Everybody Loves Raymond (1996–2005): Season 6, Episode 8 - It's Supposed to Be Fun - full transcript

Jeezaloo,
look at Geoffrey.

He's skipping.

He's having fun, Frank.

Then he should try
curtseying.

That's fun, too.

He reminds me of you,
Raymond.

I didn't do that, Mom.

Yes, you did.

I did not skip.

To my loo.

This is boring.



Will you take me to the playground
now, Uncle Robert?

All right,forafewminutes.

But listen, there's plenty
of monkey bars out there.

Not everyone
has to climb on me.

Please?

All right.

Why didn't you bring some
cushions or something?

This bench is killing me.

It's crushing his brain.

Sure. These seats
don't bother you.

Hey, if you two
can't get along,

I'm gonna separate you.

You mean legally?

Another season of
"Everybody Loves Raymond."



Ow!

Oh, Geoffrey!

Geoffrey! Geoffrey!

Yay, Joey!
Way to go!

Good job, Joey!

Oh no. Geoffrey,
watch Joey!

Ray.

Well, look at him.
He's staggering around out there.

All right.

No more Bloody Marys
for breakfast.

What?

What does he need?

I think he wants
to use the bathroom.

No, Ma, that's just
how he runs.

What is it, honey?

Find out what he wants.

What?
What do you want?

Go down there.

Then they'll know
I'm with him.

- Go on.
- All right.

What, Geoffrey?
What are you trying to tell us?

Did you bring anything
for me to eat?

Anything to eat?
You're asking me about food?

Get the ball, okay?

Pretend the ball is food.

Go ahead.
Go on out there.

Go on out there,
then we'll talk about food.

Yeah.

Charlie Hustle
wants to know

if we brought
anything to eat.

Will you mind if I live
vicariously through Joey?

I should have
brought food.

I made cannelloni
this morning.

That's gone.

Where's Ally?

They're still out there.

All the kids
kept spinning me

on this
merry-go-round thing.

I kept telling them to stop,
but they wouldn't.

They just kept...

Iaughing and
pushing me and...

I need a minute.

Geoffrey,

your team has the ball.

You don't got
to play defense now!

It's okay, Geoffrey!
You're doing great!

Hey, big Geoff!

Aw, give me a break!

Would you just cheer?

What? I'm not doing
anything wrong.

I'm fooling around.

I'm fooling around,
everybody.

We'll still let him
sleep inside tonight.

Hang in there,
Geoffrey!

Good hustle,
big Geoff!

Yay, Geoffrey!
Way to go, Geoffrey!

Oh. When we get home,

I'll get you something
for your tum-tum.

That's okay, Ma.

I'm fine now.

Stop rubbing my tummy!

Hey, remember the time

you had that clam roll
at Howard Johnson's?

All right, Dad.

And you washed it down
with a strawberry milk shake?

Yeah, I remember, Dad.
Please stop.

I had a sardine sandwich...

with onions and mayonnaise,

and it was warm,
I recall.

Why do this?

I find your discomfort
amusing.

All right, plenty
of snacks left over.

Who wants some cheese sticks
and guava nectar?

I'll be outside.

Excuse me, Raymond?

Hey, Coach Bryan.

Hello. Can we talk
for just a moment?

Yeah, yeah. What?

What, is this about
Geoffrey skipping?

'Cause we're
gonna work on that.

Oh, no. Not at all.
He's more than welcome to skip.

Well, then,
he's your man.

Let's sit for a second,
shall we?

All right.

You know, Raymond,

I couldn't help overhearing
some of the things

you were saying in the stands today,
and it concerned me--

Yeah, listen,
listen, l--

Excuse me.
I was still speaking.

I'm concerned
that maybe we're dealing

with some misplaced
priorities here.

Now, I understand that you're
a prominent sports writer

and you deal
with grown-up teams

that are very concerned
with winning and losing--

- Look, I know what--
- Excuse me. Still speaking.

But I think we all
need to understand

that the space
outside the hoop

is just as valid as the space
inside the hoop.

Hmm.

You don't often hear that
from a basketball coach.

Well, you know,

competition isn't really
what we're all about.

I know, I know.
It's about fun.

I mean, fun!

Just give me a break.
It's 8:00 in the morning.

Raymond,
all I'm trying to say

is that when
you kid around,

it seems that you're
genuinely concerned

that Geoffrey's
doing something bad.

Well, no no no no.
That's not it at all.

Well, then,
why make fun of your son?

