Everybody Loves Raymond (1996–2005): Season 7, Episode 10 - Marie's Vision - full transcript

Now that Robert is back with Amy, the family turns to another problem. Marie's eyes. Her eye sight is getting worse, so Debra asks her to go get glasses. Not only do the glasses help ...

- CAN WE GO WATCH TV UPSTAIRS?

- YEAH, JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

- AH, THAT WAS
SUCH A WONDERFUL NIGHT.

- WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

IT WAS JUST DINNER

AND YOU PEOPLE.

- I'M TALKING ABOUT ROBERT'S
WONDERFUL ANNOUNCEMENT.

I AM SO HAPPY
YOU'RE BACK WITH AMY.

- A WONDERFUL ANNOUNCEMENT
WOULD HAVE BEEN,

"I'M PICKING UP THE CHECK."

- AND GUESS WHAT.



AMY'S COMING
TO THANKSGIVING TOO.

- OH.
- THAT'S IN TWO DAYS.

ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN
STAY TOGETHER THAT LONG?

- ZING, ZING, ZING.
HUH, CUBBY?

[laughs]

- WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO.
IT'S GETTING KIND OF LATE.

WHAT TIME IS IT, MARIE?

- WHAT'S THE TIME?

IT'S, UM...

UM...UH...

TIME FOR DESSERT!

IT'S SUCH A WONDERFUL NIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT, DESSERT.
- ALL RIGHT.

LET'S DO THAT.



WOW.
DID YOU SEE THAT?

- YEAH, IT'S GETTING REALLY BAD.

- I THINK
IT'S WORSE THAN EVER.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- FRANK, DIDN'T YOU SEE MARIE

HAVING TROUBLE WITH THE CLOCK?

- WELL, TIME HAS NEVER BEEN

A FRIEND TO MARIE.

- SHE WAS SQUINTING
BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T SEE IT.

SAME THING WAS HAPPENING
AT THE RESTAURANT.

- YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.

DID YOU SEE HER STRAINING
TO READ THE SPECIALS?

- WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER
SHE WALKED INTO THE MEN'S ROOM?

- MA'S BLIND.

- SHE'S NOT BLIND, ROBERT.

WE JUST HAVE TO TELL HER
SHE NEEDS GLASSES.

- OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
- OH, YEAH, THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

- WHY?
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

- NOW, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU'VE NOTICED, DEBRA,

BUT MA'S PRETTY SENSITIVE
ABOUT HER APPEARANCE.

- YEAH, BUT YOUR MOM'S
NOT SO SILLY

THAT SHE'S GONNA PUT VANITY
BEFORE HER SIGHT.

[both laughing]

- YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT, DEB.

YOU SHOULD TELL HER
SHE NEEDS GLASSES.

- YEAH.
- [chuckling]

- YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT
YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER FIRST.

- WHY DON'T YOU
TELL HER, FRANK?

- AH, NOT ME.

LAST TIME
I TOLD HER TO DO SOMETHING

FOR HER OWN GOOD,

IT COMPLETELY BIT ME
IN THE ASS.

- WHAT WAS THAT?
- I SAID, "MARRY ME."

- HERE WE GO, EVERYBODY.
TIRAMISU.

- OH, TIRAMISU ME!
- OOH!

- THERE'S SOME FOR THAT GUY.

ALL RIGHT.
- UM, MARIE...

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

- HEY, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

HOW COME THERE'S NO TIRAMISU
IN YOUR MOUTH?

- MARIE, UM...

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW AN OPTOMETRIST?

UH, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE WE WERE, UH, TALKING,

AND, UM, WE THOUGHT

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
LOOK INTO GETTING SOME GLASSES.

- MY EYES ARE FINE.

- WELL, WE COULDN'T HELP
BUT NOTICE

THAT YOU'RE HAVING
A LITTLE TROUBLE SEEING.

- WELL, LET ME TELL YOU
THAT MY VISION IS PERFECT.

TELL THEM, FRANK.

FRANK?

- OH, I WAS HOPING
YOU COULDN'T SEE ME.

