomorrow.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, 'night.
Yeah.
Good night.
Where were you, man?
Come on, let's go.
I don't think I'm gonna
go hit balls today.
What-- what?
Oh, what, did the wife
say you can't go?
No no, just a little
stiff, that's all.
Oh, so it's
a medical decision
you're making
to stay here and...
... help Amy
pick out drapes.
Ah, drapes.
If there's any
material left over,
why don't you make yourself
a little skirt?
I'm still gonna go,
and you know what?
I may go tomorrow because
I can do whatever I want.
What do you mean?
You thought I couldn't
turn down Debra, right?
Two times, my friend!
Last night I told her
that I had a lot of work to do today.
Work!
And then-- and then
first thing this morning,
she started
hinting again.
She even brushed her teeth
and everything,
but no sale!
It's amazing. It's like
every time I turn her down,
she seems to want it more.
She's like a guy.
And she's not
getting upset?
No no, that's just it.
She's been treating me
better all day.
I came in this morning--
she was making me a cheese omelet.
She hasn't done that
since before Ally was born.
I mean, yeah, it had
shells in it, but still...
You know what
I've discovered?
The power of "no."
"The power of no"--
give me a break.
Hey, who gets to hit a bucket of balls
in the middle of the day?
Yeah, well, that's just the difference
between me and you, Raymond:
you like to golf by yourself
and have a crappy omelet
while I prefer sex.
- No.
- Yes.
No.
No, man, you're not
getting it.
Debra can't keep
her hands off me.
It's like with
the power of "no"
comes the power of "yes."
Uh-huh. For the first time
in my marriage
I finally know what it's like
to be the one wearing the panties.
You have a wrong
and generally troubled
relationship.
No no no, I don't.
It's very right.
Let me ask you something:
why do you always feel the need
to be manipulative
when it comes to sex?
Because...
I'm not very good at it.
- You're not very good at what?
- Oh, you name it.
Listen, Robert--
he can't go hit balls,
but I was thinking
that I'd still go.
- Yeah, sure, go. Have a good time.
- All right.
Hey, you know what?
They got a great hot-dog guy there.
You want me
to bring you back one?
No, I shouldn't.
I gotta watch my figure.
Hey, you let me be the one
to watch your figure.
"Let me watch
your figure"?
That's not funny.
That's right, it's not,
and yet it is!
Because she is weak--
weak... for my physique.
Okay.
- Oh, don't those look nice?
- Yeah.
I don't know why Robert had such
a hard time putting them up yesterday.
Well, he can't handle
normal-sized tools
with those giant fingers.
Here, push that curtain
over a little
so we don't see
his blood.
So what
do you think, Deb?
Yeah, they look great.
Debra dear,
you're being so quiet.
That's not like you.
No, I'm fine.
It's just...
- do I look different to you?
- What do you mean?
I don't know,
I'm just feeling...
Have I drooped?
Drooped?
You try to work out
and take care of yourself,
yet there still comes a day
when everything just...
I wouldn't know about that.
Stop it, Deb.
You look great.
You know how my friends
and I keep fit?
Water aerobics
at the "Y."
Say, why don't you
come with us tomorrow?
Oh, I'll have to check
and see if I'm free.
Oh, we'll have a ball!
Let me go look for
an extra pair of nose clips
and a swim cap.
Debra, you're really
upset about this.
Ray keeps turning me down.
- What do you mean? Sex?
- Yeah.
That doesn't sound
like him.
He usually follows you around
with his tongue hanging out.
I know.
I'm sure it's not you.
- Hey, maybe he's sick.
- Nah.
I wish he was,
but, oh, man,
who am I kidding?
I should just go
with Marie to the "Y,"
put on a flowery swim cap
and float around
with the old ladies.
You know, it's funny--
you bringing this up,
because last night when
Robert and I went to bed
he was acting
kind of distant too.
But then I just kissed his neck
and he said,
"Ray's crazy."
- He did?
- Yeah.
And then he said
something about
how I could have
all the power.
It was weird.
He usually doesn't like to
mention Ray in the bedroom.
He says
it inhibits him.
"The power"?
I mean, why would he--?
Oh.
What?
Oh my God.
Oh my God!
He has been
turning me down on purpose!
Oh, no. Why would
he do that?
For the power!
He thinks it gives him
the upper hand or something.
Well, that's gross.
Hey, but look on
the bright side.
- This means you're still hot.
- Of course I am!
The worst part about this
is that it worked.
I've been trying to make myself
look better for him.
Do you know I did
1 38 situps this morning--
all for some guy
whose stomach
Iooks like a deflated
clown balloon?
Oh, boy. You're gonna
kill him, aren't you?
No.
No, I want him alive.