I wasn't making fun.

I was making fun-ny!

"He's allergic
to the basketball"?

That's not funny.

It is a little funny.

You know,

often a parent belittles
a child from the sideline

because that parent himself
is a frustrated athlete--

No no, no way.
I was good at sports.

Not that that's important.

Look, look, you're worried
that I'm too serious here,

but it's just
the opposite.

I've accepted I've got one kid out there
who's good at basketball,

and one kid who can't
do anything out there

except spin around
and pretend he's Scooby-Doo.

Herro, Reoffrey!

Ro rong!

Hey, the next time
Robert says he's nauseous,

he's walking home,
all right?

I had to hose off
the whole side of the van.

Asfarasthestreetgoes,

I think we're just gonna
have to pray for rain.

Geoffrey quit basketball.

What do you mean?
When?

Just now. They're up there
changing out of their uniforms.

He hands me his and says
he doesn't want to play anymore.

Oh.

I wonder why that is.

Gee, I don't know.

But I was
just talking to him,

and I was thinking
it could possibly be related

to you telling his coach

that he looked
like Scooby-Doo.

I never said that!

Then what did you say?

I don't know, but I did not
say that exactly.

What did you say, Ray?

I was having
a private conversation

with Bryan Trenberth,

who, by the way,
knows squat about basketball,

and the exact thing I said
was that Geoffrey was good

at spinning around and pretending
to be Scooby-Doo.

Good at spinning
and pretending.

And Geoff heard you.

- So, look, I know--
- You were making your stupid comments

through the whole game,
and everybody else heard you.

Okay, but the only thing
he heard was Scooby-Doo.

Nobody quits from that.

You think
that he quit from that?

I'll talk to him.

Wait a minute.

What are you
gonna say to him?

I'm gonna talk to him.
Don't worry.

Don't worry? Tell me
what you're gonna say.

I don't have
to run things by you!

You're not in charge here!

Ray.

I'm gonna say...

that it was a joke,
and I was just kidding,

and he should play basketball
because it's a blast,

and let's all
have some bubble gum!

You're not going
to apologize?

See, this is why you don't know
anything about anything.

If I go up there
and apologize to Geoffrey,

then he thinks I have
something to apologize about,

and then all of a sudden
it's a big deal

when it's not a big deal.

It is a big deal!

No! No!

No, it's not!

Hey, weren't you the one
who came up with

the "laugh when they
fall down" trick

so they won't know
they hurt themselves?

Well, he didn't fall down today.
It's as if you pushed him down.

That is a completely
wrong analogy!

If anything,

today it was like
I patted him on the back

- and he tripped.
- Okay...

you're not going
near my son.

Come on!

This is nothing!

Hey,
you know what my father

used to do to me
when I was a kid?

I remember one time, I was getting
ready for the senior prom,

and I was combing my hair
in the hallway mirror,

and he pushes past me
and goes,

"Bad haircut.
I can still see your face."

How did that
make you feel?

What? Nothing.

I knew that he was
just trying to be funny.

All right, all right.

I felt bad for a second,
but then I forgot about it.

Until now?

Listen,
this wasn't like that.

All I really did
was say a little joke.

Like your dad.

You know, you've told me
that haircut story before.

It was just a little joke.

I didn't mean it.

I know you didn't.

I'll talk to him.

I'm gonna need
lots of gum.

Hey, Geoffrey.

Hi, Daddy.

Hey.

Listen, Geoff--

Whoop.

What you doing there?

Magna-man.
He sticks to things.

That is so great.

Listen, Geoff,
can I talk to you?

I want to talk to you

about what happened
at basketball today, okay?

Here, let me see.
Let me see Magna-man.

Okay, let's go.

Hey, hey!
Where we going? Whoa!

Whoa!

Okay. Oh, yeah.

Okay, listen...

Geoff, Geoff, Geoff,

I want to talk to you.

Um...

so, Geoffrey,

I heard that you were

thinking about quitting
basketball.

Yes.

- Why?
- I'm no good.

Who said that?

You're terrific!
Nobody said you're no good.

Who told you that?

Michael's good.
You said so.

Oh.

See, no.

Michael's good,
and so are you.

Here's what happened.

I was talking
to Coach Bryan today

about something else,

and you heard me
say a little joke.

Daddy does that sometimes,
but I was just kidding.

Like when you call me
"poopy-head."

I know you really don't
think I'm a poopy-head.

Okay, maybe a bad example.