- MARIE, WHAT'S THE HARM IN JUST
GETTING YOUR EYES CHECKED?

- I AM NOT WEARING GLASSES.

- OKAY, CONTACT LENSES, THEN.
WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?

- I'M--I'M NOT GONNA
STICK THOSE THINGS IN MY EYES.

AND I DON'T LIKE
HOW I LOOK IN GLASSES.

- BUT IF YOU'RE
HAVING TROUBLE SEEING,

ISN'T CORRECTING THAT MORE
IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

- YOU KNOW ME, DEBRA.

I'M NOT A VAIN WOMAN.

AND I'VE BEEN TOLD

THAT I HAVE
A BOTTICELLI FACE.

AND ONE DOES NOT PUT GLASSES
ON A BOTTICELLI FACE.

- I'D SAY YOU HAVE MORE
OF A "MR. POTATO HEAD" FACE.

AND GLASSES COME WITH THE KIT.

- I AM NOT GETTING GLASSES,

AND WE'RE NOT
TALKING ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.

JUST EAT YOUR DESSERT.

- OKAY.

EW.

MY FORK IS DIRTY.
- WHAT?

THERE ARE NO DIRTY FORKS
IN MY HOUSE.

LET ME SEE.

OH, MY GOD.

- WHAT, MA?

- I WASHED THIS FORK MYSELF

BY HAND.

I GUESS I MISSED IT.

- LET'S HIDE.

[cheering on TV]

- IT'S OKAY.
I GOT IT.

- OH.
OH, YOU GOT IT.

'CAUSE YOU'RE
A SEXY MUSCLE GIRL.

- I JUST CAME
FROM THE EYE DOCTOR,

AND I WANT
TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

TA-DA!

- OH!

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- YOU DID IT, MA!

- YEAH, THE DOCTOR SAID

I REALLY ONLY NEED TO USE THEM
FOR READING AND DRIVING,

BUT THERE WERE
SOME PEOPLE IN THE SHOP

WHO SAID THAT I LOOK
SO SOPHISTICATED IN THEM,

I MIGHT LEAVE THEM ON
ALL THE TIME.

- THAT'S THE, UH, THE STYLE
THE KIDS ARE WEARING NOW?

- RAY...
THEY LOOK GREAT, MARIE!

- YEAH, NO, THEY LOOK GOOD.
THEY LOOK GOOD.

- OH, WOW.
WHAT DID FRANK SAY?

- NOTHING.

HE WOULDN'T NOTICE
ANYTHING NEW ON ME

UNLESS IT WAS MADE
OF SAUSAGE.

BUT I'LL TELL YA,
ON THE DRIVE HOME,

IT WAS AS IF I WAS
SEEING THE NEIGHBORHOOD

FOR THE FIRST TIME.

- THAT'S GREAT, MA.

- OH, MARIE,
WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!

- OH, ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

- OH, LOOK.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN SEE?

THERE'S A COBWEB FORMING
UNDER THE TELEVISION.

- WOW, THAT IS JUST--
THAT IS GREAT!

THAT'S AMAZING.
MARIE, THAT'S TERRIFIC.

- I MEAN,
I CAN SEE THE WORLD!

EVERYTHING IS
A LITTLE MORE CLEAR AND VIVID.

OH, WHAT'S THAT?
- WHAT?

- OH, NOTHING.
IT'S JUST AN EYELASH.

- OH, WOW.

THOSE ARE HIGH-POWERED, MA.

- MAKE A WISH.

[laughs]

- OH.

- WHAT?

- OH, NOTHING.

I JUST NEVER NOTICED
YOUR EYELASHES.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- I--I ALWAYS THOUGHT
THEY WERE A LITTLE FULLER.

OH, DON'T TOUCH.

YOU WANT TO KEEP
THE ONES YOU HAVE.

WELL, ALL RIGHT.
I BETTER BE GOING.

GOOD-BYE, DEAR.

- OKAY. BYE-BYE.

- OH, AND I'LL TELL YOU

ANOTHER GREAT THING
ABOUT THESE NEW GLASSES.