- Hey, Jimmyjack!
- Hey!
- How was work?
- Good. Where are the kids?
- I sent them over to the Parkers.
- Why?
I wanted them
out of the house.
Oh, yeah?
I didn't think
it would be appropriate
for the children to see
what I was going to do to you.
Oh, gosh.
Really, Deb?
Right now?
I don't know.
I've got a lot to do.
Really, Deb, I think--
You're just so powerful.
Yeah yeah, well--
I just can't resist a man
with so much power.
Okay, look, I'm really starting to feel
a little uncomfortable--
- What's with you?
- Robert told Amy
why you've been
turning me down.
I hate that guy!
So you were
just toying with me?
Getting me to beg for sex--
that makes you feel good?!
No! No, I don't know.
I just--
I guess I wanted to see
what it was like
to be the one
being pursued for once.
But you made me feel
terrible about myself!
You just kept
rejecting me.
How could you
do that to somebody?
What?
You had me convinced
I was a fat, ugly old lady!
Well, now you know
how I feel!
You feel bad because
I turned you down, what, three times?
Try being rejected
40 or 50 times every year
for the last 10 years.
How do you think that feels?
You're looking at the president
of the fat, ugly
old ladies' club.
Welcome!
Have a donut!
There is no way I turned you down
that much.
And I say yes a lot!
Exactly. You say yes
and you say no.
You're-- you're the bouncer
in front of the disco
who decides who gets in
and who doesn't.
And for once
it was you standing outside.
Yeah, and you
couldn't take it.
Yeah, it's cold
out there, isn't it,
standing in the rain with your bad shirt
and your acne pimples?
There is no way you can
compare me turning you down
with what you did to me!
Listen, Ray, if I turn you down,
it is because I am exhausted
from taking care of
three kids all day
and thinking of everything that l
have to do the next day!
Still using the kids, huh?
Oh my God,
I can't believe
I ever wanted
to have sex with you!
Well, you don't have to worry
because I'm not sure
the next time you're
getting sex from me.
Oh, you're threatening me
with no sex? Please.
You will be saying "please"--
"pretty please with sugar on top."
Ha! Ha!
I'm serious. I don't know when I'll
be in the mood again.
You are always
in the mood.
You wouldn't last
a night.
I just did three nights,
Lady Pantaloons.
Okay? So we'll see
who can't last.
Oh my, how will I ever
resist my baser instincts?
I like that.
I like the Southern thing.
That'll be good
when you come back saying,
"Pretty please with
sugar on top."
Okay, well, good ni--
Oh my God,
are those silk?
I believe they're satin.
You wanna feel?
That's quite all right.
What's with
all your lacy apparel?
Nothing.
It's just pajamas.
Good night.
Yeah.
Yeah yeah,
I'm a little tired too.
Did you put oil on?
No.
It's just
my natural juices.
What are you doing?
Me?
What, did you have my mom
put your makeup on?
No sex for you!
No sex for you.
All right, you win!
- What?
- I give up!
I am officially
asking you
to please have
some sex with me.
- What are you talking about?
- Our thing!
Our not having sex thing!
Are we still doing that?
Of course
we're still doing it.
It's been 26 days
of doing it--
not doing it.
I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.
Yeah, right!
I mean,
I can't believe it,
but really,
I totally forgot.
Please. You expect me to believe
that you didn't realize that we--
we went 26 days
without having sex?
It's just I've been
really busy, you know--
the P.T.A. fundraiser's
coming up
and I've just had
a lot on my mind.
26 days.
You weren't even trying.
Guess I was never really close
to having the power, was l?
Sorry.
All this time, l--
I thought you were doing
all those little things
to torture me.
- What things?
- Forget it.
- No, come on.
- You know...
Iike biting your lower lip when you use
the remote to change the channel.
- I do that?
- Yeah!
How about when you keep
one of your legs outside of the covers
and the pajama
rides up it?
- It's just because I'm hot.
- Yes, you are!
Even when you sleep,
every so often
you kind of
sigh a little.
You haven't slept much lately,
have you?
No.
Even now...
Iook at you,
with your hair like that,
sitting there in your...
robe.
But I'm a mess.
Yeah, well, I guess even
when you're not trying,
it still works.
What? What are you doing?
You just got a little
of your power back.
Whoa, wait wait.
Are you toying with me?
Because if you are,
I'm just gonna
start to cry.
I've been waiting for this
for a long time too, Ray.
And by the way,
it's been 27 days, not 26.
Oh, you do re--
--member!
Good morning!
- Morning, kids.
- What are you doing here?
We live here.
No no no!
Hey, you guys can make
breakfast yourselves, right?
'Cause Daddy has to talk to Mommy
upstairs about something.
- Ray.
- Eh?