Look, here's the thing--

I was wrong
to say that joke today,

and I'm sorry.

Okay?

Okay.

Good. Good, I'm glad.

You know you're
my boy, right?

Yeah.

Okay, then.

And I want you to play basketball,
because you really are very good.

- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are!

I told you I was just kidding about
Scooby-Doo and all that,

so you can
play basketball now.

But I don't want to.

Yes, you do.
It's fun.

But I'm the worst.

You're not the worst.

I don't want to hear
that talk anymore.

All you've got to do
is keep trying.

Hey, remember the story
of the tortoise and the hare,

and the tortoise was
way behind in the race,

but he kept saying,
"l think I can! I think I can!"

Atrain saidthat.

Okay. It doesn't matter
who said it.

What matters is,
that is a true story...

and all you gotta do

is keep thinking you can
and keep playing,

and you will win that race.

Do I have to?

Yes!

No, no.

No, no, you don't have to.

I don't want anyone to think
that I'm making you.

But I don't want you
to miss out on the fun.

That's the most
important part, the fun.

Eh, no, thanks.

You know what else
basketball players get all the time?

Lots and lots of gum.

Would anybody like
devilled eggs?

Yeah, I'll take a couple more, Ma.

Hey, you're walking home.

You know, honey,

if anything,
pull Mommy's face up.

Daddy?

What, buddy?

I'm bored.

Well, maybe you should
go to the playground.

But I want to play.

What? In the game?

Oh, yeah!
Absolutely! Come on!

Halftime!

All right! Great!
That was great!

Everybody was good.
Super-duper job, everybody.

Let's rehydrate
and come right back.

Coach Bryan,

Geoffrey has something
he wants to ask you.

Sure. What can l
do for you, my friend?

Can I play?

Well, Geoffrey, before you said
you didn't feel like playing,

but now you
changed your mind

and you want to play?

You heard him...

Coach Bryan--
Coach Bryan.

Well, Geoffrey,
if you want to play,

I'll put you right in.

You can be number 7,

if you're ready
to have fun.

He's ready!

Okay, I'll go sit.

Hey, number 7, you know
who else was number 7?

Mickey Mantle.

I believe that's baseball.

I know, Bryan.

But he was still great,

and it was
a sport, too.

And he hadfun,

and that's the most
important thing.

That's all right, buddy.

Next time pick it up...

if you want to.

Looking good out there!

All right!
Way to play tough "D"!

What are you doing?

What? I'm trying
to keep it alive up here.

Here we go, Geoffrey,
here we go.

Where are you going?

Different family.

Hello.

Traveling.

That's all right,
Geoffrey.

Dribbling
isn't everything.

Way to get the ball! You got the ball!
Way to get the ball!

Way to have fun out there!

Go, fun!

Hey, that looks like fun!

Hey! Ha ha ha!

Calm down.

Hey, I'm here for him.

Maybe you're a little
too here for him.

Do you want to help out?
How about a little chatter?

Hey! Foul!
He was fouled!

Two shots!

Ohh. He gets two shots.

All right, Geoffrey,
don't worry.

Whatever you do
in life is great!

Hold it, buddy.

Behind the line.

That's all right, honey.
It's a common mistake.

We've all done that,
right?

Would you sit down?

Yeah, buddy!

Oh, did you see that?
Oh, man, that was great!

Ow!

He bit me!

Geoffrey! Geoffrey!

Geoffrey!
Geoffrey!

Oh. Yeah, okay.

I know, I know.
You've got another shot. Yeah.

This one doesn't matter,
either, Geoffrey.

Whatever you want!

Geoffrey!

Did you see my boy?
Did you see my boy?

Did you see my boy?
Did you all see my boy?

Aah! Ohh! Ow!

I'm all right.
I'm okay. I'm okay!

Way to go, Geoffrey!
Yeah! You, too, Michael!

I didn't forget about you!
I have two sons!

Yeah! And a daughter!

Yay! Yay!
Yay, everybody!

Move over. Move over.

Ow. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Is that your dad?

Okay, kids.
Great fun today.

I'm proud of both of you,
and, listen, Geoffrey,

it wouldn't have mattered if you'd
missed those shots, but you didn't!

You made 'em both!
I love you! I love you both, guys!

- I'll see you in the morning!
- Good night.

Good night.

Ohh.

What have we here?

That's very nice.
That's very nice.

Where you going?
Where you going?

Where are you going?
Where are you going?

Where are you--

Ohh!