THEY LET ME SEE
JUST HOW HANDSOME YOU ARE.

MAYBE I SHOULD
GET DEBRA A PAIR.

- AND I LOVE
THAT LITTLE TOUCH OF GRAY

YOU'RE GETTING
AROUND THE SIDES.

VERY DISTINGUISHED.

- WHAT?
- I GOT TO GO.

OH, AND DEBRA,
THANK YOU FOR THESE.

I'M GONNA SHOW THESE
TO ROBBIE.

OH, I CAN'T WAIT
FOR THANKSGIVING TOMORROW.

- ISN'T THAT GREAT?

YOUR MOM CAN SEE.

- YEAH, I KNOW.

IT'S LIKE A BLESSING.

- OH, ONE MORE THING.

I WAS WONDERING
IF I COULD MAKE

A PUMPKIN BUNDT CAKE TOMORROW.

- OKAY. OKAY, SURE.
- YEAH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

SO WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

- AND I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

- HEY.

HOW'S IT GOING?

- WHAT DID YOU DO
TO YOUR HAIR?

- NOTHING.

WHAT'S WITH YOUR EYES?

- NEVER MIND.

NO, WHAT IS UP
WITH YOUR SIDEBURNS?

- NOTHING.

DID A LITTLE TOUCH-UP.
THAT'S ALL.

- TOUCH-UP?
WHAT IS--

- NOTHING!

WHY? WHAT?
IS IT NOTICEABLE?

- NO, NOT AT ALL,

ELVIS.

- HA HA HA.
LOOK AT YOU.

- THIS IS NOT
THE SAME THING AT ALL.

IT'S A HOLIDAY.

- OH, SO WHAT ARE YOU,
THE THANKSGIVING DAY HOOKER?

- THIS IS NOT HOOKER, RAY.

THIS IS WHAT WOMEN DO

WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE
THE THICKEST EYELASHES.

YOU JUST DON'T ALWAYS
SEE ME LIKE THIS

BECAUSE I'M NOT SOMEONE
WHO CARES ABOUT THESE THINGS.

- BOY, I'D HATE TO SEE THE EYES
OF SOMEBODY WHO DOES CARE.

- YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CARES.

LOOK WHAT YOU DID
TO YOUR HEAD.

I HAD NO IDEA
YOU WERE SO VAIN.

- ME, VAIN?

YOU'RE A RACCOON
TALKING TO ME!

- HELLO, EVERYBODY.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

- HEY, AMY.
- OH!

- HI, ROBERT.

- HEY, E'RYDUDDY.

WHERE DO YOU WANT ME
TO HUT THIS CRANDERRY SAUCE?

- WHAT DID YOU SAY?

- CRANDERRY SAUCE.

IT'S HANTASTIC!

- "HANTASTIC"?

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?

- OH, YEAH, YEAH.

I WENT TO THE DENTIST.

SO HOW IS E'RYDUDDY?

CAN'T WAIT HOR THE TURKEY.

- ROBERT.

- WHAT?

- ROBERT HAD A PROCEDURE.

- AMY, COME ON!

- ROBERT, DID YOU HAVE
THOSE ANTI-WRINKLE INJECTIONS

PUT IN YOUR FACE?

- TERHATS.

- "TURD HATS"?

- YOUR MOTHER NOTICED
A FEW WRINKLES ON HIM,

SO HE GOES TO SOME DOCTOR
IN THE YELLOW PAGES

AND PARALYZES HIS FACE.

- IT'S TENTARARY.

- RAY, WHAT DID YOU DO
TO YOUR HAIR?

- NOTHING.

- OH, I KNOW.

NA NUST O' NOTICED
SOMETHING ADOUT HIS HAIR...

AND SOMETHING ADOUT HER EYES.

[laughing]

DAT'S HILARIOUS!

[laughing]

- YEAH, HA HA HA.

YOU NEED SOME OIL,
TIN MAN?

- WOW.

MARIE'S REALLY
NOTICING STUFF, HUH?

WHAT AM I GONNA DO
WITH THIS?

- HERE WE ARE.
HI, EVERYBODY.

- HEY. HI.
HI, MA. HI, DAD.

- YEAH, YEAH.

FOOTBALL.

- AMY.

- MARIE.

- OH, IT'S SO LOVELY
TO SEE YOU.

- OH.

YEAH. IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

I MUST LOOK MUCH OLDER.

- OH, NONSENSE.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, SWEETIE.

BETTER WITH AGE, I SAY.

- OH, THANK YOU.
- OF COURSE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE
ONE OF THOSE WOMEN

THAT GETS ALL THAT WORK DONE.

- HI, NA.

- ROBERT?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- SURE.

HAHHY TURKEY DAY!

- TELL HER WHAT YOU DID
TO YOURSELF, MORON.

- HY DON'T YOU?

- I DON'T DO ANYTHING.

- TOUCH HIS HAIR, NA!
TOUCH HIS HAIR, NA!

- YEAH, BUT LOOK AT HIS FACE!

ALL RIGHT.
STOP IT, YOU TWO.

THIS IS A HOLIDAY.

RAYMOND.

YOU LOOK SO NICE.

- THANK YOU.

- IS THIS SHOE POLISH?

- ONLY IF YOU PUT IT
ON A SHOE.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
YOU SAID I LOOKED NICE.

AND I DO.

I LOOK NICE,
AND I FEEL NICE.

THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING,

THAT YOU FEEL GOOD
ABOUT YOURSELF.

- I HEEL GREAT ADOUT NYSEL.

- ROBBIE,

STOP TALKING THAT WAY NOW.

IT'S ANNOYING.

- HE CAN'T STOP, MA,

'CAUSE HE PUT INJECTIONS
IN HIS FACE.

- WHAT?

- RAYNOND!

WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT?

WHAT I DO HITH NY HACE
IS NY DUSINESS!

- ROBERT!
- NO! I'N REALLY TISSED!

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?

- NY?

DECAUSE O' YOU.

YOU'RE THE UN WHO SAID

YOU CAN SEE ALL THE WRINKLES
IN NY HACE.

- I LIKE THOSE LINES.

THAT'S CHARACTER.

NOW YOU LOOK LIKE A TOTEM POLE.

- [laughs]

- HERE, LET ME TRANSLATE.

TOTEM TOLE.

- RAYMOND.

DID YOU PUT THAT STUFF
IN YOUR HAIR

JUST BECAUSE OF SOMETHING
I SAID?

ABOUT HOW I LIKE
THE TOUCH OF SILVER ON THE SIDE?

- I DON'T LIKE THE SILVER.

- OH, RAYMOND.

NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU GET,

YOU'RE STILL GONNA BE MY BOY.

AND, DEBRA...

COULD YOU--

OH, MY.

- YOU SAID I HAD
SKIMPY EYELASHES.

- OH, HONEY.

I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING
BY THAT.

YOU HAVE SUCH PRETTY EYES.

I'VE ALWAYS SAID
THAT THAT'S YOUR BEST FEATURE.

HAVEN'T I, FRANK?

- YOU'VE SAID PLENTY.

- BUT I ALSO HAVE TO SAY

THAT I AM SO FLATTERED

THAT JUST BECAUSE I MADE
A COUPLE OF LITTLE OBSERVATIONS,

THAT MY KIDS
ARE WILLING TO CHANGE THINGS

JUST TO PLEASE ME.

- OR MAYBE IT'S EASIER TO CHANGE
THAN TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU.

- REALLY, FRANK?

THAT'S FUNNY
COMING FROM YOU,

BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO EITHER.

FRANK?

HEY!

- ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S NOT DO THIS TODAY.
IT'S THANKSGIVING.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S THANKSGIVING,

AND I'M THANKFUL FOR FOOTBALL.

GIVE ME THAT REMOTE, LADY!

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR

WHAT I NOW NOTICE
ABOUT YOU, FRANK?

- OH, BOY.

- YEAH, YEAH.
I'M FAT AND BALD.

THE REMOTE.

- THAT'S NOT
WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT LOOKS.

I'M WITH YOU,
AREN'T I?

I'M TALKING
ABOUT WHAT'S INSIDE, FRANK.

- OH, GEEZ.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

THE TOTAL LACK OF COMMUNICATION.

THE TOTAL DISREGARD
FOR ME AS A HUMAN BEING.

IT'S BEEN THIS WAY
FOR 45 YEARS.

I MEAN, GOD FORBID YOU SHOULD
PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME

OR SHOW ME EVEN
IN THE SLIGHTEST POSSIBLE WAY

THAT YOU HAVE ANY FEELINGS
FOR ME AT ALL.

- WELL, THEN,
IF I'M SO TERRIBLE,

WHY DO YOU STICK AROUND?

- MAYBE I WON'T.

- OH, YEAH?

- MAYBE I WON'T, FRANK,

NOW THAT I SEE
I'M IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE.

- A LOVELESS MARRIAGE?

A LOVELESS MARRIAGE?

A LOVELESS
MARRIAGE?

- NODUDDY THINKS
I LOOK YOUNGER?

- AT LEAST
PUT SOME BUTTER ON THAT.

- NO.

- SOME JELLY?

- MUSTARD.
I GOT BROWN MUSTARD.

- I LIKE IT DRY.

- WELL, HAVE SOME MILK
OR SOMETHING,

'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
CHOKE TO DEATH.

- WHAT DO YOU CARE?

- IS THAT WHY
YOU BROKE MY NEW GLASSES?

BECAUSE I SAID WE HAVE
A LOVELESS MARRIAGE?

- YOU GONNA KEEP SAYING IT?

- IT BOTHERS YOU WHEN I DO,
DOESN'T IT?

I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

YOU KNOW I JUST GET
A LITTLE OVERDRAMATIC SOMETIMES.

BUT LOOK
HOW EVERYBODY REACTED

JUST BECAUSE OF SOMETHING
I SAID.

IT MADE ME FEEL IMPORTANT.

AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU
REACT SO STRONGLY

ABOUT ANYTHING I SAID.

YOU'RE A PIG.

YOU DON'T TALK.
YOU DON'T LISTEN.

BUT YOU LOVE ME, FRANK.

FRANK?

- YOU DON'T NEED GLASSES
FOR THAT.

- OH, FRANK.

YOU LOVE YOUR LITTLE RUM BALL.

- WE GOT ANY MEAT
FOR A SANDWICH?

- YEAH, I GOT
HARD SALAMI.

- AND I'LL TAKE SOME JUICE.
- OKAY.

AND, OH,
I GOT THE BROWN MUSTARD.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I--I THINK MAYBE I'LL JUST
WEAR THE GLASSES

FOR READING AND DRIVING
LIKE THE DOCTOR SAID.

WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S THANKSGIVING!

- SO?

- SO?

EVERYBODY'S OVER THERE--

THE KIDS, AMY--

A-AND DEBRA COOKED
ALL THAT FOOD.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE'LL EAT FIRST.

SO YOU REALLY THINK
MY EYES LOOK OKAY THIS WAY?

WITHOUT ALL THAT STUFF ON THEM?

- ALL RIGHT,
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT
YOUR EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL.

- THAT'S VERY SWEET.

BUT I WANT YOU
TO ANSWER THE QUESTION AGAIN

AND BEAR IN MIND
THAT I AM WAY TOO TIRED

TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT.

- WHAT DOES THAT GOT TO DO
WITH ANYTHING?

I LOVE YOUR EYES.

- NO, I MEAN IT, RAY.

IT'S REALLY NOT
GONNA HAPPEN TONIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

GIVE ME A BREAK.
I MEAN, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

YOUR EYES WERE THE FIRST THING
I NOTICED WHEN I MET YOU,

SO WHY WOULD I WANT
ANYTHING DIFFERENT?

- ARE YOU TRYING
TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?

- I AM.

- GOOD NIGHT, RAY.

- ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WISH I COULD SAY
THAT I DON'T LIKE YOUR EYES,

BUT SEX OR NO SEX,
YOUR EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL.

SO SWEET DREAMS.

- STILL TRYING?

- YEAH!

COME ON!